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Devastated but not Destroyed

April 22, 2016

I took my seat in the middle of the food court and was thankful I could hide my tears by staring down at my food. I quietly brushed my napkin across my cheek. I blinked. I tried desperately to swallow.

I’m not normally a mall-goer, but that day I needed a place to hide. A place to process. A place to remember that the whole world wasn’t falling apart.

The news I’d received from just an hour earlier crushed me. And devastated me.

A friend I love made a decision that I couldn’t for the life of me understand. It wasn’t in keeping with her character. It wasn’t something I ever dreamed this person could do.

The affects of this decision would careen across her life and mine with really hard consequences.

Glancing at the table across from me I saw two women a little younger than me. They were laughing and cutting up food into bite-size pieces for their young kids. I could hear them talking about costumes that needed to be made for their upcoming preschool performance. One of them was having a hard time finding purple tights and she desperately needed purple tights to make the costume complete.

I whispered under my breath, “I wish my biggest issue was purple tights.” Although my whispered statement was lost in the chaotic chorus of food court voices and noises, the scream inside my heart hovered over me in deafening tones.

What. In. The. World!

My mind raced. My throat tightened. My eyes leaked uncontrollably.

I tried to pray but honestly I felt like God was pretty distant at that moment.

It’s hard to stand on the goodness of God when you feel like life has just been stripped of so much good.

I forced my legs to support my body. I walked mindlessly to my car. And I drove home.
It’s in these moments where we know if the Word of God has seeped deep into our hearts or not. Though the world seemed to swirl and spin without anything for me to hold onto, one simple statement rose to the top of my mind and cut through with crystal clarity, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

I heard it over and over.

And I knew it wasn’t my mind conjuring up this Bible verse. It was the Holy Spirit inside of me speaking. Reassuring. And quite honestly, holding me together when circumstances were literally tearing me apart.

I don’t know what hard reality is crushing your heart right now. But I sense I’m not alone. The enemy is on a full-out attack against everything good, sacred, pure and honest. He is the father of lies who wants us to believe that if our circumstances fall apart, then so will we.

But take it from a woman in the middle of my own hard reality: Satan is a liar. God is a Redeemer. A Healer. The Author of hope. The Pathway of restoration. The great I AM.

Right this very minute there are some things you and I must cling and hold to as if our lives depended on it:

1. God loves us and He will not leave us.
2. This battle isn’t ours. The battle belongs to the Lord. Let Him fight for you. Save your emotional energy and use it to dig into His Word like never before. Our job is to be obedient to God. God’s job is winning this battle.
3. The battle might not be easy or short-lived, but victory will be there for those who trust God.
4. God is good even when the circumstances are darker than you ever imagined. God is good even when people are not. God is good even when things seem stinking hopeless. God is good and can be trusted when you feel suspicious of everyone and everything around you.
5. Lastly, God is good at being God. Don’t try to fix what He hasn’t assigned you to fix. Don’t try to manipulate or control or spend all your emotions trying to figure it out. Let Him be God. Free yourself from this impossible assignment.

Sweet friend, be still. And know. He is God.

I’m praying for you. And I treasure the fact I know you are praying for me.

I had some “Be Still and Know” bracelets made to help remind me of these truths in the hard moments. If you’re going through a hard time, get one of these by clicking here and let’s band together to declare we Jesus girls may not have all the answers for our situations. But by God we will stand in the midst of our hard days and declare we trust the One who holds every answer.

We will … be still … and know … HE IS GOD!

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  1. Kathy

    Thank you!
    It is four in the morning and I’ve been awake for hours.
    This is what I needed to read and concentrate on.

  2. Laurie Fritsch

    Such an outsianding word, Lysa. Thank you for sharing from the bottom of your heart, and from God’s amazing Word.

  3. Leslye Long

    Powerful entry. It reminded me when I was in a heavy place too and couldn’t see my way. I reached out to several people but it was when God helped me not try and fix things with my remedies but use the Word for myself and the situation that I began to live again. THINGS Are So MUCH Better NOW . I see the Word and the effects if it in greater detail and I am learning to labor to enter into that rest everday, for anything. I’m no longer Lord or the fixer-for whats not mine to fix and it feels good. Thx for sharing your heart with us all. -LL, Restored in Chicago

  4. The Home Loving Wife

    Lysa, THANK YOU for being so real and raw and transparent. I can’t tell you how deeply what you just said resonates inside my heart. I’m not there right now, but boy have I felt as you did time and time again. I especially loved these two thoughts: “It’s hard to stand on the goodness of God when you feel like life has just been stripped of so much good” and “The enemy is on a full-out attack against everything good, sacred, pure and honest. He is the father of lies who wants us to believe that if our circumstances fall apart, then so will we.” I’ve battled against that last thought my entire life, and know others who are walking through this fire right now. So again, THANK YOU for this simple truth. You are such a tremendous blessing, xo.

  5. Chrissi

    This really hit home. My heart has been crushed by the same situation as your’s by your friend, except mine was because of my sister. She has been my best friend and closest confident since we were children, but now I do not even know her. Her decision to leave her husband and children for another man,regardless of the fact that she’s a believer, has left me emotionally numb. I know the Lord wants me to love her and speak truth to her, however I cannot figure out how to relate to her anymore. Everything is fake and I feel guarded…..I can’t trust her with my heart. Please pray for me and if offer any advice if you want.

  6. Michal Siddall

    I really needed this. Our adult son has been missing for a year, and last week skeletal remains were found in the general area where the authorities had been searching. It will be at least a month before DNA can determine if this is, in fact, our son, or some other poor soul. Forensic scientists are poring over the remains in an effort to determine exactly what happened. It will be horrendous to find out that it is him, and even worse if we find out that it is not, because we have wanted so much to bring him home to put him to rest. We knew that unless something awful had happened he would never be gone from his family this long with no communication. Your words reinforced that we must, “Be still, and know that He is God.” It is in His most capable hands and we can be sure that He is taking care of it in the best ways possible.

    • Cathy

      I am praying that you receive answers that will quiet your heart, if that’s possible.

    • Blaise

      Praying for you, family and son.

    • Robin Aguirre

      Dear Michal,
      My heart goes out to you; my deepest sympathy for you. I’m praying for you and your son. May God bring peace to your heart and know that you are not alone. <3

  7. Holly Irwin

    God bless you, Lysa.

  8. Jan

    Thank you for this. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one who can sometimes let bad news send me in a tailspin. Thankfully, our God knows we need His reassurance to get through it.

  9. Melissa

    Thank you for this message today. God loves us and He will never leave us. I am so very thankful that I am His child.

  10. Suzanne

    I’ve had some crazy health issues that doctors can’t pin down. It’s frustrating and sometimes feels hopeless. So glad I can rest in the loving arms of my heavenly father. Thank you Lysa for such a timely word.

  11. Sharon

    Wow. I needed this today. I’ve been dealing with some hard realities in my life. I’m crushed with unbelievable circumstances right now. I know God “has it” and “me”. Thanks for the encouragement.

  12. August

    Lysa, thank you so much for sharing this with me this morning. There are things going on in my life that I just can'[t for the life of me understand. I don’t know what God is doing and I can’t trace Him right now so I just have to trust Him. I have been told over and over again to “be still and know that He is God, I will be exalted among the heathens”. I can’t even type what is going on its just overwhelming. I just want to be still but its so hard for me to be still. when I finally get still it feels like why couldn’t I do this in the first place. This isn’t my first time being at where I need to be still and allow God the opportunity to work things out for my good, its just so uncomfortable to me. Thanks Lysa I needed this reminder and I need one of your bracelets to help me be reminded.

  13. Darlene

    Thank you for this. It was like God knew that I needed this today. It has been a rough week for me. Yes, God is good and there all the time. I think that sometimes I forget that when things are messed up and not going as they should. God bless you.

  14. Claudia

    Thank you for sharing from your heart. I needed to be reminded of these truths. God is good, even when EVERYthing else isn’t. God bless you and your ministry.

    Praying for you!

  15. Sherry

    Just found out that my husband of 26 years is having an affair. I am devastated. Lysa, your words are such a comfort. I ask that everyone who read this please pray for my two precious girls and me! I know God will get us through, and I need your prayers.

  16. Pam

    Thank you for being real and sharing yourself with us. Sometimes I feel all alone in these trials but your sharing shows me that we all have these moments of dispair but God is right there in the midst of it with us. I truly need Him more today than ever before.

  17. Mark

    So, I have to ask…I read this a few times and I was a little perplexed as to what upset you? Was it the purple tights or was it the tenor of the conversation the girls were having? Not trying to be facetious, I just didn’t understand what upset you?

  18. Tammy McComber

    How wonderful our Father is, in the midst of turmoil-I open up this message and I read exactly what I needed. Thank you for carrying his message to me-my prayer for God to remind me of how much he loves me has been answered in your simple words-Be Still and Know!!

  19. Jen

    yep, I always feel like I need to fix things, to ‘help’ God. You just lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, Lysa. God is in control. But how do we know when we are supposed to act, move, speak? I’m guessing your answer is prayer. The Spirit will tell me.
    Bless you sweet lady.

  20. Jamie Bowers

    Thank you!

  21. Vicki

    I know everything you wrote is true . Be Still… For the last 14 years my life has been hell. My soul mate divorced me 2 years after we adopted two children, then after many years of loving these children they have walked away , Novenber 2014 I was in a car accident and hurt my back for the last 1 1/2 year I have lived in isolation with no support group tiny apartment and have sold almost everything I own just To make it each month. I am a Christian I’ve forgiven people that have hurt me. What I don’t understand why I must suffer so each day I wake up I pray I can dress myself and do what needs to be done . I honestly don’t have anything to live for . SorryI am carrying on but there’s got to be more to life than this . Thank you Vicki

  22. Anna

    Thank you,Lysa, so needed this message today. All in God’s time, He is always so right on. I love this scripture

  23. beth

    please join me and pray for the healing of my heart, my husbands heart, and the restoration of our marriage. “if two or more are gathered in my name…” Thank you,

  24. Jon

    We have often think thoughts akin to “I wish my biggest issue was purple tights.” It so often seems like we are the only ones going through something like that. We need to hear we are not alone. Thanks for sharing.

  25. Jo-Dee

    My 19 year old nephew died one year ago May 1st. An apparent blood clot to his lung. His mom,my sister, took her life on November 11th. Her husband took his life on Easter Sunday leaving my 21 year old niece.

    I am struggling. Prayers appreciated.

  26. Laura Strand

    Praying for strength during the “Be Still” moments you and others in the comment thread are experiencing today. And I wanted to let you know how much your honesty means. This inspired some of my blog post this week about Dinah.

  27. Mary Jo Cyr

    I need to “be still” and remember, that Yes, He is God. I have my own personal struggle right now against food addiction. Literally. I cannot get enough and KNOW my gluttony is a sin. I try and try and try and try. Tonight, for whatever reason, (God, I know) I went to YouTube to watch a Made To Crave video. I watched session one and went back to my Made To Crave book and re-read my highlights. I am trusting God that as He says, “with God all things are possible”. I have an unhealthy relationship with food. An unhealthy craving and desire. Like Lysa said in her session one video, I crave it more than God. I do. I definitely do find my rest, refuge, peace and comfort in sitting with food. It has become so very upsetting to me and tonight I commit to turning to God and not food. I know it will be so very hard, but honestly, (even though I don’t act Iike it with my food choices) I love God more and trust Him to be my helper. So thank you for this reminder Lysa….”be still and know that I am God.”

  28. Shannon

    This is pretty much what I lived for the 2 1/2 years of finding out about my husband’s infidelity, his leaving me for her, and our year long divorce battle. In the deepest trials, I discovered, no matter how much we think we know of God, it only scratches the surface. When you are holding on to him by the tips of your fingers and you have no strength, nothing, left to fight with, you discover the power and protection of HIS grip on YOU.

    I battled mightily during this time, and things only started to make sense, and my world start to come back together, on the day that I screamed “I CAN’T DO THIS!”.at God at the top of my lungs. I heard the tiniest whisper in my head. It simply said “Finally.” My admission of weakness opened the door for his strength to work.

    People will always have a moment where they fall. God never will.

  29. Jenifer

    Oh Lysa, you and your friend are in my prayers. <3 This verse is one of my favorites and is posted all throughout my home because I regularly need the reminder.

    The bracelets are sold out, but I'm hopeful they will be restocked. I'd love to wear this verse.

  30. Jan Lawrence

    Thank you for sharing this. I am falling apart and needed to see it. If cuffs become available again would you let me know. Just what I need.

  31. Megan Elise

    Just my luck. Sold out. I really needed something like this. Been physically suffering greatly 24/7 for over half a year. Hope you restock soon because wearing a bracelet like this would be a tender reminder to get me through the darkest night of my soul season. For now, I will cling to the resounding echoes of both beauty and truth. Be still and know He is God.

  32. Robin Aguirre

    Dear Lysa,
    I want you to know I’m praying for you and feel your pain. I was recently betrayed by a now ex-friend while my mother was dying – Mom passed 4/18. But my dear Mom comforted me! <3 It was a Gift I received despite the pain. Yet I will never understand the cruelty of that person's desire to hurt me during such a sad time. I don't understand why people do these things as I would never do that to them, not even my worst enemy. I keep reading your U devotional; it helps. And am reading your book Unglued and ordered another to help me get back on the Path. I want you to know you've made a Big Difference in my life, dear Lysa. I pray you find peace – God Bless you! With love, RobinA

  33. jeanie

    Lysa, prayers for you. Thank you for sharing your heart. This Bible verse is one of my favorites and comes to mind often. It helps me to read the other comments, to realize I am not alone, and I hurt for each person. My biggest hurt started 5 years ago with my oldest son. Just when I thought I had experienced enough trials in life, this came to light. No one fully understands the pain I have every day and I can only confide in the Lord. Joyce Meyer’s teaching has helped me to know this is not my whole life, to focus on all the good, and to depend on God to fight my battles and rest in Him. Thanks for sharing!

  34. Gayle montiel

    Thank you Lysa. Your messages are always so timely. I share them also with some women the Lord has given me the pleasure of ministering to each week in Bible study.
    We do need in those moments to step back, be still and to listen to God’s voice. I appreciate you and your willingness to share your life even from the most trying times in your life. This is where life just begins to touch lives, even when we are hurting. He comforts us, and we can comfort. But being still is key, right? Thanks

  35. James Taiwo

    Very thoughtful. I appreciate content such as this which can lead a person to right direction. Thanks.

  36. Lisa

    My friend sent this to me as she knows about our financial struggles and issues of others trying to keep us down by lying against and about us. Mostly due to my husband doing the right thing. I know we say “truth will prevail” but sometimes it seems like the enemy is winning when you’re punished for stopping evil. I thank you so much for your inspiring words of faith. It reminds me that even in the darkness when there seems no hope, there is light and goodness will prevail. We all endure trials and I am reminded here that God is Good Always!

  37. James

    Dear Lysa,
    Re: Rejection
    Many webpage e-mail addresses do not work. I hope this reaches you. I have to share something important and urgent with regarding Mal 4:5 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD:
    Mal 4:6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
    See also Luke 1:17
    Here in south Africa and across the world adopted children and biological parents are searching for one another in their tens of thousands.
    Because God united me and my daughter (who was adopted at birth) after 44 years, I am saying thank you Lord by assisting them free of charge in finding one another.
    I want to share my daughter’s testimony with you.
    Why would you not be interested in writing our book if I feed you all the info free of any charges, but based on Micah’s prophecy.
    I believe such a book — especially pertaining to the said prophecy — would well all over the world.

    If you do decide to write such a book, we ask nothing in return whatsoever. We give it to you as a gift.
    We did write a book in the Afrikaans language but here in South Africa no publisher is interested.
    Only goodness and mercy. — James

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