Some moments of motherhood are amazing. Beyond amazing. Blessed treasures of sheer joy.
Then there are other moments. The ones where we feel like a complete failure as a mom. I have them. I suspect you do too.
The moments that taste bitter, not sweet.
The moments that won’t make it into the family scrapbook.
We wonder if we really have it in us to grow a child into a God-following adult.
Yes, those kinds of unglued heart moments aren’t the ones we capture in pictures. But there is a silver lining I’ve discovered in those moments.
Wisdom can be found in the humble and sometimes even humiliating spaces of motherhood.
Wisdom is our silver lining.
Wisdom will help us not repeat the mistakes we’ve made but rather grow stronger through them.
So, how do we find this wisdom?
We come to the Lord and ask Him for it. We set aside our excuses, our habits, and our justifications and whisper, “I need your perspective God. I come before you and humbly admit my desperate dependence on you.”
Proverbs 11:2 reminds us, “with humility comes wisdom.”
Yes, humility.
But wisdom can also come from those times of humiliation as well.
Remember King David from the Bible? He had an affair with a married woman named Bathsheba. When Bathsheba sent word to David she was pregnant with his baby, he panicked and had her husband killed so he could quickly marry her.
His choice brought calamity upon his house and the son born to he and Bathsheba died. Sin and consequences always walk hand in hand. And David surely suffered the consequences of his choices for years to come.
But mixed in with the heartbreak and the humiliation something else happened.
When the repentant David went to comfort Bathsheba she became pregnant with Solomon. From this relationship wrapped in humiliation came the man the Bible calls, “wiser than any other man.”
From humiliation wisdom came.
Humility and humiliation, silver linings that can lead to wisdom even in the midst of “those days.”
Some of my sweet blog friends are talking about their own unglued moments and the positive things they’re learning through it all in their Build ‘Em Up Series! Won’t you pop on over to read pieces of encouragement from them today?
Courtney – Lil Light O’ Mine
Erin – Blue-Eyed Bride
Kelly – Kelly’s Korner
Jennifer – Life in the Green House
They’re each doing a fun giveaway with some tools to equip you as you face those hard moments.
Be sure to see each of the above blogs for your chance to win an Unglued Summer Sanity Package containing a copy of Unglued, the Unglued Devotional, and a set of Unglued keytags.
I think I’ll give one away too! Leave a comment below telling me how you stay calm in the midst of chaos.
I cry out to Jesus to for perspective instead of wallowing in regret and despair.
Try to close my eyes and remind myself that this time will pass..
Pray, pray & pray
We need to be in constant pray for ourselves and others.
Prayers work! So in a moment on pure chaos I remind myself that this will pass and pray. I am a stuffer that builds barriers so I am learning to TALK… Lol! I am in the beginning baby steps of talking my problems out so that it doesn’t become an unglued moment. Lysa thank you for everything you have taught me in my walk with Jesus. You have truely made a diffrence!
In the midst of chaos , I put on some powerful worship music! And peace drifts in!
I take a deep breath, close my eyes and ask God to show me the way.
Think, how would jesus handle this? & then Pray, pray, pray! 🙂
Prayer!!!! It is my only hope. It is the only thing that can change things.
I find a moment to be alone and pour out my heart to the Lord. I also seek the wise counsel of friends who are older and a little further down the road of raising their families…I’m so thankful for them. 🙂
I’ve always wished I could be there person that learns from a situation the first time, but it usually takes that humiliation moment to get the message across!
I’ve begun running – it gives me time to be by myself and clear my head so that when chaos arrives, i’m less likely to jump into the “screamer mom” role and more likely to be patient and calm.
I have found lately that life seems to get more and more complicated. So the only place I feel secure is in the hope of Christ and in His amazing words in the bible. Every time I come to His word, it seems like my heart is always in a mess. He always shows me where I need to be corrected, where I need to act, where I need to trust, where I need to lean, where I need to be quit, where I need to love, where I need to let go. The word of God is life transformation because God invades our mind and helps us see life through His eyes!
Love
Vanessa
Oh Lysa I would say I am in the biggest conflict of my life! On the outside I am remaining calm but on the inside turmoil is raging and my nerves are shot! Right now my Christian Radio station calms me because it reminds me I am not the only one in conflict and that HE does forgive!
I hold my tongue, pray, and talk myself through the situation later. I’ve learned NOT to respond based on emotion because that initial response is usually wrong and I have regrets. I’ve a long way to go but I’m getting there.
Walk away, breathe, breathe, breathe. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles, breathe, breathe, breathe, slow and steady. Pray, pray pray, breathe, breathe, breathe! Calming myself first is key….
“Pray without ceasing.” I Thessalonians 5:17
I don’t do a good job of staying calm during the chaos but I try by separating myself from it long enough to cool off and ask for God’s guidance
I love this and needed to read this this morning! This is the anniversary of the death of my son and even though it’s been 4 years, it is still raw each year just the same. I know he is at the feet of Jesus but that doesn’t stop a Mom from missing their children.
In the midst of chaos I go to my life verse – Jeremiah 29:11. Sometimes it takes a lot of repeating, but it is the promise I hold on to when life seems to be out of control.
I sing worship songs and pray. As I am doing that, I always remind myself that I need to calm down and take a deep breath, because this chaotic moment will cease in a few minutes.
Praying and reciting Scripture to myself. Breathing deeply & slowly doesn’t hurt either! 🙂
I step back and refocus my eyes on Jesus. I just keep telling myself, “Keep your eyes on the Lord.” Then I pray that Jesus will help keep me focused on Him.
I practice my yoga breathing, sit humbly and ask the Lord to open my heart to understanding, praising and praying…
When somethings gets “fired up” inside, I run to God & ask what the core problem is, get that dealt with & it quiets my spirit.
When my 19 day old Grandaughter tragically lost her life we all fell into deep despair, especially her father, my son! He questioned how God could allow this to happen to a innocent precious baby. In his anger, he abandoned God, but God did not abandon him. It’s been almost two years and God has used me as an instrument to help reassure my son that all things allowed by God are for a greater purpose. When I could have come unglued…. God held me together with a mission to help my son. Praise to God!
The times when I take a beat, take a breath, and call on Jesus are the times when I respond in a much more Christlike manner. Wish I would do this in ALL my unglued moments!
I wish I could say I handle it with humility, but I don’t. Learning to. I usually beat myself up and cry. Telling myself see your no good at anything. I know these are lies, but I’ve been doing this for so long, it’s hard to break the habit. I’m a stuffer. You would think at 54 I’d have it together. But that’s not the case. But Gods working on me, he’s not finished yet.
Oh Marcella, I’d love to give you a hug and tell you that you have a beautiful heart. I pray that God will take your self-doubt and replace it with confidence and to being to fill this stronghold that Satan has over you in this area. It’s never too late to think differently or change our reactions, I pray that God will impress upon your heart at each opportunity where He would like you to change your reactions and thought process. I pray that you recognize these opportunities and begin to pray for guidance on how to respond, or to help change your thinking – replacing doubt with confidence, showing you how to respectfully respond rather than stuff. God has amazing things planned for you!!
Staying calm in the midst of chaos begins for me long before the chaos starts. If I take the time first thing in the morning to fall on my knees and pray at the feet of Jesus, my day goes so much better. When the chaos does come, I handle it much better. On those days when I think that I am too busy to pray or something happens that keeps me from that prayer time, I notice a big difference in my attitude and responses throughout the day.
I’m trying to let go and turn to God, but it’s not as instinctual as I would like it to be. I’m definitely a work in progress. So, in the interim, I tend to turn to running or yoga to give me a physical outlet to take my mind off of the matter at hand. I know that I can still turn to God through these activities, but it is something that I have to keep drawing my mind to and intentionally incorporating and I often look back and realize that I missed that connection 🙁
This year daily I have been learning on being Mary (at Jesus’ feet) and not always being Martha (too busy serving the Lord…the church…the family…etc…only to burn out).
Last week I was overcome with despair and a sense of doom while my husband was out golfing with work associates. I knew these feelings were not from God, there was no reason for me to worry about the people he was golfing with and I had just talked with him so I knew he was fine. As I sat sobbing, I picked up my Bible and the Lord directed me to Ephesians – which I began to read out loud, and some parts I could only get out a whisper. I prayed to the Lord to comfort me, while declaring in confidence I would not fall prey to Satan’s whispers. By the end of the reading I was filled with a calmness, and peace. I used to just pray, but sometimes I need the spoken Word in conjunction with prayer while really recognizing the cause/source of my unrest and call it out specifically asking for help. That’s when calmness comes.
Lysa – Your posts always speak to me. I know that humility builds wisdom – I’ve lived it over and over. You would think I would have learned the lesson by now. I prefer control and regretfully that is where I struggle. Thank you for the continued reminders that its okay to be “broken” because in our humble brokenness God can shine the brightest.
I try to call upon Jesus to help me. I go through the Unglued plan of action or I turn up the Christian music loud!
I am still the one who comes unglued more often than not! I do have to repent and seek forgiveness. However I am learning and so I take a deep breath and begin to pray!!!!!
I try to remember scripture that I’ve memorized to fit that moment. If I can’t recall anything I seek some more scripture from the Bible! Possibly a story to compare my situations with. Most recent being Job…
I always say Lord you not me as in your will not mine. And also help me Lord keep my eyes on you!
I have 5 children under 9 years of age, including 21 month old twins. Needless to say, I have those “unglued” moments. At those times, I really have to call on the Lord to bring calm and peace to my heart (even if it means ducking into my bathroom or laundry room to pray). Only He can bring that peace, and He is faithful!
Depending on the sitution, I either jump in with both feet to help take care of the chaos or I just step back and stay out of the way. If the chaos is in my home then I retreat to my office and reclaim my sanity.
I keep my eyes on the Father and pray
Staying calm for me requires planning ahead/organizing so that hopefully the chaos does not happen. Learning to say no. I used to be a person who said yes to anything asked of me. I have been learning to REALLY search and listen to The Lord and follow His will. Saying no is ok when it isn’t in His will for my life and there is no feeling bad or guilty either! I love that!
If there is chaos (usually with my three little kiddos), well… that takes a lot of deep breathing and something else The Lord is teaching me… Grace. 🙂 Turning to Him for direction instead of turning instantly to anger. Pray for this mama as I continue to learn that! Thank you and God bless!
I so needed this today. Yesterday, I had a moment with my daughter and I just felt like I handled it all wrong. It’s been heavy on my heart. So it is time to get on my knees and get this sorted out with God’s help. Thanks so much.
I apologize and seek forgiveness. Then pray, pray, pray. It’s usually my daughter I have to ask to forgive me. Her brother suffers from a very rare disease (only 250 in the United States) so she has had to be very mature. She is also a child who is naturally mature for her age anyways. So I have to remind myself sometimes that she’s still a child who needs nurturing. I am always humbled by how amazing she is and am disappointed in myself when I take her for granted.
I ask God for help & ask him to give me strength, I can’t do this alone. The following scripture had been my go to off & on this year… Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! (Psalms 116:2 NLT)
I pray, pray & pray some more. I found this a few weeks back, it has been a great blessing to me…
P.R.A.Y. = Pray – Repent – Ask – Yield.
My unglued moments are never pretty and I feel horrible about them….during and especially after. When I feel myself getting to that apex of becoming unglued….I hear my daughter’s voice, “Mom, just remember to be Jesus with skin on.”
I’m tearing up just thinking about it now. She’s 13. She’s wise and in touch with God. She’s teaching me when it is I who should be teaching her. 🙂
Take a deep breath…..remember who I belong to….and “just remember to be Jesus with skin on” in those moments of my own personal unglued-ness!
usually a deep breath and a “help me Jesus” are heard when things are spiraling with my kids. my 3 year old daughter has started to pick on the deep breath and asks “mommy, why you go ‘huuuuuh'” and my 2 year old son recently started saying “amen” when he hears me mutter “help me jesus”….better find different tactics!
For so long I would cry and get angry but for awhile now I’ve tried to stop myself to pray and read a devotion (I save a lot on my email on my phone)…I think God leads me to one that will help one way or another…my reacting has improved which has helped our whole family
Prayer!! Also Praise and Worship music can take you away :~)
I find myself trying to get closer to God each day, and every different issue I have to deal with. I am learning to rely on him more and I know he’ll be there for me. I love to read to get positive reinforcement.
My oldest boy in the recent past has found many things to aggravate his younger brother about and yes I have a hard time dealing. It gets way out of hand and there is a lot of resentment from my oldest son towards me so it usually ends up him winning. I have to tell myself this current time too shall pass. Even if I have to go outside side I don’t loose my mind until its over. Thank you Lysa for the encouragement and knowing that I too am not in this alone. Have a wonderful day.
a quick prayer is the most effective. I am ashamed to say that I don’t always do it in time. When I have already been impatient or shouted at my kids, I need to ask them for forgiveness – not easy but it shows them that mommy is not perfect but is also saying sorry when she has done something wrong.
Taking several deep breaths and praying a simple “Lord please help me” helps me. I know that He knows exactly what I need at that moment – even if I don’t. I have also learned to physically get up and out of the situation for a few moments to gain perspective.
In the midst of chaos, I try to always stop before reacting. I pause. I close my eyes. I take a deep breath. And I say a quick prayer for patience, wisdom, and guidance. Then I address the chaos big the situation calls for it I make sure my kids are out of harms way before I close my eyes :-). Sometimes I tell them to pause too. To calmly stop what they are doing and walk out of the room and into their bedroom. Then I have a moment to collect…and talk to their father if needed.
I committed these two verses to memory and rely on them at the moment I feel I am about to be overcome and “unglued.”
Psalm 4:4 Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts, on your beds, and be silent.
Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and say Lord help me to say the right things and handle this situation the way that you want me to handle it.
I stay calm by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Sometimes I do it more than once.
Hi Lysa, I’m still a ‘work in progress’ when it comes to staying calm in the chaos. Your ‘Unglued’ book was such a great read and I’m looking forward to a local bible study on it this summer. I’m also starting a quick-reference of God’s truths you direct us to in your book and will hopefully turn to those in the chaos.
My father in heaven is teaching me through those unglued moments about my heart. If my heart is full of self and people “stepping on my happy” as Lysa says then my reaction will be to come unglued. It is easier to stay glued when we remember our own sinfulness.
.
I’ve discovered through reading “Unglued” I’m a stuffer, but with God’s help I’m going to change!
Your wise words, to use the thoughts that you just gave us, we will certainly be the wiser. Thank you so much for feeding our souls.
I recite “Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Prov 16:3
I tell myself “This too shall pass!” and remember that I’m not alone – I have a God who loves me and my family unconditionally, a supportive husband, a loving family, and good friends who also have “chaotic mom” moments!
I have a hard time staying calm too much of the time, but one thing that helps is to really listen to the other person…look into their eyes and not try to come up with what I will say once they are done talking. Just listen.
I turn and give myself totally into the arms of Jesus. He has always wiped away the tears and placed me back on my feet.
As I stumble through the journey of divorce right now, I am comforted by so many words I have found in Unglued! One phrase that I say over and over is “Your grace is sufficient, Lord, to get me through this”. I also recently found a prayer in a Mother Love prayer book called Just for Today….in it a line reads that” no words of selfishness and unkindness shall leave my lips…seal my lips, oh Lord, just for today!” Thanks for the inspiration to carry on in spite of heartache, Lysa!
I had an unglued moment this morning with my 8yr old daughter over what she wanted to wear. As I started to leave I heard the Spirit loud and clear. I went back in and apologized for my behavior and asked her forgiveness. I didn’t do anything I was supposed to to keep from becoming unglued. I to am still a work in progress but I am thankful for a God who will call me out and humble me.
I pray- or walk away! 🙂
I ASK GOD TO HELP ME BE CALM AND TO GIVE ME WISDOM ABOUT THE SITUATION.
I’ve had a few unglued moments this morning myself. Getting things quiet (turning off the tv, putting a few toys away, forcing myself to speak quietly) help me to regain control.
Faith, prayer, devotionals that I can relate to and your blog (as you always address issues that I am facing). I made so many unglued mistakes with my children that I deeply regret. Those mistakes are what nudged me back into the direction of striving to live my life as the Lord would have me live it. I pray this prayer that I read in an Encouragement Today devotional to help pick me up off the floor and stand tall. Holy Father, the anguish I feel when life slams me seems to be more than I can handle. Give me strength to push on. Remind me of Your peace and keep me focused on the truth that You have a greater plan and purpose.
Lysa, I love your blog. Each morning when I first sit down to open my email and read your blog, I feel like your wrote “Dear Melanie” in the headliner. And as a mother of two little girls, ages 3 and 4, I need to read this particular one everyday, multiple times throughout the day. When I get an “unglued” moment, I try to take a deep breath or three, and ask Jesus for patience and to help me handle that moment as a godly mother to my precious children.
I take a few moments to step away, close my eyes and breathe deep, and just try to remember to stay calm!
Hi Lysa,
I just came across the Proverbs 31 ministries two days ago and since then started to read your blog. I have been encouraged by many posts read and have started to do the sugar free challenge, praying forGod’s strength very often during the day. …
About today’s blog, when I’m overwhelmed in the midst of chaos, when I know things are out of my control, my immediate reaction is to sing worship to God. I guess it’s my way of crying out for help, a prayer with melody. It totally helps me to refocus and reminds my soul to trust in Him.
When I’m tempted to come unglued, I try to sing (or hum) a hymn or Christian song. It’s hard to blow my top when I’m praising and worshipping.
i try to remember that when i come unglued, my kids do too! the fastest way to defuse them is to stay calm!
I hum or sing a hymn either aloud or just in my head. Always calms my nerves.
I try to not get caught up in the drama that surrounds me (husband and teenage daughter). I concentrate on the happiness that God provides me everyday and move forward……
Breathe & pray! Get a big glass of water & eat a little protein. Remember that God is right next to you!
As simple as it may sound, I continue to say the Our Father Prayer to myself and focus on the one part “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. Usually gets me out of whatever negative head space (read negative self talk that’s making it worse!) I am in. 🙂
I as I look at my schedule this next 6 weeks unglued is a word that could describe it. It list a few things that could cause this mom to come unglued…a youngest daughters wedding(this Saturday) a son graduating from High School and leaving 3 weeks later for the Army and well as a possible move. I have to say I have felt unglued at times but as usual Hof is faithful to remind me that with His help I will not be shaken! That He is with me and my children wherever He takes them! I refuse to let anything steal my joy or waste any of these precious moments by becoming unglued!!!! I am holding tight to Hod and His Word to keep me strong! i do hope to get a copy of your book to read when things settle down for me this summer (to help prevent me from becoming unglued after all the events are done)
Remind myself that God is in control and that all things work together for
good to them that love the Lord.
Thank you Lysa for all your encouragement. I love the fullness of Christ verses and plan on blessing others with them as well.
As for difficult moments, God is teaching me to handle them as Jesus did: with His word. Memorizing His word is essential and truly is my bread of life that I can not go with out each day. I have also learned from godly women such as you to invoke the name of Jesus if I can’t think of a verse to focus on in the moment. His name is powerful!
I stop being negative…and speak something true. “Thank you for…….”
Its really hard sometimes, but if you dont its really easy to get caught up with emotions!
I feel unglued when I’m tired or sick. I’ve had some issues with my allergies and fatigue for some time. I finally went to the doctor. It’s so hard for me to put myself first, ever… I find when I make time to care for myself through studying the Word, fellowship with sisters in Christ, prayer, and exercise I am able to keep it together so much more.
Laprochaine@gmail.com
I suffer from anxiety among many other ailments and my copiing mechanism for chaos -Jesus. I just HAVE to stop, breathe, and remember that I am a chosen child of God and I am safe in His arms. Usually, the family realizes this too which helps with some quiet time.
I stop being negative (though I sometimes hate to use that word, its more like fustration, but still negative… hard to admit.) and speak something TRUE!
“THANK YOU GOD FOR___________” (i.e. my kids are health, my home, for this day..etc)
Its hard sometimes but that really helps me to put into persepective of how God has blessed me.
Sorry, If this is a repeat… I didnt see my reply on the mobile app. and really wanted to share how I keep calm, hopefully it helps others.
PRAY, PRAY, and then PRAY some more:)
Thank you so much for this devotion. I was heavy hearted this morning. Dealing with my teenage girls have been a challenge lately. I was walking this morning and read this and realized I am trying to fix it and while doing that, I am not allowing God to do His work! So thank you!! You were a God sent today! 🙂
I try to leave the room. I might succeed more than I think, but usually, I feel that I just fail altogether. 🙁
I tend to want to fix problems, especially those between my oldest daughter and my husband. I need to learn to walk away and let them sort it out. As far as with my two younger children, I just have to laugh when I feel overwhelmed. Otherwise I could get really bogged down.
I’ve had many unglued moments lately. That’s what happens in the life of a stressed, guilt-ridden, working mom! However, something I’ve learned from your books, Lysa, is to just repeat the name of Jesus when I lose control, and like a wave of calm, Jesus fills my heart with peace. Situation diffused. Thanks for all you continue to do to make a difference in the lives of us ordinary women!!
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, Lord.”…boy do I have to repeat that ALOT.
I continue to thank God for being allowed and alive to go through the unglued moment! As hard as that is, prayer is all that sees me through.
I just start praying and asking God to use me in a positive way. 🙂
Thanks so much for this! I heard you today on Focus on the Family. Your presence there always inspires me and helps to start my day off better. The truth is I’m not always calm in the storm. In fact, I’m usually not. I go upstairs to my studio a lot.
Lots of prayers, sweet friends with listening ears, and a nice hot cup of tea!
I pray. Find scripture about the peace we feel when we abide in Jesus. And I have to add that it helps I have such loving, supportive husband to accompany me through it all. 🙂
Oh man, have I been unglued lately. I have been reading your 60 day devotional and it has helped me so much. Lots and lots of praying too!
My son just turned 2 yesterday, but I believe he has thought he was 2 since he was 18 months because he certainly did not wait until yesterday to begin throwing the “terrible twos” tantrums! I find myself praying quickly and desperately or singing a favorite praise and worship song when I think I might lose it.
I am learning to stop, breath and pray.
3 word prayer: HELP ME JESUS 🙂
In the midst of chaos, it can be tricky, but I’m always reminded that I have a choice to submit (to God) or succumb (to my feelings). I try to remember that “this too shall pass” to keep things in perspective.
I don’t always stay calm, but I try. My 2 oldest (26 & 23) aren’t living for God like we taught them. Right now I’m dealing with having to help one of them through a major life mistake. I can’t protect him anymore. When I’m caught up in situations like these, I gravitate toward friends that will remind me to slow down & pray. Having these friends helps keep my head straight & remind me that God is in control.
When life is crazy I have to stop and force myself to view the circumstance with perspective … in the grand scheme of things is it really worth getting in a tizzy over? I can be type-A to a fault sometimes and I love to have control … so chaos really messes with me. I have to teach myself to relax a little and embrace messes/chaotic moments with perspective in mind.
Is it bad that these moments make me cry? Even when I know I should be strong.
It helps me stay calm and refocus by lacing up my running shoes, plugging into my headphones and hitting the pavement. Just me, my music and my thoughts logging miles. I find it easier to let the aggravating moments be released through the endorphins of my exercise and come home rejuvenated and fresh to feel like I can conquer the world again.
I have to stop and take a breather – try to recognize who is causing the chaos – me or Satan…pray and go on about my day!
I turn KLOVE on my computer. I feel if I surround myself with uplifting music. I can relax. Then the “issue” does not seem that big of a deal.
Leave the room if possible, and praying Scripture (like James 1:18) while asking God for help.
I try to stay calm by remembering that my emotions do not have to control me. I do have emotions just like everyone else, but it my decision of what I do with them. I do not have to let them ruin me or relationships with others. Why should I act out or destroy myself inside, when I can take my situation before the Lord and let Him show me exactly what I need to do and how to deal with it, in the right way.
I stay calm (mostly) by reminding myself that my boys remember every time I have ever yelled at them and I hate the thought of those memories getting banked in their little minds forever. A few deep breaths, my breath prayer (Jesus lead me to the rock that is higher than I) and I’m good to go.
Walk away! Take a deep breath and pray. Remind myself that God didn’t promise easy, or that life would be fair. That being a mother is the job God has called me to. Lately my go-to verse is (can’t remember the reference!): “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.”
I have different ways to stay calm….more often than not I try to focus on “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” and I have been trying to stop and pray before I get “unglued”
If I can find the humor in a horrible situation (with my kids), it usually helps me remain calm when I would otherwise come unglued. I’m learning (slowly) that not everything is as important as I make it out to be. So what if something gets spilled? In the scheme of things, it’s really not a big deal at all.
In the midst of chaos, I need to breathe and pray, “Help me, Jesus”
Stop, breathe, pray. and then enjoy the small joys of life
Usually I read God’s word, pray & have caring friends to send me words of inspiration. At this time, me & my family are suffering a huge loss. One of our nine year old twin boys was killed. He was buried on the day that was suppose to be he & his brothers baptism. His brother isn’t handling the loss of his best friend. If anyone reads this, please lift Aidan up in your prayers!
I PAUSE, PRAY, PROCEED 🙂
I think for me I always try to remind myself that I am doing it for the Glory of our King. He gives me or us challenges for us to stay strong and learn from our situations. Every moment becomes a teaching moment for myself or others. Then again there is always a “Mommy time out!!” 🙂
My husband is a very calming influence when I’m crazy:) He is great about taking our kids when I’ve had it up to my eyeballs.
Lysa,
I try to just say “Jesus I love you, ( or thank you or help me!). And using anchor verses as you’ve suggested :).
Usually in those moments, I will breathe, cry and pray!
I have clung to that wisdom so many times since I read Unglued. I pray for a new perspective, God’s perspective. And He gladly gives it to me every time I ask.
I borrowed about 6 books from the library on raising boys, we have 3. I think this is the one I really need!
I have to stop and pray an Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be (or three) before I handle some situations…and I still don’t feel like I handle them the right way!
ummm…I too have had some unglued moments and I don’t feel like I’m handling the chaos all that well but I try to remember to give grace to myself and to others, choose joy, and maybe make some imperfect progress.
Usually I am a stuffer … I smile, get quiet, and walk away. But when I have stuffed too long … I might explode. Those are the moments I have to walk away and pray before I say something I will regret. I love the Unglued study and want to share it with the women in our church!
I try to remind myself to “choose not to be offended” and to “choose peace” even amongst the chaos. My God is bigger than the Chaos of the moment!
A thought of not allowing our kid’s moods and behavior affect our own mood and behavior has always stuck with me. So sometimes in my mind I am thinking “They will not affect my mood or behavior”. And purposely walk myself through without my carnal nature that will reactively yell come out. I fail almost daily, but making progress.
I’m still learning how to stay calm, I’m trying new ways to approach our family situations with out all the anxiety and anger.
Chaos has been the norm most of my life. I’m actually pretty good at staying calm through it – its the after part that I struggle with. The doubt and fear that comes in the quiet after the storm. This is where I have to seek the shelter of the Most High, and walk steadfast knowing He is with me. I’m slowing learning to do this in the midst of the chaos and before I crash and burn. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail – thank the Lord, He’s with me always!
Praying always helps me – just need to think of it in that moment I become “unglued”! Thank you!
I find myself losing it and doubting my motherhood – wondering where I went wrong. I stop and think and remember that I’m not expected to be perfect – I just need to be faithful in raising my kids in the truth – the rest is in God’s hands.
I surround myself with nature and pray! Alone time is a must. Conversation with God and I calms my state of mind and eases the burdens on my heart.
Oh those moments where I stand with my mouth tightly clamped shut afraid of letting those unglued feelings take form into words and escape out of my mouth! My feelings are attached to the fact that I am sitting in a fertility clinic with my 14 year old son who is about to begin chemotherapy for Hodgkin’s. So uncomfortable with the fact that he needs to donate now to prepare for sterilization. Everything in me is unglued…
One of the things I do A LOT in my house when one bad thing after another happens or it’s just been a rough day is to remind myself, this too shall pass.
Pray!!!! Sing!!!
Dirt therapy! when things get chaotic I head outside and get in a little “dirt therapy,” from pulling weeds, trimming rose bushes and taking care of the beauty God has so abundantly blessed us with. I find that “dirt therapy” clears the cobwebs and gets me focused.
I tell myself, no matter what God is still in the throne.
I usually take a deep breath, go somewhere quiet if I can (or just mentally block everything) and pray. Give it to God to handle and ask for guidance & wisdom. Many times I realize it is satan trying to steal my joy and disrupt amy situation. Sometimes this realization comes after the onset of panic or anger but I always weigh it out and pray before I respond.
AWWSOME book, I am helping lead thus small group with other beautiful ladies at my church. Thank you for being an encouragement to me so I can be one to them. Be Blessed
When chaos comes the verse that comes to mind is be still and know I am God ,this gives me peace.
I loved the advice you gave in Unglued about being thankful when you’re about to flip out, so THAT’S what I do! I say aloud everything around me I’m thankful for, and slowly it calms me down so I can handle the situation. Brilliance 🙂
Remembering to breath and that “this too shall pass” helps me!
Im a mom of 3 kids, 2 boys 5 years apart and a girl 4 years apart from the middle one and the middle child has adhd and aspergers. I have come unglued so many times. 1 having a teenager, a aspergers who melt down at every corner and a girl who is so clingy. I learned to rely on God, bible, my husband and my best friend to keep my sanity! The bible verse I always constantly read is Romans 12:22. It is still hard. My oldest is graduating high school in 2 weeks and my asperger adhd sweetie is a teen! Phew! My daughter is still clingy but a sweet mama’s helper. I still come unglued once in a while!
Walk away, take deep breaths and pray….
I always have a plan in my head for how every day should unfold. Of course my plan doesn’t always mesh up with God’s plan, or my husband’s, or my job’s, or the neighbor’s, or the serviceman who was supposed to show up 2 hours ago……….:) I REALLY dislike when my plan goes awry and have been known to melt down, freak out, lose my temper etc…. I have two key questions that I ask myself when I feel the internal heat of my frustration developing: 1) A week from now, how important is this going to seem 2) Am I going to end up needing to apologize for what I’m about to say/do? 🙂 Then I try to immediately ask God for the fortitude to align my words and actions with the way He would have me speak and behave. It’s hard and sometimes I fail….but I’m definitely making progress!
In the midst of chaos… I take a deep breath and say a quiet prayer for guidance. I lean on my husband or friends, usually through a few minutes of venting, and then look to a solution.
I’ve learned after many years of blowing it that I have to get alone with God when I feel my temper rising or the chaos closing in. If I don’t I usually end up apologizing to my kids for blowing it!!
Eating healthy & avoiding sugar during high stress times (it tends to make self-control harder).
I take a deep breath and ask God for strength! Listening to worship music and reading the Bible help with perspective 🙂
I try to remove myself from the chaos and pray, pray and pray some more!!!
I sing the song I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me and Nothing is impossible!
I put on Christian music. Unless we are doing schoolwork its normally on during the day. Even if I am not fully listening to it, having it playing still helps keep my spirit calm.
I try to find the good amongst it all. Even amidst the chaos there is always a glimpse of something good.
Today I’ve changed my clothes & my daughters close 2 times each after she spit up on us. I finally gave up on the errand I had to run & had a good cry. Now she’s sleeping peacefully. I was quickly reminded of the 4 years I begged God for a baby and the 4 heartbreaking miscarriages I had before her. Even in the times that I come unglued I’m so very thankful for that precious little miracle He gave us! Even when she throws up all over me & her!
I am reading a chapter from Proverbs every morning before my three boys are up. Today’s chapter was Proverbs 4 where it says that wisdom “heaps grace on your head”. That’s been my thought for the day in the midst of the chaos! Asking God for wisdom in parenting my three little boys and feeling His grace pouring over my (unwashed ;)) head! We all have days where showers don’t come til daddy is home from work, or there are 6 loads of clean laundry waiting to be folded and it gets us to the brink of unglued-ness! But remembering his grace covering me is my sanctuary.
Your know, I try so many things when I am overwhelmed instead of trying Him. But, I am getting better at giving it to The Lord. This is my first year homeschooling so I have been in my knees. By His grace…it will all work out.
Recite scripture (outloud if I can, if not I just say it to myself!)
I struggle with coming “unglued” at the place I work. I could use this package
This has been an ongoing prayer of mine, to be able to stay calm in the midst of a storm! God, continues to work through me and in me, to handle things better than I used to. Coming from a family with an Italian, short tempered, father, didn’t give me a very good example of how to NOT come unglued. I have, at times, reacted to my family, or friends, in a way that I am not proud of. One of my prayers, every day, is to handle all situations and people, the way Jesus would. I want to be His light, hands, and feet in this world. The Lord, has definitely heard my cries and has made me better today, than yesterday. I still have my moments, but I forgive myself (sometimes a hard thing to do), knowing that He is still working in me. I have heard so much about your book! I just saw you at a WOF simulcast event through my church and I plan to buy your book, for one of my summer reads, if not chosen for the giveaway :0)
Two things I’ve been putting into practice recently…In the quick heated moments I try to take a deep breath and ask God for a little help 😉 If/when I “lose it” I repent immediately, especially when it involves my kids. When something is stewing in my mind over minutes or hours, I remind myself not to park on the negative thoughts. I try to look for something positive in it. Doesn’t always work but it is interesting to look at things from a different perspective and can be quite helpful.
I picture myself crawling into Abba’s lap where He holds me close and hugs me. looking up into His warm,caring eyes, I can even feel His heartbeat. I feel so safe and sooooooooooooooooooooooooo loved by Him that no matter what is happening in my life I feel at peace ….. and I feel calm. There is no better place than the lap of our loving, caring Father Who will handle anything and everything for us.
I try and stay calm when faced with hectic times in my life. Being a new mom I have to rely on God to help with the stress of everyday life. I love to exercise and that helps keep me sane. Would love to read these book to help with my “unglued” moments.
How to stay calm is very difficult when being pulled in a million directions, i tend to try to go through thing one at a time, sometimes this helps but others a simple prayer, breath of life in! However the best of me gets taken over and i become unglued and have to remind, myself in the battles how precious and wonderful these children are, a remarkable gift from God! He has intrusted them to me and belives in me to do what is right by His kids so I can keep pressing on!
I cry. And then I pray. I give it all to my Father and leave it in His Hands. And then I thank Him. Through the hardest times when I have learned to thank Him, even though I want to shout at Him, I have found my greatest peace. This is all very recent for me though because I used to just cry. A lot. And very helpless and vulnerable. Thank you Lysa for letting His light shine so brightly through you and encouraging so many others!
I remind myself that God has GREAT PLANS for me if I stay steadfast in his instruction and words. This helps me to pull my unglued self together. I also try to apologize to my husband or children if I owe them an apology. For example, “I am sorry I reacted like a crazy lady, nobody deserves to be yelled at. I feel I reacted this way because ______ made me feel ________.”
Now, if I could just find a way to halt the unglued moments BEFORE they happen! 😉 God, grant us wisdom!
I haven’t always done so well. Probably less than even that statement might imply. But I’m learning and trying to take steps in the right direction each and every day. One thing that I’ve learned is that it won’t happen all in a day. When I get impatient with myself, it just adds to everyone’s frustration level. Most important I’m learning to tell myself that God holds me responsible for what I say and do…not what others might say or do. That is very freeing for moms who feel as if every mistake or rude comment their children make is a direct reflection on them as a mother. We often worry more about what others think than about what God thinks. As I learn to let go, I am remarkably calmer and more aware of my own words and actions. I have a long way to go but I’m trying.
Other than breathe deeply and cry out to God for patience — I typically sit back and watch my kids (at whatever they are doing — playing, watching tv, running around outside, etc.). I tend to look at things differently when I watch their little bodies playing and enjoying life. One of the simple things that reminds me how blessed I am. 🙂
I turn on praise and worship music and praise God for being able to be home with my kiddos full time, even though I may come unglued He blessed me with staying at home and I truly love it!
I desperately need this book! Planning to finish Unglued soon (returned it unfinished to library) so I need my own copy and would love this to go with it. Thank you for the chance!
See I react too quick! Forgot to say what I do to be calm in the midst of chaos…. Um prayer and often I fail to remain calm (thinking parenting). So after the fact I ask for forgiveness.
I try to switch gears when things are going chaotic. So if we are doing an activity in the living room happily say ‘oh I know lets go dance in the bedroom’.
Having an autistic 4 year old son, a 14 month old son and a 6 year old daughter – I tend to come unglued pretty regularly. I try to focus on how much I love my kids and would rather be home with them (stay-at-home-mom) than away. Hubby helps out a lot.
If its really chaotic I have gone to my knees right on the kitchen floor in prayer. If it is just a little chaotic with life with a young 4 year old I remember how fast time goes and to try to cherish even the trying times. I just attended my oldest son’s basic training graduation for the Army. Reminded me to embrace each moment even those that are chaotic. . . and to rely on CHrist as my strength!
Making time for myself…..in the word and move/stretch and or pampering my body……Being wise in what i eat…….
With 3 kids under 5 I am constantly muttering to myself and God “please give me patience!”. Somehow that simple sentence helps me get through the minute, the hour, the day and oh so long week.
Thank you for these words – guilt is so draining 🙁
When I fail I express my sorrow to God through prayer and then tell my children I’m sorry as well. As you said, we hope to learn from our mistakes.
LOTS of prayer
I pray. Breathe and pray.
Remaining strong by keeping a quiet spirit……..focusing on the Lord instead of the chaos itself!
I try to remember that God entrusted ME with these precious, argumentative children. HE thinks I CAN handle anything they throw at me. That right there is calming!
Oh Lysa, you always touch my heart, thanks for sharing and doing the work God has called you to!
I turn on the praise music as loud as possible and sing, sing, sing!
I turn on worship music and give myself a time out fir a few minutes.
I pray and then keep telling myself I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. <3
Rest in Him!
Still making imperfect progress…slowly. Some days feel better than others. I am thankful though.
I stuff things and become emotionally unplugged so I don’t have to feel the pain and then I don’t have to deal with it. Would live to win this giveaway.
I just try to stay in prayer and meditate on certain Scripture during the day. I just discovered you a few weeks ago and I am on a journey to lose 75 lbs (I have lost 12 so far in the past month). My Chiropractor hands out your devotional book and that is how I got my hands on it. I am SO thankful for your ministry.
I usually take a deep breath, and I pray a simple “Jesus, I need you. Help me in this hard moment!”
I haven’t read your book, but I have a feeling I quite need to! Trying to take it one day at a time… In His grace…
Lysa, I pray to stay calm. That is the only fastest best thing that helps me. I can meditate and count to 10 sometimes 20. Thanks for sharing your gifts!
I’ve started ‘surrendering’ in the chaos. As in just stepping back and watching it unfold-rather than participating in the emotion. Not saying I’ve mastered this by any means; nor that I do this every time. God is working.
I start singing his praises. I love Klove music in the midst of my troubles!
I enjoyed reading unglued really made me realize a lot about myself I didn’t even know I was struggling with. I haven’t had a change to do the devotional so I’m hoping I get to do that soon.
I take deep breaths and remind myself….all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. I love the Lord!!
Thank you for your ministry….I take deep breathes and sometimes just lock myself in the bathroom for 2 min! A good cry always helps too!
When my 8-month-old seems to be inconsolable, I try to remember to not take it personally, and that sometimes babies cry even if I’ve attended all of her needs. Sometimes I also laugh, not to seem mean, but it’s better than breaking down in tears!
Coffee and Jesus–and sometimes calling a friend!
God is in control no matter what!!!!!
In moments of craziness with my kiddos I have started quoting scripture out loud that applies to that situation. And praying about that situation out loud. It helps me and it causes my kiddos to stop, pause for a moment, and look at me. I often wonder what is going through their minds at that moment. Their looks are priceless that is for sure!
This skill is still very much a work in progress. But when I do succeed, it is because I have looked at the situation from the point of view of the other person and not from a defensive, selfish point of view (which ALWAYS gets me in trouble!) These successful moments are straight from up above; what a gift the Holy Spirit is!
I have to stop, take a moment to gather myself and remind myself that God is in control and there’s nothing that I can do except turn it over to Him. He handles it perfectly and I only mess it up. There is no peace like when you let God take control of the situation.
I continuously repeat one of two things….Not my will but Yours be done or There is no condemnation for those in Jesus Christ. 🙂
Just breath! And only look at what’s directly in front of me – the WHOLE picture is just too overwhelming!
In the midst of chaos, I say the serenity prayer! It helps me when remember that control is an illusion.
I try to look at the situation from the other person’s perspective and love them like Jesus would.
I remember who I am in Christ and rely his strength! I read my favorite verses about who God is and how he’s in control and i often turn on praise music or turn on my sons Praise baby DVDs!
I have to pray and ask Jesus to help me not to become unglued and I am still making imperfect progress. That I need to stay calm and ask God what he wants me to do.
Alot of deep breaths…swimming and of course PRAYING , READING THE BIBLE
I remind myself of the saying “Let go, Let GOD”. I look at my beautiful children who are 6 months old and soon – to- be 5 years old and thank HIM for the many blessings He has given me in this life and ask Him for continued strength along this path. <3
Try to take a deep breathe and remind myself that God is totally in control and i surrender my will to him right then and there
When chaos strikes I try to focus on one thing I can deal with until I can gain a better perspective on the big picture.
I work at a homeless shelter for families…things get really crazy, but I stay calm by knowing this is where God has me and he will use me if I “be still and know He is God”. I pray all the time too!
Deep Breaths, reminding myself that God is in control.
I Pray, pray and pray some more! Stay in His Word and surround myself with godly people to encourage me. 🙂
I just try to take a deep breath and then I pray for wisdom and patience and calm. I also try to remember that God is in control of the situation, no matter what the outcome is.
I struggle less with keeping my cool now than I did years ago. God has done a pretty amazing transformative work in my life. When I gave over the pain, bitterness, and unforgiveness that I was holding onto, He also removed the anger, sharp tongue, and bad attitude in my heart. Now in those moments where life just ‘happens’ and I take a deep breath, whisper a prayer, and try to respond out of love rather than just react.
Breathe, pause, and pray.
yes!
Sometimes it’s just easier to keep my mouth shut… or I’ll go for a walk or go to the gym. Nothing spiritual about this but it keeps me from saying or doing something I shouldn’t.
Sometimes my temper gets the best of me and it is usually something small (the straw that broke the camel’s back – so to speak). I have been working on it for years. A tip my mom gave me was this, “If you know what’s at the core of it (lack of sleep, PMS, etc.), try to tell yourself that the person that you’re angry with is not the real problem.” If you can fix the core problem (lack of sleep by taking a nap) then do so, if not try to rationalize why you are so angry and what you can do to fix it/make it better. We all know that coming unglued doesn’t fix anything. ;o)
For me music is a big deal. I constantly listen to KLOVE or family life radio or the message on XM. It keeps me calm and in moments when things get heated and I feel like I am coming unglued, the lyrics of a song I have heard that day always come to my mind and it calms me and helps me put things I to perspective quickly. 🙂
Some prayer time with Jesus and a diet pepsi! That’s the best way to get in survival mode.
Lysa thanks up lifting me threw my bad moods . I realize god in control everything go three in my life . He is my heart rock sometimes wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t him telling me your going be all right . Am so blessed have him and you to help me threw my weak points when I get down and sad .
When I’m in the midst of chaos I pray or I turn pandora on phone to my favorite christian station & be in the midst with Jesus……& sometimes I escape to my room with a good book from Renee Swope, Lysa TerKeurst,, or Karen Kingsbury.
I pray and ask God to help me to be still as calms the storms. And he does.
In the midst of chaos, I first pray and then try to find the humor in the situation. Knowing that God is in control, and this moment is temporary helps me to find the lighter side of the situation.
How do I stay calm in the midst of chaos?
First, breathers are a biggie for me. Reflection on what God has made around me is evidence of His presence in my life (which restores my views), and last but certainly not least through communicating with God. Through prayer, praise, or some times I just talk to Him out loud. He is the only way I find peace.
I find calm and peace in nature, trees, birds, clouds, splashing creeks, sunrise, sunset, whatever. When I am feeling like unraveling, I look at something in nature and marvel at how God knit it all together. If He can create the amazing colors and creatures that surround me, He can handle anything and will help me through whatever comes.
I do my best to try to stay close to God and talk to Him about what I am going thru. He leta me know it will be ok. I just try to distance myself from the issue at that very moment so not to do anything irrational, and then go back to it after I’ve talked to Him & calmed down.
There is peace in the midst of every storm and His name is Jesus. I went through 10 years trying to save my marriage and my addict husband. Jesus was my ONLY refuge and my only peace. There were days when I didn’t want to get up and I didn’t want to face people but HIS Word always gave me the courage. There were days, months and even years when I wasn’t sure I would ever make it but He carried me through by the promises of His Word… one day sometimes even one moment at a time.
God is good. There is Peace in His Promises.
I have 4 kids under the age of 4. Chaos is like oxygen around here. If I don’t remain calm, I would certainly fall apart(and do regularly). The best piece of advice I hand out regularly is just ride with it. If someone spills red spaghetti sauce on the carpet, get the steam cleaner out. Its no big deal in comparison to eternity. My house is always a mess. Someone is always crying or throwing a tantrum. Its a beautiful loud place of worship and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
If I’m being completely honest I don’t stay calm in the midst of chaos very often and I wish there were less of those moments in my kids life of seeing their momma losing it. I’ve learned though through the years to take a few breaths and to ask God to take the lead. If I take the time to stop and focus it helps me to be more intentional and thoughtful about what comes out of my mouth next.
prayer is the key, but in the midst of chaos it’s so hard sometimes to remember to focus on prayer than on the conflict. Working on this everyday!
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus……..” That’s me in my unglued moments. I have to stop and just say that wonderful, freeing, powerful, chain breaking name over and over and over again. If the moment is extremely intense, like my 4 year old son having a screaming kicking my chair fit behind me while I’m driving, I turn up some Jesus Culture and ask God to let me hear the music above the chaos. It not perfect but it’s better than I’ve done in the past. I’m proud of my “imperfect progress”!!
Remember my focus…
Pray! Laughter or choosing to say words I don’t necessarily feel helps change my attitude (nice words and encouraging words) 🙂
I see him holding me & i understand that all things work together for my good – no matter the season He is my forever reason- even when im down i get my sister to pray with me- its good to have 1 person to pray with to keep Him in our focus
how do you stay calm in the midst of chaos…. By prayer.. I must admit I have yelled said really ugly things esp to the ones I love the most.. my children and husband when I am in the midst of chaos like getting ready for people to come over or even getting ready for church.. CRAZY right? I always feel bad and try to talk to my family about why I act the way I do but now its time for me to step up and be the Mom jesus is calling me to be.
It’s hard to stay calm in the midst of a struggle. I’ve been learning and God has been teaching me to take my eyes off my idols. When I get upset with something it’s because there us an idol that’s in my heart.. That is taking my focus off Jesus completed work on the cross. 🙂 (ie comfort, pride, acceptance of myself etc..) so now I pause and pray and ask God to replace my idol with the gospel show me how the gospel fits into this. And he always does!
Going into my bedroom, shutting the world out for a few minutes and breathing a quick prayer helps me stay peaceful.
I’m a stuffer. So in order to stay calm in the midst of chaos, I just shut down and leave the room.
In the midst of chaos, I close my eyes and whisper “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus”. It helps to calm my spirit so I can move forward peacefully. Sometimes I have to say it lots of times but I try not to stop until my spirit is peaceful. 🙂
Taking a break for a walk!! 🙂
I fail more than I succeed. But I use labor breathing and count. I try and remember they learn by more actions. If the chaos isn’t with my kids then I’m usually in control- not sure what that says about me
I take a deep Breath and whisper my prayers to God. That normal helps me remember to respond and not react.
Pray and reminding myself the “This too shall pass”.
It’s not always easy, and mine is only 11mo =) I have to always remember what is best for her and to be a positive role model. If she sees me panic or get angry than that is what I am teaching her. I of course pray all the time to help me be the best mommy I can be!
In the midst of chaos….Gods promises are the anchor to sanity!! His Word is powerful and the very breath of God…..gives perspective in chaos 🙂
I say a prayer for peace to help calm me!
A deep breath and a prayer.
Take a few deep breaths, pray, & remember how God has always guided me in EVERY situation/decision in the past. Just knowing God’s promises for my life reminds me that He is always here for me even when I have those “off” days. : )
I try to take a deep breath and pray but I don’t always do this.
I have so much to learn when it comes to having patience with my children or when feeling out of control but, a couple of years ago, my then preschool daughter saw me getting upset and she said, “Mama, I think you should sniff a flower and blow out a candle.” In the heat of the moment, I was like what in the world is this girlie talking about, then it hit me what she meant. It really does help. Out of the mouth of babes.
I have to get a few minutes of fresh air & quiet to pray, calm down & focus so I can get back on track.
I go for a run, while listening to Pandora Praise and Worship music. Running and music help calm me and brings me peace, knowing that God is present in the midst of all of it and knowing He has me in the palm of His hand.
I cling to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Also, a quote from Chip Ingram, “Life is hard, but GOD IS GOOD…Life is unjust, but GOD IS SOVEREIGN.”
I have to remind myself to have clarity of mind to focus on God and I need to learn to rely on Him not me. Looking forward to reading book
In the midst of my chaos, I try (keyword here is try. lol) try to stop what im doing take a deep breath. Inhale Jesus, Exhale the chaos. In with the Holy Spirit, Out with the distraction.
It is my peace for the moment in the midst of chaos.
I am not sure that I do a very good job at this, lol. My husband usually has to help put everything in perspective and we pray together to help with the situation.
I try to stay calm by stopping and taking a breath, saying a prayer for wisdom, and then deal with the situation.
Prayer! I need to be looking up constantly.
I am teaching your series right now in a ladies life group at my church. So along with many prayers and deep breaths, my motivation is remembering that I also need to be a good example for the ladies that I am leading so that I can give them advice and wisdom and be following it myself! So ~ I try to remember during those moments the advice that I give to them! 🙂
I PRAY!
This happens often w/ 3 kids ages 14, 12 & 9, as well as an active dog & her 5 puppies, living on a small farm, etc. Music is one way God speaks to my heart, & sometimes I just need to go outside or leave the room to offer up a little prayer for wisdom & strength. Taking deep breaths helps too, & sometimes just saying to my kiddos that I need a minute of peace is helpful.
I am a wife, mother, and full time nursing student. Two of my children have medical conditions that require constant monitoring and doctors appointments. I fine to keep from coming Unglued I need to spend more time in the word and relaxing with my family being grateful for all that God has given us. My oldest son just left the hospital last Thursday for mental health issues and suicidal ideation, he is only 9. Turning to God is what got me through and what will ultimately help my son through his battle with Satan.
If I am truly honest I would say that I fail so many times in the midst of chaos! I know that I know that my GOD can handle anything – and so much better than I can! But when those storms come and those trials & you just keep getting knocked down – you wonder how long Lord? But then I am reminded it is when I turn it ALL over to HIM that the answer comes – and then I wonder – “Why did I worry so much about that?”
It is just our human nature I guess – but I am striving each day to let CHRIST envelope me & lead me in all I do –
Would love to win this book! I need it I believe for my devotional!
THanks –
Debbie
I’ve been working on pausing before I react and it’s helping me.
In the midst of chaos I close my eyes. Seriously… I close my eyes right where I’m standing and don’t open them or listen to anyone until I feel I can be calm.
It helps.
Each night me, my husband and my two boys (3&7} have family prayer time where we all holds hands and each say a prayer. We may day starts getting crazy and my boys (Captain Destructo & Hurricane Harry) start lovingly living up to their nicknames, I remember that prayer time from the night before and I picture their sweet little voices thanking and praising God. It is in that moment I remember this craziness is temporary and I do not, in fact, need to call our preacher for an exorcism. God loves my boys and my crazy family, so that is good enough for me.
Remind myself that God is still and always in control & say a quick prayer for guidance through it!
I stay calm in the midst of chaos by prayer, studying in God’s word but also with the support of friends who pray with me as well, or take time to listen. It often helps to journal and write a prayer to God as well!
If I can remember in the moment, I say a quick breath prayer – “Lord, be with me now.”
The one thing that keeps me grounded and forces me to release stress and let go is to PRAY….Jeremiah 29:11 is also a great reminder for me: for I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord…..
Singing or listening to praise songs is the only thing that calms me – sometimes it’s like setting my prayers to music.
As a mommy and wife and business owner every minute is an unglued day 🙂 depending on God to get me thru 🙂
Pray…pray…and pray some more! Then try to take a moment to calm down and try to retart!
I like to go into my room and get in bed and just close my eyes for a few minutes.
Jesus, naps, pinot noir. The end.
Find myself a quiet place away from the chaos, and remind myself that really my chaos of girls is a blessing!
I’m not going to lie, I get very anxious! But then I think about and dwell on Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6, 7 NLT). When I first saw this verse, it pretty much screamed at me because I realized with anxiety and wanting everything just so, I wasn’t ALLOWING God to do what He wanted. I was trying to control everything and how my children acted then I realized I’m just making worse! Lol! But every time I feel myself get anxious and feel some anger I stop and start praying. I’ve yelled at my kids and can’t stand it. I’m still a work in progress. I will never be perfect but I know God is helping and blessing us. The more I pray, the closer I want to be. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy; he knows our weaknesses as well, but our God is bigger! We have to have the courage to have faith in Him, in His ways, and in His timing.
Just finished Unglued with our neighborhood study group. Hoping to share with my church this summer.
Focusing on my breathing helps when I start to feel stressed. Then I ask God for help. Taking a break and having a cup of coffee or tea is helpful too.
“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” Philippians 1:27a
Within the last few weeks (after reading a Devotional from Proverbs 31 ministries) when situations arise i quote Philippians 1:27a. I love this verse, it is the perfect reminder to act like Jesus.
I heard a pastor once in a sermon say that little quick prayers when you need them, like little arrows shot in the air to heaven sometimes help us. I have never forgotten that. It was about 5 years ago now and I still remember and use it. So, in my midst of chaos, I shoot a quick prayer arrow up to God to let Him know I haven’t time to sit down someplace and have along prayerful conversation, but I need Him to help me through the moments of chaos I am facing, calamity I am in, or black cloud that is over me. He always seems to receive and hear those quick prayer arrows too! Praise Him!
In the midst of chaos, I cry out His name~Jesus~ sometimes that is all I got! {and that is more than enough!}
In the midst of chaos, I always remind myself that God turns all things that seem bad around into good. I remind myself that God is in control. I remind myself not to try to control the situation, but instead, to draw closer to God. God bless! <3
i would love to win this! I and another mom are leading a group of women and would love to have this a prize at our meetings.
anyways- I like megan: “when i can remember” say a quick prayer to help me refocus!
I have noticed that often recently i have found myself stopping to think if my words are positive or a hinderance (SP)! and boy that puts a spin on what i am saying or thinking about saying!
I stop take a step back and refocus on God. Think about how he wants me to respond.
the moments when I choose to stay sane instead of give in to insanity are the moments I set my mind on scripture and my focus on Jesus. Now if only I would swap my 90/10 track record so that the insanity would comprise less and less and the sanity and good focus would occupy more of the available space!!!
Balance is key. And like our new series guardrails help a lot with that.
When I find myself in one of these moments, it is helpful to reframe my expectations. For example: Did I really expect my 5 year old to have the discipline to put down the video game and put his own clothes on by himself? God is always faithful to remind me that the burden is on me and not my children in these types of situations. 🙂
Sometimes, when life as a SAHM with a 2 year old gets hectic, (such as almost everyday), I have to take a step back, breathe deep and ask God for help. I cannot always control my actions or words on my own, but He can send the Holy Spirit to help me. He has saved me over and over again… In so many ways 🙂
In the midst of chaos, I first TRY to stop, breathe, and then remind myself what I want my children to remember about me and their childhood.
I am finding sanity in allowing myself quiet time even if its not quiet around me. Making that time with God be anywhere. It was a gift God gave me one day when I was look a quiet place at church but it was a church-wide cleaning day. Chuckle. And I found it ok to be quiet in the chaos. I also really appreciated the webcast you did a couple weeks ago!!! I have been trying to sift life through a different filter that equals peace and balance. Thank you for that webcast!!!
I don’t! I still come Unglued. I still fail. I still fail in the midst of chaos sometimes. The true question is how do I repent from my failures? I don’t do that either I hand them to God and let Him help me to see my wrongs AND (very difficult sometimes) learn from them. Chocolate and coffee help a ton for short term fixes too 🙂
deep breathing & prayer
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…
When it’s my own chaos, I’m not always very graceful, and I do fail at times. But, when it is the chaos that others are experiencing, calm is brought about when I bring people together — my husband calls me a connector, a people broker. I listen to those in the midst of chaos, heartache and need and then I match up those in need with the right people who can make a difference in their situation. Focusing on others is the best thing I do.
Breathe and pray.
Prayer & Knowing God has it all.
During those unglued moments, I find that it’s best to just walk away for a few minutes!!!
Deep breath and prayer before I let any words out of my mouth
I try to always remember that their are people that have it way worse than I do! This helps me keep things in perspective. Then, I try to pray and believe that God’s got it and I can let it go, knowing that the way he handles things is ALWAYS better than any idea I could come up with. We are all works in progress, and different personalities, by nature, react differently anyway, so it’s a matter of remembering to continue to let God teach us, no matter how old we are!!
I breathe:
Be still.
And know.
That I am.
God.
I close my eyes and ask god to help me thru it and leave it all in his hands!
I try to take a couple of deep breathes while praying “Jesus, please calm me and let loving words come out of my mouth” … of course, the key word here is “try”
Along with lots if praying, our family has found having some Christian music going allows us to focus and remain calm. 🙂
Calm? What is calm?!?
I am such an UNGLUED person….the slightest little thing can make me ‘blow my lid’, especially at this point my stormy life. My kids are my world. I have a husband I can’t rely on and parents that are currently out of the picture. I know it’s only with God that I can get through this storm. He has given me soooo much strength and peace beyond anything I can comprehend. I’m so blessed to know that my savior is by my side. He is what helps me to stay focus and thankful for another day to get it right.
I’m not a Mom yet but hope to become one soon..right now I’m the midst of preparing for my final test in college..sort of a do or die, pass or don’t graduate situation and all I can do is remember to take it one day at a time, work my absolute hardest and stay focused. I’ve asked a lot of friends for prayer to help absorb the material and I know He’s helping me along the way!
In the midst of chaos I pray and try to remove myself from the situation whenever possible. Extreme exercise is my chaos reducer! I could really use this tool package with children ages 22, 20, & 17! The degree of chaos is much tougher than when they were 6,4, & 1 especially as my health deteroriates! 1 endured 5 hospital stays in 2012! I want to keep them on God’s path instead of giving in or up because of being “sick and tired!” 🙂
Pray and get counsel from my pastor.
I call out His name. I love the song “Whisper His Name” by Deluge. It is such a great message… Whisper His name…JESUS… and He will come to you…. Call out His name… JESUS… and He will come to you… Shout out His name… JESUS… and He will RUN to you! Just love the words of this song and it is so true! He does hear us when we call out to Him! What an amazing gift! Thank you for your ministry & your books… I cherish each of them I have read!
I can honestly say, it is not easy for me to stay calm. I have 3 children, 2 of which are teenagers, I am a full time college student and I operate a business out of our home. So I know a lot about chaos….lol One thing I am working on is something I learned at a women’s conference where you and the beautiful “Gutsy girl” spoke. She gave some great advise that I try to use, recite “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It is true, it is through Christ our strength comes. Just give it to God. A little thing we say at our church “God’s got this”!
I will try to get by myself and turn on some praise and worship music. Music speaks to my soul and I turn it up really loud and sing my heart out! (Not very well mind you. Lol)
I’m being completely honest when I say that I’m not doing very well with not coming “Unglued.” That’s why I need to win this giveaway.
Find something for which to be thankful. I learned this from Ann Voskamp.
I tend to be a very calm person on the inside and find it pretty easy to stay calm in most situations, at least on the outside. I know once something happens, I cannot change it, we just have to deal with it and make the best of the situation, and know that God has a plan, and He is in control.
I stop and pray.
Staying in control is a constant work in progress for me! I remind myself on a daily basis that I have a great support system that loves me no matter what and that God is in control no matter the situation!
prayer & Psalms are my ‘go-to’
take a deep breath and cry out to God for help!!
I’m a work in progress! I try to remember to take a breath and focus on seeking out love rather than justice/proving a point/being right. And pray!
Stop, breathe, remember I am a child of God parenting a child of God.
The times I am able to stay calm are the days when I’ve spent time with God praying and listening to worship music. It’s only by His strength. I also know that my children are more willing to listen if I am calm. I am working of being slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen. God has shown me that they want to be heard just as much as I do.
My group of four very close girlfriends just finished reading Unglued together. We had an amazing journey as we uncovered some raw truths during this time. After that, we are all learning to leaning on God first and each other second when we are about to come unglued!
I struggle with coming unglued with my 3 little kids. I usually take a deep breathe and sometimes have to leave the room. music helps my kids calm down at times!
1. Breathe.
2. Pray.
3. Make a plan. Or just start whatever, one step at a time.
Pray. When I really feel like I am going to loose it and I remember myself before I do, I pray. Lord, please guide me, please help me, please show me what to do.
I’m a stuffer.
Prayer works. God is always in control….
I take a deep breath in and ask God to Help a girl out! God always causes us to triumph 🙂
I try to remain silent (it’s my right! Haha) until I can process the situation or circumstance. I wisper a prayer and ask for wisdom. And sometimes I totally mess up, say things that make it worse and then repent.
This is another one of those particular situations that only the Lord has all the answers for. One foot in front of the other. Young son 15 going on 30…..go figure!
count my blessings and remember God has never failed me yet
A yummy caramel latte always works wonders especially when you add a peaceful walk by our little downtown riverfront.
I am the mom of 5 ranging in age from 19 to 3. I always think that God must have a great sense of humour as my fifth is quite the handful. However, they are all sweet and I have great kids but some days are pretty challenging. We have beautiful forest trails near our home and I will grab my ipod and go for a nice, long walk and listen to praise music. When I’m having a hard time, I will send a quick prayer of praise, thanking God for one of the more desirable qualities that particular child has on better days!!
in the mist of a storm or stress i always always pray for God to make me strong and for his protection and to guide my tongue.
Thank you for sharing. I am a mom of 3 boys and I struggle with patience a lot. It is a on going battle that I am determined to win. In the middle of chaos I have learned to take a deep breath and then I pray, I pray for patience and the tools to handle the chaos.
Praying!
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 &
“My times are in your hand” Psalm 31:15
I just had some of “those moments” while eating with our in laws last night. A 3 and 4 year old, who had not had their naps, but were very excited to see Mimi and Papa and thought they could get away with more led to a stressed and burnt out momma. The Lord reminds me though in “those moments” that this is the season of life He has called me too right now. Raising two little ones to live for the Lord in today’s world is not an easy task, but I have to give that to Him, rely on Him and focus on two precious little people that yearn to learn how to go about life and for me to remember to teach them how through The Lord.
Going thru your Unglued bible study had made me realize that God is in control. No matter how much I want something to happen – God’s plan may be different. Learning to put my trust in Him is helping me get through my Unglued moments and I’m finding them to be less frequent!
In the midst of chaos, I pray and review God’s promises. I also blare some worship music to refocus myself on who God is instead of focusing on my circumstances. 🙂
Knowing that I have a loving Father I can go to makes all the difference
I try to take a deep breathe and ask myself how would God want me to respond to this situation.
I ask God daily for wisdom. I do not want my mouth to come Unglued ~ words can be so hurtful ~ once said they cannot be taken back. I also ask God to fill me with more of His love so that I have more of His love to share. Asking for these things on a daily basis prepares me in advance for “Unglued Moments”
I agree with others that say it’s a work in progress .. but mostly it’s a deep breath, and focusing on what’s most important while letting the “chaf” blow away..
I would like to be the one to answer in a fine mature christian way but I cant. Sometimes I have a tantrum and pout and when I get my self centerness done. I PRAY!!!! Try to remind myself I have to let go and let God.
I’m usually more calm when I’m well rested, much more temptation to lose it when I’m tired. A nap helps also lots and lots of perspective and truths poured into my heart and mind will help me remind me of what is important in the hard moments of mothering.
No words of wisdom here-still struggling and failing repeatedly
It is a process for me. A process of learning to take every thought captive and speak only truth over yourself and the situation. I am learning that if I speak truth (scriptures) to myself, God’s peace can and will fall over me. Suddenly the disaster is no longer disastrous. It has taken motherhood to teach me these disciplines.
This past year has been extremely difficult for me. I battle daily with Lupus and it’s unwelcomed accompanying ailments, started homeschooling our oldest son because of difficulties within his christian school, our youngest son is believed to suffer with dyslyexia and my mother has just been diagnosed with early onset dementia. I battle daily with whispers of self failure and defeat. Thankfully, I know to put on the full amour of God. Many times a day, I stop and take a pause to pray for little pieces of God’s strength and endurance.It is what gets me through each and every day.
I have yet to learn to keep calm during the chaos 🙁
Oh, how I wish that I could say that I keep it all together! I am learning, with each passing year, to trust the Lord more and more. Initially, I probably have a tendency to freak out but then I take a step back, pray, and slowly remember just WHO is in control. I am also very fortunate to be surrounded by an amazing group of friends/prayer warriors! When life begins to crumble, I KNOW that I can turn to God and then to them for the prayerful support I need!!
I take a few moments to break away, pray and collect myself.
I dont I try but fail or very little succeed.
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Too help me stay calm in the midst of chaos I will shoot a text to my friend who will always reply with a prayer and a Bible verse. It is comforting and calming to know that I am not alone in praying for the situation and the Scripture she sends helps me to refocus on God’s truth that is constant…regardless of what my “chaos” is.
Staying calm in the midst of chaos is a challenge for me but I become overwhelmed I try to remember what is really important. My God and my family are priority. Then I can take the steps toward the things that affect the priorities and the other things can wait.
I go back to my bedroom. Stop. Just breathe and pray over and over.
Pray and then I reevaluate what I’m involved in and say “No” to certain commitments.
I quote these 2 verses literally, everytime…Funny thing is, the first one I learned in childhood, and the second as an adult but they are the 2 that always come to mind…Psalm 56:3, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in you”, if we are upset, or frustrated, or anxious or scared, we really are just afraid deep down…and Psalm 61:2 “Lead me to the rock that is higher than I…we need to escape the problem, the reality, the confusion at that moment and be taken somewhere outside of ourselves, and true peace and sanity can only be found through HIM!!! 🙂
Go back to the bedroom (or a semi quiet place). Breathe and pray over and over.
In the midst of my treatment I was compelled to be in the word and listening to loving worship music to ease the difficulty physically mentally and emotionally. Now that I am out of treatment but intimately connected to 5 women dealing with advanced stage 4 disease all I can do is breathe and pray and some days that is too tough…
So sorry about multiple comments. Something isn’t working right!
Well, normally when I get flustered, I sit down in my perfectly clean living room & take a few deep breaths & time for myself as I gracefully recompose myself & watch my 9 month old daughter play quietly on the floor.
J u s t k i d d i n g .
After life’s drama, dirty laundry & my to-do list pile up, so do my emotions. If I need to sit down, I inevitably stub my toe on a toy on the way to the couch, where I have to push my dog aside to even make room for myself. I usually can’t hear myself think over the sweet screeches from my beautiful little one who has discovered she can control the volume level & pitch of her very own voice. I can catch my breath for about, oh, 45 seconds before I’m needed elsewhere again. And that’s on a very uneventful day. Being a first time mommy, I have come to the conclusion that I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This causes me to fall at the feet of the cross every single day & rely solely on Him. And I would have it no other way. It is not always easy, but it is necessary. He is my source of life & daily renewal. He is the only source for true contentment, peace & calm…even in chaos.
If Jesus can love me for the beautiful mess I am, then so can I. And I will continue to strive to be more like Him…even if I constantly have Cheerios in my hair, bags under my eyes & haven’t shaved my legs in 7…ok, 9 days. Thank you Father that you do not call us to be a perfect, just willing!
Oh yeah, sometimes I cry too. 😉
I say a quick prayer to ask for patience. Take a few deep breaths and calm myself.
Listening to praise music helps a lot in staying calm.
breathing long deep cleaning breaths. praying. being alone.
Spending quiet time with God and praying. Reminding myself He is always there to carry me through.
In the summer I sit on my patio in the quiet, listen to worship music and spend time alone with the Lord…He calms every storm…
I pray, pray, pray!!
If I am at work I flip thru my phone I have pics of my grandchildren, scripture, & words of inspiritation in my photos. If this is not possible i sing a hymn in my mind.
I love quiet time in the Word. It is an amazing escape especially with a cup of tea.
I think of how my mother and father looked when they came unglued, which was often. I cling to my desparate prayer to the Lord that I don’t want to be like them.
Step away and look to heaven. Take a few breaths.
Chaos is an inevitable black hole we all find ourselvea spinning in from time to time. I try to stay calm in these times by focusing on what matters eternally. Does this circumstance have eternal value? Is this truly worth me getting stressed over? I find that most things have no eternal value, therefore I let it just happen and dissolve as it will without a negative reaction from me.
I go into the bathroom, lock the door, take a deep breath and pray for a do-over!
I pray and remind myself that God is in control. My anxiety is showing a lack of faith and I commit to honoring God by having the faith to trust that it will always be okay.
Prayer. Music always helps me. Just focus on doing the right things.
I take comfort in the promise that I do not walk alone and hand my worry, fears, and stress to God over and over and over again.
Singing helps me and my little one stay calm!
I close my eyes and pray that The Lord help me through.
Take a deep breath while praying. I try to remove myself from a situation for a time, if possible.
What’s the signs with the little crown at the top..?
Stay Calm and
Read “Unglued” 🙂
Honestly, Prayer is the key to my calm and comfort.
I keep my sanity by utilizing “helpers”. I use apps to keep on top of activities and travel plans and family whenever they can lend a helping hand.
I start with my day with encouraging blogs/e-mails/FB posts like yours that encourage me and help me feel like I’m not alone. Deep breaths, prayer and day filled with worship music are also the remedy for my chaos moments.
There have been times when I have had to cover my mouth with my hands to keep from saying something. With my son, I have to give myself a time out and pray.
I don’t do it enough . . . but separate myself from the chaos, close my eyes & pray.
Walk away and get alone! Pray, Pray, Pray!
After reading “Unglued” and “Becoming more than just a good Bible Study Girl” in our weekly grow group has made it easier to recognize my feelings when I’m about to blow up! Reminding myself that this will pass and taking a deep breath before speaking seems to help! Keeping in constant study with a group of like minded women in our church has kept me on track.
I have to bite my tongue alot and pray hard! Listening to praise music and being alone for awhile helps!
If my reaction one way or another is going to make a difference, I make myself stop, do nothing,and think about God in the moment. Childrens’ feelings are so tender, and words spoken cannot be taken back. This forcing myself to stop & think does the trick and helps me get the right perspective back!
The way I stay calm most of the time is telling myself that “this too shall pass”. And that God can redeem all things back to Himself, even the mess we sometimes get ourselves into. Nothing is beyond His reach.
Bedtimes and mornings seem to be the bigger struggles. When I’m having a hard time putting my daughter (3) to bed or helping her to get ready in the morning and it’s not going well, I stop in the midst of anger and we embrace for just a few seconds and it seems to put us both back on track.
With having an almost 10 month old little girl we do not have many moments that I come unglued. However when I do I thank God for blessing me with this precious little girl. She was well worth the wait of dealing with infertility, and captured our hearts completely.
I attempt to stay calm when overwhelmed with my kiddos by taking 5 mins to lay on my bed with my eyes closed taking some deep breaths! That, and decluttering!
Prayer!!!
Sometimes I just say Jesus’ name over and over!
I take a Mommy time-out!! Sometimes that works better than giving my littlest one!
Mentally list my blessings!
Prayer and mediation on God’s promises through His Word.
I ask The Lord to help me remember His truth. I too often create my own truth…. Only His truth gets me through.
This may sound silly, but I literally pray to God to prepare my heart and then I randomly open the bible. His word brings me hope. Then I open a small treasure box I have on my night stand where I keep little and precious notes my kids have given me throughout the years. Those notes remind me that, no matter how bad my storm can be, the love of my family and the peace of my Lord are the anchor that support me and keep me grounded. =)
Pray, pray, pray. There us nothing better than speaking with God to keep you grounded.
Oh how I am learning. Knowing what makes me come unglued and loose control has helped. I have also started an action plan with the steps to help me not to come unglued, stay calm, and handle the situation the way God would want me to.
To be completely honest…. Sometimes I just melt down. Lately I’m at the end of my rope and I feel that Jesus is okay with my honest meltdown. I’m reminded that in my weakness, I am made strong in Him. I try to have those moments in private, bit my two certainly know that although I try, I’m not perfect. They see me turn to God and hopefully I can at least show them how to put their trust in Him.
I try to not explode. I would like not to pass that on from my family, and I ask God to help me with that.
As a teacher of an incredibly difficult class I find myself hugging the kids even more than I would normally. It’s in the moments when I feel like I will lose it when I reach out with a hug the reality of God’s love and grace seep into my being. I pray (quite often) for God to let me be an instrument of His peace and show these kids His loving grace and mercy. With God’s strength we will all make it through the next 13 days of school all in one piece.
I take a few minutes to pray and and take a few deep breaths.
I am just learning how to handle chaos without coming ‘unglued’…. I try to take a deep breath say a prayer, and walk away if necessary. 🙂
Would love to win this book, can’t wait to read it either way.
I am both, but I realize that many times when I explode, it’s probably because I tried to stuff. I have been a wife for 24 years and a mother for about that same amount. I have learned a lot about what sets me off. My insecurities as a mother, daughter, wife, friend and even God’s child can feed my soul with negativity. Knowing who I am in Christ, slowing down, allowing clear thinking to break through can really change the way I see everything and then the way I react.
I take a few deep breaths, say a prayer and meditate on one of God’s promises.
Since I have read “Unglued,” I have a picture I took with my iPhone on my wallpaper of my phone of the four words REMEMBER. WHO. YOU. ARE. I also wrote in lipstick on the mirror in my bathroom, “imperfect progress.” When I wake up, first thing I am reminded of is I am clothed in grace from God and the only way to receive grace, is by extending grace.
Usually I try to take time away from the situation, pray ect. But more often than not I struggle with how to cope and react correctly in difficult situations in life especially with my children. I want so desperately to be a positive Godly influence and example to my children but lack the know how. That is why I would love to have this book. Because I so badly need and desire guidance in my role as a Christian mother.
I always stay calm, it gets you absolutely nowhere to get worked up and stressed out. I always know that God has got it
Every morning I wake up early and sit by myself in the quite of my house with my coffee and begin praying for my family. It is so nice to sit and be still in the midst of chaos. It puts me in a better mood and when I start my day off right then I tend to not come unglued.
I count backwards from 10-1
When it is convenient I brew a pot of coffee and find a comfortable place to sit where it is quiet and peaceful. I pray. I ask God what I need to learn from all that is transpiring around me. I read my Bible or simply meditate on scriptures that are already written on my heart. And finally, I try to have a proper perspective realizing that “this too shall pass.” It’s always nice to read a book by Lysa to gain more perspective as well.
I tap my heels together and pretend I am somewhere else!!! 🙂
I keep on pressing on. I figure if you don’t stop in the mist of it..it will not consume you and when you are out of the chaos it seems like you have achieved something.
I usually try to remove myself from the situation and pray quietly. If I can not leave the situation, I will pray/talk to the Lord, in my head.
Deep breathing doesn’t hurt either 🙂
Well I sadly fail at this more often than I succeed! But actually, having a toddler the past year or so has really allowed me to become better at this (because most of these chaos moments occur in front of/because of him, and I don’t want him to learn from my poor and regrettable reactions, to then mold him in a way I don’t want for him). I just remind myself that the things that cause me chaos, don’t really matter in the grand scheme of it all. Years from now, I won’t remember or care how dirty my house was. It will be spotless because I have all the time in the world to keep it clean, but no child at home to help raise up anymore as a trade-off. Perspective!
Ahhhhh yes….PERSPECTIVE
That too is what I try to keep. When my son Is .literally running around the house getting the rest of his siblings all wired up, and when the noise level shatters my nerves I try to remember that other kids are being entertained by electronics,,,something we’ve decided not to introduce at this point to our kids. One day we will miss the noise, the chatter, the screams, and even the quarreling. I thank God my kids are healthy and I try to take deep breaths and call Jesus name over and over.
I am a work in progress for sure! I’m so thankful for God’s mercy and grace and for having Him to turn to when I feel like coming unglued.
Wow you are so inspiring and encouraging! I would love to win!
I keep a small “moleskine” notebook handy that has my favorite bible verses. I read them over and over again as I pray and meditate on them this helps me so much in times of chaos . Some other times, I like to just take a 5 minutes break and go outside breath some clean,fresh air.
In those moments when you feel your frustrations mounting, that burning sensation inside. That only seems to go away when you scream or yell. I have learned to talk calmly or find the smallest thing to bring you joy in the situation abd zeri in on it until the calm comes.
It reminds me somewhat of the scripture in Philippians 3 Straining toward what is ahead and pressing on toward the goal to win..I think that chaos is a part of life and it happens in certain seasons of your life for different reasons..I think if u continue to press on..it’s almost like you have accomplished it after it is all over and you can find some satisfaction in it
I try to pray about it as much as possible. I find that when I am praying, my life goes much smoother. When I am not I come unglued more and more. There are days when I don’t think I can make it. I have one 2 year old that is so sweet and such a pivotal point in his life. He soaks everything in. It sometimes becomes hard with the 7 year old, it makes such an impact on them both when mom is not in control and I am trying to stay focused on that. I realize that I could never be an effective mom without God in my life.
I take a step back, take a deep breath as I give it all over to our dear heavenly Father.
Walk away, it takes 2 to fight
I always have an audience..20 students or my own two girls…so I am very aware of how I handle things. I can tell you it’s not always pretty and that’s when I model how to apologize and ask forgiveness:-)
I have a list of things that bless me and I recite those to myself to remind me all God has done and that blowing it in the moment is not worth it.
Thank you so much Lysa for all that you do for us God’s girls!
I TRY to remember to pray/talk to the Lord in the midst of chaos etc…things like please fill me with the fruits of the spirit Lord (and I name them one by one), please help me to forgive like you forgive Lord, please be merciful to me Lord God a sinner, please help me to love like you love Lord…but of course, we are all works in progress, so sometimes I forget to pray-and get irritable!
It feels completely disgusting, but I have a child that is extremely challenging and I’ve said ugly things to him during difficult conflicts. One way I’ve used to take a moment to refocus my heart and control my tongue is to take his face in my hands, look him in the eyes, and tell him I love him. It reminds us both that, despite whatever has happened and whatever the consequence will be, above all, I do love him and I will act in love. Sometimes I need to say it a few times before I am able to move forward.
Listen and sing to songs that worship The Lord, which helps me refocus on what I important.
Spending time with the Lord every day strengthens me for when those stressful times come. Irritability still comes, but I find it pops its ugly head up less when I’ve spent regular time with Him.
I stay calm by remembering all my life’s blessings and remembering where I was , where I am and where I want to be going, I take a deep breath and keep pushing onward!
I find that if I can have 15-20 minutes of quiet time in my bible each day I tend to hold my temper better. While I can’t always do it in the morning if I can just put the timer on and tell the kids to give me a few moments of space all usually works itself out.
Staying calm in chaos means slowing down and thinking through, step by step, what needs be done, knowing that I can address all of the things flying at me if I take the time to stop a moment to quickly plan my strategy and listen to all those little voices needing me to hear them, assuring them that I will attend to each in a moment.
I step back and pray.
Pray!
You will keep in perfect peace him (or her!) whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3 ~ I try to focus on our Heavenly Father and His wonderful promises at all times.
Lately we’ve been heartbroken about some choices family members are making. One day I spent most of the day crying out to God, asking, “Why haven’t our prayers been answered?” That night I slept very little and finally decided to get out of bed and read the Bible and devotional books till I receive a word of comfort or guidance. It was all good, but nothing stood out as an ah ha moment. Finally, I decided to follow advice I’d given following the death of a child…do the next thing. So, I washed clothes, cooked breakfast, exercised,… I then began to realize that God was helping me as I went on with life–He was not going to help me have a pity party!
I go to a quiet place (usually the bathroom) and just pray. I have been listening to Christian music a lot more throughout the day too and that helps me keep my mind in the right place.
Pray! Take deep breaths and close my eyes!
I have to remind myself that God’s love is unfailing. No matter the mess I can make of a situation, He still loves me and can help me through it.
I pray and recite verses to comfort. I get away for a few moments. I make a list of things I’m thankful for.
I recently started boxing, it’s a healthy way for me to get rid of some of the stresses in my life!
Well, sometimes when there’s utter chaos around me, I clear my mind and count to ten. Then I’ll pray for strength. Sometimes I do it out loud in front of my students! When I start praying, they KNOW I’m getting close to my breaking point! LOL
I make tea and sit on the porch. However, I still hear the kiddos not doing their school work. I am never sure it helps. I also do better when I read and run before they get their sleepy heads out of bed.
I have recently learned to always thank the person for sharing and ask what is a solution they would want. As always having those memorized verses and praying for them right then in the moment easier said than done but takes the focus off of yourself.
I was encouraging a friend with an experience I had about 10years ago. At that time I was happily homeschooling my third grader when my husband asked me to help him run a new business. My dad had a stroke the same week my husband and I signed the paper work. Daddy was moved to Charlotte so I could watch over him. Needless to say-young children, a new business and taking care of an elderly parent… I was overwhelmed. There were days upon days that I was not sure how I could get out of bed, much less make it through the day. I would start each morning with prayer and ask Him to give the step-by-step guidance. He was so faithful to provide loving friends to fill in the gap with Christian, my son. Our team at work was so compassionate and understanding when I had to leave abruptly to take care of my Dad. It wasnt until later that I realized those people were Jesus in action… and I learned what the scripture “MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS” (2Cor. 12:9). Today my “little boy” is almost 21 and my sweet Daddy went to be with Jesus five years ago, and our business is bustling. As life would have it, there are times when life is overwhelming and I am reminded that His grace is sufficient.
When I really need peace, I close my eyes and just whisper Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sometimes it might be 2 minutes and there are times when it is 5 or more. All I know is everything begins to quiet down, including me. I love that name. The name above all names, Jesus.
I keep your book at hand at all times bookmarked and tagged for easy access! In the off chance it’s not with me. I have written things that spoke to me in my phone
Sleep! Everything is worse when I’m sleep deprived. Also, singing hymns.
Taking moments throughout the day to pray and thank God will help you get through any day!
I remember God is in each situation I am experiencing and try to stay focused on what He wants me to learn or how He wants me to show His love through a trial.
Honestly, this is something I need to work on, so I can’t answer your question. I’m an exploder and I see how it effects my precious husband and two year old son. I’m about to have our second son and transition to being a stay at home mommy. So I know I need the wisdom in your book!
The only way I can make it through the day is by praying and leaning on my Father He truely loves me and forgives me. I have given my life to him with his love because he is love he is the only way to live! Thank you Father God for your love and power and strenght! Love you!!!!
I stop and take a few deep breaths, close my eyes and listen to some gospel music. It’s my “ME” time.
Pray! I keep telling myself that God is with me so I can handle it. It gets really tough sometimes. I would love to win your book, Unglued to share with my daughter. She has a 4 year old little girl & there is a lot of screaming going on most days. I think she could really benefit from your book & inspirations. I always love everything you have shared.
Thank you!
I am a single mother to four, ages 16, 14, 6 and 4. There are lots of moments that require a little something extra to help me through. First and foremost is prayer, I turn to God for guidance and patience. More often than not, just by placing it in His hands I feel better, relieved, not alone. Second thing I do is grab a cup of tea, tea is so calming and quite honestly, my unwind time is with a good book and a cup of green tea!!
I am trying to get there! I am learning to breathe in and out every day, make a concious effort to not come unglued, and remember that this is only for a season. My husband says one day I will look back at this messy house and miss the craziness………… I think i won’t!! 😉
Having been a “stuffer” most of my life (All in the name of being soooo patient & NICE…Let’s throw “holy” in there too..) I physically bottomed out. Ate right…Check,
Exercised…uh-Huh, But blood tests showed I was starving…malnourished. A few changes in my diet, a few tweaks in my lifestyle and well…I was not feeling this stuffing stuff any more. All of a sudden, I had an opinion, some thoughts, an idea…Let’s just say I “Perked up a bit” and became “not quite so popular”with those who preferred “EAsy Me”(Exploder in training???)What to do with all that tumbled around in my head? With the fight in my heart?
Proverbs…every day, One chapter a day. Different versions.
Time with sweet sisters in the Lord.
Quiet time with My Creator, who healed me.(Who knew…)
Lots of good books….Thank you, Townsend & Cloud (Going to the library with a prayer on your lips is ASTONISHING.)
What a God we serve….
I realised that if I want my children to grow up christ-like I had to role model and modify my own behaviour. I pray too. Prayer helps alot. XX
I think about HOW far I have come and I dont EVER want to go back to that place. I still have a ways to go, but thank the Almighty God that I am NOT where I used to be 🙂
Well, I have failed more than prospered in the coming unglued, but one thing besides just listening I encouraging Chrisian music that helps is to take a deep breath. Let it all sink in, think of the blessings in my life, and ask God to help me thru the storm with our teenage daughter. There are so many stages throughout children’s lives and his is just another…..it too shall pass. The Lord is good, a rwfuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him! Nahum 1:7
Unfortunately I’m still trying to figure out a solution that works for me 🙁
I fast-forward my thinking to the morning when I’m going to wake up and regret if I’ve given into any unglued behavior the day before. There’s something about a fresh morning that gives perspective of the issue not being as big as it felt.
I put myself in time out! Just to get out of the situation and reset
I desperately whisper in my heart, “Lord, help me.” and pray for calm.
I’m still working on that. But I am trying to be aware of the stressors in my life that cause me to feel unglued—-and work on them before I explode. I’m making imperfect progress.
Just reading this gem of a book. Just what I need and what my 13 year old needs, too. Thank you! Can definitely think of a few I could share it with. I pray … LOTS!
Well when I don’t come unglued its because I’ve set boundaries and maintained perspective. Philippians 4 is usually involved.
And I typed on my email address wrong the first time …
Deep breath, remove myself from the situation, & invite God smack dab into my chaotic emotions. His strength is always perfected in my weakness.
I step outside to spend time with my Father in his beautiful creation.
Most of my unglued moments come when I am with my children. I have learned to stop, and look into those sweet little eyes and make the impression I want to leave on them, instead of lying awake at night thinking about those little eyes looking at a crazy Mom.
Remind myself that this is only temporary and will soon pass. John the Baptist had his head cut off so how bad can my situation be!!
Breathe, pray, call my one friend that can always calm me down….
Or – more than likely- Have one brief spastic 10 second breakdown— THEN remember to Breathe, and pray….
I’m still working on it!!
Loved your talk at Catalyst Dallas! When I feel stressed, the best remedy is reading the Bible and then going out to spend time with my horses and dogs. It restores my soul.
When we had our boy/girl twins after 5 years of infertility I thought I would only feel blessed, grateful and blissful every day as I stayed home with these beautiful babies. It truly is everything I ever wanted. How shocked was I when I realized that stress and pressure would cause me to come unglued?? They are 13 months old and to deal with chaos I lean on the help of my dear husband, pray to my Savior and sometimes walk away for a break. Reality check! 🙂
In all honesty…..I don’t. I function through the furiousness and then burn out. Precisely why I would be so grateful to win this giveaway! Appreciative of all those sharing special verses and how they cope….so uplifting!
I remind myself to make one good choice, and when I fail, I remember that I will have imperfect progress, but progress none-the-less!
I have a hard time remembering but I try to pray and let God’s peace wash over me!
Definitely far from perfect but it helps to remind myself that staying calm is the only way the chaos will subside.
I need to be intentional to take time to pull away from everything, curl up with my Bible and journal and spend a good chunk of time filling my soul. Without it the crazy never ends.
I turn to music. I have had the opportunity for many of those moments lately and usually I sit down at our piano and begin to play the emotions away.
As a mother to 6 children and 1 step child I often times have to step away and take a time out. During those times I like to listen to my worship CD’s and pray. I get to spend my first night away from the kids this October for the Women of Faith. I am so excited to go!
Write; pour myself out into a journal. Read a Psalm, pray, be quiet and still; sit in the silence and write some more.
When it gets to be too much sometimes I pray. Then I exercise. I may walk, run, or do a workout, but I am filled with gratitude when I’m done.
I can only do it when I stop and breath. Unfortunately, I don’t do it enough.
Only by God’s sustaining grace can I withstand some of the disappointments of motherhood, those times when I feel like a real failure. I do try to not compare myself to other moms who seem to have it all together, realizing that we all are constantly learning, falling and with help from the Lord, getting back up again. God is so faithful and the picture perfect parent.
I take a few moments to take a deep breath and collect my thoughts before reacting. Take time to think first and pray before you speak your mind and regret it. God will guide you – just ask. Wish I had learned this when my kids were younger..
Recently I decided I should focus on the fruits of the spirit when overwhelmed. But with my three young kids it’s hard to get past Love is Patient, Love is Kind!
I pray and think..what does God say about this, and breathe…
Tonight I could just sense the stress level in our house was high. Both of my children have major tests at school this week and when I came in tonight things just seemed chaotic. So, I announced that aftet supper we would be going out for ice cream. After we ate we all loaded up together in the car and drove to our favorite ice cream place (which is usually reserved for special occasions)! It was great!
prayer is a calming thing, if I could just remember to do that first!
Surrounding myself with Scripture…verse cards, memorized verses, Scripture-based music. That is truly the only thing that can produce calm in me when chaos surrounds me!
God helps us through any situation. When I feel overwhelmed, Satan is doing his happy dance! I need to take a deep breath and call on the name of the Lord for patience and guidance….right then and there.
I try to find a sunny place to sit and be quiet. I also try to talk to a trusted, Godly friend or my sweet mom.
I am still learning how to find peace during the moments I feel like I am going to explode. I have found worship music a good way to distract myself. Doing OBS with “A Confident Heart” and “Stressed-Less Living” is giving me direction for Bible study. I am so looking forward to beginning Unglued as soon as possible to find alternatives and solutions to coming unglued!
Deep breaths and slow down……pray!
I actually start singing, “When I call on Jesus…. all things are possible!”
In moments that I cannot muster the strength to sing, I yell out to Him (or whisper depending on the moment….)
When I am agitated at someone, I sometimes (not as often as I should) try to remember how Jesus loves and cares for them. I then take a few breaths and attempt to show them Jesus’ love through me.
I hope I win the book. I need to pass that around my entire office! (small space, lots of women)
Picking my battles. Letting the kids yell sometimes and work out thier problems together. I don’t and can’t fix everything all the time.
Stay calm? whew….. wish I had the total key to that. Some days it feels like a time bomb ticking, and I pray ….a LOT. (and cry some… 🙂 I think the best thing I can do is drop everything and totally spend that time with one of my children. Even though “I have to do this first, then this.. then ….” ah… if I could just remember to drop everything and read that story or take a walk outside with them… I can usually catch a glimpse of the big picture then.
Pray scripture. Get lots of exercise to relieve stress. Stay rested, if possible.
Knowing that God is ultimately in control of everything in my life brings me peace through anything. When I worry all I do is get in His way. I just remember to be still and know He is God and seek his direction. My eldest son is leaving Mother’s Day for basic training in the Army. I will definitely be living these words for the next 3years.
I hope I can win this book to get some advice as to what I should do. As of now, I usually just pray for Jesus to help.
I have 5 kids. Sometimes I just don’t quite get it right. I had to say that first because in my mistakes Christ has shown me that being humble to even your children is so important. I try staying calm in the middle of chaos by keeping silent, praying a short prayer, thinking and asking for wisdom, weighing my answers and then gently speaking the truth in love. It also helps me to pick my battles wisely and give my kids the opportunity to work out their problems on their own which is a relief by itself… I don’t have to referee.
Facebook 🙂 and Pinterest
I remind myself and remember all the ways God has faithfully provided.
2 Cor. 12:9-10
I just break out singing praise songs to get My focus back on Christ and His strength to get through!
i pray and ask God to help my focus on the moment right now. I try to remember to breathe and repeat,” What time I am afraid, I will trust in You.” Trusting God is an act of will.
In the midst of chaos (especially the kind involving the “littles”) I lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower and P-R-A-Y…typically my kids will leave me alone long enough to collect myself and be the calm mom I need to be.
Everyday is a new lesson. Thank you Jesus!!
I go outside to watch the birds in our yard. We live 2 miles from a wildlife area and marsh, and since we moved up here I have become an avid birdwatcher. It reminds me of the wonder of God’s creation every day.
It’s hard to keep it all together and I don’t always get it right. But when I remember to respond instead of react, I pause for a moment, take a deep breath and ask for the Lord’s counsel. If it gets really crazy, I take a “Mommy time” out in my bedroom. I have a corner of my bedroom designated only for Mom – a big, comfy chair, my laptop, my Bible, my journal and usually a stack of books to keep me company. 🙂
It’s so hard to see the “whole picture” when I am IN a stressful, chaotic situation. I take a deep breath and close my eyes to remember that I am not alone. Often upon reflection I realize it’s not that bad, and I look to see what I can learn from it.
PRAY!!!!
When things get unbearable I try to stop, close my eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and remember God is still in control.
I try to remember to praise God first, for every trial is to teach me something, to shape me in His likeness.
In those moments when I have my head on straight, I just step away from the situation and pray. Not only does it help calm me down, it also gives me a little more clarity, so I don’t overreact.
In the middle of our most chaotic moments, I escape to the bathroom (my prayer closet) which is the only place I can get alone and cry out to God to show me the way through this situation.
To be honest, it depends on the day. I’d like to say I always turn to God first in the midst of chaos but sometimes I scream or cry or call a girlfriend before remembering that He is my truest friend, the one who has all the answers and the power to calm my “unglued-ness”. In the moments that I remember to let go and let God be God I am most at peace, I pray I continue to find more and more of those moments!
I have carved this scripture into my heart : “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14 NIV). In those most ‘unglued’ moments, God’s truth glues me back together. I am reminded that He is all-knowing and the people I lash out at, in anyway, are His children too. I want to reflect Him, especially when the flesh fights hard to take over. Oh, and I take a timeout (hide/pray/breath). 🙂
I try to take a deep breath and count my blessings at the moment. I don’t always remember to do that, but when I do, it completely changes my perspective.
I go for a walk…pretty much to escape instead of dealing with the disorder. Then come back and do anything but the tasks that have been put off too long.
If I can catch myself, I immediately ask Jesus to help me. I try to remember the big picture, that I am just experiencing emotion, and try to use wisdom.
Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing of God’s word.
I try to remind myself that God will work all things out for the good of those that love Him. And I do truly and passionately love Him. But honestly, I don’t always remember to think on Gods word or His goodness in the midst of the chaos. I have five children, I homeschool, I have a time consuming commitment to ministry, and I help my husband run his business. So….. I sing the old circus theme music, and I try to find something in the moment that I can I laugh at. Like yesterday, my three year old was standing on the bathroom counter…… Using my freshly cleaned sink as a toilet. First I was outraged, then I was fearful for his safety, and then I laughed. Of course I laughed after removing him from the counter. Well, I laughed a little while setting him down. It couldn’t be helped. 🙂
I have learned that there is nothing else that gives me peace than giving my problems to God. I admit I do it several times but I know He answers prayers.
I try to take a deep breath and remember that that moment is part of a plan that God has for me. I’ll admit that sometimes I forget, but I try to do my best to remember that it will pass.
Cry and stomp my feet and then I hear God say…..remember I will not put more on you than you can bear and I sniff a few times and regain my composure!! What a mighty we serve!!
I love the story of David and Bathsheba…I always prayed that Uriah would be rewarded in heaven for his selfless efforts on behalf of David and his people in battle. This story also taught me that God loves us so much…beyond our sinfulness…to repentence and a life with Him! Thank You Lord for Your great Love and for redeeming us through Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ!
I try to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that God is my light to hold onto through the darkness.
Sometimes all I can do is remember to say, “Jesus help me”. But I like the idea of the “prayer closet” above this made me smile, thanks for all the helpful tips ladies I enjoyed reading them and a few I will incorporate into my life!
I thank God for what the situation and ask for his guidance. It has taken me a long time to be able to thank him for EVERYTHING in my life even if I don’t like it. But I have found that being thankful and trusting him to work through it with me is the only way. I say lots of small prayers throughout my day or when I am going through tough times.
When just about to lose it, Plumb’s song “How Many Times” always comes to mind reminding me to take it and give it to God. With three boys, this happens a lot 🙂
I take a moment to breathe and remember that God purposes all things and that I need to trust in Him. Thanks for this story. it will remind me that humility is truly quality of character, not weakness.
Sometimes it’s as simple as: Stop. Walk away (whether physically or mentally). Breathe. Say, “Jesus, please give me wisdom.”
I am a homeschool mom of 3. We are all learning tools to keep calm in the moment. The one tool that works wonders is turning on praise music. It’s amazing how anger and frustration can lead to a heart that is calm and praises the Lord. My kids now request praise music! This has also opened the doors to some awesome conversation about what the songs really mean. In doing this we are praising God with our conversation.
Well, most of the time I probably don’t. But when I manage to get it right, deep breaths, prayers and putting things in perspective help.
I try to pray before I open my mouth….unfortunately sometimes it opens in the midst of my prayer…..those times it just ads to the chaos!!!
In the midst of chaos, I run for the hills, so to speak. I walk away from the issue, get in a super hot shower, and then as the water washes over me….my tears wash my heart of the hurt, anger, and every other emotion I’m feeling at that moment. I stay in there until I can’t stand anymore or my tears stop. I take a deep breath and as I do, happiness (sometimes), but most importantly peace is breathed into me. I now know that God is still here in my storm with me….He may not calm the storm, but He will calm me.
When things get chaotic and become too hard to control I sit at the piano and pour out my heart into song. It then transforms into Praise. Praise for the Lord in whom I can do al things. After a time of praising I have a new perspective and can cope with whatever situation I am in.
I try to under react to the situation. A lot of times I feel like I’m on auto pilot, I’m freaking out in my brain, but on the outside I’m just calmly going about the motions.
I plug in the praise music and take at least a song to breathe. It’s like balm on a burn!!!
I read your books! Seriously! That’s how I keep calm…..and interestingly enough, each time, the passage or story relates to my daily life.
When things aren’t going well, the only way for me to find peace is to retreat to my dining room where my Bible, Jesus, Calling and Made to Crave devotionals are always waiting. It has taken me 55 years to discover more peace in my life than ever before and it always starts by seeking His presence. I will admit that I do still have a pity party once in awhile (okay, more than once in awhile), but the calm I feel in God’s presence while offering a heart of Thanksgiving is the only way I find comfort.
I try to take a deep breath (which might sound more like a sigh sometimes!) and get a quick grrr out in my head before saying anything out loud. If I oops anyway, I try to set a good example by apologizing and/or saying a prayer out loud when I overreact with my kids. Exercising on a regular basis helps me be more positive and happy no matter how the rest of my day may go.
Lots of deep cleansing breaths and tons of prayer.
Ha! Do you REALLY want to know what I do in Unglued moments? I shut myself in a closet and cry 🙂 But only in rare moments. I usually try to take deep breaths and think about Jesus and how he forgives me time and time again.
I try to remember (try being the key word, there) to get down at their level. This helps me to remember they have a viewpoint, too, and their view of things is important to them. I believe getting down at their level helps me see their perspective through their eyes by looking directly at them, not from above them. If that doesn’t work I try to remember to pray.
How I stay calm I stop, close my eyes, count to 10 (or more) and then I pray!
I heard you on Focus the other night and I thought you wrote this book just for me! 🙂 I have become that “unglued” mom that I never thought I could be. 4 kids, 2 with special needs, one newly adopted toddler and I AM daily unglued. Some days I take so many deep breaths I think I might pass out!
Throwing myself at the feet of Jesus and reminding myself of the Truth in His word, reading the promises of His strength in my weakness… this gets me to supper time.
Of course I ask God for help, but sometimes I need small reminders to switch my focus from the turmoil. Sometimes I repeat a line from the movie “Finding Nemo”; “just keep swimming, just keep swimming”. Sometimes if someone is trying to get me to go along with their madness I remember a line from Spongebob Squarepants; “don’t ride the hook”. Maybe there is something to thinking more like a child to help me refocus and to calm down. Then, after I’m in a better state of mind, clarity comes shinning through, and I can remember that God has a purpose for my life.
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I try to remember the patience and grace God shows me over and over again. I am so thankful for his never ending love and constant patients with us and our sin.
In the last few months, I have been learning more and more to think on God. My thoughts are easily taken over by past hurts, things I should have done instead, what others might be thinking about me, etc. Just all of the junk. More and more mornings and painful, confusing moments, my first thoughts are to say “God, please help me” and it is making a huge difference in the rest of my day.
I hand my family over to God and tell him he is in control, not me. Yesterday morning, I was poster child for unglued. All the way to work, I repeatedly leand on God for wisdom.
I try to do what I tell my 7 year old to do when he starts to melt down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and count to 10. Usually that calms me down enough that I can think clearly. Then i thank God for these blessings in my life.
When I find myself on the verge of exploding at my little girls, I throw in some silly word to turn it into a conversation instead of a biting statement. Here’s an example of what I mean…
Darling, please stop dancing in circles goober goose, you are going to cause an accident. We save our circle dancing for the backyard silly girl!
And then I pray!
I go to the only one who can give me wisdom and peace in any circumstance, the Lord. I’m learning to go too him quicker as i get older. I used to take a few detours first, rants to my family, phone calls seeking others advice, etc. Buy he says, “child cast your cares on me” and i say “Father, council me”.
I really have a hard time controlling my emotions when my kids aren’t behaving, but lately I’ve become so aware of this shortcoming that I am determined with God’s help to do a better job. I need to stop, take a breath, say a prayer, and remember that I am my children’s moral and spiritual example. I do not want to pass a legacy of anger and frustration on to them but one of patience and love. It’s a daily battle here!
Breathe. That’s what I forget to do when I’m about to lose it. If I remember to breathe and just say, “Lord, help me,” things usually turn out better.
When chaos hits I have to close my eyes and breathe for a minute or two and pray that my reaction to the situation is one I will be proud of later. In my worst moments I still want to show Jesus.
I stay calm with deep breaths and the mantra, “This, too, shall pass. This, too, shall pass.” Helps me maintain perspective and get *less* upset by the little annoyances.
To be quite honest, I’ve not been doing such a great job staying calm “in the moment”. I’m seeking God’s help and wisdom daily and praying for Him to calm my heart! With three boys who know how to push my buttons and a 10 month old (boy) who thinks sleeping is optional, I need God and all his power to keep me from coming unglued!
In those moments, I try to slow down and remind myself of the things that are true, rather than the frustrations. Like my kids are wonderful little people just learning and growing and staying busy – they don’t mean to be loud and exhausting 🙂 Also, the most important truth that the Lord will always provide the strength we need for the life He desires us to live.
I try to just walk away from the situation for a minute. Although there are times that’s not possible, so I just have to grin and bear it. 🙂
Stay focused on Jesus and not my problems !
Lots of prayer.
Depends on the situation… I don’t often do a good job at this but sometimes just giving a growl or making some other silly noise does the trick. Others a a well timed hug works.
I pray to the Lord! Ask for help, guidance and clarity for the situation.
I clench my jaw, a lot. My dentist frowns on this technique.
Prayer-lots of one line prayers for help!
Deep breathing is good. Some days I need to remember I amnot the only one who struggles with motherhood.
usually I stay pretty calm… because I am a stuffer… but after a while, I become an exploder..THAT’S when I pray… mostly for forgiveness after the explosion..
After a late Friday night text, offering an unused ticket, i got to hear Lysa speak for the first time on Saturday. I have always known I was “unglued.” I now realize I have a choice. Before Saturday, I actually thought that was the way God made me. I live my life based on my emotions. I guess i thought over time my emotions would change so then my reactions would change. I am 43 and my emotional responses are the same as my 3 year old daugther’s. Maybe this seems elementary to the rest of you, but to me it is ground breaking. See, I was making my emotions my God..the basis for how I live my life and processes my world. Yes, God put these emotions in me, but they are not to rule over me or to take the place of God. God.s word is to be the lens through which I see and interact with my world. Thank you Lysa for opening my eyes to this truth!
Worship music
Deep breaths
Focusing on God
Sometimes I can only beg God to help me and try my best to hang on.
I honestly don’t feel like I keep calm. I react to fast, yell, and then feel like the worst mom!!!!!!!
When I find myself in the center of chaotic circumstances, I recall to mind Isaiah 26:3 which says, “You will keep the man (or woman, in my case) in PERFECT PEACE whose mind is KEPT on You, because he (she) TRUSTS in You!”
And, I completely do!
I liked your post about being afraid of what is around the corner. Reading through this, reminds me that I still need to become deeper rooted in my faith and turn the problems of each day over to the Lord. I work every day towards this goal, but I keep falling back into the routine. I was making great progress when I was leading the “Unglued” book study at my church, but now I have to find other means to keep me on track. Please pray I can turn over my problem of caring more about my children’s grades than they do. There is very little that I get as upset about as when my children aren’t performing to their full atttention. I pray God can help me with this issue. I pray all the families in Oklahoma can feel God’s arms wrapped around them as they pick up the pieces. I am so thankful for my children, and I hope I can continue to encourage them to follow God’s ways. Amen.
thanksgiving!
Rant, Pray for better response, then cry when I don’t put the prayer for good response into my first action. It usually comes out better if I will slow and look to God for a calm response insteade of exploding. One thing I try to run through my though my mind is “I have the fruit of the spirit” but when I blow it as Mom, I humbly go to my daughters and apologize. Parenting tuff stuff 🙂