I look around the dinner table and feel that desperate ache not uncommon to women who deeply love.
Whether it’s my own family or those who just feel like family, I want so much for them. These young people who are so full of possibility and dreams and bright futures… they have my heart.
Yet my heart feels fragile in the hands of these young people. They are smart. They are grounded. But they are young.
It takes me back to me at that age.
And that scares me.
I remember feeling so grown up and crazy excited at the chance to be in charge of my own life. Ready for independence. Ready for love. Ready for the next chapter of my life.
Chasing what felt good and thrilling, I quickly learned the wind blows in dangerous directions sometimes. Going with the flow led me places I didn’t intend to go. And I woke up one morning ashamed of my choices, wondering how in the world I got to this place.
How?
I cringe thinking back on it. And I cry. Because I don’t want that experience for these people I desperately love.
So, in the midst of the laughter and casual banter, I turn the conversation at the dinner table to a word I want them to know and live.
Pre-decide.
Decide today who you want to be. In this moment of togetherness, surrounded by family, and saturated in love — decide.
Decide what your answer will be when the talk turns ugly and the laughter turns mean against that girl who desperately needs you to be her friend.
Decide what your answer will be when someone invites you to the cool party full of drinks and drugs.
Decide what your answer will be when the boy says it’s no big deal to stay the night.
Decide what your answer will be when “friends” laugh at your Christian views and challenge you to lighten up.
Pre-decide.
Decide today who you are going to turn to if you do get into trouble. Remember, the people at this table. Remember, who truly has your best interest at heart. Remember who you are.
Pre-decide.
Decide today to turn around any mistakes from your past by asking for God’s forgiveness and walking in His grace.
Decide today to ignore the enemy who wants to trick you and trip you and take you out.
Pre-decide.
Yes, pre-decide.
And then we go around the table and tell what we are pre-deciding this year. And my heart feels less of that ache.
I’m not so foolish to think this will act as a bad choice immunization. We are all susceptible. But it is a way to infuse their heart with a memory of a pre-decision.
And with that the plates are cleared, the cookies are nothing more than crumbs, and it’s time to go.
So, I whisper a few last words that are a “best yes” for them…
Go where wisdom gathers, not where wisdom scatters.
Make decisions today that will still be good tomorrow.
And (insert voice cracking and tears welling up), remember how much I love you.
Here are some great Bible Verses to pray for our kids as they head off to school this year:
Galatians 1:10
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
1 Thessalonians 2:4
But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Acts 5:29
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.”
I want to further equip you to have these kinds of discussions with your kids… your spouse… your coworkers… your fellow ministry leaders.
My new book The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands will do just that. It doesn’t release until August 12th, but you have an opportunity to pre-order your copy today and receive $50 of free gifts that won’t be available after release. Click here to get your copy!
Also, today I’m giving away 5 Best Yes bundles – including the book, the participant’s guide, and a cling you can put anywhere to remind you of your Best Yes each day.
For your chance to win, leave a comment below. Who do you want to have this conversation with? What do you want to pre-decide today?
I wish I had this conversation with my step daughter. Now I pray she turns her heart back to God.
Our daughters and the youth group
My teenage children!
I am having this discussion with my three children before they head back to college. As a matter of fact, I’m going to print up this “pre-decision” conversation for each of them to have to reflect on in times that a decision must be made. This is an excellent conversation to have with them as they prepare for another year of school and interaction with people from all over. Thank you for sharing !
I need to have this conversation with myself over and over again…even though I am a grown Christian adult, I am still open to attack from the enemy. Keeping this in mind will help me as my 3 daughters grow older.
I wish I could have had this conversation with my children, but I do get a second chance with my grandchildren. Wonderful words and thoughts to send with them as they face life head on. Thank you for putting in to words what is in my heart.
Oh my goodness – this took my mixed up, worried thoughts about my girls and put them into words. My husband is in the Army and we live in a Eurasian country with 2 of our 3 daughters. Our oldest in college in the middle of the US. I’m going to get all of us together in our kitchen and on Skype and make this discussion happen! Thank you, thank you!
I needed this reminder! This will have to be our family dinner conversation. We can all pre-decide something! I would love this book!
I want to share this with my son who will be graduating from college next month and then possibly moving away and then to my daughter who is going into the 11th grade and getting ready to drive. I would also say to pre decide to love even when you don’t feel like it. And then also pre decide to give grace and forgive. Thanks for sharing these verses.
I’m sitting here reading this and it is as if you are peering into my windows and into my heart. The sounds of laughing and the smell of sweaty boys as my sons friends are over one last time before he heads to college this week. Wow! Thanks for this wisdom.
First I am going to examine my own heart, and begin to have this discussion with myself. and make sure that those things which I’m imparting into my legacy are the same “pre-decision” truths and courageous choices which I would make ensuring God would get all the glory out of my life. I can’t be authentically “Wendy” if I am not “practicing what I preach” in the little details of life. The Word of God says its the “little foxes that spoil the vine.” So in order to be the best God created me to be, I’m making a “pre-decision” to look at my faith walk and my heart, and see areas where I need to come up in. Only then can I begin to have this conversation with some amazing boys whom I’m truly honored by, since they happen to call me mom. Thanks Lysa for always pushing us to the next level, and compelling us to go to the next level in Christ Jesus. Many continued blessings to you! Also, I just wanted to let you know how much Compel Training has impacted my life and ministry. Thank you for being obedient to God and launching this writer training community. It is so awesome!!! Thanks again!
I would like to have this conversation with my granddaughters. However, since they live several states away I will share this with my daughter. When I visit them this winter I will follow up on their conversation. It seems like this would be a better conversation to have in person!
That is what I needed to read. My daughter is heading back to school Monday into 7th grade. It is such am unnerving time as I watch her grow and be influenced by good and not so good things. I pray everyday for her. Interesting to post also spoke to me as I start a new school year teaching. Our campus administration is going through a rough time and everyone is feeling it. Every day needs to be about pleasing God and not those around me. Thank you. I needed that.
I want to have this conversation with my grandson. He is going into a different environment and I want him to be ready.
I am a Teacher for Deaf/HH kids! I have pre-decided to pray specifically for the six of them to see Jesus in me this school year. And for them to make right choices about trying to fit in. And many more things! 😉
I would love to have this conversation with my daughter. I want her to pre-decide that God’s love will never fail her. That He will be with her despite it all. I want her to remember that her friends will fail her, but His love will stand forever.
My husband is a campus minister and I do ministry along side him and work with the college girls. I’m going to have these conversations with my college girls. For them to pre decide that it’s better to say no to the parties and guys because those things will only come with shame, regret, emptiness and could have forever consequences. I want them to look in the mirror and see the precious woman of God that He’s created who deserves so much more then what they are settling for.
Perfect timing for a conversation for my first child leaving for college. It would be good to have this conversation now. Thank you for this encouragement.
Hi Lysa,
Your blog, books and P31 is such a blessing. Thank you so much for letting God work through you in the way He does. I really want to have this conversation with my 19 y.o. niece who is living with us after a falling out with her parents. She is headed back to school soon and I feel there is so much to say, but not sure it will be accepted. But I have to try. Thanks for the encouragement.
This is powerful…for parents of all age children.
I will have this conversation with my two girls…even though they are young, they can pre-decide to be a friend to the friendless, to tell the truth when it’s easier to lie, and to choose to take a low grade rather than to cheat on a test. There are so many areas I want my children to pre-decide in; this post has been instrumental in helping me narrow down what I feel are the most important pre-decisions for this upcoming school year and for their futures. As for me, I will pre-decide to be a mom who is mentally, as well as physically, present for my kids and a wife who is encouraging and nurturing in my marriage. Thanks for the inspiring post! 🙂
Great question to ask my kids at family night this week. Will be reading this posts to my teens.
I want to have this conversation with my son, who’s in middle school, and has had a hard time with peers. I also want to have this conversation with my daughter who will be in middle school next year. I want them to learn these things when they are young and continue to reinforce them all through school so hopefully they will remember. 🙂
I want to have this conversation with my 19 year old niece who is attending a state college and this is such great wisdom to share with her! I also want to have this conversation with my 10 year old daughter (on her level) who is entering 5th grade in a public school. My heart aches for these precious girls that I love too! Thank you for being so awesome Lisa. I love everyone one of your posts and devotions. I always think….I wish I had someone like her in my life that could share such wisdom and truths with me all the time. Then I remember…wait!!….I do!! That is what proverbs 31 does for me, every day! 😉
I would love to have the bundle to use with our single moms group at church that is just getting started.
What a wonderful reminder for all of us…but especially for us to share with our kids. My daughters will head into 8th and 10th grade in just a couple weeks, so I will definitely be sharing this with them and encouraging them to pre-decide. And even my son, who’s going into 3rd grade, would benefit from pieces of this. Thanks so much for your message.
All three of my children…..we need to have this conversation to pre-decide on each of their levels….one in college, one starting high school, one starting middle school.
My son!
I am going to have this conversation with myself and do some serious soul searching!! Life is about moments and our choices in those moments… How much does my life show jesus’ reflection? I think this is a great thing to discuss with anyone we are truly close to and love dearly no matter the age! I seriously believe the younger we install this in our children’s minds and the true importance of clinging to Jesus and making him our rock the easier our best choices come! I have a four year old son and a one year old daughter and I am going to start with them and go from there to my husband to my close family to my closest friends and then from there. Who doesn’t need Jesus and the wake up call that small choices everyday… Cruscial choices everyday do indeed effect tomorrow and our walk with Jesus Christ!!
I will have this conversation with my two young adults. Joseph 16 and Lena 13. They are at crucial ages where they can decide what kind of person they both want to be. I’m going to pre-decide to be the woman of prayer that my bible study group needs me to be as a leader.
I will share this with my 14 year old daughter who will enter high school this year. She is going to a new school with new friends. It is a small school and there are only 12 girls in her class, the majority of these girls do not go to church and comments have already been made to her about her faith. To pre-decide is to be prepared for the likelihood of questions and comments she will encounter, and most importantly, it will prepare her to look for opportunities to share Christ with someone.
It is so hard to see them make bad decisions…. it is so important to have these conversations at times of peace in life and not have to have them in the midst of one of the storms in life! I want to turn this question on myself as well and ask, What will I decide to do to be an example for my girls? I need to be wise with my time. Our time is so short and (especially the American) life can go by so fast…
This was a great reminder….I want to pre-decide to be slow to anger because that is something I have been having a hard time dealing with lately.
I would love to have this conversation with close friends that are in college just as a reminder to make wise decisions that would be glorifying to Jesus.
Thank you Lysa for sharing! Often I am so consumed with DOING for my children (and husband) – trying to meet their PHYSICAL needs -that I neglect the spiritual. I realize it’s not enough to remind them to make better choices but I need to equip them for the task. I would LOVE a copy of your book to help me in this journey. With 2 sons in middle school and a son and daughter in elementary school, NOW is the time to have this conversation with them. Thank you and God bless!!
I was just asking a friend what I should be doing to prepare my son who is going to public school for the first time. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing those specific verses. I am pre-deciding to put aside my mama fears and trust God in whatever my come this school year for me and my son.
This is a talk I need to have with my 14-year-old daughter. I see her struggling to live the values she has been taught in our Christian home, school, and church. The sins of an unbelieving world are calling to her nonstop as she readies herself to enter a secular high school. She wants to fit in, be accepted, be loved. But by whom? The world or the Father? We need to discuss purity in mind, body, and soul.
I love this!! I’m going to do this with my teenage daughter!! Thank you!!!
I need this talk with my 16 year old son and 15 year old daughter. It has been a rough summer with my son battling severe depression and being admitted into a facility and then following up a month later and totalling our car. My daughter has been having a hard time with just dealing with her big brother being a mess…beginning trust again is a hard thing for a young girl. They need to pre-decide to speak words of kindness, love and transparency. We live in a very liberal area of California…total hedonism and anything goes. Anyway, whether I win the book or not, my kids and I need to pre-decide. Thanks Lisa!
Of course, I will have this conversation with my kids because you know, the love. But the person who needs this conversation most in my life is me. Pre-decide to stay focused on God, the ones He’s given me to love & serve and the FEW things He’s asked me to complete this fall. Lord, keep me focused on people vs projects & pleasing You not man. Amen
I want to have this conversation with the sweet girls I mentor and the next group I will gather with. Each year they face new decisions, new challenges, and I am moving away this fall. I know they are rooted deep in the Father’s love and desire Him above all things, but we are human and our hearts wander. His grace is sufficient for us and His power is made perfect in weakness, but His presence is in this book, I know it! These conversations are so important, and I wish someone had started one with me before I went off to school.
I was actually going to gave this conversation with my 15 year old daughter tomorrow and through God’s blessing this email came. I feel that God knew I needed this guidance and sent it to me to answer my prayers. My daughter is bipolar and was raped when she was ten. She has a lot of problems and difficulties and I don’t want promiscuity and drinking or drugs to br added on to them. Thamk you so much for this post I truly needed it. It was sent from God.
Time after time when I read your words it’s as if you are writing just for me. This brought tears to my eyes. I worry about the same things when I look at my kids. I feel like I’m always inserting advice hoping something will stick. I simply love you and I’m so glad God gave you such a beautiful gift and you said yes to sharing it.
Even though my kids are now all grown, it’s never too late to have these conversations. I wish I had known this when they were young. Still, I must have done some things right. I’m very proud of these young adults who call me “mama.”
Thank you for this article!! It spoke directly to my heart as I prepare our four children for another school year. This year my heart aches for teen ministry as well. I have been in prayer over the direction God is leading me with this. Thank you for the encouragement tonight. And for the opportunity to win your book. 🙂
I want to have this conversation with my husband, my mom and her boyfriend who are on vacation
this week. In Lysa’s perfect words, ” Decide today to ignore the enemy who wants to trick you and trip you and take you out” 🙂
Thank you so much. This evening has felt like a war has taken place with my 12 year old son and I am battle-weary. He is a high maintenance kid with anxiety and OCD and one just triggers the other and all you can do is hang on and pray over him while riding his roller-coaster. So I needed a reminder that God has him and has a purpose for him. I will talk about how to pre-decide who he is going to be each day and then pray, pray, pray that he decides to hold onto God as tightly as God is holding him.
Praying for you & with you! We are struggling with our sons also!!! You are not alone!
I can’t wait for your new book!!’ Thank you for your willingness to share so openly and freely. Your recent post couldn’t have been more timely as my oldest child leaves for college tomorrow. Such mixed feelings; proud of all has accomplisents so far (including giving her life to The Lord), but also scared for her and all the decisions that she will have to make. She’s always been a “good girl” but them so was I until I sometimes enjoyed college a little too much. I remember from one of your other books that you told your children when they go out the door to “remember who they belong to”. That has stuck with me and, with God’s grace and love, I can only hope and pray that she does just that. Again, thank you for addressing issues in a realistic manner without judgment but with empathy and love. You are a blessing to many.
I will have this discussion with my 3 sons. They each so easily crumble in the face of peer-pressure. I want them to pre-decide their Christian values prior to being pushed into poor choices, both with words and actions.
My children have already taken wrong paths – in their hearts and minds. They are not serving God with their whole hearts…my oldest son [16 y.o.] has decided he is an atheist AND a transgender person & is really a woman. My middle son [15 y.o.] talks about being a Christian…but his heart is judgmental & self-righteous…. I want to talk with them about “pre-deciding”…but it seems that they have already decided…and they do not seem willing to “un”-decide these poor choices…. All I can do is pray & love them….
I love those verses that you listed.
I really like “pre decide”!! It will apply to my five year old grandson starting Kindergarten. What will you do if someone says………………….?
Thank you for the chance to win one of your book bundles.
Irene
Thanks for posting this 🙂 I have a senior and what a great way to talk to them about making decisions that they can be proud of.
I would like to have this conversation with my husband who is recently retired. His new found time sometimes puts him at risk to spend less time with Christ focused ppl. And, like a previous person commented, I want to have this talk with myself so that I may insure that I too have pre-decided.
I will share with my 13 year old (going on 21!!) that will be entering 8th grade, my 21 year old that is leaving home soon to continue her college education, my 18 year old son that just graduated this past May & just a few days after graduation decided go straight to work….and to my husband as well who has made choices that brought great pain to his family…. I can’t wait for the book!!!!
I am going to have this conversation with the 6 sophomore girls that I lead from my church youth group. They are at a critical point in their teenage years that it is imperative that they pre-decide that they are living as examples for Christ- everyday at school and everyday at home. We talk about this a lot already- being lights. But I love the added intentionality you suggest and label it pre-deciding. My mom had these important conversations with me growing up and I am so honored to have them with the daughters that God never have me. 🙂
What an amazing encouragement to have a conversation with the theme pre-decide! I look forward to talking about this topic with my high school and college aged kids. Thanks for the practical advice!
On a much simpler level, I will have this conversation with my oldest son who is going to be starting Kindergarten this year. I have pinned this post & will re-visit it every year before my boys start school! These decisions are SO important….Thank you! I’m greatly looking forward to this book!
This is an excellent post for us all. We have to predecide before we are in the world to not be of the word. God bless you Lysa for your anointed words!
I so want to read the new book. My kids are both juniors this year. One in high school and one in college. What great reminders these are for them.
I’d love to have this conversation with my daughters firstly, then my nieces whose ears I have. Then a number of teens that I have the privilege of counselling throughout term time. And possibly a group of mums in my church setting!
I will be having this conversation with my two oldest children. My daughter is starting college and my son starts high school.
I am inspired to have this conversation with my 12 year old daughter, entering middle school. Your words resonate with me tonight. This conversation really seems like it’s a must. It is terrifying to let your kids “go”, but equipping them with these pre-decisions, seems like a perfect opportunity to yet again, point our kids to Christ. I am pre-deciding to pray for my children as they encounter all the world has to offer them. Thanks for your heart. Thanks for the chance to win.
I wish when my kids were teens that I had the type of conversation that challenged them to “pre-decide” what to do when faced with temptation or bullying. It is so important to lay a foundation for our youth that will give them the courage and strength to stand against the tide of the world. Now that I have grandchildren, I need to tell them to stand up for Jesus and not be swayed by the naysayers and critics who scoff about their beliefs. God wants us to equip our young people with principles that will guide them as they enter this critical period of their lives. I am thankful that my boys survived the school years but I wish I had been more vocal with my desire for their lives to be filled with God’s directives.
Lysa, this is awesome! I wish every parent could see this and or every youth group pastor! I did pre-decide (love this term) and I am so glad I did… My parents always said “Remember who you are and whose you are” and that meant Christ first and then theirs and I never wanted to disappoint either… I am just praying that my babies will pre-decide! Smart Phones are the loss of innocence now and it scares me for my kids to grow up! We also need to teach our kids that what they Post on Social Media does not go away and to pre-decide on that too! My sister hires college interns for her company and when she gets a resume she looks up the person on FB, etc to decide if she even wants to read the resume or not! I cannot wait to read your new book! Thank you for Who You Are and Whose You Are!
I would love to give this book to all three of my children as I watch them raise their families.
Thank-you so much for your writings. Marion
I want to have this conversation with my 3 daughters, 2 in college and 1 a senior in HS. I am looking forward to reading this book.
Amazing! Exactly the conversation I need to have with my son. I should say “we”, my husband and myself, need to have with him. Teens and young adults can lose their grasp on who they are. Having our ” hearts infused with a memory of pre-decision” is truly God inspired. I feel as if He meant this specifically for me. What a blessing! I need to have this conversation with my teen as he struggles with the difference between who he is and who the world expects him to be. I want to start this conversation with my younger children so that they can be aware of who they are in Christ as they grow and learn. Mom to mom… Thank you. My heart was looking for this.
I want to have this conversation with my step-sister… She’s been sheltered, raised in a Christian home but part of a broken family with a dad that would love to see her shine in the lights of Hollywood and has pushed her since she was little to be a star. I’m not sure how much of her dreams are truly his. She’s not very communicative and is moving two states away to attend college with a few friends. A Christian campus is not a place protected from Satan and I fear her heart may not be ready to say no the temptations she will undoubtedly face: a beautiful, talented girl far from home… Lord knows how I pray and try to trust and not worry. I pray she doesn’t find her way through the dark the way that I did…the way that her parents did…we all have scars and that’s how we learn but, as you said, my heart just aches and breaks at the thought of how the choices I made hurt so badly and I want to protect her from that, but I can’t… So I’m pre-deciding today to stay in touch even if she doesn’t respond. I’m pre-deciding to be on my knees in prayer for her. I’m pre-deciding to offer my heart and my home as a safe place if she needs one. I’m pre-deciding to show love to her and love her through the choices she will make. Praying for the best and trusting God – pre-deciding to always remember WHOSE she is. Love that girl…far more than she knows. <3
I need to help my 5th grade boy that he is going to predecide to have a good school year and be a light at his school.
I think this book sounds wonderful and will be a great help with my 3 kiddos. Thank you, you’re writing is always so fresh, uplifting, but most of all REAL!!!!! Thanks again, Lysa.
I love this idea! Such a simple idea but it is so important to be intentional about asking such a question. I want to ask this question of my twin daughters and I want us all to discuss it as a family because it will be a memory for them to refer to someday. Hopefully that memory will seau them toward the better path that I pray The Lord takes them on. Thank you for sharing!
I’m having this conversation with my freshman as he heads off to high school. I need to conscience to not say yes to my coworkers.
I homeschool my 3 kids, all teenagers, 13, 16, and 18. I pray that I am setting the Godly example for them each day thru trials, sickness and family issues that they pray first, think before speaking and make wise decisions and choices. I am so thankful I have the opportunity to homeschool my kids. It’s not without hardship though. The enemy fights us hard and there are days I could just hide and cry. I know the harvest will come from the seeds that have been planted.
We were discussing our kids going back to school in our small group at church. A couple moms were anxious about their kids going back to school. I’m so glad you posted the Bible versus above. I’m going to share them this Wednesday so they can pray them over their kids.
Thank you for all you do!
I have to talk about or read this to my 2 teens and in a few years to my younger child. I hope and pray they miss the pitfalls on the way to adult hood that I hit and the others I didn’t hit.
I will be having this conversation with my 9 year old daughter. She is at a fragile age and I can feel her already leaning towards following others rather than following Christ. I know her foundation is built and I have entrusted her to Gof, but helping her understand that if she pre-decides to choose to follow Him instead of man, her year in 4th grade will leave her full of joy!
I am pre-deciding to turn all financial decisions over to The Lord from today on, rather than buying on a whim!!
I want to share this with my amazing fourteen year old son. Love those late night conversations. My husband and I just need to ask him a few questions and suddenly hours have gone by. When he talks to us, I feel he knows we will always be a compass when he needs it. I love all my ten kiddos so much and want to help them be confident to have those pre-decided decisions. Loved this post! Shared it with our teen/young adult bible study leaders.
My dear Lysa,
My heart was arrested by your post. As I am preparing my heart and mind for my eldest daughter to go to college in 10 days, I read this post and clung to it like life support. She’s been homeschooled and while she isn’t naive she doesn’t have as much experience in some areas with “how kids can be and how the world is.” I need to share the Best Yes with her because she needs to know that she can and will face hard choices and she needs to formulate her game plan before the game starts. If nothing else, I will share your blog post with her but I will incorporate it in a letter for her to read on her first night alone. When she sits on her bed for the first time with no family to tell down the hall to; these words if yours will soothe her like a cony blanket I pray. Thanking God for using you to share what mommy heart needed to hear and know I am not alone.
I want to tell my kids in elementary school and I’m predeciding to have patience and grace when feeling overwhelmed.
I want to have this conversation with my kids. I want to pre-decide to be more understanding and less leaping to frustration and anger.
In a growing culture of new words being added to our dictionaries all the time i find lysa’s words like ‘unglued, imperfect, unrushed, pre-decide’ to be some of the most meaningful ones impacting my life this year. i stumbled upon Proverbs 31 ministries at the start of the year in a search for a daily devotional. i looked no further as i found it a place to stop and learn daily at the feet of Christ. l can’t wait to read ‘the best yes’!
I will have this conversation with my son who will be a freshman in college. Thank you for these words of wisdom that speak to my heart.
I will have this discussion with my four sons aged 2 -9, and three teenagers who live with me. It’s amazing how powerful pre deciding is. Thank you Lysa.
I want to share this book with my adult daughters, my son-in law, myfriends who are parents and my friends who are grandparents. But I must start with me.
I plan on having this conversation with my teenagers. What a great way to empower them to really think through those tough high school situations! I also plan on sharing my predecisions with them so hopefully they will see that it can be applied to adult life as well. Thanks for sharing!
I will have this conversation with my family. I pre-decide to have more conversations and spend more quality time with my husband and kids, and less time absorbed in mom business.
I would
I would like to have this conversation with all of my nephews.
I will have this conversation with my daughter this weekend. I take her to college for the first time next week…more than 7 hours away from home. 🙁
I would love the opportunity to win our new book. thanks.
I want to have this conversation with my older kids. I have 6 kids – the oldest are a senior, sophomore, 8th grader and 6th grader. These are scary years. We talk so much about not justt being a Christian on Sundays, but living those choices every single day. But it’s so hard. There are apps they want to view and things they want to do because they are cool. My other two children are 2nd grade and kindergarten and in school for the first time as I’ve homeschooled up until now. But financial situations are having me work this year. I think we are all a little scared. But I am determined to have this conversation before school starts Tuesday!
With my 13 year old daughter, who will be starting a new school. A school full of opportunity for growth, but no one she knows. Thank you for a great conversation and excellent verses to print & post and pray over her!
My family is moving to a new ministry. These questions are important for each of us!
I want to have this conversation with my oldest son.
I’m going to pre-decide that we create an environment to have these conversations with our kids and their friends. And that I will not ridicule their honesty or mistakes but love them through it. And have this conversation with my daughters before back to school. Ours are elementary, middle and high school. This article is very timely, thank you!
What a fantastic thought provoking post. I’m thinking mostly of me and me reactions with me kids. I’m a SAM of 3 littles so I know their behaviour quite well. How will I respond? I need to think through and pre decide my attitude for the day.
This is great and right on time. I am going to share this with my best friend who has one entering college in less than a week as well as her high school age son that is going back in a few days. The college age son is going to college just a few miles away from us and will be having dinner with us once a week. You can bet that I will have my “mom” talk with him also. This is great soul food. Thanks so much Lysa.
Thanks you so much for your ministry
Love love love these verses. I can’t wait to sit down with my kids and pre decide….especially as one goes off to live in a dorm at college for the first time!
Lysa,
Thank you for this! I’m excited to pray about how I can have this conversation with my three kiddos before school starts next week. Thank you for your honesty and encouragement in everything you write! You are a blessing to my [mommy] heart!
I will share with my two oldest, whom for the first time are trying the waters of public school … Grateful for work will do in their hearts!
I love the verses you included to pray over my kids. Thank you I will add them to the ones I already pray for them. I’m going to ask these questions to my 12 year old daughter Hailey whose is in 7th grade and where all these things these questions ask start. Thank you.
I love the thought of pre-deciding! My son started junior high (7th) this week. I know he wants to please God and his parents but in the moment of decision it can be hard to make that good choice unless you have pre-decided. Thanks for the reminder to put this conversation on the table.
I wish someone had this conversation with me when I was in high school, so I’m hoping I can have one with my grandchildren. Thank you for your insight and wonderful way with words!
Oh Lysa, this is a convo I desperately need to have with myself (though not in a crazytown “Oh my gosh, she’s talking to herself” way – I may or may not do this on occasion though… shan’t disclose) but just to have a real, soul-wrenching d&m with my own heart. I don’t want to be the girl who’s caught off guard anymore, who just says “yes” because saying “no” or, heaven forbid, going away to think about it *may* offend somebody. I want to be the girl who says “yes” to God first… out of that may wisdom sprout to do away with those reluctant “yes’s”.
I will have this pre-decide conversation with my family!! My husband and our two daughters, Finley (11) and Karli (8). This is exactly the words I’ve been searching for, for our daughters!! Thank you for the verses, Lysa, and your obedience to our Heavenly Father!!!!
My children are only 4 and 1 so we are not ready for this conversation yet. But I have printed this devotion to save and use one day when they are ready for this discussion. Thanks for sharing these very important questions! I want to pre-decide “to turn around any mistakes from your past by asking for God’s forgiveness and walking in His grace.” I think we all struggle with forgiving ourselves and accepting God’s grace. I want to be set free from this burden and open the storehouse of grace and mercy and lavish others with it as God does to me!
I have spent almost the whole summer having this conversation with my 17 year old daughter. She was “all set” with pre-deciding until she actually met that boy who made her heart skip a beat, and until she actually got into a real situation with friends who were pressuring her. This is an awesome reminder that because teens live in the present moment, this is a conversation that has to happen over and over and over.
Everything I have read or heard from you has touched my heart in a way no other author has. It’s like you are speaking only to me. My 4 teenage daughters are my ministry. We have conversations like this regularly. Today I will pre decide to speak words of grace to my family.
A great post!!! A lot to think about and apply. O would have this talk with my boys. They are 14 and 15. They are at a crossroads in there life. Where they have to choose for themselves to serve THEIR GOD not moms God. Looking forward to reading your book
I am saving this for when my children are a little older (they are 4 and 2). Thank you for sharing your experiences so we can help shape ours!
Lysa, very wise words that I want to share with me college age nieces, and even my nephew and grandchildren, 9, 8, 7, 6, 3, and 2…
Thank you. May you continue to follow God’s leading.
As my daughter begins her senior year and as we begin the college search this is my prayer for her. I think back to my life at her age and can only pray that she doesn’t make half of the stupid choices that I made. I am so grateful for this blog to share with her and pray with her. It’s exactly what I wanted to say to her but couldn’t find the words. Thank you Lysa!
Thank you for sharing this sweet moment. I can’t wait to read your book!
Loved this idea and the scripture references! Looking forward to having this conversation with my 6,12, and 14 yr old and hopefully see some light bulbs come on concerning the decisions they will make. “Predecide” will be a new word in our home:) Thanks for sharing!
Can’t wait to share this idea of “pre-deciding” with my four kids, but especially the two going off to school in a week. I love the fact that you state we should pre-decide surrounded by those who know us and love us. This post has finalized my decision to have a back-to-school celebration dinner. We can do our pre-deciding around the table! Love it. Thank for sharing!
I would love to have this talk with my sons and daughter. I want to pre decide that i am not going to follow popular opinion but God only.
I will talk with my daughter and share with my sister.
My kids….one going into public school for the first time!
I want to share this with my 13 year old daughter. This is such a smart way to try to make the right choices. For myself I would like to pre-decide to not get caught up in gossip and competition with other moms and just take care of raising my children the best way I can. I love the Bible verses that you chose for this devotional!
Lysa, thanks for this devotional and a reminder, to me a Grammy, that’s it’s never to late to talk to your grandchildren. One of our grandchildren has already left for college but she will be getting a note from me with these thoughts in it about pre -deciding. Also, we have a junior in high and I will have a talk with her this week.
I have enjoyed all your books and look forward to reading THE BEST YES. I’m sure something in it can even apply to a grandmother.
I am not going to pre-decide what happens on the road of a devasting marriage that is in deep turmoil. God says, “Stay. I will fix it.” I have to pre-decide to hold on to the hope that He has given. I need to pre-decide that God is also the maker of time, and thank Him for controlling it.
Love this! I will share with my two teenage sons. I’m pre-deciding to not fear change.
PS I will share this amazing family conversation with my nieces and nephews, and when more comprehend able my child.
I plan to talk to my daughters. Thanks for the wise advice!
Lysa,
I just had a chance to read this. I can’t wait to share this with my daughter who started middle school 2 days ago. I hope she will pre-decide to be the friend you describe. I am pre-deciding to do the same.
What will I pre-decide? I will pre-decide to not look into what I have to do to fix a marriage that is in turmoil, and has devastated me. God says,”Stay. I will fix it.” Too many additional comments and suggestions are given from outsiders. I have to pre-decide to only listen to Him. I also must pre-decide that God is the maker of time, and I have no control over it.
Once again, God shows me that His timing is perfect! I needed this message today as my 18 year old leaves for college tomorrow. Thank you!
I have a son who is entering his second year at college and five others who call me ” mom” while they are here at college. I would love to share this with all of them.
I have done this with both boys since they were very young. Of course, the matters they are pre-deciding change over the years, but it’s so much easier to react properly in a situation when you have discussed possible scenarios beforehand.
I hope to have this conversation with my oldest daughter who will be 16 next week. She is a bright beautiful caring young lady but has a hard time with feeling unaccepted because of our faith. The school year starting breaks my heart because I know I cant be there with her to remind her what God has done for her when the kids make fun or pressure her to do things that comprise her commitment to Christ.
Thank you for the encouragement to have this conversation. It’s deep in my heart to do what I can to protect my children from making some the poor choices I made. My oldest is 14 so having these conversations with him and his friends is so important right now.
My daughter leaves for her Freshman year this Thursday…Thanks so much for this! Great ideas for a heart to heart with her before she goes. I, too, remember when I was her age, and cringe at some of the choices I made. She has a much better head on her shoulders than I did back then, but it seems like it’s a much more dangerous world out there now. I just pray that God would put a hedge of protection around her, and that she will seek to align herself with His will. Thanks again for this!
It would have been wonderful had someone encouraged me to pre-decide when I was young.
Fantastic advice! Cannot wait to put it into action.
Awesome truth! I will be praying these Scripture verses over my children.
I will share with my kids even as old as they are and I try to pre decide that no matter how bad someone treats me that I will try to let it roll off and not get so discouraged. It’s so hard to live at times.
I am a wife, mom of tow, and a school teacher to twenty children this year. I am leading a bible study this fall and would love to use your curriculum for The Best Yes. I could apply it in so many ways, even at my school! Thank you!
What perfect timing and advice – I will be leaving with my daughter tomorrow to move her into college 13 hours away and my son will be starting high school in a new town in a couple of weeks. As a parent you feel their anxiety, fears, and excitement – plus I probably dream up more worries and doubts in my own head. I love the advice you give about pre-deciding our choices and following it up with scripture – something every one of us could benefit from. Life is a constant struggle between choosing to live for Christ or choosing to live to please others in order to “fit” in. I would love to be entered in this contest to win a copy of your new book – look forward to reading and applying your techniques.
Lysa, I’m crying while reading this today. I’ve used these same words with my 13 year old daughter…”you have to decide before you are asked, because making the decision under pressure will likely lead you to a different decision.” I’m amazed at what can happen at 13…those who were once happy and confident can lose some of that light. My fear is when confidence is low, poor choices are made. I love your wording “Make decisions today that will still be good tomorrow.” This quote is going on her wall today! How true and insightful these words are! I would love to read more from your new book and share with my 13 year old and to prepare for my 10 year old when she hits the teen years as well. Thank you Lysa for sharing your heart. May God bless you.
Lysa, I love this! As my son begins his senior year and we wrap up a Summer of college visits, I am struggling to say the least. I am struggling, because I, too remember this time in my life and I remember my poor decisions. I want so much more for him. It’s hard as a mom to let go and remember this is “his” journey; God’s plan. Equipping him with wisdom and Godly advice, like pre-deciding is exactly what he needs right now. Thanks so much for your wisdom! This season of releasing your kids as they prepare to leave is so hard on my heart!
Having this conversation today, Just as scared for my 3 children as for myself. 3 high schooler makes things hard. The world is always in their ear. Praying for good answers.
This is a perfect conversation to have with the young people at my church. They are full of life, energy, so smart, and ready to tackle anything. However, “pre-deciding” will help empower them to make wise choices when they don’t feel smart, kind or full of life. Thank you for this article!
Great post! My children are middle school age and we can have very similar discussions and do sometimes but I have 3 older nephews who could use the pre-decide discussion though I do believe it is a great family exercise in general. Once again Lysa, you are amazing!! God bless you and your family and your ministry! Thank you!
This was so wonderful, encouraging and of course timely! I want to have this conversation with my 2 oldest boys – one just now entering middle school. And I want to cling to these truths myself so I am guarded from the “mommy drama” that school and activities can sometimes create.
I plan to have this conversation with my two teenagers. My 16 year old son has just been released from a Christ based boys ranch. While at the ranch I know God was working on him yet since his release he has stumbled back into the same mess. I know only God can make his heart whole and make this mess something wonderful, but as a parent it’s hard to let go! My 14 year old daughter has recently proclaimed atheism and will be starting high school. This is the same girl, who at 5 years old, got her mother to start cooking to church
I would love this book for my oldest daughter, she is way beyond high school but has made poor moral choices in which has destroyed her marriage and is tearing apart her 2 young daughters and her whole family. I’m praying God will turn her heart. Mind and will to Say Yes to Him!
I received such encouragement from this great post. Pre-decide. What a useful tool in equipping our tweens/teens in handling much of what they will come up against in whatever circle of influence they are a part of. Thank you, Lysa, for sharing your heart in this post and in The Best Yes.
Lysa, I just had this conversation with the receptionist at the doctor’s office yesterday. She has a son who will be in college for the first time this year. I have have five boys and right now I will share this with my 6 the and 8th grader, but I will share it at a smaller level with my littles. I also have some friends who could use this. It’s so important that I’m going to print and frame this. PREDECIDE – I love it !!!!! BTW, I’m going to PREDECIDE not to pray and breathe before I come UNGLUED the next time.
I will share this advise with my two oldest sons. Sending them off to school can be scary.
I plan to have this conversation with my two teenagers. My 16 year old son has just been released from a Christ based boys ranch. While at the ranch I know God was working on him yet since his release he has stumbled back into the same mess. I know only God can make his heart whole and make this mess something wonderful, but as a parent it’s hard to let go! My 14 year old daughter has recently proclaimed atheism and will be starting high school. This is the same girl, who at 5 years old, got her mother to start going to church ” because there are good people there” she said. If only the love we have for our children was enough to protect them and ensure they make wise decisions. God loves our children! I pre decide to turn them over to the one who created them for His purpose. Thank you for sharing. My prayers are going up
Thank you for this. I want to have this discussion with all of our kids.
CORRECTION: I’m going to PREDECIDE to pray and breathe first. It’s hard typing all this from a cell phone.
I am trying to be the Best Me by always giving Him my Best Yes! Thank you, Lysa, for so many practical ways to do this.
I am a youth minister and I will have this discussion with my students.
I would have the conversation with myself, first of all. Then my son who is at a crossroad.
Perfect timing! (As usual with what you share Lysa). My baby daughter will be heading back to college as a Junior next weekend. I plan to have this conversation this week! Thank you for your ministry. God is truly making a difference in my life through you.
I will have this conversation with my 13 and 16 year old sons. I will pre-decide to spend quality time with my family even when other demands try to pull me away.
I often pray w/ my 5 yr. old granddaughter each morning to “predecide” to love Jesus, be good, be nice to others, share, say “please & thank you, I’m sorry, excuse me”. i say these prayers as we are driving to day care.
I needed to hear this myself, but who I was really thinking of were the youth students that I will be helping to lead this coming school year. I’m so glad I got to read it now so that I can begin the year with the “Best Yes” mentality and help them begin to have it as well.
Thank you for the wise and wonderful advise you provided us to help our kids pre-decide. I plan to have this talk with my son and I think I will write it too; hoping he will keep it in a safe place to reference if (when) he needs to. Thank you for being such a blessing, Lisa!
Just had this conversation yesterday with my 19-year old.
Thank you for the encouragement, Lisa! I will have this discussion with my
children. I pray that all of our children are surrounded by godly mentors
that will keep them on God’s path for them.
Pre- decide, Lysa I love the message and idea here. A wise piece of advice for any of us. Certainly, I will share this with my children and any others I have the chance to speak with. I am planning to start using it myself! Always enjoy your transparency.
I will be having this conversation not only with my kids-who are all entering a new phase in life- Sr, Freshman, 7th Grade; but also with all of my “bonus” kids, & my youth group kids that I get to lead in a discipleship life group. Very powerful convo’s for “equipping the saints”. I so appreciate your obedience & passion for everything that God has entrusted to you! Keep the faith Sister! ♡
Thank you Lysa for your wisdom and love of Christ! I wish I had been as good a parent as you are. You always know the right thing to say or do. My last college bound child is leaving Friday for his junior year. Thank you for your advice and Scriptures. It never hurts to pray God’s Word over our children!
I have two sons, 25 and 19. This talk has to happen again before my youngest leaves for his sophomore year at school. My eldest and I exchange emails that touch on these topics. Oh how I wish I’d been more purposeful in having this conversation with him! THANKS for writing the book, if this is a taste of it! My bible study friends and I will be reading it as soon as we receive our order – we decided last week over pizza! Keep writing – it feels like you’re writing JUST what we need. Thank you!
Great post. I sent it to my daughter who has two teenage sons. One son is starting high school in a couple of weeks. The Idea of deciding before is so true! Looking forward to your new book!
I started a neighborhood Bible study several years ago for the ladies that live around me. I have already forwarded your post to them as they prepare to send their young children off to school this year. Great words of wisdom!!! I would love to use your new book for our next book study! My children are grown now, but I personally will continue to remind my children to pre-decide before they are at a crossroad to make a decision. I will also share these ideas with the ladies I lead and the young lives I teach at school! I pray our Lord blesses you and your precious family beyond measure!
Thank you for your words of wisdom! I’ve often thought if some of my poor choices would have been avoided is I had pre-decided or even had a similar conversation with my parents. I knew what was right and wrong, but did not always predetermine my boundaries and choices. My children are 9, 10, & 11 now. I am looking forward to sharing these words of wisdom with my husband, so we can have a have this discussion this weekend!
Today I am going to pre-decide to take a deep breath and calmly respond to my children when they have chosen to disobey and appreciate and acknowledge them when they choose to obey.
My teen/young adult kids, of course, but even more myself since I recently decided to quit my job and now have opportunities to reinvent life in some important ways.
Thank you Lysa for writing such amazing words to live by. I have never read a book and reared up by the second page. I can’t tell you how many times I read and story and thought … Is she reading my mind?? I can’t wait to dig into your new book& start my first online bible study with you all!
God bless
This is exactly my heart for my children! I am so thankful you have the gift of puting it into words. We had a similar discussion with our 11 and 13 year old boys last night…about thinking about wise choices before the situation appears. About not having to fit in with a crowd or trying to please friends over God. There was a tragic accident in our community yesterday where there were 3 deaths of children, maybe 4 between the ages of 13-16. There was no alcohol involved, just careless driving with loud music. This hit my fear on the nose. We cannot be in control of every move that our children make, but we can invest wisdom and love into heir hearts and minds. Thanks for another tool to help us do that. God bless!
Absolutely love this, and the timing, as always His timing, is perfect! Good for young and old!
Such an encouragement as a woman thinking about starting a family but terribly afraid of the pressures of this world.. Thank you!
OH what a wonderful message Lysa – THANK YOU! Our school is starting in a few weeks, and with everything that has been going on in my family for years now, this is something I can actually do! Tonight we will have a SIT DOWN dinner and just talk! No tv, no electronics – just real talking. I can’t wait to see what their answers are!!! As well as MY answers! I can’t expect them to respond if I’m not willing to start the process!!! And I will start with – pre-decide how I will respond when my kids are all yelling and fighting – and although I need to work on this and pray A LOT for this to happen- to remain calm! don’t yell back! Yes I am an #imprefectmom
Your message is not just something we can share with the kids or young adults in our lives. It’s a good reminder that it’s not too late for us, as adults, to make these same decisions and have this conversation with ourselves. Looking forward to reading your book and sharing the message with others.
Lysa, pre-deciding has been on my heart lately. We recently made a big move. We are surrounded by new neighbors with different world views. My husband and I are having to remind ourselves to pre-decide who we want to be so we don’t just follow things that can lead down a dangerous path. This is also something I see my kids needing to be aware of as they make new friends. Thank you so much for this Truth, for encouraging us to stay focused on who we are in Christ and to live from that foundation. It is easy to dabble in things that seem innocent at the time, but that can lead down a bad path if we are not careful. I am so thankful for you and the whole Proverbs 31 team!! 🙂
Thank you for this. We can all benefit from this devotion at any age. When we go to work, volunteer, sports and any other activity that we take part in. I plan to share this with my family at dinner when we are all together.
I am going to have this conversation with my teenage son & daughter.
So glad that I read this. Thanks. I am going to share this with my daughters and their friends.
Great post. Thank you so much.
I want to have this conversation with my 4 precious daughters (ages 19, 17, 15, & 11).
I want to predecide to consciously live in God’s grace, loving Him and others with the knowledge of Who He is and all He’s done, not holding myself or others to standards that put us, rather than Him, at the center.
Thank you for this wonderful giveaway also. 🙂
Oh, how I wish we had had this conversation with our boy before he went away to school in January. It’s so much harder to try to parent at a distance. I have the prayers for my son that you published on my refrigerator door that are a comfort and I know God has a plan for this young man’s life. I pray every day that my son will turn to God for direction. Thank you for your ministry!
Thanks for this devotion Lysa! I have thought back over my past many times and always wanted a way to better equip my two daughters to make better choices than I did. This is a wonderful suggestion and I can’t wait to have this conversation with them!
Thank you Lysa. I am in this exact place right now. My daughter graduates this year from high school and my son enters high school. The time has raced by me. I want to pray with my daughter to pre decide to choose purity. To choose life and to not receive the negativity and skepticism of some of those around her. I want to pray with my son to pre-decide that he will honor Jesus with everything he does as he enters high school. I want to pre decide that I will cherish every moment with them.
Thank you for this message today. It’s confirmation that my husband and I have been sharing what the youth needs to hear. We have been consistent in telling them we love them and are always a phone call, text or email away. Thank you for the continued encouragement to share from the heart.
Girl, you make me cry. This is in my archives and will be used more than once. Thank you for being so transparent and helping other parents how to take that first step. Thank you, thank you. Blessings to you and yours that are going in different directions this school year.
Lysa- oh this rings so loud in my heart!! I am printing this and sharing it with my youth group this Sunday… thank you for this. For giving me the platform from which to pray with and guide the teens that so desperately need our encouragement and prayers.
I too, cry at my past. I wish I had this when I was young and carefree and restless… I wish I had such Truth to cling to, and strength to draw from.
I will ensure my kids- both at home and in my ministry will have it.
Thank you for your encouragement. I will be having a talk with my daughter this week as she starts high school. Your guidance is so very helpful. Blessings to you!
Thank you Lysa! I needed this, for myself. It would have been wise for me to apply my pre-decisions. But today I will pre-decide to pre-decide and then live it again and again! God bless you and your ministry! You are definitely a blessing 🙂
Thank you Lysa! I needed this, for myself. It would have been wise for me to apply my pre-decisions. But today I will pre-decide to pre-decide and then live it again and again! God bless you and your ministry! You are definitely a blessing!
Lysa Thanks so much for sharing! I have loved being a disciple of yours by reading your prov 31 devotions daily. Send them one to people all the time. Thank u for this ministry.
My husband and I are with Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ..) and my tendency is to run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, very Martha type A 🙂 being a people pleaser in ministry it is I really hard for me to say no, especially to things I love in ministry. It’s like I am a glutton for punishment and I cringe after I say yes, thinking •Now, why in the world did say that?”
I really need this in my life right now, and I loved the devotional on 5 things to look at when making. Decision. Thank you for this mentoring in all of our lives. I would like to start a group study on this (if The Lord tells me it’s a “yes.” 🙂
I want to have this conversation with my toe toddlers and with the girls who will start coming through the doors of our camp at the retreat center one day. I want them to hear that predeciding isn’t about “not beingopen” but rather being “grounded” in truth that didn’t waiver. I want to predecide to put aside comparison amongst women in the mission field and to predecide that there is no other human being on this earth that should get more face time and more attention than my other half (husband).
Great words of wisdom as school begins this next week for so many of us here in Raleigh Area!
My mother is in Heaven now – but she taught me this long ago, and I often hear her saying “decide today the person you will be tomorrow – because the choices you make now, will have a big impact on many tomorrows!”
My mother is in Heaven now – but she taught me this long ago, and I often hear her saying “decide today the person you will be tomorrow – because the choices you make now, will have a big impact on many tomorrows!” So, I am trying to teach this to my daughter’s!
I have 5 children, one starting his third year of college and has made very wise choices so far, my second son is leaving in a week for college. I would have this for him and the three children following. Thank you for writing this.
In a world full of confusing choices, multiple voices, and way too many options, I’m excitedly looking forward to learning from ‘The Best Yes’. I feel like I really need this!
Lysa, I love your writing. You are so open, honest and real. You just tell things in a way they reaches hearts. It’s too late for this conversation to my children or even grandchildren, but I have great-grandchildren who this might help one day.
My daughter is going off to college in 10 days, and as I read this, my voice was cracking and my eyes were welling up with tears, in exactly the right places! Thank you for this reminder, Lysa! <3
Truly needed this renewed vision today. With a son who just started junior high, a daughter in 11th grade and another beginning senior year in college with her own family;these verses will be our weekly memory work! Thank you!
My daughter and son. It’s so easy to get caught up in what everyobe else is doing especially if their parents condone it.
Oh how I needed this today! With four children going to school this year this article has helped me “arm” myself with the words to start this conversation. We will be having this family meeting tonight!
I need to help my daughter focus her mind on the right place as she prepares to go back to school
I want to pre decided to be a mother who teaches
Her children truth. Love God and love Family.
My Mom had a verse that she had hung up in our
Home growing up. “I have no greater joy than to know
My children walk in truth.”
Thanks for this encouraging post! I so want this for all my kids even though I only have one left in college I believe my older kids can also benefit from this as well as all of us even though we may be adults now. We can pre-decide how we are going to react to the situations in life we face every day & how we can be a positive example to those around us in pointing them to Christ! Would love to win your “Best Yes” bundle to share with those I love!
I just spent my Friday nights with my daughter and a group of junior high girls going through Lynn Cowell’s book, His Revolutionary Love, because I want so desperately for her to predecide to follow God and find her identity in Him alone and choose Him. It was a big step (where I had to be willing to sacrifice something in order to gain something) in the right direction to open the door for more conversations.
What great encouragement for “back to school” planning! Yes, we will have this conversation at dinner. “We” as in me (mom) with my 14 YO daughter and 12 YO son. Pre-Teen as he likes to call himself 🙂
With my 16 yr old son who just rededicated his purity to Jesus until he’s married at Mt. Zion Christian camp. I’m so proud of his decision & the man I see him becoming 🙂 Your books are so inspiring to me thank you for being God’s vessel.
Thank you so much for a chance to win your great book, I can’t wait to share these great resources with my daughters, and I would love to share with my mother and sister, I really think my mom would benefit from your great book, she seems to have a hard time saying yes to some of the things I think she deserves, and always says no to.
I want to discuss with my kids the questions thoughts above especially as one is now living with roommates that will have different values as she does her last year of college. I almost feel a lot of these discussions are too late. I want to pre-decide that when someone is totally running me into the ground (daily basis anymore) that I will ignore it and try to focus more on God and His peace than the hate around.
I will have this conversation with my 10 year old son as he enters 5th grade. I pray he continues to make the good choices he is known to make. I pray he is a good influence for friends snd those around him and see his light that shines so brightly.
Sharing with my three daughters (11, 7, and 5) … I pray they pre-decide to bless someone every day and to remember what we have to be grateful for despite the struggles of late. I pray we all learn to set and keep boundaries with ourselves and others to do God’s will for our lives.
My daughter, I want to pre-decide to stand firm in my faith no matter the circumstances.
Thank you for this post!
I want to share this with the young people I over-see in the ministry I work with.
I want to pre-decide to trust God as my family walks through some challenging things.
will have conversation with girls 16-18years during a convention on 14/8/14..thanks alot
I want to have this conversation with my kids. My oldest is just going into 1st grade. But I know these kinds of discussions will need to come all too soon. I’ve wanted to homeschool to protect my children. But after many conversations with my husband we are going to continue in public school. So I’m
Pre-deciding to trust God with their lives and to not spend my days worrying over them 🙂
I love your writing! I want to share this with my sister who is going into her 2nd year of college & also with my children. I want to pre- decide to trust God with my family & myself and to not try to control every last thing that happens around here.
I want to have this conversation with my children and with myself. It’s something we all need to not forget to remember 🙂 when you start your day with the right decisions already made, how could your day not be better than before?
My son is starting kindergarten. I will be having this conversation with him, even now. I know that Jesus will not be part of the curriculum, but I want him to remember his faith and to know that Jesus is always with him.
My four precious children, but also myself! I need the reminder to be prepared when decisions that can lead me astray need to be made.
My daughter, and myself. I am so looking forward to reading and learning from this book!
I’ve been having weepy moments for the past month as my oldest becomes a high school senior, my son starts high school, and my twin girls continue on in middle school. I so want them to choose “the best yes.” I would love to further this discussion with them with the guidance of your book and tools.
I want to have this conversation with my girls. I have never thought of or heard of pre-decide and wow! I like it. Thank you Lysa for sharing your life..you are so real.
I would love to have this book for my daughter and myself. My daughter is going to be a freshmen this year and I would like for her to be better equipped to make decisions to stand firm in her faith.
Lysa, your posts so often feel they are written just for me. I’ve just spent a summer at home with my three babies who are growing up way too fast. I will have a ninth grade cheerleader this fall and a seventh grade football player. They are beauties but so vulnerable and sometimes very fearful….of taking risks but also of what people think. I have a ten year old who needs a shield against that mean girl era that’s beginning…and both ends of that. Life is short but at the same time the school years are such a small picture of what lies ahead of them. I want to keep them little and as I feel I lose the control of deciding things for them, these conversations around the table are sooooooo vital.
Thanks so much for this post. I will share this with my son who is turning 11 in just a few months. Pre-decide…such a great thing to share! Love your ministry!
I Plan to share your blog with our son, heading off for his second year of college. Thanks for the message!
Would love to win the bundle! My daughter is just 11, but in middle school now. We discuss girlfriend troubles and kindness right now, but she will soon have weightier decisions to make.
I want to have this conversation with incoming college freshmen that will come through our doors the first few days of college. I want to help them think through the concept of pre-deciding and who to turn to if those decisions don’t always happen.
I want to have this discussion with my soon to be first grader. This is the first year she will be in school all day.
I would like to share this book with my 11 year old son whose starting middle school next week. We all know how difficult those years were. It would be nice to have a good resource behind me when having those difficult discussions. I pre- decide to be a Godly role model for my son no matter the cost.
I so wish I would have this discussion with my son two years ago when he left for college in Chicago. There he was, only 18 and we dropped him off at his apartment, went back to our motel and cried. Two years later he returns home broken in spirit and soul. He has made bad choices, alienated himself from his true Church friends and his family. Everyday I lift him up to our Father to proctect and save as my tears have run dry and he is no longer allowed to live at home until he changes his way. I’m not making the same mistake with my youngest. He is only 15 but we pray together everyday and open our dinning table to discussions about choices, life, and our daily walk with God. My oldest son will be blessed as his earthly father and I love him and his Heavenly Father is always looking over him….it may take time but it is in Gods hands.
I have two wonderful boys I would love to share this with!
I want to have this conversation with my college sophomore son & my three precious grandchildren. I pray that they will not make the same mistakes made by my two older children.
My children are raising children of their own, out grandchildren, so I am going to send this to them. For me, I have just been given a wonderful new job and I do believe it was directly from the Lord….it has includes getting to use so many of the creative gifts God has given me along with working with a wonderful bunch of women….But you know that Satan…he will try and find a weakness even if you are loving what you do… I am deciding to praise the Lord and thank HIM daily ahead of time, each and every day, so that I can be all joy filled up when Satan tries to attack and throw his darts of doubts my way…(such as you aren’t smart enough to do that or what if you don’t do this perfectly etc…..) Thank you for this awesome post Lysa!
I would have this conversation with my 8,7,6 and 4 year old. Such wonderful wisdom. So good. Thank you! I am going to predecide to be their best momma and his best wife. And not to worry so much about what others may think and say.
Oh, this is so good!! My sweet girl is 14, heading in to high school … Thankfully, surrounded by beautiful Godly friends in our classical homeschooling
community. Thank you for helping shape some ideas I’ve had in to words … And love the scriptures you shared.
We host a youth night each month. This is so timely because tonight is this month’s night. I’ve been praying about how to better incorporate God’s word and principles that are relevant to them into our monthly gatherings. Thank you for your post today!!
WOW! This touched me and brought me sobbing to my knees. How I wish I would have pre-decided so much in my life when I was younger. Our kids are only 5 and 7 right now but this is definitely a devotion I will carry (and save) with me for when they are older. Thank you Lysa, today and always!
As I raise two girls, 6 and 2, I already feel the pressure of today’s culture on them. I pray that I am their strong Godly role model and equip them to pre-decide. Thank you for your wise words.
I will have this conversation with my daughters some day. They are 9 months & 3 years old…but I know it will come sooner than I think! The Joshua passage spoke to me today: as for me & my household, we will serve The Lord!! Great reminder…thanks.
So timely – my only child – a daughter – leaves for her college freshman year in less than two weeks. I shall have this conversation with her. Thanks so much! And, Id live to read your book!
Thank you so much! I need all the encouragement I can get being a single mom of 3 teens! (:
Great timing for our family:
13 year old daughter entering Freshman year in high school
& 20 year old son starting 3rd year in college, but first-time in an apartment with others!
My son and daughter. As a single parent, I am terrified that my children will follow the footsteps of their father. I struggle daily with modeling good choices and pray for my kids that they will trust God in everything they do. They are so precious and innocent and I want to protect that with all that I am.
I want to have this conversation with my daughter. and I want to be a better example to her of what a Christian woman should be.
My son and my daughters!
The many women in my village. I know we all feel this way about our daughters and sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes doing my best doesn’t feel like its good enough. They deserve so much!
Wow! This is good stuff and I would love to share it with the youth group. I did not have Christ in my heart until I was 40. Plenty of wrong decisions…
My brother and the new college crew. That they would decide now to follow Christ wherever He leads them!
I lead a life group/small group of young women. (I’m the Titus woman of the group.) I pray they pre-decide, that they not get to busy for God, that they not “settle” for anything less than His best. I pray this same thing for my college-aged son and his beautiful girlfriend.
My daughter. As she begins her Senior year in high school, so much awaits her. So much of the world is hers for the taking. This message is so important for her and her friends as they journey forward. I have spent 17 years providing her with the knowledge and the home base as God’s grace. I, too, am scared for her and don’t want her to go the path that I did at her age. While I am so blessed and so grateful for all that I have today, I wish someone had shared this with me when I was her age. I am so excited to have your book for her, but also for me! Thank you for your precious God-driven words each day!
My 6 children. I am pre deciding when I become anxious or fearful to turn to The Lord and put my trust and faith in Hom!!
I would love (and I will) to have this conversation with my 15 yr old daughter. She is an only child and has recently be diagnosed with anxiety and often has panic attacks. Last Spring she was in an awful situation with an older boy and lacked the know how (pre-decision) to make an empowered decision and was coerced and manipulated into doing something she knew was wrong. We often talk about situations and we think our children are equipped, but having the discussion and a pre-decision may have helped her in that moment. She has since suffered PTSD and depression as a result and trying to cope with his actions as well as her decisions. I hope this book will give me the tools I need to not only help her now, but for her future as well. Thanks so much!
My older son will be a senior this year and my younger son will be a freshman. These words are so true and need to be spoken! I would love to have your book!
I would have this conversation with my 16 year old daughter, 24 year old son and 7 year old. I will predecide (love that phase by the way, great) to ‘think before I say yes to tasks asked of me, this is a BIG deal for me as I consider myself as a reformed ‘people pleaser’. To also predecide to put my ‘best yes’ first. Really looking forward to the book release on 12th August.
I am going to have this conversation with my 15 year old daughter. She has been questioning her faith lately; however I am seeing my believing young girl starting to return. This is the most perfect conversation for me to have with her as she and I will be headed out on a big girls trip in the car in a couplew weeks. Your posts normally inspire me but this one touches another portion of my heart that makes me tear up thinking these choices she will make in the next couple years will possibly effect the rest of her life
My 17 year old son and 20 year old daughter! I predefine to model patience for my kids.
My Grand-daughter & Grand-son. I pre-decide to pray more for my Grandchildren.
I need to have this with my new college student. Both my college students really. Can always reaffirm this thought.
I think my 15 yr old daughter does really well dealing with today’s drama that teenagers are faced with daily. I worry that I don’t always have the right words to say to her when she confides in me about her friends and boys. I pray that God will guide us both in the right direction. Then maybe it won’t be so stressful when her 2 younger sisters go through the same things.
Such a timely message on the blog today, as my youngest leaves for college in just 10 days…thanks for sharing. Also can’t wait to read your new book!!
My husband is a school teacher and I would love to share this blog with him. It is applicable to us as a married couple and his students.
What a great and inspirational post. Remind me of myself and I would love to have that conversation with my sons and my nieces. Unfortunately my nieces live in another country, but my two little ones will soon
have that conversation with me. Also I just want to remember every single day of my live that what I need to do is to please God not man…. No matter the situation…
I would like to have this talk with my 21 and 19 year old granddaughters. Grandma Lola just isn’t in the 21st century is what I hear a lot.
I love this! I have a new teenager and my heart hurts when I think of how much I love him and want to protect him but know that he has to find his own way. Praying that he will do want is pleasing to God and always try to make the better choice.
I will share this with my daughter as she begins 8th grade and a group of college freshmen I taught for 6 years. We are in an all-out war for our kids, and I believe conversations such as these are a valuable weapon against an enemy who is out to destroy them!
I will have this conversation with my children and hopefully, if I get the chance, my nieces and nephews. Love this!
My daughter and her friends!
I want to instill this great message in my three young children so that it will guide them always! But I also feel that this trying message applies to me as an adult. Even as adults we need to pre decide what our answers and decision will be so that we can middle the correct actions for others. Thank you Lysa!
I want to share this with my 6 year old grand daughter, who I just gained custody of. I want to teach her how to infuse her life with the best yes… Starting now…. While she is young. Because I failed to do so with my own children.
With my son and daughter, preparing for another year in college. What a inspiring encouragement and God’s timing for this post. Thank you. Lysa, may the Lord continue to use you to encourage all of us as sisters in Christ.
My youngest daughter is about to start her junior year of college. Because she goes to school in our hometown we often have groups of her friends over for dinner. This blog resonated with me because it is exactly the kind of things I think about when they are gathered around our table.
With my son and daughter. As they are both young adults some bad decisions have already been made but pray that they will choose to decide from this point on to follow Christ.
I want to have this conversation at my own dinner table with my five children and again in my jr. high and high school girls Sunday school class. Wow! How it could protect them from so much heartache and regret!
I would love to have with my daughter.
Thank you for this!
Thank you for your books and your obedience to Christ. Thank you for being yourself and not pretending to be perfect. Your last 3 books have been such an encouragement to my life.
Thank you for this post! This was as much for me as it will be before sending a son off to college and daughters who will be in 10th grade and 5th grade. It helps to encourage me and I know they will be too with a decision already madewhen faced with the hard choices.
I thought I am the only Mom fearful of another school year…afraid to release my kids again to the world of the unknown. Thank you for this reminder and the prayer verses, I need them desperately to cling to.
I want to be able to have this conversation with my boys and with my nieces. For me, I want to pre-decide to respond in love to my children when they come to me with big issues. Always love.
I will have this conversation with my two oldest boys going to 3rd and 5th grade <3 I am also forwarding it to the Campus of Crusade staff team (we were once on staff!) at the University of Tennessee. Thanks Lysa!
Thank you for the reminder to gently lead our children and to nurture them in godly fashion. Subtle changes I’ve seen in my daughters since transferring to public school, have made me ever conscious of the spiritual battle they fight each day. I want my prayer for them to always be, be brave and strong in the might of the Lord!
Thanks Lysa for your timely words.
I want to have this conversation with my son. His is beginning his junior year in high school, and I want him to pre-decide to continue to be a Jesus follower. Thank you for the wonderful words you have shared that help make these discussions easier.
My daughters. I don’t want them to make the same mistakes I have.
For myself. As a young adult this is something I needed to read today. Thank you.
I want to have this conversation with my sister. She is in her early 20s and just moved away from home on her own… she is being faced with a lot of tough choices right now & some crises of faith… I have been there myself and want to spare her some pain. 🙂 Thank you!
My beautiful daughter
I can already tell this book will be amazing! I’m 19 and so I don’t have any kids of my own, but I would definitely love to equip myself with the wise advise this book has to able to help and guide my niece and nephews as they face the world.
Thank you for this blog! As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I am once again greatful for these words of wisdom. As a young teen, i had a heart to please the Lord but slipped away. At 17, I became a teen mom. No one ever talked to me about pre-deciding or walking away in the face of temptation. And now 16 years later, I have recently become a single mother of four amazing children, that will be empowered to pre-decide!!!
I want to have this conversation with my son who embarks on the journey of high school in one week. I want to pre-decide that I will trust in God and not my own understanding when the bumps occur along the journey, and to know that God’s truths that have been instilled in our son will still be the foundation that reminds him during tough times that God is in control.
I read this post and I think of my 18 year old daughter who is about to leave for college. I am reminded of all of the wrong turns in life I took and it scares the ever living day lights out of me for my child. Yes. At 18, at 80, she is a Still my child. I am thankful I came to know God before she was born so I could raise her to know and love Him but she is young … She is Naieve. She is too trusting. She is everything good. My fear? Not everyone in life is the same way. I appreciate so much this post. Talk about Perfect timing. God is so good ALL of the time! Thank you. ❤️
I want to share this with my daughter who is in college and also the teenage children that I work with at church. I really enjoy reading your books and God opens my eyes to something new each time I read one.
Pre-decide. That is it exactly. I can’t wait to read this book. I want my children to be empowered to know where they want to go instead of just going along with whatever is happening.
I want to have this conversation with myself, first and foremost!!! Then on a different level, with my daughter starting kindergarten…and eventually with her starting middle school, high school, college… This mama thing ain’t for wimps, huh?!?!?
I would like to have this conversation with my boys. Even though they are young, I still think they can apply this pre-deciding to their lives. It is just so important in today’s world, to know we are honoring our Lord in our daily decisions! I will pre-decide to be the wife, mom, and friend God has intended me to be.
I predecide to teach my children to stand for truth. I want to share this talk with my son who’s about to start his Senior year of HS.
I want to have this conversation with my son and my step children and my Precious Grandchildren. I pre-decide today to walk with God and show others Christ in me.
My sixteen yr old daughter whom we recently have learned has made some poor choices and is trying to walk away from us and all we have done for her- God is the healer and redeemer of our hearts and we are praying for our little girl but firm on our family values and rules built upon our faith in our Master!
Thank you Lysa. I would like to have this conversation with my 14 year old daughter. Next, with God’s direction, i am going to pre-decide to better equip my daughter with more home devotions and perhaps a bi-weekly gathering with her cousins and friends.
Thank you for this! I’m having this conversation with myself so that I can choose to finally let go of past mistakes and know that I am forgiven because I have asked for forgiveness. I can finally let go and serve God and not try to always please man but serve The Lord with all my heart.
I am a Mom to four kiddos, two of whom are new to the dating world, and it has been a tricky time for their Dad and I. We want to let them know we care and want them to make the best choices, without them feeling like we are nagging at them. Balancing school, sports and “significant others” is a challenge!
This is a great message for all of us!
I would love to share this with our youth group. My husband is a youth pastor and our kids are pretty scattered throughout 5 different school districts. It makes it harder for them to lift each other up throughout the week. I love your message and I think it would help them so much.
I’d love to have this conversation with my son. He’s 14 and entering high school in a few short weeks. My mama heart is so torn with wanting him to grow and mature and wanting him to go back to being little again! 🙂
Everyone- including myself! My words need taming. Too often I let my emotions get the best of me. This sounds applicable to kids and adults in all stages of life!
I would love to have a conversation with my daughter. Some of our family and friends are not saved and do not follow Gods word. I want to be able to teach her what it means to be a child of God and live her life for Him even though there are others out there that are not. This world is becoming such a dark place. I would love to also teach the kids at my church. We need to teach them to be Fishers of Men as they go out into the world!
My kids who are heading into 3rd and K. Too young to talk about some of the things mentioned but want them to pre decide who the are and what they will do in situations that apply to this school year. Thank you for the scriptures in this blog post!
I want to have this conversation with myself and everyone that I love including my husband and two children. I want each of us to pre-decide every day what our attitude is going to be and how we are going to react and respond to everything that comes our way.
I want to have this conversation with my kids and for me too!
My daughters and anyone else who will listen! I could have written the same words. My heart aches for young people, especially my daughters, because I don’t want them to make the same mistakes that I did. And my heart worries too, but the way to fix it is to train them in the Lord and pray.
Wow this is so encouraging to read as we’re gearing up to start school. I will have this conversation with my three children as they prepare for a new year. Also feel this is a very important conversation to have with our youth at church as my husband & I work with our youth group. I pre-decide to be a mother who shows her children to always seek Him first & everything else will follow. To always love others the way He first loved us even when it’s hard to love others. To let them know it’s okay to make mistakes but to learn from them & move on. To show them nothing is impossible when they put their trust in Him!
I look forwarding to having this conversation with my children. We homeschool but I feel that it is still important for them to learn/understand the importance of pre-deciding.
My 11 year old cousin has been with me one day a week this summer as a mommy’s helper. I pray that before the summer is over her and I will be able to talk about this!
My daughter, her bff who is like my second girl child, and anyone who would listen.
My dear friend who is getting married on September 20 , 2014. I want make sure as she enters I to her Marriage that she has pre decided to put God first.
This is a beautiful thing to do, and I love the idea and the way it’s worded. Thank you for the scriptures too. I’m always looking for scriptures to pray for my children. 🙂
This is a conversation I need to have with my two boys as one enters middle school and the other high school. Like many others have stated in the comments, I so wish I had decided differently at their ages. However, I am thankful for God’s continual pursuit of me and His great redemption.
Just because I’m not a youth and am 37, doesn’t mean that I can’t pre-decide my future. We are all sinners and still need to repent of our sin and ask Gods forgiveness whether we are young, middle aged or senior adults. Tomorrow the devil will attack just as he did yesterday and today, so we must all pre-decide what we will do, be and choose in our future.
Hi. I would so love for my niece to receive this message (pre-decide) into her heart and mind. She has made some very poor choices the past couple years (as I did in my late teens and early twenties). She is beginning college in a few days and none of us seem to be getting the message across to her that God can and does forgive and that she can begin again to make the God-honoring choices. I hate to see her continue to lie and manipulate because I know the grief, shame, and heartache that will follow her. Will you please pray for her? Thank you. God bless you.
I will share this will my precious daughter who just started her fourth grade year. Even at her young age, I’m recognizing how she’s facing choices daily that she must pre-decide: being a friend to a new student, showing compassion to a friend that is having a bad day, reaching out to someone to include them in the group when others have said not to be their friend and exclude them, to not gossip about fellow classmates; recognizing that if they’ll talk unkindly about someone else to you— chances are they might do the same to you too, showing kindness to others even when they have excluded and hurt her feelings, about words she’ll use or not use (even though she’s hears them throughout the day from classmates @ school) … Pre-decide…
Lord, help us as we raise this precious child!
Thank you so much for this very timely message. I want to share this with the young people in my youth group. We have a small church with a small group of young people age 16-23 and then there is me…single and 32 but I grew up with these kids (and their older siblings) and I really feel a calling to be their friend and mentor. I really love that word “pre-decide” and the verses you shared. I am excited about our next meeting when I can share with them!
Want to discuss this with both my daughters. I want them to decide how they will handle the pressures of being in college and the challenges they will face.
I will share this with all of my children, who are 14, 10, 9, and 7.
So important.
I want to share with my granddaughters. I have the privilege to have on in my home every morning so we will be having a devotion with these scriptures.
I want to help encourage my 8 year old daughter to pre-decide who she wants to be. I, too, cringe when I think of all the decisions I wish I hadn’t made. It is reassuring to know that I can make a difference and be pro-active by discussing her future with her. This post is such an inspiration, thank you so much for all you have done.
I wish to save this for my precious granddaughter who will be faced with her best yes in a few years. I believe in the power of Jesus Christ and as His daughter, it is my duty to share Him because He is my best yes. Today I pre decide to walk in His Righteousness all the days of my life.
My daughters who are going to be a senior, sophomore, and eighth grader this year as they make decisions on who to hang with and what to do with their friends especially my senior who is making college decisions. My husband as we watch our beautiful daughters grow way too fast and what we will do as we become empty nesters and have just the two of us in our house again. My kindergarten teaching team as we collaborate together and make the decisions that our best for our KIDDOS not the mandating adults.
Yes. This conversation will be had with my hubs and sons. Thank you for providing this guide. His love…
I’m an FCA leader at the middle school where I teach, the leader of an 8th grade girls Bible study group there, and also a mom to two boys ages 7 and 10. I’m thinking this conversation could be had with all of them. Thanks for the idea and the scriptures to back it up.
I will have this talk with my two young children. They need to pre-decide to love others but always do the right thing.
I’m the administrator at a Christian school. I want to have this conversation with my students.
I want to discuss some of these things with my daughter. Girls can be so mean and I want her to choose the right thing. (Even when it’s hard.) Pre-decide…what great advice!
I am going to have this conversation with my daughter who is about to turn 12. She is going through a lot of changes right now – mentally and physically and I really want to guide her to make good decisions. I pray she hears my words! Thank you for this post today. It’s just what I needed. I can’t wait to get started on “The Best Yes”!
My husband and I spend lots of time talking to our teenaged kids about making Godly choices, so I love the idea of “pre-deciding.” And I am always looking for new scriptures to pray over our kiddos.
I am a mother of 3, whom I hope am able to be a voice of reason when they face challenges. If I am able to plant a seed of knowledge it will grow within them.
I would like to share with my children, and also with my Moms & Tweens group for moms and their tween girls . Pre-deciding to make Godly choices. I also love the extra scriptures!
As a teacher starting a new year at a new school in a new position, I want to have this conversation with my son, with my students and with myself. I say myself because as a teacher I know that I am a student that learns from her students and colleagues every single day. I left a job with a public school after praying for years about the choice to leave and what Gods plans for me were. I put all my trust in God that he would provide for me and now I will be starting a new school year at a Christian academy.
I am pre deciding to entrust all that I am to Gods plan for me and to teach my son and all my students Gods love through my actions and words this year.
I would like to have this conversation with my college-age daughter and my high school-age son. My prayers are there, but I often wonder if I am praying over them the way God wants me to.
I want to have this conversation with my 14 yr old son who went to live with his dad and changed schools in January. He stays his freshman year this week. I dint see him every day now. I worry about him. He gave his life to Christ last year and was water baptized on mothers day. I still worry. My pre-decision is to make time for God in daily devotions (something i tend to slack on and to take time for scripture with my 9,7, and 5 yr olds daily. I’m going back to college full time and my husband is leaving to work hundreds of miles away. Life needs my best yes right now! Bless you Lysa
With my first heading to kindergarten. And to pre-decide to always keep my priorities in line despite the busyness!
I want to have these discussions with my 2nd grader. I don’t ever want her to have to carry around the burden of regret for decisions made. I have had to work backward in my life to become the woman that God wanted me to be because of some of the choices that I made when I was young. I love the idea of pre deciding!
Breaks my heart when I think about what my grandkids will have to go thru. I would love the book to help me stand with their parents to teach them to be strong In The Lord .
I will share this with my grandkids!
I will be spending some time alone with my daughter who will be leaving in one week for her second year of college & I plan to discuss this as well as with my two children in middle school. Thank you for this, I talk to them every chance I get but put off more serious talks; I have been planning some topics to cover soon….I will add this!
This is a conversation I will have with our two youngest children, one leaving for his first year of college and one beginning her senior year this fall. (Tears welling up for sure!) Life is tough for our kids and we need to do what we can to equip them to be on their own. Thank you for the scriptures. I want to pray these over our family in each stage of life. Thank you, Lysa, for sharing your wisdom with others. What a Godly mom you are!
Great reminder! My son is starting seventh grade and will need all the prayers he can get! I like the idea of pre-deciding. Thanks!
I have two tween daughters and a son facing the evils of this world and I work tirelessly to arm them with tools to protect their spirit. Kids and parents have to be smart and aware. I also lead teams in teaching vulnerable children who have been traumatized how to feel safe and whole again. When that safety had been lost it is hard work to build it back up. I would love this tool in my tool belt to support me as I work to guide our children through this crazy and still wonderful world. I love the positive approach vs “don’t”.
All four of my grown children. Pre-deciding is lifelong. I need to pre-decide too!
I want to have this conversation with my daughter who will be a senior in high school this year! I remember all to well my senior year and finding out I was pregnant a few months before I graduated. I’m going to pre-decide to commit her life to prayer each day and pray that I’ll be wise in communicating and guiding her.
Thank you for this post! We have three children (ages 8, 6, and 1). I can definitely use the “pre-deciding” concept with my oldest two in conversation as we prepare them for school starting back and choices they will have even at their young ages. Thank you also for the scriptures to pray over our children!
With our son who will be going into first grade this year. And to pre-decide to trust in the Lord with all my heart, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances.
I want share the best yes with my friend who is going to college as a freshman! I know that she will be faced with many challenges!
Most pressingly, I’d like to talk to my 12 year old daughter about this.
I want to have this conversation first with my beautiful daughter who turns 13 in 6 days. Then them tooth that I teach at church. And from there done others in early adulthood that feel they’ve already fallen too far from God’s grace, but who I know there is still for in His Strenghth. So many people. Thank you, Lysa. You never fail to speak to my heart. ♡
I will have this conversation with all 4 of my children. I love the way you word this whole passage and how intentional your conversation is. Thank you!!
My oldest daughter is starting Kindergarten in a few weeks. My husband is a youth pastor and I teach 2nd-5th graders @ church. We come across many families who would benefit from this conversation, as well as our own family.
I took my firstborn to college today. I will have this conversation with her soon! I will emphasize … Decide who you want to be. And I will encourage her to make decisions that will still be good the next day. We have trained her up in The Lord, and now it is her time to walk that path. Thank you so much for this timely message!
Sometimes…many times….when I think about what a great responsibility it is to be the Mommy of 3 beautiful little girls & the wife of a great man & minister I get overwhelmed with it all. So much responsibility…so much opportunity to fail or foul things up. I have been reading your “Unrush Me” e-mails & been thinking for a long time how I don’t want to be so busy that I miss it…miss that moment to connect with my beautiful daughters, miss that opportunity to minister to someone I know or even a stranger, miss the whisper of that “Still, small Voice” because I am too busy with my agenda, plan & checklist. But how do I do that when productivity is so ingrained in me & often slowing down seems very unproductive. I’m very interested in reading your book & learning what you have found from your process of “The Best Yes”.
I SO want this book!! And I can’t wait to read it and share the wisdom with my daughter.
I would love to read this book and share it with my children.
To my children and their friends, ages 15, 17, 21 and church youth class ages 13-14. Thank you for your post!
I would love this book for my soon to be 12 year old son and myself. I was a teen mom I had the wild upbringing and I want better for my son. I tell him my mistakes but this book will give me direction as to how to approach the topics. By the grace of God I’ve changed my ways and life and I am continuing to over come obstacles. I always think to myself if I had the right guidance as a child and young adult would I have done things differently so I make it a priority to teach my son to predecide. G-d bless you Lisa xoxox
Pre-decide…great advice for all of us. Takes the spontaneity out of difficult choices. I intend to apply these lessons to conversations with my young daughters in the future.
I want to have this conversation with my daughter, Cassie. She stars high school in 2 short weeks and I don’t think I could be anymore terrified than I already am. I was a wild child and went down some terrible, awful paths and I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did. I want to pre-decide today to trust in The Lord with all my heart and all my soul and to give him control because I cannot do this on my own. He has a big plan for her and I just have to continually pray that she will follow that path and that she too will trust that God is bigger than anything that can happen over the next 4 years
My youngest will be leaving for college in two weeks . I have been praying for him to remain close to God and I’ve prayed for his future roommates and friends also. Several months ago Proverbs 31 ministries had the prayers for your son post and I wrote that down and I pray that prayer everyday! I will also have this pre-decide talk with him! Thank you for sharing this! Our young people are facing so many challenges and temptations and we have all got to PRAY for them!
I wish I had seen this before sending my daughters off to college, but we’re always praying over our children, right? Thank you for your honesty and transparency. It’s so east to think that others have it all together, but there’s comfort in knowing we’ve all made mistakes and that our children aren’t perfect. Love reading your posts.
With each of my 5 children, especially the oldest as he begins his first year of college.
Id love to be able to sit around the table with my husband and our children for this conversation. My kids are grown with families of their own and my husband is with Jesus. I’d love to read this book, share it with my children and grandchildren….
I want to share with my almost 16-year-old triplets. Already read them the blog about pre-decision. We have very good communication but it is sometimes hard to find the right words.
what great advice! I’m going to talk to my two boys about this, both in elementary school. I am going to pre-decide to always ask myself if I am doing something for man or for God.
My youngest son (20 yrs.) has been struggling with his life decisions since he was a high school freshman. He left our home to live with “friends” over 1 year ago and although I am so grateful that he still visits and attends church with us periodically, my heart breaks that he chooses to hang around others who don’t belong to a church or profess to know Christ. My son has struggled with acceptance and tends to make life hard for himself. He is usually open and willing to have heart-to-heart discussions with me about life and his faith. I’m praying that something like this might come into his life and speak to his soul.
This is such a beautiful post and this next geberation truly needs people in their life that care enough to share their heart and what God has taught them in the trenches. My son will head off to college in a little less than a week. We have had a hard journey as a family and he has become an amazing young man through it all. We will have this conversation over coffee. I will pre-decide to reach out to others to have this conversation with!
Even though my oldest is just starting school, she can make choices according to who she knows she is…yes, her & I will have this conversation!
With my daughter which is starting college soon and my son which he will be a daddy next month
My son, Kyle, who will be leaving for college on the 16th of this month. Pre decide to wait until your wedding day. It’s God’s plan. <3
I want to have this conversation with my daughter who just turned 18 and son who is 13. I have many past decisions that I so greatly want them to avoid in this life. Today’s peer pressure is unforgiving and as a mother it is my job to guide, assist, teach and love my children as GOD has entrusted me to do.
My husband is a youth pastor and I want to and am going tonshare this message with our girls that are leaving for college in a week, as well as our younger students. And I want to pre-decide to speak life to those around me. Even when they might make it hard to do so.
Wonderfully written. My daughter has recently transferred to a 4-year school and my son is beginning his career. I’ve always encouraged them to make “wise decisions.” Pre-decide – great word. I have several nieces and nephews who could use this word, too. Pre-decide about partying vs studying, drugs, sex, the value of your reputation, the value of your word, are you going to follow God or flesh??
Several years ago, I heard you speak at a women’s conference at my church and your testimony was such a refreshment to my soul. I bought several of your books and would love to have this one!
I absolutely love this word which will now be a part of my vocabulary with my preteen daughters. I’ve somewhat talked about it but could never put it into words. Pre-decide…I can’t wait to build this concept in more depth with them
Thank you for this post. Just had a discussion at bedtime with my 7yr old daughter about staying strong in faith even when those she meets at school or elsewhere tell her things that could make her doubt her faith. Wish I had seen your post and used the words ‘pre-decide’, but I’m sure we will have similar conversations like this one until she is ready to go out on her own. Looking forward to reading your book.
I want to continue to have this conversation with my youth group. I also want to have it with my grandchildren as they grow, planting that seed a little more each year at the level they can understand. It is never too young to start. i can teach them to pre-decide their choice of what to do when another child takes their toy or mommy asks them to do something etc. I can’t wait to read your book. Thank you for your openess and encouragement every day on my facebook.
I have a son who will be a senior in high school in a few weeks. He is looking at colleges and considering what area of study he will concentrate on and where he might get a good education in that field. I have placed him in God’s hands over and over thus far, and your encouragement to pre-decide is a wonderful way to begin a discussion about what matters in life and about who we want to become. Thanks for this word, Lisa.
I will have this conversation with my dear children. One is already in her 20’s and my son is almost 17. I will also share this email with my dear cousin who has a daughter that will be almost 18. All of them special young people that we love so very much…
Before if had my babies I was a junior high pastor. My last 8th grade class are starting their senior year. Still close with a handful of them, I am aching to share this new word with them. And I will be praying these verses for my little as they start their own adventures in kinder and preschool!
I want to pre-decide (moving forward) to be a kind wife & mother who speaks only life-giving (or no) words to the husband & children God has given me. I love this word “pre-decide” and will use it with my 3 children. Thank you.
Our oldest will leave for college in just 2 short weeks. I feel like we have talked about making wise choices so many times that we probably start to sound like a broken record
Thank you for the verses Lysa! I want to have these conversations with our 3 kids, and feel the particular need to have them with our oldest son who is leaving for college in a couple of weeks. I will pre-decide to make time to start my day with the word. No matter (or especially) if I think my day is too full to take the time out to do it.
My daughters and any of their friends.
I’m deciding now to live to please Christ. I’ve lived too much of my life trying to please others, even my mother who died 24 years ago. During those 24 years, I’ve raised my girls, kept my house, and worked or volunteered with the thought always at the back of my mind “would Mom be poud of what I’m doing?” And too often hearing a critical voice in my head letting me know what I could do better.
My daughter starting high school my boys 10 & 12 and my 5yo. Such diverse areas to prepare for.
This is the conversation that I have been having with both of my teen age boys lately. I like the way you put it though and gives me a new way to approach it. Both have made some good decisions as well as some not so good ones. It is good to remind them to decide to let the mistakes and bad choices of the ast year go and to walk in grace as they choose or pre-decide how they will face those same situations this year. Thanks for the great words today.
I will have this conversation with my sweet daughter who’s going to be 13 in October and she also will be in middle school this year….I know 7th and 8th grade for me were horrible, I was lost, I had no direction in life and I made some horrible choices. I sure wished I would of had Jesus in my heart back then. I Pray my daughter will remember to conform her life around God’s plans for her and not this worlds wicked plans.
Thank you for all the bible verses to keep me in peace as I send my oldest daughter to her second year of college, my middle child to her junior year of high school, and my baby daughter to 4th grade.
Thank you for the verses. I want to copy them so I can use them when I pray for my single son. I’m looking forward to your new Bible study coming up!
I need to have this discussion with my two daughters and others.
I am currently a college student right now and I have had a mix of encounters with what you discussed. Thank you for the friendly and godly reminder of predeciding my choices in life and to live a godly life. I hope to share this conversation with my friends and I pray that I can be a positive light in their lives.
My husband and I adopted three children from our local DSS and they are so broken. I will share this with them. I know God has a plan for them and they are with us for a reason. Thank you much for this! I will pray these scriptures over them and share this message with them.
My children, family, friends, neighbors. Whoever will listen as God leads the conversations and opens the hearts to hearing about His great love as well as choosing the best yes in my own life.
I have four daughters, now that my husband has accepted Christ as His Lord and Savior, i want to make sure we maintain an open heart and mind to receive God’s guidance and wisdom to be the best example to our girls. Everyday is an oportunity to model to them what difference it makes when we have Christ in our hearts and i pray that they genuinely desire and persue their own personal relationship with God so that we may continue to be a light by serving and bringing others back to Christ. Thank you for the scriptures to pray over our children!
Our kids are grown, but this is so needed. If I win, I will pass on to a friend with 10 kids! No kidding!
Thank you for this timely and meaningful post. Even with boys entering Kindergarten and 2nd grade we have been having some “Pre-Decide” discussions using the devotional “Sticky Situations.” It has been encouraging to me as a mother to hear them come up with God-honoring ways to handle tough situations before they’ve even been faced with that issue in many cases. A family devotional along these lines would be simply awesome coming from your ministry! 🙂 Thank you for all the encouragement you give to us as women and mamas!
I want to have this conversation with my daughter, Ella. She is only 11, but is in middle school this year. I want her to make good choices and always remember who she is-a child of God.
My daughter leaves for community college tomorrow. She is ready for her new life. But, like you said sshe is youngand this is so good! Cant wait to share the verses!
I will have this conversation with my two sons who are in high school. Oh how I pray they will pre-decide! Thanks for your insight Lysa!
I want to pre-decide and pray these things over my family. My husband and I had our first daughter two months ago, however I don’t think it’s ever to early to start these conversations..,these are the conversations that should be revisited throughout our lives as situations change…it’s important to have that reminder consistently in our lives.
I will have this conversation with my oldest daughter, starting kindergarten on Wednesday. Today I want her to predecide to put Jesus first, to serve Jesus always, to trust Jesus always, to love like Jesus always, and to ask ‘what would Jesus do?’ in the difficult situations. More than anything, I pray my girls love like Jesus does, and trust Him. I am going to discuss the hard situations, what the right decisions are at those times, and pray my girls come to me when they are troubled.
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you to my amazing life group who sent your message to me to help me create dialogue between me and my 5 children bUT especially for my 15 year old daughter who’s so called friends broke into our home, killed our little dog and stole our car. These friend are convincing my daughter that they didn’t do anything even though we have photos from the stores where they used my business credit cards…our daughter is allowing people to make her decisions and not choosing for herself the path God has planned for her. I NEED ALL THE Help WE Can GET SO I Am looking G forward to your new book.
This afternoon we will move my son into his residential high school dorm to begin his senior year. I am up praying and ran across this…how very appropriate and God-sent!
I would like to have and have indeed had already this conversation with my youngest daughter but we mix like oil and water and since I’ve said it, it cannot possibly be right. Sometimes, she will believe it has some merit since I have scripture references, but for the most part it simply does not sit well with her if it comes from my mouth. I use every opportunity to teach since we homeschooled for so long before she chose to return to public school in the ninth grade, but sometimes I wonder if the lessons have always fallen on deaf ears or if I just failed as her teacher/mother. But I will share this post with her and maybe she see the merit there since I didn’t write it. praying for mine and yours~ andora
I will be having this conversation with my 13-year-old adopted son Christian. He is not too interested in church and God so I have to feed him God’s wisdom in small doses. He is an 8th grader this year and starting to mature but in many ways he is still a child and really needs the guidance in this book.
I have a daughter who is a Senior I have this conversation with often. She is deciding on her next steps after high school. My desire is for her to predecide that she will keep her values as a Christian. Finish school focus on her goals. The Best Yes for the best her.
I do want to have the younger version of this conversation with my kids. They are 5,7, and 9 so their decisions are a bit different right now. I love the concept to pre – decide!!
I serve in a small church with 24 high school teens. I remember the same feelings of hope for hope for the future. I had a Sunday school teacher when I was their age help us girls to pre-decide what I wanted in a potential date/mate and it kept me from a lot of regret. I want to continue to have this conversation with the teens I serve with (and my own) but with the phrase “pre-decide.”
Thank you for these verses. I am already praying for my two girls (ages 3 and 13 weeks) that they will love The Lord and of course for myself as I try to be the best mom I can.
My daughter is going into 7 th grade and I want her to predecide her choices ! Don’t want her to make the same bad choices or others I made in my younger years.
I want to share this not only with my 13 & 16 yo but with my Sunday School class of middle schoolers.
I have a three year old and a nine year old and feel like I’m already having these types of conversations with my 9 year old..
Praying for my teenage son as he goes into 10th grade, that he makes good choices.
I want to have this conversation with my middle schoolers, my high school son, and several of the marines and sailors we hold close right now at this duty station.
I manage a home for homeless women and children, that is owned by my congregation. We use this home to help women to know God while they get themselves and their families back on their feet. I want to share the “Best Yes” with them. When they’ve out of our house into their own house, my prayers are that they remember who God is and continue to follow Him
My daughter will be at a local college for her senior year this year and we took her to visit colleges this weekend for application next year. My youngest started a new middle school this year and my son starts a new job. Thanks for sharing this. I lived the regretful early years as well and I’ve always thought if someone had just told me there was another way my life could have had much less regret.
I pray this over the lives of my three wonderful blessings from my heavenly father and my wonderful husband.My oldest daughter leaves today to begin her sophmore year of college, my.middle daughter starts her freshman year of college in a week and my son will begin the 7th grade. However, I not only will share this and pray this over my own family but to the parents of their closest friends and to their friends themselves. What a great ministry we have within the walls of our own homes if only we would take the time to see it and dedicate our time to it. Thank you for posting this an may these words be used for the protection and leading of many.
Pray for my 12 year old daughter and my 9 year old daughter. Lord, open the conversation – help me speak into them about your favor and not their peers.
I want them to pre-decide YOU. This mom also is pre-deciding the same for her self. Help me to be an example of choosing Jesus instead of favor from people pleasing.
Wow this is so powerful, went straight to my heart you had read it Thank you Lysa, for your wise words and scripture and to my sister Kendra, for sharing it! We can never pray enough for our loved ones. I have two teenage boys, Blake and Joshua . I pray that good role model will be in their path to stumble over, especially some male ones…they have lots of female ones. I remember some scary things that happened to me on my first 2 years being independent, and I can only thank God I survived them. I pray that when they are making their decisions they listen to their gut instincts…they have good ones, but sometimes the devil is so busy tapping on your shoulder you don’t listen. I pray for all of my young nieces and nephews and my grandchildren to remember where their soft place is to fall. Not out there, but in the circle of love and family.
Eventually, my kids, but, right now, every year, my husband is a Summer Camp Director, and I get to be Camp Mom to all the high school and college kids we’ve hired for the summer. They have such fire after seeing God work all summer, and this sounds like the perfect challenge! Love them! <3
My husband… He’s just finished his masters degree and will be starting on a new career path… And my children… Going into grades 8, 7 & 5… In a public school system that is changing and challenging our faith everyday.
Wonderful wisdom. Wish I had pre-decided!
My children are grown but have grandchrilden with the same concerns for. Every home needs this book.
My daughter, who is going 13+ hours away to college and my son, who begins his sophomore year in high school. We have had similar conversations, but I love your use of the words “pre-decide” and “the best yes”. Thank you for the verses, too.
I want to encourage my daughter entering pre-k to be a good friend at school, stand up for herself and others, be kind and love everyone. I want to pre-decide today to always practice what I preach! Make sure I’m being the example I want her to follow.
I remind my children all the time as they walk out the door to my good choices. What a wonderful idea to walk through some of those choices with them and help them to pre-decide their future! I love it! Thank you!
Can’t wait to share with my 21 year old daughter who is moving to Peurto Rico this week, my 17 year old son who will be a senior in high school and my youngest daughter who is 12 in 7th. They all will encounter many choices soon… Predeciding to make better choices myself for a better attitude with gratitude. Thanks for your Christ driven inspiration!!
I have one that’s a sr. in college and one that’s a jr in HS. Last school year was very tough on all f us, especially our son (11th grader this year) who was challenging his boundaries. At times we’d thought we’d “where have we gone wrong?” We spent a lot of time on our knees and w/ our pastor. Things are better but I am nervous about the approaching school year. Our college daughter struggles w/ school but is pressing on and leaning on God. We didn’t “pre-decide” even though we both knew better coming from strong Christian homes. We were pregnant at 17. Our oldest is now 21 and we’ve “post-decided” I guess you’d say, after a few rough years, that nothing would separate us – we’ve been married 21 years. I work in the public schools and it’s challenging to live out your faith – but I do. I pray that my kids will continue to follow Him and we will be the parents god wants us to be.
Thank you for this post! I love the Scrioture you included and the intentionality of having intimate conversations with our children. My kids are entering K and 2nd grade this year, and I will be talking to them about pre-deciding!!!
Can’t wait to read this book!!!
My daughter, my best friend, leaves for school in two weeks. All her friends, my other babies , are slowly trickling away to all parts of the state and country. I am almost overwhelmed with anxiety for the many decisions big and small I know they will face. I pray that her faith will continue to grow and be strong enough. I am going to encourage her to pre-decide. Wonderful advice.
I want to have this conversation with my 14 yr old daughter. She has been the victim of various types of bullying all throughout middle school. In just over a week she starts school as a freshman. She goes to school at a small Christian school in the next town over, we’ve been there since she was in1st grade. Not much has been done over the past three years to help or support her. As a matter of fact she even feels like she’s a target for one of the adult staff members. She started out showing the bullies Jesus at every turn. Now her heart is a little hardened but she’s made great strides in healing over the last few months, physically and emotionally. My prayer for her is that over the last four years of her school career she can pre-decide to stand and not crumble when she is teased or persecuted for her beliefs; that she can stand when she sees someone suffering like she did; that she can step out from under familial/generational curses and not become dependent on alcohol or drugs at any age, let alone a young age. God’s hand is on her, always has been. I hope she seeks Him in everything like she once did.
I have one heading off to high school this year, and I pray he avoids all the missteps I made.
I would love to have this book. Both my son and daughter have big changes ahead as they transition to high school (son) and middle school (daughter). We have only been in this community a year, and they are still finding their way! Thanks!
My four boys,husband, myself. As well as any chance to witness to others!!
Going to have this conversation with my 15 year old twin sons and the carload boys I frequently drive around. So much wisdom in pre-deciding and having those friends who can help you stick with the decision.
My husband and I lead the youth group in our small church. We hang out with anywhere between 5 and 15 teens at least once each week and love on them and try to inspire them to set themselves apart from the culture. We will be hosting a “Back to School Shindig” in a few weeks and will be sharing some of your wisdom with them. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us!!
My children. My oldest is heading to the Marine Corp, and he needs to hear this. The 3 younger ones (11th, 10th, 7th) aren’t so young anymore. This is a great conversation guide for us; thank you!
My two girls – and any other kiddo that comes to my house…..and there are a lot!
A young woman from our youth group who is heading off to her first year of college!She is off to change the world and she needs protection from the world changing her!
Everyone who God moves me to share it with. I love God, he is awesome.
Both of my kids have transition years (one to college and one to HS). I plan on having this conversation with both in some form. Thank you for this message today.
Looks great! I’m not in school anymore, but all you reminders are excellent for me. I need to pre-decide to not let fear make decisions for me, to let things go, to do what’s right for my family no matter what those around me are doing.
I have 4 children, 3 of them teens, who always need encouragement to be strong in the Lord and to stand for what is right in God’s eyes. Drawing those boundaries, making good choices, and pre-deciding to trust God and do what is right is so important. School starts in 2 days and there is even more pressure. Thank you for this.
How I would love to sit at your feet and soak up your wisdom with the Word!
Myself, my husband & my two boys…:)
I would like to have this conversation with my teenage sons, their high school friends, and their college friends. My husband and I have been thinking about starting a college age group. We want to help keep them on track with fellowship and the word. We see the stats and are afraid for our boys (two of which are in college this year) as well as their friends. We don’t want to lose them to the statistics. We want to arm them the best way we know how.
I need to have this conversation with my oldest son.He is right around the corner to stepping out on his own.I hope he will be encouraged to always stand for Christ and be bold in his faith.
I need to have this conversation with some of the women I know with pre-teen kids. Mine are grown, but I did this with them! I will also have this conversation with some of the youth girls I will be discipling. I will pre-decide to stop living to please other people and live to please God. I worry too much about what people think of me.
My wife and I desperately need this book. We have a daughter leaving for college in a week and a daughter who is a sophomore in high school this year. I wish we’d had this book years ago!
My children!
I couldn’t have been more blessed then to come across your page this morning. Everything you speak about is as though your speaking for me. I can’t explain how much this means to have another empathyze in everything I think and feel and have te need to explain to my two most precious gifts, my daughters. My oldest is going back to school, 2nd grade this year and it’s never to early to teach them the way of The Lord. The conversation about pre decide couldn’t have been more perfect! Thank you for that! Often my life is wrapped around crazy and it’s nice for me to be able to get closer to god as often as I can and you did that for me this morning! Thank u!!
Love! I think this is true of anybody going into a new situation or a next chapter in life not just going away to school. I know exactly what you mean when you say your heart aches for them. For me my heart aches for them but it also aches for the younger version of me. Thank you for this beautiful blog.
Thank you for the scripture…..I was just praying about this since I had a conversation with my 8th grader about dating and choosing the right mate. I think I am going to put some of this scripture in his room,he was so open about it with me too. I want to guide my children and help them pre decide and understand what their answer would be when a girl says it’s no big deal to stay the night or it’s playing with their mind or emotions.
Myself, my children, and friends need to pre decide as we encounter worldly challenges daily.
A little off topic but today I pre-decide not to let my emotions rule my actions.
I want to have this conversation with my Grandchildren, some of them are entering Middle School and I want them to be prepared. Thank you for your devotion today..
I want to have this talk with my boys, 14 & 10.
My cousins are going to be Freshman in College. One is leaving and one is staying close to one but they both will encounter difficulties. I want to ensure they will be safe so I am going to talk to them!
i wish we can all pre- decide all the time and make decisions based on God’s word
Life would be a lot easier.
I definitely want to have this conversation with our 4 kids – we have the opportunity to be the light to others with starting the conversation in our own home and then taking it outside of our home. We are moving out of state this month….so new changes ALL around us, there is no more perfect timing than this!
I have a daughter in her early 20s who gets this concept and has pre-decided. I have a son in college who faces difficult choices ahead. I have a group of 11 – 12th grade girls at church who really need to hear this and need to pre-decide.
I have two teenage daughters…I am blessed to have a wonderful relationship with them. We have had conversations where we role play difficult situations…but I love the idea above!
My son is 13 and going into the 8th grade. Last year of middle school, growing into a young man!
I pray his heart will choose the right way, his mouth will speak the truth, and his actions will show love.
I have a daughter who has become pregnant out of wedlock. Neither her dad nor I have met this man. It is our prayer that she not enter into any further relationship with him as he was married at the time and did not tell her. She used to be a God fearing young lady who was always involed in church events and was very close to God in her personal life. It is my prayer that she return to God and I wonder if this book could help her in an endeavor to say her best yes. But mostly, please pray for her to turn this relationship over to God (she still lives at home) and please pray for us as her parents to lead her on the right path with God and support her. Thank you for listenting and praying and for your awesome God inspired devotions.
This is such an amazing idea. I made some bad decisions in high school so when I got to college I made some promises to myself to be different. I had some mistakes so I love what you said about asking God for forgivness and grace. But I feel it is important to steer back to that original decision with God’s strength. I think it would be powerful to have them write it down so they can look back in those moments of temptation. Plus include the Bible scriptures so they have God’s reassurance through it all.
I have my 18 year old daughter who is going awAy across the entire country to college and I would love some advice and guidance on what to say to her to prepare her for what challenges lye ahead. I also have 2 boys in junior high that I think would also benefit from this as Well. Help us pre- decide
I will have this conversation regularly with my children and my spouse. Love this idea, so simple but so powerful!
Love this! I think I’ll start the year with my Jr High small group leading a discussion about “pre-deciding.”
Looks like a great book. I want to have the discussions with my kids. 🙂
My oldest is starting pre-k this year. I’m familiar with that ache right about now. Thanks for the verses. We might work on memorizing the Joshua one together. (In a kid-friendly version.). Great give-away.
I have 4 kids (9,7,4,2) and I want to open the discussion even though they are young, so that the conversation does not end when they are older. I want them to know that we’re for them, that God is for them, that we want them to make the best decisions, but that grace will reign in this family.
I think your Romans verse is 12:2, isn’t it? Thanks for these!
I have had and will continue to have these conversations with our kids, but I really want to have this conversation with my High School girls’ Sunday school class!
What an encouraging reminder for this Mama. My oldest child is 5 and is starting kindergarten this year. I’m very nearly sick to my stomach when I think about what he will encounter at school, even though we are very blessed to have a small school with many Christian teachers and staff. Thank you for this encouragement today.
My children no matter what stage they are entering…one in the job force with a serious boyfriend, one starting his third year in college, one starting his junior year in high school and the baby starting 7th grade; I want to start this school year with a commitment to pray for them to make wise pre decisions and for mercy when they choose poorly as I too remember not choosing wisely 😉
I will definitely have this conversation with my daughter who is in high school. This is a great way to face the many challenges that they will face in the coming years. Staying strong in your convictions!
As my oldest prepares to leave for college in a few weeks, and the youth group prepares to meet tonight for their “last time with the outgoing seniors”… this is the perfect way to pray them out. God has been at work in them over these young years and I know He is faithful to complete what He has started. Us parents have a hard time letting go and really falling into that Trust, but His arms are so sure and full of creative power for great things. Holding on and looking forward for all that He has in store for them with prayer.
I wish I could have this discussion with my high school self, but I’ll try to remember to work it into discussions with my 5 & 8 yr olds as they grow up.
Oh I desperately would love this prize. Low on resource and cash at the mo and really needing encouragement to speak not only into my kids lives but also our marriage and ME!! Thankyou dor you encouragement on facebook. Along witj Gods word it is one of the sources of daily encouragement I receive.
The Lord gives us opportunities to encourage our children to make wise choices at every stage if their lives. From the toddler who learns to say thank you to God and share with others, to the young parents who bring our grandchildren into the world…they all need us to pave the way ahead.I am “pre-deciding” to keep on being the praying influence in their lives.
My four kids (entering 9th, 6th, 4th, and 2nd grades), my god-daughter, my friend’s kids, and church family. My prayer is that they will be bold for Christ everywhere they go, and that they will do what’s right even if it means standing alone.
I have two sons leaving for college this week. One will be a junior, one a freshman. One a believer, one not. Oh the heart struggles I have for them!
I see so many youthful, smiling faces and pray they make “pre-decisions”, and then follow through! My heart aches for a wrong choice that leads down a long painful ( and sometimes deadly) path. Every drug addict, unwed, pregnant teen, kid charged with DUI, etc. was once someone’s precious baby/toddler/young child, full of innocence and promise. Nobody DECIDES to get an STD or to kill a friend while driving drunk. Young adults often make one or two poor choices and then suffer a lifetime of anguish because of that choice. Lord, be with our children, imprint your word on their hearts, and keep them safe, I pray!
I will have this conversation with my 14 year old daughter and my 18 year old son. My son has already unfortunately made some poor decisions in life but he seems to be getting back on the right track, thank God! It’s never too late to learn how to pre-decide. My 14 year old daughter can really learn this invaluable lesson on pre-deciding. And I am pre-deciding now to do something different this school year — I know I need to focus more when my children are talking. I need to really hear what they are saying and be grateful they are talking to me!
My children are grown and I’m soon to be single again but there are a lot of areas where I can pre decide–at work, with my family, at church and in social situations.
I wish someone would have had that convo with me at age 16. I would have this conversation with my step grandson who just went into the army and will be entering officer’s training in a few weeks: my step-daughter who will be 29; my nieces, and nephews who have not made clear decisions yet. My heart aches to prevent the pain I went through and the time lost for Christ.
Yes I’d love to have a chance to win!
My son, who is starting high school this year and will be getting his driving permit in several months. Thanks for this topic today, it was awesome….
My 8 children. I have 6 girls and 2 boys. I am a married mamma but due to unforseen circumstances I am having to work instead of staying home and homeschooling. I would really love to win the book finances are tight and this article so rang in my spirit. Thank you will be sharing with my children.
My two beautiful (inside and out) girlies and my Wyldlife girls too!!!
My sons who will enter 8th grade this year. THey have had some tough issues to deal with this past year. In addition to their own personal struggles with puberty, moving to another state and physical injuries, their Dad has been fighting cancer for over a year. It’s been a tough battle, and they are clinging to their faith and church friends for strength and support. I love that they have turned to God and would love to breath life and validation into that for them. THey will be facing some scary decisions over the next few year-and they will get increasingly dangerous as they go through high school and beyond. I would love to read this book and be equipped to lead them to “pre-decide” their future paths. Love you Lysa-your writing is spot on for me!
I want to have this conversation with my ten year old granddaughter who will be entering fourth grade. You see, her mother gave birth to her at 16, and at 18 left home leaving her behind. I pray for her to make better choices, and be all that God intends for her to be. But this is hard. She has so many traits that her mother did, even though she’s hardly been around her. I worry that no matter what I teach her, she’s still going to make choices like her mom did. I so desire to send her to a Christian school, but we receive no money at all for raising her and our finances don’t allow for it. I constantly have to remind myself that she is still Gods child and through him I can have every hope in her future. Yes, we’ll be having this conversation.
I’d love to share these books with my children and my nerves and nephews
Such wisdom@
Thank you for the timely devotion from today. My daughter is leaving for her first year in college today. We live in a small rural community and she will b in the BIG CITY of Indianapolis @IUPUI, a grand adventure for her to experience but with ALOT of changes and opportumities she had not been exposed to. My son will be a Sophomore in High School who thinks he would like to be more socially involved this coming year, by going to more games and activities but still promotes an environment of CHOICE. My other son in entering Jr. High (7th grade) and is in a time in growing up of needing a little guidance and advice in the rite direction. WE were all able to sit in the living room as I read the article and had multiple opportunites to expand on other things more in depth and how they related to each one of them personally. This article brought a new begining for us as I mentioned we don’t always talk about the difficult topics but it is definetly something we need to do more of and IT IS OK. Thank you for the easyness I feel in reading and sharing your adivce. I thank you as I’ve been intrusted to be these threes mama and what a priviledge and responsiibility I have but know the difference you are making and the encouragement that you give 🙂
For my daughter and nephew as they start college August 18th. That I will help them pre-decide tans rember that mistakes will be made and people will let them down but they have family and a God who will always be here for them.
My son who is entering his first year of college and my daughter who is a senior in high school this year.
I was just thinking these same thoughts, though not as eloquently. 🙂 I look at my 16 year old daughter and see her slowly pulling away from from church as I did at her age, and I want to shout and stop her before it’s too late. Instead, I ache, I pray, and I try to weave small, but powerful truths into our conversations, in the hopes that they will become etched in her heart in spite of the eye rolls.
What a beautiful idea to Pre -decide! My twins are going off to their first year in college, my las of 6! I so wish that I had been wise enough to do this with my other beloved children who indeed made some horrible choices with so much pain I would have loved for them to be spared. I did not know the Bible then. Thank you so very much for sharing those perfect verses for them to hold in their hearts. Bless you Lysa for sharing the beautiful wisdom God has given you!
I want to have this convo with my kids (14, 12 and 10) and a friend who has high school age kids who may not be making the “best yes’ decisions. I want my best yes this year to be to prayerfully considering taking on tasks when asked. Not jumping in to something without asking God if this is what he has for me to do.
I’ll be talking with my boy/girl twin set who are entering their freshman year in high school. I love the verses and the predecide for many situations that may come up. Thank you Lysa!
My sons one that is going to college this year and my other who is a sophomore in high school
So amazing to read and find this today! My oldest son will be entering kindergarten in a week, and I have been thinking about these pre-decision answers for questions and situations he may encounter. I just ordered the book, and am very excited to read it!
Such a great conversation starter in our family that needs so much healing from mistakes and our past…thanks for sharing!
I am a teacher and I would like to share this with my class of high school seniors. It is a public school but I can encourage them to pre-decide who they want to be and how they will react in certain situations.
My Grandchildren..the scriptures are wonderful…and the blog thought provoking. Thank you
I’ve been struggling. Your message and the verses soothed my anxious soul. Thank You for that, Lisa T.
I will be having this conversation with my 2 children, a daughter that is 13 and a son that is 11. I love the ideas that you have that make it easier to know what to say to them! My predicision for myself this year is to be prayerful in all decisions and situations in our lives.
I have a nephew in mind, along with several adult friends who need the gentle reminder that just because they’re in their 30’s 40’s, 50’s & beyond doesn’t mean there’s no temptation. When my husband passed away, God laid it on my heart to not kiss a man on the lips until marriage – which could mean I’d never kiss! However, God’s timing was perfect & that simple vow kept me from so many heartaches along the way. He did bless me with a Godly man of integrity & we’re getting ready to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary!
I love those verses all collected together! So helpful…I have a good friend who needs to go through this with me, as I could use a good dose of “best yes” reminding myself, when I feel like I need to take on the entire world by myself, all in one day. 🙂
I want to have this convo with my daughters, ages 16 and 12. Love the verses to pray over them, too! Hope I win a bundle!
I can’t wait to share this with my 13 year old son and his friends. They are a good group of boys and with God’s guidance and some consistency I believe we as parents can be the stronghold on earth as God is out cornerstone in heaven!
I need to have this conversation with my 13 year old who is going into 8th grade. I have such a hard time talking with him but I will begin here and let God take it & open his ears to hear. ♡
My family hash add rough few years…..we have battled and lost to death 3 grandparents 2 parents and several very close friends most of which were so very young. I have a yes to too many problem, I need this book collection I struggle with this on a daily basis and it’s becoming a huge burden on those closest to me ….the ones I love that need to get the yes more often my heRt is breaking and daily the tears flow and depression is almost more than I can handle. Thank you so much for the previous lessons and books I am slowly trying to get the and learn the lessons meant for me to learn from them.
My children & myself. I need thus messiah as much
As my children. So I can set a example of making
Good desions.
I want to share this with my small group. We are a group of 10 people from 18-35 years old. I think even as an adult we need this to remember that we have to stay focused on what He wants.
My 14 yo son who is going to school for the first time in 9 years after being homeschooled.
I want to share this with my sister so she can have this conversation with her teenage daughters. I want to keep this in mind when my children are old enough as well. Thank you.
I have four daughters and we’re all right in the smack dab middle of these years. I believe they are great gals who make great choices, but who, yes, do struggle sometimes and I get it. I’d love to read your book.
I love th information that you compiled here ! I plan on havin this conversation with one of my four sons and sharing it with the Adult Women’s Sunday School class, all of us have children that could benefit from this! My Best Yes will have to be giving my schedule/children’s schedule/family schedule over to God, every day and every morning so that He can be in control of lives and not us. Thank you for all of the advice that you supply!!
As school once again comes into focus, I ponder what my kids will face and how they will deal. I trust that God will be right next to them. I trust that their hearts will be in tune with His and their actions will agree with His heart. I am committed to praying for them and lifting them up with words of encouragement. Thank you for sharing scripture and your heart for young people.
I just had this conversation with some students at a retreat and pray it sinks in! I want to have a discussion with my sons also. They are still young but it’s never too early!
I love the term – ” predecide “. My son is two but I will have to remember this as he grows older as I pray every night that he knows God as his Lord and savior as he grows and matures . I would love to have this book to fall back into my nightly devotions with God. I have always been faithful with my quiet time but with a little one it has slipped .
I love this idea. I plan to discuss pre deciding with my two sons.
I would have this discussion with all three of my very young children. I would also have this discussion with myself. Trying to figure out who I am and not be scared of the future is hard. But reading this reminds me that God is ALWAYS there. To catch me, guide me, hold me, and love me! Thank you for this post. It’s definitely something I needed to read!
My youngest child, who is also my only son leaves fit His second year of college art a major university next Saturday. I think I’ll sit down and write him a letter this week and encourage him to pre-decide. I also have a daughter who just graduated from college and is staring her new job as a school teacher tomorrow. She could use the conversion also. Thank you for this blog. I needed to read it.
I want to share this with our kids but in a way that translates to 6 and 7 year olds. I wish I had pre-decided many things but also thank Godfor the wrong choices I did make. Those choices made my commitment to Christ even more meaningful. I can also relate to people who do not know Jesus b/c I was that same young adult. Today, I pre-decide to not give a watered down face of my faith to new women in my life.
Beautiful ! Pre-decide-that is such a great idea!!
Beautiful ! Pre-decide-that is such a great idea!!
Having this conversation with my girls right now around the fire pit!
My daughter and son. They’re both babies now, but I know this will be so important in their future.
I just read this and 5 minutes later received a text from my son that all the boys at his overnight camp were looking at porn in their dorm room. My heart hurts but I am proud that he texted me so that I could pray over this situation. He is 14 and starts high school this month. I know that there will be lots of decisions that he will need to “pre- decide”. We will be having our “decision dinner” ASAP.
And amen! Thanks Lysa… Beautiful reminder of talking BEFORE trouble hits! This will be our dinner conversation with our two teens this week. Yes!
I would love to share this with my 16 year old step daughter. There are not a lot of decisions I get to make for her life or even comment on sometimes. But this one, this one is so very important to me.
I want to spread this message to especially my 9 year old girl & to my four year old son. I worry that my daughter won’t make the best decisions. I guess I’m worried that they both won’t & I think having them predecide their decisions will be so beneficial
My oldest girl is headed off to middle school. Good reminder of what to share with her.
My girls..I seek God’s wisdom daily for them as well as myself:) I can’t wait to lead this study at my church Sept. 14! I prayed, asking The Lord what study to pick. I had a vision of a black rectangle, but didn’t see any words. Then later saw the advertisements with the book shown inside a black rectangle! I got my answer…can’t wait to start. Thx, Lysa!
I will need to start having these conversations with my littles (oldest just turned 6) as they are heading into the world. Gulp!
I need to have this conversation with myself! I need to predecide to not worry, and to hang on to HIS peace.
I’ve talked about some pre-decides with my children before, but with school starting back, I really like your idea to choose what we are going to pre-decide to begin the year! Definitely need to get your new book!
I plan on having a back to school bash for kids ages 5-12 thus week. We hope to encircle them in prayer and these were great verses to pray over them and encourage them to pre decide to honor Christ in all they do!
I need to have this discussion with my teen who is going to public school for the first time this year.
I want to have this conversation with my students in puerto Rico in the last five years that I have taught English I have seen how these young kids live life thinking about having a relationship with the opposite sex how nothing is mire important to them then having the latest fashion electronics device they truly dont think about their future or the decision they make I have a ministry with the youth for the youth and I will decide that no matter what I will accomplish what God has already predestined in my life together with my children and husband.
I’m a high school teacher. Would love to have opportunities to share it with some of my students.
What a wonderful post! Perfect as our oldest daughter begins college and my middle daughter and niece, middle school. So many things they need to pre-decide!
Thanks for the inspiring words of wisdom…
My four girls!!! I have to keep on keeping on!!!
Pre-decide. I love it! 2 of my 3 children will be going to school outside our home.
With my God.,.to help me choose His best yes for my life . to please Him and stop fearing the consequences of displeasing others – even my family
For my brother who is moving a couple hours away from family for a new job.
This conversation has been had with my son who is now in his soohomore year of college. But this post, reminds me of the importance of having it again. My daughter is a junior in high school and we are just beginning these conversations. Our world can be so harsh or it can be kind, it’s all in how we stand in faith and choose to face it. Thank you for being such an encourangement!
I would love to share this with my two sons, ages 16 and 14. The idea of pre-deciding is something we all could benefit from. Thank you!
I teach high school freshmen, we will cover this now in the first week. Thank you-
I will be sharing this with my son who is going into 5th grade this year. I will also share it with his friends that he invites over and with my 4th grade Sunday school class. Thank you, Lysa!
My kids are only 9 & 6, but this is a message I want to burn on their hearts as they go forward. On their level. Thanks, Lysa. ; )
I want to predecide to say yes to God everyday with every small thing. And to predecide to filter our family life for the sake of our little ones – so they can predecide to have a true love for God. My kiddies still so small, but I wont be able to do it with God a few years from now. A few years from now where I hope and pray they dont make the mistakes I have made because I followed my will and not His.
My four teenagers. Even though they have grown up in the church, I know they each need to make their relationship with God their own. So many decisions to be made as they head out the door into the world.
I will be having this conversation with, firstly, myself (!) and my daughters as they begin third grade. My husband and I often speak over them, “God has prepared great things for you.” But that can sound so distant. Pre-deciding who you are and whose you are is such a wonderful approach.
I want and need to have this conversation with
my 18 year old “grown up” son. Also, with my
other children.
I need to Pre-decided
Decide today to ignore the enemy who wants to trick you and trip you and take you out.
My children. And my children’s friends. My husband. Myself.
My boys, entering 11th and 12th grades this year. And eventually my daugter, entering kindergarten. The reality has hit me that I only have but a very short time left of my boys being under my roof. My soul aches. And I wonder, have I done enough? Has it been enough, the time I’ve spent trying to raise them right? Do they get it? What a scary, wonderful thing to release them into the hands of a loving heavenly Father, praying that when they flap their wings they will soar above the chaos of a depraved world, and remember the road that leads them home again. I pray they have the courage to make a lasting impact on their generation and to speak life into a hurting world.
I need this for my 3 grown children, my 8 grandchildren (ages 4 – 15) and myself! As the time for our Lords return is quickly approaching we need to be encouraging and sharing any God-given wisdom to help stand firm for Him!!!
For my middle and high school daughters.
I want to have this conversation with myself 10 years ago! Though I probably wouldn’t listen.
My daughter is entering a very crucial time of life….the tween/teen years. The years where things will get sticky, conversations will go deeper, girls can be meaner and idenities are being developed. The pre-decide is awesome tool! Thank you for the scriptures too!!!
I am continuing to cover my kids in prayer and prayerfully teach them how to pre-decide. It’s an ongoing process right now. My boys are young. So lots of discussion and prayer.
I will pray this verses over my students.
Pre-decide: what a good word to use to help our children think about some of their decisions before they have to decide on the spot.
I will be sharing with my grandson and others with children.
My 16 year old son and 13 year old daughter. My prayer for them had always been that they will love themselves enough to always ask for help when they are struggling, and to rely on God to get them through! I truly believe the Best is Yet to Come! Now to help them see it!
I would share it with all the young people I have an opportunity to talk with. I too remember looking in the mirror as a young adult and not liking the girl looking back at me. Since I have grown up, I can see how “pre-deciding” would have really made a difference. Instead, I went the way of the world and, in turn, paid the consequences. This article has challenged me to share even more with those I’ve got an opportunity to help guide at this stage in their lives. As an adult, there are new challenges and this same principle needs to be applied – I’m pre-deciding now on things that would hurt my testimony. I do not want to live a watered-down Christian life because the cost is too great to my Jesus who gave everything and to those that are watching me, looking for hope. Thank you for a great challenge.
I want to share with my 10 yr old son. This is the age when they start deciding whether to act cool or be kind.
My children are 9 and 6 and I so want them to remember how they are loved my The Lord and that no one on earth can compare to that love. I pray they stand up for those who need a friend, walk away from talk that doesn’t lift someone up and can stand up against the desire to want to please and be accepted by others. Thanks for giving me a way to start a conversation with them before they head to school.
My 12 1/2 year old son who is beginning jr. high tomorrow. He was baptized last Sunday.
Having this conversation with one of my best friends!! This age is so critical to help them have the Best Yes!!
Sound advice here, Lysa. I plan to have this conversation with all four of my kids! Thank you!!
It’s never too early (or late) to have these thought in your head and heart! For my kids, 4&10, and for my husband and I. Perhaps not the same decisions as high school/college.. But other choices in life that come around daily!
Would love to have this conversation, but on a more elementary level, with my first grader as well as my pre-teen nieces. I personally need to pre-decide to control my reactions to things that are out of my control.
Lysa,
Reading your email “Before they go to school…Have this conversation” was like reading a transcript of my heart. My best friend and I gathered this summer with a group of teenage girls. Those girls and the incessant stream of kids that come through my doors with my own teenagers have my heart just as you described. I, too, want them to know the importance of their decisions and the impact those decisions will have on their lives now and down the road. We can clearly see for we have walked that very road. If I can help at least one of them realize and avoid the inevitable pain… (As you said, “insert voice cracking and tears welling up”)
Thank you for all you do. I cannot wait to read this book and share it!
Myself. I’m a pastor’s wife and there are so many areas this applies to in my life right now. Especially in the areas of self-worth and calling to ministry.
All 4 of my girls need this before this year starts!
Thank you for the encouraging words!
An scriptures!!!! God Bless you!
I need to have this conversation with myself to predecide to make good choices, ones I won’t have remorse for the next day.
Quality time taken to a whole new level! Thanks Lysa! My hubs and I will be sharing this with our two awesome teens!!
I would love to share this with my daughter in high school and girls on her volleyball team and girls at church.
I want to share this with my son. He is 8 and is far (but isn’t far) from the preteen age. I know that difficult choices and the enemy to us all targets even the youngest of us.
I would like to have a reminder conversation with my young adult children & then with my nieces. Thank you, Lysa, for what you do!
I will be sharing this with my 16 yr old daughter and her many friends that visit my home often. I will also be sharing this with the youth group and leaders at my church. Our young people desperately need this. I need this. I pre-decide to be a more active part of my daughters life through guidance in prayer and The Word.
Wht an awesome conversation to be had with my grandchildren. Thank you
My children!
My children!
I have a child who is getting ready to head off for his second year in college and another one who is about to experience her senior year in high school. Both are absolutely amazing! This is a conversation I will have with them over this next week and I can’t wait to see what their answers will be. I think even as a grown up we need this reminder. Thank you SO much Lysa for that reminder.
Thank You – Thank You – Thank You!!!!! I DESPERATELY need this list of scriptures. I have an 11 year old boy who was called into ministry at 9 1/2. He has always been very serious about the things of God and who he is and what he stands for. The older he gets the more he is teased and ridiculed about being “weird” by (SADLY) his peers at church and school (he goes to a Christian school). He is gentle and mild-mannered about it, but it hurts him so bad. The mama bear in me wants to jerk up these kids and set them straight but my husband constantly reminds me that this is good for him. This is preparing him for the ministry because preachers aren’t always heroes. I will give him this list of scriptures to lean on. Thank you so much.
I want to have this conversation with my son before he starts middle school.
Thank you!! I will be havin this conversation with my 6 kiddos, today!!
Thank you! Sending our kids off to school isn’t easy this day and time, we must equip them with the tools they need to survive, and the greatest of all is Gods Word! I like your advice! PRE-DECIDE. And I’m so sure I need to read your new book to help me!
My 4 children! Thank you for the sweet encouragement to talk to my children!
I’ll be praying these scriptures. At 53 there’s plenty of decisions to be made in my life and I want to help my fourteen grands learn the value of making pre-decisions as well.
Great advice! I am clinging to all encouraging and Biblical truths as I send my first born to High School this year. I don’t think he even realizes to be nervous!
Thank you
This is a great conversation to also pray together over! Want to share with my husband, kids, and small group ladies! Your book looks awesome! Thanks for the giveaway
My daughter is 10 and while some of the predecide questions are not applicable right now, they will be in just a few years. But some of them are applicable and I would never have known how to approache them. Thank you so much for this. My daughter has trouble standing strong in her faith in God in school, when others say mean things. She has a good friend who is also strong in God and luckily lives 2 houses down from us. This was a good and necessary post. Thank you again.
I have two children to have this conversation with: my 10-yr-old 6th grader and my 6-yr-old 1st grader. Even though they are young, it is still relevant for them. Thank you!
My husband and children…it is never to early to get them into this way of thinking!
I want to have this conversation with my kids who are 17 and 13. But most of all myself.
My daughter is going into junior high this year. There are so many worries as a parent we have for our kids. I want her to know what to do when she is in a situation like you mentioned. There are so many pressures to measure up and live in the world to fit in with your peers. I pray my daughter will pre-decide to do what’s right no matter the cost!
For my daughters who just turned 15 and 18. Can’t believe the oldest only has one more year in our home before leaving for college. So many pre-decisions to be made. Thank you for the added resources that open the discussion and provide a written source for them to use during their devotion time. Teens need time to process info before they are willing to open up in a discussion, this is perfect.
For my grandchildren
My sons
My daughters. In fact, even though my kids are young, we may do this study together, tempering it to what they will face.
My four girls!! All 10 and under! Pre-Decide…to be or not to be _____ (fill in the blank) . I think having this pre-decide conversation will become foundational in their growth toward wisdom and knowledge.and understanding…the choice is ultimately theirs, but a pre-decision is a great start, and hopefully and prayerfully may curb a post-decision
Pre-decide…what a word…as I begin a journey as a grandmother to a grandson that calls me Nanny…as he starts kindergarten…as my baby girl begins a journey with her first born going to kindergarten…we are all on a journey going somewhere…we all have to pre-decide how we will travel this path of our journey…we all have to pre-decide…with God…that is my pre-decision…I cannot make this journey without God…actually none of us can…
Reminds me of the scripture that is my go to…
Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7
What a neat book to use with my 4 kids
Is there any possibility that there would be a version of this for kiddos? It would be a great devotional for them too.
I will share with my children, friends, and husband. Such wisdom. So many areas these days where lines get crossed and it’s hard to take a stand. Thank you for your words and thoughts.
I have four sons. God has been whispering a call to focus on their faith and relationships. This book sounds like a good place to start.
Can’t wait to pray these over my kids and meditate on the scriptures with them. Thank you for sharing Truth!
I WILL have this conversation with my kids before school starts this year!
Love this. Definitley going to do with all 3 of our kids….and have my husband and I do it too so the kids see that we are all accountable!!
This converstion I need to have with my daughter. She is 11 and starting middle school this year. As I read this story it is like you are telling the story of my life, not something I want my daughter to go through,she is so much like me I worry. I would love your book, any resource I can get to raise her as a godly young woman!
Thank you, yet again, for your amazing wisdom Lysa – I have loved reading the snippets of your new book, and can’t wait to get it. I would like to propose a women’s Bible study at our church around this book, as so many of us need this wisdom. Today, I am going to pre-decide to live by the quote I have hanging on my computer which says: “Let no one come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Lord Jesus help me to be this woman!
I want to have this conversation with all three of my children, but especially with my twins who will be entering high school next week. It’s a huge transition for them and for me and pre-deciding will make that transition a bit smoother. Thanks for sharing these truths!
What a beautiful post, thank you. My oldest daughter is 1 month shy of 17 and will be starting her Senior year next Monday. We just returned home from a wonderfully fun trip to visit several colleges and have a mom/daughter get away. I am overwhelmed with the bittersweet emotions that come at this time. I’m also overwhelmed by other emotions unrelated to her upcoming graduation. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, 1 month before my 17th birthday is when I became pregnant with her. I’m am sad for my 17 year old self who, much too soon, had to put aside many dreams and face a scary reality and the responsibilities of being a mom. I am also so proud of my 17 year old self for making the choice to not let a poor choice lead to more painful choices. I pray everyday she is able to follow in my good choices and learn from my poor ones. She was and always will be my best yes.
I want to have this conversation with my youngest son. In less than two short weeks he will be going away to a public college with a reputation for parying – usually always make the Top Ten list of party schools. He has a good head on his shoulders and has always been responsible, but now he will be on his own for the first time in his life. This blog entry really spoke to me today … definitely a conversation I need to have with him.
I plan to have this conversation with my two precious girls. One still in elementary, but too often trying to keep up with her older sister and the other going into her first year at middle school. These years are so precious just as they are and they can pass so quickly. I also remember back at choices I’ve made and those that my children can be wiser and avoid. I know they will make their own mistakes and have to walk on their own path, but hope and pray that they can keep God close and create a relationship with Him that reminds them of his unconditional love for them and the GRACE that is always available.
Lysa, Thank you for your continual guidance and for allowing God to use you to share his love and desires for our lives through you! You are a daily blessing and inspiration! May God bless your day and family beyond your desires!
Thank you for your inspiration. We will be having this conversation with our girls, not quite leaving home yet; but still very important. Life is all about the choices/decisions we make on a daily basis. Blessings to you and yours!
I want to share this with my eight year old daughter who is so highly impressionable at the moment. She is into the whole, “everyone had one,” “everyone is doing,” “everyone has,” and it scares me. Just the other day, after a weight loss commercial passed, she told me she wants to be “hot” so she can get a boyfriend. My heart sank to my stomach at the sound if those words coming out of my little girl ‘s mouth! She also has a “pull the trigger” way with her words, saying her feelings before thinking, hurtful things. She was baptized this summer, but she needs a guide and I need to feed my spiritual life so I can help her through whatever this is she is battling. I want to pre-decide to always be aware of the things I’m about to to blurt out on impulse and be a better example to my daughter, starting with refueling my faith with more of His Word.
With my sweet kiddos. Regan is 9 and Luke is 6. Of couse it will be on their level but if I start now then it will be a planted seed and will soon bloom! Thank You!!
I teach High School Sunday School at my church. I would love to have this conversation with them!!
I would love to receive this book bundle. My teenagers could certainly use great advice from someone other than me!
Oh how I wish someone could’ve had this conversation with my brother YEARS ago. I would love to have this conversation with my nieces. I’ll share this with their mom’s so they will hopefully have that talk with them.
This is so timely! I need to have this conversation with myself on a regular basis! Plus my children, and the teen moms in our soon-starting TeenMOPS group. I wish someone had told be to pre-decide who I would turn to when I messed up! It could have saved me a lot of loneliness & shame in my college years.
This is an appropriate topic, subject and challenge for all! I would like to have this conversation with my 11 grandson, 12 Daugher, 27 year old son, 31 year old daughter , my husband and myself!
We are foster parents and grand parents of young children an I would like to start instilling Christian values and making the right choices now!
My kids. I have 5 from 7 years to 14 years of age. They all need to be inspired to pre-decide these things!
I love this. I had a similar conversation with my son before he started middle school last week. I told him to always think before he does or says something to try to ensure he won’t regret his words or actions. I told him not to partake in making fun or hurting others…that he should never be the mean kid. I told him to smile at someone that seems down because that could change their day and possibly a poor decision they might make. I love the idea of pre-decide though. That’s so much more than an agreement or yes ma’am. It’s more like signing on the dotted line.
what a great idea! I’m going to have this conversation with my 7 year old son whose temper gets the best of him too often!
My four grandchildren. Pre Decide is a wonder concept and a beautiful way to start a family group discussion. Love it.
As I was reading today’s blog about ‘pre-deciding”, it occurred to me that I was already using a form of this concept with my 20 year old college student daughter who is a new driver. Whenever I ride with her, I talk to her about possible traffic situations and different reaction scenarios. It would be awesome if I could win a copy of this book so that I can see how pre-deciding can be applied to other areas of life.
This is a great tool. I want to instill this practice with my 14 and 15 year old boys….as well as…..with MYSELF. I am working so hard at bettering myself and trying to combat Satan and his stinking thinking…that I want to Pre-Decide now on many things that I want to continue to work on and improve in my life. By learning and living what lessons I experience will only help me be the best possible me for me, as well as my children. Live as an example for them to turn to. I want to learn this so I can share this with my church community as well.
As a mother of 4, I love this idea! I will have this conversation with my kids & pray it works as well as it sounds like it will!
My son and his girlfriend. I love them so much and I know the Lord has beautiful blessed plans for them. I do speak to them from time to time and with my 8yrs old daughter with choices they need to make.
My kids are young (5 and 2), but I don’t think it’s too early to start having conversations about making good decisions. I feel like I still need a good reminder every once in awhile, too!
Oh, Lysa. In all my 7 years of reading your blog, this has got to be one of my all time favorite posts. Love this reminder. That group sure is blessed to have you pouring into them and challenging them the way you do! Already planning a dinner with some of the girls that I mentor them to encourage them to pre-decide. Thankful for you and the way you encourage us.
I love this idea. I am going to use this for conversations with my children going back to college.
My daughters, my sons, and myself.
I am a team youth leader for our church and WILL be discussing these great points and scriptures at our youth church on Wed. night. Perfect timing as the kids start back to school next week. I am soooo looking forward to studying “The Best Yes” in our women”s bible study group. We just finished the ever inspiring “Unglued” last week and will be starting Best Yes in Sept. Thanks Lysa for ALL you do !!
Lysa, as always great devotion, one that made me think back to my youth and all the dumb mistakes I made that have made me feel ashamed! Our youngest daughter graduated high school this past may and I have had many talks, and shared as much and I thought she should know, but will she listen to my advice? I pray to my Lord she does. The best gift I can give her is to pray for her daily and always be there when she needs me. It is such a scary place out in this world, but I know that we have planted the seed, and will help to water it. We are very proud of her, she just go hired for a job 4 hours away from home, but she will be with her older sister, who will help with watering!!!
Prayers for all the young people spreading there wings into adulthood.
Thank you for the scriptures.
I’m so anxious to read you new book..
Blessings Anna
I just had this conversation with one granddaughter last week. I was so excited when I saw this devotional and the book due to be released. I pre- decided as a child, and it made facing teenage temptations so much easier. God bless you for publicizing this!
Living in a predominant Mormon state, it is difficult for my daughter to make friends because she is a Christian
She starts middle school this year and has no friends. Thank you for these verses.
I have 5 children and we will most definitely be having this conversation before they go back to school.
I would love to receive this bundle…I have 7 children and need to have this discussion with each of them
With my 2 daughters, ages 15 and 18. To pre-decide that through adversity you can always choice what is true and right and they will be respected for their choices.
Every child needs to hear this! I love how simple yet how very powerful this message is!
Love your blogs!! They always come at the right time and exactly what I need to hear!! So thank you for sharing!!
I have 3 daughters – two teenagers and one tween! I will be having this conversation with them tonight. 2 of my daughters decided to live with their biological dad a year ago. It has been a tough year for me and my time to have these types of conversations with them is minimal now. I am pre-deciding to be supportive and present in their lives despite the obstacles and my hurting heart. I love them so much and I want to equip them to make the best decisions they can for today and for always!!
My daughter as she heads into high school.
I will definitely be having this conversation with my two children before they go back to school! I pre-ordered the book for myself, but would love to win one to share!
I’d have this conversation with my brother who started a 8th grade today and my niece who started high school today also.
I want to have this conversation with my nephew who is a sophomore athlete in college. My prayer for him is that he would be drawn to the Lord and walk closely with him.
I have a son in middle school whom I will be having this talk with. He goes back to school next week. Thank-you for sharing this.
I have a high school age daughter. Love this idea that you can pre-decide how you will react to situations. We will certainly discuss this tomorrow in the car. The car is when i have a captive audience, and our best conversations happen there:)
I would love to share this with my highschool lifegroup. What an awesome word. Thanks so much!!
We have a group of single moms who are all hungry for information about how to juggle all of the balls we have in the air, feed our own spiritual growth and raise good, responsible, Godly children. A friend and I are talking about starting a Bible study group for this group of ladies to help and support each other through this journey. Your blog today speaks to exactly the kinds of things we are desperately seeking as we start on this journey and are looking for tools to use with our kids. Thank you for this timely “tool” as the school year starts.
I would love to have this conversation with my older two kiddos, even though they are 7 and 5 I this would be a great on going conversation throughout the rest of their years at home.
My son, and to pre-decide how to answer the questions, you have so many great ones that I need to start on.
I would live for my grand children to pre decide what they would do in those situations. The world is such a difficult place when you try to do what God wants.
As my son is approaching his senior year in high school, it takes me back in time and I remember the choices I have made and hope I have equipped my son with the wisdom to make the choices I would make for him. We have had many conversations about choices, however I’ve never heard it put quite this way. Pre decide…wonderful idea. I feel another conversation coming on.
I am planning a Pre-decide party for my freshman English class a NCA….We will all make a pre-decision…they will be shared and sealed…
I need to share this message with my three children and my 6 nieces and nephews. It is amazing what a difference it makes when you pre-decide how to handle certain situations…this is such a brilliant concept. I cannot wait to read the book. Thank you Lysa for always keeping me challenged in my relationship with the Lord!
I have 2 daughters. My oldest will be in first grade. I want to share this with her. I want to let her know that it is okay to stand out against “the crowd”. I want to share with her my decision at a young age to try to make the best choices even if it costs you “friends”. Thank you so much for this devotional! I am pre-deciding to discuss this with her everyday!
I need to make it a point to have this conversation with my 11 year old as he enters 6th grade & I know he will be facing big changes along with his classmates over the next few years, and they leave behind the innocence of childhood & develop a more worldly awareness. I would also love to attempt to talk to my older boys, 20 & 23. Even though they are grown, a reminder/refresher never hurts.
Although my child is starting kindergarten, I will be having the 5 year old version of this conversation with her soon!
I’d love to have this conversation with my niece and nephew. They are teens growing up in a rough family life… Encouraging them to not choose the way that is modeled for them… Hard stuff!
I would love to have this and have several nieces and nephews to talk to
I will use this with our family and our school children. The more solid their foundation, the better the choices may be.
I would shard this with my 3 boys as they head to school. They are young, but if we train them in the way they should go, they won’t depart from it.
My son leaves home for college in a big city in less than a week. He is not quite 17. Every day since starting pre-school, my husband’s last words to our kids as they headed out the door is “make good choices”. He won’t be able to remind our son of that every day this year – so we will definitely have this conversation before he goes. Thank you for this timely post!
Need to have this conversation with my daughter.
To Erica,my beautiful 19 year old Daughter. I want her to pre-decide to Love herself, unconditionally without apology. As for me, I pre-decide to know what truly lies inside of me- I owe my creator that much.
Pre-decide. What a great concept! There are so many areas of life where this would be helpful. Considering the possibilities….
I can’t wait to have this conversation with my daughter. I thank God for resources such as these that make communication a little easier. Thanks Lisa!
I want to have this conversation with myself i just got some really big news and I am scared out of my mind. My gut is to run for the hills, but my predecide is to trust God and His soverign plan in this season of my life.
All the kiddos are out of the house. Much sooner than expected they all migrated and it’s official, I’m an “empty nester.” Strange mix of emotions. This post is exactly what has been on my mind for all of our children. Thank you.
My 4 children as they grow!
My amazing team of coaches!
and me!
Thank you!! Your posts always speak to me!
Wow. Wish someone would have had this conversation with me as a teenager growing up. But even as an adult (& a teacher going back to work…in the world) these were great lessons and scriptures! I also have a 15-year-old & these will definitely be discussed. Thank you.
Glad I found your site suggested from a friend…about to start a fall book study & your book looks like what our group of ladies is searching for!
I will have this conversation with my 3 sons. I will remind them to pre decide what to do when tempted to make a bad choice.
I will be having this conversation with my step daughter who is starting 6th grade in two weeks. I would love the idea of pre deciding to follow Christ.
I will have this conversation with my four boys and also the youth and pre teens at my church. So so good, so so necessary! Thank You!
If I want to do this as a small group study, do you recommend the book and study guide or DVD? What about the DVD study guide? Looking forward to it!
I teach middle schoolers at my church & plan on sharing this with them. They are at such a vulnerable age & can be influenced so easily. Thanks for the info.
This is great! I’ll be talking to my 14 n 16 yr old daughters. 🙂
I love this idea! I have touched on this before after reading that John Maxwell did this in the beginning of his marriage/adult life. He wrote down his top 10 or so decisions/principles BEFORE the situation came up because it is too late once you are in the moment. He carries that paper in his wallet and reviews it. I will have this conversation with my 7th grade son, daughters entering 10th grade and 1st year of college. With God’s help, may they pre-decide to avoid some of the pain their dad and I experienced in those years. Or at least now how to find their way back!
I want to have this conversation with my 4 children and my nieces and nephew. I want to pre-decide today to not allow the devil to turn this mom into a monster, to keep my temper under control.
I would love to get my hands on this book. Thank you.
I need to have this conversation with myself first….and then I want to share my “decisions” with my boys and encourage them to “decide”. My words will mean nothing to them if I don’t follow it with actions. I need to pre-decide and allow my boys to watch my progress just as much as I watch theirs.
Awesome word, as always!
As a Titus woman, I’ll have this conversation with anyone who crosses my path.
Thanks so much! This post came at just the perfect time – my kids are going to love this discussion at the dinner table.
We would love to have this bundle! I am a man, surely I am not the only DUDE who wants this! HA! My wife loves your books and so do all of the girls in our college ministry. We are a church and ministry full of unchurched folks! We will use everything we can get our hands on to keep our college kids on the right track. You should check out some of our stories and why we need this bundle!
https://medium.com/college-ministry
I’m so excited for this book and leading a bible study at my church.
I have a12yr old granddaughter with whom I would love to have this conversation. Thank you for this help.
With my Youth Group as they start high school this year!
What an awesome resource! I too feel overwhelmed with the MANY, MANY demands on my time. With 5 children ages 21 – 10, all at home, a family farm to run, outside jobs, lessons, other interests, etc., etc., this book/study would be a welcome respite – and I might even learn a thing or two 🙂
With my 4 daughters.
I have been having and will continue to have this kind of conversation with husband and children. I’m just realizing there are so many more “pre-decide” issues than I thought. Over the past year, God has been revealing to me many more places where He desires for me to trust Him and pre-decide. Thanks for the encouragement and equipping!
I want to have this conversation with the 9 high school girls in our church teen ministry. Some are Christians, some are not, but this topic affects them all. But first, it will start with me and my middle school daughter. Then I’ll gather the other high school and middle school moms and we’ll have a meal together and talk about how important this is for them to understand.
I would love for our family to have this conversation together. I believe my husband and I will be stronger examples by modeling this first hand to our daughters. My Delaney beings 7th grade, and I see so many new influences being introduced all at once. This is a beautiful way to continue our dialogue together in a real and meaningful way. I can’t wait to read your newest book. God bless!
I want to have this conversation with both of my girls- ages 7 & 11 this year as we move into middle school for my oldest and for my youngest to be at school without her big sister for the first time.
My girl started 6th grade today. 6th grade, in all its wonderful awkwardness, means this conversation is a must. Thanks for the encouragement!
I need to have this conversation with my three girls. We live overseas and the pressures at school are different, but still very real. A good help to making wise choices!
I want to help my son pre-decide the right answers when he leaves for college next week!
I would be sharing this with the precious group of young high school girls given to me if I decide to volunteer to take a group this year. So far in my wait for my prayer request to be answered to the question, “Lord, do you want me to take a group this year or not?”, I have come across Matthew 9:37, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” when my bible was open to this page in Matthew, even though I had not been reading in Matthew, and now I’ve come across this impactful topic and book that would be priceless to share with a group. A. I will continue to wait to hear from God in the next few days and B. I will get this book anyway! As a mom who has (still am!) already raised 2, 20 something year olds, this is a topic near and dear to my heart, not only for my children, but I think of my 2 little nephews, as well as all of the other kids and young adults wading their way through this world and everything they’re up against (i.e.. the lies of this world that kill,steal and destroy, vs God’s truth that saves and gives life more abundantly).
What a blessing to come across this post on my first day of homeschooling my daughters. This topic has been on my heart for a long time and I am grateful for this just-in-time guidance for important life skills. Thank you Lisa!!!!!!
My 15 year old sister. I helped my mom raise her and hope my example will helper her make decisions in her teen years!
Thank you for putting this together in words. Although I didn’t call it “pre-deciding” back in the day, I did that in high school. I had a wonderful teacher who said, “The time to decide what your morals are going to be is NOT in the backseat of a car.” I would love your new book and bundle of info.
Totally and completely love this. Need to have this conversation with my 8-year old and tweaking it for my 5 year old! Thank you for this!!
I will definitely be having this conversation with our 11 year old who starts middle school next week. I heard you in the Unglued bible study talk about telling your kids, “Remember who you are”. That really stuck with me. But truthfully, I need to pre-decide as well in so many situations I come across. Thank you for your insight. We must live intentionally!!!!!
Too many times in my life, I can always think of someone else that needs to hear “the conversation”. However, I am the one in need of listening…hearing, and responding! My prayers are, and will always be for my family. I must remember and pre-decide that “I AM” part of the family and if I truly want to share God’s word and works, then I need to be able to hear and listen! 🙂
I’d have this conversation with my daughter and son. I’m a new believer and I strongly believe in the power of prayer, we must cover our children!
I will have this discussion with my two boys going to middle school as well as with my middle school girls Bible study class. Can’t wait to let that open up more discussion and opportunities to share our hearts with each other.
I just shared this with 3 of my 5 girls as we get ready to start school tomorrow! Thanks for the encouragement!
I will be having this conversation with my college age kids and any of their friends that are around to listen. This is great information to pass on to them, and might save them from making a bad decision or one they would regret. I also need to live by these words! Thank you.
My daughters and nephew…pre-decide that we will shine forth the light of Christ to those around us.
Sharing this conversation with my one and only before he returns for this last year of University. And what will I pre-decide today?…well, with the Lord enabling me, to never turn away from following Him, and with Him filling me, to take courageous steps of obedience when God’s ‘yes’ for me requires great faith.
I would first have the conversation with myself. And then with our 15 yr old son who is going into 10 th grade. He struggles at times with his faith and who to follow. it seems he needs that ”
“home” we all look for when searching for answers. Thank you
It is so important to have this conversation with the next generation. Thank you so much for sharing how God has showed you how to be affective in the lives of your loved ones!
We serve full time overseas as missionaries and have four children. Trying to pre decide and balance in a healthy way ministry and family life is a challenge. I would like to learn from this, and share it with my own children, as well as all of the other ministry families on the field and our parenting teenagers group…good stuff!
I will share this with my husband and two daughters. One is starting middle school and the other high school. Scary and a exciting days ahead! #tooblessedtobestressed
I needed this. .. I walked away from the path Christ put me on and carefully designed for me. … I am a wife and mother of 6 boys.
I’m praying this will help me order my steps and my life! !!
I will share with my son and his friends at church.
Lysa,
As usual, you are right on target. We
recently took in a young man (18yo)
who was living in a threatening
environment. It was the right thing to
do. Our family has been the recipient
of mean words, threats, stalking
because of it. I decided beforehand
that it didn’t matter. I could not ignore
the situation and leave that young man
there when he phoned for help.
As he prepares to attend college, I
will have the pre-decide talk. It is
a wonderful way to remind him of
who he is and his commitment to be
Godly.
Sometimes “the best yes” is something
you know is right, but it demands
commitment. No yelling back, no
cringing when the police arrive, no
backing down, even when it is hard.
And praying over and over.
Keep up the good work girlfriend. You
inspire me.
Beth
I cannot wait for this!!!! These are conversations that I need & plan to have with my 3 kiddos!
Thank you, thank you. We are presenting a purity gift to our daughter this week and this message will accompany our gift.
I’m pre-deciding to be intentional in my time with my children. It’s going by too fast!
What wonderful words of wisdom to get the conservation started.
Thank you for encouraging us.
I need this book….I love the quote you put up a day or two ago “saying yes the everything doesn’t make you wonder women just a worn out women”…you are preaching to the choir!
Thank you! So many times you feel like you are lecturing and that is truly NOT what you are trying to accomplish. This gives us a tool, a guide, and cannot wait to get started with this method of discussion!
I am going to share with they youth at church who are starting high school that God will lead and guide them as they start this new school. That God will be with them and help them through the day and to stand tough!
With my 13 yr old son and to start with my 8 yr old daughter.
Thank you for this post! Even though I don’t have children I find this so helpful. I am praying this one over my nephew, cousins and also myself. This is a great reminder to anyone that we must pre-decide where we will stand and whom we will stand with. God bless!
I love this article and can’t wait to share it with my boys.
We have been discussing this with our son who will be a freshman in high school this year. Thank you for your encouragement…being a mom is the greatest experience ever but also the most gut wrenching as we see what kids face today. I’m praying praying praying!
My three kids and husband. I want to predecide so many things in my kids lives as well as mine.
with my daughter and niece. This would help tremendously. 🙂
Both of my sons. One is going into middle school and one is going into high school this year.
Love your books! I’ll share this at church and with my daughters who are grown and live Godly lives, but I think that we all have areas in our lives where we need to pre-decide! Thanks a bunch!!
I would love to have a conversation with my family and friends. I think we all could learn from this.
Yes! I have a 12 yr old son. 🙂 Praying he will have a heart after God’s own heart. 🙂
I am Pre-deciding today to make this conversation priority. My son starts 7th grade and the pressures increase each passing year to say”yes”to so many things that seem so insignificant today. I wish this conversation would have happened
so many years ago. It could have saved so much hearache in my own life. I want so much for my children to have the tools to help them make wise choices today and to learn the value of an intimate relationship with our father God. Thank you for your post and writing your book. I really cannot wait to have this conversation with all 3 of my kids.
I would love to have this conversation with my 3 children. Two in highschool with one of those being a senior who is too close to entering the world on her own and one middle schooler. All of them will face most of these questions in the upcoming years. I hope and pray that the will pre-decide their answers and have the strength and courage to keep those promises!
Myself and my husband – you’re NEVER too old to pre-decide!! Our children – girls 15 and 17. And the College kids we mentor at church. Encouraging words – thank you!
Such good advice. Looking forward to reading.
I want this book to help better equip me when teaching and guiding my 3 children.
With my 13 year old daughter who feels alone right now!
I want to share this with my 13-year-old daughter. She is now interested in boys, has had some difficulties fitting in at school with other girls. She has a good heart, is funny and smart. For some reason other girls her age are intimidated by it. She wants so badly to fit in. I don’t want her to make poor decisions just so she’ll fit in. Her comment to me the other night broke my heart, “Mom, everyone (people her age) thinks I’m so perfect. I just want to fit in.”
Definitely having this discussion with my 12 year old daughter heading into 7th grade!
I’d love to have this conversation with my daughters and several of my almost 11 year olds friends. Sad when I see them trying so hard to fit in with the popular kids. I see them wearing makeup and listening to music their older siblings listen to just trying so hard to be more grown up than they are makes my heart hurt for them.
Just shared this with our senior in high school that is living with family to finish high school so we could be obedient to God’s call to Taiwan. She wanted us to be faithful by coming to serve MKs at an international school. Thanks for summing it up so beautifully.
Wonderful and wise suggestions. I will have the ‘Pre-decide’ with ANY young person I have an opportunity to share these thoughts with, as well as my daughters, age 22 and 24. They are not too old to be reminded of these very important topics.
Thank you!
With my nieces who are in college; especially one of whom has recently broken up with a boy entangled in an abusive relationship. I’m praying she will not go back to him.
Our students would LOVE this, and so would the womens group I’m leading. Can’t wait for this book!
I just read this to my 15 year old son. Somehow, I already feel better 🙂
My name is Samantha Evoy and I work for a film sales agency. We recently shot a spectacular family friendly film Catching Faith.
Right now we’re promoting our campaign and I wanted to reach out to you personally to see if you have any interest in being a part of this journey.
Please feel free to call me or email. Soon we will have screener teasers, as of right now we are just beginning the editing process.
Link to Catching Faith Campaign
Best,
Sam
Wish I had been given that advice
I wish to share this with all the kiddos on campus at a childrens home. These kiddos need so much guidance!
I am anxious for the book….what guidance
I want to do this with my employees and my daughter and husband. Thank you for being such an inspirational woman and mother.
I want to share this with my Son & daughter and all their “live in friends” we have. Excited!!!!
Our children….my husband and I have four between us. School begins Monday. We have one that is a Sophomore. Two of them are beginning high school ares Freshmen. Our youngest is entering Middle School in 6th grade. By year end we will have a 16-year-old, 15-year-old, 14 year old and a 12-year-old. I pray for them constantly. I pray God will surround them with friends and teachers who point them to Him and I pray that they will point those around them to Him. I love the scriptures you shared and am going to begin praying them one by one each day and praying the one for the day over each individual child today. Thank you for sharing!
I want to share this conversation with my husband and the people who come into our house. We have just opened a house in West Plains MO for people to come and rest. The only requirement for entrance is to be in pursuit of God and in need of a safe environment to allow God to work in your heart. Some who come are not even aware of the hurt He wants to heal but we are seeing hearts and minds restored for His glory. This sounds like a wonderful addition to our Stepping Stone House library.
Thanks for the words of wisdom…will be sharing this with my children.
Love this and excited to share all these important ideas and pre-decisions with my husband and three children.
My preteen, my pre-preteen, and my (8 year old) baby. This looks awesome.
I want to have this conversation with my 16 y/o daughter…. my 3rd child… my 2nd daughter. Because life is hard, especially for teens & times change so quickly. It’s a whole new ball game with each child & the devil is working overtime to lead our children down any wrong path he can get them down! I want to have the right words for my teen & the knowledge to talk with her about the issues she faces every single day! I want to reassure her that she is not alone!
I would like to have this conversation with my oldest 3 children who are teens and pre-teens. I also long for them to not follow in my footsteps of losing my way.
As for me, I would like to “pre-decide” to have fullness of joy. I homeschool and oftentimes find my joy is quickly lost throughout the day.
I choose fullness of joy.
Thank you 🙂
Great thoughts… planning ahead to make the wise choices.
Having this conversation with my son this weekend.
Thanks for the encouragement!
ME, teenage niece, and church women’s group. I so enjoyed the talk on Abigail -it was fantastic!! Thanks for all you all do!
I want to read this book so that I can discuss with my granddaughters . It is so needed in today’s world. To pre-decide is a great topic for any age.
My two middle schoolers and their sweet friends!
My teen children.
Love the article! Both my son and daughter.
My two sons who attend boarding school in a country different than the one we are serving in. Also for my two daughters who are just now entering their teen years. I desire them to always decide to say yes to God and his word and no to the world and it’s temptations.
My email was incorrect with my post!
Was just having this discussion with some fellow moms! Great scripture to pray over our children.
Thank you for this. It will be put to good use this fall.
For my 17 year old daughter, she is a senior this year ! This is a wonderful message!I wish someone had told me to pre-decide!
I would love to share this with our youth group at church and several of my parent friends. We want to start a parent child am a group where we can cone together with our children fir that one on one type bible study
My children, spouse, friends, family, and their children! We should all be so lucky to have someone who loves us enough to have this conversation! Honest, raw, and full of love! I cannot wait to read more! Thank you for sharing!
My daughter is a senior this year. Thanks for encouraging me. It’s important to grab all the little moments in life to guide them according to His ways.
Definitely my 18 year old son who is going into the Corps of Cadets at A&M this Wednesday. It has been a rough summer for him and us. He made some poor choices that we never saw coming. It’s very scary to send him out when he says that his heart is fine and his faith is his own, he needs no one. Yet his actions tell a different story.
My 3 daughters, ages 11, 14, and 16
My soon to be 14 year old daughter.
Awesome article. I work with the youth at our church and would love to share with them, as well as my “grown up” children who are 23 and 27. It really applies to everyone! Thanks.
Thank you for your encouragement to settle for nothing less than what Jesus asks of us.
Definitely my sweet 17 year old daughter who is about to begin her Senior year. I’m sure it will also be infused into multiple conversations in the youth group – my husband is a Youth Minister!
Great article! I have a middle school girl myself. This freaks me to no end!
I need this to share with my sons, ages 8 and 10. Thank you for the encouragement and discussion points.
I would love to have this conversation with my daughter that is in high school.
My kids are grown but would love to be able to have this talk with my grandchildren when the time comes
I’m sharing with my kids -23, 19, 14, their friends and my friends so they can share it as well. Thanks writing this and sharing it.
My daughter who is starting college and will be faced
Will all sorts of new unexpected things. Scary for me to
Think about her living on campus and what she will
See and hear. We raised her as we should now is her time to live it
My kids seem to be growing up too fast.. Not by circumstances but through the out of control feeling of time passing and being busy. What a great reminder to slow down and have intentional conversations.
Since we live overseas, I probably can’t win…but I will be sharing this with my 3 children. My oldest starts “high school” here this year and I am scared to death for her! Thanks for the words of wisdom 🙂
My daughter is sitting in her very first college class as I am typing this. We moved her into a dorm, 2 hours away, this past Friday. My heart hurts when I think of all the negative influences and un-Godly people she is surrounded by. I have raised my daughter to love the Lord. But I too know how deceptive the world can be. Thanks for sharing this!! Blessings!
Faith is my teenage daughter who has an excellent head on her shoulders but I want to equip her to think AHEAD and know what her answers will be when a situation arises. I think a lot of times we make the wrong choices because we aren’t prepared to have the perfect words to deal with things that come up quickly. Pre-deciding is an excellent way to head of these demons and have an answer prepared. This gives our children self confidence and responses to back up their choice and hopefully share God’s word and perfect love to their friends. Thank you for sharing and I am excited for the release of your book’
I have a three daughters, and a son. My oldest daughter is leaving for college at the end of the month. My children mean the world to me and my past mistakes in my life are something that I never want my kids to make. This is such a great talk to give to any kid, make them decide who they are. Cudos for getting your message out there, wished I knew then what I know now.
It seems our kids our growing up so fast. The decisions to be pre-made today are far more serious than I remember at that age. It is so important to have these conversations with our kids.
I have my grandson that is living with me right now. And he is in high school and what I love about him, he is so loving he is always helping others that is in need. But he does have a lot of peer pressure at school at 16 they are all learning their independent’s knowing that they have a challenges that are going to have to face. And I know I have to be there for him with Gods help. Listening too that small voice from Him. Yes we do have our differences but we do work them out and that’s where. Gods grace comes in and teaches me that I need to stop and listen to what he maybe going through. And this is a big Yes in my life right now to be able to share with him.
Thank And God Bless You♡
Sharing with my two daughters, college and high school. Great conversation to have!
My daughter starts 7th grade in a couple of days and I remember all too well how difficult junior high can be! I will definitely share these passages with her as a gentle reminder to honor God in her decisions. I’m looking forward to an honest and loving conversation with her!
I want to have this conversation with my teenager and the college girls I lead!
That was beautiful – sharing!
I have 2 daughters and a son I want to share this with. Thanks for sharing.
I would share this with my 5 year old who’s entering kindergarten. Of course simple version but helpful for me too as we enter this new tarnsition!
I want to have this convo with my kids but I also want to have it with my hubby (let’s decide today how we are going to spend our time for eternity) but I also want to have this convo with my bible study gals (let’s decide….well those girls know what that’s all about) and I want to have it with the stranger I come in contact with but I also want to have this convo, me and God, let’s decide together what my best yes is!
I admire the inspiration , love and wisdom of your teachings to your children . I wish we had more true role models like you and your family . If we did o”Our Country” would be a lot better off . Christianity and the BIBLE are very important . Without it I’m afraid to see what the world will be . I wish more of the people that were in a position about Christianity would step and make a great impact in promoting us to get back to out ROOTS !! And that’s GOD .
Beautiful 🙂
I wish for my children, my nieces and nephews, and my husband to pre-decide.
Myself; God still keeps teaching me!
Myself; God still keeps teaching me!
Pre-decide is very much needed in the world today. I will be sharing this will my kids. Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
Friday is my youngest child’s – and only daughter’s – 13th birthday. I plan to print this post [slightly edited] to insert in her birthday card.
Oh, that she would be able to avoid some of the mistakes and pain I experienced as a teenager by “pre-deciding” to listen to the voice of our loving Lord.
I’m going to share this blog on Facebook, I will include predetermined decisions in my conversation with my daughter this morning on our drive to her dad’s house. I am so grateful that God has given you this gift, love your books, they are very helpful. Thank you
Thank you for this post, Lysa! It is very applicable to my family right now. I just took my 17-year-old daughter (only child) 8 hours away from our new home (we moved 2 months ago) for her first year of college. Please pray for her to be strong in her faith and to “pre-decide” who she will be when temptations come. And please pray for me as I’m struggling with this transition. I am new to the city/state, don’t know anyone and am job-hunting. Thanks and God bless you and your family.
great challenge for all of us but I especially want my
grandchildren to pre-decide-not only so the choices
will hopefully be easier to make, but for their peace of mind now and
in the future.
Thank you for all the great insight you share. I will share this with my husband. We have two small children and are trying despartley to change in all the areas of our lives to better glorify God. When we can model how God can change us it will be something our children will not only see but be living also.
Today I will pre-decide that I will use the bible to be my voice and direction when I struggle instead of my own thoughts and emotions! Today I will pre-decide that I will work only at pleasing God in how I parent. Thank you again, and God Bless.
Love love love this!!!
Plan to share this with my children at dinner:-)
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom which I have decided to share with my husband and and children. I have pre-decided that I will trust God completely and obey Him no matter what the circumstances are before me. Our circumstances will never change the fact that God is good and He has our best interest at heart for His utmost glory and His glory alone. God bless your ministry!
I would love this bundle package not only for my small group but also for my 16 year old daughter. As I drove her home from youth group she burst into tears. Revealing that she doesn’t know how to be a leader anymore. She feels empty and is lacking wisdom on how to be the example and stand up and say no. She admitted that she is a people pleaser but doesn’t want to be any longer. She says she doesn’t have the strength to stand up and be the leader that God has called her to be. So instead she sits in silence pretending everything is okay. I would love to share your wisdom through this book with her, as we read it together. My heart is sad watching her in this battle. But we are victorious through Christ and he’s already won the battle. I think this book would be an amazing tool to help her fight. Thank-you!
I think that everyone in life has a few battle scars. The choices we make decides the size of the wound. If we bring up our children in way of the Lord and pray for them daily God will protect them and His Holy Spirit will guide them and, of course, we must have conversations with them about making good choices.