As Mother’s Day approaches, my heart is especially sensitive to my friends for whom this holiday will be hard. I have friends who will be standing by gravesites this Mother’s Day. I also have friends whose moms haven’t been a part of their lives in many years. And those who have challenging relationships with their moms who try to navigate Mother’s Day with grace but some necessary distance.
No matter the circumstances, I wanted a post that could help those feeling the sting of a mother’s absence.
My friend, Lisa-Jo, knows this delicate struggle in deep ways. And from her own pain, she pens these words for us…
My mom used to dance in the mornings.
A happy, shameless jig in her PJs right out there in the driveway as my dad drove us off to school. She’d dance and wave and grin and I could feel the love well up from my toes to my nose. It spilled out of me – this being someone’s daughter. Loved. Cherished. Celebrated.
She’s been dead now 21 years to the day since I turned 18.
Time passes and with it go the birthdays, love stories, anniversaries, new babies, first steps, preschool orientations, international moves, new jobs, hair color changes. And each milestone is a mile more in the road that we don’t walk together.
I am the motherless daughter.
And three continents and three kids later I have grown up into the motherless mother.
Of two sons. And a daughter.
Everything I can’t remember about my mother I see reflected in my daughter’s eyes. I am terrified by how much I love her. How does a mother bear it? The good-bye. Twenty years. Twenty years. It hurts to type it.
Twenty years ago I sat in a pew and sang the last words my mother left for us:
“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well, it is well, with my soul.’”
One week after I’d turned eighteen. I’m thirty-nine today. And I’m still singing it, Mom. I’m singing it still, and I still believe every hard, awful word to be true. That we can sing though the heavens crash open and the world comes pouring down around us. We can raise our eyes and our voices to the hills, where our help comes from, and sing. Even when all that comes out is a whisper.
“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well, it is well, with my soul.’”
So many of us make the journey to motherhood without a mom. Whether she’s absent because she chose to leave or because she was emotionally unavailable or because she died like mine did, we all have to make sense of what that means for our own mothering.
I am the motherless mother.
If you are too, can I take your hand?
Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?
I believe God can take it.
I believe He invites it.
…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26.
Go ahead and groan child. Let the part of you that never got to grow up with a mom, never got to bear down with her as you bore down in labor, never got to introduce her to your own babies — let that part of you weep if she needs to. You are beautiful and loved and not a single tear falls to the ground uncherished by the Father God who holds us both.
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
~Psalm 56:8
You are your mother’s daughter, created in your Father God’s image. And nothing can break that.
We’re in this together. Every step of the way. And you are braver than you know, for all the ways you mother.
{Click here to see the video if you’re reading in an email.}
So let us celebrate quiet together. Whisper into the comments what you miss, what you loved, what you wish she might have done different, what you wish you’d said, what you wish she knew about her grand babies, what makes you your mother’s daughter.
And today I will stop, remember, and rejoice with you, my brave, beautiful, utterly beloved sister!
Happy nearly Mother’s Day,
Photo credits: Mallory MacDonald
Lisa-Jo’s new book, Surprised by Motherhood, is her story of rediscovering her own mom through her kids and the Jesus who saved the best till last.
Click here to read the first three chapters for free.
Click here to order a copy for a special mother in your life.
GIVEAWAY: In celebration of mothers everywhere, we’re giving away 3 copies of Lisa-Jo’s book — Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom AND three sets of Daily Grace Teacups and Teapots. If you are a mother, have a mother, or know a mother this book is for you. Just leave a comment to be entered. (Please note: this giveaway is only open to US residents.)
I can so relate, wish my mom was here to see me be a mom and her 4 amazing grandkids…
Thank you so much Lysa, for sharing that touching story with us all. I truly loved that everything that you remember about your MUM is reflected in your daughter’s eyes. Precious. God bless you this Mother’s Day.
I wish I’d known, all those decades, that it wasn’t my fault she was so unhappy. She was gripped by depression, which relaxed just enough to hand her over to Alzheimers.
I’m grateful my Mom is still around. It’s my Grandma that I ache for, even after twenty-eight years. She was everything to me. A ray of Sunshine on cloudy days. I can’t wait to see her in Paradise and introduce her to my family.
My mother has been gone for almost twenty years, I have raised a daughter who is now on her own, I am raising a granddaughter, and this made me feel so very special. Thank you.
As a Leadership Coach who works with women to help give them clarity and focus for their lives, this brought tears to my eyes. So many are missing their moms right now. I am tremendously blessed to have mine still with me even though marriage brought me to another state and separated her from me. I still feel the sting of not being able to see her everyday or get those lasting hugs and reassuring looks that only Mama can give. The phone is just not the same. It’s so hard being without the one who was there for me when no one else was. But I cherish that she is still with me, and welcome the opportunity to rack up a whole bunch of frequent flier miles to see her often.
Thanks for sharing. I try to ignore that pinch in my heart when Mother’s Day comes and just focus on my own two children. Mom’s been gone 13 years, and my son was the only grandchild she ever met and held (he was 3 months old when she died). Can’t wait to see her in Heaven, happy and no longer ill!
This is exactly how I’ve felt for the past 11 yrs. Every mile stone that I’ve accomplished without her by side has been bittersweet. Always wondering with so much sorrow yet joy at the same time. Having 2 kids (boy & girl) who will never know their grandma has been painful indeed. But God’s been my strong tower and the hope that we’ll see her in heaven has been my biggest motivation. My husband my greatest supporter and my children, my reason to live and enjoy life as we know it. Happy mother’s day to all motherless mothers.
I would love to win this. I have been homebound for quite awhile and my mom has not been able to visit in some time. I miss her so much.
This post nearly brought tears to my eyes as it struck memories of growing up without a mother around. I don’t have any kids currently but I hope to someday. I’ve gone through life getting bits and pieces of how to be a woman from other people in my life or the people I admired from a distance but I never thought what it would be like to have a child and go through labor without a mothers support. It brings me comfort knowing that others have gone through the samething and Gods grace is sufficient to give me what I need at the right time. Even though I don’t have a mother around he has strategically placed various women in my life to fill the void. Thank you for this post it really gave me many things to be grateful for.
What a beautiful post (sitting here with tears in my eyes). It’s been 10 years since my mom died and I still miss her. Thank you for these beautiful words that so express my feelings.
Jenny in Florida jennyb111@gmail.com
Thank you for this. My mom went to heaven two months ago. This is my first Mother’s Day without a mom and today I broke down when my oldest daughter asked me what was wrong. It seems that every store I go into and almost every email that I open reminds me that this year there’s no card to buy, no gift and lunch to plan. Although I was so blessed to have her in my life for so long, the last few years were not pleasant ones as life took its toll on her body and mind. But oh the emptiness that I feel right now missing her so much. I try to remember that she’s no longer in pain and that I will see her again one day.
I would love this book for my beautiful friend Susan. She misses her mom so much and just tears up whenever she speaks of her. It is a reminder to those of us that still have our moms in our lives to cherish the time we still have.
I still have my mom but probably not for much longer as she is 80 and beginning to have health problems. This article touched me deeply and inspired me to be more intentional about the time I spend with my daughters, now 17 and 27.
Thank you.
I appreciate all the support my mom gives me when she comes to visit. I don’t always show it or even say it as often as I should but, I love you Mom!
I have a mom and that is a blessing sent by
God, but I wish every day that my mom would have danced
With me and cradled me, I don’t think she
Really new how to love me, because of so much that
Happen while I was young and has I grew up I decide
By myself at 14 that I need to leave the only home that I new to be safe. But what I do know is that god showed me grace,..the one gift my mom did share with
Me was she told me about Jesus when I was about 7 years old and when I was 10 years old in the hospital she asked me if I believed and if I did she would pray with me so I could ask him my heart.
I gave my life to Jesus, she gave me the gift of eternity
So I have to be grateful to her and Honor her always.
My life with my mom I’ll never understand how she could let the things happen the way they did. But it doesn’t matter anymore because her gift to me was to know our lord and savior. And that is my blessing of love
And I’m a mom of two amazing Daughter who are women now that I have shared Jesus with them and I’m a better
Mom because of them!
I just wanted to say the book would be great to share
With my mother but also with my girls I share with
Them all the with tea I thought it would be nice
To share tea and may be read the book together
With them:-)
Thanks
Another “missing group” is the childless “mother”. One who keenly feels the passing of each Mother’s Day – actually each day – without the child of her heart. Reaching a certain age and realizing that it will never be is also a sorrow. There is a missing of that unmet potential. This wave of sorrow washes anew as contemporaries are now becoming grandmothers.
I lost my mother 8 years ago on May 12th. It was a couple of days before Mother’s Day. Little did I know, I would need her more now than I did then. I have an 18 month old little girl, and I wish almost daily that she were here to give me advice on how to raise her or comfort me when I feel guilty about not doing things “the right way”. I hope to be as good a mother as mine was to me.
I miss my mom.
This is a very difficult day. Thank you for being open and sharing, it helps to remember we are not alone. I miss what could have been. I am more intentional with my three girls.
My husband is a college minister and I help lead the college girls. I would love to read this book and use what I learn from it to help girls who don’t have their moms for whatever reason. My experience with having an absent mom has been a painful journey but through Christ I’ve worked through my anger towards her and now that I am a mom I know that I can change the cycle of my family and be a great mom and that is all because all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me! God is good!!
4 years now I am motherless and grandmother less. It all happened within 2years from one another. I am lost and empty without their presence. I need comfort and understanding and know I am not alone.
Sweet woman… how my heart longs to have a mother… My mother has chosen a path of the world. Her choices, behavior, and manipulation has created a rift in our relationship. 9 months ago I finally had to cut our relationship, after much prayer. It has been a blessing and an incredible hardship. Because she had a motherless mother, my mother became her momma’s mother. Having children felt like the right thing to do, so I was born after 4 years of marriage and my brother almost 9 years after. As we grew older she chose her life over us. To this day, she still does. It saddens my heart that although we lived in the same house, our close bond was never to adhere permanently; always being held together by a Band-Aid. Growing into a young woman, I desired to glean wisdom she did not have because she was from a motherless mom. Her desire for freedom from the burden of responsibility of children was understandable since her mother could never truly care for her the way a mother should. Neither of them truly knew how. Seeing this generational gap in parenting has caused so much emotional damage in my heart, the repair seemed impossible…but…with God…ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. I am 35, homeschooling momma of 4, and trusting Jesus for the wisdom of mothering. I trust the awesome power of the Holy Spirit to guide me. On days when I am lost, when I begin to feel as my mother did (desiring a escape), I take a quick run to starbux. On days when I am ready to give up on this life because I just don’t know how to do this anymore, I pray and trust the wonderful wisdom of my blessed husband. I have a great mentor whom God has blessed me with to share with me about her experiences. when I feel alone…wishing my kids could hug and hold their grandma, who lives not far away, I remember Jesus left us the Holy Spirit to be our helper, giving us all we need for the journey. This reminds me that none of us are missing anything that God can’t fill. This Mother’s day… I pray your heart will be overflowing as mine has learned to be. That the blessings of life will overflow your cup of joy, and may you be blessed beyond measure with older women who desire to love on you, and impart their wisdom upon you. God Bless you and thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for your words! I have a very similar story and it saddens me as I try to make sense of where to go in my relationship with my mom. We can move forward and break generational curses with the Lords help. It’s good to know I’m not alone. 🙂
One thing I do miss…when I was a child, her hugs were full of love for me. Her eyes were full of joy when she saw my face. God was all she needed. I miss her love for God…I miss her heart for me.
I am only four years from the passing of my Grandma, but I still tear up when I play Victory in Jesus in church, cause she requested her grand kids sing it at her funeral. I still hear the tears in my Mom’s voice as she told me Grandma had passed; and I know the pain on loss I feel is magnified for her at the loss of her mother.
I am so blessed to still have my mum and thank God always that she has always been there for me. As she grows older I feel I’m starting to become the mum and she the daughter, its scary but I can say I’ve had a wonderful teacher. Thankyou mum xxoo
Time seems only to decrease the number of days I cry over missing my mom, who passed almost four years ago. She was with me for the laboring of two of my four children yet never knew the other two, which always breaks my heart. I know my mom loved me fiercely and loved her grandchildren the same. I miss her everyday. I miss sharing my life with her, calling for her advice, spending time with her. Your post certainly opened the floodgates for me. Yet even still, I was blessed with a mama who loved me unconditionally and who adored her grand babies for the few years she had with them. The pain never does seem to go away. Yet Jesus is faithful to minister to my pain; I know he knows my heartache and he sees my tears. It is often the only way to get through. Thank you for your post. For being able to put it out there for others of us to relate to. I’m grateful.
What a beautiful blog post. On the flip side, there are mothers whose daughters have chosen not to be a part of their life. This Mother’s Day, my Mom will be one of those mothers. If only my sister could get it into her heart that she is her…”mother’s daughter, created in her Father God’s image. And nothing can break that.”
Would love to win one of the books. I have a friend who lost both her mom and her dad within 6-months of each other this last year and just had her first child, a daughter. She would definitely benefit from this book and Lisa-Jo’s story.
Motherless Mother……what a revealing and wrenching term. I was 31, mother of 2 babies, when I lost my 53 year-old Mom to diabetes in March,1988. 26 years later, I have finally come to the acceptance stage of my grief process. March was also my Mom’s birthday month–she would’ve been 80. I miss her every day so I never noticed that I was angry. She could’ve lived longer if she had been compliant and taken care of herself. She could’ve avoided amputation of her foot – or at least tried to learn how to use a prosthetic. Why didn’t she want to live? Weren’t me, my siblings, my kids, enough? It finally clicked — every March I sank into a deep depression and I made the connection……I was angry at Mom for leaving me. I needed her so many times to help me remember, teach me things, tell me how to do stuff, remind me why, offer encouragement, share wisdom and love my kids. I looked at her picture through streaming tears and finally said “Good Bye Mommy”…..even now I feel misty……but I know we will dance together again, basking in His perfect love and rejoicing forever. Meanwhile, this “fluffy” mama is doing what she can to get fit and stay healthy so my daughters are not “motherless mothers”…….my life’s goal is to be an “Auntie Mame”-type grandma!
I would like to win this for my sister. We lost our mom Aug 2012, but long before that we lost her to a bottle. When she drank, she would bring up everything we did that disappointed her from childhood to our adult years. Just before my mom died, there was a misunderstanding between my dad and my sister which has resulted in bitterness, unforgiveness, and division.
My mom died many years ago and I have missed her ever since, but I’m blessed to be a mom to a daughter and son and a grandmom to four wonderful grandkids.
I am honored to still have my Mother. After having lost my Dad 1 year ago, we are looking at buying their home and creating in-law quarters for her. She loves Jesus so much and would benefit from Lisa-Jo’s encouragement.
Mothers Day should be a special tribute to mothers and.motherless women who are or have been Wow(women of wisdom) in our lives.
A poignant reminder to cherish all our loved ones while we can. I am blessed to still have my mom, and the older I grow, the more I realize what a blessing she is.
Thank you.
My mother is still alive, although I lost her several years ago. She is blind, has had several strokes, and is one of the most miserable people I know. She has become the nastiest to those who love her the most, and my dad suffers the most. I am sad for her, but yet I’ve learned to distance myself both physically and emotionally so that the pain and negativity doesn’t consume my own life and flood over into my own family. I pray that she soon finds some peace and rest in the arms of Jesus.
While I’m fortunate that my mother is still alive, and I’m blessed to have her living in our home, ours is a strained relationship. I mourn that my mother never got to experience the love that I feel for and from my daughters as their blessed mother, the joy of dressing up like princesses, going to prom, sipping tea from tiny plastic cups…all the things she missed because her mother was victim of a needless, tragic family accident when she was only two years old. I mourn that she didn’t have a mom to stick up for her and protect her as a precious being, to show her how to really love and connect and give her a sense of value. Instead, her life only got worse from that day. I mourn all this for my mother, but also for my sister and I, who missed out on our grandmother’s love in more ways that we can acknowledge, than we will ever know, and as a result, missed out on our mother’s love and protection in the ways our souls craved.
Over the years I would often ask her, Mom what would you say, how would you handle it, am I being the best Mom I can be? Mom has been gone for 20 years and oh how I miss her!
Happy upcoming Mother’s day to all. Thank you Lisa-Jo for sharing your heart with us. I can only image your pain and the pains of many here in the comment section. Mothering is a gift from God and how we chose to use the time God as given us to love and encourage our children God will hold us accountable for.
Let us all pray that God will keep us alive to see our children and grandchildren. Let us all pray that God will keep us faithful to Him and the job He is given us to mother our children. Let us be the kind of mothers we wanted our mothers to be.
Be strong my sisters and mothers in Christ, God sees and know all our pains, sorrows and fears.
Peace to all.
Let us also remember those woman who long to be mothers and are not. This to cause pain and an avoidance/dislike of the words “Mother’s Day”. Or those beautiful women who were mothers but due to the loss of a child no longer see themselves as mothers. Holidays like these cause pain for a lot of people, may we remember to reach out to them also.
Thanks for the words. I have people in my life with out a mother for different reasons. Will be sharing this post!
My mother is still alive. I never received encouragement, hugs or love from my mother. I was blessed to have an awesome mother-in-law who loves me. And I thank God that he showed me how to forgive my mother and pray for her.
I was really moved today reading the words Lisa Jo has written about mothers. My lovely mum died 9 years ago at the age of 69, it took a month from cancer diagnosis, she was gone so quickly, hardly any time to say goodbye. I still feel the shock sometimes. This year the anniversary of her death fell within a few days of UK Mother’s Day and a year since my loved father in law died. It’s been very tough. I miss my mum so much, I have to think of the times she was there and how she helped with mine and my sister’s children while they were growing up, and be grateful for that. She has missed so much, she loved my son and he is now grown and flown the nest. I feel like a motherless mother who is also now a childless mother! I try to convince myself that he still needs me, but it has all changed and some days I just dont like it God! I thank Him that our son is independent and making his own way in the world and that God has helped him to become a lovely young man. I just long that my mum could’ve seen it happen and rejoice with us in his successes. My sister and I now look to each other to take an interest in what is happening with our children, I thank God I have a sister, but it is not the same, no one can ever replace that mother-daughter bond, or give that loving unconditional acceptance she gave, but I have my happy memories, special memories, and mum and I share our love of Jesus, which makes me feel closer to her. My mum had a new lease of life at 55 and she went on to get all her ballroom dancing medals, she was still dancing up to a month before she went to be with Jesus. She died the same day as Pope John Paul and we liked to think of them both dancing through the gates of heaven together. When I feel low, I think of her dancing before God’s throne in heaven, and I have the hope to see her again for which I am very grateful. Thank you for your article, it has helped me connect with some of my repressed sadness, and bring my grief and thoughts to God, who is our great Comforter, Father and Friend.
This is beautifully said. My mom had a way of greeting you at the door and you felt like you were the only one in the world that mattered at that moment. Like her heart had been longing to see you.
I have a 5 year old who only knew her 4 years of his life and she had dementia…and he knows this truth about her. She was a great mom…everyday I hear her voice in how I talk to my son. I got Breast Cancer this year and wished many long moments that she was here in person. I count on her prayers and smiles from Heaven….I know she is at peace and that makes all the difference.
Thanks for writing this and for sharing.
Wow! That was very lovely. I am 39 and have lived 8hours from my parents for 18 years and a few hours for the four years of college. I was so busy becoming that those college years were much easier. But the almost 20years since I’ve been married has been hard. Every time I was pregnant there were many times I longed to feel her arms around me. Every time I was in labor she moved Heaven and earth to be with me, driving those eight hours (once overnight after working a 12 hour shift and making it in the nick of time). We chat at least three times a week and it does lessen the pain of separation but it is still hard . Some holidays are worse than others especially Christmas and Easter when our friends spend their time with families and we have to make traditions for our family. The Lord has been gracious to give me my momma for all the years He has I will be devasted when she (and Dad) are no longer able to travel or are no longer around. My mom is one of my best friends!
How special this day is to so many women in so many different ways. Thanks for the heart felt story.
Thanks for this. It is good to be reminded of God’s promises as we approach Mother’s Day. It is also important to be sensitive to everyone’s situation as they relate to this day. Many of my friends have mothers who are not present in their lives, or were unable to have children, so this is very helpful to me. Also, encourages me to always look to the One who will carry us through all of our situations. Praise Him!
I can’t even whisper them – yet. Life has been a roller coaster since she passed. No funeral. No grave site. While I have my Heavenly Father, on Earth I am an orphan now, and an orphan at any age still feels empty and lost.
My mom went home on May 14, 1996. Not one day goes by that I don’t think of her. I thank God each day for His gift of a godly, Christian mom who loved me like He loves me-unconditionally.
I am blessed to still have my lovely 88 year old mom, but reading this….and watching the video made me cry for my best friend Martha whose Mom left her as a small child to be raised by her a Grandfather. She felt unwanted. To this day at age 54 she still wonders about her mother. Recently her daughter in law carried a high risk infant daughter knowing she would most likely die….she died during delivery. They will both have mothers days that will be filled with sadness! My prayers are for those Moms and others like them. Peace and blessing Martha and Shelly.
I do have a mom still BUT not without allot of pain and suffering from mental and beaten many times by a cord! She has apolgized many times for all but I do have a wall around me and have I suffered greatly for what she has done to me over the years. I do love my mom and she is not a person I can call up and say can we go out shopping or anything like that. I have a family and I do things with my girls and make memories like a mom and daughters should. My son has had my love but doesn’t want us in his life due to
Us standing up to him in his lies and deceit! I am a overcomer and know with GOD all things are possible! I am thankful for him Always:).
I am not a mother…just a motherless daughter trying to make it through the first Mother’s Day without my best friend. My mom passed away a few days before Christmas, so everything’s still fresh and very painful. While I know she is no longer suffering here on earth, loosing her has been one difficult trial. I do good for a few weeks, then it hits and it’s all I can do to get out of bed and carry on with my day. It’s hard to say which holiday is going to be hard, cause when I expect difficulty, I don’t have it. I really thought Easter would be hard. She would always make me a Easter basket, even though I’m far from being a young child. But it was so special finding the basket with money in the plastic eggs and just little things she’d find. She was a wonderful mom and I miss her so much. Oh, what I’d do to be able to talk to her one more time to tell her I love her and to hug her.
If I won this book I would give it to my sister-in-law. Her mother (my mother-in-law) died suddenly in 2009 and because my sister-in-law is the youngest of five children, her children were my mother-in-law’s youngest grandchildren. I think her mother’s death has made my sister-in-law feel “cheated” out of many of the life experiences that her older siblings enjoyed while their mother was still here. Maybe this book would be a comfort to her.
I too am a motherless daughter. Mom passed away nearly 8 years ago. Her spirit, however will forever dwell within me. My parents made me who I am and my goal is to live my life as a reflection of them.
Beautiful! This will be my first mother’s day without my mom. She passed away in December 2013. I’m thankful that each of my little ones did meet my mom, but they will not know the beautiful woman that she was since their little memories are too young to remember. My mom was my biggest cheerleader on my toughest days. I miss her so much!
I do still have my mother physically, but we lost out connection a while ago. I must act as the mother now, since my 62 year old mother lives in a nursing home facility, and is bound to a motorized chair. Many health issues and an unwillingness to take care of herself has made it now impossible for her to be involved in my or my daughter’s life. Much of her memory is gone, so she has no stories to offer my little girl about when I was little (or when my mother was little). She has no advice to pass on to me. She is not able to help me. Sometimes it is really hard. But God has been good to me. He sent me a mother-in-law who has become one of my best friends. She fills in the gaps.
As I sit here with tears flowing. I am 65 and lost my Mom when I was 16. Have spent my life always thinking would she approve of me, would she be proud. I raised two daughters that are so beautiful inside and out thinking what they missed not having a grandmother in their lives. How they both are now married with children of their own, both living for The Lord.
I know there is a reason God chose to take her when she was so young and had 4 young children. I also know someday I will understand.
Although my mom is still living at the age of 13 she suffered a severe stroke that forever changed our lives. I lost the mother I knew and a lot more. I had to quickly grow up and become a bit more of an adult with a new list of responisibilities and expectations. It wasn’t till I was about 35 that it hit me, the impact, the reality of the loss. My mom is still alive and well hoewver I have learned to accept the women she is and accept the dependent woman she is… Now a mom myself I am at the point of no reference but trusting God to guide & direct me as we’ll understanding & grasping … It’s ok…
Wow. Tears. I still have my mom, but have dear friends who don’t. Though my mom and I are close now, we were not when I was growing up. She had a very rough life, and things are difficult for her now, caring for my stepfather who has Alzheimer’s. anyhow, this really touched me. Thank you.
I would love, love, love to win this book!
I appreciate today’s post. I lost my Mom 2 years ago on Christmas Day. I want to tell her so badly about important & silly things in my life. Thank you for these words that comfort me.
Mother’s Day is always a hard day to reflect on. It began hard when my birth mom decided to disappear from my life at the age of 6 and I am now almost 36, it continued to be hard when my dad remarried when I was 12 and my step mom was emotionally unavailable to make me feel loved, even more so after I married 13 yrs ago, but Mother’s Day started to become more meaning full when we started to have kids almost 9 years ago, we have 4, and got hard again 3 years ago when my mother inlaw passed away who filled in the missing gaps in my heart and helped healed some of my brokenness. But I continue to press on, remembering the dark times of my story are not the end, they are just the beginning, I am blessed to be mom to 4 miracles from above and create new legacies I pray they carry on to their own kids. I’m also blessed because of God’s gracious love toward me and know it is he that can only heal the sadness I feel from time to time, I strive to find joy in each day while I’m on my motherhood journey and so grateful for authors like Lisa Jo who share their hearts to help others 🙂
Mothers imprint our lives when they’re there and when they’re not….Happy Mother’s Day.
My children are adults-38, 29 and 26 and I am still to this day surprised by motherhood. My birthday was two days ago and my oldest put the most wonderful words on Facebook about me. The me that I don’t see. My life would be nothing without the love of these three. God bless!
I have only one adult daughter and thankfully my mom is still living. Being a mother is hard even after they leave and get married. They are always your baby no matter what their age and you never stop worrying about them, but I put her in God’s hands and know that God will make everything work out in His time and His will. Happy mothers day to the Moms everywhere.
Wow! Her numbers almost match mine exactly. I lost my mom wgen I was 17 and I am now 40. I am in my second marriage (and last – now that I understand how a marriage is supposed to be like).I have 2 daughters from first marriage , 10 & 14. I often wonder how my life would be if my mom were still around. Some days I miss her so much it hurts. I get so mad because she wasnt there for many things – high school prom, graduation, wedding, both girls being born, and most of all when I came to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I truely dont know if my mom ever made that decision. I like to believe she did since when her and my dad were first married they were heavily involved in church. They both were officers in the Salvation Army. But by the time I was born they had stopped going to church. They were divorced when I was 7. My dad hasremarried twice and he has rededicated his life to the Lord and now we belong and go to the same church. Which couldn’t make me more happier. Anyway I would like to have some comfort just knowing if I will see her again some day in heaven. I know her lifestyle before she past away was not a good one. Anyway, I love you mom and miss you!!! Thank you Lisa Jo for this insight from your life.
Thank you for all your insightful encouragement for moms!
This year will be my first Mother’s Day without my Mother. I am 59 years old. She passed away November 10, when Mother’s Day comes it will be 5 months. She was 95 but she was best friend. I miss her so much. I saw her just about every day in my 59 years. She was such a saint! The song “It is Well” was sung at her funeral. She was a wonderful Mother. I feel so lost! God has definitely cared for me during this time. I am rejoicing she is in Heaven with my Daddy and her Savior but do not look forward to this day except that I have 3 wonderful children that she helped me raise. I am praying for each of you who are feeling the loss of your Mother. We must remember that God does comfort during these special times and walks this journey with us all. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you and God bless!
This would be the perfect gift for my first time expectant daughter, Motinrayo. Our son, an Iraqi war veteran, met her on a Christian dating site two years ago.His beautiful wife immigrated from Nigeria 11 years ago. Her Mom passed away in her homeland. Rayo has joined our rural Iowa family and brought new traditions.
I try to be sensitive to her and honor her heritage as she becomes a part of ours. I can never replace what she lost.
This is such a warm, honest post. I am grateful that my mom is still here and still teaching me. I’m 39 and treasure her wisdom. Though her mom is in heaven, her faith has been strengthen since my grandmother’s sudden death. Praying for the motherless mothers.
My heart breaks for all those women who have lost Mothers whether thru death or abandonment , even those whose mothers are still here but just don’t know how to be a Mother. My birth Mother gave me up for adoption. My adopted Mother did all the “things” Moms are suppose to do except she only loved my Dad. She worshiped him. So my brother and I always felt like we were taken care of but not nurtured. Today I stand proud as a Mother of 5 and Nana to 12. Not a perfect Mother but a Mother who tried to teach each one to love our Lord Jesus, love themselves and love those around them. I AM TRULY BLESSED.
My mother walked out almost 45 years ago when I was a week away from my 17th birthday. I bore and raised 4 sons and now have 5 lovely grandchildren and 2 on the way. I believe God has been healing me as much as I will let Him. Maybe we can do a Bible study one day for motherless women who are mothers? I do know that sharing with other women in my position makes me feel so much less alone. Praise God!
Thank you for the understanding and inspiration to face another ” motherless mothers day”….
Sitting here reading this and literally sobbing. My mother is coming to visit me in my new home tomorrow night. A home she did nothing to help me learn to create. A home she must be carefully and painstakingly invited into, for my sake.
Or maybe somehow she taught me much? Perhaps the woman I am is in many ways a tribute to her because I was motivated to grow and learn things myself and I learned much.
So beautifully expressed!!! My own mom lost her mom at 19 years old and you helped me understand what that has meant for her in a new and profound way today. I am grateful for that. As a mother of four children myself who is still very close to my mom, I am humbled by the grace God has shown me through this special relatlionship.
Mother’s Day was hard for me during the years that my husband and I were going through fertility issues because I wanted so badly to be able to stand in church when they recognized all the mothers. Thanks for your sensitivity on the subject because both of my grandmas passed away before I was born, so I am sure my parents relate yo this all too well.
Wow. Just when I thought I couldn’t be touched any deeper I watched the trailer. That was so wonderful. The one thing I have wanted all my life was to be a mother. The one thing I am most grateful are my two children, now adult. And being a grandmother is a crown. God knew what he was choosing for us. LOVED this post today. Just loved it.
I was my Mother’s sister. She had 4 daughters. One day as she observed her daughters interactions she said, “I wish I had a sister”. “Mom, I’ll be your sister”! Her tears showed me her heart. Mom is with us in every thought in our minds to every feeling in our hearts!
Thank you Mom!
Mom’s been gone for 11 years. Lost her the same year I became a mom. Miss her more as my son grows older. Would so love to have her wisdom in how to parent.
Powerful…thanks for sharing!
I am blessed to have my mother of 78 years with me. My sweet daughter-in-law is a mother of four children, 7, 3, and 1 year old twins. I help her a great deal and we have our moments of laughter, however I know she longs for her mother, who passed when her first born was a little over a year old. My daughter-in-law is a very strong woman and faithful to God and that is why she is a fantastic mother. I remind her the mothering skills she has is a tribute to her mother and that her mother lives through her as she raises her children. Thank you for this message on your blog.
Love the Motherless mother. Would love to have it for a friend who also lost her mother when we were 18.
Hey ladies! I would love to win the book with the adorable tea sets. Mother’s Day is one I have longed for a very long time. Our twins finally arrived but our son passed away four years ago this Sunday, May 4th. I am still Mom to a beautiful little girl who loves tea parties & so do I! I have one in the grave which makes me look forward to heaven & our little girl her reminds me daily that life on earth is worth living. It is hard. We take baby steps. The anniversary of his Death and Mother’s Day being only a week apart make it all incredibly hard to endure. I love you ladies for the investment you make into the lives of other women like myself. We journey together and that is huge. Thank you for your heart, your ministry & for loving God’s people the way you do! Much appreciated! Love to all!! XO
This was such a sweet article today, thank you. At this time of year, I also think of women who want children but are not able to become pregnant.
My sister was in that category for many years and each Mother’s Day at her church was very painful as the entire service celebrated something she desparately wanted but couldn’t have. Let’s also pray for these ladies.
In Christ,
Michelle
I have not lost my mother permanently but am losing her daily to a horrible disease called Alzheimer’s. It is so sad to watch but am thankful for the many years she was herself and all she taught me!
I never birthed a daughter but God gave me the privilege of adopting my daughter from China. Our favorite past time is tea parties. Love the tea set pictured.
I am in the process of adopting my daughter. How I have wished my mother were here to impart her wisdom to me. My mother was an amazing woman of God and how she would love my sweet little girl. I wish she were here to stand in the trenches with me and shower my daughter with love and wisdom. I cling to the hope of them meeting in heaven while we rejoice at Jesus feet.
Thanks for a good cry this morning. Mother’s Day always sneaks up on me. Start reading your post thinking it was about the Mother who doesn’t have children, only to realize it was about the Mom who doesn’t have a Mom. With the arrival of each of my babies (my newest is 2 months old) I have mourned the loss of my Mom anew. Thankful for your post, to remember that Jesus is the anchor of our soul…that he holds our tears…and remembers our pain.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom! I’m lucky enough to stil. Have mine, living close-by, and in a good relationship with her. But three of my closest friends have lost their moms. Thank you for your kind words!
I think your friend hit the plight of motherless mothers right on the head. I have a mom still, but we have never gotten along like we should. Mother’s Day is also hard for me because I lost my daughter when she was only 8 months old. The only way my ex would give me my freedom was to get custody of my daughter. Surrounded by his family, with none of my own, I had no choice but to give him what he wanted. She is 19 years old now, and every year Mother’s day is hard.
Praying for all the ladies who had to live life without their momma’s. I lost mine 3 years ago when I was 50 and it was by far the most difficult pain I had to endure. But God…”blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted” Happy Mothers Day Lysa!
Mother’s Day 2007..I knew it would be our last. She was my confidant, companion, and best friend. The kind of relationship that you wish for with your Mom. Her health was declining and she was living out her final days in a nursing home (as my Dad could no longer care for her). I left my husband and two small children to be with her to celebrate Mother’s Day. I truly believe it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Knowing full well it would be our last Mother’s Day together. Seven years have nearly passed and this holiday still hurts more than any other significant event. I still miss her terribly – I long for the days when I could pick up the phone and just talk about not much of anything. Those casual conversations that create a deeper closeness. But the grief has subsided. Oh, there are days when random tears start and days when I miss her more than others but in my heart I know she’s in a better place. I can only hope that as my teenage daughter ages that our relationship blossoms into one similar to what I had with my Mom. There is just no one like your Mom..whether they leave you as a child, at 37 like mine did or at any point in your life. The hurt and longing are there but perhaps the memories of cherished times can bring you peace.
I miss my mom and dad she has been gone since 94 and I am divorced with no children and my dad gone since 84 so it makes it hard with mothers day coming up and fathers day coming up so I look to god for comfort
Your words touch my heart and bring sadness. We are a unique group of women. I lost my mom so suddenly. I was 31 and raising 4 children. My youngest not yet 2 and my oldest was 14. I was close to my mom and thought there would never be a way to go on without her. She died on a Sunday morning after having been up during the night with back pain. Her chiropractor met her and my dad at his office in the morning as she thought she was needing an adjustment for what seemed to be her usual back pain. When he had mom lie down on the table she turned white and was gone. My dad called me as I was getting myself and younger ones ready for church. He said mom had a heart attack and to come right to the doctor’s office. I rushed over and was not prepared for what I saw. My mom on the floor with the paramedics working on her and a chest compression machine on her chest. They turned the machine off for a moment to see if her had a pulse. She didn’t. I calked my husband and asked him to meet us at the hospital. Dad and I followed the ambulance and we were put in a small room to wait. My two brothers came as well as my husband. The doctor and nurse came in and told us what we did not want to hear. She was gone. I felt like a motherless child. This all took place almost 30 years ago. There were and are countless times I wish I had my mom to lean on and get advice from. I have grown since that fateful day. I miss her and that spot she held in my life remains empty. She was a wonderful , generous and loving mom. I love her forever.
My mother was in a coma for 11 months and ultimately died from complications from pneumonia when I was just 14 years old, 13 when she was a pedestrian struck by a motorcycle which severely injured her and put her in a coma. My mom and dad were both “special” which I did not come to realize until she was in a coma and I went to live with my mom’s older sister that they both were mentally slow but not Down’s or autistic. On top of that my father was a severe alcoholic that abused my mother but through God’s grace I was a very quiet, shy, naïve child who, despite poverty, had a wonderful, loving mother and I never realized how “special” she was until I went to live with my aunt and started 9th grade. To me she was just my mom and she sheltered me as much as she knew how from my father. I miss her everyday, even after 28 years, marriage, and two beautiful boys. I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man whose mother is very much like a mother to me who went to be with the Lord a little over 4 years ago and I miss her dearly. My aunt who took me in and cared for me by choice did not have children and I am so blessed to have a wonderful aunt who is still with me to celebrate this Mother’s Day with. God is Good – All the Time!!
She loved flowers.
I have her laugh but miss it from HER mouth! I wish she could’ve meet her grand-babies and we could have shared the joy of them together! I miss our every Sunday phone calls and her patting my hand without saying anything, and I knew it was an I love you! She’s been gone 13 years, this year! Sometimes it seems like a while ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday but she is missed everyday!
I would love to win this prize as my mom’s name was Grace and I lost her in 1986 to breast cancer …The memory of her strong faith in the Lord has been such a blessing to me over the years and I can’t wait to see her again in heaven one of these days.
My Mom passed away in January of this year. This will be my first Mother’s Day without her. The grief is still very fresh. I wish I would have told her how much I loved her more often.
Thanks for writing today about mother’s. I love mine dearly & know what a blessing it is to have her with me still. My teenage cousin has lived her most of her life without a mother & has recently become one. I would love to share the book & gifts with her.
This hit me hard. I thought of a girlfriend who lost her mother in high school and so I am going to send this to her. Then I thought of myself and the strained relationship I have with my own mother…and the blessing of a wonderful mother-in-law. This will certainly bless many women. Thank you for sharing it.
My Mom passed away in 1995 a few months before my 40th birthday – she was my best friend & loved me unconditionally – why did You take her? I need my Mama! And truly, God wrapped His arms around me & comforted my grieving heart. Now, my heart aches for two nieces & two nephews whose Mom stepped into the presence of Jesus on May 2 of last year; their Dad passed away in 1999. I’m encouraged the way they’re leaning into Jesus to heal their broken hearts but it’s so hard to see. We love them the best we know how & they’re involved in loving churches. I’d love to have the book & tea set to share with them! Thanks so much for addressing this issue!
My Mom & I are working on repairing our relationship. It is not easy, there are set backs, but always steps forward. To read this book together over some tea would be such a help.
I soooo needed this article today! It’s bee 2.5
years since my mother passed and I miss her so.
Thank you so much ……
Thank you for this post. I will be sharing it with my best friend. She lost her mom a few years ago, but she is still having a rough time as she is pregnant with her 3rd child. I know this mother’s day will be hard for her. I would love for her to receive the “Surprised by motherhood” book.
I always feel bad because my mom is still here, but we have never had a relationship. She has severe mental and emotional problems. It does feel like that I grew up without a mother. I am still blessed beyond words, that she is still here on this earth. I wish things could have been different.
I am thankful my mother is a part of my life, but our relationship is complicated. I’m reminded of that on Mother’s Day when choosing a card that doesn’t say too much or too little. I pray the Lord will allow my daughter and I to always be close. Thank you for the blog today.
Thank you for such a wonderful post. Mother’s Day is not my favorite. I have many friends who never were privileged to be a mom. I remember vividly the ache in my heart after our first baby had died on my first Mother’s Day watching all the other moms at church stand. God has since blessed me with two wonderful children that I have cherished. I miss my mom desperately and wish she could have seen my children grow up. Thank you for addressing the sadness that can accompany this holiday when many services seem to exclude the heartbroken on this day. You are a blessing to many.
I am grateful to have my mom in my life. As a military wife I have missed her so much over the years as we’ve been stationed all over the world. My husband retires next month and we will be moving – you guessed it – to be closer to my mom. Even my husband loves her dearly. I look forward to my daughters being able to spend more time with their Nana 🙂
I can relate. Not to the loss of my own mother but the words of how terrifying it is to love so much. I have two children of my own and it scares me to think how much I love them. I don’t believe you can really understand what true love means until you have your own child. I love my own mother dearly, I love my husband, my sister, my family. But, when these two blessings entered my life, love brought on a whole new meaning. I cherish it every day and at the same time, I’m scared of it. I worry about the “what if’s” more than I should, I know God has a plan and my unnecessary worry does me no good but it doesn’t mean that it stops. Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there that love with complete abandon.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this post. I’ve still got my mom, but I’ve lost my dad, and my mother-in-law, and it’s so hard to put that painful void into words. This was painfully comforting to read. God bless each one of you here today.
We are going through a frustration situation with my mom right now and her illness, myb2 sisters and I and how I teared up when I saw this video,realizing all she did and does and what we continue to do!
22 years ago my mother left my sisters and I. I am still hurt and angry. Where was she when I needed her most. When I was in labor it was a horrible experience. All I did was cry for my mother and at that time it had been 12 years already. Every mother’s day has been hard but it has been even harder since I became a mother. There is no way I could ever leave my son and never look back. The good thing about it is that I make sure my son never feels the way that I have. I make sure he know how much I love him everyday. Thank you for sharing your own pain with me today. It helped uplift me in so many ways.
I am a mother who is seeking to raise my children up in the Lord. Sometimes it is such a struggle trying to be Christ-like when I really just want to run. I am appreciative of my mother, but my grandmother made a huge impact on me on how to show love and learn to love my children better.
Try doing Mother’s Day without your child.
🙁
That, my friend, in my view, is an even bigger challenge! I will pray for you right now,
as my parents have lost 3 of my siblings at young ages. I’ve seen first hand the pain
of losing a child. It’s an even more painful ordeal than the loss of a parent. Keep strong!
This Mother’s Day will be one of mixed emotions. I lost my mom in 2005 from complications of Alzheimer’s that she had had since her 60’s(she was 74 when she passed away). I miss her so very much. My mother in law passed away in Dec 2013 at age 89(she lived with us the last 3 years of her life). My husband and I miss her as well, and now, joy will come again either late May or early June as my daughter will be giving birth to her 3rd child(my fifth grandchild)!! It is well with my soul. 🙂 Love my Heavenly Father so much for all his blessings! Would love to win this book and teapot to go along with my other teapots that I cherish. Have a blessed day and Mother’s Day!!
I am thankful for the Mom God has given me.
Thanks so much for this! My own Mom is still with us!! I have a newer friend though, at work, whose Mom has chosen not to encourage, or even like her daughter. I pray for that friend, loving on her how I can…trying to show her that Jesus can and does want to give her new life and love…
We both like tea, one of our connections…
Thanks!!
Liz
So thankful to be a mother but still trying to do it right! My own mother is a great model of selflessness and I aspire to be like her.
Thanks for post.
I lost my mother in 2001, but I still miss her today. I think of all she missed…watching my kids grow up, get married, her first great-grandchild. It breaks my heart. There is nothing like a mother’s love!
My mom is far away. Why— because my husband is a minister and God has moved us 700 miles away from our family. In the beginning years of ministry it was so hard to be away from my family. I gave birth to our son while being away from my mom. And we have had many many milestones while being apart.
But God has taught me that even though I am away from my family, I can choose to make them as close to my heart as I want them to be, by calling to chat about nothing, by sending pictures of what is going on in our daily life, etc.
What a beautiful blog. I have my mom, but my mother did not have hers. My grandmother died the day after I was born. There are days my heart breaks for her, I don’t know how she raised 3 of us without my Grandmother. I am thankful for her and thankful for things like this to remind us.
I pray blessings for today and all days for all of the beautiful Mom’s out there. You are loved!
Juli
Thank you for this post. It meant a lot to read it. My mother is still on this earth but we have not had a relationship since I was a child. She was the best mom she could be when I was growing up although she suffered from depression and this impacted the whole family. Once I moved out at 18 her and my father decided to divorced which was too much for her to handle and sent her into a life of drugs and alcohol. I am now 34 and have no relationship with her at all. I also have a son that doesnt even know who she is. When he was younger he thought my grandmother was my mother. Over the years she has tried to get clean but I was always heartbroken when she relapsed so eventually I had to completely distance myself from her. Plus the drug use has changed her. She is no longer the mom I knew when I was a child. It hurts a lot to not have a mother in my life but I am thankful to have had one as a child. Some people don’t even have that. I am also thankful to have other women in my life now that I look to as mother figures. I know God placed them into my life for a reason.
Thanks again for the blog and by reading these other comments I know that I am not alone.
I am so grateful for my friend sharing this article with me. My mother went home to be with the Lord 6 years ago. Mother’s day is not the same for me. I’m grateful for the years and time the Lord gave me with her. This article really encouraged me! Very well said!
Blessed with two children and still have my mother and sister to guide me. My heart goes out to all my friends that have lost their mothers too soon. My best friend included, she lost her mom and step mom both, late last year and her son is deployed to Afgainistan. I am trying to make this Mothers Day special for her, because I know it will be hard on her!
Thank you for this. My mom is still alive but cares for my father who is ill. I forwarded it two a couple friends who gtew up without a mothet. Praying it will be a comfort to them.
This is going to be the first year of 54 that I will celebrate Mother’s Day without my mother. She passed away on March 26th and her presence in my life is missed every day. My father passed 2 years ago and I invited mom to live with me. It was such a special time; I got to live with my mom again but this time getting know her more as an adult woman, not as my mother. I thank God every day for all the years I shared with her and know in my heart she is with Him and happier than ever. Happy Mother’s Day!
I watched the video and cried. I do not remember being that kind of Mom. I don’t remember dancing in the rain with my son or pillow fights or even playing. What kind of Mother was I anyway? Was I too old, too hurting, too whatever kind of excuse you can come up with? I stole all that from my son. No wonder he is so needy in his 30s. Lord forgive me, please. I am truly sorry
My dear sweet Momma has been gone from this earth for 6 years now. She fought a HARD, 11 year battle with cancer. She was the strongest woman I have ever known and my absolute best friend. She was my “person”!! My life changed drastically the day she was called home…I wouldn’t want her to come back to the pain and heartache of this world but I sure would love to hug her one more time. Happy Mother’s Day in heaven Momma.
My mother died 5 years ago and my heart sill hurts. But I am so grateful for her and if I can be just half the mother she was to my daughter and grandmother to my two grandchildren then I will be happy.
My mother left this earth four years ago. She left us emotionally and relationally many years before. I mourned the ‘loss’ of my mother for years even as I tried to piece together the shards of our relationship, often being cut anew.
10 years, two quirky, beautiful, smart, loud, messy boys later, I understand her so much better. I realize how brave she was to travel internationally alone, with two small children, to a nation whose language and people were so different than her own.
I see her bottomless energy in keeping a home and always being the chaperone.
I see her innate faith in her children. Though she never fully understood the actor and the activist she birthed, she always chose a front seat for our journey.
Her body eventually became as broken as she was emotionally, as if breathing in the bitterness and unforgiveness seared her lungs. I can still feel her skeletal frame as I wrapped my arms around her in that cold and darkened hospital room. “We are okay, right?” she said, hope and vulnerability in her eyes.
I can now answer that question.
“Yes, Mom. We are okay.”
What an inspiration! There are so many women who come asking for prayer and searching for peace over relationships with their Mother’s. That’s a void we long to fill. I pray that God speaks into the lives of all that struggle with the loss of their mother either by death, forfeit, conflict or whatever the situation maybe, that He is their healer! Thank you for the beautiful words!
Thank you for such a meaningful and sweet post. What a beautiful way to look at something so many people are so angry and resentful over. I lost my grandmothers less than 2 months apart and it was devastating. One to a massive stroke and one to Alzheimer’s disease. I still have my mother but am noticing small signs of Alzheimer’s on-set so I try to remind myself to not take any time with her for granted and I pray for God to allow me to love her well. I don’t have any kids yet but of how my soul longs for the day that God will bless my husband and I with a baby that has been entrusted in our hands in order to help raise up to glorify The King and make much of his name. This Mother’s Day will be a special one for me as I am in such a sweet spot with the Lord right now and am really praying to see more and more through the lenses of His eyes. Things are brighter, clearer and are more meaningful and beautiful. Thank you for the great reminder for those of us that have experienced loss, neglect, the absence of a mother, and who are not yet mothers. What a blessing! Happy early Mother’s Day to everyone, no matter your circumstance.. you are a child of the one true God and you cannot be plucked from His hand. Rejoice in that!
Thank you so much for your touching writings, Lisa Jo. I feel your pain and loss.
Just hold on to the hope of seeing your Mother again someday!
Create your own memories for your children to remember you by when
someday they will be w/out you! Cherish every day! Happy Mothers Day!
I just lost my mom on February 22nd. She had the softest hands. It sure makes it hard as I pick out Mother’s Day cards for my daughter and daughter in law. No momma to buy a card for, but I can still honor her!
My mom loved to laugh. It’s been 30 years and my memories of the mind are all but gone. The memory in my heart aches daily as I lovingly raise my two boys. Two grandsons she would live and spoil.
I am blessed at 40 years old to still have my mother with me. What a beautiful message for all moms and I look forward to sharing this with friends.
I miss having that one person who knew me better than anyone else and therefore understood me. Other than God, I don’t think anyone else has ever known me like she did, nor cared like she did.
I’ve thought some of these same thoughts many times over the 19 years that my mother has been gone….every graduation, Christmas, wedding, and birth as well as in those everyday moments when her dry humor would emerge. I see her in the expressions of grandchildren she never knew and the great grandchildren she never held. I imagine the twinkle in her eye every time I see a cat slink across the yard and can only guess at what scheme she might have devised to keep them out of her flower beds. I’m reminded of her when I see the pictures of radiant brides wearing the simple pearl necklace my dad gave her on her wedding day. I miss the wisdom, the humor and the companionship that I so took for granted. but I look forward to the day when I will see her again!
Thank you for this post. I lost my beautiful mother almost two years ago. I am 51 years old and still want my Momma. My husband and I weren’t blessed with any children – I was pregnant once, but lost the baby. Mother’s Day has gotten especially hard for me since my Mom passed away. Thank you for reminding me of how much God loves me. I needed it.
This article is so real and heartfelt. I am so thankful for christian sisters who allow themselves to be open for the benefit of others. I am a homeschooling mother of two and I pray everyday that God pours into me what I need to lead and guide my kids. I have told them, above everything they are taught, the one thing I want for them is that they seek God with all their hearts everyday of their lives. That would make this mother’s heart sing with joy!
I am a motherless mother for 1 year now. My mother went to heaven Christmas Eve. She was 94 and I was 61 but you never quite get over the loss of your mother at any age. Three weeks ago I lost my oldest and closest friend to cancer. She leaves 2 motherless grown daughters. In trying to be a support to them it brings back all of the past year of losing my mother. Every day and every occasion coming up is a 1st without your Mom and there is pain and the feeling of loss as well as joy that these two beautiful women are now with Jesus – no doubt! Mom and Shirley we are all ok and thank you for the lives you shared with us.
This was beautifully written. I am still crying as I write this. It has been 13 years since I lost my mother and I still feel as though a large piece of my heart is missing, yet it still beats. Everyday I look at my son, I want to call her and tell her the amazing, silly, ridiculous things he has done, knowing she would want to know every detail. I dread Mother’s Day every year, desperately not wanting to go to the church service that I know will cause me so much pain but I know God will carry me through it yet again. He has brought me this far.
It is well with my soul is such a special song to me and Psalm 56:8 is a special verse as well. There have been a few times I wondered if God has run short on bottles to hold my tears. But I am so thankful for his comfort and peace in those times! Thank you for sharing your journey. I have several friends who long to be mothers and wonder how to help them during Mothers Day. I will share this song and verse along with prayers for them. Thank you again!
What a beautiful tribute to moms everywhere! Thanks so much for sharing and Happy Mother’s Day!
My Mom passed away when I was 18. She never saw me marry and divorce and marry again. Never saw me have children of my own. In the moments when I want to run to her I have to content myself with memories. Being a motherless daughter/mother is the hardest job I will ever do. It. It amazes me how in times of struggle when I want to scream and run away that God provides things like this blog. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. It reminded me that although my mother is no longer here, I am not alone. In the battle of motherhood through triumph and failure others stand beside me. We are mothers, we are strong, and most of all we are loved! Thank you for the encouragement and validation.
Beautiful! My mother went to be with The Lord 7 years ago shortly after my 50th birthday.
Still missing her especially at this time of year .
Blessed peace to all those who are without their mom. And what joy there will be when we see them again!
I downloaded and read the first three chapters of Lisa-Jo’s new book. They were great. What a beautiful giveaway you are offering.
Wow! What a great article! Thanks for sharing!
My mom went home to be with Jesus two years ago this September. This past month has been extremely difficult, missing her for some reason … April 25 would have been her 62nd birthday … Praise God she is no longer in pain and the tumors in her head are gone!! And thank you Lord for blessing me with the perfect mom for me …
Love my mom! She’s 85+ and slipping away, that thing age does to one. My turn to mother her. I’m grateful.
I love encouraging books that are written for mothers. I lost my mother when I was sixteen. We had a strained relationship when she got sick and then she died within a few months…So many times I wished she had been here…I have looked to older women in the church from which to learn how to be a wife and mother. I have girlfriends whom I laugh with and we encourage each other in our Christian walk but it has been hard. SO thank you for writing to and for mothers!
I lost my mother in October of last year. Although I am beyond blessed with three girls of my own (who absolutely love tea parties), I dread mother’s day this year so much. This post made me cry. i want to talk to her, hold her, kiss her one more time. Where does the time go? Cherish every EVERY second you have with your loved ones. You never know when it will be your last.
This sounds like such a good book. I would like to win one to read and then share with my mom.
I am lucky to still have my mom. I am looking forward to someday being a grandma.
Because my mom and her sister had lost their mom, my amazing grandma, years earlier when my own first born, a daughter, was new, soon after my mom left this life I asked Aunt Donna if it gets easier with time. She told me it gets easier, but still hardly a day will pass that she doesn’t wish she could sit across the kitchen and talk to her mom. Momma had breast cancer and finally left us just before the new century came, right after a big hurricane hit the area where she and Daddy lived in South Texas. She was always very in touch with nature; I felt like all of nature was objecting to her leaving when that hurricane hit. I know she would have loved to stay. And now like my Aunt Donna, hardly a day passes that I don’t wish I could sit across the kitchen table and talk with my mom . . . about anything, everything, her grands, her great grands, show her how we hung the pictures on the walls, ask her how she put up with us some days, ask her the name of the flower down the road. She would know. Gee, I miss my mom.
Thank you for this post. I had a tubular pregnancy that burst. I was only given five percent chance to live and God brought me through that. I wasn’t able to have any children. Mother’s Day is hard for me. Because people come up to me and say Happy Mother’s Day and it hurts to the core because I’m not a mother. I wanted children so much.I am thankful for my nieces and those kids that are in my life at church.God had a purpose and plan for my life and being a mother wasn’t in his plan for my life.Happy Mother’s Day to all of You that are Mother’s. God Bless You Everyone,Barbara
I’m 43 years old. I’m a wife, mother, and grandmother. And I’m so thankful to still have a happy, healthy, Godly mother!!! Your message today certainly made me realize how very blessed I am to have her!!! Thank you for sharing!!
Hi Lisa Jo, your post is very touching. I am blessed to still have my mother but we have not always been close. I take her for granted much of the time and your post makes me realize how precious she is. She has been there for all of those milestones and now many of my children’s. Thank you for reminding me to tell her!
Blessings
So grateful to have a mother who raised me in Him. So grateful to be a mother of teenagers and raise them in Him.
Loved this reminder that Mother’s Day looks different for everyone! For some it is a joyful day, for some it can be very sad. This will be my 1st Mother’s Day without my mom. It leaves an empty place in my heart. At the same time I know I will love spending time with my four kids. So thankful to have them in my life!!
My mother has also passed away………will soon be 11 years now. She also taught me to trust in God and she was in my eyes a “saint”. I miss her everyday still; but am so happy that she is enjoying her life now in heaven.
The understanding I now have of my Mother’s strength for life has blossomed as my years as a mother scrolls on…God has used my loss of her to further open my eyes. I appreciate her work more with each passing day!
Looking forward to reading this book….43 and remembering how hard it is to have a 5 & 7 year old!! We have 3 bio kids …23, 21 & 19…adopted 2 boys from Haiti who have been forever home only 5 months!!!
Donna, thank you for taking on the Orphans. You are truly blessed. I know how hard it is sometimes as a lot of these Kiddos have real mental issues and I pray for all adopted parents and adoptees.
This page is very touching. My mother is a motherless daughter. My grandma died when my mother was 11. While raising us kids, I became rebellious and out of hand. While she was lecturing me and crying she would say ” You have your mother, I didn’t”. I am 40 years old and I have my own 3 beautiful daughters and I guess up to now I really did give much thought to my mother not having her mother around.
Thanks for the reminder 🙂
I lost my mom almost 14 years ago, 2 years before I and my 2 brothers added baby girls to our families of boys. When we all had girls, I was so sad that she was missing out on her granddaughters and they their grandma. One older lady at church innocently gave me a new perspective. She didn’t know the deep sadness I was feeling. She admired my baby girl and said, “I’m so glad you had a girl since you lost your mom. You get to still enjoy that mother daughter relationship.” What a gift those words were. They totally changed my thoughts. My kids lost all their grandparents early and unexpectedly. Cherish those relationships!
If we get the chance to be grandmothers we can demonstrate our love and commitment to our children ( once again) and grandchild as well as change the things we wished we had done differently.
This post brought tears to my eyes. Mother’s Day is the hardest one for me. For two of my sisters it is our Mom’s birthday or the day of her passing twelve years ago. But for me it is Mother’s Day. Our Mom was a friend to her five daughters as we grew into young women and such an inspiration that we miss dearly. Her spiritual legacy has been passed on from her mom, through herself, to her five daughters, through her only grandaughter and now beginning though her great granddaughters. Her grandaughter is a missionary in West Africa and I know my Mom is in heaven watching over her and her family as they minister for the Lord and extend this legacy into another country.
I am a motherless mother. I have very few memories of my mother from before my third birthday. As I grew I knew there was part of me missing as I navigated the perils and joys of a lonely angry childhood. With a father who mostly ignored me, I learned morals and values from the television and the few teachers who took notice. For a long time I was angry that she would abandon me to this life alone, until after my fathers death I held the anger and hurt for her close to my heart. I learned from my reunited maternal family the he was the who abused and drove her away to her untimely death. I read the court documents and police reports to prove it. Now as a mother to three beautiful children I find myself wishing I could tell her how sorry I am for the way my heart treated her all those years. I want to tell her how my twins are strong and beautiful and joyful. I want to tell her how her granddaughter looks like her mother and scrunches up her face just like her Granny. I want to tell her how the kids are natural readers and can do math faster than I ever could. I want to ask her advice instead of Googling issues I’m having. I want… I want… I want her to still be here because I need her.
Thank you very much for your Motherless Mother post today. I wept.
I was *just* thinking how much I hate this time of year, when all of the “Hurry up and buy a gift for your mom for Mother’s Day” e-mails and ads are appearing everywhere. Lost my mom two and a half years ago when she was 59.
Love Lisa-Jo, her words, her encouragement, her ministry. Love the tea set. And tea. 😉 Thanks for hosting this giveaway!
i still have my mom, and am blessed each day that she is still here. she will be 89 in a few days.
Lost my mom 6 years ago. “Motherless”…. has such a deafening sound. Just something about mom’s that words can’t describe.
This is such a lovely post. I am the mother of 3 little boys and one in heaven. I am so blessed to be a mother. I also still have my mom and my MIL around. I love them dearly and treasure our time together. This made me think about a friend of mine who lost her mother yesterday at a very young age (around 50). I will be praying for her during this very difficult time of year and for all those who do not have children or have lost a child or their own mother. I lost a child 2 years ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through.
Thanks for hosting this giveaway. What a special treat!
The Mother’s Day for the Motherless Mother article was beautifully written. Another group of women that struggle with Mother’s Day is the abortion wounded. I myself, am part of that group. Please remember to pray for us as we lean on God to help us find healing and are given permission to grieve the children we will never hold this side of heaven.
What a sweet post that hit home. I have 3 littles that my Mom never met. I miss her a lot, but especially miss being a mother with her around. And seeing her be a fantastic grandmother.
Motherless Mother. My mom died 3 months before my first child was born. She was a terrific grandmother to my sister’s children, and I think I have grieved the most that my children will miss out on that.
Thanks Lysa for having a heart to address this issue that many women face. I am a motherless mother in that my own mom passed away in 1999. I think of her and miss her every day. I am sort of a “Motherless Mom” in that my daughter, who is married. lives far away from me. She is a very strong woman and for that I am grateful. Some have complimented me that I taught her well. She loves the Lord and for that I am glad. We have a challenged relationship and I am sometimes jealous of her relationship with her mother-in-law. But God helps me through it and I know we love each other. God bless you.
Thank you for the reminder… to stop and remember to give a sister a (hug).
Thank you for your post today. It will be 10 years this Dec. 21, that I lost my mother to colon cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her and miss her. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother. I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day!
My mom has been gone for 7 1/2 years. Even though I had her with me most of my life, as an only child when I lost her, I lost my best friend. Not only left a big hole in my heart, but in my life as well. The last 10 plus years she lived with the disabilities caused by a massive stroke and was dependent on me and my dad. I became the mother and she the child. Even then our deep love for each other never faltered, a bond only a mother and daughter can understand.
As my two beautiful children have entered into highschool & junior high (the oldest being my girl, the other my boy), I’ve come to realize just how unprepared my heart really was for this “season”. Thank you for the reminder that I am “mom”, NOT God. Wow (3 times)!! Although this seems a simple concept, it’s reality escaped me. Truly, I see new facets of myself each day where my kids are concerned. My calling & anointing for this calling are two things I’ve found myself discovering anew with each day. Thank you for sharing the 10 prayers~I will start fresh & keep it simple, in TRUST for the One Who actually IS God. 🙂
This would be a great book to have, read, and share with my friends who are also mothers. Thanks for this blog today. I needed to hear it.
Thank you!
This book sounds amazing. I was brought to tears watching the book preview. I have four children two biological and two adopted. The challenges arise every day as they do for all mothers. But it is worth every second!
Would love to read this book!! Your words inspire me!! I thank God for my mother. God bless you!
It’s hard to believe it’s been 23 years since my mother died at age 56. There have been SO many questions I’ve wanted to ask her as I’ve raised my children, and so many events I would love to celebrate with her. Those days have an element of pain in them.
But by far the most painful memory is that I wasn’t a believer when she died, and she died an unbeliever. Because God uses everything, her death was the catalyst that caused me to seek out Christ, which I feel sure would please her. Had she been alive when I came to Christ, I’m confident she, too, would have made him Lord of her life, as we were very close, and it would have influenced her dramatically.
Love your mothers, ladies, and enjoy the moments!!
Today is especially tugging my mommy heart strings; I am struggling to enjoy the joyful, playful, rough chaos of raising three children ages 5 and under. Grace is missing in my responses to them and my heart is breaking. I love being a mother. My prayers these days are for God to help me to stop the worldly, unrealistic expectations; to live in the present; to make magic with the ordinary; to give myself a break; and to mostly show the love of Christ to my beautiful, fun-loving, and tender children. Thank you Lisa-Jo for sharing your experience!
I am grateful to still have my Mom to celebrate on Mother’s Day although we do have emotional and physical distance between us. I would love to be selected for this giveaway to be able to give it to her. As an only child she was so very close to her mother and she struggles still with the birthdays and Mother’s Days she no longer gets to celebrate with her mother who passed away 18 years ago. She loves to read and I think she would greatly treasure this book. She also loves tea, so this would be an all around great gift for her.
Even though my Mother is alive, she lives so
far away. She moved to Florida back in the
1990’s. I talk to Her on the phone, but there
is nothing like a hug and kiss. My 3 Granddaughters
have not grown up close to Her , even though she has come up to see us-it’s not the same. My Mom felt that
loss of closeness after her Dad died and she got remarried. It is painful to love someone so dearly and have their presence taken away. To have a Mom is a Blessing:) She gave of herself unselfishly, for many years. Our dear ones that have passed, they are alive and receiving their reward in Heaven. We should be happy that if we have asked Jesus into our hearts-we will be with them for an Eternatey; and for that I am grateful. It is well with my soul.
Lisa-Jo your words are always so encouraging. My heart breaks for you as you face another Mother’s day motherless. I feel the guilt in my heart as my mother is still here, but I struggle in celebrating her. She was never my supporter, I never felt her love instead her yelling, condemning and the simple I am just not worth anything. My dad was the opposite, and he loved me, but now is gone to be with Jesus. And I have held these feelings in all these years, but I cannot anymore because it hurts too much. And I see the pain in the eyes of my daughters as they now bear the same from her. And I don’t know how to protect them. And I am cry for my mother for what she misses in these two beautiful gifts. And I pray God changes my heart. I pray for someone to fill in the gaps.
I can relate to what Lisa-Jo wrote. I lost my mom 19 years ago. There is so much I’d like tell her, I still miss her every day.
Thank you for this beautiful post. I am still wiping the tears.
My mother and I never really had a close relationship, and it deeply saddens me. I was extremely close to my father, but after his death (almost 13 years ago), I had to get to know this woman who raised me despite the lack of true connection. Now I’m a mother of 3 beautiful children, and they truly love their grandmother…which brings me to want to get to know her even more. There’s power in carrying a legacy of faith and love through the generations, and I want that to be intact for years to come. I would love to win this book! I’ve been wanting to read it ever since it came out. And it would be a good tool and gift for my mom as well! 🙂
This was AMAZING! I laughed and cried at the same time. It has been 12 years since I lost my mother and the song that she left us with was “…Trust and obey, for there is no other way; to be happy in Jesus–But to trust and obey…” She would be so proud to know that we are still trusting and obeying Jesus and she left a wonderful legacy.
Thank you for these wonderful words of encouragement. I too bare the scars of a mother who has chosen not to be involved in my life or the lives of my children. It’s hard sometimes, but God has put other women in my life that have filled some of those empty places and for that I am thankful.
Wow. This post touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes…not necessarily for myself, since I’m not a motherless mother…but for my own mom. My grandmother passed away a few years back and was never able to meet my baby sister.
Thank you so much.
Rejoicing in the Lives of Barbara Sneed Merritt, and her Best Friend – Myrtle Ruth Griffin… my Mother,, Barbara, went to be with Jesus in 1963 when I was 10 yrs old… Myrtle Ruth was an Amazing “Second Mom” to me attending all my graduations, 2 childbirths, numerous special events for my two sons – Grandparent’s Day/Church Musicals/Eagle Scout/Graduations etc… (on most of these occasions she, and her precious husband, Sonny, were the first to arrive for the events…) Myrtle Ruth’ loved Jesus, and her Wisdom/Life Experiences were invaluable to me… Example: I am an RN with a Master’s degree… And went “Totally Blank” when my youngest asked me about the “birds & bees”… “just a minute, Matthew” as I scrambled to call Myrtle Ruth from the next room… She replied: “Do U have a children’s science book with pictures of body parts?”… Myrtle Ruth had 6 children of her own, and managed to radiate God’s Eternal Love to me, and countless others… Last August, Myrtle Ruth entered into GLORY… I Thank GOD for Barbara, and Myrtle Ruth… He was so Generous to give me 2 Mothers, who as my Dad would say, are “Better than Excellent”
2 “Better than Excellent” Mothers…
Great article. Sometimes it’s hard to express what is going on in your head. I lost my mom Three years ago. It is really hard around holidays. Knowing how they used to be and now trying to create new memories. It’s hard knowing that she won’t be here to see her grand daughters grow up. Won’t see them walk down the aisle. Miss her so much.
I lost my mother 10 years ago in May and I miss her everyday. All the big life events, wedding and 2 beautiful babies, have sadness mixed with the joy. I try each day to give my girls the love, lessons and memories that I cherish from my Mom. I hope that someday I they will know and love their grandparents through my memories and stories. They are both too young to understand. May is a very hard month for me.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your sensitivity to those who struggle with the Mother’s Day holiday. As a barren women this holiday reminds me of the pleasure I have missed even in the tough task of being a Mom. But I rejoice in my savior because He has used this sorrow in my life to bring me to Him! He has indeed filled my life with His love and has fulfilled His promise in Isaiah 54:1 Sing, O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem, you who have never been in labor. For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who lives with her husband,” says the Lord. My husband and I have fostered 22 young boys!
Thank you to all the Moms who care for their children. Comfort to those who have lost their own Mom and miss her so. Love to those who would love to be a Mom and can’t like me. Joyous Mother’s Day to all.
This was such a touching post.
It will be 5 years this July that my mom passed away from lung cancer. Being an only child and living 6 hrs away, God worked out all the details to have my mom stay with me the last 3 years of her life while she had her treatments and then her house during the treatment breaks until she could no longer be alone. God worked out amazing friendships with several of my neighbors in which she had the greater impact on them and how she handled her trials with God’s grace. She was a believer and a true blessing and I miss her so very much. It is hard to believe it has been 5 years already. Your blog brought tears to my eyes! Thank you and God bless!
It is well with my soul (Brandon Heath version) is one of my current music obsessions and this weekend this very book by Lisa-Jo Baker was recommended to me so now I have to get this whether I win it or not though it would be great to win the book.
I grew up with a mother who was emotionally unavailable to us 7 children .
I became a mother at 16 years old (now 50) and seeing how much I Love my children, I always struggled with ” Why couldn’t my mom Love me the way I Love my babies”
She left this Earth 10 years ago and I never really quite got my answers …Other than
” She Loved you the best she Could ” !!
My Lord has Blessed me with 2 children and 5 Grandchildren Whom I Show and Tell them Every Day How Loved They Are… Happy Early Mothers Day 🙂
Thank you for sharing this post, even though I still have my mom the past few years since my dad’s passing have been really hard on our relationship. Love the tea set and would love to read the book! 🙂
My Mama went to be with the Lord on February 5, 2013. I miss her dearly. She was 90 years young and would have celebrated her 91st birthday on Feb. 12, 2013. Mama was so wonderful. I have 2 sisters. I was a surprise, as at 40 years young, Mama went to the doctor because she thought she was sick with the flu or virus. But, no, she was pregnant with me. She told the story of how she cried when the doctor told her she was expecting a baby. But, the doctor told her that we would have a special kind of relationship and yes, the doctor was right. Mama and Daddy and I were extremely close. I miss them so much. Daddy passed away on Easter Sunday in 1998. I was blessed with wonderful parents.
Wonderful words. I don’t know the loss of a mother but the loss of a child. What great blessings God has given me even through the loss. He is writing my story and the journey makes it mine.
I have been blessed with an amazing mother. She, unfortunately, had a mean and vindictive mother who broke her heart many times over. My mother now considers herself motherless. I will share this post with her.
Loved this. Makes one want to cry when you don’t have your mom anymore. Mine has been gone for 18 years and I still miss her.
Thanks for sharing
Wow! This says so much! My mom has been gone for 11 years. Sometimes it seems longer…sometimes shorter. I remember her last Mother’s Day when I got her roses but she was too sick to care. I have adult children now and sometimes I wish she was here to see the babies come. Sometimes I’m glad she has been spared the pain as when, in November we lost my niece (Her first grandchild) of pneumonia. As with life, there are joys and sorrows. I try to remember the good times. My Dad died 8 months before my Mom, so Father’s Day is hard, too. Their birthdays were May 26 and 27, so the spring is a little tough for my family. Thankful we had them as long as we did and that spring reminds us of new birth and the wonder of what Christ did for us. He bore our sins and He bears our sorrows! Hallelujah!
I am a mother of four. Two of which are in heaven. One because of a miscarriage the other my wonderful, indescribable son Jacob who committed suicide two weeks to the day of turning 21. He was my heart and still is. I have two beautiful daughters that I am so thankful to have. I also visit the grave of my mom who died in 1993. She was such a funny, loving Mother. She is missed.
My mom passed away in December of 2012, when I was 17. My world was centered around her. Losing her was pretty much the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. But God is good. He has given me a new family, with a mom who loves me just as my mom did, even though she just met me 3 years ago. I do get sad when I think of my mom not going to be here for my wedding, or when I have her grand babies, but I know that one day we will see her in heaven with our perfect lord Jesus.
Thank you! Words I know all too well. Miss my mother every day for the past 9 years.
Good and Blessed Morning to you Lysa,
I want to thank you so much for writing this. My mom passed away last May 23, 2013, so not only is the first Mother’s Day coming too soon that I shall be without her but also the day of her passing. I am blessed knowing that she is with our Heavenly Father however the pain is more intense than I could have ever imagined. I lost my dad when I was 13 years old (surrounded by sexual abuse by him so the feelings and memories are touched by shame, regret and hurt) so needless to say, this is nothing to losing my mom. There is a lot of heartache that surrounds my moms passing which compounds it as well. In such different ways.
I am so thankful for my 3 children, especially since one of my daughters’ is literally a carbon copy of my mom but they all 3 hold and carry along traits from her. Some days it is still hard just to wake up and get going, other days/nights I’m still in tears, and some days I feel guilty because even though the day feels lighter I am plagued with guilt for having a better day and regret things I should have said…did. My mom and I were very close but she chose not to seek medical help since I was born ( I will be 40 in September) and her health was bad but we never knew for sure with what. She was a loving mom, grandma but always longed to be with Jesus.I finally got her to agree to go into the ER after so many months of caring for her and her to the point of her not being able to walk. This was especially hard and heart breaking to watch and do since she was so over the top independent. That day was April 15, 2013. I was left to making all her health care choices financial, etc…. because at times she was unresponsive. She was in ICU twice, PCU twice and was never able to even walk again. The Lord ended her care in a Nursing home and despite being told she is fine and will go home after treatment….I felt deep down she was not but just wanted her to get better. She never wanted to even go seek medical treatment. She didn’t want to be in the nursing home but they were giving her care I could no longer do. I regret not taking her back home where she wanted to be and have Hospice however I wrestled with the fact medical Dr’s. and such kept insisting she would recover. I feel I will always be torn over this. April came and went then the first half of May, then she was gone…. but with so much left undone, unsaid. I got the call that morning that she was leaving us but because I live 45 minutes away I wasn’t able to be with her when she left. I was there by her side every day and only left to come home at evening to take care of my family. I regret leaving her side at all however nightly she would tell me to ” go home and take care of your family”: with a weak smile. I am grateful for the time I did have with her. She was a very devoted, loving, caring, mom saved by Grace. I just wish she would have wanted to be healthy all my life to be with us. I know her time was not our own but God’s but her quality of life could have been so much better…for that I am saddened. Thank you for letting me share and May God bless you abundantly for posting something that touches the broken hearts of so many.
Many prayers and thanks to you!
God Bless
Jeanette W.
I lost my Mom last month. I’m still trying to process it all. She was 63 and I’m in my early 40’s but she’d been sick for at least 15 years her health just seem to get worse. The hard part about all this is my Dad died 19 years ago so I’m truly feeling this loss deeply. 40 years old and both my parents are gone. I am a Motherless Mother and I’m an adult orphan. Which is ironic since my husband and I have been called to serve orphans and to adopt. This mother’s day is going to be hard! I miss her so much especially since the last few years had been rocky. I’m thankful for the time we had, just wish there’d been more. I love you Momma! ♥♥♥♥♥
Wow. Just wow. I am writing a piece about having never had a mother and figuring out mothering. It is taking months to write because this subject is so real and raw. The number one thing I have accomplished so far in my life is being a mom to my two daughters. That they will never know what it is like to not have unconditional love in your life.
Thank you for this. Thank you for making it so beautiful.
I feel the approach of yet another Mother’s Day. My Mom died in 2000. She knew my daughter, but she did not see the amazing young woman she grew into. I feel the loss. I’m so sorry I was not a better daughter-but I am trying to be a really good Mom. Even though my daughter is grown-she is still my baby. I wish Mom could see that baby now. And me-there is so much I need to say to her. I think I will leave it at Thank you for being my Mom.
Lysa, and Lisa-Jo-a Hug would be much appreciated-even a cyber one.:)
I’m reading this as I anxiously wait in the hospital following my mom’ surgery. The older I get, the more I realize how much I still need my mommy, even as I’m 50 and she’s 80 years of age. Over the years, our relationship has evolved and changed. One thing remains constant, though, our never ending love for one another. My mommy makes me laugh through the tears. She’s my rock and I’m fortunate to still have her in my life.
My mother has dementia and I know it is only a matter of time until she won’t know who I am anymore. I pray for strength as her caregiver, and grace as she says things I know she doesn’t mean. I pray that my daughter will pray for these things if she ever has to take care of me in the same way. Three adult women, the same yet different, with God and love the binding force.
I lost my mom when I was 22, I’m 36 now, married and have 3 amazing boys. I was very moved and blessed by this that I sent it to my sister who will soon be a mommy for the first time this winter. I know she will experience the same thoughts and emotions I went through when I had my first baby. You never get over the pain or loss and the big events In your life always seem to strike that cord, but I’m reassured by my heavenly Father that I am not alone and he comes in and fills those gaps. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.
Thank you! What a blessing this was.
My mother turned 81 years old yesterday and it breaks my heart that she can’t get around as well as she used to. Although even now we grow closer each day because I take care of those needs that she can’t handle, I take her to the store, to church and Bible Study, the doctors office and through all of this we have grown so very close. I praise the Lord that I still have her.
What a touching post. I have a wonderful Mother. But just married a month ago yesterday and am realizing that I may be a Mommy someday soon since I’m married now which is a bit frightning but also incredible thought. I do look forward to being a Mom & pray I’ll be a great one as my husband & I raise the next generation for Christ. I’d love to read the new book. Crazy to think that besides marriage books; parenting ones may be next. Blessings to you all & Happy Mothers Day!!! <3
This rings so true. Thank you for being so tender and allowing all of us mothers – who try so hard to keep it together and keep everyone going – a place to sit for a minute and cry and remember. I miss my mom terribly. I had her for 30 wonderful years. It’s been 2 since she died of pancreatic cancer. I know exactly who I’m going to share this post with. It is wonderful.
Thank you for this post…. I still have my Mom and I’m thankful.I wish that I would of known then what I have learned now. I’m a mother of seven and this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done and most days I feel like I’m not doing it right. Your posts encourage me more then you’ll ever know! Thank you so much! God bless you.
I lost my Mom back in 2009. We were at odds for several years and I had learned about forgiveness and invited her back into my life just 4 months before her death. She never got to meet my 2nd son and I felt guilty about that. Mother’s day is difficult for me every year. Although I rejoice in being the mother 2 two amazing miracles, I struggle because of the loss of my Mom.
Thank you for this timely post; balm for the soul-ache.
This is the first Mother’s Day that I’ll be spending away from my mom. My husband is in the military, and though we live only four hours from home, finances just aren’t going to work out to get us there. I’m thankful for the technology we have now so I can talk to her at least. It’s kinda hard being away from her, seeing as how I’m pregnant with a child of my own. I’m just thankful for the time I do have to talk with her and be with her, especially throughout this whole “becoming-a-mommy” process!
Hello! I am grateful for this post because it never struck me that Mother’s Day could be a trial for many — women and men (I feel very embarrassed for that). I am going to think of every person in my life, family and friends, who might find the day difficult and do something for her/him. Thank you for the tender insight and heartfull wisdom.
As I write this I write it slowly, with such a heavy heart, with the weight of grief on my back. I have a mother. She is alive, physically well, drives, works, and she lives less than an hour from me. Her life is a litany of disappointments, heartbreak, broken relationships. She has no idea (or is it no desire?) how to move forward other than to embrace her brokenness, feed it, nurture her bitterness…and so I grieve, my sister grieves. It is of course way more complicated and complex than I can put here and spans decades but I read this post with the hard reality that I am a motherless mother. My sister and I are both happily/healthily married (both of us for 16 yrs), both with 2 children–she got the girls, I got the boys–and we have both been blessed with the gift of inlaws who love us unconditionally, and love our children deeply. Our mother finds no joy in us, our relationships, or our children. And so I grieve…and moan…and I thank you for your words of solace, of comfort, a balm of validation. Thank you.
I cried through Lisa Jo’s whole letter. Where in the world did all of those tears come fromI?? Thanks so much. God brought a little more healing today that I didn’t even know I needed.
I am my mother’s daughter….and I wish I would have danced with my own sons more (I love her. She didn’t do fun things with me)…..done more silly stuff with my own sons (I love her. She was so serious)…..laid off the hard stuff so much-grades, performance, behavior with my two sons (I love her and thought I had to perform to gain her love).
Oh Jesus, forgive me for not loving them the way you love me, with that lavish, silly, deep unconditional love.
Dear Mom, your oldest grandson looks like my husband, but is really spunky and strong-willed like us. His face looks like daddy. Your youngest is a gentle giant like my husband, but looks like us–so muscular. And, mom, I wish you knew that I understand why you drank. I am really proud of you for kicking the habit, albeit too late for you to be here to meet my husband and your grands. I want you to know i REALLY miss you. I REALLY love you. Thank you for raising me.
My mom and dad divorced when I was a senior in college. My mom was so desperate for attention that she fell for the first man she found on the internet and moved 600 miles away from home to be with him. She told me that she had spent 26 years taking care of everybody else and she was done and it was her time. She was done being my mother. I was heartbroken, and our relationship has never fully recovered. I miss the relationship we were supposed to have as adults. I miss the relationship that she was supposed to have with my sons. She has turned her back on Jesus because her husband doesn’t believe. I promise never to make my children feel like I am done being their mother. My prayer for my mom is that she can see past herself and find her way back to Jesus. I know that his hand is on this and that my heart and hers will be healed.
This touched me, as I will be facing a difficult Mother’s Day. My 20-year-old son has been home on leave from the military. But the day before Mother’s Day he is leaving for a two year assignment in Japan. All I can say is I needed this message today.
Beautifully stated & so thankful for this post. I too am a motherless mother. My mom passed away when my son was 4 months old, my dad & my husband’s father prior to his conception. We are still blessed with my mother in law. In each milestone or everyday moment, it is bittersweet for my husband, me, & our son. We cling to faith knowing we don’t have all the answers but know fath, hope, & love are greater. These things bring peace & comfort. When I get sad or angry knowing they aren’t with us to share in special memories, I give thanks for grace in each circumstance. After all, He has me here on this Earth for a reason. He has given me a gift to experience life as a mother, wife, & many other roles. I am learning there is no greater joy knowing who lives on & through us. I am thankful he chose my parents to raise me. Between experiencing life with them & growing in faith, It makes me who I am, builds my character daily, & empowers me to share my testimony.
Thank you so much for this beautifully written piece. My Mom died 8 years ago today and I miss her do much at times. I have one daughter who got to know and love my Mom and her Mamaw taught her do much. Thank you again.
I am mother-less and father-less so I call myself an orphan. Mothers’ day and Fathers’ day are especially hard for me.
My precious mom died after a 7-year struggle with metastasized breast cancer and then a horrible stroke, when I was barely 17. I am now 47 and still feel the very painful loss so much. This past year has been a hard one, as I have now surpassed her in age. She was a wonderful mother. A beloved, awesome 4th grade teacher. She was everything to me, and I have some idea of the depths of my Father’s love to me because He chose to allow her to be taken. I consider the loss of her a mark of God’s love to me. I’m so thankful for those 17 years with her. I have long forgotten the sound of her laughter, but well remember her love. And God’s bottle of my tears is getting a few more today.
http://justcamping.blogspot.ca/2013/04/a-beautiful-lady.html
There is a sweet woman at my church named Susan who just lost her mother a year ago. I would love to give her a teacup! She helps me with my kids because my mom lives out of town and is just a sweet woman that I would love to bless thir Mother’s Day.
My mother went home to be with the Lord July 16, 1992. She was 54, the age I am writing this today! I still miss her every day. It was often hard to see how I would get through the great struggles that would come about in my life, without her by my side encouraging me like only she could. I did. Maybe not as easy as I would have had she been here, but, I did. Truth is, she didn’t intend to leave me, but, she did. I have conceded that her days written in His book were up and it was her appointed time to leave this Earth to be with Him. Through the years, I have learned to depend on Jesus who promises to never leave me. I don’t have to understand to trust Him, walk with Him and know to the center of my soul that I can do all things because He makes me strong. I am grateful beyond words and I cherish my beautiful Savior. And, I have learned that it’s ok that I will always miss my mother.
Such a touching post. I lost my mother when I was 11 and a year later my father passed away as well. I am now 32 years old with 3 kids. I thank God everyday for all the blessings in my life! Thank you for sharing.
My mother died 12years ago in an accident. I was driving the car & she and my sister were killed. Another sister & myself were in serious condition. I was in a coma for 2 months and did not even know Mother and Linda had died until more than 2 months after. It still makes me so sad that
I did not even get to tell Mother goodbye. I didn’t get to go to her funeral or help pick out her clothes or check her make etc. she was 84 yrs old but still enjoyed life, was my best friend! Not a day goes by that I
Don’t think of something I want to ask her or tell her. Thank you for the opportunity to post this and God Bless you! BJ Pope
Wow, well said Lisa-Jo. This hit me really hard! My Mom passed away when I was 3 years old. I am now 34, and don’t remember her at all. When I think about the special moments she couldn’t be there with me…. proms, graduations, my wedding, the birth of my daughter & then my son, and just any tough times I’ve had when I needed her, wanted her…. it was & is very hard. Mother’s Day has always been tough. Although I am so blessed that I have a wonderful father who has always been there for me, and I had wonderful grandparents who loved me, and siblings, aunts, uncles & cousins. I’ve always been thankful for that. It was God’s plan for my life. It’s so easy to get caught up in life & the daily routine, I try to stop and remember the best thing I can do is be there for my kids & cherish all the time we have together! It goes by way too fast!
Thanks for sharing you post today. I lost my mom when I was 15, she was 40. She died from cancer. This meant a lot to me.
Thanks,
Wendy
Thank You for this post. I am a motherless mother also. I thought another mom substitute could do the job, but come to find out, not true. I am also a fatherless mother.But, God has taught me and referring to this verse is a big comfort. Psalms 27:10- Even though your mother and father abandon you, the Lord will hold you close….. I am grateful that he holds us close.
My mom mothered well. I wish I could show love and unconditional acceptance as well. She went to be with Jesus on Thanksgiving Day of 1996 (she was 76 years young). I miss her, but I am happy knowing that she is our Father. I am a mother of 2, now grown children-who are awesome. Anxiously looking forward to my nana years… but not too much!
Thanks Lysa for sharing this post. I never really considered motherless mothers before but can identify as a fatherless mother. I’m sure the hurt either way is a “lump caught in your throat moment.” Special days that are meant to honor can sometimes turn into grieving times. I have gained strength through many of the same scriptures shared in your post as well as the comments from others here today. My prayer is that the hurting hearts will be consumed with God’s love and comfort!
Thank you for this, Lysa! Reading all these comments reinforces how much and how hard we need and love our mothers! I hope that I have done well at the task! God created a masterpiece when he created mothers.
I am mourning with all of you ladies as I read your comments about losing your loved ones. My own Mom is still living, but our relationship is almost non-existent. What does exist is pretty superficial. I hurt too, but more from rejection than utter loss.
This is such a wonderful way to reach out to so many motherless mothers. Blessings!
After reading some of the tragic stories shared through these comments I am so grateful that my mom, who taught me to mother well, is close by to share in the daily events of my family’s life…the good, the bad and the absolutely soul shaking God answered our prayers day. So very blessed.
Lost my mom over 25 years ago and still miss her. My daughter sent this to me and blessed me! My mom did not get to know my girls like I would have liked she was a great mom. She raised 12 of us. I am trying to be as good as her and love my Lord as much as she did and know we will be together again one day. Thanks for this!!
My mom went to be with Jesus almost 2 years ago. I cannot believe all that time has gone by. The ache in my heart for her is still there, but it doesn’t physically hurt as much as it used to. Her body was failing and I was glad her suffering was over because I knew that she had accepted Jesus as her Savior. My daddy had gone to be with Jesus when I was 13 and my mom was forever changed after that. I am 38 now. There were a lot of years of this sadness that never fully went away. My dad had cancer, but his diagnosis and death were only 2 months apart. That shock and pain never left my mom and she struggled with depression and she most days just survived, not thrived. There are times when she felt and lived in joy and I hold onto those memories. I still have moments of wanting to call her and share events in my life with her, to hug her and tell her I love her and hear her say it back. I find myself in battle often to not let darkness consume me from time to time. I understand that battle my mom lived. I am beyond thankful for Jesus in my life. If it wasn’t for Him being my anchor, I would have sunk a long time ago. I hope that I am pointing my kids to the One constant in this life. Jesus, our only True Hope, Peace and Joy. And I have come to realize God as my Perfect Parent. Even though I still struggle sometimes and my emotions can be a roller coaster in this life full of storms, God never leaves me. I cling to Him, the anchor of my soul. 🙂
So very deeply moving. Thank you for those amazing words, so poignant and timely…
There are so many things I wish I could have experienced with my mother, Harriett.
Mostly, I wish I could have seen her face the moment she looked into the eyes of Jesus.
I also would have liked for her to have met my husband Ben, but something tells me she had her part in my meeting him and becoming his wife.
Though I don’t have children of my own (only the 4-legged kind), I am thankful for the many gifts my mother passed on to me. I’m still struggling to figure out what to do with them all…
I have my mom still in my life and I love her dearly. Not a day goes by that we do not talk! She is the best mom in the world. I can’t imagine when I have to let her go!
Cammi
I am so lucky to have my Mom in my life, but this will be hard for her since we
just lost our DAD, her husband of 57 years. I wish I could take her hurt away, but I can only PRAY THAT GOD GIVES HER HIS GRACE. I also have a beautiful daughter who will be celebrating her first mothers day WITH her child, my beautiful grandson, Lucas! We of course celebrated last year while Lucas was in utero, as we were so happy awaiting his birth. He is such a gift, a blessing and a treasure. He makes us smile when we want to cry. I thank GOD for my family.
Wow- this post hit home on many levels. I can’t have children of my own, and this is an extremely tough time of year for me. I am the step mother to 3 wonderful children, but it is still bittersweet, as they would rather (rightly) spend the day with their mother. It has also been 17 years since I’ve seen my mother- our relationship has been strained for a long time. Thank you for remembering those of us who find more heartache in this day than love.
I was 42 when my mother died of lung cancer 11 years ago. Although I was older, it still hurt to lose her. What hurt the most was that she was the one that I went to talk to when I needed encouragement or to “unload”. It also bothered me that she wouldn’t be there to see my five children grow up. They were ages 2 to 12 when she died, and my daughter, who was the oldest took it the hardest. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t remember her in some way as I go through my own cancer journey right now. There is still the occasional breakdown, but I know in my heart that she is in Heaven with Jesus and that she is happier than she could ever be here on Earth. I will be praying for everyone without a mom for Mother’s Day!
My sister friend lost her mother when she was only 8 and the effects of such a hard life adjustment have been profound. I would love to gift this book to her if I won it to remind her how loved she is.
I really found a new sense of peace reading this knowing I’m not the only one out there who don’t get to share precious moments with their mother anymore.
I’m 28 years old and lost my mom 17 months ago to liver failure.
I now have 3 kids. 6years, 17 months (today) and 2 weeks old. The Lord aloud us to get to spend time together for the first 5 years of my oldest sons life but when we found out about our middle child going to born she passed away exactly 10 days before Brayden was born.
I honestly think that’s the only thing that gets to me the most, is not getting to share the moments of them with her. Who do I get to turn to for my million questions I always have lol. God has blessed my family and I in more ways then I can keep up count with and I love him so much for everything especially taking my mom out of her pain and suffering.
I still wish she was here though…one day we’ll meet again.
Thanks for such a great and timely post!
Thank you for such a beautiful sentiment for those without mothers in their lives. I lost my mother a few years ago and know that she is in a much better place but I still miss her and the things that I no longer get to share with her. It I good to remember all of the good days we had together.
Absolutely loved the post and the video, so inspiring and touching. Cannot wait to read the book!
Jenny
Oh what a sweet story, I too am now a “mother less mother” this is my first Mother’s Day without her, and even tho my heart is breaking I was so blessed to have had her for 61 years. A long time for many, and my story is to long for this short sweet note, I can
assure you is wasn’t long enough. She cared for a sick child most of my life, leaving me “Motherless” but for the last 20 years she loved me, cared for me and was always there for me. I miss her so much but I know she is home with our precious family and
our wonderful Lord. It is well, it is well with my soul.
I really appreciate reading Lisa-jo’s post. I am also a motherless mother and have been for 12 years. I still miss your terribly and especially this time of year.
Thank you for your beautiful words of understanding and encouragement. My mother died 9 years ago. I am now a mother myself and I wish so deeply she could see her grandchildren and they could experience her amazing love. My mother was my best friend and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t long for her.
Thank you for the reminder of what a blessing it is to be a mother & to have been blessed by Godly mothers. Wishing you a blessed Mother’s Day.
My mom has been gone for 24 years. I miss everything about her but the things I miss the most are just the fact that I don’t get to experience the mother/daughter relationship with her especially now that I am married with my own children. The other thing I miss is that I don’t get to see her be a grandma to my kids. She would have adored them and they are missing out by not having her here with them.
So excited that Lisa Jo’s and her book are featured here today! I’m gifting her book to some of the new mom’s at our church (30 of them) at our new mom’s brunch next week. I’m filled with excitement at how God will use Lisa Jo’s book to encourage our new moms. Thank you Lysa and Lisa Jo for encourage me and so many other women and families daily!
Loved the video and the book looks like a drink for your soul! My Mom gave us her everything and I see myself as her now. Its exhausting to give everything of yourself 24 hours a day. But I get it now. I’d do anything for my kids and my husband. They make life here on Earth worth while. And Jesus breathes such blessings through the mundane. I love motherhood and I’m grateful I had a great example in my Mom to learn from!
I am 26 years old, I lost my mother on Valentine’s Day this year. So she has only been gone a little over 2 months and it still doesn’t seem real some days. The time has gone by so fast! I can’t believe it’s already been as long as it has. It was encouraging reading the comments knowing it will get better. And thank you so much for posting this! I have an almost 10 month old baby so “Gigi” (what she wanted to be called) got to be a wonderful grandmother while she was still here. She was in the room with me while a was dilvering and we were so lucky to have to move in with her at the beginning of jan so I was able to spend that last month with her. Her and my step dad were in a plane accident and neither survived, things have been very difficult, I relied on her way more than I ever thought. I wish she was still here for my wedding one day when I get married and for all the firsts of my baby and especially still here so I could tell her I loved her. I didn’t tell her as much as I should have, or really never at all. I just feel like I took her for granted and I know I can’t go take it back but I just wish I could tell her and just hear her voice. I wish I could call and talk to her and ask her opinion in everything I do like I did before (she spoiled me) I just hope I can be there for Alli Grace, like she was there for me. I will live my life telling Alli and my other babies one day, how great and beautiful she was! I miss her so much!
oh what sweet words I have read today. my daughter Rachel sent this to me. My momma went to be with Jesus March 2012, my heart was torn in two. There were so many hard decisions to make as she was passing from this life into the next. Oh, but what JOY there is for her now as she walks Heavens beautiful streets with her Lord. Thank you Lisa Jo for sharing your heart. You have touched many of us today!
A friend shared this on Facebook and I felt like I was reading my own story as I wept through Lisa Jo’s words. I was 16 when my mother passed in a single-car accident in which my father, an alcoholic, was driving. It will be 18 years this June since she’s been gone – she left behind 6 children and 1 grandchild when she died. Today, she has 20 grandchildren with one more on the way. I always wonder what it would have been like to have had her there at each step, missing her so much more on the hard days and during the tough times, knowing that had she been here, she would have been at my side caring for me in ways only a mother can. Despite that, I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father who loves me more than even my own parents ever could, who blessed me by surrounding me with older sisters and a MIL that fills so many gaps. They will never be my mom – but they are surely the next best thing.
My Mommy was sick and still is sick. She always loved the babies. Her body is wrecked with MS but she always loved her savior. I saw her recently after many years of my disfunction, after I finally fell in love with my Jesus :). I layed beside her and cried. I read the bible with her and praised we our Jesus together. My daughter was there with her unconditional spirit of Christ, only wanting more of Him and of the moment she was witnessing. I don’t know if I will ever see my Mommy again. But I feel a gentle quiet peace over our relationship. As if God placed a divine lid over a jar that was ready to tip over. I love my Mommy. I know she is safe in Gods Hands. I know she tried her best as a mother struggling through her pain and sickness most of her lifetime. I know she loved her family. I know she wanted more….I know she has found it in her Jesus.
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this,
like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that yyou can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this iss magnificent blog.
A great read. I’ll definitely be back.
I love all the stories, they’re so touching. But it makes me sad as I have never had a real mother. My mother had an affair with a married man in the ’60’s when that was more taboo than it is now. She didn’t want me and made it clear to me from my earliest memories that I was a mistake and not wanted. It wasn’t until recently that I came to terms with that and the realization that I was not a mistake, that I am a precious child of the most high God. That while I may not have been in her plans, I was always in His!
My mother and I do not have any type of relationship whatsoever, though I send her mother’s day cards (we live in different countries) she never acknowledges them or me. So I take comfort in knowing that next month is father day, and while neither of my parents wanted me, my Heavenly Father loves me and I love Him.
I too am a motherless mother and would truly appreciate this book. Thank you for your words.
Even though my mother and I were at odds for most of my teen years, I’m so very grateful to say that she is one of my friends today. Still mothering but in a different way, more listening and encouraging, gentle, kind. Love.
Thanks for a chance to win: )
I avoided clicking on this email in my inbox……clicked on the ones around it……I’d glance at it, my finger hovering over the mouse to click on it……and I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to face what it would say. Feelings I’ve stuffed deep down, until I felt like I would burst. Avoiding the thoughts of my mother on what is supposed to be a day to celebrate being one. Birthdays, anniversaries, days when I would want to pick up the phone to call her, and I can’t. I’ve been a motherless mother for about 7 and a half years. My oldest was 4 and my youngest was 1 when I had to take my mother off of life support. I wrestled with that action every day for months after, even though I knew that was what she wanted, what her written instructions said. But I long for one more day with her, one more day for her to spend with my girls. My oldest has some memories, my youngest very few. Her memories mainly come from stories and pictures and that breaks my heart. I finally read the email that was in my inbox, and I began to cry. Crying tears of heartache, and tears of total understanding. None of my close friends have walked this path, and it was helpful to read this and have someone completely understand what I go through as May nears. Thank you for this post. I pray that this Mother’s Day is a day of celebration for all of us, and that even though there will be tears in my eyes, that the love in my heart for my mother and for my daughters will overflow.
I lost both my parents, my father 18 years ago and my mother nearly 4 years ago. The oldest relative is only 54 years old….seems so weird. My children do not know the blessing of grandparents. I pray their children do. Love your blog…..always touches my heart strings
Thank you for this beautiful post.
I am so thankful for my mom and my mom-in-law. I wish I could see them more often. This post has reminded me to be thankful for both of them!
I am also a motherless mother. Our mother passed away two years ago and there is not a day,many days not an hour that goes by that I don’t think about her. Her birthday is around Mother’s Day, so it makes it even more difficult. I think one of the biggest ways I get through this time is knowing she is worshipping at the feet of our Lord, our King and Saviour!!! I would have loved to have seen her face and smile the first time she saw Him face to face. I know I will see her again, that is a promise I count on.
For those of you who still have your mother here on Earth, cherish this time. You are so blessed. I don’t think a child can ever spend too much time with their parents.
Tears running down my cheek is how I read this today. Remembering…the times I had with my mom…the times my girls had with her and now they are moms of girls…REALLY good ones and she is not here to see it or be a part of it, but somehow she is. I see her in them. I see me in them. It has been 24 years since mom left this earth. I was only 30 and still needed her so much, but God filled that void with more of Himself as only He can do. Thank you for this post. Thank you for the reminder that we are not alone. Many of us hurt and time never heals but God teaches and helps us to learn to live without our loved one here. SO grateful to have been a daughter, be a mother, and a grandmother…even if only for a time…SO grateful to have a daughter and granddaughter, have had a mother and a grandmother, …even if only for a time.
Oh you have NO idea how this touched me today. Sitting in my office reading this and choking back tears. I lost my mom two years ago to cancer and she was my best friend. We did life together and life has not been the same since she left me. I do reconcile in my heart that she is way better off in heaven and I do rejoice that she is cancer-free. I would never have wanted to keep her here for my own selfishness but I so miss her…. to the point that at times my heart just aches for her. Your blog was a beautiful tribute and bless you for posting it. I am actually without both of my parents now and so I consider myself and earthly orphan. At times that is a very lonely feeling. So I deeply appreciate what you shared today. Proverbs 31 ministries and by OBS group has really helped me heal my broken heart and I will be eternally grateful for your unknowing presence in my life. 🙂
Losing a mother has been the most devastating thing to ever happen in my world. But each day I give thanks and know that I am a day closer to being reunited with her!
While my mother is still alive, she is not a mother to me to due to her mental illness and abuse. Mother’s Day is probably the most difficult holiday to handle because of this. I have spent my entire adult life without a mother. I see all the beautiful Mother’s Day gifts and cards and I would love to be able to share with a mom how much I appreciate and love her. If I weren’t a mom myself I would ignore the day altogether. I’m now learning how to be the mom to my daughters that I wish that I had had.
I am not a mother yet, but your words still brought comfort to me. Praise God for the 17 years I had with her, the lessons she taught me and my sister, and her light that I see shining in my sister as she parents her baby girl. Thank you for your words. It is well with my soul!
I am very grateful for my mom, she has been there for me in all circumstances.
Thank you for this message and for a chance for this giveaway.
God bless you.
My mother’s mother died the day my youngest sister was born. I watched my mother become a wonderful wife and example for me without her own mother. She is type of mother I long to be.
I feel blessed to have my Mom still. Happy Mothers Day to all of you. Beautiful blog.
I wish there were more moments that were just ours as it was when I was very small.
Not the obstacles of others always competing for your love, time and resources.
The simpler days I suppose when perhaps I was still your only child.
Your day then seemed to revolve around me or so I thought!
A day just for you and I mom! without us carrying everyone burdens.
When we sang and played and prayed together as I remember when I was still so young and small, for those very Special Day’s imprinted forever in my heart I wish you always “Happy Mother’s Day Mom!”
With Love Your only Daughter XOXO
My mom died shortly after my 16th birthday, over 37 years ago. My dad, bless his heart, told me I had a week to get over it, then we didn’t talk much about it after that.
I have always struggled with being a woman,a wife,a mom. I’ve felt I never had any direction. I Ann so thankful for the women that have come and gone from my life that did help me through the seasons of my life when my mom wasn’t here.
I know the experience of being a motherless daughter has shaped me into the person I am today. I know my relationship with God has grounded me and helped me find my identity in Christ.
My heart goes out to other mothers daughters and yes, motherless mothers. Thank you.
Very beautiful post. Makes me more grateful to still have my mom here. I’ll be driving 12 hrs to see her for Mother’s Day. Thanks for the chance to win.
So incredibly thankful for me mom and the journey she has traveled, because it has taught me so much of how I want to be with my own children.
This was written for me. The last verbal conversation I had with my mom was telling her I was pregnant with my first child. She passed shortly after. It has been almost 15 years and I miss her so but of course am thankful for that gift God gave me of sharing that with her. Thank you for writing this and sharing your heart. It certainly spoke to mine.
Lisa-Jo’s sharing a message of blessing, not just for the motherless, but for those who still have their mothers close. A wonderful caress to comfort us all during those times when our lot is not what we desire. Thank you for sharing it here, Lysa.
After moving 5 hrs away from my mom I have learned how to be a more present mother to my kids. I am also overwhelmed by the depths of a mothers love. I am also saddened that on this upcoming Mother’s Day my husband and his mom are estranged. I pray that wounds will be healed and forgiveness can begin soon!
Thank you for sharing this story. <3
Thank you for sharing this story. <3
I’m blessed to have a wonderful mom and mother-in-law. I am childless mother, I guess, we lost a baby last year.
I am blessed to still have my mom with me, physically, but she is slowly leaving us, mentally with dementia & cancer. I look at her & see a different women from the one who raised me. It’s hard most days but I am very grateful to have her still here & that I have the privilege of taking care of her as she did for me, growing up.
Thank you Lysa for sharing Lisa-Jo’s book.
How sweet. I haven’t lost my mom, but have seen both of my parents lose their moms. I saw the hurt and sadness. I, also,want to remember my sweet friends that have lost their children or are unable to have children. Their pain is deep, too. I think this book could help support many women in their daily lives
My mother was amazing, but I she died on Mother’s Day, ten years ago. The pain never goes away; my heart went with her. My daughter was just like my mother… More so than I was, and we had an exceptional relationship. But 7 months ago she left me, never looking back, for a man who did not like me. I have been dreading Mothers Day for several months. It was difficult before, but now, I don’t know how I’ll get through it.
Lysa and Lisa-Jo I am not a writer but just had to thank you so much for these words! My wonderful mom died 24 years ago . I was in my early twenties and pregnant for my first child. My Dad died the year before. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this I am so moved by your words. Not a day goes by that I dont miss her or wish I could share another cup of tea with her or hug her. She didn’t get to meet my four beautiful children but I see her in them. She loved Jesus ! She prayed and read the bible a lot! Growing up I would think why does she spend so much time praying and reading the bible? Oh what I didn’t know then! What a legacy she left me! Now that’s what my children see. So thank you so much Mom! I found it hard to enjoy Mother’s Day for so many years after she died, even after having chilren. It didn’t feel like it was meant for me. It was suppose to be for my Mom. My friends had their Moms and even Grandmas. Thank you ladies for sharing your gift with women and helping us to remember we are not alone .We have each other and the love of our Lord Jesus. Happy Mother’s Day!
I have a wonderful mother. I never could have children of my own, but when my husband and I married, he had two children. Yes, being a step-mother can be a difficult task, we survived the rocky start and now those children are MY children. Our daughter and her 8 year old boy along with our son have a great relationship. Most people that we attend church together with find it a real shock when we tell them that they are not my biological children. They even tell me how much more they look like me than their biological father. Happy Mother’s Day to ALL mothers.
My mother died when I was 18, and 34 years later, it still hurts. I wish she and my children had been able to know each other. I met with 2 high school friends a few months ago, and it was so lovely to hear their memories of her. Thank you for sharing.
My mom is alive and well, but chooses to not really be a part of our lives. I wish she knew what glorious kids she is missing. Thanks for making this available.
Blessed to still have my mom & mom in law w/me, but feeling the pain of several dear friends who do not still have their moms
Thank you for giving me the chance to win this book. My mom and I have had our ups and downs but now being 40 years old with 2 children of my own I appreciate her now more than ever and realize nobody is perfect. It is the hardest job to be a mother. I will cherish the day my children will realize that I love them more than myself and would do anything for them. Thank you again for your blog and books. Sincerely, Nicole Schuettpelz Green Bay Wi
I still have my mom although we aren’t as close as we could be. She had a pretty rough year battling cancer and once she has her thyroid removed she should be cancer-free.
Thank you, God! I have a wonderful mother!
If love to win a copy of this book to give my sweet daughter in love. She lost her mother 4 yrs ago while at the age of 18, middle of her senior year in high school, very suddenly and unexpected! Her mom just passed away in her sleep with no explanations, no answers! So tragic!
I have been a “motherless” mother for almost 2 years! You would think the pain gets easier to bear but it doesn’t when you have lost your best friend! My Mom and I saw each other several times a week and talked on the phone many times so a huge hole has been formed in my life. It is not something that is easy to fill and not a day goes by that I do not think of my Mom! I know I will be reunited with her and my Dad again when I am called home or Jesus comes so I have that hope in my heart!
This will be my first Mother’s day without my mom who passed away in January. As the day approaches, my heart sinks further into this place of emptiness and I continue to try to make sense of life without my mom. I am a motherless daughter who turns to God daily and asks for Him to hold my hand as I learn this new normal. This book has been on my radar and I know I would be blessed by reading it.
I lost my mother in ’08. And there are still days when I miss her so much it takes my breath away. There is no love like a mother’s love, and I miss her unconditional love more than anything at times. Thank you for your precious blog! Very much what I needed to hear.
Love lisa-Jo and so far love her book! Bought two copies, one for my MOPS group and one for a soon to be first time mom. Then I started reading it and couldn’t stop, so now I have to buy I new copy for my soon to be mommy friend. Lisa-Jo, your words are lyrical and reach to the very depths of my soul. You have comforted me many times, more than you know. I pass on your words to as many moms and women as I can. Thank you!
This was SUCH an unexpected blessing. My mom died on Mother’s Day 12 yrs ago: God gives me strength as I need it, but it is very hard every year at May. Thank you for this post. Such a comfort.
My mom passed away on April 19th of this year, so this Mother’s Day will be sad, but I also want to honor my mom. She loved God and served Him with gladness all her life. Through my tears, I am leaning on God, family, and friends. Thank you, Mom, for your life and showing me the joy in serving the Lord.
I am so grateful to have my Mom. She is my best friend and I’d be lost with out her.
Would the books (for a friend) & tea set! My granddaughter & were talking about having a tea party just last night. She was also telling me about God & Jesus 🙂
My mom is still alive, but I have several friends whose mothers aren’t, and I have several friends with infertility who dearly wish to be mothers. Thank you for this post. It is a blessing.
At the age of 35, I have lost both of my parents now. My mom has been gone just a little over a year and my dad passed almost 15 years ago. My heart has such a hole from there passing and some days the thought of each day without them is more than I can bear. My oldest daughter will graduate this year and it’s so bittersweet as I think of them not being there to see her. Each event and milestone in our lives rises so many mixed emotions as it saddens me that they are not here to share all these moments.
Such an awesome releasing of tears, as I read your post. My mom left us almost 50 years ago, and I miss her. I thank God for his choosing of who my mom was, she was special. Thank you for bringing back such awesome and beautiful memories of my mom!
My mama is still alive, yet I yearn for more of a relationship with her. Several years ago she had a stroke, and it killed the part of her brain that forms personality. I grieve a person who is alive and not capable of a reciprocal relationship. This book may be just what I need to come to peace with what is.
I needed this today more than you know. I lost my mother 7 years ago, 7 months after my son was born, my daughter was 3. My mother met my children but she has missed so much of their growing. My kids will never experience sleep overs with Nana or baking cookies or making Christmas candy. I try so hard to do so many things that she did and always tell them that I learned this from Nana or this is they way Nana did something. I know the big holidays without a loved one is hard but Mother’s Day is always the hardest day of the year for me. I put on a happy face for my kids but honestly I wish I could just go away on Mothers Day or just skip it all together. I cry all the way through church and I just want to go to the graveyard. Thank you so much for the words. being a motherless daughter is hard but being a motherless mother is such an empty feeling. I wish so badly my mother could see my kids and tell me the things they do that are like I did when I was a kid. Or rock them and sing to them “You are my sunshine” like she did to me. Those things we will never have but memories I do and I pass them on every chance I get!
Lysa thank you for posting Lisa-Jo’s comments. Her words echo what my heart has felt for 30 years now. My missionary mom died in a car accident in Kenya when I was 12. Four and a half years later I lost my dad in a plane crash in Sudan. I am now 42 and a mother of 2 children and what breaks my heart most is that my kids don’t know their grandparents, and I never got to see my parents and kids together. They would have adored each other. I tell my kids that their grandparents would have just eaten them up for lunch. I cried as I read this post because it is a lonely road we walk as motherless mothers, but there is healing in the eyes, hugs, laughter, and innocence of children. How I have longed for someone to stroke my hair as I cried and groaned in the agony of grief. In spite of that pain, I do have hope that my parents are in heaven and that God the father has collected my tears, and one day he will wipe them all away.
My mother is still with us and is a healthy great grandma to my grandchildren. She was a single parent to 4 of us and we never felt poor, unloved, or any negative thought toward our father. I do miss my step mother of 30+ yrs as she died 4 yrs ago. She was the best 2nd mom one could have. So feel so blessed to have these “moms”. And a side note .. My mom and dad remarried and are newly weds. God is good.
Wonderful!!!
I’m left almost speechless and unsure exactly how my heart wants to form a comment here. My mom has been gone 3 years now. She was my best friend and my hero in life. She inspired me and she was my biggest supporter. she led me to Jesus. Some of her traits are evident in both my children. I miss her with a heartache every single day still. But god has brought blessings as well, in her absence, as we started a scholarship in her memory to help others. Her laugh lives on in me. Her legacy continues from countless children she taught in Sunday School over the years. I could write on and on. But these words penetrated my heart and I want to say thank you for sharing this. I cried. And I remembered. And though we don’t know each other, I felt very connected to you in this moment. Thank you.
Wow – I too am a motherless mother. My mom died 20 years ago this week. She died 10 days before I got married at the age of 22, so for me the milestones she missed started right away. As much as my heart aches still missing her, I can say that God is good and God is faithful. Looking back over the 20 years she’s been gone I can see the other women God has placed in my life during different seasons to be “surrogate” mothers and to love on me in similar ways. One of those women is my mother in law, who wisely told me once that as much as I miss my mom and wish she was here so I could show her all the things that have happened in my life, how much more my mom can’t wait to show me where she is in heaven. She made me breakfast every morning before school and stamped smiley faces in my toast:)
My mom is truly my bestfriend. I am so blessed to still have her in my life. She stands beside me all,the way. I am a better person because of her.
How beautifully written! Although my Moma died 10 years ago and never met my last 5 kids, I so rejoice in her legacy! I rejoice that she DID meet Jesus! Of course my heart mourns the loss but I am so blessed to hear her name each time I call for my 5 year old. I see her face everyday in the mirror, I hear her laugh every time my 15 year old gets tickled. Such a blessing to be reminded of these joys.
My heart aches for your loss of a happy wonderful mother. My loss is a mother who is alive physically but living in a world that is her own, unable to connect with most of her children. To know Jesus can heal her some day brings me joy that I may be able to have the mother in heaven that eluded me on earth. Thanks for sharing the power of faith and the comfort Jesus brings.
I lost my mom just over a month ago. She was only 59. This will be my first Mother’s Day without her. Our relationship was very up and down but I’m so thankful that we were able to put aside our human issues and just love each other. I watched her memories disappear and her spirit trapped inside a deteriorating body due to Vascular Dementia. God blessed me with being able to be with her in last moments. I walked her to the Gates of Heaven and saw with my own eyes all the proof I will ever need that He does indeed exist. While that does bring me comfort and I know without a doubt that she is so much better off, it still hurts with an indescribable pain that only a motherless daughter can know. Thank you for this post and for all of you sharing your stories. I know I’m not alone.
I am blessed to still have my 85 year old mama. I can’t stand to think about losing her someday…
I’m always amazed at God’s perfect timing … this is one of those times! This too will be my first Mother’s Day without my mother. Her birthday was just this week on the 28th and I spent that day remembering her special day last year. At that time she was bedridden, living in a nursing facility, and suffering through each moment with dementia. We did our best to make the day special with cake, ice cream, and her 2 closest sisters visiting. After losing my father to cancer 7 years ago my husband and I had ‘looked after’ my mom and her health continued to fail. What began as a general state of forgetting soon developed into full-blown dementia. As her only child I’m grateful she always remembered who I was. She and I were very close and it was painful going through this and witnessing her declining health, various hospital stays, moving her from home to various facilities, then her eventual passing. On my birthday last year I received the call she was in the ‘active dying’ stage. For the next 4 days relatives and friends gathered and visited Mother at the facility. On the night before Mother’s Day we left her, only to receive a call once we got home to come back …. informing us her passing would come within the hour. We sat vigil and eventually she was at peace and went to be with the Lord …. in the wee hours of Mother’s Day. So it is this year, as a motherless daughter, I face my first Mother’s Day without her. I so appreciate this post and I’m grateful someone remembers those of us who face this sad time. I’m grateful Mother is free from her dementia and confusion but I miss her nonetheless. I often think I need to give her a call, I miss our Sunday chats about spiritual matters, and I hear her voice as I catch myself repeating some of her favorite sayings. I’m thankful for Proverbs 31 Ministries, for the daily devotionals, and for Godly women who freely share. God bless you!
I am counseling a young woman who could be blessed by this book. I’m going to get a copy for her whether through this giveaway or not, but I’m so thankful it’s been written. 🙂
Thank you for posting Lisa-Jo’s beautiful sentiments. So many can relate.
I too lost my mom almost 6 years ago. My twins were just 5 months old. I am also blessed to have a 19 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I know that God has my mom in his arms, no more suffering. I love you mom.
Thank you! Beautifully said!
Wow is all I can say this was not what I thought I would be reading as I opened up my email .This brought tears to my eyes like my own story was being told and I thought it was just me that hurt because my own Mom wants nothing to do with me and her only Granddaughter because I will not lie about Whete my brother is hiding from the law using a dead baby’s name so she says I am the bad kid because I will not support him .God is so good to give me my amazing Husband because him and our little girl is the only family we have .So Mother’s Day is very hard .You are right I need to keep it happy so my girl can make memories but it is so hard I miss my mommy .I need help and advise to raise our girl .Thank you so much because this email was the best thing ever I needed this so thank you so very much sending you big hugs and thank you again 🙂 .
I am so blessed to have a Godly Mother. I know the day will come when I will long to hear her voice. She is an avid journal keeper. She writes her woes, rejoices, and her most private thoughts. She has volumes of them. I will want and not want to read them someday. I’m sure I have troubled her and I am sure I have brought her joy. Those thoughts are in there I am sure. Most of all I will read about her love for our Precious Lord. Those will be the words I will cherish so much. Until then I am reminded that while we are here together we will share the love of the Lord together and will sing His praises, and cherish every moment of it. I am confident that will be written down too.
I too am a motherless daughter. My mother went to be with The Lord 10 days after I was born. 35 years will have gone by this June since she took her last breath. I always knew that she was gone, and tried to bury the pain with laughter, addiction, and rationalization…but when I became a mother (nearly 13 years ago), I realized that losing my mother shortly after birth had a significantly profound effect on me. I am so thankful for my redeemer, Jesus Christ! Without his tender love & mercy…I would continue to be buried in pain! Thank you for sharing your story and all the emotions that go along with it; as it reassures me that I’m not alone!
I want to be the mother I never had, and show my daughter that God is the only father she will ever need.
I am so envious of the pain and sorrow expressed her by daughters who have lost loving mothers. When my mother died, I was left with feelings of ambivalence. She contributed nothing to my life, and in fact admitted to wanting an abortion but couldn’t afford the trip to Cuba in 1954 to get it. How I wish I had a heart that was broken with her departure leaving only happy memories! But, I am the mother now, and I know my children will feel what ya’ll do someday. Rejoice that you were loved by your mother!
Lisa,
First, thank you for your ministry to women. You are a heartfelt and honest woman. I have never left a comment but this segment has touched a part of me. My mother left when I was age two and was raised by a wonderful and loving dad. Reunited with her at age 16, she became my friend. She passed within ten years when I was 26. I loved her but she could truly never be my mother, my dad was my love. Fast forward, I could never have children due to DES drugs that my mother took while pregnant. So while I have sympathy for the mothers without mothers, they are blessed to be mothers. Please pray for all the women that suffer through “Mothers Day” without any family.
God has a plan for me and I have accepted all the blessings HE has bestowed on me but still Mothers Day is always a hard one for me.
Warmest regards,
Cheryl
Today at the card store it hit me. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a mother to buy a Mothers Day card or a Birthday card. I remember now, she passed away last Fall. Yet I try to forget because the thought is too painful. But when I do remember, I remind myself, even if I don’t feel it yet, it WILL be well with my soul….one day soon.
Thank you. I miss my mother with an ache in my heart everyday and know not how to help myself, my siblings or my children heal from her sudden death two years ago. Thank you for acknowledging the hurt and pain and helping to remind us all that God is here and hears out tears.
This will be my first Mothers Day without my mom! Thank you so much for the article. I am who. I am today because of my beloved mother.
Beautiful words. Thank you.
I ♥ my incredible husband, Ron Smith. I guess he and I ar in a similar situation because his family doesn’t call him day or oportant holidays. Both of us sometimes feel like …e dt matter too thly families. Nevertheless, we’ve got church friends in Pam Hyde and anr husband, !Michael Hyd wh love us le a partheir own family. e”When I say: No one sees me. God says: I see you. You are the focus of my love.” Renee Swope What a very powerful reminder this morning! I ♥ just how God wants to remind me that He always sees what I do, even when I’m not noticed by anyone else around me. It seems like not too many people really want to pay attention to you when you’ve got a disability of some kind. ” Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his lov”~e. Ephesians 1:4, MSG}
What a very true verse God loves all of us, especially when nobody else does. What a very powerful reminder as we enter a month when mom’s are going to be remembered and celebrated by their children and families!
“As Mother’s Day approaches, my heart is especially sensitive to my friends for whom this holiday will be hard. I have friends who will be standing by gravesites this Mother’s Day. I also have friends whose moms haven’t been a part of their lives in many years. And those who have challenging relationships with their moms who try to navigate Mother’s Day with grace but some necessary distance.
No matter the circumstances, I wanted a post that could help those feeling the sting of a mother’s absence.
My friend, Lisa-Jo, knows this delicate struggle in deep ways. And from her own pain, she pens these words for us…
My mom used to dance in the mornings.
A happy, shameless jig in her PJs right out there in the driveway as my dad drove us off to school. She’d dance and wave and grin and I could feel the love well up from my toes to my nose. It spilled out of me – this being someone’s daughter. Loved. Cherished. Celebrated.
She’s been dead now 21 years to the day since I turned 18.
Time passes and with it go the birthdays, love stories, anniversaries, new babies, first steps, preschool orientations, international moves, new jobs, hair color changes. And each milestone is a mile more in the road that we don’t walk together.
I am the motherless daughter.
And three continents and three kids later I have grown up into the motherless mother.
Of two sons. And a daughter.
Everything I can’t remember about my mother I see reflected in my daughter’s eyes. I am terrified by how much I love her. How does a mother bear it? The good-bye. Twenty years. Twenty years. It hurts to type it.
Twenty years ago I sat in a pew and sang the last words my mother left for us:
“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well, it is well, with my soul.’”
One week after I’d turned eighteen. I’m thirty-nine today. And I’m still singing it, Mom. I’m singing it still, and I still believe every hard, awful word to be true. That we can sing though the heavens crash open and the world comes pouring down around us. We can raise our eyes and our voices to the hills, where our help comes from, and sing. Even when all that comes out is a whisper.
“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
‘It is well, it is well, with my soul.’”
So many of us make the journey to motherhood without a mom. Whether she’s absent because she chose to leave or because she was emotionally unavailable or because she died like mine did, we all have to make sense of what that means for our own mothering.
I am the motherless mother.
If you are too, can I take your hand?
Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?
I believe God can take it.
I believe He invites it.
…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26.
Go ahead and groan child. Let the part of you that never got to grow up with a mom, never got to bear down with her as you bore down in labor, never got to introduce her to your own babies — let that part of you weep if she needs to. You are beautiful and loved and not a single tear falls to the ground uncherished by the Father God who holds us both.
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
~Psalm 56:8
You are your mother’s daughter, created in your Father God’s image. And nothing can break that.
We’re in this together. Every step of the way. And you are braver than you know, for all the ways you mother.
{Click here to see the video if you’re reading in an email.}
So let us celebrate quiet together. Whisper into the comments what you miss, what you loved, what you wish she might have done different, what you wish you’d said, what you wish she knew about her grand babies, what makes you your mother’s daughter.
And today I will stop, remember, and rejoice with you, my brave, beautiful, utterly beloved sister!
Happy nearly Mother’s Day.”~Lysa TerKeurst
Like many years, I won’t be joining my mom to celebrate Mother’s Day. Only one year that I can remember since moving to the Mary Bryant Home For the Blind and Visually Impaired A few years back, she came to my Special Olympics state event one year. I then went on a home visit soon afterwards.s See More
Wow, this put loss to a new prespective. I now look at my mom in different light because she lost my grandmother at a very young age.
Thank you for this!!
I am a 51 year old mother of 3 who are moving on with their lives. This is an exciting time in their lives, but I fear the empty nest. My mother is alive in the physical sense, but has been absent from our lives for the last 20 years due to a mental illness. She has met her grandchildren, but has chosen to live in her illness alone. She is depressed and refuses to seek help. Although, she is a Christian who know the Bible well and has been a prayer warrior. I remember her praying for me as a young child that I would marry a godly man. She would also pray for her future grandchildren. I am grateful for her prayers because I did marry a godly man who loves his family well. I spoke with her yesterday and am saddened by her deep depression. She spoke of her desire to die because she has no purpose on this earth any longer. Through tears, I begged her to keep on praying for her grandchildren as they are struggling and trying to figure out if God is real or not. God honored her prayers for my husband. I need her to keep praying. I am worn and tired as I am struggling towards recovery from an Eating Disorder and my own deep depression. I am thankful that my plans for suicide were never fulfilled. My son is getting married in two months and my mother has chosen to not attend because of all of her broken relationships with my siblings and all of her grandchildren. Recovery work and forgiveness is a daily struggle for me. I long to see my mother healed before she leaves this earth. I long for our relationship to be restored and depression free.
My mom is living with me now. She is 77 and has a lot of health issues. During the daily stress of caring for her, sometimes I forget how much she did for me when I was a child. I get overwhelmed with taking her to doctor appts, gaining her her medications and just being around her 24 hrs a day. I love her and we have great memories together but the circle of life has brought her to me and I’m now playing the mother role to her. I try to remind myself to cherish this time with her because her time on earth is drawing to a close. She is my mother and I her daughter. I will miss her dearly when Jesus calls her home.
Make sure you say all you want to say to her now. God bless you for taking care of her. I was a caretaker for the last 4 years of my mom’s life. It is SO hard. I wish I could tell her sorry I am for the times I became frustrated.. I know she felt it was at her but it was at life, that I couldn’t change what was happening to her and didn’t want to face it. She left us 6 days before Christmas 2013. I still have her last voice messages on my phone telling me she loved me….. My only consolation is the Lord has her now and she is free from all her suffering… Cherish the time you have with her. 🙂
Thank you. I needed this.
Wow that was amazing just felt like me over and over. Being a mother of three can be a challenge especially since they r a year apart, but at the end of every day they love each other no matter all fuses and falls, some days the thought crosses my mind is my preachin and teachin whether it school related or bible verses comin thru those tiny brains but there is so much joy when things r revealed maybe not in that moment but years down the road.I still have a mother and our relationship is very up and down, she has been battling cancer for 8 years and thru it all she has always fought all of it, but sometimes see her in the most difficult stage I find it hard to say hang in there I love you. Have a blessed day
I love that this book addresses the motherless mothers. There are not many out there that do. I lost my mom nearly 19 years ago, when I was 15. No one quite understands that feeling except those who have been through it too. Can’t wait to read the book!
I have a precious 84 year old mother . I am a mother of 2 beautiful daughters , and my oldest is a mother of 2 beautiful daughters! What a celebration of motherhood! Would love to win this awsome set to give away.
Thank you, thank you for understanding that void in my life that others don’t understand. I lost my mom 14 years ago to cancer and I ache over the things that I have missed being able to share with her. I cried at my children’s graduations, weddings, and births of their children because she has missed these events. I look forward to reading this from the perspective that someone else understands.
This was a wonderful, loving article. I’m so grateful my mom is still here, close by, & healthy. As I was reading this I couldn’t help but think that this also applies to us daughters that have lost a dad. Fatherless daughters. My father died very young, 28 years ago this month. Thank you for the post & the giveaway.
I never thought of myself as a “Motherless Mother” , but Thank You , 25 years have passed and Mothers Day still stings a bit! It is nice to know I am not alone .
My mom lived to be 98 and she lives on in my actions and love for my children and grand children.
I love my mother dearly…even though she is very sick! I praise God for her daily!
Steph Sanders
I am the mother whose mother is not involved. She has seen me once in over 2 years. And she has not even met my 11 month old daughter. I have tried and tried to involve her. But she misses it all: birthdays, my college graduation, house warming party, baby shower, etc. I hate to shop for mother’s day cards because I can’t bear all of the admiration shown in the cards. I don’t have a mom like that. But what I DO have is God’s grace. I do not have to be that way to my own children. I may not have the mother I need or want. But she has taught me some of the greatest lessons: to never abandon my family, to love my children and cherish them, to make every holiday special, show my children how much I love Jesus. I am blessed.
My mom passed away 26 years ago. Still miss her so much. Thankful for who she was and the lives she touched.
I needed this. Thanks!
I would love to read this book and the adorable tea set. Having lost my Mother 3 years ago this devotional hit home and was so encouraging. Thank you for sharing this. It spoke deep into my heart and was just what I needed to read today. God meets us where we need to be met. And today was not different. Thank you! God Bless, Carol
I had a physical mother when I was growing up but not an emotional one. She did not like me, and I believe she did not want me. We had not relationship. The only memories I have of her are her angry moments at me. Her harsh words toward me. Her you are not good enough attitude towards me. No hugs, no kisses, no kind words. All I wanted was for her to love me too. I loved her!
Motherhood surprised me too! Thank you for sharing your heart! I look forward to reading the book with a cuppa tea — two of my favorite things!! Blessings! 🙂
I lost my sweet mama 5 years ago. She had dementia. My girls were 6 and 3 when she died. They only remember her from pictures and videos. She met them but she didn’t know they were mine or her grandchildren. She was gone before she was really gone. I miss her every single day. I miss her smell. I miss her hugs. I miss her smile. I miss the love that outpoured from her to me – even when she didn’t call me by name. She knew me. She loved me. Unconditionally. The way I love my girls. The way our Father in Heaven loves us. I was blessed to have her as long as I did. I want to be that kind of mama to my girls. Thank you for this post and remembering those of us without our mamas.
My mom died 10 years ago April 14 at 3:45 a.m. I miss her more than words can describe. Her birthday is May 12. Some years it falls on Mothers Day. Double hard day. I am a mother and realize I need to celebrate. My children need me to celebrate. My momma would want me to celebrate. I see my momma in my son and daughter. Their smiles, their laugh, their quick wit and sense of humor. But most importantly, their love for their Savior as she taught them and me. I cherish every memory and every day I had with her and I cherish God’s promise of seeing her again.
In 2008 I lost my Mom suddenly to a lung disease. She was the best Mom. My parents divorced when I was small and she was left to raise 5 of her 7 children on her own. She had to find a career to support all of us as she had been a stay at home Mom prior to that. My Mom was an English War bride and met and fell in love with my Dad during World War Two. She moved to a small town in Minnesota and embraced a completely different way of life. Because she was from England we were taught all about tea at an early age. I have 4 sisters and we all have cup and saucer collections and a teapot or two, so this devotion really spoke to me. I was so fortunate to have my Mom in my life and blessed that I had her as long as I did. God saw me through a really hard time losing my Mom, and becoming “empty nesters” at the same time. I am so grateful for her faith and that someday I will see her again in heaven. She lived her life in such a way I know God said to her “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
This post brought tears to my eyes. I lost my mom 11 years ago to cancer and until you are a motherless mother no one can understand it. I now have 2 daughters (ages 9 and 5) and I think so often how much my mom would have loved to be a part of their lives and all they are missing my not knowing their “angel” grandma. I missed not having my mom to call when I was pregnant and to talk me through those first days as a new mom and I miss her so much more as my girls get older and I feel that I have no one to ask for advice as I enter the “tween” parenting years. My mom was my best friend truly and there have been other hard times in my life that I’ve wished beyond everything that I could call her and ask her what I should do or just cry on her shoulder. I know beyond a doubt that she’s in the arms of Jesus and that I will see her again in Heaven but the ache of missing her never really goes away. Thank you for a wonderful post that touches the hearts of so many of us.
I love the way God used you to express and demonstrate the true meaning of being a Mother. I too am a motherless mother it has been 24 years, but I can still remember her working so hard for us. How I would help her cook and some days fixing her lunch for work. So am going to stop now because I can go on and on about her because to me she was perfect in my eyes, but God called her home when I was 23. I thank God for using you in such a beautiful way and I thank God for my Mother.
Happy Early Mother’s Day to us all!
God Bless-
Trough the eyes of others , I say, ‘Thank you’, for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. I am thankful that our mothers’ mistakes do not have to be our own legacy with our children, and that God’s “mothering” can fill voids, both in their lives and in our own.
For many there is no greater joy than to be a mom, celebrate with a mom and be a mom-in-law 🙂 And for others, there is great sadness of never having been a mom, lost a mom, chosen not to be a mom etc. Thank you for addressing the joys and sadness of the great and loving title of MOM.
Beautiful post!!! I think the post applies to both mother’s and father’s or whomever raised a person and built those same connections. It is hard to know how to console people dealing with pain and hurt on days like these, thanks for posting!!!
Absolutely beautiful post. Thanks for your beauty!
My heart needed this sooo! I am going to share this those that know this void. Thank you so very much for sharing your beautiful, heart-felt story! God Bless you and your family!
Thank you for reminding me of the blessing it is to say “mom”
I think of my friend, Lisa M, who lost her mother to cancer nearly 10 years ago and has a beautiful daughter that her mother never got to meet. I see her mother in her eyes and in her laughter and in her smile. I also think of my mom who lost her mother to dementia. She won’t go see her mother because she wants to remember her smiling, laughing, and knowing her family…not as she is now in a long term care facility with a blank look on her face. It is so good to know God’s love is there to embrace them on Mother’s Day.
My mom has been gone for almost 9 years. I do think about all the things we have missed in each others lives since then. I am thankful for the 44 years we did have together and cherish my memories and photos and most importantly that she belonged to Christ.
Thank you for this, it is helpful and had me in tears. My mother is physically here, but Alzheimer’s has taken her mind and at this point completely erased her memories of me. And i am heartbroken and having such a hard time dealing with this. My babies are still very little and I have so many questions i want to aske her, there are so many moments that i wish I could just call her, and I deeply wish my my babies had my mom, the one who has gone away, in their lives.
Thank you for the song. You are right every word is so very hard, the only part that is truly helpin me to keep going these days is the knowledge that I belong to God, that is here through this overwhelming pain.
Sorry to ramble. Thank you again for your post.
This is so beautifully written that it brought me to tears. Thankfully, I have my mother, but have seen the pain of my best friend losing hers at a young age due to cancer. It’s a pain I could never imagine. Thank you for your words.
Beautifully written to touch so many hearts. I have grown up with a friend who lost both her parents during her young adult life. Watching the pain and grieving has awakened me to all that I am thankful for each day with my mom! I know my friend is saddened often raising her 2 girls without the love and support of her special mother. I pray and hope she’ll learn to lean on Jesus and gain comfort from the Lord.
My mom died when I was nineteen, I’d come home from my freshman year of college at the end of May, she went into the hospital at the end of June and died August 2nd. Toward the end when she was quite ill, we were leaving and she mouthed the words “I love you”. No one had ever said those words to me before. My parents loved us but weren’t not demonstrative physically, verbally or emotionally. I regret that I never answered her. I never told my mom that I loved her. I hope she hears me now when I say it to her up in heaven.
Thank you for sharing. Wow. When you loose your Mom no matter what your age you have lost someone who loved you and believed in you as close to the Fathers heavenly love that you can experience in this life. Irreplaceable.
My mother began her battle with alzheimers when she was only 56. Although she didn’t physically enter into glory until 12 years later, her mind was gone before I ever had my kids. One is now graduating from college and the other begins high school. A motherless mom, but one who will never forget the godly woman she calls Mom!
Beautiful. I lost my mother in law 3 years ago and I miss her everyday. This has touched my heart deeply and I will forward on to my two beautiful sister in laws who will miss their mama more than words can say this Mother’s Day. Thank you for posting such a real and hope filled message. To God be all the Glory!
My beautiful mother will celebrate her 88th birthday this month, unless Jesus calls her home. She lives with me but my daughter-in-law watches her during the day while I’m at work. Every night as I tuck her into bed, the flood of memories of her tucking me in overwhelm me. She suffers from memory loss which makes it difficult on us who remember her as a strong faithful woman who could have been the Martha Stewart of her era! I thank God daily for giving me the opportunity to care for her and for my wonderful husband who is so understanding.
This post hit home for me. Not because of my own relationship with my mother who I am blessed is still alive, is a loving grandmother to my 1-year old son, and lives just 2 miles away (which can actually be both a blessing and a curse). This post hit home because it brought to mind a very dear friend of mine. She has always had a wonderful heart for mentally handicapped people. Just 1 year after she got married, her new husband and her made the difficult decision to fight for custody of a mentally disabled adult living at the care facility she worked at. They had realized his own family was abusing him during their home visits required for them to get the state assistance money. After a difficult court battle, they won custody. Due to his disability, Fred was sometimes difficult to understand, but you couldn’t spend more than 5 seconds with him and not see his incredible love for God. Fred was a wonderful addition to their lives for 7 years – until he died very unexpectedly in a tragic accident 2 years ago. Now my friend will be one of the mothers at a graveside this mother’s day – grieving not only her loss of Fred, but the fact that her husband and her have tried for years to conceive a child, and God has not yet brought that dream to her. I watch her with the kids in her life that she has “adopted” and see how natural of a mother she is. I also see the hurt in her eyes as she graciously hugs and congratulates each of her friends as they start their own families. I continue to pray that God will bring her a child of her own, and I believe that He will in His time. But in the mean time, my heart aches for her during Mother’s Day as she longs for the “child” she lost, and the child she has yet to receive. May God comfort her and all other “childless” mothers like her during this time.
Don’t know how I missed this post. But glad I found it … I needed it as I lost my mom to cancer 12/8/2002 and Mothers Day and Christmas are the hardest on me. I miss her so much it still hurts. She was my best friend. I miss everything about her and as I get older, I see her surfacing in me! I wish she were here to see my children grow up. They were 7 and 11 when she passed. She would be proud of them and their Christian walk.
Beautiful article! Thank you!
My mother is alive but chooses not to take part in mine or my siblings lives. When my brothers were 7 and 6 she left in the middle of the night, never to return until after I was an adult. I have begged and pleaded for a relationship with her because I want that mother daughter bond and she continually shuts me out. I am a mother of 2 beautiful babies that don’t know there grandmother. My grandmother was the closest thing to a mother I had and God called her home 4 years ago. The day before she passed her last words to me was “I love you and don’t let them kill me” later that day she died of a heart attack. Mothers day for me is a time of sorrow and yearning for a motherly bond. Its truly heart breaking. …..
Wow! What I miss – the time she spent with her grandchildren; the way she could make anything grow, her smile, her love! What I loved – her wisdom, her unhurried lifestyle. What I wish she might have done different – stood up for herself and realized what a jewel she was. What I wish I’d said – I appreciate you and love you. What I wish she knew about her grand babies – how much they talk about her and that they moved into her bedroom permanently. What makes me your mother’s daughter – I am caring and strong just like her. She was an amazing woman and she left an amazing legacy. She treated everyone as though they were a gift — she could always make anyone feel better.
I am a mom by the awesome GRACE of my heavenly Father! My mom, is a Nana by that same Grace! We had 5 miscarriages before we decided to finally surrender to God’s plan. Our 14 year old soon to be 15 is vibrant, funny, smart, demanding, and loves the Lord! Praise God! She wants her beautiful Aftrican American hair to be straight but sometimes it just won’t cooperate with her or the flat iron! She doesn’t give up and has a heart of gold! I often wonder if who she is is a part of me or part of her biological mom! I guess it is both! I love her so very much and wish my mom, her Nana, knew her. Mom, you are only 4 hours away – why don’t you come visit more often!?
I just wanted to share that I am blessed with my mother… She is 77 and I thank God for her every day…. I lost my father suddenly when God called him home on His 53 birthday… Mom was 52 then, She never stopped caring for her family of 7 children… Her love has never once diminished… She taught her family and continued to raise us when Daddy was gone… She is by far the Proverbs 31 woman… She has labored and struggled to raise her family. She never complained, all the sacrifices she made… Now as an elderly woman her body is changing, She has grown weak and tires easily…. but her love has never diminished…. I’m who I am today because of the greatest mother in the world…. Mine…..
Thanks for these poignant words. Mother’s Day is a hard time for many. May this be a comfort to them. God bless.
I miss her smell.
My mother and I have never had a very loving relationship. I was raised in an abusive home and went into foster care at age 12, aging out of the system to life on my own 6 years later. I’ve tried for over 20 years to have a more “real” relationship with my mother, but she isn’t capable of something like that and she doesn’t have the capacity to “mother”, or (and this especially hurts my heart) to “grandmother” my children. I am not angry with her, but I am deeply hurt by her lack of ability to relate to me, to engage in a healthy relationship with me or my children, and her apparent disregard for us, of which I am made ever more aware each time a holiday or birthday rolls around and she doesn’t contact us. We have now only spoken about 5 times in the last 3 years, and each time has been an argument. We moved to another state 3 years ago, and she hasn’t seen my children since about 6 months before we moved away. Hurts my heart. Thankfully, my children know they will never experience that same relationship with me and they know how much I love them…every day I tell them!!!
This was beautiful and very intimate. Thanks for sharing.
This will be my 2nd Mother’s day without my Mom. She died from cancer just after her 80th birthday. I still miss her so much. It just hurts to know she is gone. My only consolation is that I will see her again. We just laid my mom-in-law to rest 2 days ago. We will see her too!praise God for godly mothers.
Lysa, Your article here brought back the past for me also. I lost my Mom when I was 12. Then my oldest sister took my brother and me in. She had 6 of her own. My Dad died when I was 2. I have never known what it was really like to have parents. Especially a Mother. I have an older daughter, at the time I made mistakes with her. I have a 2nd daughter and I try to make sure I don’t make those mistakes again. I love them both very much. I also have a son whom I love very much. I can’t understand how a Mom could neglet her children. Children are very precious. I would take them all in and love them if I could. Hoping all of you have a wonderful Mother’s Day.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful part of your soul. Mother’s Day is a time of very mixed emotions. I am adopted. I came to live with my parents Mother’s Day weekend in 1968. I consider myself greatly blessed to have been chosen by God to be raised in my family. Mother’s Day is a day of celebration for the woman I call “momma” and for the time I began my true life in a loving home. Yet, I always ponder my biological mother’s existence during this special time of year. Does she have other daughter’s to celebrate her? Does she wonder about me? Does she miss me? Is she sorry or satisfied about me? Would we have been close like I am with my mother today? So many questions that can often make the day very difficult for me as well.
Thank you for showing us the other side of motherhood.
R
This was very touching , I can’t wait to read the book
I want you take my hand too.
I lost my mother when I was 24 and I am now 35 … with 3 beautiful children I am busy everyday and they keep my saddness at bay. My daughter was born after my Mother passed away but she reminds me of her so much that it startles me sometimes. I miss my Mom’s laugh the most I think, and the way she loved her family unconditionally. I hope she is proud of the Mother I have become.
I am a mother of 3 very active boys. My oldest son has autism. Wow what a unexpected story that god has laid out for me, being a mother is so much harder than I thought. Daily In moments I am reminded of god and his grace for me. And my boys they forgive me often.. Motherhood is hard but so worth it.
I was blessed to have a wonderful mom who was also my best friend. Her unconditional love was always there for me. I miss her hugs and the prayers she prayed aloud over me as I raised my six children. I love that we shared a deep love for Jesus and every time we talked, which was almost daily, He was somehow a part of our conversation. I got to be with her when she passed into glory, into His arms, and I can’t wait to see her again, and be together forever with the Lord!
Thank you for sharing, I lost my mom 44 years ago when I was 6 years old. I still miss her today. I miss her smile, oh how she could light up a room. I miss when she would take me to the movies once a week when my dad had his card games at home. I miss her hugs and stories. I miss I never got to have more time, also how when she was gone my dad left also at least emotionally. He was never happy or smiled after she died. It was like he was mad at the whole world, mostly it seemed mad at me. I miss the mother daughter times everyone has on Mother’s Day. May your da on Mother’s Day be filled with all of Gods Love and Joy.
Beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes. My mother isn’t gone, but she’s off limits. It hurts so much to have never really had a mom because of the fact that she’s always chosen her addictions over her children and now grandchildren. I’m 29 and lost my husband 2 years ago to cancer. Oh how I needed my mother then but I couldn’t reach out to her. My oldest son was diagnosed with autism last year, and I can’t even talk to her about it. He also had a seizure and had quit breathing and was diagnosed with epilepsy this year. I never even called her after we were taken to the hospital in an ambulance, it didn’t cross my mind. She’s just not really apart of our lives and it hurts so much because all I want is to be held like I hold my boys and that will never happen. But God has stepped in and holds me when I need it most. He’s had to become mother, father, and husband and I know He’ll never fail me.
I became a mom at 18 years old. It was hard at
Times due to my own immaturity but with Gods
Help my daughter and son have always been the
Joy of my life (III John:3). I now love their spouses as
My own children too plus God has blessed us with
8 GRANDchildren ( and one GRANDson-in-law so far) To God be the Glory Great
Things HE hath done!!
I too am a Motherless Mother. I was born when Mama was 44 years old and she was only 55 when she passed away. Both my parents were killed in an automobile accident. I was in the accident too so I didn’t get to go to the funeral. God protected me then and provided for me. My two sisters and brother who were already grown and had families raised me, mostly my oldest sister. I didn’t marry until age 28 and my husband and I both had to have infertility work ups but after 5 years of marriage we had our precious daughter Emily. She is so creative and adventurous. We are so blessed to have her. She has her Aunts and Uncles to be surrogate Moms and Dads. Her cousin’s children are closer to her age. God has blessed me so much to be her mother. She is 33 and I am 66. We will not be together on Mother’s Day because she lives in another country for a while but she will be home this summer.
Thanks for having this special post. I, too, had a precious mother go home to be with her Lord when I had just turned 17. She had been fighting cancer for the previous six years and fought a very strong battle. 27 years later, I still feel difficult emotions when I hear “Victory in Jesus”, the song she requested to be sung at her funeral service. What a celebration of life. Although my son never met his “Grandma Dooan”, I can assure you he surely knows who she was. We talk of her often. Neither me nor my siblings were married or engaged when she went home t eaven, yet she took the time during those last few years to knit and sew baby blankets for her grandchildren that she would not know. She was not there with me when I had that precious little boy, but he was wrapped in a precious piece of her when we covered him in one of the precious little blankets she had knitted for him. Her warmth helped bring him home that day. Thank you again for sharing this.
This was beautiful, including the lovely pictures. My mother is a part of our girls’ lives, and we are all blessed by the gift of presence. This was a reminder that even when relationships ( including the mother/daughter relationship) are difficult, they are a means in which God teaches us more about Himself.
THANK YOU THANK YOU for the part about the mother who is emotionally unavailable. THANK YOU for the tears that will hopefully help me start to heal from the pain of not having a mom (different from mother) and from the pain of never having a child.
This spoke to me, so loudly. My mother passed when I was 22 and pregnant with my first child. I work hard to be present with my children, just like my mother was with me.
Thank you for this, I was with my cousin that has had her second child and her mom has been gone for a few years never seeing her grandchildren, brings tears to my eyes.
Mother’s Day is such a bitter sweet day for me. 5 years ago my husband and I and our 2 1/2 year old little girl at the time had to burry our little girl we lost in child birth. Since that time, we have added a little boy to our family. It is such a blessing to rejoice and have my 2 children here with me, however, my heart longs to hold my little girl that was here for only a few moments. We rejoice in knowing she went from my arms to the arms of Jesus, and we know that someday we will be reunited and I will spend an eternity of mothers days with her. Yes, motherhood has many unexpected twists and turns! Thank you for a beautiful treasure in the pages of this book.
What a sweet post. The book sounds interesting and like something my sister and I could read and discuss as we are both mothers now-and being a mom definitely wasn’t what we expected but it we both love our children so very much!
Made me cry. I have struggled with an emotionally absent mom for a very long time. She is broken and it breaks my heart. I have spent many years trying to find the right mothers day and birthday card that reflects our relationship and normally the most generic one fits the bill. I never get to buy the ones that say I look up to you or I know you are proud of me. Sad but true. I remember the days when she would tuck me in bed or buy me a birthday gift, but those days left a long time ago. I sometimes wonder if I delay my own milestones because I am embarrassed and saddened by the absence of my mother who is still alive how so you explain that to people. I do my best to cherish my daughter I hope I always learn from my mothers mistakes. I never want my daughter to ask “Do you love me” Like I use to ask my mother. Mothers day has always been bitter sweet but its now a time for me to make my own tradition with my daughter.
My mama has been gone for 5 years now. How I miss you Mama. You never got the chance to see how your great-grandchildren have grown into such wonderful young people. You welcomed all of them no matter how they came into our family and no matter what race they might be. How they would have loved you! Miss you always Mom but will be together in heaven one day.
My mom has been gone for nearly 2 1/2 years now. Cancer took her just before Christmas, and 1 week later I found out I was pregnant (10 weeks pregnant). I was pregnant after being told by doctors that I would not bear children of my own. I was pregnant, and I couldn’t share that with my mom. My heart hurts thinking she never knew, and she will never know her granddaughter or the grandson (who was just born this past Jan.). I miss so many things I would have/could have shared with her. Mother’s Day is especially hard. Thank you for this post. It helps to know we don’t walk this road alone.
Thank you for your inspirational words. My mother was in and out of hospitals due to Schizophrenia so she was not there physically nor emotionally. Now that she is gone I find myself wondering if there was something I could have done differently to connect with her on some level. It took me a long time to understand her illness and a lot of guilt to get over not being the daughter I should have been. I truly miss her and wish she could have understood how much I loved her and needed her. I am though truly happy that she is now a healthy and whole person sitting at the right hand of the father. Bless you and have a wonderful Mothers Day.
Thank you for this. Oh how I miss my mom. This year even more for some reason. I just do.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!! 🙂
I am a Mother-less Mother. My Mother chooses to not participate in my life or my children’s. She is in deep depression and it takes all that she has to exist. As much as I try to help she pushes me away. I wait for the day when she welcomes me in so I may be there for her. My Sister’s and I have each other and we pray each day for Mother and one day she will find her way. Thank you for your wonderful words. Sometimes it is hard to remember there are other families with the same pain. Thank you for reminding me to pray for everyone who shares a loss of a Mother.
Thank you for the inspiring note and prelude to this book! I am so excited to read this book! Regardless of the season we are in, motherhood is always full of new surprises, sometimes life changing, sometimes just the normal everyday little things! I lost my mom several years ago, and I miss her more and more with each passing day. I thank God for her everyday.. And all the things she was to me as a mother.. She was teaching me so many things on an every day basis, that I didn’t even realize at the time! I see her so often in my three daughters.. And the love she have them while she was here will last a lifetime for them! Thank you Mom for your genuine love, preserverence and generosity that shaped us in to who we are today. We will forever love you.
Thank you. Just… thank you
Sobbing here. My mother died suddenly on Thanksgiving 1986, I was 12. She woke with a sore throat and laid down with a cough drop in her mouth. A cough drop killed the person who taught me love. It wasn’t until adulthood I was able to see Thanksgiving as a gift. A gift of 12 years I did have her in my life. The Lord has truly blessed me with the best mother in law in the World. And I have two wonderful children of my own. Still. Sometimes the wound can feel as fresh as Thanksgiving 1986.
I lost my mom just this past November. Though our relationship has been strained at times, I still hurt and miss her terribly. She had a stroke that affected her brain stem and me, my sister, and my brother had to make the difficult decision to take her off life support. I’ve never been in that position before to make that kind of choice for someone else so that day often replays itself over and over again in my mind. We watched as she slipped away peacefully. Not a day goes by that I miss her. It’s a strange feeling not to have her there to talk to. It’s true what I’ve heard about losing a parent; no matter the relationship you have with your parents, you will still miss them when they’re gone. I lost my dad almost 23 years ago when my firstborn was only 6 wks old so it saddens me that my children will now be without grandparents. Thank you for today’s devotion. And if anyone who reads this would take the time to pray for my family, I would greatly appreciate it. God bless you.
Loni, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in September 2012, a week before my 15th birthday. She had a blood pressure-induced brain aneurysm and was put on life support with little to no brain activity. We took her off life support after she had been there almost a week. I still miss her all the time, and it makes me so terribly sad when I realize she won’t get to see me graduate, get married, have kids, or any of the milestones yet to come. But I know I’ll see her again, even if it seems like an awfully long time away. I will be praying for your family, and your prayers would be greatly appreciated. God bless you and your family!
I have a mother, I am a mother, I am an Aunt, and I am part of the village it takes for several friends! Love this!
I lost my mom Nov 2013, so this will be my first mother’s day without her…and I lost my dad April 2013..so it was a rough yr but I know..to be absent from the body you are present with the Lord. .I find some comfort in my faith.
I am a mother of 2 beautiful daughters, ages 21 and 19. I lost my dad when I was 8 years old so it was just me and my Mother until l lost her 18 years ago. Not to mention I am an only child so life has been lonely at times but God is always with me! He is my comfort and strength!
My mom has gone through chemo this past year for lymphoma and I’m feeling very blessed to have her here this year. She’s really struggled with her health and we know it’s all in God’s hands so are trying to make the most of our days together! Thank you for writing this 🙂
I’m a motherless child 🙁 and Mothers Days is never easy for me…. Thank you for the support…
i just shared with my sister yesterday about the verse that speaks of the Holy Spirit Himself interceding for us with groans that words can not express. We were talking about the pain we have experienced with not having a mother available to us emotionally or physically because of her own issues. Thank you for sharing this and recognizing that it is not always an easy day for all of us.
My mom has been gone almost 5 years and I still wish I could call her 20 times a day.
Beautiful and perfect words – thank you
Touching truly touching. Re confirms my commitment to be there for my daughters as they walk the path of motherhood.
My mom has been gone 12 3/4 years. Although she saw my children be born, she didn’t see them graduate, I wish she could see my grandson, her great grandson. She was a wonderful mother and grandmother for the time we had her. I miss her soo much still. We would talk every day, sometimes numerous times just for silly things like “you can’t believe what I ate” or (your grand daughter just took her first step or said her first word ) I love her so much still and will miss her forever. Thank you Lord for the time we had with her and the wonderful relationship we had with her. I pray for all the moms out there who didn’t or don’t have that.
Thinking of my Mom who will have her first Motherless Mothers Day this weekend. Thankful that I am able to call her, love her, appreciate her!
What a blessing to win this great package on Mother’s day. Thank you for the opportunity. Blessings.
Thank you for this post. I am a mother of three. I have my mother whom I’ve never been close to because of her choices. I parented myself along with the help of my grandmother and aunt both have passed on. I miss those two and the sunshine and warmth they brought into my life. I have a second chance with my mother her now at 70 delicate years me in my 40’s. I’m not quite sure where to start except to give this relationship over to the one who knows the outcome even before the second chance happened.
Beautiful read. I am grateful for my mother overall.. but I’ve been struggling with the consequences of wanting to be close to a parent who knowingly does things that hurt her other children and me. It has made me see what kind of parent I want to be to my first child, whom I’m expecting this September.
Hi,
This is a general comment. There have been a lot of parenting posts on Proverbs 31 lately. I have no children and I live alone. I’ve come to accept all of that and remain defined by God’s love for me – is there somewhere an inspirational guide for aging single/divorced and childless women? We have a whole different set of issues. I know we’re the exception in the Church universal, but we need something to speak to us, too. I’m a published writer and would be happy to write such a devotional to fill the void, but I’d like to know if there’s already something out there. . .?
Thank you.
My mother died when I was eighteen from lung cancer. One day in July she had a seizure, and they found tumors in her brain that had metastasized from her lung. The following February she died.
My mother did well with the time she had with me. She managed to make me feel loved and supported while making me independent. So many women who lost their mothers later in life are more affected by it than I am. I earned a BSN in Nursing without her, I started a marriage without her, I had two babies without her. I took care of my father in his last years without her. My last baby was born with a severe medical condition that she was not expected to survive, but did by the grace of God.
I have done so much without her it is difficult to explain why I don’t miss her to others. Well, I do miss her, but not in the way people would expect.
I don’t miss her everyday, although I think of her. I miss her in the hours where I have no one to chase away all the nameless fears that drift in my head. I miss hearing stories from her about my early years. I have missed out at having more in-depth discussion of her opinion on so many things that affect my life. My relationship with her is stuck permanently at eighteen.
And I am not sure if this attitude is a testament to her mothering or to emotional baggage for me.
Lisa Jo
Thank you so much for the heart felt message to us. You have touched me deeply and as I sit here weeping and writing to you, all I can say is this is beautiful, timely and deeply touching. I will go to my mothers grave this Sunday as well with flowers in hand as a tribute and I will take you with me in my heart as well. My sweet sister, Happy Mother’s Day! Much love and hugs <3
Thanks for your inspirational, heartfelt blog…. This is my 1st Mothers Day without my Mom, and I’m crushed! Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Thank you, Lysa. This will be my first mother’s day without my mom. She passed away a month and a half ago from ALS. She was just 62. She fought to hang on and meet my baby boy, and got to spend a precious few hours with him before passing away when he was just 17 days old. My heart breaks every minute of every day missing her.
Thank you for this….I lost my mom just before I turned 14. At the time I didn’t let myself grieve, I just took over the work that she had done and buried myself in that and schoolwork. Eventually it caught up with me and I became terribly depressed. The Lord in His mercy used that time to turn my heart to Him and it was the start of my personal, real relationship with Him. I am thankful that He softened my heart and did not allow me to grow bitter, but that does not mean I don’t miss my mother. As I have become a mother myself, I have come to respect and understand her more, even though I can’t tell her that or talk to her about my kids like I would love to do. I am so thankful for the hope that we have of seeing her again. I wouldn’t wish her back to this broken world for anything, in fact I’m a bit jealous of where she is 🙂 She is before the Lord, singing praises and two of our little ones are with her. I look forward to the day that my other three children get to meet their precious “Grandma Nancy” – they will never know what a treasure she was!
This Mother’s Day will be the 19th Mother’s Day without my mother on this earth. Almost 20 years with out her, the pain is still there, but God is so faithful to remind me that He is good and so sovereign over all.
I lost my mom suddenly last May from a brain aneurysm. Mother’s day was the last day I ever saw her alive. This mother’s day I am 9 months pregnant with my first child. I dearly miss her guidance. I miss her hand smoothing my hair when I don’t feel good. I miss her voice telling me I can when I repeatedly say I can’t. I wish, more than anything that she could meet my son and do these same things for him. I know that because of her I will be able to be these things for him, though, and I could not be more thankful for that.
Angela, I am so sorry you lost your mother. I also lost my mother when I was 29. I was 8 months pregnant. I now have two boys both in college. I wish they could have know her and my father. I lost them both to cancer, Dad when I was 20. It’s a lonely journey but I take such comfort in knowing I will see them again. I will be praying for you.
I lost my mother to a brain aneurysm as well. I was 12 then (4weeks shy of 13). I’m 21 now and I miss her everyday. Walking into a season of life involving a serious relationship with a man who loves The Lord I deeply long for her counsel and listening ear. Praying for all of you tomorrow as we walk another motherless Mother’s Day.
I too lost my precious mom unexpectedly in May of 2013. The Sea of Grief has been one filled with anguish and sorrow, yet everyday I have ‘pockets of joy’ that are presents from The Lord. They remind me that I am not forsaken. I find it easier to pray for others so I will pray for you. My prayers for me are often just cries. I pray that you will (in time) be better and never bitter, whole and not broken. I know what it feels like to have your heart shattered in a million pieces, but my grief journey has taught me that God will not allow the pieces of my heart to blow away. In His time and way, He will sweep them all together and put my heart back together. We will be changed and though we will be scarred, we will be whole and used by Him again. I miss everything about my mom…especially my mother’s prayers, but I’m a mother (of 4….ages 21 to 7) and I will pray for you today! You’re doing good and you’ll make it!! God says so!
PS- griefshare.com has helped me tremendously
Oh Angela! I can completely relate. Although EVERY SINGLE SITUATION IS DIFFERENT (can you tell it bothers me when people say they understand?) but our situations were similar in that I, too, lost my mom very suddenly and completely unexpectedly. Although I had already given birth to my child, she was six months old the day my mom passed away. I share your wish that she was here to see my amazing, beautiful and strong-willed daughter. At the time of her death, I had not fully accepted Jesus into my life and believe the experience led to where I am in my faith today. Saying a prayer for you!
I lost my mom when I was 34 I’m the youngest from her nine children. I still miss her deeply but I know she’s with Jesus now in a way better place then here thank you so much for posting this and thinking about us that stood left behind without our moms
Thank you for sharing your story and for giving this opportunity to connect and share…
I miss my dear mother who has been with the Lord for 5 years now (7/09)- she died from brain cancer at age 68. I miss getting together for holidays, birthdays, and just because. I loved how she persevered through all her trials of life and gave so much to all of us – her love of life, always thinking of others, pouring into her children and grandchildren, encouraging me and believing in me. I’m glad that you knew all of my 6 children, your grandchildren, and that God ordained for little Aaron to be born on the day you found out about your brain tumor (8/2/07)- a devine blessing to go through your final two years of life with…. to be a grandma again. How I wish you could see them now and know your two great grandsons. As I go through life’s stages, turning 50 this year, I appreciate even more all the things you endured (teenagers!), my selfish ways, how hard it is to lose weight!, feeling overwhelmed – how much you did that was not noticed… We let you go in stages, how very hard it was, you were so strong and thought of us – you said you wanted to be able to live to leave a legacy – you did Mom, just by being you. I am my mother’s daughter, her only daughter – so encouraged by your life and memories of all our days together – drawing from your strength and example and blessed to know that you are with Jesus now and we will be together again someday forever in our new healed bodies…. I wish we had both known Jesus all those years – what really matters is that He brought you to true salvation and that you are with Him forever and that I am growing and learning here until we meet again. Missing you this Mother’s Day and always Mom. Thankful for all the years together….
I have written to you before Lisa Jo… read this before… missing my mom since I was 13. I am also the Motherless Mother of 2 sons and a daughter. Thank you again for your beautiful words.
Thank you for sharing your intimate story. Simply put–it is absolutely the most beautiful thing I could have read this morning. My Mom passed away 7 years ago and I miss her.
What beautiful words! My mother passed away 7 years ago, and I still miss her terribly. I am reminded of what an amazing woman she was, though, every time I look at my two daughters, 10 and 7. They got the best parts of her, and I am so thankful and blessed!
Thank you for sharing this, beautiful.
My mother at 16, left me at my grand mothers house as a newborn and did not return. Five years ago my grandmother went to be with Jesus. I miss her terribly and I am so thankful for everything she did for me and all the sacrifices.
Thank you so much for this lovely post. I miss so much about my mother, her laugh, her hug, her ability to always make things better no matter how bad it was. She just seemed so perfect, she smelled so good. The silliest things remind me of her. I wish she had met my husband and I wish she could have been there to hold my three children. We used to talk about everything and when I moved away from home we still talked every day. I still expect to be able to reach out to her and it has been 25 years. I am sorry that anyone else has to feel this pain, that anyone would have to lose their mother, especially when they become a motherless mother. Happy mother’s day to all of you out there and know that your mother is still with you. She is what has made you the mother you are – she is a part of you and you are imparting her into your children.
Erica, your words were so profound to me. Even after I moved away from my mom I still spoke to her everyday, sometimes twice or three times. When something important happens I still think I can pick up the phone and call her, now in the few quite moments of my day I talk to her like she’s sitting there next to me. It helps knowing she is watching over us, and gets a birds eye view of all the amazing things her grandchildren do. Thank you for sharing such personal and emotional feelings with us. May you find ways to honor your mom on Sunday! -Kristin (Rochester, NY)
And God bless all those who longed to recapture the bond with a mother through having their own children, but did not have the opportunity to become mothers themselves.
Thank you for sharing this incredible story, touching hearts helping others.
Thank you for finding the right words to say. Thank you for sharing your heart. I also lost my mother. I was 16. Walking the motherless mother road is difficult. Your words were healing. Blessings to you.
I was blessed with two mothers in my life but each has been taken from me. My mother died when I was 6 years old from cancer at the age of 38. I am the second girl and the second to the youngest child of 6. My father remarried when I was 7 and once again I had a mother and 7 more siblings. I am still the second to the youngest but now there are 13 of us. By the time I am 10 my new mother is sick, she is finally properly diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. My life is spent helping my father take care of her as she eventually becomes completely disabled. I am 28 years old when she dies and the mother of 3 children. I thank God she got to touch their lives even so briefly. Her disability was hard but it helped me to become the mother I am and the woman I am. I miss both my mothers every day but I know they are together in Heaven watching over me.
Beautifully written! My mother died 5 years ago, and I still miss her everyday. She was 83, and I am so blessed that I had her for so many years, and she was there while I was raising my children, and she even got to meet a few of my childrens’ children. However, even at my age now I still find myself wishing everyday that I could talk to her, or share something with her, or ask her advice, or just spend time together. There is just something so incredible about a mother’s love & acceptance.
I lost my mother 5 months ago and Im not feeling good to celebrate mothers day I miss her so much she was my best friend but I am a mother of 3 and have to think obout them not me .
This article really helped today. Its almost 10 years of moms passing. I struggle so hard today. I struggle as a Mkm of a 3 yr old. Thank you for sharing. Tea was our thing with my GMA too. Mom would just ladies tea parties. I miss them both.
This is my second Mothers Day without my Mama. Thank you for reminding me how blessed I was to have her for 50+ years. She was 92 when she went home to Heaven in God’s arms – the way we prayed she would the night before. Broke my heart that it happened on my birthday, but I know she was with Daddy, finally. Thank you, for reminding me she’s still right here with me. Thank you for reminding me that I was so blessed to have her last grandson on her 80th birthday, with her right there with me.
This brought me to tears. I was raised by my grandma because her daughter(my mom) had addiction problems and wasn’t stable to raise me. My grandma passed away last October and not a day as passed that I haven’t thought of her, mentioned her to someone, remembered her words or looked at her photo. I don’t know where I would be if it hasn’t been fir her. She taught me how to have a reverence for The Lord, showed me how to be a good wife and mother- to put my family first and I miss her deeply everyday.
I lost my Momma the day after my 24th birthday to suicide. I’m 51 now. My Momma didn’t share in my wedding, my children being born, my divorce, or ANY of the important Motherly milestones. I am a survivor of suicide trying to make mothers, fathers, and children be more aware of the signs of suicide and also a group of people who share in my same grief. Mother’s Day is really, really hard for me and usually cry a lot of the day, but my boys, who love me VERY much, get me through. Thank you for this page and all your blogs, books and things.
I lost my Momma the day after my 24th birthday to suicide. I’m 51 now. She missed out on my wedding, my boys being born, my divorce, my tears, and all other milestones that you need your mother there. Mother’s Day is hard for me and usually cry a lot of the day, but, I get through with the love of God and my boys, who love me SO much! I’m a survivor of suicide and I’m working with an organization that makes mothers, fathers, children aware of the signs of suicide and also mental health awareness. Thank you for sharing your story.
My 2 sisters &. Mother were going to spend a few days together with our other sister in Mississippi We tried to do this every year around Mothers bday , started when she was 70 and this year she would be 84. We had only been on the road about. 30 min when we had an accident . One sister & I was seriously injured but our Mother & other sister were killed instantly! This was on Feb 27,2002. I did not know of their deaths until May. I was in a coma until then! I miss them as much today, 12 years later, than ever! My Mother was an Angel & I did not even get to
Go to her funeral! I still feel guilty about still being alive and not
Them, and. I will watch the funeral service on video
On Mother’s birthday in March! Thank you for being to share this.
I love this. One of my dear friends lost her mother 10 years or so ago and I know she has a very emotional Mothers Day and it breaks my heart to see her so sad. Thank you so much for sharing this. I know she will love it!
I just stumbled across Lysa’s devotional “Am I a Bad Mom.” I was so encouraged by her words and thank her for sharing honest thoughts that moms everywhere truly feel, especially myself. I’m excited to read more on her website and I appreciate the honesty expressed about motherhood. Thank you Lysa!
My mom has been gone since 2005 and she was ready to go…we are just never ready to let them go. More sorrow comes from the fact that I relinquished my only child to adoption almost 48 years ago. In those days it was the thing to do but for my part, it was a really bad decision and even though I found him in 1997 and we had four years together until something that I don’t know happened and I get some photos of him and and my two grandchildren….the pain returns at night and especially on Mother’s Day. Love your writings.
My mom has had Alzheimer’s for the past fourteen years. She hasn’t known me for the past six. I grieve her loss daily. Every holiday, every Mother’s Day, every time I need advice. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for sharing this! I never did have a mom in my life, but am discovering motherhood with my own children.
I have 11 grandchildren now but my mother died before any of these special children came along. I know how much she would have loved and enjoyed each of them. Losing your mom is hard and at different seasons of life…can be even devastating. I know I us loved deeply and well taken care of my my mother and for that…I’m ever grateful.
I lost my Mom suddenly in 1979, married six months later, and we have a wonderful son that I wish my Mom had gotten to see & love on & cherish! Thank you for writing this! Awesome!
Had a mom into my 30’s, but she felt like I was a burden. She had four children total. But not having good memories & knowing I was an inconvenience really hurts. Especially watching & listening to others around this time.
My first Mother’s Day was also the first Mother’s Day I spent without my mother. You see, my husband and I adopted two girls from Russia on Oct 28th of 2002 and my mother passed away on February 20th of 2003. It was a very bittersweet one for me. I love her and miss her very much even after all these.
I lost my beloved mother when my own children were 7, 5 and 3. Now they are 23, 21 and 19. What do I miss? I miss being able to call my mom and ask her advice. I miss her sense of humor and quick wit. I miss how she loved to be with people, loved to travel, loved her family, loved The Lord. I miss gathering with my brother and sister and their families at my parent’s house for dinner and I miss all the laughter and good times. I mourn for all the “events” she missed: 8 high school graduations, 6 college graduations, 4 weddings, 3 great-grandchildren. I mourn that my children didn’t have more time with her before The Lord took her home. But I’m thankful for the wonderful memories that I cherish and that her legacy lives on.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother has also been gone for 20 years (I was 27 and my brother 18). All of the milestones that you mentioned have been tough for me as well. My oldest daughter was 2 1/2 when my mother died and she never did meet my other two daughters. I think about and miss her everyday.
I lost my mom six years ago this June. Some days it seems like just yesterday. Others like it has been years. I miss her so much. I was 34, unmarried and had no children when she died. I still am unmarried and have no children at 40. I’m hopeful that marriage is in my future, and thought I probably won’t have my own children, I am also hopeful that I will have the privilege of being a stepmom. I also am graduating with my Master’s degree next weekend. But it breaks my heart that my mother won’t be here for any of that. She won’t be there at my graduation. She won’t be there if I get married. She won’t be there when I have questions about raising a child or step-child. I know I will see her again one day, and I’m so thankful for that assurance. I’m so thankful for the time I had with her and for the relationship we had. But it doesn’t make those days easier when your friends get married or have a baby and their mom is there by their side. Or when you have a big life moment and want to call her. Or when you have a question that only a mom knows the answer to. I’ve learned how to “deal” with those moments and do my best to share in their joy. But those days are hard. Harder than anything else. Thank you for sharing this and for letting us know that those of us without our mothers here are not alone.
Awesome post.
Beautiful. I know so many ppl who no longer have their mom’s here….
My inupiaq Eskimo mother still living in Unalakleet, Alaska. It’s been a joy doing TerKeurst bible studies in Soldotna, AK, a Happy Mothers Day Lisa and Lysa
Would love a copy of this book for myself and to share. I am a mother of twin 8 year old boys 😉
Lost our mother 74 days ago… My sister and brothers and I are facing our first Mother’s Day without her tomorrow. She was a beautiful, warm, caring, giving, and a young 73 and we miss her terribly. She is with the Lord enjoying eternal life.
I Miss you Mom and love you even more : )
My mother died when I was 4 years old. I was the only girl with two brothers. I was in the middle. Now, 29 years later, I am a mother of three kids. Two boys and my little girl, also in the middle. As I raise my kids (especially my Olivia), I am so thankful for the time I have with them but also thankful for the time they have had with me. The older my kids get, the more I miss having my own mom.
I never got to introduce my Mom to my babies. To see her “ooh” and “ah” and watch her face turn red and her eyes disappear behind tears of joy.
I never appreciated the history keeper that my Mom was before she passed away. Dads don’t always pay as close attention to the milestones in their kids lives. Once I had my own kids I often fou d myself wondering “is that what I was like?” Or “How old was I when that happened?”. My Dad never knew so I feel like my history is gone. I will never know the answers to those questions.
As a Motherless Mother I am always caught in the middle of happy and sad on Mother’s Day.
God is so faithful, no matter how our mothers fell (or still fall) short~ or how we fall short. His design of a masterpiece despite pain is exquisite: lovingly chiseled, smoothed, given supernatural color. Beauty!
Had my sweet mom for 58 years til she passed last year, the day after Mother’s Day. She was 93. Miss her terribly.
I lost my mom when I was 19 years old. Right between my freshman and sophomore years in college. That was 14 years ago this year, and though it certainly gets easier, there are times that my grief is still so strong that it overwhelms me. My mom never met my husband, didn’t get to take part in my wedding, and wasn’t there when my three precious babies were born. There is absolutely no one that can take the place of a mother. Sure, the Lord has placed wonderful women in my life, and I am so grateful for that, but they obviously cannot replace that which I lost. I told my husband recently that one of the saddest things for me is that I never got to know my mom as an adult. I was still so young when she passed that I feel like we never got to the friend part of our relationship that I see my girlfriends have with their moms.
What about the mother who keeps reaching out to her daughter….telling her how much she loves her, misses her and how she can have fun with her “new” married family, but don’t forget about the one who was there for her entire life?! Who aches to hug her, who misses her so much at times the pain is unbearable, but that if the pain this mother has makes her happy, and she finds joy in her mothers tears, then this mother will endure it completely! All for her, and her new family that stole her away. A mother who will spend her day watching old movies and looking at old pictures of the wonderful Mother’s Days of past, and longing with happy tears, that one day it will happen again. That this mother will get her baby girl back. Happy Mother’s Day to the mother she celebrates with, as she must be a better mom than this one tried to be.
beautiful!!
Every Mother’s Day is hard. My grandmother figure is gone my other died with altzheimers and this past yr my aunt who was in a nursing home for too many years died. So this is not a great holiday. My own children do not have anything to do with me so I don’t get to enjoy my grandchdren. Who I miss dearly.
My mother died 10 years ago January 17th 2004. Since then we have adopted my youngest son’s daughter Emily. We already have her half sister Destiny. Destiny and I would visit Mom every chance we got. She would run down to her bedroom and say Grammie, here I am! Mom was not herself those last few weeks of her life. Demensia was setting in for the long haul so we never knew how she would be when we say her. Seems like Destiny brought the best out in her though as each visit with Mom was great and she acted like her old self. When she died most of my family was there. We spoke to her, laughed at our stories of our younger years. When I realized she was dying and would not make it out of the ICU, I prayed for the strength needed to carry on with out her. I felt the presence of Jesus with me. He filled me from head to toe with such Peace! I knew I would be able to make it after all with Jesus by my side. I miss you Mom and my other family members. I will see you when it is my turn to go to heaven.
Beautiful words – my Mum has been gone 8 years – my daughter ( teenager – estranged and lives with her father) has been gone 18 months so far – Mother’s Day is a double whammy for me 🙁
So.. I am heading out today to visit done friends for whom it is there first Mother’s Day – being a blessing is the best and only thing I can do today 🙂
Take heart lovely ladies xxxxxx
My Mother passed away almost 2 yrs ago just a few days before her birthday. She had fallen and hit her head and had several brain injuries. God allowed her to wake up long enough to tell me she loved me. And I got to tell her she was the best Mother anyone could ask for and thanks for sharing the story of Jesus with me. She passed away not knowing that she would be a great-grandmother for the first time come next March.
Lost my mom Thanksgiving Day, 1999. Sad but glad she is not hurting anymore (she had cancer). She was a born-again christian and is in Heaven now!
My mother passed away 3 and a half years ago. I miss her laughter. I miss how she could comfort me through everything. I love how she loved her grandbabies. How she loved me. I miss her smile and even her smell. She was strong and courageous.
My mother passed away two years ago. I know with God’s help and time it gets easier but ths year seems to be so hard. I have cried all week wishing I could talk with her just one more time.
Thanks for this wonderful post. My heart has been heavy for my friends who are grieving. We also live halfway around the world from my family. My Mom still doesn’t get to celebrate so many occasions with us but we cherish the moments we are given.
Thank-you for sharing. This is my first Mother’s Day as a mum of my beautiful 4 month old daughter but my fist without Mum. She passed away last July from cancer at just 48yo. My heart hurts and my arms ache to hug her. She was my best friend. I want her to hold her first granddaughter, to see both their faces light up with joy like it did for my sisters’ children. I want her to brush my hair one more time and call me ‘my girl’. It hurts but I’m so Blessed to be a mother myself.
I’m not sending this email for myself but…rather on behalf of Tiffany Ward Burdette and Brittany Ward Juarz. They both lost their Mom in the Oso, WA Mudslide, which happened on March 22, 2014. Their Mom’s body wasn’t recovered until 9 days later. Their Dad was critically injured but survived. He is in a Rehab facility, trying to heal so he can learn to walk again.
Tiffany & Brittany are seemingly managing on the outside but are torn to shreds on the inside. It has been…and still is a turbulent ride for these two young ladies. Tiffany has little children of her own but Brittany does not have any children. Each will probably celebrate Mother’s Day differently, based on their individual circumstances, but it’s going to be very difficult. For sure, they will probably celebrate this special day with their Dad and families, at the Rehab facility.
Tiffany and Brittany would both benefit from hearing from you. Happy Mother’s Day to you as well and…God bless you!
I’m estranged from my mother, but I try to remember some positive or happy times. I don’t want to go forward in life with hatred in my heart.
Thank you for describing so beautiful the love we have for our Mothers.
It has been hard since she left due to Pancreatic Cancer. She fought to the end.
8 years later I became a single mom….. Mothersless mother road is painful. Just by His grace….. Grateful for His unfailing love and strength.
Thank you for sharing your story! My mom left us when I was 14. Now that I’ve had many life experiences I can understand her a bit and why she did what she did. I only wish I could have talked to her about this before she died 8 years ago. I can now reflect on the good things about her and not the painful memories.
Motherhood is hard. My parents divorced when I was very little and my mom wasn’t around much as I was growing up. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes, I think the only reason I haven’t quit is because she did. It gives us a while different kind of outlook on parenthood.
What a beautiful tribute to all of us Motherless Mothers and Mothers as well. I just recently lost my Mother. I was abundantly blessed to have her in my life for 55 years she was an incredible lady. She battled cancer for 13 years, but she battled it laughing and mentoring to anyone she could, she planted a seed inside of me that is beginning to grow as an oak tree, strong and courageous, loving and sharing God’s love to others. I am blessed, but still alone without my Mother, my teacher, my friend. It is lonely, but I trust in God to lead me on. God never said being a Mother would be easy, and He certainly did not prepare us to have to say goodbye to the one woman in our life that, for me, made me who I am today. Thank you for sharing your books to others.
Such heartfelt words. It never ceases to catch me off guard how many women have lost their mothers at young ages. My mother and grandmother have been gone for eleven years. They were only 44 and 64…to young and too much to do for the Kingdom. I miss both of them so very much. I wish I had taken the time to ask them how they ever managed to raise teenage daughters…I have three girls if my own and there are days I need their advice so very much. I know there will be a day I see them again and I am so thankful for the twenty-three years I had with them! I pray the Lord comforts all of aching hearts tomorrow.
Almost 19 years sinse she went to be with Jesus, I was 13. Today is her birthday, she would have been 60. I miss that she didnt get to know my husband, to see that I’ve married someone with the same huge heart as my dad. To watch my sister get married and have her babies and see what a wonderful mom she is. I just miss having my mom here. All the little things and the big.
Thank you for this beautiful post.
This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story with us! I am blessed to have my momma however we live on different coasts 🙁 We do talk almost every day but I miss seeing her every day..especially this weekend! Happy Mother’s Day!
This made me cry. I miss my mommy.
Thank you! Mom’s been gone 21 years now and I miss her as much today as then.
This hit the spot. My mom has been gone 4 years now and she died the day before mother’s day that year…..it will NEVER be the same for me. My sisters and I have tried to build each other up on this day but its not working out well. Thanks for the reminder of where my focus should be no matter what.
My mother beat me and emotional abused me as a child. I was always told how horrible I was. At 8 I was diagonosed with diabetes. She wouldn’t even take off work to stay with me in the hospital, she worked for my gradfather so she had the opportunity. When I was 12 she divorced and remarried and no longer provided my diabetes medicine and always told everybody how I never took care of myself. I couldn’t function properly take care of myself and struggled my whole life. Never had a job where I could afford insurance, finally at 32 had a child a received Medicaid. My diabetes is so hard to control abd its a daily struggle.
31/2 years without my mom…hurts every day
My mom passed away 5 years ago suddenly. I was 24 and I was the one who found her. This is the first Mother’s Day that I have felt a loneliness with all the Mother’s Day gift out there. Cards, balloons, flowers and such. I miss her! We were great friends. She lived with me till she passed helping me as a young mom with my 3 kids and managing a home. I miss sitting on her bed and talking to her late at night. Listening to her talk about things and use her own little words in just the right way that made you laugh. How she would hug you just when you needed it and love you just when you needed it. I wish I could rewind time so I could appreciate life more with her. Wish she could see my kids and listen to them talk about The Lord. Be here to spoil them and love them like crazy. Life just isn’t the same with out her in it. She was a wonderful Mom and I couldn’t be the mom I am today without watching her out her heart into being a Mom for me. And many other friends. It is a blessing I was chosen to be her daughter. Thank you for your words. It’s heart warming to know your not alone.
I lost my mom 3 years ago. She died while in a nursing home but I so wanted to be there when she passed but was unable. I wanted to hold her hand and tell her how much she was loved and cherished. I miss her and feel her with me every day-she is gone but not forgotten.
My Mother has been gone for 6 1/2 yrs. & I still miss her very much. We were very close, I will be 70 in Oct., my Mother died just before my 63rd birthday, which was the day after her funeral.
It’s a sad time of year for me, even though I know that my Mother is not suffering anymore & she’s w/Jesus. My kids are spread out across the country ( I have 4, 2 boys & 2 girls, 10 grandchildren & 3 great-grandchildren, w/one due next mo. & twins in Dec, so 6 by the end of the year, The Lord willing) I am so blessed … But I miss the times when the grand kids were little & we all lived closer & got together more, with my parents present also. Dad passed 2 1/2 yrs. before Mom. They were the greatest parents & I was so Blessed to be their daughter. Soon I will see them again & Jesus, also a granddaughter & grandson who passed too soon ! God is Good … God Bless all the Motherless people this Mother’s Day. 🙂
Oh how this resonates with me…right down to her chosen funeral song too…It is well, with my soul…
Two sons and a daughter later that my mama didn’t get to rock as well & now watch blossom into the beautiful teenagers they’ve become, The girl looks so much like my mama and I revel in it. I am blessed for having the wonderful mother I had for 27 short years. And now, just memories of her. Yes, I am the motherless mother and this upcoming day is tough but God gives me peace that I will see her again one day.
My mother died 42 years ago when I was 8. I figured when I got older it wouldn’t hurt as much. Time does have a way of healing that raw pain, but I still miss her like crazy! You said it so beautifuly! I know she is heaven, and I can’t wait to see her, after I get to see Jesus of course. Thank you for saying what so many of us are feeling
Thanks for this, very beautiful and encouraging. I lost my mother just before I turned 6. Although I’ve had a wonderful step-mother since I became a mother, it is still a struggle to go through motherhood without my mom.
I lost my mother from cancer when I was in 8th grade. She was a very loving Christian mother. We saw her suffer from cancer, as she remained in our home until her home going. I still miss her after almost 50 years. My father remarried a wonderful woman who loved and accepted my father’s 3 children. Eventually they had twin boys when she was 40. She was a mother then grandmother within a year! So I was blessed with two wonderful women who were wonderful examples. In the past few years my stepmother got Alzeheimers and now lives in a care center. That is one of the saddest diseases. She no longer knows us. So mother’s day comes with mixed blessings, missing the mothers I loved, but grateful for having had their love and examples.
I lost my mom on Christmas day 1990, my husband had left me on my fortieth birthday. It was a very difficult year; driving back to Miss. on New Years eve I had my head on the window with tears streaming down my cheeks, Lord if I could just know she is with you. I quickly said I am sorry God I should not have asked that. My two year old granddaughter was sitting in the front and she was looking up in the sky smiling and waving. What are you doing, there is grandma barrett with Jesus, she said. She asked a few questions and started waving bye. God did not ave to do that but he knew how broken I was. I miss my mom everyday, but praise God I will see her again. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I lost my mother 17 years ago this May. I was 17 years old when she passed away and every day as I look into the eyes of my four beautiful children I yearn for her. I know she is in heaven with Jesus and I am so grateful for her to b there and no longer suffering here in earth but I wish she could be here as a part of my adulthood. Thank you for these beautiful words of comfort as this bittersweet celebration of Mother’s Day comes upon us. And thank you to my special friend who shared this with me 🙂 may God Bless you all
Thank you for sharing. My mom went to be with Jesus 3 months ago-she was 66. I miss the sound of her voice. I’m an only child and we were really close. Even when she moved several states away we would talk on the phone daily. I miss the unnecessary phone calls if that makes any sense. The little things. The “call me when you get home so I know you made it safe” etc. I cherish the relationship we had. She taught me to love Jesus. I have taught my 2 sons & daughter the same. We know she is perfectly healed happy and busy serving in His presence. I just REALLY miss her. Trying to stay upbeat for my own kiddos thank you for letting me share
This is such a beautiful post. Mother’s Day is bittersweet when your mother lives in heaven, yet your children give you such sweet hugs and heartfelt gifts. Such a happy/sad day.
Such a beautiful message. My son & I will be celebrating Mother’s Day with my wonderful mother/grandmother that I am so very thankful to have been chosen to be her child. My mother & I are very close but unfortunately her relationship with her mother (my grandmother) is not on the best of terms. My heart goes out to my family members & friends that will not be able to celebrate this day. I do feel that my friends who have lost their mothers are in some way a wonderful reflection of their mother even though I never met her. Today would have been my grandmothers (paternal) birthday. She was so very special to not just me but our entire family. I send much love to all mothers. Happy Mother’s Day.
This is just beautiful. God bless and comfort you.
My mother decided when I was ten that I was too much trouble to love and so emotionally walked out of my life. Now 49 years later, I continue to grieve a mom who never was that to me. I hurt so deeply!!!! I have three incredible kids and two daughters by choice, but I still HATE Mothers Day.
My mother beat me and emotional abused me as a child. I was always told how horrible I was. At 8 I was diagonosed with diabetes. She wouldn’t even take off work to stay with me in the hospital, she worked for my gradfather so she had the opportunity. When I was 12 she divorced and remarried and no longer provided my diabetes medicine and always told everybody how I never took care of myself. I couldn’t function properly take care of myself and struggled my whole life. Never had a job where I could afford insurance, finally at 32 had a child a received Medicaid. My diabetes is so hard to control and its a daily struggle. Apparently God hates me because she has everything she ever wanted in life. I had to move in with my abusive father who also is enrichly blessed and he blatant hates God. I am tired of paying their price for their mistakes while they have never had to pay their price for their mistakes. I have paid dearly for mine and their mistakes and I can not take it anymore. I am not a quiter but I have had it. I am trying to keep the faith but something has to give. I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and keep getting blows to the face nonstop while God is just watching. Everyone says I would hate to be you well I have hated being me since I was a kid. I know circumstances don’t define you but I have had enough beatings since I was a child. My so called “christian“ mother tries to destroy everything good for ne. She called DCF and said I was threatening my kid. I haven’t talked to her in years. I love my kid, why would you call and make up lies and try to intentionally hurt your child. L look at my child and could never imagine saying the things my mother said to me. I am the one that is struggling my butt off financially, health wise. Tired of the struggle and hassle. The best thing I ever did was end the relationship with my mother.
My mom died last November as a result if lung cancer which metastasized to her brain. I am still in shock. I cared for her in my home for almost 2 years- 2 wonderful years! It was only the last 3-4 weeks of her life that she was unable to care for herself. Mom had a fabulous sense if humor. My son, her first grandchild, was her light…he will graduate from high school in 2 weeks and I had so hoped she would be there. I miss so many things about her- I depended on her for so many things. I miss her laughter- I miss her advice- I miss her telling me that everything’s gonna be ok. I just plain miss her.
this post was beautiful. i haven’t talked to my mom in five years. emotionally unavailable. sometimes i stop and think {wow it’s been a long time}. tonight, this past week, my heart prays for my daughter’s best girlfriend’s mother. she lost her 19-year-old son to suicide a week ago tomorrow {mother’s day}. my heart has cried many tears for her over the past week. i would love to read your book! thanks for the giveaway!
I lost my mom 32 yrs ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think about her, miss her,& wish she was here. My mom didn’t get to see my daughter grow up and and see the Godly man she married and the three wonderful great grand babies my beautiful daughter gave her. I miss you so much more than words can ever say.
I just wept while reading this article. Thank you for opening up and sharing your heart with the world. My mom passed away at the young age of 38 due to a car accident. My brother was 21, I was 19, and our baby sister was only 9. I am now 38…this 38th birthday hit me pretty hard. I am now the age my mom was when she died. She was so young. She was amazing! She was a very young mother and sacrificed much of her life to be a mom. She was not perfect…but she was mine! I have forgotten the sound of her voice which truly pains me. I pray that I can dream about her just so I can see and hear her again but have not in a very long time. I however remember her look…you know, the motherly eyes. I remember her laughter, especially when she laughed from the depths of her soul and it resulted in snorting. I seemed to have inherited this trait. I remember her cleaning my ears, I know that sound odd but who else cleans a child’s ears? I remember her talents, she was a moderate seamstress which I believe was mostly self taught, I also inherited this talent. I remember the ugly afghan she would fall asleep in the couch under and the horrible crocheted house slippers she would wear. I remember her always being late…I mean really, we were late to our own birthday parties most years. I remember her coloring her hair because apparently women in our family gray early, uhh hum! I remember her pregnant with my sister and the day she came home from the hospital and how happy I was to have such a tiny little person to love and assist with. I remember the moments in which she lost her cool as we all do as mothers. I remember the rough teenage years as she desperately tries to control me to save me from being a young mom as she had become. I understand her actions came from love and fear however I also still don’t agree with her choice of tactics. I remember her each day, sometimes the faults creep in as I parent my own child and what all she taught me. Most of all I remember that she loved us…she was my mom and although God has given me a fantastic step mother to love there will never be another mom like mine. I thank God for picking me to be her child and it has taken a long take for me to forgive Him for taking her away. I know that sounds selfish and backwards and wrong but I was angry for many years. I now try to focus on the years He gave us…not the years I feel He has taken away. Thank you for sharing and much love to you all!
Beautiful !!
My momma has been gone 5 years, 5 months and 8 days…but who is counting, right? I miss her tight lipped smiles. The way she sipped a Diet Pepsi all day. Dancing to the blues with her.
I missed her meeting her granddaughter…my daughter was born 2 years, 1 month and 14 days after my mom died. My dad died just 4.5 months after his wife of nearly 40 years had left to prepare a place for them in the Kingdom. I miss them so, so much.
Thank you for sharing this. I was 25 when my Mother passed away from cancer-she was 59. 6 months after she passed away, I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Just under 4 years after our son was born, our daughter was born. After my Mom passed away I found a prayer she had written asking The Lord to allow her to live to see her youngest child’s children….needless to say, I cried. But, I’m so thankful to have the peace of knowing I will see her again. I also know my children will meet their Grandma one day, as both out children are saved. I try to share stories of my Mom with them as much as I can. Never ever would of thought I would be a Motherless Mom
Beautiful, emotional words! I lost my Mom a year and a half ago very suddenly to cancer. She was only 56. I miss talking to my best friend everyday! I miss her quiet words of advice and parenting support. 33 is too young to be motherless. I wish she could hold her beautiful grandchildren again but am so thankful they will remember her! I am thankful for the years I did have with her and the hope we have of seeing her again!
Oh. I miss my mom so much today. She passed away 13 years ago this week. I am one side of her my sister the other. I am a very different mother than she was. But the profound love that was deep down even if rarely seen lifts me every day. It is well with my soul.
Thank you for these beautiful words. Today my friend is buring her Mom. Brain cancer, the day before Mother’s Day. I could not bear to even think about how every Mother’s Day will be. I buried my Mom on my 50th Birth Day, not a day goes by I do not wish she could be with me to experience my daughter’s joys in being a Mother. I think of how my Grandmother must have felt about me, as I ameith my granddaughter Ava. Oh the bitter sweetness of being a Mom. I would not trade it for anything. My heart hoes out to those who have long desired to be a Mom and are still waiting. Praise God for his unending love and comfort!
Thank You for sharing – with me – about me. I was all of 16 years old when I lost my Mother to Cancer. Back in the early 1970’s not a whole lot was known or done about it. “Cut the lump out”. And it spread – very quickly. At that time, I had no idea of how sick she even was – I couldn’t comprehend it – I hadn’t even met “Death” yet. I miss her as much now, as I did then. As much as when I had my first daughter and my second one as well. As much as when my own daughters had their first and second children. The things I would just love to share with her now. With tears streaming down my face once again; for countless times this Mother’s Day in particular, I say Happy Mother’s Day Mom – Wish You Were Here. I LOVE YOU, Deb
Thanks for sharing!
My mother passed away 22 years ago. She never got to meet her youngest granddaughter, nor her 4 great grandsons & 2 more great brands on the way.
I lost,my mom to cancer 15 years ago and I miss her everyday. She missed my hs and college graduations, my wedding, the birth of my son and all of my other life events. I just focus on the good memories and strive to tell my son all about her. God has blessed me with an amazing stepmom, MIL and grandma, who coukd never take the place of my mom, but they help fill the gap. I miss my mom so much and hope I’m half the woman and mother she was.
My mother died when I was 9. How I wish I had known her! At 11, my father married a hard woman who, knowing my mother when she was alive, looked at me with jealousy and dislike. Through the grace of God, we learned to love each other, and she parted this earth my friend. Unfortunately, I have never had the opportunity to have children. I have a wonderful Godly husband, and have many blessings in my life. But the absence of children is painful to this day. We were never able to adopt financially, or even to be considered by adoption agency’s, so I just have to believe that it is God’s will. Mother’s day is always hard. It is good to know there is someone out there who understands.
Thank you for your insight..I am a mother and my own mother is absent, ive given of myself 100% to make the relationship work and she doesnt give an inch. Thank you for having the right things to say when someone needs it most. God Bless you!!
My precious mom has been with Jesus 7 years this month. When I was 16 she sat by my hospital bedside while I battled Cushing’s Disease. Then at 28 she was there when I had a brain tumor removed. Now I’m 54 and found out yesterday the brain tumor is back. I’ll have to go this one alone – well, never alone. My sweet Jesus was with me then and He’ll be with me this time. It’s just comforting hearing your mom say, “You can do all things through Christ” and reminding me this did not catch God off guard as she gently kissed my forehead. Happy Mother’s Day, love you momma.
I am a woman who could not be a mother…physical issues. This is a very hard holiday for me every year! I do have a wonderful mother, and I celebrate that…but there is always something missing…a void that cannot be filled and a burden of guilt that my amazing husband would never know the joys of fatherhood…this holiday makes me so sad! There is always a flood of tears just at the surface…there are no words to comfort me..i’ve been married for 27 years now and this pain does not go away! – denise
I have a special place set aside for these already!! Blessings2you!!
This is a gem. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for this post, I really needed it today. I am not yet a mother, but am estranged from my mother as is another one of my siblings. My older sister however, is not estranged, and the pressure from her and other family members to ‘Honor thy Father & Mother’ cuts me, especially on occasions such as this. It’s a difficult concept to comprehend sometimes, you know? Can you honor your parents from a safe distance – with lack of contact???
Anyway, that you very much for this, it was truly helpful today.
I miss my mothers laugh. Her smile. Her embrace. She had a way about her – everyone she met felt comfortable, and everyone close to us loved her. She would dance across the floor with a pot of green beans in her hands as she moved it from counter to stove. Always for us,even when we didn’t get our way. She loved deep. She hurt quietly; alone. She died with dignity after losing her battle to breast cancer. When she resigned herself to facts-it simply was too late and too far spread. She chose quality over quantity. I miss her. Thank you, Lisa-Jo for the perfect words for the Motherless Mothers. Blessings
My mother passed away 12 years ago. She was not here for the high school or college graduations of her grandchildren, nor for their weddings, & also the births of their children, her great – grandchildren. We did not have a very close relationship because mom was an alcoholic. There were a lot of very bad times for my sisters & I, but you only get one mom, so we did our best to love her even through the terrible things that happened. It took me until I was in my early 30’s to finally forgive her for the past, to which her only reply was “Let’s let bygones be bygones”. My sisters & I were there at the hospital when she passed away. Her last words to us were “I love you & I am so sorry for everything”. The next day she was unconscious & passed away 4 days later. My heart hurts when I see other women with their mothers by their side or I hear them talk about something that they shared recently with their moms. I miss her every day & have wished a thousand times that I could pick up the phone & call her. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you & miss you so much. ♡
I have been plagued with illness since my mother passed and if there is one person you want when you are ill it’s your mother. She can comfort like no other. Her great-grand daughter is on the way & I hate that she won’t be here to meet her. Those are only two reasons I miss her. There are so many more.
Would love to read this book
Prayers for those I know who are motherless this year including my own mom and dad who mourn their moms.
I lost my mom when I was 34. My daughter was nearly 8 and still misses her too. I hate that she never got to meet my son, my grandsons, or the granddaughter who is due soon. Every single day, for 18 years, I have wished I could pick up the phone and talk to her again. We had marathon phone conversations, and could laugh until our sides hurt. I am blessed that I am able to have that with my daughter, but if Mama were still here, she’d love playing with all the kids and laughing at the mayhem.
I was 18 when my mom passed away. She went into the hospital February 6th and passed march 6th 2004. I will be 29 this year I have 2 kids and husband that never had the chance to meet her. I cry all the time because I miss her so much, it feels like yesterday that I lost her, I feel like I’ve lost half my life. I miss hearing her voice and giving her hugs, I miss joking with her and hearing her laugh. She was such a marvelous woman and was so strong until the very end. I just wish that she could be here with me and share my life with me.
I lost my precious mother when I was just nine years old (now 46 with my one and only 5 year old son) and miss her terribly. Some days I have trouble remembering her face but I will always remember her wish for her 5 children, that all of us grow up knowing Jesus. All 5 are walking with the Lord! I’ve gone through life being sad about all the wonderful moments in my life that I could not share with her. Graduations, marriage and the miraculous birth of her grandson, but I know that she is smiling down from heaven on my life. Thank you for your heartfelt words Lysa, they mean more than you will ever know. <3
I would love to win a copy of this book.
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I miss singing in the car, belting out duets. I miss coffee and talks on the deck. I miss going home for the holidays. I miss that she knew that I like cold pork and beans not baked beans when I could never remember which was which.
And I am so angry that addiction and mental illness took her from our family. I hate that she walked out with no regard for where her children would spend Christmas. I am angry that she broke our family. And I am bitter and enraged that she places the blame of our broken bond on me.
God Bless you all and Thank you very much for sharing. May these memories of these ladies that have lost their moms be reminders to all of us that still have our mom’s to cherish every second we get to spend and be with our moms.
Everyday I look in the mirror and thank my mom for living in me.
I lost my mom suddenly in 2009. It was 9 months later that I became pregnant with the first grandchild. I would give anything for my Son to just feel her embrace one time. She was an amazing mother and my son looks just like her! His eyes are her eyes and every moment he spends gazing up at me I feel her with me. Thanks for this beautiful article.
I wish that I had not failed her in her final days. This woman who never, ever, ever once failed me. I wish I had been better. Just that one time.
THis is the first year that I am not looking forward to mothers day. I grew up in an emotional challenging family. I also have alot of medical problems. I have chronic back pain, (scholiosis & spina bifida occulta). I have fibromylagia(which causes alot of other problems such as raynauds disease) I have always gone to alot of my doctors appointments alone and handled all of my medications. My mom raised me to believe I could only trust her and her alone. I always made up excuses for why she let my family say some of the stuff they said. Or how my cousin would make disgusting sexual comments toward me. Then on thanksgiving of 2013 I walked into the living room at my grandmas and heard my cousin again making nasty comments about me, TO MY MOM. Right then I felt a bomb go off in my heart. I realized that she was partially at fault too, and is not who I thought she was. I started remembering past memories I made myself forget. I am 23 years old, I cut off my family 6 months ago. God have favor on all of our heavy hearts tomorrow. God Bless.
Thank you for sharing and reminding us that we’re not alone on Mother’s Day or any other special day that we want to share with our moms. My mom passed away in 1990 just 28 days after my brother, mom and dads only son. The year that followed was such an emotional and spiritual growth year for me. I’m happy to say that I feel the most awesome ‘gift’ she gave me and ‘trait’ of hers I have is PRAYER. My mom was a prayer warrior and I’m proud to say that today I am also. I didn’t understand all she did for me and taught me and examples she lived before me before me till I lived life also and realized so many of her ‘ways’ I had. I pray that I am passing strong traits and gifts on to my children and grandchildren. Thank you momma for a Christian home and your love!!
Tomorrow is a day of joy and sorrow. Always a conflict. Abandoned, adopted, left again, all a struggle still. I am thankful my birth mother gave me life. Thankful for my two biological and one adopted children, and for my three grandchildren. Miss my grandmother, who I spent my young years with after my father’s passing at age three, miss her more than I can express. And I miss my mom who passed suddenly three years ago in April. She was never able to emotionally connect with me, but in her last days she tried through broken speech abilities to bless my son and newly adopted daughter. Oh how I wish I could have known or gotten to know that ”mom.’ I do love you mom.
I am in my second year without my mother (and without my father as they passed 17 days apart). What do I miss? Everything. Sunday afternoons with my kids at our feet in their tiny living room, cooking with Mom, calling to tell her the silly things my kids did, enjoying the beauty of creation each spring with her, the smirk she gave me when she knew I needed to take two steps back but knew I wouldn’t do it if she told my stubborn heart out loud, long afternoon talks just because, the way she made every holiday special (even the small holidays)…I even miss those long days when we had to travel 90 minutes each direction for chemotherapy because at least I was with her. What I think I will miss forever is that I don’t get to watch her grow old. I watched as God did great things through her and in her in her last couple years, and God did great things in me and is still doing great things in me because of her, but I will always want her back, will always want my young mama to be here for the important stuff. I always thought it a blessing that I had a young mama (she was a young 18 year old wife and mother when I was born), and I always believed we would be old together, or, at the very least, I would watch her grow old. I wonder what that might have been like. Thank you for this post. I cried through it, but sometimes crying is therapeutic.
My mom passed away 4 months ago on New Years Day. This is my first Mother’s Day without her. Thank you for writing this.
We really do live in an Upside Down Kingdom! Many children have their mothers and do not want a relationship with her, for whatever the reason. Then you have children who have lost their mothers and they would give the world to have her back. Sometimes life is very difficult to figure out! Another reason God provided a Savior for all who want a relationship with Him. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all other things will be added onto it! Matthew 6:33 Glory!!
My mother has been gone for five years and yet there are times I reach for the phone to call her….suddenly I realize I can’t call her…. so I look to the heavens amd say a prayer. Mom I love you and miss you
I lost my Mama on July 17, 2013. I am a Motherless daughter. I have no children, except my students and grandstudents. These are very much my “babies”. Everyone who is motherless understands how things trigger emotion where Mama is concerned. Today I am missing her very much.
I’m reading this and shedding tears at the same time! The Lord knows how much I’ve longed to have that godly mother daughter relationship with my mom. Unfortunately she has always hurt everyone around her, and I have always been her main target. Thank you for this post, it has comforted my heart!
I lost my Mom in February – thank you for this post <3
What beautiful words! Happy Mother’s Day!
Beautiful story
I am planning my daughter’s wedding….and missing my mom more than ever through this process. She would be so proud of her and the amazing and beautiful young woman of God she had grown up to be.
This is my first Mothers Day without my mom. She died last Oct of brain cancer. She died 3 weeks after we found out she had it. I am so glad she knew my 2 kids and their kids. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
I lost my mom 25 years ago this week. I was 17 in my senior year of high school. She committed suicide the week before my prom and the month before I graduated. I miss her all the time, I think more now that I am a mom and need her advice and a listening ear and support. She was my encourager and she loved so beautifully. She was the kindest, sweetest person and took care of everyone else but herself. She struggled with depression but unfortunately in 1989 there wasn’t a lot of help and education and support for depression. I have always felt ashamed to tell people because she was an amazing strong Christian. Suicide and depression doesn’t define who she really was but sometimes that’s what the pain from her death has me remember. I miss her beautiful smile and her being here to meet my husband and two girls, 11 and 15. There is a hole that no one ever can replace. I feel like she is the only one who truly loved me for me. I did miscarry two babies and have comfort knowing they are in heaven with their Grandma. I can’t wait to get there!
I barely know my mom. I grew up only with my dad. I really don’t understand what it is like to have a mother or to be a mother. My biological parents were separated by the time I turned four years old. I am almost seventeen now. My dad remarried, but the woman that leads the role of mother in our home is always busy. Thus, I’ve never really had a mother-daughter relationship. It makes me feel like I am missing out in life. My biological mother is in jail right now, it’s been that way for the last three-four years. She was a drunk, sexually immoral, broken, and lost “mother” that I only saw once a weekend or so. Every time I did, I wittnessed beatings by her boyfriends, drunkenness, smoking, bad movies, and yelling. I did not have a relationship with her, only brokenness!!!! D””: The only thing that she did to express her love to me was to buy me things. I really did not like that. I felt lonely. My dad was my best friend and leader at that time. He took on the role of being mother and father to me. Rough, I know! Even now, only my dad is the parent that really understand me and has a that “biological parent- to- child relaltionship” with me. Until I read this blog, I didn’t realize that it bothered me like that. I’ve been upset about these things a long time, but the Lord usually brings peace to my spirit! Blessed be the Lord! Thank you for this blog. It opened my eyes a little bit to the emptiness I have inside concerning mother-daughter relationship. :'( -Icie
I lost my mom when I was 15 – this post made my eyes flood with tears that I thought I had already cried. Thank you so much for this beautiful note.
My five-year old son asks, “What is a grandma?” It breaks my heart into a million pieces! Both my mother and mother-in-law have passed away. My son will never know the wonderful experience and love of a grandmother. It is very difficult to raise a child without the support of a grandmother. My husband and I miss our moms soooo much. Mother’s Day is a sad day since we do not have a grandma’s house to go to. Heartbroken.
Hello mothers and daughters.
I am 49, mother of 5. Just like my mother, 2 girls and 3 boys. Just like my mother.
I am also Nana of 2, a boy and a girl.
I never saw my mother again after the age of 2 or 3.
She died about 8 or 9 years ago. She would never follow through with “meeting” me. She raised my younger 1/2 siblings, sort of. But couldn’t bring herself to face me and meet me and her 5 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild, my grandson. I have been lost and confused emotionally, relationally and spritually for a long time. As I know she was, in her own way, in her addictions.
I AM on a better path than she could’ve ever perceived for herself. But it is and has been an empty hole in my heart and life, always. I just always hope and pray that hers and.my own emptiness will be overcome in my own kids and grandkids lives.It seems every year that I gain more “life wisdom” it gets harder without aever having a mother of my own.
I lost my mom to cancer when I was 16, that was 15 years ago.I missed having her for my wedding day, the births of my four boys, the ordinary things….a phone call, sharing a cup of coffee, her wisdom, back scratches, home cooked meals, gardening, walks in the evening…I could go on forever. She is missed and loved. Thanks for sharing this post. It made me acknowledge these emotions and know that it is ok. Mother’s Day has always been hard. Thinking of all of the motherless daughters. Hugs!
This is a beautiful post. The video even made me cry. My mother was never around, but I had some great stand-ins. I can’t imagine where I would be today without them. I will not allow my own mother around my daughter because of her issues. It hurts. However, I take away from her one big thing, no matter how tough things get or how frustrated, or how much I just want to quit, just by staying I’m making my child’s life better. I’m so far from the prefect mom, but I’m trying and no matter what, my daughter comes first.
Four years ago this week I was saying good by to my mother while at the same time watching my son graduate high school and getting ready to send him off into the world. Thank you for your words.
I’m 24 years old. My mom went to be with Jesus 1 year, 3 months, and 7 days ago. I have a 2 year old baby girl and am due with our second girl in 1&1/2 weeks. Thank you for this post. It’s always heartbreaking, but very encouraging to my soul, to read about other women, young and old, that bear the same heartache as I do. It really is appreciated by people like me.
I am about to lose my mother to breast cancer. It hurts! She lives up in Pa. I live down here in Florida. Its hard to get a decent flight to Pa. yet God knows how much we need to see each other before she becomes not with it anymore. I talked to her every week for the last 9 months. We tried to encourage each other, to pray for each other to hug and kiss each other through the phone. But there is nothing like your mothers touch and her daughters words of I love you. She has gone through so much. Her body is giving out. Yet her spirit is yearning to be with her maker and her Lord. I am yearning to see the end to the suffering and will rejoice when I can place her in the angels hands of love to take her to heaven.
I just spent the day with my 80 year old mom and my 18 year old daughter. I thank God for these moments. My dad just died and I was comforted by the same hymn:
When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot, you have taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Wishing women everywhere a heart filled with God’s peace!
So sweet to receive this email. Thanks for sharing it with me!
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your heart with other moms. Happy Mother’s Day!
I’m filled with mixed emotions on this Mother’s day because my Mom and I never really had a relationship. She was an alcoholic and was very suicidal, each day was filled with fear and terror that I would lose her. She was sent away many times to be “helped” in inpatient facilities I never understood why she was taken away as a child. I wanted a Mom so badly it ached through a broken heart all my life. I remember when I was going into labor with my oldest daughter, I was scared I called my Mom she said “It’s all up to you now”. I wanted to hear she would be there every step of the way. It didn’t happen that way and I was so insecure about being a Mother because I didn’t have a role model at all! So I join the ranks of the Motherless this Mother’s Day with (3) beautiful children 25, 21,19 one of mine with autism. I’m also a single mom who takes on the role of both Mom and Dad each day and I’m not going to lie it’s so hard. All I ever wanted in life was to have a happy marriage and a family, it just didn’t turn out that way. How do I do it? Through the grace of God and praying and praying some more! I take life one day at a time these days as I grow older and hopefully wiser for the journey.
Thank you for this post….was wonderful to have something to post to friends that are going to have a Mother’s Day without their Mom. God bless your comforting words and backing them up with God’s Word!
My childhood was void of a mother ‘s love. She was addicted to prescription drugs. I was the youngest of three and never knew what a mother’s love was. My mom is still alive and our relationship is a little dysfunctional so Mother’s Day is a strange day for me. So thank you for your beautiful words and consideration of all feelings for this day.
I just lost my mom in Sept and my dad less than 5 months later. I am struggling so much without them! They were my biggest supporters and my #1 fans. To say I am not looking forward to Mother’s Day tomorrow is putting it mildly. Then yo go thru it again next month……One thing I can say is that I was incredibly blessed to have had such great parents who had just celebrated their 54th wedding anniversary in August
I lost my dear mother 33 years ago. I was 9. She and my father died in a one car crash. It has been so long and I can still smell her perfume, hear her voice, touch her hand, and see her face. I remember every thing about her. At 9 there is so much you don’t think to notice. I only wish I would have remembered more about her. When I was little she was my world. She is the only one I wanted when I had a need. I think of her often, but, mostly during every major milestone in my life. Many people see the tears roll from my eyes and down my cheeks on those days and think, “she must be missing her mother.” In reality, I am crying because she is right there with me rooting me on and crying at my accomplishments. i’m just crying with her. While I miss my mother every day and there will forever be a hole in my heart that longs to have the love of my mother, I know she loved me. I never knew exactly how much until I first laid eyes on my own beautiful girl (who just happens to be a spitting image of her grandmother). I never knew I could love someone so very much. Then, God blessed me with my own beautiful child to call my own & instantly I knew the love my mother had for me! I miss you mom and will carry you in my heart forever.
Now, to the woman who gave up her childhood so I would never feel like I did not have a mother. My sister, Kelly, Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving up your hopes and dreams to give me a home. Thank you for every sleepless night. Every headache I caused, and every time you could have been doing something else but chose to spend your time raising me! I love you and owe you a lifetime of thanks. You gave me more than you will ever know! I could not have chosen anyone who loved me more to take her place. You did a fabulous job and I will remain forever thankful for your sacrifice. God will have a special place reserved in heaven just for you! I love you!
Thank you for this. SO much. My mother suffered from a brain tumor, undetected for years, that began bleeding 4 days after my youngest sister was born, when I was 18. Subsequent swelling on her brain caused brain damage, and she never came home. She spent 2 years in nursing facilities, and went to her Jesus 6 years ago this past February. I was 8 months pregnant with my first son when she passed away. Oh, the times I have wanted to call and ask for her advice…especially now I have two sweet boys. And when I had a miscarriage last year I desperately wanted her to be with me and tell me how she handled the loss of a baby between my two youngest sisters. Mother’s day is always a little bittersweet for me. Time and God’s mercy has lessened the intensity of grief, of course, and my husband and two boys are such a gift. Still, there is that part of me that wants to know what it would have been like to experience womanhood, all of it, joys and sorrows, with my mother. I am so thankful for a God of grace who has given me JOY unspeakable even through the storms!
My mom passed suddenly from a heart attack at 42. I was 19. I miss her so much, I hate the fact that she’s not here to watch her grandchildren grow up. My son isstubborn like she was.
Thank you for writing this. It’s everything I feel in my heart every day.
I am sorry to hear about all the loses everyone has. I lost my daughter July 2005 at age 8 and she was an only child cause I had cancer when she was 4. I lost my mom February 2009. I miss them both everyday.
I lost my mom in January 1999. She worked so hard all her life and was always helping to meet someone’s need. Her mother died when she was a young girl and her being the oldest, she stepped into the mother’s role for her younger brothers and sisters and also helped her father take care of the business of the farm. Years later when my grandfather re-married, she went back and finished high school actually going to school with her much younger siblings. After graduation she moved away to Columbia, SC, to begin nursing school. She was a nurse for many years until her health would no longer allow her to continue. Even after that she tried to private duty nurse care for family members and older folks in the community. She truly gave all she had and did the right thing. I am the oldest daughter and have three older brothers and a younger brother and sister. We smile when we think of the siblings she was there for plus later her own children and then grandchildren she “mothered”. Affectionately known as Nanny by her 9 grandchildren, all of whom she knew and loved very much, She now has 14 great grandchildren, one of whom was stillborn, but we know Nanny has her arms wrapped around that precious baby in her heavenly home and rocking him and giving him all her love.
My mother & I have been emotionally separated for years now. I miss someone who”Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?” I pray that I am always there for my daughter the way she needs me to…because it leaves a huge heavy void in your life.
My mother left before I was fully prepared…wait, son, I said, dreading what I would find in the silent bedroom. There she lay in bed, taken up in the arms of her Savior…I was n’t ready yet…I hadn’t told her…so many things…wait…but she had left..too soon.
I also lost my mom my best friend 1 1/2 ago to cancer , the worst day of my life! I miss her dearly!!!! God has been so faithful and has gotten me through so many rough days ! I have cried, laughed, lost and felt so empty at times however I have some wonderful sisters in Christ that have prayed with me and for me!! And they have helped me grow my faith and for that I’m truly blessed !
My mother left before I was fully prepared…wait, son, I said, dreading what I would find in the silent bedroom. There she lay in bed, taken up in the arms of her Savior…I was n’t ready yet…I hadn’t told her…so many things…thank you for the hug with words.
My mom passed away in July just 4 months after my baby girl was born. She has blonde hair and blue eyes just like her. I know she would’ve loved to have seen her and rocked her in her arms. My son loved to visit her and she loved to hear him talk. My heart is heavy with an ache to hear her voice, see her smiling face and smell her perfume. She could always make me feel better when I was sick. Some days I can just feel her arms wrap around me… so comforting. I miss her.
My Godmother passed away just a year before. I can still hear her sweet voice singing church hymns and saying goodnight prayers with me. Her soft hand gently rubbing my back tracing letters to spell “I love you” as I fell to sleep…
My grandmother passed away a month after her. Fishing, long car trips, crocheting, the way she cut up an apple to look like a bird…
My Godmother’s caretaker whom I loved so much passed away a year before my Godmother. I miss her loud sneezes, her fried chicken, the way she helped me feel safe when I had a bad dream, playing cards, riding bikes…
There’s so much I can say about these cherished people from my life. So many memories. They will always be with me in some way. My children remind me every day.
May your heavy hearts be lifted by God’s love.
thank you for sharing your story!
i feel so sad to read of beautiful mother daughter relationships that end in death. why are the awesome moms always the first to go? I am so sad just thinking of it.
This is my world:
******** friends who have challenging relationships with their moms who try to navigate Mother’s Day with grace but some necessary distance.*******
Boy oh boy, did I need this today. I lost my mom 5 years ago next month. She was 53, I was 34 and it was quite unexpected. She was my best friend and I miss her every day. I have a one year old and a three year old, both boys. There are days that I wish for a daughter to have that mother/daughter connection that I had with my mom. But, I know that these boys are my connection to my mom. She lost two sons at birth and now I am raising two sons. I so wish she were here so they could know each other. She was so excited for grandbabies and she would have been an amazing grandma to them. Mother’s Day reminds me to be thankful to be a mom, and it really makes me miss mine.
I lost my Mother to cancer when I was 34. I miss sharing with my best friend and all the simple things…like buying flowers together and her stopping by my place of work, just to say hello. I love and miss you Mom.
Thanks for sharing! Beautiful
I love you all my sisters. I lost my mom four years ago. I wish I could ask her questions about raising my children. I wish I could feel her hand on my face , hear her beautiful voice and tell her just what a wonderful gift she was. That I’m the mom that I am because of her beautiful and selfless example
It is fresh to have someone recognize that Mother’s Day can have negative feelings that go with it. My mother moved out of state, changed her phone number and email address over three years ago and has not contacted me. While as a mother myself I cannot understand it, I feel that distance is a hedge of protection from God. It still hurts when the person that gave birth to me ignores me. God has provided wonderful mentor moms in her absence.
My beautiful mom died of breast cancer 2 1/2 months before my first child, her first and only grand baby, was born. That was a year and a half ago, but the pain of her absence feels just as sharp today as it did then. In fact, it seems to hurt even more now than it did. I can’t express how difficult it is to see all the tv, radio, email, etc adds for daughters and their mom’s on mother’s day. The only thing that gets me through the weekend is the joy I get from seeing the smile on my sweet son’s face and knowing how proud she would be of me. Oh how I long for the day we will be reunited in heaven! Thank you for your words – helps me to not feel so alone this weekend…
The thing I miss most about my mother….everything I suppose.
Signed a motherless mother
My mother died seven years ago. I still remember my last words to her: Mom, let me call you back. I just got in from work.” At 5:00 the next morning, I was on my way to my mother’s house, where I found her lifeless on the couch. Three weeks later, I found out that I was 19.5 weeks pregnant with a baby girl! This Mother’s Day will be especially hard because it is also hee birthday…
Thank you for this beautiful story. Blessings to all of you who have lost your mother.
My mom was 20 when she had me, her 3rd child. This year I am now just 3 years younger than her. So strange…
She was only 56 when she died from liver disease, caused by hepatitis C.
She died Dec. 24th–Christmas Eve Day.
Her last words to me (mouthed soundlessly because of the ventilator) were, “Don’t stop singing,”
I am still singing, Mom. And I will keep in singing until we see each other again.
I lost my mom when I was 12. Even though it’s been 41 years, I’ve never stopped wanting her near. Thank you so much for putting into words all of the things I’ve felt. It has been especially hard this Mother’s Day to see all of the smiling faces. I’m so blessed to be a mom and that has made all of the difference.
Thank you for these encouraging thoughts and words!!! I lost my mother at the age of 12 to brain cancer. I know she would have been an amazing grandmother to her grandsons. I strive to be half the woman that she was for the short time I knew her!!!
Thank you all for sharing. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there and may God’s peace and comfort be with everyone that finds Mother’s day hard to go through.
My mum died in sept. I miss her every single day. It is well with my soul was her favorite hymn. I miss her laugh, her smile, her judgement and advice, her unconditional love and fierce protection of me and my brothers and our children. There are days where I don’t believe I did enough for her at the end but I know she loved me and I’m lucky I got to say goodbye and tell her how much I love her. I do love you mumma and I know you’re tending to gods garden xoxo
What a beautiful story. So thankful I still have my mom, but so heartbroken for those that don’t.
Love this!
Such a sweet, loving post. My mother-in-law passed away before I came into the family. She lives on wonderfully through the stories of my husband, his siblings, and her husband. I long for the day that my kids and I get to meet her.
My mom died my senior year of college. She missed all three of her daughter’s weddings, and is not here to enjoy 5 grandbaby boys. I think that’s the thing that hurts the most…. her not being here for my kids to know her and how wonderful she was. I’m so sad for that. She was truly a wonderful lady and I miss her.
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t miss my mother. she passed unexpectedly from complications, and we buried her on her 45th birthday. I hope I am half the mom she was, cause that would make me a great mother to my three girls. now in my own terminal illness, I wonder how my young daughters will remember me, or if my baby will even remember me. I LOVE and miss you mom. love sandie
This is wonderful. Thank you for your gracious words.
Beautiful blog, and a great remembrance for friends or family members who have lost a parent!!
Beautiful words that helped my sad heart today.
Thank u that was a heart felt story , im sorry for your loss. I lost my mom at age 15 now im 28 and i have 3 gifts from God. I look at my kids and see my mom. Its been difficult without her, i miss her more and more. God is my strength and comforter. I look foward to seeing her in heaven. God bless your soul!!!! Happy Mothers Day
Hello! Thank you for writing this posts…I am a motherless mama…but I never knew my mom..She abandoned me when I was 2 1/2 never to look back again. When I finally found her she had already passed away from breast cancer at the age of 43. I am now 42 and this is a little scary for me. I am truly blessed with 3 beautiful children and a awesome husband. When I first knew that we were expecting I was scared, excited, full of joy and terrified all at once. I did not know what to expect or what it was going to be like.While she was growing inside I would call her little one and talk to her..and when our daughter was born and had to be put in NICU for 2 weeks my love burst out of me for her that was 8 years ago, we now have a 6 year.old son and a 2 year old so we just adopted.We are so excited as our family grows. and thanking GOD every step of the way..IT is not where we came from it is where we are going
.GOD has taught me so much through other women in my life of what I do and do not want to be…I am so thankful to HIM and Praise HIM everyday…dirty laundry and all….
Happy Mothers Day to all…
I feel so fortunate to have had my mother for 65 years. She lived a long, full life and died following a stroke at 96. My father died 20 years earlier and I was my mother’s main care giver. She lived in her own home but I was her driver and confidante. We grew very close during those last 20 years and I still miss the phone calls and weekly shopping trips. There are many times when I want to pick up the phone and remind her of a special event. It does get better but that void will never be filled until we’re once again united in Heaven. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Thank you for this. It has been 5 years and 2 weeks since I lay my mom to a car accident. How I miss her and can’t help but think that every thing I have experienced since then would have been that much better with her. Thankfully she met my first born, but does when she was 5 months old. Since then we have moved 3 times and had 2 more children. I am so thankful that she was a believer so I will see her again and be able to spend all eternity catching up and hope to introduce her to all my children.
How beautiful your words are and how deeply they touch my heart. We laid my mother to rest when I was 26 years old and 34 weeks pregnant with a 5 and 1 year old at my side. She tried so hard to hold on to meet my little guy, even if to just kiss his cheek one time. My oldest daughter has memories of her but my youngest daughter and son only know her through stories and pictures. I strive to live each day as she did to give them the best of what I received from her; love of the Lord and a passion to live life to the fullest. Please know that all of you other motherless mothers will be held closely to my heart in prayer tomorrow.
I was 13 when my Mother’s life ended in a car accident one November afternoon. I am now 38 and a motherless mother to her namesake, René. There isn’t a day that I don’t wish she could be here to enjoy this 6 year old gift of God’s grace and mercy. It hurts me that I struggle to remember the sound of her voice and the touch of her hand. I can only hope she sees us and can find some pride in her granddaughter and I. I look forward to walking through the pearly gates straight into her arms.
It’s not easy to describe the moments you miss your own Mom even when she is very near, much more when she is too far…and to understand why? It deeply hurts ….
Thank you, my mom passed at the age of 40, i was 12. That was 41 years ago, but i still miss her every day. I have 4 children, 3 are girls. I see her legacy in them often. My oldest inherited her artistic abilities. God blessed me with a eonderful step mother, but i still wish my mom were here. Happy mothers day Joan.
Thank you for these beautiful words! My mom died when I was 19 and I am now mama to two beautiul little girls who look so much like her. She smiles at me through their smirks, the twinkle in their eyes wen they are up to something, the contagious belly laugh from my oldest. Becoming a mother myself has added much sweetness to this day, but it doesn’t change the sting of missing her in my life. But as you said, nevertheless we have hope that this too can somehow be well with our souls as we trust the One who gives and takes away.
Thank you for these kind word. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago to many complications from a stroke that happened 13 years ago. Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day for my sister & I, as the loss of our mom is still so fresh. It is so hard to lose a mom that works so hard to make our everything perfect. As a mother of a girl, my only child, I live every day to the fullest making every moment count. As sad as I am about her passing, I know she fought hard to the end, where I was with her to say the last good-bye. I am so sad about all the milestones she has missed and will miss with us as her granddaughter is growing!
I wish all of those who share this loss a great day tomorrow that is filled with love and compassion. For those of you who have children, love them, hug them, & cherish them!
Loved this post. I lost my mother at the age of 32 and it never gets any easier. But God is always by my side loving me and guiding me. I loved my mother kind heart and warm smile. She truly made me feel so loved and protected. I thank God for her everyday and hope I will show that warmth to my precious little girl too.
Many Blessings to you.
I am so incredibly happy this came across my news feed on fb. Your words are so beautiful and touched my soul. I’m 31 years old and a motherless mother with a 4 year old daughter. I lost my Mom at 14 unexpectedly. It is so hard to explain the feeling of having a daughter when you are a Motherless Mom. Your words were so perfect I see my Mother all over again in my daughters eyes and big bright smile. The closest love I have ever felt to this was my love for my Mother. The hardest times without her have been becoming a mom myself and the closest I have felt to her has been becoming a mom. Thank you for your words and thank you for sharing.
June 2nd will make 3 years since my mom passed away due to a massive heart attack. I was 19 and my sister was 7. I have a beautiful little boy who turns 5 Monday. He only had 2 years with my mom and I wish so much that he could have had longer. Mother’s Day is always tough for me but because I have my son and my sister I get through it and every other holiday and birthday. This blog was perfect and I needed it.
Thank you so much for this blog! I lost my dad the July before my senior year in high school then in January of my senior year I lost my mom. I too am a motherless mother of 2 sons and a daughter. This brought so many memories and tears of sadness and joy to me thank you
20 years in November. I miss my mother’s hands. I miss how the very marrow of her bones spoke to mine. I miss everything.
I lost my mother when I was 10. Thank you for understanding. This was a very moving post.
I know being a motherless mother has impacted my children.
My mother passed away when I was 28 years old. She never got to see me get married and I missed her presence when I had my son. I still miss her dearly and it has been nearly 29 years since she left us. Her words of wisdom and humble spirit lives on in my son. Mama I know that you and Papa are watching over us. Happy Mother’s Day.
I have downloaded the first 3 chapters. I want to get this book for my niece that lost her precious mom 1 year ago. She was only 17 at the time. I want to put together a “hope chest” for her and this will be perfect! I was so moved just by this post!
Thank you!! I miss my mothers hugs!! She could make all my worries melt away with one embrace. I now have a son and I deeply wish he would have had the privilege of being on the receiving end of one of her miracle hugs. That, and gotten to taste her famous chicken spaghetti. Mine just isn’t the same.
Thank you for this post. My story is so similar. I lost my mom one month before I turned 18 and I feel she missed most of my life. College, my dearest friends whom I met there, falling in love, having my heart broken, falling in love with THE ONE, marrying him, having my heart broken by him, restoring our marriage, and having two beautiful and amazing children. Being a motherless daughter is inexplicably hard, and being a mom is hard and wonderful all at the same time. But being a motherless mother…I never thought about the complexity of it. Thank you for your post!
My mother has been gone 22 years. She suffered a painful death from pancreatic cancer at the age of 40. I was 13. She was my everything. She has been gone much longer than I had her with me but her impact on my life is felt daily. I think we would be dear friends now. She was a vibrant, fun, joyful woman. She cared for others, was a wonderful nurse and mother. I see her especially in my girls. I am now a mom of 5. I missed her most when I gave birth to my children. She was a labor and delivery nurse. She would have been the perfect person to be there with me during my deliveries. Her love, though brief, shaped my life and motherhood forever. I miss her dearly.
My mom has treated me poorly as long as I can remember and has not spoken to me in over a year not, even when my dad passed. I am not welcome in her house due to lies my brother told her. He admits to the lies yet I still am unwelcome. Praise God I no longer need nor seek her love and I have joy in my heart and my life. I love my daughters and ‘ being ‘ a mom to them. So the past two years my mothers day has been a blessing to me. ( not full of heartache or tears anymore )
Thankful for a long line of Christian women who have taught me well. May I be that person in the lives of our four children, (two girls/ two boys). May I always show them Jesus!
Thank you for sharing this. I lost my mother at age 11 after a long illness and still feel those pangs of loss, and wish so badly that she could have met her grand children. It is so difficult to feel alone in this, and I want to thank you for opening up this safe space of sharing
Thank you for sharing. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight. May God bless you and yours always!!!!!
I was 15, its been a long 28 years. I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch and her smell. I now tell my 2 boys that no matter how hard life gets, everything is going to be ok. Our God watches over us and we can conquer this life together. Thank you for your story, it touches me so deeply.
This is the first Mothers Day for me without my dear sweet mom. I too cling to the sweet verses of the hymn you mentioned in the post. I was feeling shameful for my pain and tears today but I will cling to Psalm 56:8. Thank you for speaking to my hurting heart.
Thank you for sharing! Blessings! 🙂
My mom began working outside the home when I was young, around 5 or 6, I guess. She did so out of financial necessity, but was never able to leave the workplace to be home with us again. Many lonely hours without her. I now know she sometimes avoided home because of the drama including my alcoholic dad, a volatile relationship. I needed a teacher, but I had to figure it out myself. I wanted companionship, but got the 4 walls of my bedroom, avoiding dad, waiting for her to come home, waiting to show and interest, waiting for her to get to know me, to ask me questions, to guide me. She gave me lectures that were too late. I am grateful to have her tho it’s somewhat bumpy and she lives far away. She has grown in respect for me and I have learned to assert boundaries. I never doubted her love, still don’t…but wish she had loved Jesus, and could have nurtured me better!
Wow! Couldn’t have said it better. Mom passed away almost seven years ago and it feels like it was yesterday. I am not a mom…wasn’t blessed in that way. So, I sit and watch the celebrations of other Moms. Sometimes jealous, sometimes grateful…just depends. God bless all moms and have a wonderful day.
Happy Mothersday!!!!
You certainly have a mother’s heart! May our Father continue to fill any empty places in your soul, left by the loss of your mother. HAPPY Mother’s Day!!!
Bless you for this! I never got to meet my birthing before she passed away from breast cancer, but am so thankful that since then, I’ve bee able to meet my half-brother & he has accepted me as his sister! Thanks for this encouragement today!
My mom passed away 20 years ago and I’m “still” not over it. I don’t think I ever will be. My mom wasn’t there when I had my babies. My kids never had a grandmother. I miss her so much even though she was a hard and often difficult woman. I pray every mother’s day those who lost their moms or lost their babies, for the moms who gave up their babies, and flee the women who couldn’t but wanted to be moms. Cherish your mom if you have her and tell her you love her even if she’s a hard and difficult woman.,
Bless you for this! I never got to meet my birth mother before she passed away from breast cancer, but am so thankful that since then, I’ve been able to meet my half-brother & he has accepted me as his sister! Thanks for this encouragement today!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart touching story. I lost my mom 31 years ago this month in a freak auto accident. She had met the first daughter, but I had just found out that very day that I was pregnant with my second child. I didn’t even get to tell her the news. I would’ve loved for her to have met all four of my beautiful daughters & her, so far, 8 great grandchildren. To this day, I still miss my mom every day. I know she is in heaven, was joined by my dad two years ago from cancer, & we will all be together again one day with our wonderful Father.
This was such a blessing to me as a mom whose own mother has been emotionally in and out, mostly out, over the years. If you have your mother present in your life, count this as an amazing blessing, as those of us with mothers who are absent sometimes feel that void so heavily in our lives. Also being a single mom and wishing I had that someone to lean on is a hard burden to bear sometimes. I am so thankful that I have Jesus. Without Him, there is absolutely no way I would have come this far. I pray everyday to be the mother to my children that I wish I had had. I pray they never feel the void in their life that I have felt. It inspires me to be the best mom I can be. I do love and respect my mother for giving me life, and I pray someday she sees how much we need her, but until then, I pray for her and for God to reach out to her and heal her where she is broken and cannot love the way she should. Life is too short for grudges and if Christ can forgive me and die for me, I can forgive her. May God be with all of you hurting without your mother, no matter why, I pray God’s peace and love for all of you.
My mother died when I was 4 years old – almost 60 years ago now. I’ve let go of the “what ifs?”, though they come back to visit now and again. I had a step-mother, yet there was so much pain involved – it was not good. I know God is good, and I believe He makes things work out for good. I ache that my children never knew my mother, that I barely knew her. I wish she was with me when they were born, when I got divorced, during the good and the difficult moments of my life, I wish she was there to stroke my hair. I get tired of being strong, but God’s grace is sufficient for me. I look forward to seeing her again one day.
I turned 23 and 3 weeks later my mom died suddenly. I think what I miss most is the way I felt with her…the way she accepted all of me (good and bad), the way she knew my likes, the way she smelled and felt. I miss having a shopping buddy. I miss having someone to call with good news or sad news. I miss being able to ask her questions. I cry over things that she can’t experience with me. I miss the assurance of someone always loving me and being in my corner. I am grateful to have had a mom that I miss in so many ways.
This is simply beautiful… Thank you for sharing
Wow this is a great article. I have a strained relationship with my mother due to her addictions or drugs & alcohol. Would love for my girls to know the beautiful person she used to be.
I am very grateful that my mom has been my biggest cheerleader for me! She always supports me an encourages me! She prayed to have me for 20 years when drs said she could not have kids… Thanks for never giving up hope mom! I love you as a mom and live watching you be a “nanna” to my kids Anna and Charlie, whom she loves to be a cheerleader for now 🙂
Chanel no. 5 and Giorgo.
Roast Sunday lunches.
Always being welcoming.
Dressing up with makeup and jewellery.
Desserts. Pavlova preferably.
Gardening in your swimmers.
Shandy drinking in summer.
Sitting in the sun reading the paper.
Being appreciative of the little things.
Enjoying beauty and teaching me to find it.
Tickling my back.
Loving my kids.
Buying gifts that said; I love and think of you.
Countless tasks and thankless sacrifices.
Taking us to church.
Role modeling service to others.
Being Human.
This is beautifully written. Thank you!
Thank you for this article and your soft words. My relationship with my mother is complicated and tough, but I have two beautiful daughters who need me to be a better momma than the one I was given. Mother’s Day is so very difficult for me, and I know for many people. This year seems to be especially challenging, but articles like this feel like a good friend giving me permission to cry to myself for just a few minutes, then dry my tears and get back to being the momma my girls need me to be.
I have been very blessed, but have experienced a lot of loss in my life. This really hit home, and I can’t thank you enough for being so candid and vulnerable. You have resonated with so many, and given us a closeness that hasn’t just connected, but restored. Thank you.
Thank you for your article. Mother’s Day has been so hard for me since losing my mom in my early twenties. I know she would love my boys so much! (And now my grandson, too)
I too lost my mom when I was 21 years old. We were very close. My parents divorced when I was 2 you old. My dad isn’t a significant part of my life. My wonderful mother-in-law also died a few years before my only daughter was born. I struggled with Mother’s Day. I was married 13 yrs before I was able to get pregnant and had some miscarriages too. I had to quit going to church on Mother’s Day. It was too painful. I now am able to go since the birth of my only child. Thanks for writing this. There are so many of us that are motherless and need encouragement and a voice. Our pain never goes away, but we cling to the hope of heaven and I’m so blessed to have a 2 Godly mom’s in my life and a beautiful daughter to pass on the things they taught me. Thank you for your words and sharing from your heart.
I lost my mom 14 years ago in January when I was pregnant with my second daughter, Mackenzy. Mackenzy was stillborn just 4 short months later on May 23rd. Someone told me at my momma’s funeral not to worry if Mackenzy was still, because that was just my momma rocking her in Heaven. I know that’s true, but sometimes it hurts, and I miss them both so much! Thank you for this post. It meant so much to me!
I loved this blog. It made me weep and for the first time understand what others go through when their mothers pass away. My mom is still alive but lives in a foreign country. I am blessed to still have her as close as a skype call whenever I need her, and this blog just reminded me how really blessed I am to be 39 and still have my mom. Although we are far away from each other, I can feel her prayers and love every conversation we get to have. I treasure my mom. Thanks for sharing this beautiful meditation from the heart.
Thank you. I lost my mom to lung cancer when I was 15. I wish I had more memories of her but my mind must have blocked out much of her from the pain. Now having my own little ones I have so many more questions for her. 2 years ago I lost a daughter and Mother’s Day took on a different level of pain. Shared stories are helpful as I read and know I’m not alone in my pain. Although I wish no one had to experience these losses I thank each of you who had the courage to share.
My mom was diagnosed with end stage liver disease in Jan of this year. It has been a down ward spiral she now doesn’t know my name but remembers my kids name. The doctor has given her three months makes me sad since I’m seven and half months pregnant with her third grandchild. I would give anything to speak to her like we use to.
Thank you to all who have shared their stories. My mom was truly my best friend and she passed away 34 years ago when I was 20. Hearing so many say how much they wished she had known their husband and children is exactly what I have thought about for years. I miss her laugh and how she and I could get silly. I’m an Air Force kid and never realized until I became a mom myself just how much my mom did and how strong she was to raise 5 of us. My dad served in WWII, Korea and 2 tours in Vietnam and all that time away meant Mom had to deal with everything on her own. She was little in stature (only 4’11” and 90 lbs soaking wet!) but was 10 feet tall in my book. I think the greatest gift she and my dad gave me was the example of their love and dedication in their marriage, especially when she was diagnosed with cancer. You could see it in their eyes and how they still held hands, even after 35+ years of being married. When my dad died 9 years after my mom, we all said he died of a broken heart. My joy comes in knowing they were now together again in heaven and dancing, one of their favorite things to do. Happy Mother’s Day and God’s blessings on all of us who cherish our moms who are now with Him.
Thnx for thinking of us we motherless mothers. I lost my mon to liver cancer recently on 23 Movember 2013 on her birthday. I think of her everyday and I dont know if ever I will be able not to cry wen I think of her. Crying not so much about her resting but so much about the suffering that she had to bear. I know tht she is now resting, no more pain, but I cant forget the way she suffered. It hurts too much.
My mother passed away 6 years ago but we lost the woman she had been years before when dementia/Alzheimer’s took her from us. On this Mother’s Day and on Mothering Sunday I remember the good times and hope to be as loving a mother and grandmother.
This motherless mother would love to win. thanks.
I AM A MOTHERLESS MOTHER. I STILL HAVE THOSE MEMORIES SLIP DOWN MY CHEEK. BUT I TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT WE WILL REUNITE AGAIN IN OUR FOREVER HOME!!!
Can I just say, this is exactly what I needed. I sit here, carrying my first child, after only being married for just over six months now. I’m excstatic about becoming a mom, but I’m also a little scared. I lost my mom when I was only seven. So I’ve had a lot of missed birthdays, mothers days, and everything else that I wish she could have been there for. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t really know what it’s like to have her here for those important things. This past year though, has been pretty hard though. Getting engaged and married, and now becoming a mother. I didn’t really know how I was going to handle this Mother’s Day. I just wish that she were here to give me advice, calm my worries, and honestly just to celebrate this time. This blog really brought home to me that I’m not alone in these feelings that I’m having, and also the fact that thankfully God has blessed me with women in my life that are wonderful mother figures, and that my mother is with me in my heart.
My mom had a break down of some sort around the time I was 14 or so. She stopped being our mom & started hanging out in bars & bringing a parade of men home. She never became my mother again & nothing was ever resolved. She passed away a few years ago & I grieved the mom I lost to alcohol & prescription drugs. However, I had a daughter who I tried to give all the love I never received. I was far from perfect but my children knew they were loved & wanted.
Miss my mom a christian and devoted wife and mother.I wish she could meet my sons grown up. I wish she were here to see the girls that come in their lives.Just to understand where I am coming from,because I am so much like her.Lysa Thanks
I came upon THIS by surprise.
I’m 51 and have been motherless since I was 8 …
…. I don’t cry or even think about her everyday, but I did today. Being motherless helped me be a better mother to three beautiful daughters who love Jesus…. & I’m now a grandmother to 6 adorable children.
Thank you for sharing.
I’m passing it along on my FB page. ❤️
I really needed this today. My mom is not dead, but the mom she was 6 years ago is. I try to hold on to the memories from when I was little. She was am amazing, God loving, caring mother. I hate that those memories get swamped by the sad memories of watching meth destroy who she was. I wish my babies could have had the grandmother she should have been. I wish she could have been there for me when I was struggling to become a good mom and wife. I’m just thankful that God blessed me with an amazing mother-in-law, aunt in law, grandma, and aunt. They will never know how much they mean to me.
Although my mother is still alive, she has hardly even communicated with me. I learned how to be a mother to my two wonderful kids by myself with God’s grace. Unfortunately my kids have a mother but their father choose not to be a part of their lives. The road was tough and I am thankful to God every day for His help and His grace to go through the struggles every day! However no matter what my kids are my greatest blessings
What a beautiful story. Thank you.
And thank you to all the ladies that posted their stories too!
Happy Mother’s day girls!
I lost my beautiful mother last year – to breast cancer. My best friend. My first friend, my best role model. I’m so sad that she’s gone, but happy that my sons will have memories of her. She was too young. Only 57.
Dear sister Lysa it is really a beautiful one. I am praying for my mother to receive Jesus in her life. I love her so much. Our lord saved her from cancer 12 years back. But yet now she didn’t came to salvation. I believe in this day lord will visit her. Thank you for your wonderful messages & prayers. Please pray for my mom
Thank you for this post today.
My cousin is about to be a mom for the first time, this would be a lovely gift for her.
I lost my mom 3 years ago,but I also was not able to have children, to add also to this day….I had an abortion. This day SUCKS! It is one of the most difficult days of the year, however I will make it through, because Christ’s strength is in me. Thank you Jesus!
Hard handling Mothers Day. Mom is alive but has many mental illness issues (depression, panic disorder, probably other things as well.) She has never been able to encourage and instead takes birthdays and holidays and hurls insults or negative comments. She is incapable of loving us as we are, being proud of who we are. she has no idea how to love my kids. and God has infinite wisdom because He has sent encouraging friends my way and separated me and my mom through distance (job moves). And no card out there had the right words but I found one I could send that spoke of home being a place you could just be yourself. Figured it was okay. Today my 4 will shower me with love and little gifts and flowers and food and I will see God’s love for me through them. I love being just a mom!!! And even though my mom won’t look at it this way I will because God’s best blessing has been making me a mama!
Lost my mom 12 years ago. Our son was conceived the weekend of the first anniversary of her death. Didn’t know if we could conceive. Coincidence? Nit sure. Just wish she knew her grandson. He is such a good kid. I’m sure she knows, though.
After a brief reconciliation my mother took her own life three years ago. A very long and complicated story. I now sit here after doing everything I could to be everything my mother wasn’t with two of my three children refusing to have anything to do with me. Another long complicated and painful story. They use social networking and my brand children to torment me. My sister who suffers from the same mental conditions as my mother encourages their behavior. If not for my faith, my husband, my youngest daughter and stories such as I have just read, I do not think I could get through each day. Thank you to all of you who shared your struggles and thank you Lysa for your beautiful tribute.
Im blessed to have a wonderful mom from a distance and an amazing mother-in-law near, both of whom have lost their mother. My heart goes out to them as I dread the experience to come of being a motherless mother.
I am a mother searching to have her daughter back jn my life. It seems like since she has had children I have become the villen in her life I die to spend time with her and the children but she is alwsys pushing me away. She says sge does not know how to talk to me we were so close before now even talking is like we dont even know each other its been eight months and we continue to grow apart. Neither one of use knows what to do i am do saddened
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories. I lost my Mom, my best friend, a little over a year ago unexpectedly. Today, I will celebrate.with my children. I will continue trying to be the best Mom that I can for them, just like my Mom did.
Happy Mother’s Day…
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers <3
Thank you for writing what is often so difficult to verbalize. My sister and I are motherless, not through death or illness, but due to selfishness and our mother’s CHOICE to walk away. Most days I can forget there ever was a time when I had a “mother” in my life, but other times, the loss and sorrow creep up and try to rob me of my celebrations, my accomplishments and even my self-worth. Even though logically I know that my mother’s behaviors were not a consequence of anything my sister or I have done, I can’t help but look to my own children and ask the question “How?”. I love my children so fiercely that nothing could drive me from them, so how then could MY mother walk away? It’s a question to which I’ll never have an answer. Thank you again for giving a voice to the pain of being motherless….I needed to hear that we are not alone.
Thank you for remembering those who no longer have their moms and those who cannot have children or have lost them this must be an extra hard day forthemy
My motherwas & still is an alcoholic. Has been since I can remember. I have been the mom not only to my sisters but to my mother as well….I know many woman who have grown up motherless & want to thank God above for the blessings strength & love He has given us to get through every day!
Beautiful!
Thank you for your post. I have friends who lost their mothers when they were young and miss them terribly. Their mothers were kind, loving, godly women. My heart is saddened for them today. I have guilt for myself on mothers day because I feel relief that my mother is gone. I know that is a horrible thing to feel and say, but its true. She was an alcoholic. I practically raised her along with my younger sister. I was always worried sick about her because of her drinking. She took her own life 7 years ago. Truthfully, most of my memories are of how she hurt me because of being a bad mother. I can hardly remember my childhood (Im ony 34 so you would think I was still capable) and most of my memories of her are bad ones. I try so hard to remember good things or to at least see that as she did care for my sister and I in cooking, cleaning, and bathing us she was loving us. I have seven children and Im thankful they will not have to see her the way she was, they were too young to know anything was wrong with her. Today is hard because of that for me. But because of Jesus I have not followed in her footsteps! Praise the Lord! He changed me forever! My prayer is that I would be a mother to my children that would help them see Jesus.
I have tried so hard to honor my mother knowing that God will bless my efforts. But she has spent her life not being a mother and not wanting to interrupt her lifestyle. And God has released me from her sin; but that makes me motherless. Today is difficult because I wish things were different and pray that my sons know the difference. I need to remember HE is enough for me in this life.
I lost my mother to a Cancer that took her within 5 months of diagnoses to surgery/ hopeful recovery. I was 19. I’m now 32. And I never thought I would be able to smile or laugh again. I too went from being a motherless daughter to a motherless mother ( and wife). And although I have ( learned) to laugh and smile again it’s been so bitter sweet because of how much I miss her and all the milestones in my life that I haven’t and will not have her for. But in those moments when I feel like I can’t bare the pain that comes from memories ( even happy ones), I somehow pull it together and realize how blessed I was to have my mother for 19 full- of life- and- laughter- years! Thankyou for being so open and brave to share your life and story and sometimes pain with us through your blog and books. I too have a tender heart for motherless mothers and am so encouraged by your pened words. Have a blessed and joy filled Mothers Day! -Jen
My mother has been an alcoholic since I was 9. I am now almost 45. I choose to have a limited relationship with her. It is hard to be around her, to many painful memories, to much disappointment as to what could have been if she just wouldn’t have drank. Mother’s Day is both my best day because I am a mother to my sweet boy, but it is also my worst day because of everything I wished that could have been.
Thank you for blessing all of us motherless mothers with this beautiful post and video! I miss my mama every day but this day is always hardest followed by her birthday in 8 days, so again thank you for these words of encouragement!
As one who had mom issues most of my life and who struggled though caring for her in her last months when her dementia made her so very hurt fully truthful about not wanting not wanting me, I so appreciated this post. Now that she is gone, I miss the good parts of her like crazy…Thank you for your words.
Oh gosh…thank u so, so much.
My mom found a lump in her breast at age 43, and her doctors put off biopsying for nine months. She had her biopsy in the hospital and stage IV cancer was the diagnosis. She died at 48, after rounds and rounds of chemo and rads. My husband and I married later that year. My father died from pancreatic cancer three years later when I was 10 weeks pregnant with their first grandchild. I know that my children’s lives would have been so much different had their grandparents been here, and that is the hardest part for me to bear.
I lost my mom to brain cancer in 10/06. My life has never been the same. I miss having her with me during times of celebrations- my daughters wedding, Holidays, and the birth of her great grandchildren. If I had one wish it would be to feel her hug me again.
I needed this. I was feeling something I couldn’t quite name. Maybe this is it. I too lost my mom. I was 17 and now I’m a 45 year old motherless mom. I have lots of other moms…my sisters, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in law, my mom friends, but it’s just not the same.
Your words could have come right out of my mouth…the always silence on the threshold. I loss my mother at 12 and have a 30 yr old daughter that chooses to be motherless. I have 2 granddaughters, one that I haven’t met, because my daughter has chosen to take them out of my life too. I know I did my best raising her without a role model or mother to ask important questions to. I divorced her father when she was 1, because he was abusive and a cheater, yet I never spoke badly of him to her and my home was always open to him and his new family and my in-laws because they were her family. I never mentioned or blamed her for the sacrifices I made (career wise, marriage wise, etc.) because they were my choices and I made them for her. I still love her and always will, yet her actions hurt me. They hurt just like when my friends would talk badly about their mothers, while I wished that I could have a mother. Even the responses here from women talking badly about their mothers hurts me like I was 12 all over again. They SHOULD have been the ones without the choice of losing a mother. They have had all the moments that I , and so many others like me, would have given anything to have – the comfort of a mother’s touch or just the look in her eyes. These are only fading memories for us, yet treasures others are throwing away. It is a shame, because one day they will be in our group- the ones spending another Mother’s Day at a gravesite and it will be too late.
33 years ago, I lost my mother and my father in a one car crash. I was 9. I have 3 sisters. The oldest one raised me. To this day I can still remember everything about her, the smell of her perfume, her voice, her smile, what it felt like to sit on her lap. Yet not a day goes by that I don’t wish she was here. At 9, it is amazing the things I remember. I wish I remembered more of the important stuff. However, I find I miss her most during the major milestones of my life. When people see the tears that graze my cheeks on those difficult days, they think, “She is missing her mother.” What they will never understand, however, is my tears are not because she is not there. They are because she is there, right next to me, in my heart, holding my hand, cheering me on, crying tears herself. Today, as my only child graduates from college, I am, in fact, sitting with my mother. Crying tears of joy, looking on at her accomplishments, wondering what I have done to be so blessed. I used to wonder if and how much my mother loved me. It wasn’t until I held my beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed little girl (who is the spitting image of my mother) in my arms that I truly knew the measure of love my own mother had for me. In all my life, I never knew I could love someone so much. I thank God everyday for giving me the blessing of having a daughter. For it is through her, I have learned the love my mother held in her heart for me.
Now, to my loving sister who so willingly sacrificed for me, I will forever be in your debt. You missed so much just to ensure I never had to go through life without someone to take care of me. Thank you for giving up your childhood. Thank you for all the sleepless nights, for every grey hair, for every argument, for every tear you cried in frustration, and for every doubt you had that you were a good mom. Let me tell you now, you did a wonderful job! Not many could be the mother of 4 at just 19. I love you more than you can know. I thank God every day for you. I know I am blessed because you were there. Even when you did not want to be, you chose to do it any way. Thank you!
(I posted a version of this earlier, but it got deleted. I wanted you to see it Kelly. You deserve some public praise for your most private accomplishment!)
Thank you so much for this article. As my two babies shower me with love I still feel pain for my mom. She’s still alive but suffers from bipolar disorder among others. She uses words to hurt to manipulate and to tear down and she thinks she’s saved and only uses Gods word as a weapon to make you feel guilty for not doing what she wants you too. A few months ago things had reached a point where she was starting to say things to my kids and in order to stop it I’ve had to keep her from them and stop talking to her and stop listening to the hurtful voice mails. I struggle with guilt and anger and hurt. But I know it’s what’s best for me and my kids. God holds me and comforts me today.
I lost my mom to ovarian cancer two years ago, and nothing prepares you even when you are prepared mentally and know the outcome.
Head and heart. Two opposing forces at times.
I miss her all over again every mother’s day as if it’s brand new.
I am struggling in the valley with my child and long for her to cry with me. She would understand. She went through it too.
I struggle why the very one who would get it, isn’t here.
But mom, I don’t wish you away from paradise with our Lord because I know you must be celebrating there the mother’s both with you, and those still on earth, living it out..
I wish she would’ve said no to the Vicodin. Maybe the anger, manipulation, controlling, & shaming would’ve been put aside. I loathe this holiday. I am trying to find a new Mother’s Day as a mother of three. I celebrate being their mom. A mom who was saved by grace who can be taught how to be a Christian mother through His lessons. There is a lot of pain in this holiday but I don’t doubt He will redeem what “mother” means in my life.
This is my first Mother’s Day without my Mom here on earth. Alzheimer’s had taken her away before she finally went home to Jesus. I miss her so very much. Thank you for sharing!
Oh the tears that ran down my face reading this article. Losing a parent can make a grown adult feel like an orphan. Thank you for these words!
Thank you for these words. My mom died of cancer a month after my wedding. Fifteen years and two beautiful daughters later, I think her often and also contemplate what it means to be a “motherless mother.” I’ll be excited to read your book!
Thank you for this today!
Oh the tears! So many tears not even shed so that I could remain strong. My mother was broken by unspeakable acts against her as a teen and never was a mother to my brother and I. Our stepmother did the best she could given her own brokenness. Either way, I have been motherless my whole life and now am a motherless mother of four. Even my mother-in-law rejected being a mother towards me. Mother’s Day always leaves me feeling lost. Today’s sermon reminded me that even so, my name is engraved on God’s hand and he has never left me even though all earthly mothers did. I pray that I never forget it.
My mom was never there for us. Partying a shirking responsibility was her thing.
What a beautiful message! I too, lost my mother suddenly and feel that loss everyday.
Wow. I needed the permission to just cry today. Its been a tough relationship and I thought it would get better but I think it may not happen. Called mom (and we don’t talk frequently) and her home number is disconnected and her phone is off. Ouch. Don’t know how to process it other than to rely on God and pray for peace and that she is ok.
Thanks again for the article.
My mom was bi-polar and took her life 12/27/04. Your post means so much, and I thank you. She was my midwife for my son 14 years ago (born after just 4 hours in labor!), but I had to find a different midwife for my daughter (surprised us all by arriving in 2.5 hours!), and I missed her terribly. One thing that comforted me was that I’m sure my mom met my daughter’s soul in Heaven so Katie Rose (named Kathryn after my mom’s middle name and Rose for my mother-in-law!) already knows her Gramma and how much she is loved. ♥
Thank you for this lovely post. Everyday is mother’s day. I am fortunate my mom is still with me, but so many of my dear friends are “motherless moms”. I will share this with them as I think it will bring them comfort and memories of joy. Blessings.
I lost my mom 11 years ago, just two weeks before my wedding day. Life does move on but you always miss those little moments. Never more than after you become a mother yourself. Thank you for this beautiful article.
Your article is very comforting to me since my mother died 12 years ago. And I have been anxiously expecting to see her first when I leave the earth some day. Whenever I saw Easter lilies I miss her a lot. She had Easter lilies in her wedding and full of white lilies at her funeral too.
I lost my mom at 12 and it felt like I had to grow up fast and take care of myself since she wasn’t around (even though I had my amazing aunt who raised me). To this day it still kind of shocks me when I look in the mirror and I see glimpses of my mother in my reflection, for me that means I am definitely my mothers daughter. I don’t have any kids but I wish that I could of one day been able to tell her that I am pregnant and see the look on her face.
I cried as I read this….I have two beautiful motherless DIL’s who are also mothers. My heart aches for them today. Sometimes I feel so inadequate to meet their needs. Any advice you could share. They are mid 20 somethings.
18 years Mom has been gone. I’m just going to say what I feel, even though it’s not what everyone wants to hear. I don’t feel the loss and pain any less today than I did that Mother’s Day she was taken. Time did not heal the ache like everyone promised it would. If anything, it just grows each year, with the amount of time I have missed her. The only reason I have allowed myself to live in happiness is because I have faith in God. I know that He is all mighty and His reasons are far beyond my understanding. I have given up trying to understand why. I know that one day we will be together again in a place that is perfect, where there will be no pain, no tears, no heartaches, just everlasting joy. Even though I know she’s in that perfect place, the selfish part of me can’t help but still be angry. I’m mad that we only got 10 years together. I’m furious she wasn’t there for me when I needed her. I’m angry that my daughters and husband don’t have her in their lives. Most days, I push this to the back. I don’t allow myself to dwell on it. Staying angry isn’t going to bring her back. So, I choose to allow the happiness in my life to take over. I count my blessings, pass on the unconditional, unmeasurable, eternal love she gave me to my own children, and remember all the memories I have of her. I’m thankful I have this much, for I know there are many others who have far less. I am blessed. This Mother’s Day, I bought some red rose bushes, her favorite, and a garden stone with a beautiful poem. I’m planting a rose garden in the front of my house in memory of her. I love her and miss her so much and hope I am giving my girls everything she gave me.
Thank you, Lisa, for these wonderful words of encouragement.
I lost my mom 4 years ago but everyday feels like yesterday. She was my teacher, best friend, role model, my inspiration and my biggest fan. I love and miss her dearly!
Thanks Lysa, for this heartfelt post. I lost my mom right after giving birth to me second child and she never knew my nieces and nephews. While I have missed her tremendously, I know where she is. While we understand and reach out to those of us who are motherless, I also want to bring to attention those of us which are mothers who have been estranged by our children. This is a very painful time for mothers who have lost their children through death, through heartless court systems favoring a vengeful parent, and, in my case, the rejection of a child because of the child’s emotional and mental problems or from persisting sin. I am especially drawn to those elderly mothers whose children are so self centered that they never acknowledge the sacrifices and love that was lavished on them growing up. I, also, am experiencing great pain as a motherless mother whose child has rejected and cut off contact because of the dangerous and ungodly lifestyle he has chosen. It is extremely painful when a parent is a single parent making great sacrifices for my children seeing them reject that love and heritage that is meant to be an eternal blessing.
My mother lost her battle with cancer when I was 8 years on May 29, 2002. I’m 20 now and not a day goes by that I don’t remember her. Most memories are of when we’d go on long walks together, sit on the front porch and watch the lightening bugs light up the night, and so much more. I really do struggle with memories of how she looked near the end though.. Cancer is a horrible disease but it never took away her beautiful heart and smile. My heart shatters when I think about the milestones I’ve had and will still have to go through without her. I would’ve have loved to continue growing up with her and continue to learn from her. I pray that when God blesses me with children I’ll be a mother like her who loved unconditionally, selflessly, and with everything she had. She was a true angel and I’m so incredibly grateful for the time God gave me with her❤️
Thank you so much for posting this. How beautifully written it is. I lost my mom at the age of 15, and am 34 now. I have 4 children that she never got to see. It is easy to think about all of the things that I missed out on not having her here. No one to help me get ready on prom, or my graduation, or my wedding, or my babies days of birth. But I have 4 beautiful children, and can mother them. I hopefully can be there for them a lot longer than my mother got to be. I am only 8 years away from the date that my mother died of brain cancer. It is scary to think I could only have 8 more years with my babies. But God is good and he has a plan for us all, that is way better than any plan we can imagine. Thanks again.
Thank you for this post. I lost my mom tragically 7.5 years ago, two months after I was married. Her and I were just getting to that great spot in our relationship. I had finally grown up and could be her friend. And then she was taken from us. I feel like so many things were left unsaid because we were always waiting. I became a mom in 2012 and while I never thought I could do it without her, somehow I manage. I’ve recently come to the point where I need to push myself a little harder to move on. Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok to be where I am at, to just want to cry, to not know how to be a motherless mother all the time. Thank you.
[This is what I posted on Facebook today, my mom died 2 weeks after my 21st birthday after 2 years of fighting cancer, I am now 44 and miss her every day]
I am so very blessed to have the Mom that I did.The best thing Mom gave us was her faith in God. My last conversation with her was I asked her how she can give her life to a god that would put her through so much pain and suffering. Her answer was “If this is what the Lord has in store for me, then I will do it gladly.” She died a few days later. It took a long while [years] to understand this but I realized that the best tribute I can give her is to life a life for God in the same way she did. I do and I have, If you knew my mom or have/had a mom who lived her life for the Lord, are you honoring her by knowing God? Call me if you want to know how to know God.[the way I know is to help someone else know God]
My mom died when I was 3, so really, I just wish I would have known her at all. I had an aunt who stepped in to help raise me so I didn’t miss to much of mom things until I became a mother myself. I wish she was here to tell me things, to call when I had questions and to laugh with. I can’t wait to get to know her that glorious day we meet again.
That made me think a different way thank you!
I lost my mother when I was 23…only a few months after giving birth to my first. I’m thankful for the last few years I had with her – as she fought ovarian cancer- I’m thankful for those years that we drew closer together. I’m thankful for her advice during my first pregnancy …I’m sad she never met my other children. I miss her encouragement, her never-ending love, and all that we have in common.
A dear friend of mine sent this to me today on Mother’s Day…she has been such a supportive friend over the years…I love her more than words can express. I didn’t know Lori when my mom died when I was only 20 yrs.old and my mom was 43, when she lost her battle to lung cancer. My mother was amazing and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t honor the wonderful mother she was to me and my two sisters. It was about five years later that Lori entered my life and we were raising our first daughter’s together…this was an especially tough time for me, but she was an amazing friend during that time and to this day she has been such an inspiration to me and helped to shape me into the motherless mother that I am to my own three daughters..with out her I would have been lost…so today I want to honor her, Lori Woelfel, for the amazing mother she is to her children, friend she has been to me, and for sending me this beautiful writing, which reminds me that it is okay to weep, be a motherless daughter, and grow in my faith as a motherless mother…that the Lord will never forsake me or leave me. This writing brought tears to my eyes the minute I started reading it…the best part was that one of my daughters got out of the car and gave me the best hug ever!! Even though I have felt the deepest sadness, loosing a mother, God gave me the best blessing ever, three incredible daughters.
I lost my Mom eight years ago from Leaukemia, and I just miss her. I miss sharing all the ups and downs of life. The every day things. Being able to pick up the phone, and bear my soul to someone who would always listen. That was my mom. For her I miss that she only got to meet one of her Great Grandchildren. She loved young children, and she would have loved on them I know. I regret not appreciating her, like I would now if given the chance. Telling her how much I love her, and how grateful I am for the sacrifices she made for me. How thankful I am that I had a Christian mother who made sure that we were in church every Sunday, and that Jesus had first place in our home. My sister, brother, and I came to accept Jesus because of the example she set for us. What greater thing can a mother do for her children, than to see that they come to know the Lord. I am lucky! Lucky that I will get to see mom again someday in Heaven.
Gone 4 years ago. I was 28. I wish I could hold her hand again, sit and talk in the yard as we watch the kids run around and play, go thrift store shopping, call when I’m having a bad day, ask parenting advice…it’s tough being a motherless daughter. Perhaps Today!
I really needed to tag this today this is my fourth Mother’s Day without my angel. My mom suddenly died on Christmas Eve 2010. I miss her terribly everyday to the point that the pain is almost too much to bear. I have even thought about taking my own life but then I thought about my babies and the pain that would put them through. I couldn’t imagine leaving them with the pain that I have to endure. No one truly understands what it means to lose your mom. It’s a club that no one wants to join. This article was refreshing and touched me deeply Thank you for your words.
I really needed to read this today this is my fourth Mother’s Day without my angel. My mom suddenly died on Christmas Eve 2010. I miss her terribly everyday to the point that the pain is almost too much to bear. I have even thought about taking my own life but then I thought about my babies and the pain that would put them through. I couldn’t imagine leaving them with the pain that I have to endure. No one truly understands what it means to lose your mom. It’s a club that no one wants to join. This article was refreshing and touched me deeply Thank you for your words.
My mother left me in the hospital……never held…….not welcomed into the world…….but I miss having a mother……miss knowing her…….miss her knowing me………my foster mother died many moons ago……I miss her…….she did the best she could with what she could……..I miss her……..both have missed so much in my life……and who I have grown to be…….and who my son is………he misses not having a grandmother in his life………being a mother is not easy……..I don,t know how many bottles I have filled with my tears………I. Miss having a mother……your article sent echoes down the corridors of my mind and heart……..thank you. Shefalie
I am so blessed to still have my mom at 90. I lost my only child in 2012. God is faithful! Thanks for sharing such beautiful words!
This was the perfect post. Thank you for sharing!!
I grew up in a home with a very distant mother (where hugging was considered too much affection and I only ever remember dad coming in to say goodnight). When I left for college and then took a job after graduation, I moved to a different state and almost ceased to be a part of my family (not my choice). I rarely hear from my mother. When we do talk she likes to let me know what’s wrong with my life (I work for a church, and apparently I had “so much more potential”).
Almost 5 years ago I miscarried my only child. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, sad that I didn’t have the chance to be the kind of mother to my child that I always wanted. I know that one day I will be, but for now this day is hard.
I consider myself a motherless child and a mother who lost her child. But I remind myself daily that God is good and that He has a plan for my life, and I place my hope in His unfailing love. In the meantime, He has blessed me immeasurably with older women in my life who walk alongside me to fill the shoes of “mom” and who set an example of a “godly mother” for me to follow when I do have children. He is good…all the time.
Thank you for your post, and for the reminder to sing through the storms of life. Indeed, “it is well, it is well with my soul.”
Beautifully communicated for all mothers to contemplate and reflect upon. I’m sure we all can name someone that fits into each situation. Thank you for sharing part of your personal journey! I say, amen! It is well with my soul!
Beautiful, I feel better now. Thank you.
I lost my mom when I was 19. I’ll be 26 in a couple weeks. This Mother’s Day I have found it hard to choose joy and thankfulness for the women in my life whom I’ve met through church and who have spoken truth and encouragement into my life and am instead heartbroken. I crave to hear her voice, feel her embrace. But I mostly miss the gleam in her eye, her zeal for life. The love she had for me, I was the apple of her eye and she was always so proud. I could do no wrong. And I’m presented with the fear of my wedding day, my first child and other milestones because who will be there to tell me and truly believe in their heart that I am a beautiful bride or a fabulous mother. I am not going to get those moments. I won’t get the hand me downs, the heirlooms, the unannounced visits that drive people crazy. It’s absolutely painful to think about.
I lost my Mom a week ago today and it is all still very raw. I am not sure how I am going to get through all of this without her but know that she is at peace and with her parents and her Father in Heaven is comforting. It is hard to celebrate Mother’s Day, as I am a mom of three, without being able to celebrate it with her too.
Thank you so much for this post!! Although I am soooooo blessed with 2 beautiful inside and out adult daughters (and even some beautiful grandchildren) I find Mother’s Day to be such a bittersweet (and sad) holiday for me. My mother died 20 years ago when I turned 39. But even before then, since when I was a 5 year old, my mother developed a mental illness and with it so much of her was taken from us. So therefore, even in this adult body, I still grieve over the loss of her which happened even before her death. Through it all, she somehow still seemed to keep inside of her a beautiful heart that would show itself in between the episodes. I choose to remember that about her. Today I would love to have known her longer before her illness took over. I would love to sit in the kitchen and talk with her about the little things in this life that are hard and hear her give me some of her heart advice. I am so thankful for the sisters she gave me. We are best friends and we understand so well what so many women yearn for in the missing of their mothers. My heart goes out to each of you with hugs and love.
God Bless you so much for this!!! I just miss everything about my mom her beautiful smile and unconditional love. I know she would love how caring and outgoing her granddaughter is with others.
My mom no longer speaks to me. I suffered greatly at the hands of my stepfather, and she could not bear to hear the truth when I was left with no choice but to tell her. I wish she had not chosen him over me…. the rejection still hurts.
I had the same thing happen. Then she turned around a took 2 of my children away. With a new husband who is not much better, maybe worse. I have pain daily and pray God brings my children home to me and there sister who was old enough to say she wanted me.
God bless u
(Some times it is so hard not to pray for her punishment.)
Thank you for this. It lets me know I’m not alone with being a motherless mother. You put into words as well as many posts have my feelings. I feel it is okay to share them. There is a sisterhood out there of people with the same experience. God bless you
Your words ring so painfully true to me as tears flow from a heart long broken from a mom that I have desperately wanted and needed…she was sixteen when she had me, I was the second of the four that she bore. Her first, her mother raised as her own. I was the oldest of our family of three kids and the only daughter. She has never healed from so many losses in her life including her first daughter and both her parent’s by the time she was twenty. My sister and grandmother died in a tragic car accident that left my mother never the same. Losses through no fault of her own and losses that she seems to choice year after year. I don’t know if she will ever see or hear that I love her…living with my own loss challenges me everyday to reach out beyond it, to give even when I feel I have nothing to give; to love with an empty reservoir sometimes. I continue to pray for a miracle, but must continue to live fully by the grace of God. My mom was an unwed teenager and I in my forties with our adopted four-year-old son; our stories so, so different….Except for the grace of God, where would I be?
Thank you for writing your story and taking time to read mine…Kim
I am not yet a mother but this was a beautiful post. I lost my mom almost four years ago & every day I still miss her. She believed in me & believed that one day I will have my happily ever after. She believed that I would be the one to have her first grandson. I miss her so much & wish she were still here to tell me that I will have the desires of my heart in God’s timing. I have to remember the confidence she had & pray that she taught me how to have the same.
This is a very hard day for me as I have not been married or had children of my own. My sister died in 1993. I already had her daughter living with me and her youngest son came to stay with me while she was in the hospital but she never came home. Loretta (my sister) and I were always close growing up as she was like a second mom being 10 years older than me. We had this pack that if anything happened to either of us the other would take and raise the others children. I loved these kids as my own but they are not. I’ve done for them just as I would have done for my own children but they are not. I’m missing the opportunity today to hear Happy Mother’s Day from my child…from someone besides a friend who knows some of this hurt inside me. I’m thankful for all the growth from this and these hurts…God’s love is wonderful.
My Mom has been gone 14 yrs. I remember that first Mothers after she passed…I had run to the grocery store and walked passed the cards. The Mother’s day cards were all there and it hit me…I would not be buying one! Before I even fully understood what was happening, the tears began to flow. I hurried out with what I needed so no one would notice. I am happy to say that the years have helped heal the sharpness of losing my Mom. I miss her daily, and especially today..but I rejoice knowing I will see her someday in heaven. Until then I take what she taught me and pass it on to my children. They are all givers to others who need help just like my mother. Love and miss you.
This is my 12th Mother’s Day without my mom who died of breast cancer at 59. She missed my 2 sons births as well as 8 other grandchildren. She would be over the moon with all of these kids. I hate that I won’t see her interact with them or tell them stories about me when I was young. It’s a crappy club to belong to – motherless mother.
Lost my mom when I was 9 years old. A drunk driver ran into her lane and hit her head on. That was 1967. I am the youngest of five children. There have been so many times over the years that I wish my mom could have been here to share in my life… my marriage, my children and grandchildren. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I still miss her so much more than words can say.
She’s been gone for 21 years but today it’s hitting me hard. This made me cry again. But it feels okay to do that. Hoping to shake this soon.
I am 6 months pregnant, and I lost my mom unexpectedly exactly a week ago. While we sat in the hospital waiting room for 6 days, for some reason I kept running through the lyrics of “It is Well With My Soul” in my head. At the time I couldn’t even explain it, and fought it because I didn’t feel ready to let go yet. I ultimately wasn’t ready even when we knew the time had come, but I knew that she was, and it wasn’t about me, or even my selfish desire for her to be around to meet her granddaughter. It was about letting her go home. I don’t think I could have found this at a better time. I honestly don’t know what else to say, but “thank you.”
I can only hope to become half the woman she was. Praise be to the Lord for the thread of grace that I can see shining through my entire life without her. God has been faithful to send others to fill in the gaps of being a motherless mother.
My Mom passed away while I was in college so many years ago now. She never met any of her grand kids, but she would have loved them. I remember when my daughter was born I cried one entire day in the hospital, sad that my Mom was not there, that she wouldn’t be able to hold her grand daughter. Sad that my daughter wouldn’t know her grandmother. It is hard, to not have someone to call and ask questions when your child is colicky until all hours of the day and night. To not have someone tell you “you did that when you were little too.” I hear it from my in-laws, stuff our kids do that remind them of my husband…and I feel horrible for being jealous of it but it makes me sad, it hurts that I don’t have someone to tell me that. There have been so many times I wish I could call up and say “Hey Mom, how old was I when I…..”
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am in tears, but it was nice to read how I feel written by someone else. To know I’m not alone.
This is beautifully written. It resonates with this single-mom who has such a broken relationship with my own mother. “And those who have challenging relationships with their moms who try to navigate Mother’s Day with grace but some necessary distance.” – this absolutely captures what my day felt like today. I’m glad I ran across this posting to end my day. Thank you for sharing.
This is beautiful & I know a few special ladies who needed this today.
Thank you for this. I think of my mom everyday, but Mother’s Day brings her even closer. Her and I were the very best of friends up until the day she died. We celebrated Mother’s Day with her two years ago in the hospital and less than a month later (June 13, 2012) she was called home. It has been so hard not to have her here to share exciting events, such as my youngest son’s high school graduation or the day my husband was called to preach. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her whenever I am going through challenges or just to chat. I miss her terribly, but I know I will see her one day and that gives me comfort.
Thank you. My mom has always been struggling with her own issues and I’ve often thought the exact words you wrote….”I don’t have a Mom”. Picking out a Mother’s Day card is one of the hardest things to do because I have to find one that isn’t untruthful about how I feel. Sometimes I just wish I had a Mom to tell me everything is going to be alright. All I can do is try to be the kind of Mom I always wished (still wish) I had. I’ve learned to forgive and realize that she did the best she could, but it still just hurts. So, thank you for your words. And for understanding. That means more than anything. God Bless!
thank you for sharing! i lost my momma 21 years ago this December…and i feel the mother – hunger every day! those heart-strings are stretched so tight! LOL You are never ‘old enough’ to do without your momma! i will spend time today thinking about what makes me HER daughter….it is so obvious , but i want to mark them and write them down. she was such an amazing godly woman i hope the list is long ! I am comforted knowing she is in Heaven with some of my babies- she loved her grandbabies! i still try to live the mothering journey in ways that she would have- and better in the few areas she was so ‘human’ 🙂 Thank God we have the perfect example in HIM and we will have eternity with Him and them !
My Mom has been gone 11 years and of course I still miss her. All holidays are hard, but especially Mother’s Day. Breast cancer that metastasized is what took her. There are so many things I would like to share with her again. .. a cup of coffee, joking and laughing, giving her a hug, telling her I love her. But also her getting to spend time with her great grandbabies. Looking forward to seeing her again in Heaven.
I am heartbroken about watching my first born graduate from our homeschool without Mimi, my mom, being there. She would be so proud of both of us: Hannah Beth for doing so stinkin’ well and me for persevering in something she didn’t understand at first, but supported me anyway. I am most heartbroken that every milestone like this will be met by a woman my dad married a few years ago instead of my mama. It hurts so deep down that I swear it feels like a body part.
Trusting God in grief is a beautiful way to find a deeper faith. I’m grateful He meets me there, but it still stinks.
Thank You for yoyr post. Wish I would’ve read it yesterday. It was my 4th Mothers Day without my Mom alive. But more than I care to count without her. We never were very close. I’ve never had any children of my own. I just felt terribly lost and alone yesterday. Even though I was with my husband and his family.
Beautifully written, thank you! I am still blessed to have my mother, although our relationship is strained.
I have an estranged relationship with my mom. She put us in a lot of bad situations as children and my adult relationship with her was very toxic. Mother’s Day is very hard for be even though I adore my children and they make it very special. All I see on Facebook is like and share if you love your mother or if you have the best mom and it makes me wish I had the type of mother these people do. It can be depressing, but I have to remember how blessed my life is and let go of that pain.
I to an a motherless daughter. Blessed & sad occasionally it gets the best of me. I really want to address the gal who wrote of being adopted & not touched as a newborn. I am a registered nurse in labor & delivery, et me be the first to tell you sweet sister in Christ. The nurses loved in you & cared for you until your foster family met you, each one of the adopted babies gets extra living from the labor nurse & nursery nurses. In fact I know this because I have had the privilege to hold many babies but these sweet babies have a special journey that The Lord places in a nurses arms. The other is our stillbirths. I have never get The Lord presence as much as when I held these 2 different types of babies.
Beautiful post, again. Thanks for sharing.
Mother… of all the jobs I’ve ever had… mothering my daughters has been my favorite! Love your web page… Have a wonderful day.
Thank you for this beautiful post. It shocked me, when we had our first baby and we were trying to juggle all the different doctors appointments for me and our babe, how many people would say “why can’t you just get your mother to take care of the baby?” Or “oh, just leave your baby with your mother”, like it was a foregone conclusion. My mother left my ailing father and cut me out of her life because I stayed behind to care for him. He is gone but she is alive and despite many attempts I made to reconcile will not see me or my children. Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day but I try to focus on the blessings of my two babies and believe that I’ve done all I can to honour all the relationships in my life, to the best of my ability.
Do you have any suggestions for prayers for expectant moms?
I just want to say I am so glad I came across the numerous books by authors of proverbs ministries. I laugh, I cry , I identify and I heal.
Lysa,
I’m a mother without a mother, and now a grandmother of 5 three boys and two girls, it’s hard sometime to know what to do and what to say and most important what not to do or say. please keep me in your prayers thanks and keep up the wonderful work you do, and yes tea is my favorite it’s one of the things i share with my granddaughter. love you Lysa.
Its during the hard times that I miss her most…… I would love to be able to hear her voice tell me its going to be ok or run to her and cry when every I have a bad day….. I feel so alone trying to get through life on my own and its so hard!