Lysa TerKeurst | Leading Women in the Adventure of Faith

3.22.2019

How Do I Get Through This?

When hurtful circumstances happen in our lives we often wonder, “How will I ever get over this?”

I deeply understand that feeling. Since the release of my latest book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, I’ve received hundreds of emails, direct messages on social media, and inquiries from people asking me how I got through one of the hardest seasons of my life.

Over the next few weeks on the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast, we’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to introduce a 6-week series called Therapy & Theology: How Do I Get Through This? Our goal is to meet you in the middle of your hurt and give you biblical answers on how to move through it.

In this series, you’ll hear me dive deep into conversation with my personal, licensed professional Christian counselor Jim Cress, as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries director of theology Joel Muddamalle.

By listening, you’ll learn how to…

Overcome the feeling that you’ll never get over the hurt you’re facing by recognizing small steps you can take today.
Replace the negative stigma of “therapy” by gaining a healthy, biblical view of counseling for your situation.
Discover the two distinct and necessary parts of forgiveness and how to live them out.
Find hope in the midst of devastating circumstances by seeking restoration for yourself through prayer and proven exercises to help you process your pain.

Listen to the first episode in the series: Why therapy and theology? by clicking HERE.

We pray these episodes over the next six weeks will bring hope and healing into your life.

3.8.2019

What I Really Need Most

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12 (ESV)

Have you ever struggled because you know God can do anything but you can’t understand why He doesn’t seem to be intervening for your situation right now?

You’re trying to hang on to hope, but the more time that passes without any apparent change the harder it is.

In Proverbs 13:12 we’re told, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Deferred in this verse refers to a hopeless situation that feels long and drawn out. It’s the seemingly unending and disappointing kind of season that can leave us tempted to look at our lives and question, “Why is God withholding this from me? Since He’s not intervening I’ll just try to fix it myself in my way.”

This dangerous assumption is reminiscent of when Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve were free to eat of any other tree in the garden. But Eve listened to the enemy. She got alone with her own thoughts and assumptions. And it led her to doubt her Father. Instead of heeding His instruction (Proverbs 13:1), she took control to get what she wanted. What she thought was best. (Genesis 3)

And as soon as she and Adam ate the forbidden fruit…
Perfection ended. 
Curses began. 
Consequences were unleashed. 
And they were banished from the garden. 

If only Eve would have noticed the other tree in the garden with her. The tree of life. The tree of God’s best way and perfect provision. It was there for her. She had a choice.

And so do we.

The tree of the knowledge of good and evil may not be in our physical sight today, but Satan is certainly making use of that same sense of disappointment, of our hope deferred. He wants us to be so consumed with our unmet expectations that our hearts just get more and more self-reliant and sick of waiting on God.

But God wants us to look to the tree of life.

Charles Spurgeon once preached, “My dear friends, you will never see the tree of life aright unless you first look at the cross . . . Thus then, Jesus Christ hanging on the cross is the tree of life in its wintertime.”

In the darkest hour this world has ever known, Jesus died on a cross, on a tree, as Galatians 3:13 puts it in the New Living Translation. But just as we know that trees in the wintertime only appear to be dead, so there was a redemptive transformation at work as Jesus hung on the cross.

Your life may be dark and confusing today. But make no mistake, there is a powerful work happening. And Jesus wants us to hear Him saying, “Eve turned to the wrong tree and received death. I hung on a tree to bring you back to life. I am the fulfillment of your every longing. I am your Tree of Life. Look to Me.”

Let’s make a different choice than Eve did. Turn from the deep desire to know all of the reasons and to control all of the outcomes. That knowledge would be a burden and attempting to control it all will do nothing but entangle you with anxiety and fear.

That’s why God didn’t want Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The knowledge it would give them was a burden God never wanted them to carry. And maybe that’s why we don’t have all the answers to our “why” questions. God isn’t trying to be distant or mysterious or hard to understand. He’s being merciful.

We don’t have to know the plan to trust there is a plan. We don’t have to feel good to trust there is good coming. We don’t have to see evidence of changes to trust that it won’t always be this hard.

We just have to close our physical eyes and turn our thoughts to Jesus. Fix our thoughts on Him. Say His name over and over and over. And know that we can trust our Father’s heart and His plans.

Father God, You keep showing me that I don’t need answers. I need Jesus. Help me stop the madness of my own assumptions of how things must turn out. My soul was made for assurance. And that is exactly what You have given me. The divine assurance of Your Son. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

2.18.2019

Wisdom Together

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13 (NIV)

For all of their lives, my children have known a secret. When circumstances fall apart, there is a safe place. Their mom’s arms. More than a hug, this place beats with the gentle rhythm of a heart that feels what they feel. So they bring what they can’t bear to experience alone into this place. And we reconnect.

So, when my daughter crawled into my arms at 3 a.m. several years ago, I knew. Trouble had found its way into her heart. A boy, whom she thought would handle her heart gently, didn’t. Her crush, crushed her.

She felt it all so deeply. And while I could see it was all for the best, I hurt for her with her split-open heart, because she’s mine — my girl who couldn’t sleep, so she slipped into my bed to be near the rhythmic heartbeat she’s known since she was conceived.

And in the quiet middle of the night, I held her. I brushed her long brown hair off her tear-streaked face. I kissed the wet salt on her cheeks. And I whispered, “I love you.”

And she knew I was safe. Her safe place to run and find when the world got wild and cruel and heartbreakingly mean.

The next morning, she showed me the source of her middle-of-the-night anguish: a text message from him. His words were from a heart entangled with immaturity and his own sources of hurt. He wasn’t a bad person. He was young. And sometimes young means incapable of handling situations the right way.

I understand that. Age has given me that gift. But my young girl did not understand. She took the words like daggers to the heart. And cried.

She handed me the phone.

“Help me reply.”

There we sat in the midst of poached eggs and toast crumbs, talking together, thinking together, replying together.

Together is a really good word. Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life.

No matter what hard place we find ourselves in, feeling alone can make us vulnerable to bad decisions. Hard places can so easily make us want to default to our feelings rather than to wisdom as our guide. That’s not the best time to make a decision. Especially not alone.

I suspect if you’re in a tough place, it probably feels more significant than a teenage heartbreak. I understand. I’ve been there. And I’ll probably be there again. And when we’re there, we have to be honest that we’re not in the place to make big decisions right then. Maybe we’re not even in the place to make decisions on simple requests from others.

This doesn’t make you bad or incapable. It makes you smart. Smart enough to know to pause and take extra time when life takes on extenuating circumstances that are hard.

In this pause from decisions, go to your safe place. When the world beats you down, open up your Bible. Let His sentences finish yours. Let truth walk before you like a guide on a dark path.

And also go to someone in your sphere of influence whom you know is wise. How do we know whom to go to? The Bible makes it clear: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom” (James 3:13).

Yes, let these wise people help you. Stand on top of their wisdom when you feel shaky with your own. When we can rise up on the wisdom of others and get a new view of our situations, our next steps seem a little clearer.

Father, thank You for the help You surround me with — not only in Your Word, but also with the people You place in my life. Give me the wisdom to reach out for help when I need it. And make me aware of those around me who are hurting and could use Your hope. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.