All relationships can be difficult at times, but they should not be destructive to our well-being. Learn the difference between a destructive pattern and a difficult season with this free resource, “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May Be Missing in Your Relationships.”

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3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single

February 10, 2015

I remember the hardest day of the week for me when I was single was Sunday. Specifically Sunday right after church.

Many of my other single friends would have plans with their families that day, but not me. My family lived 9 hours away.

So, I’d walk through the parking lot watching young moms ooh and ahh over Sunday school artwork and I’d think, “Their lives seem so blissfully full.”

I’d walk past an older couple holding hands and think, “They are so lucky to have such an easy, breezy life.”

I’d walk past a gal walking arm in arm with her boyfriend and think, “She is so fortunate to feel loved.”

And then I’d get in my car and decide happiness, fulfillment, and contentment were something to hope for in the future, when I found the life I desperately wanted.

Boy, do I wish I could go sit in that car beside my single self and tell her some life-giving truths I now know…

I’m sharing 3 of those truths over at (in)courage today. Click here to read more!

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5 Comments
  1. Jennifer

    Good points. I’d like to be in a relationship, get married, have a family, but I’ve been mostly single for a long time now. I have to say, I am quite okay being single even though I want things to happen (though, I have had my moments). Before my friends started to get married, and they were single with that desire to be in relationship, it was odd for me to see them struggle with it. I hope for young singles today, with the desire for relationship or not, will find their satisfaction in God and what He’s doing in their lives right now. I think any reading your points will be encouraged.

    Reply
  2. Barb

    Lysa – thank you so much for your words today. God is definitely speaking to this heart of mine about my single, middle-age, empty nester season. I battle with loneliness and my expectations of what this life should be that I feel like I don’t live – I exist. I appreciate you writing to these areas of struggle in all of us regardless of marital status.

    Reply
  3. Elva Scot

    Thank you for your message. I especially loved the part about grace.
    I need to think about grace when I think he may not ever love me the way
    I want him to love me. I know who the perfect lover of my soul is but yes,
    I think I have been looking for perfection instead of looking towards grace.

    Reply
  4. Lisa Haines

    Lysa,
    I was just reading your article about “what I wish I knew when single”. You say the question to ask is “is the person who I can give and receive grace from”. Can you please help me or direct me to scriptures that explain what this means? My husband said to me the other night, give me some grace. I really didn’t know what he meant, or how to do it. This probably might seem like a simple thing everything Christian should know, but I am really trying to understand it.
    Thank you!!

    Reply
  5. Virginia Elkins

    Lysa — I wanted to share with you how much we have enjoyed your book “Unglued” so far and this blog post seemed an appropriate place to comment. (Especially with number 3 being to stop expecting perfection!) Our church started a Knit & Crochet Bible Study a few months ago, and your book is our second study — we are only a few chapters in, but are very excited about the concept of imperfect progress!

    Last night we handed out devotionals, and listened to the audio book while we knit or crocheted. I would love to share with you the picture of 15 women, in a circle, creating gifts for donation, with a table of your “Unglued” books in the middle. I took the photo as I thought “This is what it is all about. This is how we become the Proverbs 31 woman. This is how God is knitting us together.” Thank you for being a part of our group! And THANK YOU for being such an encouragement to each of us!

    Reply
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