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5 Things to Consider Before Posting Online

January 9, 2015

Has your mouth ever gotten you in a tangled-up mess?

Or have you ever been deeply wounded because of the words of others?

I’d have to say yes to both of these.

But thank goodness I’m not alone – my friend, Karen Ehman, just wrote a fantastic book that tackles the hard subjects of gossip, speaking the truth in love, and the power of our words from a biblical standpoint. She’s guest posting today to give us some tips on how to control our tongue (and fingertips) online and through social media. Take it away, Karen…

I still remember the day I got a Facebook page back in 2007. I am pretty much a foreigner in the land of all things techie, but my kids insisted one day that I just could not be a cool mom unless I had a Facebook page.

At first, Facebook was fun. But then one day as I walked past the den, I heard my daughter hollering at the computer screen. “What? Are you kidding me right now? That’s a lie!”

I popped my head into the room to inquire about what had upset my daughter so much. She invited me to look at her friend’s Facebook page. They were both members of a sports team, and a third girl, also a member, was on her friend’s page complaining about the team’s coach. The comments back and forth became sharper and more concerning. Pretty soon they were in an all-out Facebook fight. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It just strikes me as strange that friends can argue online or complete strangers can engage in a hearty debate right there on my blinking screen for all the world to see.

Although the Bible was written long before the computer age, I am convinced the truths of Scripture that address how we use our words in speech applies equally to how we use our words online and on social media. In fact, sometimes it’s the online words that give us the most trouble. Unsolicited opinion-slinging. Snark. Or even worse.

There is just something empowering about saying what you really think while hiding behind a computer screen.

Maybe we feel courageous because the person we’re addressing isn’t physically present. Or perhaps going along with the crowd makes it easy to speak harshly. Whatever it is, I have witnessed many people say things in cyberspace I doubt they would ever say in person. Sometimes the keyboard really does bring out the horrible in us.

So, if we want to honor God with what we say in cyberspace, what are the guidelines we should follow? Here are 5 things to consider before posting online:

1. Pray Before You Post
If we spend time ingesting God’s Truth each day before we switch on the computer, we might not write things that are unkind or hurtful. At the very least, we should whisper a prayer before we post, asking the Holy Spirit to tap on our hearts if we are tempted to post anything online that would not glorify Him.

2. Imagine the Recipient Sitting Next to You
The Internet is so impersonal. But if a flesh-and-blood person were sitting next to us with eyes we could look into, perhaps we would be more careful. Before you post, ask yourself if you would say things differently if the person to whom you’re writing were actually sitting next to you.

3. Remember: When You’re Online, You’re Also on Stage
Unless we send a private message, our online words are available for others to see. If I say something in person to a friend and am later convicted I was wrong, I can go back to my friend and apologize. However, if I post something on social media or comment on a blog and later want to retract it, I have no way to chase down all of the people who might have seen the original comment. Just this fact alone should cause us to really weigh our words before we type them out.

4. Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand
If friends on Facebook are hashing through a hot-button issue of the day, do you have any expertise in the area, or are you only slinging an underinformed opinion? We can’t always be an expert on every topic at hand, so when we aren’t, we might do well to refrain from commenting at all.

5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace
Our words must glorify God and not just exalt our own opinions. Here is a great guideline from Scripture: “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5–6).

Jot down these questions on a sticky note and post it near the computer as a reminder to ask:

• Is this comment wise?
• Will writing this comment help me display God’s love to outsiders?
• Is this comment full of grace?
• Have I asked God if this is the best response?

If you’ve ever said, typed, texted, or posted words that were permanently painful because you were temporarily ticked off, I understand. That’s why I wrote my new book, Keep It Shut: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing At All. Click here to purchase your copy and get a 10-day devotional as a FREE gift!

Today I’m giving away 5 signed copies of Keep It Shut! To be entered to win, leave a comment below with one of the 5 rules that you’re going to implement this week as you post online.

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413 Comments
  1. Chelsey

    Going forward I am always going to pray before I post. What wonderful insight thank you so much for writing this book. I look forward to reading it, Karen.

    Reply
  2. Rachel

    I am interested in learning how to change the habit of gossiping. I would love to read this book and improve my speech.

    Reply
  3. Karen

    I’m going to remember that when I post online, I’m on a stage. Everyone can see anything that’s posted in public, and if I say the wrong thing it’s going to be impossible to make it right.

    Reply
  4. Carol G.

    I’m not exactly sure which one I will implement this week. I probably have to be mindful of each of them. I’ve been warned from my hubby about #3. Getting more involved in ministry in a larger venue of sorts. (As admim for the woman who has taken on the leadership role of national women’s director of our church organization.) One son was being particularly vexing,on Facebook. I really wanted to give him a good scolding. Lol. Hubby reminded me that I need to be a bit more cautious about what I put out there on social media. So the stage one definitely.
    But also the last one, about being qualified/needing to chime in on the discussion. I find myself typing a response and then erasing it . Because, really, just because the conversation was started, doesn’t mean that I always have to contribute. Lpl
    Great giveaway! Looking forward to this book.

    Reply
  5. Karla L

    I am going to work on #5!

    Reply
  6. Lorlie Williams-Marschall

    Hi Lysa,

    I am going to imagine that the recipient of my post is sitting next to me.
    Seeing that we live in an age of social media, we have to be conscious of how we would make others feel if our comments were made face to face instead of “impersonal” posts online. We need to all remember that we are dealing with human beings either online or in person.
    Thanks for your blogs.

    Reply
  7. Kirsten

    I rarely post anything online, more because of a lack of time than opinion 🙂 But I think I could use more practice with Rules 1 & 5 just in regular conversation with people, to pray before I say whatever’s on my mind and to speak with grace.

    Reply
  8. janet

    Have I asked God if this is the best response….In my own wordy way and love of books and the written word I am guilty of being wordy and not praying over my responses

    Reply
  9. Kristin Musacchio

    Definitely rule 1!! I always pray before making decisions and before speaking to my loved ones, but I need to pray before I post online too. This way I can ensure that I am saying the right thing to the right people and making a positive impact on those around me. Love this book!!

    Reply
  10. Lori

    Great post! One we should all take to heart and print these rules off and keep close. 🙂 I am going to say 4. Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand. I know I’ve been guilty of writing about things I really don’t know about…would actually say I was quite ignorant about. 🙂

    Reply
  11. Richelle

    Hi lysa,
    I’m commenting here because I don’t know how else to reach you. I saw yesterday a post from proverbs ministries about God fulfilling his promises to her in luke 1:45. My question is: how do you know what’s a promise from God? I have been struggling for 1.5 years with infertility and I want to believe God will give me a baby, but I don’t if he will or if that counts as a promise to me. Can you please give me some guidance on the issue?
    I really need it,
    Thanks
    Richelle

    Reply
  12. Stephanie Hanes

    My mom always told us to never post anything online we wouldn’t want our grandma to read…and now my grandma is on facebook and actively comments on my posts. 🙂 I always try to follow 5 and I always think about my audience – because there are so many different people who read my posts and I never want to post anything that would hurt anyone. I think #2 is a really good idea and something I don’t always think about as easily, because posting online is always easier than saying something in person. But if I wouldn’t have the guts to say it in person, I shouldn’t be saying it online.

    Reply
  13. Gina W.

    I will remember to lace my words with Grace.

    Great article today.

    God bless ❤

    Reply
  14. Laurie baker

    I will ask myself ” is my comment full of grace?”
    I hope I win! I would love to read the book!
    Thanks

    Reply
  15. Liz c

    I will pray before I post! I will pray and spend time in Gods word before I turn on my computer! Great advice! Thank you!

    Reply
  16. Emily

    I’m going to think before I speak — #5

    Reply
  17. Cathlina Roberts

    Love this! I definitely think #4 is a rule I need to implement. It is one thing to just say something, but I need to understand if what I am saying is adding value and not just empty words.

    Reply
  18. Jennifer D.

    I need to work on #5, speaking with more grace. This is something I need to work on face to face and online.

    Reply
  19. Elaine

    I am leaning towards #5. Say things with grace and not our own opinion and go by Colossians 4:5-6; let your conversations be full of grace. Amen

    Reply
  20. Amy Dingmann

    #1, for sure. I recently posted on my page about how great it would be to have an app that makes you wait a full minute before responding to something that is said or posted. Taking that minute to pray about how to respond is even better. 🙂

    Reply
  21. Kim A.

    I usually am carefully before posting or sending an email. I really need to work on 1 & 5 daily when I’m speaking to people. I’m so excited about this OBS.

    Reply
  22. Fay

    May my words be laced with grace, whether written or spoken.

    Reply
  23. Kiva

    Rule #5 is my goal for online and in-person communication.

    Reply
  24. Heather @ My Overflowing Cup

    This is excellent advice! We have a tremendous responsibility to use our words wisely, especially on the internet. #1 and #2 are my favorites, but they are all words of wisdom. Thanks so much, Karen and Lysa, for sharing. May the words of our keyboards be acceptable in His sight – always! Pinning.

    Reply
  25. Kathryn

    I had a disagreement with a personal friend on fb this week. While the heat of the disagreement was in private message I probably wouldn’t have said some things the way I did if we were discussing it in person….so I want to remember not to say anything unless I would say it to that person face to face.

    Reply
  26. Theresa

    I have specifically chosen not to have a Facebook account due to the amount of negative, unnecessary commenting and not wanting to get pulled in by it, not to mention the private information people post for the public, as if asking to be the victim of gossip. Number 5 hit home for me. Make the MOST of every opportunity (be intentional) and let the conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt (productive, helpful, uplifting), not just talking for the sake of talking or even being indifferent. Thanks so much for the suggestions and reminders!

    Reply
  27. Loretta Wheeler

    I think rule 1 and 2 are something I’m going to work on this week. I think we don’t take the time out to our pray when we are upset and just post away. The amount of time we think and dwell on it I think we need to a pend the same amount praying about it to.

    Reply
  28. Carol

    I would stop & pray 1st!!! Then consider if I would say this when they are physically right next to me. Also, if I have the expertise or right to comment. I usually don’t stop & think before I speak. I say what’s right on my mind, & sometimes get in trouble!

    Reply
  29. Dee Dee

    Lysa and Karen, what wonderful posts that need to go viral to change social media for the better! The two rules that I will implement are #1 and #5. If I pray before I post then my words will be laced with grace for God’s glory!

    Reply
  30. Michelle B

    I think #1 and #2 are things I really want to try and implement this year. Thank you for this.

    Reply
  31. Holly

    Rule #5 is my goal for posting online.

    Reply
  32. Kaysha

    This devotion has to be God speaking. Earlier today I posted a comment on my Face book page that was not “full of grace”. I was temporarily upset by the turn of events of my day. I inadvertly offended someone, and I now feel even more terrible. I did not “stop to pray”, before posting, which would have surely prevented what could be a lasting effect on said individual. I tried to explain, but the damage is done. And while we are all human, we can and should try to not make mistakes. I know this devotion is God’s gentle reminder to me personally to keep my eyes on Him.

    Reply
  33. Christine

    5. Let my comments be laced with Grace!!

    Reply
  34. Latrelle

    I’m going to strive to make ALL my comments full of grace ! I would love to read your book “Keep it Shut”.

    Reply
  35. Janine

    I am going to focus on spending time with God before getting online and praying before posting.

    Reply
  36. Dndeen

    Thank you Lysa for such wisdom! Very wise words!!!

    Reply
    • Dndeen

      Thank you Lysa for such wisdom! Very wise words to consider!

      Reply
  37. Dawn Briley Lee

    I could definitely benefit from reading and implementing these rules and the book. I believe it will be a great tool for me, not just for posting – but using each and everyday. It will probably be good for me to stop, pause and inspect what I expect from myself to give to others. As I grow, I am being reminded that every conversation I have and the words that I use should be uplifting not leaving them in question about me or my values in some way. It’s more important today then ever before, to watch the words of our mouth, my actions, even my tone… We have a 18 month old and like everyone else I am on stage all day everywhere – we all are – as Christians and witnesses for The Lord in our mission fields. I hope it will truly help me most with those I impact on a daily basis, starting with myself, then my husband and children and then carry on throughout my day and hopefully others in some way… Oh how I hope I hope I hope I could get a copy… Thank you all for all that you do for Women each and everyday! You may not realize it in your everyday tasks – but EACH OF YOU MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF SOOO MANY WOMEN!!!! Thank you for being vessels for The Lord and allowing The Lord to use you as His MIGHTY TOOLS!!!

    Reply
  38. Kristi

    Amen, Great Advice for Posting online!!

    Prayers Go Up as Blessings Come Down!!

    Love in Jesus, YSIC o/

    Kristi

    Reply
  39. Kathy

    I am going to remind myself to pray before each post.

    Reply
  40. Ashley

    laced with grace! My one word for the year is grace, so this rule really spoke to me.

    Reply
  41. Lawana

    Definitely number three. Got caught up in just such a situation the other day!
    3. Remember: When You’re Online, You’re Also on Stage

    Reply
  42. Fannie Goldsmith

    I am thankful that God has worked on me over the years to make my words encouraging to others. I too have had times when I should have kept my mouth shut but have been unable to undo some of my meanness. I am so thankful that God has forgiven me and I wish I could ask certain people to forgive me. This week I will pray for wisdom before I speak or post on social media. The other four are things I hope I can do better at with God’s help. Your book sounds like one I need To read.

    Reply
  43. Debbie

    I would say definitely #3….that anything I post is out there for anyone and everyone to see. If I don’t want it seen by everyone than I don’t post it.

    Reply
  44. Amber

    What great advice! Definitely an eye opener!
    I definitely need to work more on #1 & #5!

    Reply
  45. Adrienne

    When I speak to let my words be seasoned with grace! What a great reminder of just how powerful our words can be.

    Reply
  46. Elaine Segstro

    “Pray before you post” and let your “post be laced with grace”. I don’t have a Facebook page, but I do send emails. When I’m not sure about sending something, I don’t put the person’s name down, in case I click “send” by mistake. Oh how our words can wound, BUT also build up.

    Reply
  47. Andrea

    #5 – we could all give & use a little more grace. 🙂

    Reply
  48. Jennifer Sofie

    I am gonna let my wordsbe full of grace towards evereveryone. If its not nice or uplifting I am not going to say it

    Reply
  49. Marianne

    Amen,I have also seen first hand how innocent words can be distorted or misunderstood by others! We need to be careful in what we write and also how we interpret what others write!

    Reply
  50. Janet

    I think I might need all of them. I have a quick reply problem and then think later… I really need all of this.. I really need this study.

    Reply
  51. Billi Walker

    This is really great advice. I sometimes struggle with pausing before posting from a place of hurt, especially when it involves my children. I think #2 is a really great reminder before posting. If I wouldn’t say it face to face, then I really shouldn’t be brave enough to post it either. And, #1 pray before I post, so that I will not hurt someone from my post and then later regret what I have done.

    Reply
  52. Krystal

    Pray first.

    Reply
  53. JennyBC

    I think #3 is a good one for me to remember. I rarely post and even more so, purposely shut FB down when I am angry or upset. But to think about the fact that you cannot know all who see your comments is enough to get me to make sure I don’t speak publicly to things I find hurtful, emotionally charged or in anyway disparaging to someone else. Great post!

    Reply
  54. Brittany Cardell

    Definitely would be to speak with grace! Found myself in this very dilemma at work in regards to a comment I made with no intention of calling someone else, but that’s exactly what happened. I felt awful and was thankful for the constructive criticism that followed!

    Reply
  55. Sherri Sliva

    I’m thankful that I was raised to find the positive in all things. I just wish others would think and pray before they speak. I pray that I always think of others before I speak.

    Reply
  56. Amy McCollister

    Will writing this comment help me display God’s love to outsiders?

    I think this is primary for me. Not just on Facebook. But in text. On my blog. And anywhere else I’m interacting with others. If I’m not reflecting God’s love onto people then I need to take a hard look at where I’ve strayed or what I need to do to change that.

    Reply
  57. Donna

    I’m going to use rule #1. Speaking to God and having the Holy Spirit guide me, is a sure fire way to keep from posting anything that could be misinterpreted or hurtful to others!! Thank You for these words of wisdom Karen, they REALLY spoke to me!! God Bless!

    Reply
  58. Amy

    Excellent post!!! I work and have a family. Both require daily interactions that require grace and prayer. Often that is forgotten when online…praying over my typed words is an afterthought….exhibiting grace through a computer is that possible?? Of course!! Thank you for your words gently, graciously reminding us all.

    Reply
  59. Ashley L

    I would say 1 and 3. I believe we should watch what we say. The internet can be a very hurtful place, especially facebook. I really want this book!

    Reply
  60. Kim

    I want to apply Pray before you post! This past 9 months has been especially hard using social media. I gained custody of my great nephew because his mom is a drug addict. The emotional roller coaster was quite exhausting! A part of me wanted to bash her on Facebook. But then I’d type it out and think how horrible that makes me look! I’d clear it out & not post it because I should pray more words over it then I was speaking or in this case typing.

    Reply
  61. paige

    I could definitely focus and work on number 5.

    Reply
  62. Pam

    This is all good advice, I do not like posting for all to see, 4 do I know that it is true or just gossip.

    Reply
  63. Kelsey Halverson

    I love this! I plan to think more about if I’ve asked God if it is the best response. 🙂

    Reply
  64. Jennifer

    *When you speak, let your speech be laced with grace.

    Although I have never engaged in a heated argument online, I think this is a valuable lesson to use everywhere. We are so quick to speak with our emotions when we have been hurt or betrayed. If we can take just a few seconds to remember this one thing, it could save us a lot of embarrassment and guilt in the future. Every morning before I begin my day I ask God to put his hand gently over my mouth so that no words from the flesh can come out. I only want HIS words to be heard by others not my own. I also ask him to fill me with the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit, so that the actions that I make throughout the day with others are only ones that are filled with grace and bring glory to His kingdom.

    Reply
  65. Heather

    Rule number 4 “Have you earned the right to address the subject at hand” it’s so easy to get caught up in just sharing opinions

    Reply
  66. Kris-Ann

    Number 5 for sure! I really need to practice When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced With Grace!

    Reply
  67. Amber Owen

    Working on:Asking God if this is the best response:A lot times I don’t give myself time to reflect and step back instead I leap forward out of anger and hurt and therefore go out in revenge!Love the saying,”How others treat you is no reflection on yourself,but how you react to it is a direct reflection of yourself!”
    I can’t change what they say/do but I can change how I react to it!Def have to work on this one

    Reply
  68. Kim

    #5 I need my speech to be laced with grace. Sometimes I can be quick to comment before thinking what I should say. I want to give God the honor and Glory more each day. I know I’m not perfect but through His Grace and I can be made perfect.

    Reply
  69. mmauldin7@gmail.com

    #5~I’m too up front and my honesty can be taken as flippant. My hearts desire is to extend the mercy and grace of Jesus, just as He did for us… Some days I fail miserably! Thanks for the opportunity to win your book…

    Reply
  70. Chelsea

    I don’t post very often online, but remembering rule #2 will help me to improve my conversations. Imagining the person I’m talking about actually being in the room will definitely help me to reconsider my words. I’ve never thought of it that way. Thank you!

    Reply
  71. Shawn Glover

    # 3 When you’re online you’re also on stage.

    Reply
  72. Victoria

    I definitely find myself doing #4. Sometimes I start to write, or fully write, my comment, but then I think that I don’t really know enough about it. I have my opinion and a little knowledge, but not enough to insert myself into that debate. I couple that with #2, because I imagine what if this debate was in person, would I be as bold to make my comment? If it’s a no, I delete the comment and leave the page and keep my thoughts to myself.

    This week I would definitely like to remember #1 and #3. I need to be aware that whatever I post, wherever, it is on stage for the world to see. Do I want everyone to know this? Do I feel confident enough to express this to everyone or just some people? Basically, would I feel comfortable standing on stage and saying these things? And, along with that, I need to get in the habit of praying before I post something significant, or anything at all. Is this going to offend somebody? How is this going to come across? Is it appropriate? I have in the past posted something that I knew would offend someone and did it anyway. I regret that and wished I would have listened to the Holy Spirit. But I move on, and my goal is to pray before posting, retreat if the Holy Spirit leads me to, and remember that what I say is for all to see.

    Thanks for this post, it was very encouraging and insightful! I will keep these tips in mind. I look forward to reading your book also!

    Reply
  73. Amanda Harvey

    #2 for sure….. I’ve never really thought about it. I need to ask myself would I actually say this to the person in person. How would they feel or react? How would I feel or react if someone said that to me? I’ve never really thought that I was hiding behind the screen but I actually am and it stops today. I will start asking myself these questions. Thank you for your words and teaching me!!

    Reply
  74. Amanda

    #1 Pray before I post!!!

    Reply
  75. Kelly Perry

    I think #4 is a very important one “Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand”. I know sometimes it is hard to refrain for throwing in your two cents especially about something you feel passionate about but just because we have an opinion about something or we think a certain way doesn’t mean we are right. I believe these are opportunities for us to listen and learn.

    Reply
  76. Michelle Young

    This book is exactly what my husband and I need right now!

    Reply
  77. Christina

    I try to consider the impact of each thing I post on social media, though I know that I can’t please everyone. I try to stay positive in my posts. I don’t post complaints for everyone to jump on the complaining bandwagon with me. I would rather post things that make people laugh, or that build people up.

    #5 resonates with me big time…

    Reply
  78. Jennifer in NE FL

    #1 should be the one I focus on, as I feel stepping back from the keyboard to pray before posting would be the most beneficial to me. I always re-read what I write before clicking “post” as my mind and fingers don’t always work together (ha-ha). Thank you for the blog post as it is most helpful in this techie age 🙂

    Reply
  79. Jennifer M

    This came at the perfect time, I desperately need to put in practice to pray before posting, and making sure that what I do post, glorifies God! I learned a lesson this week already to SHUT MY MOUTH! Looking forward to this much needed bible study!

    Reply
  80. Carol Dye

    I’m going to ask myself if I have the right to address the subject at hand. I need to remember because I can read it and have an opinion about what I’m reading doesn’t mean I have a right to join the discussion.

    Reply
  81. Paige S

    I can definitely work on all of these but #5 really spoke to me. Thank you for this post!

    Reply
  82. Wendy

    When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace…sometimes with friends I get a sarcastic. They know this about me, but like another rule mentioned, its a stage. Friends of friends may not know I’m being sarcastic (and I’ve had this happen) so I need to make sure my speech is only laced in grace.

    Reply
  83. Brenda

    5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace. This is the rule I would work on. I want my words to bring glory to God and not tear others down. Though I fail in this area often.

    Reply
  84. Missy B

    God, help my comments to be

    Reply
  85. Missy B

    Help my comments to be full of grace!

    Reply
  86. Heather

    I really love the idea of prayer before posting. I try to be careful with my online activiites and words, and that is a great tool to help me do that even more. Thank you!

    Reply
  87. Berenise Fernandez

    As a receptionist, I am always quick to judge a situation when in reality I should be reluctant to share my opinion with my co-workers. I will definately practice rule #5, and become compassionate with my neighbors.

    Reply
  88. Al

    Psalm 141:3.Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

    I have this at my desk at work but need to tattoo it on my body. 🙂

    Reply
  89. eleanor

    ihave read & will adhere to all 5 rules before i post on facebook and twitter Thanks Lysa for posting

    Reply
  90. Candace Threatt

    #1- Pray before I post. When I update my status, it’s what “I’ve” got on my mind to share, but I need to stop and let God show me what my friends need to hear.

    Reply
  91. Anita

    #2 ~ Imagining the recipient sitting next to me is the one that I will seek to use. If I could go back about five years and implement this one, I would not have severely damaged my, once extremely close, relationship with my brother. It’s heartbreaking.

    Reply
  92. Alicia Keys

    I like number 4 about earning the right to post.

    Reply
  93. Melody

    Oh boy! I think that all five are ones for me to work on but, remembering to recognize that I don’t need to always comment online or in real life and to always have gracious speech in written and spoken word. I am a work in progress! Thanks for the reminders!!

    Reply
  94. Kristen

    I definitely should work on praying before posting and even in conversations. I could also work on #4. I sometimes give me opinion and it can come across that I know more about the topic.

    Reply
  95. Edwina Thompson

    I will be focusing on lacing my words with grace. As my stress level rises at work, I tend to get a little snippy, then have to go back and apologize for my sassiness.
    Grace, grace, grace!

    Reply
  96. Laura Epstein

    #3 let grace rule!

    Reply
  97. Christie bosley

    #5!!!

    Reply
  98. Scoop

    I need to work on #1. I often follow the Holy Spirit as he prods my heart but I don’t necessarily stop to actually pray about what I post most of the time.

    Reply
  99. Karen

    I’d consider #4, because I feel braver addressing a topic with someone I don’t know. I try to be respectful to everyone, but sometimes if I feel like someone I don’t know personally is in the wrong, I will push my views a little harder, than I would with a friend.

    Reply
  100. Ashley

    #2; imagine the recipient sitting next to me…I Know how empowering the Internet makes me feel…sometimes it empowers me to be rude and unkind and say things I never would say face to face. I hope not to forget this helpful hint in the future! Would love to win this book!

    Reply
  101. Jessica

    I always do #1 when writing and posting on mu blog, but reading this post made me realize I need to do it more when posting anything online – facebook statuses, comments, pics – even “little” things like those can impact people, for good or bad.

    Reply
  102. Robin

    I very rarely post online. I pick #5.

    Reply
  103. Laurie C

    “Let your speech be laced with grace”…love it!!

    Reply
  104. Debbie

    I’m very aware that my nieces daughter in law and younger women friends are all seeing everything I post online and I am determined to set an example by how I live my life in every area. I never post a comment when I’m in a bad mood. Haha I walk away, pray and ask myself if there’s anything life giving I can add to the conversation. My biggest challenge is with rule #5. That’s a priority for me these. Grace in my words!

    Reply
  105. Mindy

    I want to focus on, is my speech laced with grace.

    Reply
  106. Kristen

    #5-I’m going to try to reflect grace in my words. In the past I’ve definitely spoken without thinking! I just blurt out my blunt comments. It’s something God has been working in me- thinking and processing before speaking.

    Reply
  107. Elizabeth Welsh

    Our words can do such damage to another’s self-esteem. When speaking, think about being kind and truly applying the Golden Rule. You can’t go wrong!

    Reply
  108. Tracy

    I actually demolished a friendship by doing this very thing. My emotions took hold of my otherwise controlled self and I truly ruined our friendship. Every attempt at restoration failed….now I live with regret. Big lessons learned, but not without a hefty price. Sad.

    Reply
  109. Yolanda

    This week I will implement rule #4. However, if I am asked to speak of such a matter that I do not have much of an expertise on, I will follow rule #5 and make sure that I speak with grace and lavish love.

    Reply
  110. Jaydnn

    I will do my best #2 and #5. Whether it’s online or not online.

    Reply
  111. Melissa

    I really need to step back and consider if I am informed enough about a subject to be of help to anyone before I post. Thank you for the great advice!

    Reply
  112. Latasha

    #5 definitely…. Thinking too before I speak so I will say the right things

    Reply
  113. Bailey

    Wow, all of these! All these apply not only in social media but everyday life-for me. The one that speaks out tonight would be number 4 & 5. ( my daughter and I had a “talk” and she called me out- and I thought I thought to myself “Have I earned the right to speak”?
    And after something like that to let your words be laced with grace is very hard, but God showed me a few things and opened my heart.

    Reply
  114. Melissa

    I will be more aware if my comments display God’s love to others. Thank you for this post!

    Reply
  115. Bonida Evans

    This reminds me how often I pray for God to put His hand over my mouth if He knows I am going to say the wrong thing! So I guess I would pick #1

    I have been on both sides…said the wrong thing and had something hurtful said to me..the other issue we need to remember is NOT to repeat everything you hear..work at not being a gossip

    Reply
  116. Jen M

    I need to work on number 5 – lacing my words with grace. So hard to do sometimes – especially when others have said hurtful things.

    Reply
  117. Brandi

    #5 certainly spoke to me. Will be asking myself some of those sticky-note questions while remembering Colossians 4:5-6.

    Reply
  118. Gina

    #1 Pray before I post, speak or reach out….

    Reply
  119. carolee

    #5 is so good to remember! I don’t usual post but my mouth can get ahead of me! Thanks for these reminders!

    Reply
  120. Naomi Gillespie

    I am going to go with #1 praying before i post online.

    Reply
  121. Tara

    Such great advice! I think#5 hit be square between the eyes though! Let my words be seasoned with grace…..they often are not. Something I am trying to work on in 2015!

    Reply
  122. Cynthia

    Great advice!

    #2. Imagine the Recipient Sitting Next to You

    When someone sits next to you, you have to look them in the eye. This makes it more human.

    Reply
  123. Kristie cheyne

    I think imagining the person sitting next to you is a great idea.It makes conversation more personal and I would be less likely to say the wrong thing.

    Reply
  124. Rita

    All good advice! I think if I remember to do #1 to pray before posting, the others will be followed as a result of that.

    Reply
  125. Tisha Ploense

    Number 2. Wow. Powerful. I want to read this book so bad.

    Reply
  126. Cindy

    I need to always let what I say be seasoned with grace. Wow that is an amazing goal to have. What a challenge for me.

    Reply
  127. kristan

    All five of them are very important not only on social media but in very day life . I would say the one that really stands out to me is #1. Thank you for this post today, I really needed it ytoday

    Reply
  128. Angela

    I try to only post positive and encouraging words. I definitely want to get into the practice of praying not only before I post but before I even turn on the computer! I want to be covered so that somebody’s negativity doesn’t steal my joy!

    Reply
  129. kristan

    All five of them are very important not only on social media but in very day life . I would say the one that really stands out to me is #1. Thank you for this post today, I really needed it today

    Reply
  130. Donna

    I always try to remember to ask if what I am going to say is true, is it kind and is it necessary. An added prayer to help my judgment would be perfect! Thank you for writing this book, I can’t wait to read it!!

    Reply
  131. Jaclyn

    I would love a copy! God has been working on me and words a lot in the past year and I would love to read the book so I can do a women’s study on it!

    Reply
  132. Elaine

    Is this comment full of grace? I also think all five rules are equally important.

    Reply
  133. shari Smith

    Sometimes I just need to remember to. Stay quiet…I don’t have to comment on everything.

    Reply
  134. Laura Duenow

    I am going to practice #1. I have a job where I have to respond to people that have asked for assistance via email. Sometimes I am not sure of the right things to say and I want to make sure that I convey the right message. There have been times where I have stopped in the middle of my email message and said a prayer asking for Him to show me what he would like me to say and I have found that I have much more success in conveying the message just right. But I would like to do this more often and I don’t always remember to. I would love to read your book. I think it would help me even more in my job-to have more if my words seasoned with grace.

    Reply
  135. Shannon

    Number #5 online and in life!

    Reply
  136. Ashley Vanhook

    I am going to apply rule # 5 to my online and daily face to face communication with others. Glad I came across this on Facebook!

    Reply
  137. Beth Doucet

    Rules 12&5 really struck a chord with me. Praying before you type seems to be a very smart thing. Asking for the Holy Spirit to guide you in your speech and thought process could make all the difference in the world. Then just imagine if the person were sitting next to you, would you say the same thing or would you phrase it in a more generous spirit. Let yourself get out of the way, let the person you are speaking to see no one other than Christ and that you are trying to help and not condemning them with your speech. This is going to be a good class.

    Reply
  138. Allison

    Pray before you post…. Also pray before you speak. I’m practicing this asking God to guide my conversations and posts in the way He sees fit.

    Reply
  139. Melody

    Helpful post. My question is knowing how much to share in regards to your children. The one thing that draws me to your blog and your books is your authenticity. The same with Vicki Courtney and especially her most recent book “Move On” in which she shares openly about her own family mess ups with discretion and tact. I struggle at times in my posts (Facebook and blogging) to know if I’m violating their privacy – I know the subject matter and how it’s communicated is everything. I’m talking about mess-ups and life issues – not shared in the moment but down the road some. But still…..what’s the guideline for sharing about your family for the purpose of helping others while still respecting your family?

    Reply
  140. Mary Tullila

    Laced with grace….and might I add one…choke it down and wrestle like Jacob did.

    Reply
  141. Kim s

    I do not have a Facebook page or the other stuff offer online but I do send out emails to friends & I text. So I would have to say 1 & 5.

    Reply
  142. Lisa Guerra

    I love both the suggestions of praying before posting and also asking the question of is this message full of grace and honoring God and not just spewing my own opinion. Wondeful advice!

    Reply
  143. Jennifer C.

    Remember: When You’re Online, You’re Also on Stage

    Reply
  144. Julie Davis

    Pray before you post! So good and I cannot wait to read the book!

    Reply
  145. Mary Ann Bell

    Pray before posting and those words be laced with grace.

    Reply
  146. Cassie

    #1 for sure. I definitely need to pray more before speaking/typing! Thanks for this wisdom.

    Reply
    • Nico Smith

      I ♥ encouraging others, whether in spoken or written communication. I’m always saying something positive in response to devotions on http://www.incourage.me, http://www.proverbs31.org, incourage, and Proverbs 31 Ministries’ facebook pages. I’m always getting positive feedback to what I write in reply to each day’s devotion’s. nothing’s more wonderful than encouraging someone else through the words I write down, especially what I verbally express to people who I may see in person. “Has your mouth ever gotten you in a tangled-up mess?

      Or have you ever been deeply wounded because of the words of others?

      I’d have to say yes to both of these.

      But thank goodness I’m not alone – my friend, Karen Ehman, just wrote a fantastic book that tackles the hard subjects of gossip, speaking the truth in love, and the power of our words from a biblical standpoint. She’s guest posting today to give us some tips on how to control our tongue (and fingertips) online and through social media. Take it away, Karen…

      I still remember the day I got a Facebook page back in 2007. I am pretty much a foreigner in the land of all things techie, but my kids insisted one day that I just could not be a cool mom unless I had a Facebook page.

      At first, Facebook was fun. But then one day as I walked past the den, I heard my daughter hollering at the computer screen. “What? Are you kidding me right now? That’s a lie!”

      I popped my head into the room to inquire about what had upset my daughter so much. She invited me to look at her friend’s Facebook page. They were both members of a sports team, and a third girl, also a member, was on her friend’s page complaining about the team’s coach. The comments back and forth became sharper and more concerning. Pretty soon they were in an all-out Facebook fight. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

      It just strikes me as strange that friends can argue online or complete strangers can engage in a hearty debate right there on my blinking screen for all the world to see.

      Although the Bible was written long before the computer age, I am convinced the truths of Scripture that address how we use our words in speech applies equally to how we use our words online and on social media. In fact, sometimes it’s the online words that give us the most trouble. Unsolicited opinion-slinging. Snark. Or even worse.

      There is just something empowering about saying what you really think while hiding behind a computer screen.

      Maybe we feel courageous because the person we’re addressing isn’t physically present. Or perhaps going along with the crowd makes it easy to speak harshly. Whatever it is, I have witnessed many people say things in cyberspace I doubt they would ever say in person. Sometimes the keyboard really does bring out the horrible in us.

      So, if we want to honor God with what we say in cyberspace, what are the guidelines we should follow? Here are 5 things to consider before posting online:

      1. Pray Before You Post
      If we spend time ingesting God’s Truth each day before we switch on the computer, we might not write things that are unkind or hurtful. At the very least, we should whisper a prayer before we post, asking the Holy Spirit to tap on our hearts if we are tempted to post anything online that would not glorify Him.

      2. Imagine the Recipient Sitting Next to You
      The Internet is so impersonal. But if a flesh-and-blood person were sitting next to us with eyes we could look into, perhaps we would be more careful. Before you post, ask yourself if you would say things differently if the person to whom you’re writing were actually sitting next to you.

      3. Remember: When You’re Online, You’re Also on Stage
      Unless we send a private message, our online words are available for others to see. If I say something in person to a friend and am later convicted I was wrong, I can go back to my friend and apologize. However, if I post something on social media or comment on a blog and later want to retract it, I have no way to chase down all of the people who might have seen the original comment. Just this fact alone should cause us to really weigh our words before we type them out.

      4. Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand
      If friends on Facebook are hashing through a hot-button issue of the day, do you have any expertise in the area, or are you only slinging an underinformed opinion? We can’t always be an expert on every topic at hand, so when we aren’t, we might do well to refrain from commenting at all.

      5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace
      Our words must glorify God and not just exalt our own opinions. Here is a great guideline from Scripture: “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5–6).

      Jot down these questions on a sticky note and post it near the computer as a reminder to ask:

      • Is this comment wise?
      • Will writing this comment help me display God’s love to outsiders?
      • Is this comment full of grace?
      • Have I asked God if this is the best response?
      Amen! How so encouraging tonight! When we’re commenting to somet~Lysa TerKeurst, https://lysaterkeurst.com/
      Amen! What we say, whether in writing or in person, should be pleasing to God. We should want to say things that are going to be encouraging to others, no matter what their circumstances may happen to be. Saying positive things will show others that there are good people in the world, who believe in uplifting others.
      “A woman’s strength does not come from relying on her own limited abilities. Instead, her strength comes when she relies on the LORD’s infinite and unmatched abilities operating through her.”~Lysa TerKeurst
      Amen! How so incredibly true! When we rely completely on God, we’ll be strong in whatever we may do throughout our lives. Without God’s guidance, we aren’t going to be able to accomplish the goals in life that we know we can handle.
      “Lord, I know You. Therefore, I can have confidence in Your truth. I have absolute assurance in Your promises. I have been persuaded of Your truth to the point that I am certain Your plans are perfect.

      Only You have the necessary power, skill and resources to handle every situation we face. Only You can watch over, protect and keep safe those we love.

      So, I place each of my kids in Your hands today. I give them over to You for Your care and protection. As a mom, this is hard. But as a child of God, who believes and is convinced that you are able to guard, protect, and watch over…I entrust my most precious ones to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”~Lysa TerKeurst
      Amen! What a powerful prayer on this Friday night! God is most definitely amazing! He can definitely help us overcome whatever challenges that we may go through. Unconditional love is what God provides for us, as we are children of God, even if we don’t have earthly children of our own.

      Reply
  147. Margaret Hess

    What a great article! I will try to pray before I post. That helps us filter responses that we may “take the wrong way” and fire back something not very nice.

    Reply
  148. Jeanette

    Let your speech be laced with grace….working hard to make that happen. Ps 141:3 is my daily reminder to watch what I say.

    Reply
  149. Andrea

    Number five for sure. I have a tendency to say things in a way that can be taken in a way besides how I intend it. I need more grace with my words to be able to clearly get my intentions across. I am not the greatest with gracefully wording things.

    Reply
  150. Lavonda

    Pray before I post. Especially if a reply, I also think “Would this embarrass my mother, father, husband or children”.
    Thanks for the chance to win a book!!!
    Have a blessed weekend!!!

    Reply
  151. Teresa

    Such wisdom. Thank you!

    Reply
  152. Michelle

    I’m going to start praying before posting. One of my goals this year was to be more intentional & to pray more, so this is totally up my alley.

    Reply
  153. Tamika

    #5 Letting my speech be laced with Grace. I need to remember just as God has shown me grace I should show grace to others.

    Reply
  154. Lynell

    1 is this comment wise?

    Reply
  155. Kris

    #1

    Reply
  156. Tracy

    Pray before I post or email…God bless!

    Reply
  157. Veda

    let my speech be laced with grace….

    Reply
  158. Kimberly

    #5, letting my speech be laced with Grace.

    Reply
  159. Sara Wilkins

    #1 pray before you post. Very wise advice.

    Reply
  160. MistyTanner

    My words will be laced with grace!

    Reply
  161. Jess

    Pray before you post for sure. I can’t wait for January 26th!

    Reply
  162. Ashley Fields

    #4…I tend to want to offer my opinion whether I know much about the topic or not. You are right; it is quite easy to say things that you typically would not say in person when you’re sitting behind the ‘shield’ of a computer screen.

    Reply
  163. Deborah

    Would love to read more… Great, great advice. Gods’s peace 😊🙏🙏

    Reply
  164. heather

    #4.

    Reply
  165. Bonnie

    Being on stage…I think of posts I’ve seen because I’m a friend of a friend of someone who has commented. Our words are seen by many. It’s a great reminder “being on stage”.

    Reply
  166. Cazandra

    #5 I have been praying about using the right words to speak to people and think before saying. Mainly one of my biggest struggles

    Reply
  167. Margaret

    #5 for sure
    I have a bad habit of speaking in a way that does not reflect God even though I want it to and aim for it to. Things don’t always come out the right way.

    Reply
  168. Tina

    I am going to work on #5. I want to allow God to speak through me so that my words will be seasoned with grace, love and kindness… I mean well but many times I speak before I think but most importantly I speak before I pray…..gets me in trouble more times than not.

    Reply
  169. Lori Tilton

    #5 I am going to try to remember that the lost world is watching!

    Reply
  170. Yireh

    My favorite is rule number 5 because it works on and offline!!!!

    Reply
  171. Patti Atkinson

    I’m going to use prayer before I post.

    Reply
  172. Anja

    #4…definitely #4. I offer up my opinions far too easily, both online and in person. I’m working on it and thank God for grace, but I still need that reminder!

    Reply
  173. Rachelle Langhans

    I love the first rule… To pray before posting. So simple, yet so important!

    Reply
  174. Lisa Klinge

    #5

    Reply
  175. Sue Epling

    #1 Pray before you post is where I need to focus. All of the tips are excellent. I could also use guidance on how, when and if to respond to an inappropriate post. I feel if I say nothing, the writer may think I agree.

    Reply
  176. amy hart

    Let your words be laced with grace… I’m going to write this on our family board.

    Reply
  177. Cassie M

    #2

    Reply
  178. Joanie

    #4 is something I should work on, especially with certain people.

    Reply
  179. Jennifer S

    #5

    Reply
  180. Jenni DeWitt

    #2 is a great way to self-regulate and will lead to all the rest. Technology has moved out in front of us in lightening speed. Books like this are so valuable, because they help us to pause and think about how we want to use all this new technology — for good or for evil. Thank you!

    Reply
  181. Jana Lee Miskovsky

    5 – When you speak, let your speech be laced with Grace.

    Reply
  182. Gloria Burkholder

    #5 Grace Grace Grace!

    Reply
  183. stina babb

    Is this comment full of grace. I am just learning about grace over the past year. How to recieve it, and how to give it. It is an amazing thing! Love the things you gave us to think about, I ve been in these situations and they do not feel good.

    Reply
  184. Katrina ferguson

    I definitely need to remember rule #2. In social media, but more so in all my interactions through the day! You never know who you could influence on positive or negatively with just a few simple words Id much rather have the positive influence. I’d like to show people Gods love, I mgoht be their only example for the day.

    Reply
  185. Kimberly L. Smialek

    Praying before I post, message or text someone. Also to “lace my words with GRACE”.Sometimes I will respond without reading the entire topic. I’m learning to take the “cotton out of my ears and putting it in my mouth!!! I want to respond with intention to speak words of life and not death into another’s life. I want to join the online study and would sincerely ask to be considered for the give away of, yet ANOTHER amazing book! Lisa thank you for living your life “out loud….. bless you ,
    Kimberly

    Reply
  186. Emily

    #3

    Reply
  187. cindy

    #5…I’m working to be Graceful on and off the computer.

    Reply
  188. Megan Fogliano

    I am going to ask myself if I’ve earned the right to address the subject.

    Reply
  189. Brandie

    What great biblical advice. I think I am one of the few in life that still don’t have Facebook or Twitter, or any social media. Face to face interaction is still key to good communication!

    Reply
  190. Steph

    #5

    Reply
  191. Susan W. Pruitt

    Thank you Karen!! I too have been deeply wounded by others harsh words and #5 stood out the most to me as it touched my heart. I long to choose words and statements that edify, encourage, and built others up rather than tear them down. I do not want to place damage on them that I couldn’t undo or want done to me…anymore.
    May God bless us always!

    Reply
  192. Louise

    #2 I am sure I would speak differently if I was speaking to the person face to face. It is so easy to say something when you can hide behind the computer screen. Thanks for the tips. Gives me a lot to think about.

    Reply
  193. Stephanie C.

    I definitely need to work on having my conversations grace laced and praying before I speak.

    Reply
  194. Fatima

    In my small group meeting, I had just mentioned how God uses people I follow, know or listen to, to say what I or someone else needs to hear. Another lady mentioned how her relationship with a loved one over the years has been a bit “gossipy”, online and in person. She needed to know how she could move from that kind of relationship to one the was more life giving. This message came to my email during the meeting but I couldn’t read it until now and wow. It is exactly what this young lady needs to hear. Thank God for using you and thank you for sharing this message.

    Reply
  195. Emily

    Will writing this comment help me display God’s love toward outsiders?
    Daily I pray God uses me as a light for the world. I need that light to remain bright in my social media presence as well.

    Reply
  196. Renee Watts

    #1 I need to pray for God to give me wise words to speak & post!

    Reply
  197. Heidi

    5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace
    Our words must glorify God and not just exalt our own opinions. Here is a great guideline from Scripture: “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5–6)
    Pray about it before I post!

    Reply
  198. Carisa

    I definitely need to pray more before I post! Thank you!

    Reply
  199. Kelly

    I’m going to pray before I post. I’m also going to memorize the verse from Colossians: “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5–6).

    Reply
  200. Jennifer Terrell

    Speech laced with grace

    Reply
  201. Cindy

    I never thought about praying before I post something. That is wonderful advice. I will try to do that from now on.

    Reply
  202. Kathy

    I think that item one to pray first and step back for a moment allows me time to think which may make further action
    unnecessary.

    Reply
  203. Sarah C

    #5. I need to work on using grace in all forms of my communication.

    Reply
  204. Patsi Kelly

    Keep It Shut – great advice!

    Reply
  205. Candy

    Totally need to guard my mouth.

    Reply
  206. Rachel Ramey

    Rule #5 When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace

    Our words must glorify God and not just exalt our own opinions. This statement smacked me in the face and convicted my heart. I can not wait to read this book! Thank you!

    Reply
  207. Rene' Pingel

    #5. I want every word I speak to be laced with God’s grace.

    Reply
  208. Rachelle K.

    #1, pray before typing.

    Reply
  209. LindaAnN

    #5. I’m putting that verse near my computer and a few other places n my home.

    Reply
  210. Norma Lloyd

    I want to remember that the words I write will be full of grace

    Reply
  211. Debra

    #5 Let you speech be laced with grace….great advice. Even when we’re speaking or typing truth, it needs to be done in a grace filled way. Thank you for the devotion today. I would love to win one of the free copies of your book 🙂

    Reply
  212. Melissa

    Pray before I post 🙂 not that what I post is often offensive, but my desire is that whatever I post blesses others.

    Reply
  213. Jaime A.

    I’m going to implement 1. Pray Before You Post. I have bought a copy of the book and signed up for the OBS, but I have a dear friend whom I’d like to get a copy for because she is really struggling right now. Her life is falling apart at the seams. Our pastor has been counseling her to be quiet before the Lord and seek Him for the next 6-12 months to change her life. I believe she would greally benefit from your book and this study.

    Reply
  214. Brenda gentry

    Pray and consider if my comment is true and kind.

    Reply
  215. Susan S.

    Oh how I need this!

    Reply
  216. Sheri

    Definitely #1 and #5, especially when I am upset about something. In the heat of the moment, when the emotions rise up, it is easy to react without taking the time to think, pray, and then speak with calm, grace, and kindness.

    Reply
  217. Heather Condon

    # 1 Pray before I post… Not only my words but also photos. Facebook and social media has become a bragging fest. It’s sad to see that..

    Reply
  218. Nancy Olivier

    I woke up this morning disturbed with a dream I had dreamt, I had to literally wake my up to get this off my mind. I was sharing my thoughts with my husband as I was fixing myself a cup of coffee & was sympathetic but not sure how to comment. I then realized how one of my son’s was feeling with the situation he’s going through with being bombarded with accusations of how everyone feels about him, as a mom it breaks my Heart. I then turn on my smart phone to check emails when I began to read the article by Lisa TeKerheurst & was immediately reminded of the scripture in Colossians 4: 5-6 & God immediately gave me Peace, I really want to have a copy of this book to help me practice dedicating my words to the Lord, Thank God I do not have a problem with posting my thoughts on the Internet hut posting them in my mouth & Heart is just as bad or worse because I have to live with these haunting comments & thoughts all by myself until I learn to Shut My Mouth & get into the Word “EVERYDAY”

    Reply
  219. Lynne

    Is this comment wise. I don’t want to comment unless I really know what I am talking about. 🙂

    Reply
  220. Kasey

    I’ll definitely be paying attention to what I write and if it is wise.

    Reply
  221. Michele Morin

    I really enjoyed Karen’s book, and found it to be very practical. I’ve already written one of her great ideas for using words constructively into my planner for the Lenten season. If you need further encouragement to let godly wisdom shape your words, here’s a link to my review of the book:
    https://michelemorin.wordpress.com/2015/01/09/zip-it/

    Reply
  222. Emily

    This book comes at a very crucial part of my life. See my husband and I have surrendered to full time ministry. Certain things have come about and I have decided to take a spiritual rest from social media. The same day God convicted me of that, I got an email from Proverbs 31 about your new book. I love how God had a sense of humor, so for me I will be implementing #1 when I get back on FB. Until then I can’t wait to read your book and do the online study.

    Reply
  223. Melinda

    Is this comment filled with grace?

    Reply
  224. Leslie Jones

    #4 – so I don’t jump into conversations just because I have an opinion on the subject.

    Reply
  225. karen Hall

    #3 – Social media has a tendency to create a lack of sensitivity in us. This is so timely, I recently experienced this for myself and was saddened to realize I was lacking sensitivity to others personal moments. Thankfully, God is working on me! Thanks for you post.

    Reply
  226. Sue Jeffords

    I think if any of the five rules were followed, it would make a difference. I especially like rule #2.

    Reply
  227. Erin

    3 and 4!

    Reply
  228. April V

    I’ll be working on “pray before you post”.. I think if you take the time to pray first, you’d be surprised at what you decide NOT to say..

    Reply
  229. Jamie

    #1 Pray before I post!

    Reply
  230. Lacey Simon

    #2 – act as if they are sitting next to me. And also use a lot of grace.

    Reply
  231. Christylee Watson

    Before I post online, I’m going to pray and ask God for his advice!

    Reply
  232. Lucille

    This is such a wonderful reminder for me…thanks for this. I am going to implement # 2…imagine the recipient sitting next to me.

    Reply
  233. Juanita

    I want to apply #5 to my life in general, not just my onlinr activities. As well as #1. I need to oray before speaking and then have Hods grace shine thru when i finally do!! I do not have a Facebook any longer. I closed my account about 2 years ago now. I could not take all the drama that seemed to follow social media and the time I allowed it to draw me in. I allow my daughter to still have her account and I monitor her actions often. These are great tips for social media and life in general.

    Reply
  234. Stephanie

    I love number 1, and asking the holy spirit to tap at our hearts before writing something unfit to say. That seems like a fool proof way to not only keep your foot out of your mouth, but grow closer to the will and heart of God. Thank you!

    Reply
  235. Pam

    God is speaking to me through the title of your book! I have some work to do in this area. Thanks!

    Reply
  236. Pam

    oops forgot to say #5 for sure!

    Reply
  237. lindsey raney

    1Pray before you post.

    Reply
  238. Gretchen Scoleri

    When u are online, you are onstage. Anything I post is out there for all to see, and I can’t take anything back! For this extrovert who wants to say/post everything I think or feel, this is a good one because what I think or feel could change the next moment. Then what I say could be remembered by anyone for years to come, and I may not even believe what I said. I need to be careful.

    Reply
  239. Carol Maguire

    #4 is my continued weakness and through that I know I need to pray for wisdom before commenting. Sometimes, we think we know enough about something to comment but do we really know all about it? Enough about it? Both sides? The truth? Always offering grace just as we want it given to us. Excellent tips and I would love to be able to read your book but maybe others need it more. Praying for those who might need it most to win. Thank you for the chance!

    Reply
  240. Janeen

    I will implement #1 b/c it’s the most important. If I pray first, the other 4 suggestions follow b/c I will have been instructed by my Heavenly Father.

    Reply
  241. Jenna

    1. pray before you post. I need to remember God knows the situation better than anyone and something I might think is ok is actually hurtful to those who may read it.

    Reply
  242. Debbie

    #5. God wants to get all the glory and we are his feet, hands, and MOUTH. We are representing Him in everything we do so we MUST be careful to encourage…not tear down. Facebook can be a wonderful way to spread His love. Looking forward to your study and would love the book!

    Reply
  243. Melissa Newman

    #5 for sure! Let my speech be laced with grace. The more I chose to post positive uplifting status, the more I feel my Facebook friends will follow. Therefore encourage one another with these words. (‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4‬:‭18‬)

    Reply
  244. Laura Cruz

    I will remember to pray before I post. I have unfortunately posted while emotional and it is “on a stage” ,,it cannot be taken back. I also will try to speak with grace more.

    Reply
  245. Desiree

    #5- and this is very timely.

    Reply
  246. Wendy Riordan

    # 3 is a great reminder that all can see what you post and it can have have a positive or negative effect on all who read it.
    Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)

    8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

    Reply
  247. Lou Gilchrist

    #5 talk with Grace! In Jesus name!

    Reply
  248. Maria

    #5. Something I need to work on both online and offline.

    Reply
  249. Pam

    These are all wonderful but I Ann really going to focus on #5. Not only when posting online. .. but in all daily situations when I have an opportunity to respond to someone. May I always glorify God rather than exalt my own pinion

    Reply
  250. lorie bowman

    I will most certainly try to follow rule number 4. I am so guilty of this from time to time, and I thank you for your blog post today. This is something I need to be aware of and actually, Rule number 1 goes hand in hand. I wrote the 4 questions on a sticky note as well. The sticky note is on my laptop for me to see each time I log on.

    Reply
  251. Pam

    These are all wonderful but I am really going to focus on #5. Not only when posting online. .. but in all daily situations when I have an opportunity to respond to someone. May I always glorify God rather than exalt my own opinion

    Reply
  252. Rachel W

    Thank you for these words….they came at the right time for me:). As much as I want to stay connected with my friends and family via FB, I was seeing and reading comments that left me with feelings and attitudes that I wasn’t liking, so I took at a few months off of FB. However, I missed being “connected” with people….I just started back up again this year, and praying that I will be more of an encouragement and “light” to others with a more positive approach with anything I say. Thank you!

    Reply
  253. Becca K.

    #1. This is something I have never ever considered doing. What a great way to communicate with God and let the Holy Spirit work.

    Reply
  254. Sherri Deakins

    Imagine the recipient next to me.. That’s very important.. I needed this today.. Thank you for your blog..

    Reply
  255. Jane Turner

    any of them, but #5 jumps out especially.. Good suggestion for anytime,

    Reply
  256. Haley

    All but especially #1 and #4.

    Reply
  257. Pat

    #3: I think we often forget everyone can see our comments and how it will effect our witness.

    Reply
  258. Jennie

    Is my speech laced with grace? Oh, I must apply this in my life now!!

    Reply
  259. Debbie W

    Great life giving guidelines. #1 Begin with prayer and certainly in all communication matters.

    Reply
  260. Ellen Cole

    “Is this comment wise.”….”Is this comment wise?”…”Is this comment wise?” I need to loop that continuously in my brain.

    Reply
  261. Vickie

    Great points your have made!! I really need to make sure that I represent Christ in all the comments I make. I DO want to be an example as a believer and follower of Christ to others. I would love to receive this book to read and then pass on to others.

    Reply
  262. Aubrie

    I am going to focus on the fact that what I say online is on stage and open for the world to see. I already do this but I this week I will focus more on the fact that what I post is a reflection of me. Do I want others to think of me in a different light than what I truly am? It’s good to remember these things.

    Reply
  263. Pat

    Great points to think about before posting!
    Worth sharing!

    Reply
  264. Lorene

    #1 definitely! Pray before I post! Thanks for these guidelines! Somedays I have no filter. I could use some help in this area!

    Reply
  265. Gau Yang

    #5 When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace!

    Reply
  266. Barbara Taylor

    Pray… Then Lace with Grace… Even when you don’t want to!!!

    Reply
  267. Emily

    Pray Pray Pray before I Post, text, or respond!

    Reply
  268. Tiffiny Palm

    Have I asked God if this is the best response? All 5 points are such a great reminder! I know many times I have not even thought of praying and asking God if my response is the best one….what I say has a huge impact on those who read it. I do make sure that if I do have an issue with someone that I take it to them personally. I believe doing that online is a lack of maturity and if we are not taking it to God there is no way we can see the truth, we just see our hurt. We end up hurting ourselves and especially someone else.

    Reply
  269. Lucy Humeniuk

    #4….have I earned the right to answer.

    Reply
  270. Sarah C

    I can say that I have said no many times when wanting to respond to something because I did not feel at peace about it. Thank you for writing this! I also need to pray more frequently before responding. 🙂

    Reply
  271. Michele A

    I would definitely go with number 2. If I can’t imagine saying it to the person sitting next to me it probably doesn’t need to be said.

    Reply
  272. Grace

    #4.. I have wisdom in many things, but not everything. Speaking with presumed knowledge in an area where I am not really experienced and knowledgeable could hurt someone unintentionally or edge them towards “my choice” and not the choice that’s right for them. Sometimes the most helpful thing I can say is “I will pray for you to receive God’s direction”.

    Reply
  273. Brenda S

    “Ask yourself if you’ve earned the right to address the subject at hand”
    This is something that I have been working on and have been very successful in doing. So many times I have commented on something that was not addresses to me and felt MY opinion had to be heard, especially if it was opposing but in my mind, valid. After recognizing the pricking of the Holy Spirit and heeding His lead, there is no longer a need to be heard just because I have the opportunity.

    Reply
  274. Melissa

    I will have to say that I already follow most of these principles when posting on social media or even emails. I am careful about my words and content. Although, (a bit shamefully) I typically don’t pray over what I post, so maybe this is something I should implement. Unfortunately, I have been subject to some harsh words via social media. Recently in fact. These words cut deep hand have been hard for me to let go. It involved a confrontation with a family member ( not close with her) who is also a neighbor, involving our children. I was irritated about the situation and chose to “walk away” at the time of the incident in fear that my words would not be nice. She then choose to address me through social media (thankfully a private message) with harsh and condemning words, with accusations of being immature and non-christian like as well as attaching my parenting. I responded with careful words of course but her harsh and condemning words still swirl in my head.

    I actually try my hardest to use social media for the opposite affect, to post encouraging messages and to lift people up! I have actually become more bold with my encouragement to others (in general) through social media using its feeling of habitation behind the screen to speak out for good, even sharing my faith more!

    This all does not separate me though from a struggle to NOT Keep It Shut at times though!
    I can’t wait to read Keep it Shut!

    Reply
  275. sally

    I’m going to always pray before I post, but I intend to follow all of these rules!

    Reply
  276. Lori H

    I absolutely need to ask myself if this comment is full of grace! Since it will live on in cyberspace forever, I need to make sure it’s something appropriate that will comfort and encourage those who read it.

    Reply
  277. Pam

    #5 – Let your comment be laced with grace.

    Reply
  278. Serrena Westerfield

    Karen, This is a well needed book. I will pick up a copy. I also use one other verse that has resonated in my mind daily. It comes from James 4:11-12.
    Warning against Judging Others
    11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters.[d] If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
    We are to be gracious and kind with our words as that shows God’s heart. I think the hardest thing I have had to swallow is to watch my older daughters. They are a product of who I was. While I have never been one to air my differences in public hence I would write an email, call, or see them in person without a crowd. There is always the talk it out with the wrong person scenarios that really are not always very healthy because you are discussing what happen with a person and others usually are presence. How does that exemplify Jesus? It does not.
    My prayers have been that I have the ability to teach my daughters to be different and show grace when grace is most difficult. But God will see and He will guide you if you do as you suggested pray. Pray for His council and obey Him in how to handle when all our being says explode all over that person and give them a piece or your mind.
    Great blog and keep writing as God has led you!!
    Blessings

    Reply
  279. Cheryl

    #2 and 3

    Reply
  280. Nikki Yandle

    Love this, I had never thought about praying before posting something. Definitely will do that in the future before I post something. We are definitely on a stage when we post things and we have to make sure that we are glorifying God in everything that we do and say.

    Reply
  281. Nicole

    #4, admittedly I often speak before I have all the facts and sometimes based on my opinion of assumptions. Good grief! I’m a hot mess!

    Reply
  282. Betty Jean Pope

    I use Facebook mostly for
    1–Prayer request
    2–Report answered prayer
    3–want others to know WHO I believe in and WHAT I believe in.
    4–reconnect and share with old friends and even cousins
    5–Keep connected with friends, not on Facebook, through other friends, on Facebook

    Reply
  283. Susan Hilliard

    #4 for me. Have I earned the right to address the issue? Usually the answer is no.

    Reply
  284. Barbara

    Prayer. Also remembering it is a stage we are on! Thank you for the chance!

    Reply
  285. Cynthia

    1. Pray Before You Post

    I usually do this, but know I need to be more diligent.

    Grace to you.

    Reply
  286. Shawna

    #1 as that is my focus over all-metal prayer!

    Reply
  287. Kathy Nelsen

    #1 Pray before you post. I don’t always pray before my posts. I do if it is scripture but not other stuff. I also will be sharing all with my children. We have online rules about not posting negative comments or airing family issues but I think these would be great to add to help my teenagers avoid online drama and gossip. Thanks so much!

    Reply
  288. Shawna

    I meant more prayer….not metal prayer 😉

    Reply
  289. Julie Fetter

    #3 is the one that I have been reminding myself of recently. It definitely tempers my choice of how to express my thoughts.

    Reply
  290. diane pearson

    #1. Pray before posting—something I really should do more of…sometimes taking things and situations personally you allow your humanism to take over and not allow God to work through you. I pray for His forgiveness and ask that He may use me as His tool and vessel that others may see Him through me and what to become part of His kingdom–in Jesus name, Amen

    Reply
  291. Donna

    When I am online I am also on stage.

    Reply
  292. Bekah

    I am not always the greatest at following rule #4. I think too often I can find myself thinking I know a lot about what is being said and wind up not really knowing much at all. Sometimes it’s just better to be quiet than speak and try and ‘over think’ the other person.

    Reply
  293. Sharon Cole

    Is this comment full of GRACE! We all live by Gods Grace daily, Amen. Why not extend that same grace to others friend or foe.

    Reply
  294. Joni Kraayenbrink

    When you speak, let your speech be laced with grace.

    Reply
  295. Hannah Twigg

    #1 prayer is so important and powerful.

    Reply
  296. Callie

    5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace

    Reply
  297. Tonya Neira

    I’m going to pray that my speech is laced with grace!
    I think I say things and don’t realize they could be
    Perceived differently than how I intended.

    Reply
  298. Stacey

    #5. Let my speech be laced with grace. I pray for this.

    Reply
  299. KAY PARRISH

    THINK BEFORE I TYPE
    WILL IT OFFEND ANYONE
    DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY THAT
    PRAY OVER THE POST

    Reply
  300. Debra Rice

    # 4. Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand, do I have the expertise? It’s best to keep your opinions to yourself.

    Reply
  301. katie rapp

    I will pray before i post. Good rules!

    Reply
  302. Maria Gloria

    Let my speech be laced with grace.

    Reply
  303. Rachel C.

    I need to work on ALL FIVE!!!! But the first one I am going to begin with is IS THIS COMMENT FULL OF GRACE? I have received so much grace from Jesus throughout my life- times when I certainly did NOT deserve it. He has blessed me by giving me parents who have met my mess with love and grace, and sent a husband who truly at all times takes that step back and chooses to respond with grace when I deserve anger, or any other reprimand. And yet having been given so freely this grace, I find myself placing myself in the judgment seat accusing, pointing fingers and listing all the wrongs instead of responding in LOVE and GRACE and COMPASSION. Thank you, once again for teaching us through your own God-given grace and compassion the TRUTH IN LOVE! Proverbs 31 and your ministries throughout have helped develop me into the stronger Christian woman I have long desired to be IN His will and to be His hands and feet. Blessings to you for placing yourselves out there, raw, real, and open so we know we aren’t alone!

    Reply
  304. Jamie DeLaughder

    1. Pray before posting, so simple and needed.

    Reply
  305. kim

    #1. Need to pray before I post to make sure that my thoughts and words do not hurt others

    Reply
  306. Becky

    Just experienced with one of my sons today. I deactivated my Facebook to take a break for a few weeks. It is painful to watch people publicly post such horrible things about people. I very rarely post because of what I see. I recently did my own house cleaning,, really needed to look through my wells before I dug new ones. I don’t believe I am qualified to throw stones at others.

    Reply
  307. Melanie H

    #5, May my speech be laced with grace. Not only with what I post on FB,but in everything! I want my words to edify, encourage, and to only be what The Lord would have me say!.

    Reply
  308. Susan

    its so difficult to just pick one but I truly need to pray before I post. Many times I will post or reply immediately and it’s usually a knee-jerk reaction. If I had prayed and thought about who the post will affect and if it glorifies the Lord I probably would not post it! I definitely need to pray before I post!

    Reply
  309. Sherry

    #3. “Remember: When You’re Online, You’re Also on Stage” Is the one I’m going to work on this week. This challenged me. I tend to forget that I am “talking” to more than one person. I want to be sure my reply is well thought through and not one that later I would want to ‘take back’ or be embarrassing to me or my ‘friend’. Most certainly I want it to be encouraging and for the Lord to approve of it.

    Reply
  310. Laura

    Pray before I speak or post, that my May my speech be laced with grace. . .so that my word build up and encourage rather than tear down, so that I am the fragrance of Christ

    Reply
  311. Wen

    #Laced With Grace! I can totally relate on many levels. I’ve been hurt by words and unfortunately haven’t always let my words be laced with grace either. It’s important as a mom to set this example, too. Can’t wait to read this and share with others!

    Reply
  312. Lisa Hice

    This is a great article on social media. I am in the midst of creating my Facebook page and website that is faith and healing focued for women. #1 is my goal which is to pray before every post. Thank you again for this article.

    Reply
  313. Tammy Baker

    #4 Have I earned the right to address the subject at hand.

    Reply
  314. Cindy Fields

    Oh my! Timing is everything. I saw a post ‘explode’ just this evening. I am so far from perfect, but I do try to keep it clean and remember Jesus can read FB posts!

    Reply
  315. Kathy W.

    They are all very good, but hopefully, if I pray first about the words that I might say, the others will be covered. So agree with everything you said in this message…it is right on! Thank you for your ministry.

    Reply
  316. vickie E

    #2 imagine the recipient sitting next to me. How would speak to the person if they were sitting across from me looking at me. Something to think about before I type.

    Reply
  317. carolyn

    2.I’ve seen posts that ppl leave that state how thankful for their neighbors help, then post how dirty their neighbors house was!
    Unbelievable, just wander if the neighbor will be so eager to help next time!!!!

    Reply
  318. Sandy Daniels

    #4 do I have the right or earned the right to comment is it an area on expertise. I’m guessing not! Thank you for sharring and while they all apply this will be my first focus point .

    Reply
  319. cindy

    need help fast. Book would be of great use

    Reply
  320. alise

    “Pray before I post” but I love the whole list!!! thanks

    Reply
  321. Kristi

    Are my words full of Grace? I love this new to me concept of being full of God’s Grace to others: in person and about others.

    Reply
  322. Jon Stolpe

    Fantastic suggestions here. The book of James has always provided a reminder to me as I post online and speak – “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry….”

    Reply
  323. Sheri

    Always pray before posting, or better yet don’t post at all!!! Love this list and love the idea of posting the guidlines beside my computer.

    Reply
  324. Lisa Cybul

    #2 imagine the recipient sitting next to you. This will make me think twice before engaging in a political righteous debate and instead think of their eternal well breing in a softer sweeter tone. Thanks

    Reply
  325. KellyK(@RNCCRN9706)

    I am going to seriously pray about what I post. I’ve been told in the past that I’m ‘too negative’ in my postings on FB. 😉

    Reply
  326. Suz

    I need this book, because I am hurting, but need to resolve conflict in my relationships. Thank you for the chance to receive a copy

    Reply
  327. Sharon

    #2 Imagine the recipient sitting right next to you.

    Reply
  328. Sandy

    #1 Pray Before You Post. This is an great idea. I have been known to post things that hurt others, and it’s usually when I have not stayed close to God every minute of my day! This alone will most likely take care of all of the others. Thank You for sharing and reminding us about putting a clip on our lip!

    Reply
  329. NeCe

    I am going to implement praying before I post. If I pray before I post, I trust that God will lead me to say (or type 🙂 the right thing.

    Reply
  330. Tracey

    Lysa, what a great reminder as we start the new year. I am going to try 2 ideas. First as others are posting to pray if this is something I am being led to do, and would be reflecting on what God would want and secondly, do I have enough knowledge on the subject. I also think, as women we tend to speak from emotion, not always from grace, with the right thing to say based on fact. Thanks again for your reminders!!! Would love the book Keep it shut. As a bible study leader, it looks interesting for a group study….

    Reply
  331. Henderson Granny

    “Pray Before You Post”
    I generally try to follow the “Golden Rule” when posting, but sometimes I get carried away… I will definitely pray before posting something important. <3

    Reply
  332. Alex Andrews

    #3 is one that I will be using. I never really thought about it in that way…New Perspective, LOVE IT!!!!

    Reply
  333. Melissa Gros

    #1 the most important and should be immediate! But I tend to binge post when I’m emotional! Not so much bashing but more sharing of myself than I should!!!!!
    Pray pray pray!!

    Reply
  334. Lois Pepple

    I love this article. I am happy to see some advice for how to deal with posts and comments on social media. It is unwise to use these avenues to add fuel to fires that are already raging on the site; or to pop off in public just to gain a bit of notoriety. I love all the guidelines you gave here. But I believe that praying before you even type one word is the best advice. I have actually done this, and ended up not posting the comment I had felt so justified giving. Yes, we need to follow the same Biblical advice for “speaking” online that we do for speaking in general. If we wouldn’t feel comfortable giving our comment to another in person, then its’ probably not wise to post it online either. Thanks for this post.

    Reply
  335. debra korb

    Thank you for writing on this topic. Your analogy of hiding behind the computer when commenting is great. Praying before commenting and thinking of the other person is so important and is something i will add to my 2015 personal goals.

    Reply
  336. Jennifer

    #5 is probably the one I’d like to start working on first. I tend to have a direct way of speaking that may be helpful, may be true, may be other good things, but it is often not taken with the good intent in which I mean it. I think being able to say it with grace would help things.

    Reply
  337. vickie mullins

    Loved this. Al so very true social media has gotten out of hand we need to remember God first in all we say and do.

    Reply
  338. Kim M

    I’m going to implement the rule of imaging the person sitting in front of me before saying anything online. I think we get brave behind the keyboard and let our emotions flow when we would be much too timid to do this face to face.

    Thanks for the great advice. I will share with my teenage kids as well. I would love to win a copy of your book.

    Kim

    Reply
  339. Jane Eakle

    Pray before posting

    Reply
  340. peggy o'shea

    Boy did your message hit home today. going through a very difficult situation at home with a loved one who has a terminal illness, I was acused of not doing enough and taking better care of this person, I was livid and did not like the accusations being thrown at me and so began my defensive mode. I though afterwards what would GOD have said? We get lost in the moment and afterwards regrete on how I could have handled it better. If only….
    God has become a big part of my life after the diagnosis of my finacee..ALS and it is very stressful dealing with the constant flux of emotions. Dont know what i would with out him and the people he placed in my life to help cope.
    thank you!!
    peggy o’shea

    Reply
  341. Karen Uldrick

    Would love to have a copy of this book!

    Reply
  342. charlotte

    as the only parent to a 9 year old boy mine is #5. I forget with the stresses of the day and parenting and his own strong will (which I should count as a blessing) to lace my words with grace. It is my prayer for 2015.

    Reply
  343. Rebecca Martin

    Is my comment filled with grace and pleasing to God?

    Reply
  344. Melody Byrum

    I am going to use rule #5 and Lace my Words with Grace. I have actually lost a real life friend due to facebook. There were a couple of other things that also caused it, but facebook was the majority. Most of the time when I post, it’s about my kids or family and stuff going on with that. I also try very hard to post positive stuff, especially about my husband. If we get into an argument I stay away from facebook because I don’t want to post something bad about him online when I am angry. I do complain on facebook about certain things, but not very often. So I hope that my words can be laced with grace.

    Reply
  345. Sharon

    Rule 4 – best to say nothing when uninformed/underinformed/misinformed. It’s almost always best to say nothing 🙂

    Reply
  346. Stacey

    I have been caught on both sides of this. This year I’m working on living intentionally….and with that goes praying more, including before I post. Thank you for the reminders!

    Reply
  347. SHANON MCBRIDE

    try harder to apply all to my life, just imagine if everyone would have the same way of thinking.

    Reply
  348. Arlene Marrinan

    Mine will be Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject at Hand . I’ve acknowledged that I’m a very opinionated person, but I’m learning that my opinions aren’t facts!
    Thank you for writing this book 🙂

    Reply
  349. Arlene Marrinan

    PS: I will be sharing this piece on Facebook 🙂

    Reply
  350. Lisa Santos

    I appreciate your timely post. Last night I responded to a friend’s Facebook post, and one of his friends whom I do not know invited me rather snarkily to move away from the United States. I took the position at that time not to respond in hurt or anger. Today your blog has given me even better suggestions on how to process the episode inside my own head. I still do not feel led to respond to her in writing, but I appreciate your perspective very much for future reference.

    Reply
  351. Chris Hanks

    #5 all about that grace, no devil 🙂

    Reply
  352. LaTara

    #1 Pray before you post. I really think this is such a great yet easy thing to do. Thanks for your wonderful insight.

    Reply
  353. Anne B

    1. Pray Before You Post …need to work on this more.

    Reply
  354. Robin Padgett

    #5 Let my speech be laced with grace! Not only in posting but also on my job. I am the secretary at my church and always want to bring glory to the Lord with all I say and do……it’s not always easy with all the complaints that can come my way! I always want my speech to be laced with grace!!!

    Reply
  355. Michele Musick

    There is no doubt this message was for me. Many times what saves me is that my name will be right beside the comment which makes me think before I write. Thanks for this message and the questions to ask myself before posting.

    Reply
  356. Karen M

    I am going to pray before I post!

    Reply
  357. Lisa McDonald ~ Proverbs 31 Ministries OBS Team

    Oh Karen, boy do I need this book. I cannot wait to begin reading it. I think I’m going to tackle the delivery man when he brings it.
    #5 I need my speech to be laced with grace. I am very honest and I like people to know exactly how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. I may come across negative or harsh at first and then I explain what I mean. It’s that initial shock I need to wrap in grace.
    Thank you for this book.

    Reply
  358. Holly

    1. Wait 5
    2. Ask if I would like that posted about myself
    3. Who will be reading this
    4. Can I choose different wording
    5. Lace it with grace!

    Reply
  359. Rhonda B

    I need to work on being more gracious, #5.

    Reply
  360. Teresa Kuhl

    I’ve learned a lot in the last couple years about keeping my mouth shut on hot topics. #5 for me is as big as it gets– speak with grace. Remember, what you say, especially what you don’t agree with, could affect someone you love, without you even realizing it. Speak with grace- always!

    Reply
  361. Diana Williams

    #1 – Pray before you post. This is great advice and I want to make an effort to do this going forward. You can’t take it back once it’s out there, and we are not a good witness when we post things that are hurtful. A timely message and very important in the world we now live in. It’s like the old saying, think before you speak.

    Reply
  362. Theresa

    Boy this was a message from God for me. I almost fell over when I read this. A friend & I are always sending silly post we see to each other & I sent her one the other night & yesterday I woke up to her so upset with me over that post I sent her because she took it the wrong way & it has caused so much pain & I am not even sure if it has ruined our friendship because she has not spoken to me since. I have been praying to God & asking him to please be with me whenever I go to post anything because I am so afraid of hurting someone again. So I am going to be praying before I post from now on. If I ever need anything it is this book. God Bless you for this of all days when I needed to hear it the most.

    Reply
  363. Lauri Scogin

    Oh My, thank you for this article. It’s really timely in my life.the whole concept of having my words seasoned with grace is really important right now as I run a business and have to speak regularly to employees.I was just praying about a particular situation going on. it’s so easy to want to be justified in what we say. I can’t make being in charge an excuse for not always using kind words.I’m praying that God speaks through me today and I thank you for the article which will help me.

    Reply
  364. David D

    Is this just for women or can a man benefit from it..
    I am reading Made to crave from bible app an for me its right on point…
    Want to buy the book but, well i am a manly man..lol

    Reply
  365. Laura Crosby

    Thanks for these great reminders! Our rule for our staff and family is “Never fight online (or through email)” There is just too much room for misunderstanding. You don’t have the benefit of hearing tone of voice or seeing the person’s expression or the opportunity to question for better understanding in the moment.

    Reply
  366. Billie Jo

    I’m going to pray before I write! Thank you d for the very helpful reminders to watch our writing…….

    Reply
  367. Adoption Mama

    So good. Truth. The hardest are those in my own home. May God give me grace today.

    Reply
  368. Rick Fairfield

    All good ideas in the article. However the concepts can work without any reference to God or religion; If a person is genuinely happy in their life, they won’t be naturally inspired to write hurtful things. Usually such negative thoughts betray insecurity or lack of self-esteem on the part of the writer.

    Reply
  369. Jenna

    I loved #2, imagine the recipient sitting next to you, this is huge, as it is easier to say things and not be around them when they read it. I will definitely be working on this one!

    Reply
  370. Jill D

    #4 Ask Yourself If You’ve Earned the Right to Address the Subject
    Not just my opinion!

    Reply
  371. Cheri

    5. When You Speak, Let Your Speech Be Laced with Grace. AMEN!

    Reply
  372. Audra Murphy

    I really need to implement all 5 of these but #5 would be the one I choose most. I always want yo speak with Grace and always bring Glory and Honor to God.

    Reply
  373. Jill A

    FB asks the question: ” What’s on your mind? ”

    it’s just a prompt, we’re not legally required to answer it
    right at that moment.

    Reply
  374. Aimee Sorrells

    All of these are such good points and are reminders to me to be careful and prayerful when I post. Words that are not carefully crafted can come across the wrong way and though not intentionally meant to hurt feelings, they can do it. I have unintentionally hurt someone close to me, my daughter. It took six months for the relationship to be restored. It put a strain on our whole family. It was a horrible experience. I will post these at my computer as a reminder to check through these points before I hit “post”.

    Reply
  375. Michelle

    Love how you can tell your life “stories” & make me laugh at myself (in a good way of course, going yes I did that & have to admit it)! Thank you for following God’s lead in writing, we have a small group that meets on Tue mornings, we just finished The Best Yes & are starting Unglued (which two chapters in I already love, loved Best Yes as well)! I know this will be one we do as well!!

    Reply
  376. Violet thompson

    Than you for this , oh what an eye openI love them all but No 4 stands out for me!
    God bless.Xx

    Reply
  377. Elizabeth H.

    Pray before I post. It can be anything from a good grade my kids got, to a new vehicle. Praying about who will see and recieve my message and is it something everyone should see.

    Reply
  378. SherryLynn

    Wow, when will the book be ready in its entirety? You are right on track, Lisa, once we begin to change out inner dialogue–changing both the story we tell ourselves as well as the outcome–we can change our life! Seek truth! Blessings to you!!!

    Reply
  379. Monica mead

    so true I have been using these 5 rules for a while now works well for me God bless

    Reply
  380. Tanya

    #4. I pretty much have an opinion about everything. One subject though, which I am completely uneducated about, is politics. Posts involving politics have begun to teach me that sometimes silence is best. I am trying to practice that more both online and in person and I am learning while ‘listening” in instead.

    Reply
  381. Leah

    I am going to practice Pray before you Post. I want my posts to be uplifting not hurtful.

    Reply
  382. Kiki

    I’m not on social media but I would still love this book!

    Reply
  383. Jen F

    I will implement asking God if this is the right thing to say.

    Reply
  384. Gayle

    Thanks Karen. How we need to use these points actively and embrace truth in love always. Good advice can’t wait to read your book and also give as gifts

    Reply
  385. pat t

    #4 ask myself if I have earned the,right to comment on the subject . No use putting in my two cents if I don’t have it.

    Reply
  386. Rachel

    Glorify God in everything I say!

    Reply
  387. Trisha

    This is such a struggle in my life. I’ve slowly been making progress….definetly learning that i don’t need to say everything I may be thinking & thinking & just keeping my mouth shut may be the best thing in a certain situation.

    Reply
  388. carri-ann

    Pray before I post. The other four key points have been lessons learned the hard way…

    Reply
  389. Dee

    This presented information is the very reason why I don’t have a Facebook account right now. In fact I am skeptical about my family members having an account. The guidelines for a respectable Facebook account are wonderful. Thanks for the helpful hints. I may consider a Facebook account.

    Reply
  390. Pam

    I have just recently deactivated my facebook account because of the drama that I had been seeing and how it was upsetting me that people were using Facebook as a weapon to hurt me and others and that was grieving me deeply. I prayed before doing it and God put this on my heart “You lived without it for 48 years and were happy and you can live without it and be even happier” . I followed Lysa on Facebook and had to find another way to follow her as I liked what I was seeing from her. I found an app for her on my phone and downloaded it and I just discovered this. I am not saying that is the answer for everyone I am just saying God showed me was right for me.

    Reply
  391. Janet Goddard

    Im doing my best to implement colossians 4 :5 &6…I’m being careful with my words and actions in the name of JESUS…thx so much

    Reply
  392. Celeste

    Please pray for me. I have your book and started reading it years ago and was still so defeated. I’m going to try it again. I truly feel I need some deep healing but I don’t know where to start and I just keep trying different things praying for revelation and healing, what ever I need to find the freedom and LIFE that I know God has for me.

    Reply
  393. Laurie Golan

    Hi Lysa,
    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. God has gifted you with a wonderful way of conveying what many of us go through but can’t express or sometimes even understand. I appreciate your insights and advice based on God’s word.
    Although everything on your site interests me, the one that really hit home and is most poignant for me is your article on our bodies being God’s holy temple. I have struggled with that for years and used the same excuses that you mentioned. I’ve been able to effectively ignore it until recently when health issues have dictated that I lose a substantial amount of weight. I have been dieting successfully for a month and am asking for prayer to keep me on track and in God’s will on this matter. Thanks Lysa!

    Reply
  394. Terri

    Lysa,

    I need prayer. I need to exercise daily because I have physical issues that I know will get better if I work out. I’ve done it before, but I’m not staying consistent. I’ll go to the gym or walk or exercise at home every day for two weeks and then stop. It takes a month or two of pain to get me motivated to start again. When I am consistent my pain and stiffness go away and my health and strength and attitude all improve. It is an upward spiral of overall improvement, but when I don’t it becomes a downward spiral of disrepair, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Teresa Ray

      Maybe a great way to be accountable is to webcam with a friend who also does excercises early in the day. I think that would be fun. Find the same video on Youtube and webcam your way through to a healthier, happier, cleaner temple of the Most High God!

      Reply
  395. Janice Sylvester

    I view Facebook as another opportunity to share my faith in Jesus. My prayer is that my posts would glorify Him and draw others to Him. I pray that I would always be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit before I hit that post button.

    Reply
  396. Nzinga Julson

    1. John 1:1
    2. Ephesians 4:32
    3. James 1:19
    4. Psalm 28:7
    5. Proverbs 3:5-6

    God bless you all in Jesus name amen

    Reply
  397. Teresa Ray

    Please pray for me to kick the habit (addiction) of smoking. My quite date is the 29th of January. Thank you Sisters!

    Reply
  398. Stephanie Guignard

    Thanks for reminder:) I’m currently in the middle of Daniel fast and want some junk food right about now 🙂 I submitted my eating issue/addiction to God a few months ago and what a difference it makes. I no longer look at food the same. I’m guided by the Holy Spirit with my food choices and of course I ignore it sometimes and my flesh wins. The most important lesson I’ve learned is that God loves me so much that He even cares about my temple 🙂 and praise God that somebody does. It has been abused by putting unhealthy food and lack of exercise for far too long. How I can I be the feet of Jesus when I’m not even well enough to move? Your made to crave book was excellent as well. What I need prayer for is focus and what does “getting healthy and taking care of my temple” look like exactly? I want to keep with the healthy foods long after the Daniel fast is over but still want my junky food sometimes as well.. It’s al a balance but when you start down the cake road, sometimes we go too far to just simply turn around.. Perhaps more self control (fruit of the spirit) would good too and the ability to discern God telling me how to eat.

    Thanks for the prayer and support! Love ur ministry 🙂

    Reply
  399. Angh

    Lysa’s
    Wow sounds like it going to be an awesome book I can’t wait to read it.
    I am struggling right now with a couple of issues. One is have have gained so much weight due to quit smoking 9 months ago I have not been motivated to exercise or diet. I am very busy . I am having difficulty trying to read the word and I feel like I am in a whirlwind and I want it to stop I need some quite time. I try and keep up on devotions. I am also struggling with bitterness at work due to issues that have been going on with a coworker for years. That has involved others and her manipulations to management has been incredible I know if it wasn’t for my faith and praying for the situation things would be different. It is still not right. In the beginning I said nothing to defend myself. I need prayer I feel I don’t really trust people at work. I have been trying to leave this job and get a transfer but nothing is available. I feel that the Lord has been here for a reason and this trial is for a reason. I feel exhausted. I am not really happy going to work. First time in 32 years of working. I feel uneasy that now I look at things differently jumping to conclusion because of what I have been through at work. I am struggling with how at times I feel a justified anger and frustration toward management for not seeing this person for what they are even when I and others have enlightened them on her behavior. I don’t like feeling this way and I have been praying about it. Then I have some peace and then something happens when she talks to me which is work related only, that stirs emotions that I don’t like and that are not pleasing to God. I know I need to change things, they have gone on too long. I just want to get away from the situation and the Lord has not yet answered my prayer. Thank you. It is great to be back in the loop again.

    Reply
  400. Samantha Livingston

    Timely words for this age. And I couldn’t agree more. No matter the age, no matter the changes our culture experiences, God’s word is a balm for chapped ears.

    Reply
  401. Julie Snyder

    what a blessing of a great reminder to take ‘every thot captive’ if I catch it at the thot, I won’t be so quick to speak or post it!!

    Reply
  402. Jen

    Will this message relay Gods love to others?!?!? I think most of us would be on lookers instead of posters if we paused and asked that question before spouting off. Glorifying the kingdom and or encouraging should really be the only reason we post! God bless you all! May we all become silent listeners and Warriors for the Lord during his timing!

    Reply
  403. Donna Welsh

    I really enjoyed that. I am shocked some times of the things are read on FB and how hurtful some people can be.

    Reply
  404. Harvest Millard

    Lysa, I received your email about the “Shut It” book and the scriptures that have been helpful for you. I am an extremely direct person and try to say how I feel without being unkind. I am not often successful. I have noticed recently that I am being offended more lately with the blending of a new marriage and family. I would be blessed by the scriptures you shared in your book “Shut It” as well as your experiences to help me in this same area of life. I don’t usually take the time to try for these “giveaways” or contests but I feel I need to this time around. Thank you for all the writings you do and help you offer because of that. 🙂

    Reply
  405. Sheila

    I went to your website today to find some encouraging words, proverbs31.org always brightens my day. Just being able to receive Gods encouragement in a different way is what, I need every day. When it comes to saying things you may regret later. I have struggled with this for the last few months. I usually have patience and understanding. But, I have so many extra things on my plate. I have recently been getting rid of a lot of clutter in our house, changing my husband’s business practices for the better, and clearing the air in things which involved my family. In order to get back to the less stressed and caring person, I usually try to be. A friend of mine recently reminded me of something, I told her a few years ago. Before you speak or write anything to anyone, Is it something you can say in front of a child. I have started to once again think about this before, I speak or write anything to anyone. I hope to read your book one day. Maybe my family will get it for me for mothers day. We seem to be struggling the last few months. That is something, I am working to change with in the next two months. Taking it one day at a time and a lot of praying.

    Mom of 8 in Texas

    Reply
  406. Mindy

    Always best to pray before you post and before you open your mouth!

    Reply
  407. Amanda McKinley

    Praying before I post has always been my goal but something I constantly forget! Spending time in God’s word (through my favorite blog devotional: Doorposts.com) is the best way to center my heart and mind on Christ and not the world or myself. Thank you for this wonderful reminder. Lord, help me depend on you and seek Your face before I ever post anything to the public. I pray that you would set a guard over my mouth (and my fingers!) before I say anything that could be damaging or hurtful. Help me to listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and not just move forward without thinking. This is so, so hard for me!

    Thank you for this wonderful post!

    Reply
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