All relationships can be difficult at times, but they should not be destructive to our well-being. Learn the difference between a destructive pattern and a difficult season with this free resource, “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May Be Missing in Your Relationships.”

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How to Choose People Over Projects

January 30, 2015

We live in an age of extreme multitasking.

But honestly, imagine how crazy rushed we’d be if we only had tasks to do but not people with whom we must pause to connect.

When our to-do lists tug at our attention, we have to remember: the people in our lives need us. We need space to connect and process together. After all, conversational threads are what make up the fabric of relationships.

I have to admit that taking time to slow down for relationships isn’t natural to me. I’m a task girl. I like accomplishing things. I like the thrill of moving forward, creating momentum, and getting stuff done.

But the more I choose to pause and talk and really connect, the more I discover that
giving priority to relationships does something good in my soul. Yes, connecting with those we love is like soul food. It’s not that we don’t have tasks to do, but rather that we don’t fill up with tasks at the risk of starving our relationships.

I want to make sure it’s people, not projects, that occupy the sacred places in my heart.

So let’s stop. Listen. Talk. Process. Walk. Notice. Engage. Compliment. Thank. Hold hands. And just be together.

If you need some help getting intentional with your most treasured relationships, I’ve put together this fun “People Over Projects” Printable Set. Think of it as a relationship to-do list – things you can focus on to make your people smile each week. I’ve already started working on mine!

peopleoverprojects

You can get the printable set by purchasing a copy of my book, The Best Yes, through Proverbs 31 Ministries during our Flash Sale! And the other great part? The Best Yes is being offered for a special price of only $10.99. I love a great deal, so this is a win-win situation.

Click here to purchase your copy of The Best Yes and receive the “People Over Projects” Printable Set for free.

And if you already purchased The Best Yes from Proverbs 31 Ministries, send your receipt to [email protected]. We’ll still send you the free printables. Otherwise, consider taking advantage of this deal by purchasing a copy for a friend. Thank you for helping support Proverbs 31 Ministries and our daily work to reach women for Jesus!

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9 Comments
  1. Nico Smith

    My incredible husband is saved, even knows Christ as his Lord and Savior. Unfortunately, he doesn’t attend church like I do. From what he has told me, he was forced to attend church growing up. The sermons weren’t really engaging and interesting. When he would attend church, he’d sleep through the sermons. I wish my husband would be more open to what God has to offer.
    “Once you’ve taken that first step with God, He will show you other steps to take. He will teach you how to walk in the light of His truth, revelation, and love. Today, pray for one another, that you would depend on God for every step. #FellowshipFriday”~ Stormie Omartian
    Amen! What a wonderful thing to always remember! We should encourage one another to take that very first step in being a Jesus follower. Nothing makes our lives a lot better than developing a wonderful relationship with God. “Ask God to teach you HOW TO WALKi the LIGHT OF HIS truth, revalation, and love.” Amen! What a wonderful quote to ponder over! When we walk in God’s revalation, truth, and love, everything is going to fall completely into place. What God teaches us, we’ll be able to share with those around us.
    “We live in an age of extreme multitasking. But honestly, imagine how crazy rushed we’d be if we only had tasks to do but not people with whom we must pause to connect. When our to-do lists tug at our attention, we have to remember: the people in our lives need us. We need space to connect and process together. After all, conversational threads are what make up the fabric of relationships. I have to admit that taking time to slow down for relationships isn’t natural to me. I’m a task girl. I like accomplishing things. I like the thrill of moving forward, creating momentum, and getting stuff done. But the more I choose to pause and talk and really connect, the more I discover that giving priority to relationships does something good in my soul. Yes, connecting with those we love is like soul food. It’s not that we don’t have tasks to do, but rather that we don’t fill up with tasks at the risk of starving our relationships. I want to make sure it’s people, not projects, that occupy the sacred places in my heart. So let’s stop. Listen. Talk. Process. Walk. Notice. Engage. Compliment. Thank. Hold hands. And just be together. If you need some help getting intentional with your most treasured relationships, I’ve put together this fun “People Over Projects” Printable Set. Think of it as a relationship to-do list – things you can focus on to make your people smile each week. I’ve already started working on mine!”~Lysa TerKeurst
    Amen! How wonderful it is to have a way of showing others what God has been teaching us. We should share God with those around us at all times. The only way to win souls is by interacting with others and getting to know where they may be spiritually.

    Reply
  2. Jenni DeWitt

    As I was reading this, I was thinking of my 5-year-old who said, “Mom, please come play with me!” He’d been playing on his own for a while and I was engrossed in my work. I had to tear myself away from the computer to play with him, but those 10 minutes of play time together we’re food for both our souls. I’m an all-or-nothing woman of extremes, but it’s moments like this that remind me that it doesn’t have to be a huge, extreme shift. I can just give a little more a little more often.

    Reply
  3. Lisa Smith

    How fun! And I want to spend time with Renee too

    Reply
  4. Kristi

    Lysa,

    I’ve been a long time follower of your blog. I remember a few years ago a post you did about being sick, not being able to sleep because of terrible ringing (tinnitus) in your ear. I was curious how it resolved or if you were diagnosed w something. I’ve had this same thing come up and am desperate for some insight. Vertigo a ccompanies it too. I’m a very healthy, just turned 40 exercising mom and this has totally taken me by surprise and my quality of life away.

    God bless you!
    Kristi

    Reply
    • Dana

      Kristi,

      Ask a doctor to look at Meneire’s disease. I have walked with that as part of my journey for years and have learned to manage it easily with the help of a chiropractor. Many of the best ENTs in the DFW area offered no hope, but I went from completely unable to take care of my family to living my previous lifestyle with diet management, exercise, and chiropractic adjustments. God bless you with healing in your search.

      Reply
  5. Terri Mccoy

    I love spending time with my family, but it’s hard to know what to do with an 18 year old boy and 15 year old boy. The. Their conversation consist of yes, no, huh, I don’t know. Also spending time with their father really needs a facelift. Our time is usually in front of tv, he’s on computer and I’m reading or watching tv.

    Help! Any ideas?

    Reply
  6. Angie Spinelli

    God is so good at reaffirming what we are supposed to do in life! As I woke up this morning I was thinking what a blessing it is to be able to connect with people and then I read this!!

    Reply
  7. Lisa Singleterry

    Lysa,
    After hearing you speak at WOF in Portland, I felt drawn to read The Best Yes. The entire book inspired me, but particularly the part about taking inventory of your time and finding those lost hours to do what God has put in you to do. I am a music teacher, but once upon a time I was also an aspiring composer. However, having 2 young daughters, a full time teaching job, a husband who is worship pastor at our church, and all the church responsibilities that go with this, I had gotten REALLY far from that passion from my younger years. As I took the time inventory, I discovered those free hours and decided to devote every Thursday afternoon (after school) to music composition. I don’t know exactly what I expected from this time, but what happened was nothing short of miraculous. God literally laid a song completely on my heart. It was like He poured it into my soul and I just had to write it down (I almost couldn’t write it down fast enough). I shared the song with my husband and he couldn’t get the worship band to learn it fast enough. We “premiered” the song today at our church, and I can’t tell you how many people were brought to tears or shared that they were brought to a place of intimate worship with our Lord. All because I captured those lost hours and let God do His work in and through me. Since writing that first song in early January, God has led me to write 4 others and I continue to take captive those hours each Thursday to do what He has called me to do. I thank you so much for the inspiration you provided me (and so many others). I know you are a very busy lady, but I wanted to share with you a (very rough) recording of my song, in case you were interested in hearing it. God bless you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYd8ls6mklQ

    Reply
  8. Linda

    Is it still possible to get the printable of People over projects.
    It sounds interesting and might help me to relate to people better.

    Reply
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