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Why would a good God allow hurt?

November 13, 2018

Have you ever faced a hard life situation that left you thinking, “Why this? Why now? Why me?”

Sometimes our expectations look like one thing, but then our actual experience is quite another thing. The distance between those two becomes the fertile soil of disappointment where fear, disillusionments, and doubts about the goodness of God grow wild and fierce.

Disappointment is a feeling we all have, but few of us know how to process it, what to do about it, and most importantly how to find God’s goodness and wisdom in the midst of it.

It comes in varying degrees of pain. Sometimes we struggle over the small disappointments like a crazy haircut or a missed opportunity. Other times the disappointments are much more disillusioning and sometimes even devastating.

A friend that suddenly goes silent. A child that starts making decisions so opposite from the way you raised them. A job loss without any new possibilities on the horizon. A betrayal from someone who you thought was completely trustworthy. Financial debt that feels inescapable. A terrifying medical diagnosis. The sudden death of someone you love so much you don’t know how you’ll go on without them.

The list of disappointments big and small are endless. We’ve all experienced our fair share of things not turning out how we thought they would.

So what do we do about it?

How do we live the joyful and abundant Christian life when we are so afraid of the next unexpected hardship and heartbreak? And why would our loving God allow all of this hurt?

I’ve personally wrestled through these questions on a very deep level and asked the Lord to give me His perspective through one of the hardest seasons of my life. And I want to share those perspectives with you.

That’s why I wrote my new book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered.

It releases TODAY and if you purchase your copy today from Proverbs 31 Ministries, you’ll receive a download of one of my personal paintings!

I’d also love to have you join us tonight at 6:30pm EST for the live stream release day event! I’ll be giving a message and sitting down with my personal counselor to share practical ways to heal from our disappointments. Make sure to head over to my Facebook page to tune in.

If you are unable to watch the release day celebration at the scheduled time, don’t worry! You’ll be able to watch the replay tomorrow, right here on the blog.

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10 Comments
  1. NANCY PALMER

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR READINGS. If you have a group of women you are with, please please please pray for me. Where is God? I still believe but shattered. My daughter’s heroin addiction has caused me to financial ruin and she is clean now but the wreckage is still going on. Helping SO MUCH with grandchild….OH GOD HELP ME….I AM SO WEARY. WORKING 2 JOBS NOW AND I AM 63. THANKS SO MUCH!!

    Reply
  2. Sandy

    When I woke up this morning for some reason, you flashed in my mind and I wondered how you were doing? Then I turned on the radio and there you were, a guest on Focus on the Family. I listened to the program and it brought tears to my eyes. Tears for your hurt because I understand. I have experienced that same kind of hurt and the words you used to express that pain gave a voice to my pain.
    I first heard of you years ago when you wrote a message one morning that also brought tears to my eyes because it spoke to the pain I was experiencing at that time.
    I wanted to thank you for being fearless and giving a voice to that pain and letting me know I’m not crazy or irrational. The pain is real, but there is a God who understands and cares for me.

    Reply
  3. Joni

    Your book arrived at my home today. A blessing! Thank you for sharing your struggles and faith to grace us with more of God’s love.

    Reply
  4. Bethany Georgia

    I am so excited to buy and read this book. And I’m also so thankful for your willingness to share the journey of wrestling through these questions. We need more honesty, vulnerability and authenticity in our lives to remind each other that we’re not alone, that the answers don’t always come easy, and that God is still good. Praying that this book reaches people in a special way!

    Reply
  5. Ronda

    I’ve just ordered your new book, I can’t wait to read it! Jan. 9, 2017 I was a normal, healthy 45 yr old, wife, mother of three wonderful girls, Nana to a little boy & a little girl on the way.
    Jan. 10, 2017 my life was forever changed. I was diagnosed with stage 3 Kidney cancer, in Feburary that same year my right Kidney was removed & I began a long 10 week recovery. I have now been told that I am at stage 4, because the cancer most likely has spread to my lungs. We aren’t 100% sure due to the fact that the spots on my lungs are not large enough to biopsy (praise God!) I have to return to Emory every 3 months for scans, my medical team is watching me very closely. My life was again rocked to it’s very core in March of this year. I discovered that my husband of 25 years (at the time) was having an affair. My entire world imploded in a matter of a few minutes. Over the course of a few days I learned that he had two previous affairs, all with in a matter of about 6 months.
    Fast forward to today, my husband and I are working on complete restoration of our marriage, we’ve been to counseling, and we are building a new, stronger relationship. We celebrated our 26th Anniversary in Aug. We are 7 months into the forgiveness & restoration process. I won’t lie, it’s not easy, some days it is minute by minute. I am so thankful of your willingness to share your story, it is my hope that this will help both my husband & I as we work towards our goal of complete & total restoration.

    Reply
  6. Jo

    Just ordered your book, thank you so much for your honesty. I love your website, and I didn’t realize until today that you walked through the breast cancer journey also. May you be well and best wishes on your book release, so happy for you! Looking forward to reading this asap!

    Reply
  7. Cindy Hampson

    Hi Lysa, I have listened to you speak occasionally over several years, but wanted to let you know your words had the most impact and respect when you shared the story of hurt with your husband and your trust in God through it and acknowledging your husbands value and the reality of the battle he was in.

    Reply
  8. Cindy

    Every minute is just that a moment…a moment to live selfishly asking God to take me home or to live in the Spirit and endure, breath again, take another moment. I do crying out for a speck of sand. Asking the Holly Spirit to pray for me, not my will but yours, I breath again and endure more heart ache. His Holy Spirit fills me and I can float in the deepest pits pools of dispair. I pray for a speck of sand that my toe might touch to stand and He gives me a beach. I breath. So many years of brokenness, loss, heartache days feeling like shards of glass, which cut so deep no one can see the scars, I breath. I dig into the miry clay, grasping God, Jesus and He grasped me. Changed me. The hurts all remain and some days i’m Found digging my short stubby nails into the edge of the clift and Satan I saw pulling at my heels and I cry out and she hears me… I breath.
    Breathing is a quiet place of healing where the Spirit prays for me and trust grows. Trust grows through the cracks of the pain… through the drought of love He has sprouted an oak tree with many branches. Some branches are twisted by the times of the years, they reach out to give comfort and often are cut short by man, I breath. It’s not easy, it’s painful to be rejected when you had hoped they would have loved you back. No return calls, no bubble from your ur sent text, emptiness is yours ur growing space, the embers where to stay comfortable your u draw near to glowing embers. You look at each flicker of orange and know hope of a roaring fire… a fire to consume the hurts, doss and for goodness and truth to bloom. It’s nto easy. Breath. It is possible. Breath.

    From 100 devotions Lysa I’m making my journey. My youngest grandchild teaching me the importance of the Holy Spirit. Yes the
    Trinity is One. All too often my prayers are to my Father the One who saved me. In the quiet removing the lies digging out His Truths to grow in the dark of morning to prepare for the journey ahead. It’s not easy but it’s possible. Humblenesss rolls me over and over like waves crashing to the shore…. if for nothing more than to mark time by the foam it leaves up the shore to say He was here. To go and be … His will not mine. Breath, live, shine.

    I wish this devotional were in Spanish so I could share it with others who I can share due to language barriers.

    Reply
  9. Lynn Carmichael

    I’m a 62 year old woman having to start over. Four months ago, my husband phoned me to tell me he had moved out and our marriage was over. I was blindsided. I truly had no idea. Turns out he was having an affair with the woman who had been his teenage sweetheart 4 decades ago. A week after he was traveling out of state with her. He had me served with divorce papers the day before our 21st anniversary. Your book so very clearly describes what I am going through. I can only make it through a chapter a day as my emotions take over. I am a walking shell of a person. Thank you for putting into words what I am living.

    Reply
  10. Alvin J. Yoder

    I read today’s post you wrote on Fox News and really appreciated your transparent way of writing about the realities of living the Christian life. Thank you. It is refreshing and helpful. My wife has come back from some Women of Joy seminars, saying how helpful you were at those events.

    Reply
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