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Where I Really Fall Short

November 27, 2015

Can I admit something to you on this cold fall day? It’s not pretty. It’s not something I’m proud of. And it’s certainly not something I want highlighted about my life.

But, I must share just in case it might help you.

I struggle at times trusting God with my kids.

There’s just something so hard about this for me. Though I say with my mouth and I posture my attitude to give off the appearance of complete trust, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of fully living like I trust God with my kids, I fall short.

I worry.

I get incredibly anxious.

I make lots of suggestions to God on their behalf.

I try to keep things in their world calm, free of hurt, and on track toward some “best plan” I’ve imagined for them.

It’s like I gather up my people in my arms and tell God, “See? I’ve got it all worked out. Now, if You’ll just bless all this. Don’t mess with it, just bless it. And life will be good.”

I suspect I’m not the only mom who feels this way. So if you can relate, join me over at (in)courage today for the rest of this post by clicking here.

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  1. Laura

    This reminds me of a story by missionary Otto Koenig. He was a missionary to somewhere near Papua, New Guinea, I believe. He really wanted some pineapples, and bought and shipped the small plants to his area. He paid some of the natives to plant the pineapples. He was really excited about having fresh pineapple, and watched them grow with great anticipation. However, as it came near harvest time, the pineapples started disappearing. The missionary became very angry, and employed all sorts of tactics to prevent his pineapples from being stolen, such as buying vicious dogs. Each thing he did ended up creating further problems, such as the mean dogs breeding with wolves. But the biggest problem was he lost his testimony with the people he was trying to reach. The techniques the missionary employed to control the ownership of the pineapples made what he conveyed to the natives about the love of God make no sense to them. And, the people that the missionary had hired to plant the pineapples truly felt the pineapples belonged to them. It was because of some custom of their area. The missionary finally decided that the pineapples didn’t belong to him, or the native people, they belonged to God. And, God could give them to whomever he wanted to. When the missionary released ownership and control of the pineapples to God, it changed the missionary himself into someone who was more Spirit-filled and loving. He ended up reaching the people of that area, as their perception of both him and his God had changed, and at the same time there were produced enough pineapples for him and the native peoples to both have what they wanted. Every time that I want to control something or someone, I end up frustrated and have to say in my mind, “These are not my pineapples!” I have to let go, and lean on the sovereignty of God for my children and my ministry. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him…” Proverbs 3:5,6

  2. Tina

    This could not have come at a better time. It may sound strange as I explain… two weeks ago, I gave birth via c-section to the next love of my life… our little Joseph Connor at 29 weeks gestation.
    God gave me peace of heart and mind when they said it’s time… and this little squeaker of ours… had an amazing first week. Then on Sunday, his little intestines contracted an infection (a very nasty one)… He’s had two surgeries this week to remove pieces of his intestines and has now been told that he has to keep fighting. He has to show he’s not going anywhere. My heart has been shattered and then reglued by God’s love so many times this week that I can only answer, “I’m breathing.” When someone asks how I am. HE, we believe has already shown the surgeon that this little 3 lb 11 Oz little boy is a continuing miracle… I’m a firm believer in this. So now we continue to pray and continue to ‘live’ in this hospital until he is stable… instead of stable critical. And we know our God is watching over us all in this fight.

  3. Margie

    Yep. Me too! I still need to learn how to trusr God with my kids, even when they are adults. Having my daughter out on her own since she was 18 has been a lesson in trust. I hate long distance parenting but have learned to trust God and my daughter as she navigates life. Not easy at all, and honestly sometimes very sad at the loss of the togetherness we had as she grew up.but i have learned that through it all God is faithful.

  4. Jan

    Our family was, a happy, Christian family. We are good people, but God didn’t “save” my son from mental illness, which caused him to take his life. I prayed , and prayed for Curt’s brain to be healed. He healed it His way. We have no control. It’s an illusion, if we do all the right things, we will be spared the Cross. God is in control. I look to the day, I meet Curt, again.

    • Joel

      Hi – I felt that God lead me to this site for some reason. The name of the author came to my mouth a couple days ago, and I know that I heard the name before somewhere. Anyways the article here really spoke to me because I am a father of two girls.
      Also, I feel in my heart that some people reading or commenting have taken an extreme view of not being in control. I believe that is not God’s will for you. God wants you to be in control in the same way Jesus was in control.
      Control in the biblical context is about restraining the created forces. Ultimately the term control is a component of the higher order term of “mastery”. That is where we hurt ourselves by trying to be the master of the universe, even in our own little corner of the world.
      Yet the bible said, “ye are gods”. So, our desire to have mastery and thus control is justified by being made in the image of God. Still this control we have in hand is not as master over God and man, but as a servant.
      Jesus Christ is the one we call Master, so how can we the servant be greater than the master? We cannot be greater than Jesus, and yet Jesus himself said that we will do greater things that He.
      The only way that can be possible is if Jesus is with us. If we are first seeking the Kingdom of God, and acting, even controlling various forces whether inward or outward. We operate in this capacity as a servant leader, servant teacher, servant preacher, servant caretaker, or servant healers.
      So, do not throw off the notion of control, but throw off the notion of serving the created forces instead of the Creator. Having already died to the rule of dark forces and now raised to new life with Jesus, let us serve our Lord Jesus and by His authority proclaim the Kingdom of God over mental illness, over cancer, over poverty, and over broken homes.
      Father in Heaven, help us and comfort us to resist all temptation, deliver your children from the evil one and all manners of sickness, and anoint us into your royal priesthood with power in the Holy Spirit. In Jesus name, Amen.

  5. Chelsea

    Thank you so much for speaking emotions and perspectives so poetically and understandably.

    I begin each morning by reading the daily devotions that you all create on Proverbs 31 Ministries and I cannot thank you enough for your guidance in some of life’s large issues and challenges.

    I am a 22-year-old who has grown up in the church, has made mistakes and will undoubtedly continue to as I get deeper with God and grow closer to Him.

    Your devotions have me crying, laughing, smiling and sometimes doing all at the same time. [Yes my face physically hurts occasionally when I reach the ending of the devotional and I pray to God.]

    Although I love everything the ladies and gentlemen write for Proverbs 31, I feel like you are missing a huge demographic that you could be reaching and who need guidance like you offer.

    Proverbs 31:10-31 talks all about what a wife of noble character looks like. It lists so many characteristics that a Godly woman should work to have such as: fear of the Lord, a demeanor that exudes confidence, a character that brings good not harm to those around her, eager working hands, a giving spirit and so many other qualities and works that give praise to God.

    Your ministry and your writers do a fantastic job of creating relatable devotions for the recently married woman, the senior wife, the new mother, the mother of teens, the wife for while and the brand new mother. But what about the women who are not there yet?

    I am one of these women. 22, an adult (I don’t feel like it, but that’s what they call me) not married, not engaged, I don’t have children, just recently stepped out into the real career world as a journalist and writer. I know there are a lot of women like me out there who are not a wife and mother yet, but are working hard to become a Proverbs 31 woman so when/if that time does come, we have a firm foundation for a healthy relationship with our spouse and our children.

    The work behind being a Proverbs 31 woman should not begin when that ring is placed on your left finger or that second line finally shows. It should start way before that. It should start when your desire for a family and a relationship begin.

    I wish you had a devotion writer who was at this stage of life for the women like me who are in this messy ‘adjusting adult’ stage where we feel almost like its middle school all over again. I would love to see you incorporate devotionals for ladies like me who have different circumstances and situations happening than the married or married with children women, yet are still working on becoming the truly magnificent example of God’s glory provided in Proverbs 31.

    Once again I would like to commend you, your light is shining in so many dark places and changing them forever.

    Chelsea Dicks

  6. Dianne

    It is 2:44am on 12/05. Thank you for sharing this message that I really needed to hear.

  7. P.Selvaraj

    Christians keep proving their faith and pragmatism
    .I just love that!

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