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Her Success Does Not Threaten Mine

March 18, 2015

We have a choice today.

We can look out and see the unlimited, abundant opportunities God has placed before us.

To create. To write. To serve. To sing. To be and become.

Or we can stare at the opportunity of another person and get entangled in the enemy’s lie that everything is scarce.

Scarce opportunities. Scarce supply. Scarce possibilities.

And we start seeing another person’s creations as a threat to our own opportunities.

Several years ago, I remember pouring out all the best words I had through pixelated letters turned pages turned book proposal. I tucked my heart and dreams into a purple Office Max binder (because nothing says “I’m author material!” more than a purple Office Max binder) and hoped for the best.

That summer I was able to place my proposal into the hands of several acquisitions editors. And for each one I handed out, I was later sent a nice but very direct rejection letter. At the same time, other writer friends I had were getting different letters from the publishers…

I’m talking about this more over at (in)courage today and I’d love to have you join in on the conversation. Click here to read the rest of my post.

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  1. Kimberly H.

    I loved this. This is truth we ALL need to hear. Because the enemy wants to not only keep us from cheering one another on, but to also disable us with comparisons.

    If I can be straight up CRAZY honest with you, the day I got the e-mail about your last book coming out, The Best Yes? I put my head down on my kitchen table and I cried. Not weeping. Just that deep ache of feeling small and oh, so insignificant. {Total lies from the enemy. I know.}

    So I went to walk and pray for a little while. Beautiful flowers in bloom kept catching my eye. All different varieties. And then I started thinking on ALL of the very different things I find beautiful – sunsets and dewdrops on intricate spiderwebs and the strength and beauty packed into every muscle of a horse. And I thought about how they are all so different and yet all so beautiful at the same time. The beauty of one doesn’t negate the beauty of another. And then He whispered it to my heart – “Kimberly, be your OWN beautiful. HER beauty doesn’t negate YOUR beauty.”

    Your beauty (and it is beautiful – how you love Him and share Him) doesn’t negate my beauty. I can celebrate you AND simply be beautiful, chosen, purpose-filled me. 🙂

    And there you go. Apparently since I have stopped blogging for now, I am going to leave you a full on post here. 😉

    Blessings, beautiful Lysa!
    Celebrating you and choosing to BE ME today,
    K 🙂

    • Kimberly H.

      Oh, and on a side note – He also told me I cannot ENVY what I have not SOWN. As in, if I want to write a book, I need to sit myself down and write. a. book.

  2. Linda

    This morning I swept up the crunchy dog food that had been spilled on the floor and put it back in the dogs bowl there was little pieces of sand and dirt left behind that I did not want to put in to the dogs bowl so I saw that this was in my life, I gave over the big things and still was a little left to clean up. Thank you for the word today.
    (Those times of being still are good and necessary when your thinking needs to be swept all into one pile. Then it’s much easier to identify treasures to be kept from the trash that needs to be tossed)

  3. Jenni DeWitt

    I love when God speaks a similar message to my heart as He does my sisters’. My post this week — and the intentional shift in my life lately — has been to make those moments of stillness with God a priority, not a luxury. I loved reading how your decision to do the same changed your life.

  4. Deborah Cash

    Dear Lysa,
    I hope you read and see this. I am a 54 year old woman with 2 children, one 33 and the other 12. I have raised both alone. I bought your book, Unglued, months ago when the book store finally had it on sale (yes, as a single mom, “sale” and “clearance” are 2 of my favorite words.) I began reading it months ago at my job and when my friends around me kept finishing books and going to other ones, I could not understand why I couldn’t get through this book. They would laugh at me because I was laughing in so many parts of the book, and when they asked what was so funny, I would say, I think this woman has been watching me and writing my life. So I enjoyed the book, but could not get through it. And then today….I read chapter 9, “The Empty Woman” and I realized why. I realized God had been holding me back because that very chapter was what I needed to hear today in my life. You see, I recently began dating someone that I am crazy about. We get along great, except for 1 thing. A young woman, young enough to be his daughter that he has a “friendship” with. Although he claims there is nothing between them, in my mind, I feel compared constantly to her by him. It hurts, it tears, it steals my joy, and makes me feel worthless so many times that it consumes me. As hard as I try, I can’t make it go away. I couldn’t ever cry about it, it welled inside me so deeply, until today…. when I read this chapter. And once again, it was like you saw my soul, and wrote the words I wanted to say. Finally, someone understood what I felt inside, someone else had dealt with the same type of thing. I wasn’t the only one to feel the pain I held so deeply to, yet wanted so badly to get rid of.
    So thank you Lysa, for having the courage to write the words you did. Today, I began a journal. First, writing down my seeds of creative design…who I am, what I have, and the work I have been given. Second, my possibilities, what my dreams are, and the things I believe God wants me to do. So every time that “it” comes into my life, and I begin to feel seeds of discouragement and comparison beginning to be planted, I am going to pull out my journal and write down my seeds of creative design until I overcome those seeds of not feeling good enough, and I finally understand that if my boyfriend truly believes she is better than me, let him think that way. I know my God created me with a beauty and grace no one else in the world has exactly like mine. She is beautiful in her own way, but I also, am beautiful.

  5. Holly Irwin

    Hi Lysa,
    I’m new to your blog but I’m already loving it and looking forward to reading more! I am going to focus on the third step, “Saying Yes.” It sounds easy but I know it’s not. This book sounds fascinating and I would love to read it. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words with us.


    Thank God for his mercy we don’t have to be in competition with one another but God’s word teaches us to lift each other up.

  7. John Windbigler

    Would you please tell how you define stopping sugar? My daughter gave “Made to Crave” book I have started the action plan. Yes I have lost at least 1000 lbs and gained them back! I weigh 315 the most in my life. I have started the 5 steps. Haven’t mastered the fiber. Where do males go for help? I really like your teaching. Your Brother in Christ. John

  8. Laci Ortiz


    Thank you for being a faithful servant of the Lord, sharing with others about His glory in your life. As women, it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparisons. We must remember that we are all uniquely called to glorify God through different gifts. May we dwell on this truth:

    “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ”. 1 Corinthians 12:12

    Be Encouraged.

    Laci Ortiz

  9. Anne Peterson

    Oh I loved the line you said about scarcity being the devil’s lie! I so appreciate you mentioning that. I have fallen for that lie. I have lived my life in the shadow of it. I absolutely loved this article. Thank you Lysa.

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