Lysa TerKeurst | Leading Women in the Adventure of Faith

6.24.2020

The Importance of Having Honest Conversations

We all need friends we can trust. Those we can have honest conversations with in the midst of our pain and confusion. People who don’t pull away when things get messy.

If you’ve felt stuck in past hurts, I would love to be that friend for you today.

I understand, deeply and personally, how hard it is when someone does something unchangeable that also feels unforgivable. I’ve cried countless tears and wrestled through so many questions.

That’s why I want to tell you about The Word Alive event. It happened a few days ago, but you can still access it TODAY. It’s a time of worshiping together. Opening up God’s Word together. And I share “5 biggest misconceptions about forgiveness” while telling more of my own story of heartbreak and healing.

You’ll also hear a conversation I had with one of my own dear and trusted friends, Dr. Derwin L. Gray. He let me ask him questions about how we have healthy, biblical conversations about racism right and other positive steps to take. And he did such an amazing job of taking us back to Scripture and offering us much needed wisdom. Honestly, I think it’s a conversation every family needs to listen to.

And because my friends at LifeWay have graciously extended the availability of this event, you can still register for The Word Alive and view the replay at any time until July 13th.

Get your access to watch here.

5.21.2020

Finding Peace When We’re Tempted to Panic

“When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.” Daniel 6:10 (ESV)

Nothing can throw me into a pit quite like circumstances I can’t control. It’s that place where anxiety threatens to swallow me whole as my mind races through all of the fear-inducing what-ifs and unknowns.

That’s why I’m so thankful for the example set by Daniel in Scripture. Daniel 6:1-15 gives us such a clear picture of what we can do when all that feels safe and secure in our lives begins to come under attack.

In Daniel 6:10, Daniel has just learned that anyone caught praying to someone besides King Darius will be thrown into the lions’ den. Can you imagine the level of fear this edict could have stirred up in Daniel? He easily could have found himself in a pit of despair before he ever came close to that pit full of lions. But Daniel’s reaction is amazing.

Daniel goes home, throws his windows open and prays anyway. I wonder if I could have been so brave?

And do you know what he chose to pray?

“God, save me!”

“God, it’s not fair!”

“God, this is too much!”

“God, smite my enemies and wipe them out!”

No. None of the above.

Daniel 6:10b tells us Daniel spoke prayers of gratitude. “He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.”

Since Daniel’s response is so opposite of the way most of us would react, it makes me stop and ponder. And what I discover are three powerful truths I want to both remember and live out.

1) Thankfulness must become a habit.

Our initial responses are usually a by-product of the rituals we’ve established in our life. Since gratitude-filled prayers were Daniel’s reaction, that tells me gratitude and trust in God were front and center in Daniel’s heart. Daniel was able to give thanks, even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances, because it was a habit he’d already formed in his life.

2) Fighting fear begins the moment we start giving thanks.

Being a thankful person seemed to help Daniel combat fear. Never once does the story mention Daniel trying to hide. He didn’t set about trying to control or manipulate his situation. He simply threw his windows open and prayed where anyone and everyone could see.

This wasn’t Daniel living in denial of his circumstances. This was Daniel turning to God in the midst of his circumstances.

3) We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our eyes on God.

Daniel’s posture during prayer is revealing. First, we see Daniel was praying toward Jerusalem — a posture based on King Solomon’s words in 1 Kings 8:35-51 during the temple dedication. Daniel knew where his help and his hope came from — it came from God, and God alone.

Daniel’s deep level of trust is also revealed in that he was kneeling as he prayed. Prostration is a sign of both self-awareness and God-awareness. (1 Kings 8:54, Ezra 9:5, Luke 22:41, Acts 7:60) It’s an act of deep humility. We may not always be kneeling when we pray, but we can always choose the posture of Daniel’s heart.

Let’s ask the Lord to help us humbly and gratefully fix our eyes on Him instead of fixating on our problems today. And let’s allow Daniel’s life to be proof to our hearts that the words of Isaiah 26:3 are indeed true: God is able to keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on Him, because they trust in Him.

Father God, I know it is normal for us to sometimes find ourselves in a pit of fear and discouragement. But we don’t have to stay there. Today, we’re choosing to fix our eyes on You. And we’re remembering that each and every thing we verbalize our thankfulness for is like a steppingstone out of the pit we’ve been in. Thank You for providing Your timeless truths that prove to us over and over again how powerfully capable You always are. With You by our side, we have no need to fear. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

5.5.2020

The Day My Fragile Identity as a Mom Melted

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

She had the most angelic sweetheart lips. Eyes as blue as the most tranquil oceans. Blonde ringlet curls. Chubby cheeks begging to be kissed over and over. Little hands that instinctively curled around my finger while simultaneously melting my heart.

Pure sweetness wrapped in a pink blanket.

And then came the day this little creature pursed those lips, gripped the toy in her hand, tilted her pigtailed head and screamed, “Mine! Mine! Mine!”

The fuss was over a small red toy my friend had let her borrow, my friend who was much more organized than I am. She’d brought along toys and baggies of Cheerios to keep the kids entertained during our coffee date. The plan to use this toy as temporary entertainment had worked beautifully. Until it was time to go.

I could feel a burning flush of embarrassment rush from my chest to my face.

Of course, my friend’s child was shining her halo with one hand while happily handing over her yellow toy with the other.

“Mine! Mine!” My daughter screamed as every eye in the small restaurant stared at me.

I pried the toy from her hand, thanked my friend, and hoisted my kicking and screaming daughter out of the wooden highchair. And then, in slow motion, I watched her knock my paper coffee cup from my hand and send it careening across the floor, splattering coffee on all those near us.

I felt my fragile identity as a mom melt into the puddle of spilled coffee. What happened to my angel? My beautiful daughter was … not so angelic.

It’s been many years since that day in the coffee shop.

But oh, how I wish I could go back and sit with my inexperienced mommy self on the drive home.

I would say, “Your daughter is a child in need of a parent. She needs to be taught. And some of your best teaching opportunities will come when she puts her sin nature on display. Don’t fear or fret or feel like this is some sort of failure on your part. Her outside demonstrations are an internal indication of her need for guidance. So guide her. Love her. And always remember to be the parent. Not her friend. Not her buddy. The parent.”

I needed to know what Proverbs 22:6 teaches: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

That daughter is 26 years old now. And she’s an absolute delight.

But growing her up wasn’t always easy. There were many more times when she put her sin nature on display, and each time I had to choose to be the parent.

It’s not easy to be the parent. It seems less and less popular to tell kids no.

As parents, we need to set biblical boundaries, teach our kids the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations, draw lines between what’s appropriate and inappropriate for language and entertainment, model manners, and show them what it looks like to seek a life of godliness, not just religious activity.

Glory knows I’ve been so imperfect with all this.

But holding the line on being the parent, even when done imperfectly, is good.

All of these hard parenting moments will be worth it.

Even in those seasons where you feel as if your children are doing the opposite of what you’ve taught them. All that parenting is in them, and the fruit of it will emerge one day.

Yes, be the parent. Teach biblical truths. Stand strong in saying no, even when it’s not the popular choice.

That’s what our kids need so desperately.

And be encouraged, friend … you’re doing better than you think you are.

Dear Lord, You know better than all of us that parenting is hard. Help us to see each day as a teaching opportunity to raise up children who love You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.