All relationships can be difficult at times, but they should not be destructive to our well-being. Learn the difference between a destructive pattern and a difficult season with this free resource, “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May Be Missing in Your Relationships.”

l

Something I’ve Never Told Anyone

August 25, 2016

Hey everyone! I’m Melissa Taylor, Director of Online Bible Studies at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Lysa invited me to guest post on her blog today which is perfect because I’m going to take this opportunity to confess something that I’ve never told anyone.

There have been times I have been invited to something, yet I declined because I couldn’t afford it. To be honest, sometimes I’d rather just not be invited because afterwards I feel like I’m not as good as others. That they are better than me. That I wish I was them. And even though I was included, I feel left out.

There. I said it.

Recently I was invited to go the the spa with some girlfriends to celebrate a friend’s birthday. It would’ve been so much fun, but here was the reality: We had just sent two kids off to college. Another still lives at home. Money is tight. It’s clear this is not in the budget and so, with bitterness in my heart, I declined.

It’s not the first time this has happened. I’ve declined several invitations based on the financial cost it would entail.

I’ve asked God, “Can’t You just bless me with a little more? Why does it seem that everyone else gets to go to these amazing places and do all these fun things and I can’t? I’m missing out on so much!”

If you’re thinking, “Wow, this girl is a spoiled brat!” I’d have to agree with you. Remember, this has been my little secret up ‘til now.

Then Lysa’s book Uninvited came along. At first I thought, “This sounds like a great book, but I don’t think it’s for me personally. I get invited to lots of things!”

Then I read Chapter 1, “I’d Rather Ignore Honesty.” BAM. It hit me hard! I realized that although I may not be rejected, I’m putting myself into the “rejected” category with my self-rejection. No one else thinks I’m a less than, left out loser. Just me.

Rejection has many faces. Sometimes it’s brought on by others, and sometimes we bring it on ourselves. My feeling less than was not due to another’s words or actions. It was my own self-rejection which was rooted in pride — something I needed to deal with.

In Chapter 11, Lysa writes:

This could be an invitation to live in expectation of something else. Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment.

One thing I’ve failed to acknowledge is the real reason I say “No, thank you.” It’s not because we don’t have enough money. It’s because God has given me an invitation to live in expectation of something else, like: My daughter’s lacrosse game. A date night with my husband. A vacation with my family. Getting my hair done. Taking my dogs to the vet.

Reading Uninvited has helped me realize that today’s disappointment is the reason I can say yes to tomorrow’s appointment. And the next time I need to decline an invitation due to the cost, I don’t need wallow in self-pity. Instead, I need to view it with the expectation of what God has in store for me.

If you can relate on any level, I want to invite you to join me for Proverbs 31 Ministries’ next Online Bible Study of Uninvited, beginning September 6. All you need to participate is the Uninvited book!

You can sign up and find out more about online Bible studies by clicking here.

Lysa and I can’t wait to do this study with you!

You May Also Like…
When life demands too much from you

When life demands too much from you

For the girl going to bed tonight feeling … Weighed down by fear and worst-case scenario thinking. Consumed with anxiety because of situations you don’t know how to fix. Stressed out, maxed out and worn out by all that’s on your plate right now. Hold on to this...

If you’ve been feeling alone in this season …

If you’ve been feeling alone in this season …

When the very people you thought you could count on hurt you … When it seems like no one understands you or the struggles you’re facing … When you're surrounded by others but still feel incredibly lonely … It’s tempting to wonder, Jesus, are You here? Do You care? Oh,...

Am I missing the red flags in my relationships?

When navigating difficulties in a relationship, do you ever find yourself asking, "Is this normal? Is every relationship this hard?" I understand these challenges and have also asked the same questions. But after years of personal counseling and extensive time spent...

47 Comments
  1. Alice Hymmen

    This is for Melissa Taylor’s recent post about declining social events because she can’t afford them. You are a strong lady and committed to obedience. I am ashamed because I too cannot afford certain things, but disobey and go into debt to get what I want. A good message for me. Bless you.

    Reply
  2. Alexis

    Thank you for your transparency Melissa… it’s like you are in my head!! I’m so glad that I found this ministry. It has helped me in ways that I knew I needed help with but didn’t know where to start. The OBS get me in the Word so I can learn about all of God’s promises for my life, and also gets me to take a good honest look in the mirror so I can bring about the change in me to draw me even closer to God. I look forward to this OBS… I have a feeling I am gonna have many Ah Ha moments!!
    Live Loved~~ ;-))

    Reply
  3. Sarah Kasch

    Melissa,
    I understand where you are coming from. I believe most of us do. It is hard when we aren’t able to join in and do things others are doing.
    Money is tight for way too many people.
    We also live in an age where we are asked to join this and buy that. Everywhere we turn are awesome Bible / book study we want to join.
    Lysa’s for just one example.
    To really to the study well, you need to buy the book. It’s not like reading a book of the Bible. You can download the Bible. There are Bible apps everywhere.
    We can’t just download this book.
    So, we often get discouraged. I am speaking for myself of course. For weeks, Lysa’s book has been advertised. I signed up for the Bible study, knowing I would have to do it without the book.
    I am glad that you
    have so many resources for us. It helps. It is better to at least do the study with what I have than to not do it at all.
    Looking forward to the study. Looking forward to the day I can actually read the book. Have a wonderful Thursday. Sarah.

    Reply
    • Dee Yates

      Sarah,
      I’d love for you to email me…[email protected]….I would love to share privately with you a blessing God placed on my heart.
      Wrapped in His Love,
      Dee

      Reply
  4. Lisa

    Melissa,
    Thank you for being so open and honest!! Profound!! Looking forward to
    the Bible Study.

    Reply
  5. Frankie Gonzalez

    So many times growing up I felt this way. We didn’t have much money and my friends were always getting to do things that I couldn’t afford to do. It’s a heartbreaking thing, but if we can realize that God is storing up other things for us, it makes it so much easier to bear.

    Reply
  6. Jennifer

    Love you so much! Thank you for your willingness to lead by example – to be vulnerable and share to teach us all! Much love!

    Reply
  7. Lauren

    I so need to read this today. I have done this so many times to myself. I am blessed in so many ways. I need to remind myself every day Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment. Thank you for sharing this.

    Reply
  8. Karon Fluharty

    Thank you Melissa. I think a lot of us can relate! You are a great leader. Can’t wait to get into Uninvited! God bless.

    Reply
  9. Janice Bittner

    I haven’t had a vacation for 16 years. No matter what I do, there is never enough money. And a short time ago, I was in tears because a co-worker had just come back from her THIRD vacation of the year. And was getting ready to go on a FOURTH!!! Thankfully, God sent me a good friend, who listened to my cries, then gave me some “put on your big girl panties” advice. Too many people use plastic to take all these trips. And then they end up paying 10 times as much for that vacation because of the credit card interest charges and only paying the minimum amount due. And when disaster strikes, as we all know it will, they don’t have enough room on their credit card to take care of it. “Do you want to live that way?” my friend asked me. Without hesitating, I gave out a resounding “NO!” So, in my lack of vacation, as well in other things I can’t afford, I have learned to look at the situation and state, “Well, I can’t do it right now, but you just wait. When the time is right, God is going to give me the means to go on a spec-TAC-ular vacation (or purchase such and such), without having to worry about how I’m going to pay for it later, with ALL the bells and whistles, with First Class passage (because air/rail travel is so difficult for me), and the memories of that vacation will sustain me for the next however many years. I was able to go to Europe 16 years ago, without cost (other than meals and gift shop purchases) because of the frequent flyer miles my siblings had acquired from their respective jobs. I am SOOOO looking forward to the next time God places someone in my life who will allow me to travel in style at little to no cost. It is so hard to wait, but it’s a lot easier now since I’ve put on my big girl panties. 😉

    Reply
    • Tonya Brown

      I can so relate to the vacations. I have worked most of my life and we have always taken a vacation once a year. (I grew up vacationing in Florida twice a year for two weeks at a time) when I married, he was not used to taking vacations except maybe to visit family. But, he knew it was important to me, so we would try to save and work overtime just to go on the vacation. Nothing fancy a week at the beach or maybe a short 4 days vacation. To the mountains. Then in the last several years, the vacations became less. First it was if we skip a trip this year we can get those floors you are wanting. (Still waiting 15 years later ?) The retirement from one job and starting a business with a partner postponed other vacations. Life does seem to get in the way. I lost my job due to cutbacks after 20 years and at my age, and health I could no longer work as an RN with regular duties. So I knew the vacations or even weekend trips were not going to happen anytime soon. That was 6 years ago. This year (2016) was just like any other year to begin with. However, for Sping break, I was able to go with my daughter and grandson to Florida for the week. It was a last minute thing and with all of us chipping in it was affordable. My oldest daughter even drove down with my youngest grandchild and had a long weekend. We so totally enjoyed every minute of this trip and loved walking the beach daily. In the past due to health reasons, I did good just getting to the beach and the water but to walk 3 miles on the beach was incredible. In June, my daughter was telling me that a coworker was trying to sell her timeshare week in Myrtle Beach for $500. My husband came in that same day and said a customer had given him a nice tip and it was mine. The customer said he felt led to give this to him. Yes, you guessed it, it was $500 so my husband and I went to Myrtle Beach for the first time ever and both of my grown daughters came too minus the grandsons who were working for the oldest and the youngest was at his dad’s. The past month, my oldest grandson had just broken up with his girlfriend and he was so hurt and not dealing well with it, so my daughter told him lets get away to the mountains for the weekend. She did not want to go by herself so I went with her. We mostly sit at the motel as he did not want to be out in crowds but it was still away. Now, my youngest daughter and I and headed to St .augustine for a week prior to Thanksgiving, another friend could not use her timeshare and we got it. She is a really good friend and we are just making payments to her. God has blessed me with Four trips this year. My husband has even said that I am a totally different person at the beach and always smiling. I do need to add that any vacation we ever took, credit cards were neve used at all. In March, I used my WalMart savings catcher to purchase our groceries and I needed a new suitcase which was purchased with money in my PayPal account that I had gotten through grocery rebates. So your time wil come and He will bless you abundantly

      Reply
  10. Mary Lynch

    thank you so much for what you wrote today. It really touched deep places in my soul. i have lack of money (only $3,000) to my name, due to a very difficult divorce that is still going on because he said he was going to make it so hard for me, and also because i am disabled due to chronic lyme disease and cannot work and treatment is so expensive. It is an invisable illness that leaves me isolated. I have had to decline so much, due to physical limitations and lack of money, that people stop inviting me. I have always felt that i don’t belong and that even if i go to something with people, i still feel left out, that they are better than me, that i wish i was like them, that it would be better if I was not there. i can’t wait to read this book and for the bible study.

    Reply
  11. Nancy Silvers

    Oh Melissa, I can so relate!! I’ve had to decline many things due to finances. I love the shift in perspective from “I can’t do this ? because of finances” to “? I’m saying no today because tomorrow I get to___________”
    Thank you so much for your transparency and amazing servant leadership-it’s an honor to serve on the P31 OBS Team with you!

    Reply
  12. Brandi Provias

    Melissa,
    Thank you for such an honest devotion!! I can relate to these feelings so much!! Now, I can look at my “no’s” in a different light!! I was struggling with telling a group of friends no on a trip but now I don’t because I know there is a reason! Thank you again!!

    Reply
  13. Kristy Aiken

    Melissa Taylor- I LOVE YOU TO PIECES.

    Reply
  14. Lori

    Oh my gosh I’ve so been there Melissa. Just this weekend. Love how you’ve put that this is for tomorrow’s appointments … Can’t wait to share this study with you, Lysa and the whole OBS Team!!!

    Reply
  15. Dawn W.

    Wow Melissa…thank you. I have already signed up for the o line study, but this confirms it is exactly where I am supposed to be. Thanks for sharing your heart…it touched mine. #Loveanyway

    Reply
  16. Diana Rockwell

    Dear Melissa, I so appreciate what you said because I need to start saying no retirement is around the corner for me. This book is for me, I wear my feelings on my sleeve and so rejection is something I feel. I have been like the clown laughing on the outside crying on the inside. Glad to be of service. OBS Team member. Diana Rockwell

    Reply
  17. Janice

    Melissa, thanks for your devotion today, it hit home hard. I too have been going through this same thing for the past couple of years. I have gott depressed over it but you have really helped me with a perspective. Thank you so much!

    Reply
  18. ShirlAnn

    If I’m to be honest, as you have been, I know that I avoid friendships with people who have money because of the same thing…I can’t afford to hang out with them. I can’t afford the things they can. My house isn’t as big as… My clothes don’t have the fancy labels… Things that don’t bother me other times but do when I stand beside people who ‘have’. I feel less than. Oh boy! Thanks for your candor and for making me think.

    Reply
  19. Brenda

    I really don’t have anyone to decline to. Since my best friend passed. I don’t go anywhere with anyone except my hubby and my grandkids and myself and of course God. I do feel uninvited when my daughter in laws have something or go somewhere and don’t invite me. Last year or the year before my oldest son bought a new SUV. We had invited all the kids and grandkids over and my brother for dinner. While at the table my sons wife ask the other daughter in law if she would like to go for a ride in the new SUV and they left. Right in front of me and did not ask me. To me that completely told me they do not like me and just slapped me in the face with it. Wish they liked me. 🙁

    Reply
    • Susana

      Dear Brenda, I am sorry you feel rejected by your daughters-in-law. But my bet is, they do not realize that by them getting together, they have made you feel left out. It is natural for sisters/in-law to want to get together, seeing as they have similarities-what a blessing that they get along!

      May I suggest something to you? It is obvious you value your family, and quality time shared with them would mean a lot to you..share that with them! Please don’t be inhibited by what you viewed as “a slap in the face” when maybe they didn’t think you would be interested. With grace, give them the benefit of the doubt, and INVITE THEM to spend an afternoon with you-just the girls, or go shopping together, or movies, it lunch date..doesn’t that sound fun?? Please reach out to them, and let them know how much spending time with them would mean the world to you. Please let me know how it goes!!

      Much love,

      Susana

      Reply
  20. Janie

    Wow! Thanks for sharing in today’s blog, you’re view on Chapter 1 sure opened my eyes to a reality with myself. I have put myself on the rejection list with some that do love me, for me. Bless you for being able to be honest with your feelings.

    Reply
  21. Tenneil

    Right to my heart! Not easy for you. Sooo appreciated! Thanks Melissa!

    Reply
  22. Gina

    Thanks for sharing!! I’m excited to start reading this book and being a part of the online study! I do this a lot myself feeling rejected, when in reality I am not actually being rejected!!

    Reply
  23. Debra

    Awesome article! it is so true, I am able to say ‘yes’ to what God has called me to since I have said no to other things. I shouldn’t be sad, I should be jumping up and down for joy because God knows me, and His appointments are truly the ‘desires of my heart’. I wouldn’t want to miss them, then I would truly be disappointed. Thanks for helping me to change my thinking on that.

    Reply
  24. Marietta Taylor

    Melissa,

    I could have written this same post. So many invites turned down. So many conferences I’m told about that just aren’t in the budget. Sometimes I handle it well. Others…..not so much. Thank you for the reminder that there is another God-ordained appointment in the future!

    Reply
  25. Christina

    Such a great word! Thanks for being honest, and helping the rest of us be honest with ourselves about what is keeping us stuck over in the uninvited corner of the dance floor!

    Reply
  26. Joni

    I love your honesty! I also have been in your situation and I have just avoided invites. Your post has given me a different perspective on my situation. What I love most about the Proverbs 31 ladies is your honesty. I have been around many Christian women who wear masks and make life look so grand. It is awesome to get a real perspective on being a wife and mother from honest, transparent women.

    Reply
  27. Robin

    I understand where you are coming from, Melissa! I have a slightly different angle…I’m between jobs (Ok, unemployed) & there are lots of things I miss out on (vacations, spas, etc.) My test comes when some dear friend wants to pay for me. I used to just make excuses & say No thank you, but lately the Lord is showing me how that blesses them too…& then we get to fellowship & enjoy each other’s company…& God’s. So, be humble enough to accept the occasional gifts from friends…it is from God…& God is pleased with them & blesses them too!

    Reply
  28. Beverly Jones

    Melissa, THANK YOU so much for sharing your heart and encouraging so many of us who have the same feelings. Having been raised to be conservative, I decline to invest in anything out of our budget, and have peace and other blessings instead. I have learned that investing in relationships, rather than material things or activities not in our budget, and showing sincere concern for others has brought sweet lasting friendships, We invite others to our (modest, but welcoming) home regularly to play card or board games, have light snacks, and evenings of fun, sharing, and laughter. And in their times of need, we’re there to encourage, pray, visit or help however we can. And on the flip side, we reap the same seeds of kindness we’ve sown. And we don’t always invite the same people, but look for others who seem to “need friends”, and new people from our church. The bottom line is thinking of others, living by the golden rule, showing the love of Christ to others. That brings great joy, and I don’t feel deprived. I really used to have that inferior complex (and it tries to sneak back in at times) but it helps when I choose to change my thinking from self, to others.
    God bless you, and Lysa as you reach out to encourage others!

    Reply
  29. Christine

    I can totally relate to declining things due to financial reasons and how it has made me feel uninvited (less than). Recently I attended a clothing “party” and purchased a blouse even though it was way out of my price range. I felt sick because I knew that it was too expensive, but I didn’t want to feel “less than” by not ordering like all of the other women at the party. I tried to justify it in my head, but in my heart that’s what was really going on. It’s amazing that I can feel “less than” in all kinds of situations. Apparently I still need Jesus to help me heal from past experiences. Thanks for your honesty. I am right with you and it feels good to get it out.

    Reply
  30. Brandie

    Melissa, this is right on time! Thank you for letting God use you, thank you for being open & real & allowing us to be able to relate because you’re transparency is a blessing! I have a disability and I need to say no a lot more but I have a hard time saying no because I want to be involved and I want to do things. our church is always talking about everyone being the hands and the feet and doing the work of Jesus and sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough because I’m physically Limited. So I’ll push myself to do more, but then I’m always exhausted & having a hard time doing things that really need to be done. But, this is a good reminder because I’m raising two children, – phenomenal women and if I’m raising them for Christ, to have a heart towards the Lord then I think I am doing a really important job and it really is a big deal and that is being the hands and the feet of Jesus, right? I see people at my church going to do fun things out, to birthday dinners, going to paint nights or whatever and a lot of times I can’t afford it, or I don’t have someone that can watch our kids. I feel really bad but if I can afford to buy Bibles for my children, if I can afford to purchase the next Bible study then I think actually I’m focused on what’s most important. I try to remind myself constantly that most of America has maxed out credit cards, huge home mortgages, cars with big payments that are nowhere near paid off etc. None of those things even matter. None of it will get us to Heaven. & I couldn’t trade my family for a spa day EVER.

    Reply
  31. Gayle

    Thank you so much for your new book Lysa. It is so relatable on many levels. Today’s blog was really good. Im in the chapter Friendship breakups. If I could I would high five you on this one. I am in women’s ministry also. I have been through some tough friendships. One in particular was a great gift giver. I love gifts. But began to see this become unhealthy. I had to give the talk with love about this. Next day at Bible study she gave back prayer books that I had helped her with plus other things. Wow. Love to rejection over night. I too wanted to fight for her but this was an unhealthy bond on many levels. It was one I also did not reconnect to. Thank you. You say in you books what many of us walk through. We know who the real enemy is. Thank you so much Lysa

    Reply
  32. Esther

    So good to meet you at She Speaks, Melissa!
    Lysa is so humble and helpful- I love the message of Uninvited, (I bought 5 copies to share) because it is not tunnel driven to meet one need. The book topic affects multiple areas of life-as you have given a different twist described in your post.
    YES-Our Perspective is Imperative!

    Reply
  33. MizM

    I read my first hint of what Lysa shared in Uninvited in February, 2015. It was a post / article about her attending a writers’ conference, circling to find her name only to end up sitting alone. I could totally relate to that situation. I can also relate to Melissa’s post above regarding turning down invitations due to money matters (have two daughters in college as well) and / or feeling less than others at gatherings because of my opinion of myself.
    I have thoroughly been enlightened, encouraged, and given hope by reading Uninvited. I laughed. I cried. I prayed. I pondered. I have hope that I no longer have to live trapped in feeling less than and insecure as I chose my thoughts, attitudes, and actions – reflecting on His love and Word.
    I look forward to moving beyond the fear and anxiety of anticipated rejection and putting God’s truth in my mind and heart and practicing living loved and wanted because He most definitely says that I am, which is all that matters.
    So thankful you all keep it real…can’t wait for the OBS and the sharing in community that this study will bring = “Me, too”

    Blessings!

    Reply
  34. Connie Boyd

    Wow – Hi meet me, we’re the same! What a perspective of it being rooted in pride. That is the second time the Lord has brought ‘hidden’ pride to my attention in my actions. Thank you for this post – I look forward to the OBS.

    Reply
  35. Gina Maria

    I also feel i must forego buying the book for the study due to medical bills, but thank you for the first 3 chapters.
    It was just what i needed to read as I feel rejected by the universe at large for decades of disabling suffering and misery, but now I do NOT feel rejected by God tonight because of the Bible verses that I read through the chapters of the book online. i had been sobbing all day that i should have given up on life decades ago but tonight as directed by the book i read in Romans “For Thy sake we are killed all the day long ..but principalities and powers shall never be able to separate us from God and Christ. That as i stop fighting for a scrap of earthly happiness that does not materialize i should store up treasures in heaven by seeking the Spirit and not earthly happiness and will reap life and peace. Only the Lord Himself is the Rock Eternal, I read. Also, “God I want your truth to be the loudest voice in my head.” My identity has been stripped for decades but i read tonight that my identity is only found in God’s Word, in Christ; that we cannot assess God’s goodness by how life FEELS, we know God’s goodness by His TRUTH. Even without the book i look forward to this study of the Truth. Casting down imaginations and taking every thought into captivity [i am paraphrasing]. i am glad i have found this study and pray that i will keep up with it.

    Reply
  36. Colleen

    With my highlighters & sticky notes I read and re-read parts of Chap 1 that I identified with. Rejections are like stealth bombs & zoom straight to my core. I am aware of how sensitive I am, but I’m far better now. I love people & my family…just b/c I do doesn’t mean that’s the easy part. Why can’t we all just get along? The other statement I related to was: ” My pace & brain aren’t in sync.” It’s not b/c I’m 50, I put a lot on my plate simply b/c I want to enjoy all that life brings, God, kids, dogs, friends, OBS, & bunco! Woot! 🙂 Love that we can be transparent & not judged in this group. We need to be able to do this, like an AA meeting is run. xoxo

    Reply
  37. Patty

    Love reading this blog. It’s like someone is speaking for me. I was recently nominated to join a group in my field of work. I was very honored and it made me feel great that someone would want to nominate me. It made me feel very important. I accepted. However, there is an annual fee, which in all honesty, I can’t afford, and it will cost additional money to get to some of the events. But I felt if I declined the nomination it would look bad and honestly my pride would be affected. Now I wish I was honest in the beginning and declined. Now I don’t know what to do.

    Reply
  38. LoRee Russell

    Hi Melissa,
    This is my first OBS and I am very nervous. I am not sure where to start, exactly, I have been married 3 times. My first marriage lasted for 18 years and was very abusive….mostly mental but towards the end it did get physical. God did send me 3 very handsome sons. Because I let my ex intimidate me I gave my boys to him in the the divorce agreement, because, he told me he would kill me if I did not do it. I then met “who I thought was my perfect man”. He did give me a set of twins (one of which I lost in the 2nd month of my pregnancy) but God is so amazing that I was able to carry my now 14 year old son. My 2nd husband was 5 yrs. younger than me and not as mature as I thought I needed. Though I loved him dearly. When he asked me for a divorce when our son was 18 months old “I thought I would die” and the rejection was unbearable. Again God came to my rescue because I had my baby! I stayed single and had decided it was just going to be me and my son…..who needs a man to support me Right? Well God put a man who I would have never chosen. We have definatly had rough spots but we are now going on 9 years of being together. Unknown to me “but known to GOD” my 2nd husband decided to commit suiside 3 days before my son was to start 5th grade…ugh. Then just 2 months and 2 days ago my oldest son “who was 32” drowned in the Colorado River in Topock, Az. Leaving behind a wife, 4 yr. old daughter, 3 brothers, his father and myself. I was and am still in shock……While I was in Arizona in 103 to 125 degree weather….one morning at 6am I went out to the motels pool, got on my knees, and sobbed and pleaded with God to let me die. I was not strong enough to handle , not only the death of my first son, but to be strong for my other boys, I called out asking for God to keep his promise that if I asked anything in Jesus name with humble heart that God would answer. At that moment an amazing peace came over me and I was able to cope with everything that had to be done.
    So I have been home “Yakima, WA.” For just over 1 1/2 months and feel like I am loosing my mind and am lost.
    I was checking my e-mail and noticed an e-mail from Proverbs 31 Ministries….thought to myself….hmmm, I opened up the e-mail and it was the first breath of fresh air that I have had in years!
    After reading the first three chapters I felt like a Hugh weight was lifted off of my shoulders……especially when Lysa talked about how you cannot help others when you are an empty shell!!!
    That is me!!
    I truly hope you don’t mind me sharing all of this with you, I know in my heart that God lead me or had you e-mail me for a specific reason!! You all seem like such Beautiful souls! I look forward to becoming friends and ROCKING this Bible Study!!!! Thank you for finding me and I know with Gods help and yours I will be able to stop believing the enemies lies and find healing and hope for living my Life Loved!!!

    Reply
  39. Kim Olin

    I, too, am just like this. I hate to not go places when friends ask. I feel guilty, ashamed, lower than low & stupid. I’ve started the ‘UNINVITED’ Bible study, but still I have been unable to live loved, feeling worthy of other’s love & especially God’s.

    Reply
  40. Kerry Kerr McAvoy, PhD

    Thank you for this amazing book (Uninvited). I thought it contained the best Christian explanation of the psychological maturation process psychologist, David Schnarch, PhD, in his book, The Passionate Marriage, calls differentiation.

    Your book challenged me not to rush out to the kitchen for another cookie, to distract myself with another television show, or to pick up my phone and text a friend, but instead to go God with my needy, whining concerns. This is hard work, but I have heard and felt God meet me in a powerful way when I have done the harder thing of learning to lived loved.

    Thank you for calling me out into the deeper waters of psychological growth by turning to God when I need to shore up my shaky self-esteem.

    Reply
  41. Amanda Welch

    Hello Lysa! I loved the uninvited book so much that I am starting the DVD and study with my connect group! There is one issue we have run into, there are no subtitles, and because of that one of our ladies is unable to participate in the DVD portion of the study. Is there a transcript available for the DVD portion.? If so, how do I get it? Please feel free to contact me by email. Thank you so much!

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Hi, Amanda!

      We just sent you an email! Thanks so much for reaching out about this. Praying you and the ladies going through the study are ABUNDANTLY blessed!

      Love,
      LT Ministry Team

      Reply
Leave a Reply to Gayle Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let's Stay In Touch