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What is the Secret to Not Freaking Out?

June 20, 2014

A couple of years ago I overheard my daughter Hope telling a friend that she was so glad I didn’t get all worked up over grades. Not trying to be nosey but totally wanting to be nosey, I kept listening.

She went on to explain that she and her brothers and sisters were expected to do their best, but in the end, as long as they work hard, Art and I were okay with whatever grade they received.

For the most part, this is right.

This hasn’t always been the case. When Hope started kindergarten, I felt compelled to help her succeed. I felt enormous pressure because I believed success in school meant success in life, and I wanted to set my child up for success.

She was a bright child. She was an articulate child. But try as I might, all through kindergarten she couldn’t read.

Then came first grade. All of the other kids in her class were reading with ease. Some were even reading chapter books! Not my daughter. I panicked. I had her tested. I worried constantly that I must be doing something wrong as her mother.

In the end, it was a readiness issue with her. When she was ready, she starting reading.

Then along came my next child, who was reading at four years old. Finally I’d done something right, I reasoned.

But then child number three came along, and she was my slowest reader yet.

Through all of this, God started to untangle the misperception that success in school determines success in life. And that as a parent, it is up to me to push, plead, demand, and determine my child’s future.

Slowly, I realized God has a plan for each of my kids. As long as I am depending on the Lord to guide me as a parent, nothing I do or don’t do will mess up my kid’s future.

As their parent, it’s my job to guide them, but my guiding shouldn’t have their success in the world’s eyes as the ultimate goal. My guiding should be focused on leading them into a relationship with God, where He’ll make their path straight, no matter what their grades are.

As a parent, this revelation has provided such freedom for me and my kids.

I can celebrate that if one of my kids excels in a subject, that particular success is needed for whatever God intends for them to eventually do in life. If, however, a child struggles and can’t grasp a certain subject—well, that’s also part of God’s direction.

Of course, working hard, doing your best, and being a conscientious student are important. But in the end, for me and my home, grades are not the ultimate determination of success.

This child may never make marks in school that the world highly esteems, but giving her the freedom to excel in the way God has designed her is already paying off. She has an eternal perspective that’s more valuable for her future than any academic accolade.

I’m convinced her struggles in school are actually God’s way to keeping her on the path He’s had for her since she was conceived. Hope was conceived only four months into our very rough start of a marriage. Art and I were two broken sinners thrust into the responsibility of trying to raise a child.

The day Hope was born I saw God like never before. His tender grace was handed to me wrapped in a pink blanket with eyes so wide, so blue, they were a sea of forgiveness forever staring back at me.

I’d never physically touched God, but that day I did. And maybe for the first time in my entire life, His hope rushed inside of me and started rearranging and redeeming my brokenness.

Hope.

We named her Hope.

Now, we won’t talk about the conversations I had with God when His Hope kept me up in the middle of the night for months after that. And we will save the story of how His Hope has always felt it was beneath her to be the child, and she would put her hands on her toddler hips and tell me not to boss her.

We’ll save those stories for another day.

Because I’ll never forget an e-mail I got from His Hope while she was on a mission trip. Hope was walking the broken roads of Ethiopia navigating poverty her mind couldn’t quite process. She bumped into sheep and a woman walking toward her house made of cardboard and ripped bedsheets.

Hope’s steps were steady, though her heart felt shaky as she loved on 30 kids dying of AIDS in a forgotten orphanage on the forgotten outskirts of town.

She wrote to say, “Mom, I’ve fallen in love. The kids rushed at me when I walked in and I tried to hold all 30 of them at one time.”

His Hope.

From a broken mama. Into a broken world. His Hope is still going forth like only His Hope can.

So, all that to say, yeah—I don’t get all worked up over grades. Trusting God’s plan is the only secret I know in the gentle art of not freaking out.

amimessingJoin thousands of other moms who are also looking to God for what they need each day with Proverbs 31 Ministries’ online Bible study of my book, Am I Messing Up My Kids? It begins July 13th and you don’t want to miss it. Click here for more information and to sign up today!

To get us started for the study, I’m giving away 5 copies of Am I Messing Up My Kids? to randomly chosen commenters. To enter, leave a comment telling me how you keep your freak-out moments under control.

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306 Comments
  1. Cat @ MaryMarthaMama

    Well, I’m still learning about all of this, but I try to think about how the tiny moments add up over time, and how I want him to remember love and grace and calm coming from me, rather than emotional outbursts of frustration and worry. I have a tendency to be emotional, so this has been really hard, but I’m trying to work on it.

    Reply
    • Nico Smith

      You are lazy!”
      That’s one of the things my parents constantly said to me when I was in high school. Boy, was that ever so fake. They weren’t understanding just how difficult… it was for me to grasp comprehension of certain things- like reading.
      “You should do homework before watching TV.”
      I was hearing that, too. On one particar
      occasion, my mom attempted to prohibit me from watching TV because the assumption was that I was watching too much TV instead of focusing on my homework.
      I even attempted college. I had to withdraw from courses because of the academic trouble I was facing, especially when I attempted to handle a full course load, rather than take on a reduced load (like what is suggested for the disabled students) because the University of Illinois at Springfield was not focusing on what I’d already done.
      To them, I had to start over.
      I had to begin again.
      Unfortunately, it seemed like they didn’t want to work with me, even if I was asking for help whenever I knew that I was struggling with certain subject areas or assignments.
      I had to give up the college dream because of the many challenges, which included transportation during the time I attempted to take one to two classes while not being on campus full time. Unfortunately, that was obviously not meant to be.
      Now, I know God obviously placed those education obstacles in my way to show me that education is not something that comes easy to everyone, and people with disabilities are no different.
      I know I have a learning disability of some type; however, I have never been tested. My brother was labelled as “learning disabled” in 1st grade because of having difficulties learning to read. He must’ve been to young or not exactly ready to advance from kindergarten.
      Now that I look back on this, back on my brother getting help overcoming his problem…well, I wonder just how come no one ever acknowledged the problems I’d been having.
      Now that the college dream has been thrown aside, I can focus on whatever God has in store for me. I am now married to the very best husband in the universe, who also has a learning disability of some type- as he can only read at a 3rd grade level. My reading and math are about a 6-8th grade level No matter how poor we are when it comes to academics, we love one another just as God has made us.

      “A couple of years ago I overheard my daughter Hope telling a friend that she was so glad I didn’t get all worked up over grades. Not trying to be nosey but totally wanting to be nosey, I kept listening.
      She went on to explain that she and her brothers and sisters were expected to do their best, but in the end, as long as they work hard, Art and I were okay with whatever grade they received.
      For the most part, this is right.
      This hasn’t always been the case. When Hope started kindergarten, I felt compelled to help her succeed. I felt enormous pressure because I believed success in school meant success in life, and I wanted to set my child up for success.
      She was a bright child. She was an articulate child. But try as I might, all through
      kindergarten she couldn’t read.
      Then came first grade. All of the other kids in her class were reading with ease. Some were even reading chapter books! Not my daughter. I panicked. I had her tested. I
      worried constantly that I must be doing something wrong as her mother.
      In the end, it was a readiness issue with her. When she was ready, she starting reading.
      Then along came my next child, who was reading at four years old. Finally I’d done something right, I reasoned.
      But then child number three came along, and she was my slowest reader yet.
      Through all of this, God started to untangle the misperception that success in school
      determines success in life. And that as a parent, it is up to me to push, plead, demand, and determine my child’s future.
      Slowly, I realized God has a plan for each of my kids. As long as I am depending on the Lord to guide me as a parent, nothing I do or don’t do will mess up my kid’s future.
      As their parent, it’s my job to guide them, but my guiding shouldn’t have their success in the world’s eyes as the ultimate goal. My guiding should be focused on leading them into a relationship with God, where He’ll make their path straight, no matter what their grades are.
      As a parent, this revelation has provided such freedom for me and my kids.
      I can celebrate that if one of my kids excels in a subject, that particular success is needed for whatever God intends for them to eventually do in life. If, however, a child struggles and can’t grasp a certain subject—well, that’s also part of God’s direction.
      Of course, working hard, doing your best, and being a conscientious student are
      important. But in the end, for me and my home, grades are not the ultimate
      determination of success.
      This child may never make marks in school that the world highly esteems, but giving her the freedom to excel in the way God has designed her is already paying off. She has an eternal perspective that’s more valuable for her future than any academic accolade.
      I’m convinced her struggles in school are actually God’s way to keeping her on the path He’s had for her since she was conceived. Hope was conceived only four months into our very rough start of a marriage. Art and I were two broken sinners thrust into the
      responsibility of trying to raise a child.
      The day Hope was born I saw God like never before. His tender grace was handed to me wrapped in a pink blanket with eyes so wide, so blue, they were a sea of
      forgiveness forever staring back at me.
      I’d never physically touched God, but that day I did. And maybe for the first time in my entire life, His hope rushed inside of me and started rearranging and redeeming my
      brokenness.
      Hope.
      We named her Hope.
      Now, we won’t talk about the conversations I had with God when His Hope kept me up in the middle of the night for months after that. And we will save the story of how His Hope has always felt it was beneath her to be the child, and she would put her hands on her toddler hips and tell me not to boss her.
      We’ll save those stories for another day.
      Because I’ll never forget an e-mail I got from His Hope while she was on a mission trip. Hope was walking the broken roads of Ethiopia navigating poverty her mind couldn’t quite process. She bumped into sheep and a woman walking toward her house made of cardboard and ripped bedsheets.
      Hope’s steps were steady, though her heart felt shaky as she loved on 30 kids dying of AIDS in a forgotten orphanage on the forgotten outskirts of town.
      She wrote to say, “Mom, I’ve fallen in love. The kids rushed at me when I walked in and I tried to hold all 30 of them at one time.”
      His Hope.
      From a broken mama. Into a broken world. His Hope is still going forth like only His Hope can.
      So, all that to say, yeah—I don’t get all worked up over grades. Trusting God’s plan is the only secret I know in the gentle art of not freaking out.”~Lysa TerKeurst
      Wow! How so incredible! God has an agenda for all of us, each different to meet whatever plans God may have set for each of us. Wonderful things can be done, no matter what we can’t do well whatsoever. Academics doesn’t mean anything in the plans God has determined for us.

      Reply
  2. Tracy Larson

    I love your writing! Thank you for being so honest with us all. To not freak out, I remember we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us… and to be patient because nothing grows fast except weeds. 🙂 It is always an adventure this life God has given us! God bless!

    Reply
  3. vicki

    Unfortunately, I dont do a very good job of keeping my freak out moments under control. Which is why I need this bible study even more than the last one I thoroughly enjoyed and grew immensely during. I can hear my child say, almost daily, mom its not time to freak out yet!

    Reply
  4. Cheryl

    My children (21,19) are young adults now, but I still find myself wondering if I did something wrong. Neither one of them were scholars in school, they were average, just like me. I would always tell them I could have done better if I had worked harder, hoping that would sink in. I often compare them to friends who’s children have gone on to college and think what did I do wrong. This article really helps me, to stop when I think those thoughts, in that this is God’s plan, and he is in control. We often times get told how nice, polite our young adults are, which is nice to hear. They know we love them, and are here for them, that’s the main thing. Thank you for your article Lysa, it was just what I needed to read!
    God Bless!

    Reply
    • Julie

      Your comments could have been written by me! Just add two more kids to the mix. It is so hard to remember the lessons taught in this article. But I’m learning them slowly. Maybe by the time my 14 year old is grown, I will have it down. Until then, I take comfort that God is in control and we have each other to lean on to get through the tough stuff. God Bless!

      Reply
      • Shannon

        A word in due season, as I struggle to find the right way to help my two adopted boys who aren’t at the top of the class by the worlds standards. Thanks for your encouragement as I hope to bring them stability in life and faith through these next few years they have left at home with us. I homeschool and some days it’s a struggle when nothing seems to click but then there are others when I see the world through their eyes, and I know all is right in their hearts.

        Reply
  5. Michele Morin

    This doesn’t sound very spiritual, but I’ve found that if I am stressed out about other things AND not well-rested, I am going to freak out. Therefore, trying to plan ahead, to say well-reasoned “no’s” as needed to keep from being too busy, and trying not to be completely sleep deprived are three big freak busters for me.

    Reply
  6. Missy Jennings

    I’ve found the best way to control my freak outs is to be honest and tell someone else, usually my husband or my best friend. Often I find they have the same concerns as I do about our kids/their own kids, and we are able to talk each other off the cliff. I also have to remind myself that God’s plan is usually something way bigger than what will ever show up in my kids’ grades or awards they receive. I have to realize that there is most definitely a bigger picture for them that I can’t even begin to fathom, let alone control!

    Reply
  7. Christine Marie

    This has reminded me so much of when I gave birth to our third child. We named him Eric. We had a bit of a struggle with agreeing on the names for our first two children but for Eric my husband and I both agreed quickly. We felt strongly that God was giving us strength through this child, and he did. The name Eric means just that, Strong. Both my husband and I felt we had done something wrong with our first two children. We sat at the dinner table many nights struggling to help them with their homework, wondering why they seemed so far behind? We totally blamed ourselves for their struggles. From the time Eric was born I began to pray that by the time he went to school that God would help us be stronger and not stress out about how he did in school and I prayed that God would use Eric for his Glory. That prayer began working right away. God gave me such a peace that people began saying to me, you seem too calm for a Mom of three, how do you do it? At that point I knew it was the Holy Spirit because I would have never described myself as calm…but I knew I could not allow the stress that had overtaken me in the past to continue to reign over me. Phillipians 4:6-7

    Reply
  8. Christina

    As a mom of 5 littles, I’ve wanted to get this book for a while. I don’t always hold the Momma Meltdowns at bay, but I know that when I stick to my routine of running & reading His Word in the AM, then I’m much more ready to handle the morning chaos with peace. Humor helps a ton…and letting go of unrealistic or non-essential expectations. And hiding in the other room to eat ice cream or chocolate while I talk myself off the ledge…

    Reply
  9. Elle

    Thanks for your blog. I just found out my son has some major serious issues he is dealing with and is addicted to. I confronted him and told him how much god loves him and how much I love him. And that I want to help him through this or get him the help he needs to deal with this. I pray for wisdom in dealing with this matter and that the Holy Spirit would turn his life around. Prayer, love and patience and staying calm and focused are what is needed

    Reply
  10. nancys1128

    It took me having a third child to start getting control of my mommy freak-out moments. I’m not sure it’s that I have busted them, or if I’ve just learned not to sweat it. Unless some one is broken or bleeding (badly) or is about to be, I’ve realized that freaking out usually makes the situation worse, not better. For me it’s a case of wisdom coming with age, but I sure wish it had come sooner, like when our oldest was 13 (he’s now 25) instead of when our youngest reached that age.

    Reply
  11. Halona

    I freak out all the time and apologize profusely afterward. It is a day to day struggle with four kids of a blended family. Lots of prayers!!

    Reply
  12. Christy Largent

    I think the biggest truth I tell myself is that this is not about ME! It’s difficult to remember because their good grades look good on me. Their first place finish at the swim meet looks good on me. Their involvement at church looks good on me. Right. It’s not all about me. It’s so much more than me.

    God chose my 7 and 10 year old kiddos for our family from the depths of China. He placed them right here with us to be loved and guided and nurtured straight to Him. So when I start “freaking out” about whatever it is at the time, I just remember, this is really about Him, not Me.

    Reply
  13. Jaime Albaugh

    This is so good. We should apply this “not freaking out” to every area of life…especially when it comes to the unexpected with our kids. We are facing some medical tests right now with my 8-year old. And while I know what I want the outcome to be, what I’m praying an believing for, I also am tryin to not freak out because I know His grace is sufficient no matter what. And the process of trusting and learning patience through this trial will build character in each of us and help make our faith more complete so that we are lacking nothing (James 1:2-4). God bless us moms…even when we do freak out! Lol

    Reply
  14. Kim

    Oh my, I wish I had a secret, but I am still working it. Lately it feels like I am setting the example of how not to respond. 🙂 Thank you for your honesty it has been very helpful. This might sound weird but your honesty is like a spiritual Mom in a book. You are a few years old then me and its what I am looking for as a Spiritual Mom/Mentor that offers the encouragement that I need. The only difference is that we are not face to face and we have never met or you have not met me but I have met you through your books, devotions and your blog.
    Kim S

    Reply
  15. Megan

    It hits me hard when my 4 year old daughter knows when to ask, “mommy, are you mad at me?” It makes me realize that i really need to keep my responses and freak out moments in check because she is always watching and learning from me. The more I rely on God and remember He has it all under control (even though I am a control freak), the less I have those freak out moments. I can truly rest in Him. This morning I read Psalm 16:5-6 and it spoke directly to me. It says, Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

    Thank you Lysa for this post and I am so excited for this online Bible Study.

    Reply
  16. Rebecca

    Loved this article. I think this study is something I really need right now. I am a 30 year old Sham of 5. Two of which I am homeschooling. I wish I could leave a comment telling how I have learned how to keep my freaking out moments under control, but the truth is my moments usually control me. Usually the end result is five little hurting hearts and a load of guilt that I can’t get rid of, which leads me to overcompensate the other direction and not discipline at all. I have a long road ahead. Motherhood is tough.

    Reply
  17. Shalena Douthit

    I so totally freak out when I have all 3 talking to me at once and it seems like all 3 conversations are just melding into one. I have to just stop and take a deep breath and say Lord please allow the words that are about to come out of my mouth be pleasing to You. I have so many times asked myself this same question over and over: am I messing up my kids with my frustration?? Thank you for this amazing post!!

    Reply
  18. CarolAnne

    Oh boys howdy! Wish I would have had P31 when I was a new mom! At that time, chocolate was the go-to helper.Now I do try to remember to ask the Holy Spirit for help!

    Reply
  19. Becki Hiatt

    Thank you for this message. My son will be repeating first grade next year. He is a precious 7 yr old that we were blessed with after suffering two miscarriages. I ended up having him five weeks early and he spent several week un the NICU. He now has some special needs that make learning much more difficult for him. He gets frustrated and it’s very easy to join in. I’m still trying to learn not to freak out. Your message of God’s purpose for our children is a great reminder that He has a purpose for His children. I look forward to watching what He does in my son’s life.

    Reply
  20. Tara

    Thank you so much for your blog entry today. God is constantly using you to speak truth into my life. One other way He is reminding me that He is in control of my kids and I am not is a picture I have hanging of an oak tree. It’s from the Max Lucado children’s book called The Oak Inside the Acorn and it is a beautiful story of an acorn that learns about God’s purpose for his life – plans to make him a might oak – not a bush or an orange tree or a flower. As long as I’m trusting in God’s plans for my kids I don’t have to create my own. Thank you Lysa and the P31 team for sharing your gift of writing with all of us! you are a blessing!

    Reply
  21. Tamera Jacks

    Having a barely 4, 2 1/2, and 1 year old I have a lot of freak out moments. I try to remember that I am training them how to respond all the time. Even though they won’t remember this age I can see already they take on so much of how I say things. I thank The Lord that most of their responses are kind. That is Gods gift to me that even though I fail often that most I the time I get it right. Because at the end of the day I really wonder if I am 🙂

    Reply
  22. Susan ruffalo

    Thanks for our awesome devotion. I need to remember that more often that our plans for our children aren’t Gods plans.

    Sometimes I put myself in time out. I always feel better afterwards.

    Reply
  23. Krystal

    Living LOVED. It’s the only thing helping me as of late, as I am really learning finally, at age 35, just how deeply loved I really truly to the tips of my toes am. And then I live more lovely and lovable with my littles too, when I live and love out of that place.

    Reply
  24. Donna Handley

    Lysa, thank you so much for your post, its exactly what God wanted my heart to hear today!! I have two girls, ages 6 and 4, and I remember feeling so self-conscious about my oldest daughter “showing out” at her preschool open house/parents’ night when she was 3. We (I) had worked with her so much on letters and colors that when the teacher pulled out some games for the parents to see what they had been doing, my child – eager to show her stuff – overruled the game and pointed out each color so everyone would be so proud of her. I was mortified, and to this day one of the other moms will barely make eye contact, much less speak to me! My fear/craziness about teaching her turned into a backfire moment and I was so ashamed that it appeared I was a drill sergeant at home who fully focused on academic learning and not much else.
    Fast forward 3 years, and my little one, (also named Hope) is not quite the accelerated learner, yet her heart is so open and willing to talk to Christ. Instead of wanting me to read books to her, she prefers to look at the pictures and make them up and “read” to me. It took me a while to figure it out (and I’m still learning day by day) that time with my girls has to be real, can’t be focused on all the “supposed to’s,” and that my freak out moments unfortunately revolve around me and my own expectations. Fortunately I figure God has a sense of humor, and thankfully He helps me deal with my craziness as I try to move through my freak out moments.
    Thank you for all you do and for all you are sharing your heart for Him! You rock!

    Reply
  25. Launa

    It is a hard thing to not “freak out” as a parent we only want the very best for our children young and older alike. I struggle daily with letting go and letting God put His Plan into place.

    Reply
  26. Jenna

    I am a young mom of 3, ages 9, 5 and 8 months old. I had my first child at the ripe ol’ age of 19. I still don’t know how to do this mom thing right. I worry constantly that I will somehow bring up my 2 daughters to look for love at a young age. I don’t have the best relationship with my mom and fear that because of that my children will feel the same way about me. I’ve been searching all week for a good Christian book to help me with all of this. I get your emails and honestly, sometimes I read them and sometimes I don’t. Something told me to read this email today and so hear I am. I don’t have an answer to your question, I freak out constantly.

    Reply
  27. Jill

    I’m still learning how to control the freakout moments. I find myself freaking out and then apologizing afterwards and feeling horrible. I need to be more aware in the moment and ask for God’s grace then, instead of after the moment when it feels too late. Thank you for your honest posts…they make me feel normal as a mother!

    Reply
  28. Renee

    There are always such beautiful truths in your posts. I love this and need revisit these thoughts in the rough parts of the school yr. Excited to read the book!

    Reply
  29. Carol

    Stopping a moment to count my blessings, a strategy Prov31 team emails and posts! : ) truly works after controlled silence so I don’t say anything I regret (also from you gals :-)!!!!

    Reply
  30. Lisa

    Only through God’s tireless grace do my freak-outs seem less and less but there are still more than I’m happy with. I am brought to tears with this incredible testimony, as I feel you have seen into my heart and wrote my struggle and “my hope” in your words. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably and so transparently.

    Reply
  31. Mindy

    Trying to focus on His past provision. Reciting/remembering how He has always taken care of the situation and how often I eas in a stew over something that “naturally” worked out.

    Reply
  32. Debbie F

    My kids are older now 25, 23, and 21. I have a very hard time keeping my freak out moments under control and wish I would have known about this book and P31 ministries earlier too. I still have those moments and I have to totally turn them over to God and let Him control as I know if I totally freak out over the things with college life etc at this age I will lose the relationship I have with them so I do a lot of praying for God to show them His way, the right way as they were taught and a lot of deep breathing!

    Reply
  33. Julie W.

    After a week filled with hospitals and doctor’s visits, I have tried not to freak out. (I did come very close to assaulting Nurse Ratchet, but I digress.) I have tried to cast a “wide net of gratitude”. My boy will live through this. His doc is one of the good guys. Our God is the Great Physician. My teenage son and I have had some amazing, deep, heart-to-heart conversations in the midst of this. For that I will choose gratitude over hysteria. For now.

    Reply
  34. Brandi Scarborough

    I keep my freak out moments under control by humor ! I try to see the humor in every situation so I don’t cry sometimes. 🙂

    Reply
  35. Diane Iverson

    Thank you so much for your message today! Our house too looks at grades by individual, and I tell my kids all that matters is that we are doing our best for God. If something doesn’t happen exactly the way we thought it should, we figure there is a message there, and it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. God is still in control, and He loves us very much! As long as we trust in Him, we will succeed! Thank you for your ministry!

    Reply
  36. Chris Carter

    Oh how I love love love this Lysa! What a beautiful story of God’s child living God’s Plan with God’s Purpose! There is always that tug and pressure to keep our children on the ‘right path’ with all the ages and stages of growth. I just recently wrote about this very thing!!
    We parents tend to think it’s about us… and our self-centered worries and pressures and laboring to do what’s best and what’s right- are surely significant and worthy of discerning. But how liberating and comforting to trust that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” with a “path already set before them”.. “that will not be shaken” or “thwarted”…

    And that He entrusts us to be witness to and love them in it and through it all.

    Your Hope… what a perfect example of God’s Hope!!!!!

    Reply
  37. SDB

    Prayer, asking for forgiveness and do overs. God’s grace gives me hope in those moments.

    Reply
  38. Jennifer D.

    I really try to evaluate what I am freaking out over to determine if it is of eternal significance. Does it really matter where they put stuff in their room or how they clean if different then me? Of course, some days are way better than others.

    Reply
  39. Lisa

    Oh, Lysa. Thank you for today. My sweet boy is not even 4 and I’m so concerned that he doesn’t want to remember his ABCs or what numbers look like. His pre-school wanted him tested and I fought it for so long because I know he’ll get it when he’s ready. But when they kept pushing, I thought, maybe I don’t know him like I think I do. HA! The testing revealed that he is totally in his age level percentages and he is fine. Yay! I knew he was okay and I do know my son and he’ll get it all when he’s ready. Trusting in myself is hard and I am just praying a lot lately that I can be calm, because there’s really nothing else I can do. God loves me and my family and knows what’s best for all of us. Holding on to that truth really helps. Looking forward to the study. Thanks!

    Reply
  40. Chris Carter

    Umm… I didn’t *read the directions* so I’m back. I was reading the other comments and was wondering why everyone was talking about their freak out moments so much. Ha! I was so taken away by your message that I missed that last part about the giveaway!

    Gosh. I freak. I do. But really, I have grown a lot since having endured so many hard years with my daughter who was so sick. God has truly strengthened me in His Promises and His Truth. I usually just freak at the little stuff… like the fact that my kid has left his socks out on the back deck for THREE days in the pouring rain. The big stuff? I handle almost better because I KNOW that God’s got it. As hard as it all is- I see the record of His Blessings and His Provision in the history of our lives. I have learned the hard way, that every twist and turn in our children’s lives will come with new light and new purpose. So I trust that. And I make it my mission to teach my kids to trust it too.
    Psalm 139. LOVE it and teach it to my kids and my teens in the ministry I lead. I call it God’s Love letter to His children. Oh the Power in that Psalm!

    Reply
  41. Marsha W.

    I pray ALOT!! I remind myself that I’m not in control and I remind myself that Jesus is in control.

    Reply
  42. R. Marie

    Sometimes when I don’t freak out on the outside, I know inside I need to quiet my heart and get His perspective. A cup of tea helps me to sit down and pause.

    Reply
  43. michelle

    Thanks for sharing thus story of Hope. Helps me to look to the future beyond diapers and meltdowns. God bless!

    Reply
  44. Stephanie

    I have to remind myself constantly that God is so patient with me… I need to extend a measure of grace to my children too. That’s usually after the fact, when I tell myself I blew it -again! But so encouraged knowing that God’s not finished with me or my kids yet. Thankful for his faithfulness! Having a break in the day or week away from my kids, who I homeschool and so I am with ALL the time, helps too. Glad my oldest is now 13 and I can leave for short periods of time now.

    Reply
  45. Jodi M

    Oh, I pray and walk away. I give myself a time out to breath and pray and cry. Single moms, well at least this one, has many freak out moments!!

    Reply
  46. Amanda

    I have to count to 10 an take deep breaths. Sometimes I have to remove myself. My about to be 3 yr old (tomorrow) threw a fit in Walmart today. One of those where everyone is looking at you like you’re a horrible parent, quiet that kid up!? Ugh hate those moments :/ we got through it though. Sometimes he needs some “me” time to let it out…he’s not talking well yet. Lots of prayers too help me 🙂

    Reply
  47. Chastity Ray

    I’m bot perfect at keeping my freak outs under control but I try to stop and think, “is this worth freaking out over?” Most of the time it is not. I find if I keep myself calm then the kids react the same way by not freaking out over every little thing.

    Reply
  48. Sue R.

    I’ve learned much from my husband, Ron, about “freaking out.” Ron asks the question, “Is this a hill I’m willing to die on?” If so, he persists in the matter; if not, he walks away. Since I am now a grandma and further along in my life journey, I’ve learned to trust that God is doing in my children’s lives what He knows needs to happen so they will grow into the people He designed them to be. I’ve learned that God and His ways can be trusted, and as a result am more likely to relax rather than “freak out.”

    Reply
  49. Amanda Evans

    Pray in the moment!

    Reply
  50. Kera

    I freak out. I freak out A LOT. By the grace of God I’m slowing getting better… and I hope I’m not messing up my kids. :/

    Reply
  51. Sue

    Oh how I needed this! And I am trying (repeat TRYING) to turn to prayer in my freak out moments. And out of 3 children, my first 2 did great and then came the youngest who has challenged me in every way. But so proud this year when for the first time (5th grade) he received an award for making honor roll all year AND the outstanding citizenship / Christian Character Award. Talk about a shocker! Thank you, Jesus <3

    Reply
    • Tonda

      My husband and I have received Christ just over two years ago. We have three beautiful children. I love the way you lean on the Lord. Lysa you are an inspiration to me.

      Reply
  52. Carol

    Sadly even with kids 29,25,23,20,16,16 and 10…I still have trouble not freaking out. I have noticed that I’m better at what I freak out about. Two are married and so it’s easier to just let them be. Still worry, when choices they make may not be the same as I would choose. But, I don’t let them see. My others, it’s still tough. I hope I try to instill just doing their best in all things.
    They each have a different path. And our job is to help guide them on the path God has for them. Not an easy task, especially when they seem to be straying a bit.
    What a great giveaway! Hoping to join this study.

    Reply
  53. Jamie

    I have a son who just turned two. He has been throwing tantrums for a while…..Mostly, because he couldn’t communicate very well. We taught him to ask us for help instead of crying when he needs help with something. Also, I always tell him “I know you are upset but you have to tell me what is wrong. I can’t understand what you need when you cry”. The worst is changing his diaper though. lol Those fits require a bribe like, “we will do _________ after you change your diaper”. It has worked wonders just talking to him calmly. Now, he reply’s to everything “ok”. 🙂 I know it won’t always be like this. I’m just trying to enjoy this season of his life.

    Reply
  54. Shannon

    A word in due season, as I struggle to find the right way to help my two adopted boys who aren’t at the top of the class by the worlds standards. Thanks for your encouragement as I hope to bring them stability in life and faith through these next few years they have left at home with us. I homeschool and some days it’s a struggle when nothing seems to click but then there are others when I see the world through their eyes, and I know all is right in their hearts.

    Reply
  55. Lindsey

    I have a 3mo old, 3 and a 5 yr old. When all is in chaos I take a time out and go to my room and say Jesus’s name repeatedly. Sometimes I just do this in front of the kids. I think they now know that means mommy is upset and needs Jesus to help. It had helped me keep from freaking out a lot. I’m waiting for the day one of them will do that and I will probably lose it happily sense they like to pick up my habits:)

    Reply
  56. Christy

    WOW! Your words resonate in my soul and have opened the blinders on my eyes! We are starting a private school next fall, for kids whom the system doesn’t work for, and for families who want God to be at the center of EVERY part of their kids’ lives! If your blog post is just a snippet of what your book has in store for me….I will be on my knees a LOT! Thank you for these revelations!

    Reply
  57. Samara

    Lysa, thank you for those words today, from someone with older children, and experience. I have a 10 year old son, and an 8 year old daughter and society is so mad on achievement and doing better than everyone else, and pushing your kids to keep getting better, and while sometimes this is good, it can also cause a lot of pressure, especially with my son, who struggles a bit. But I totally agree with you that we’re working towards our children having a relationship with God, and following his plans. And boy, does God have a good and perfect plan for each of our sons and daughters lives! It’s good to be reminded of that. Thank you. And I’m looking forward to your study too. Us parents could all do with some of that.! With love, Samara ( in England.) x

    Reply
  58. Carol

    I love reminding myself that each of my kids is a gift from God, and as parents we are blessed to enjoy these treasures. Every day reveals more of God’s intention for creating them. Their talents are to be embraced and we should thank God for every child. Oh, and a lot of days can be like opening a gift you didn’t need or want! God does have a sense of humor. 😉

    Reply
  59. Melissa

    I take our dogs into the backyard or for a walk when I feel craziness rising up on me. My dogs settle me and always seem to know what to do to get balanced. Thank God for a low wing our rescue dogs to rescue me and my family!

    Reply
  60. Denise F

    My husband and I were just faced with the decision of whether or not to have our son repeat first grade. He struggled all year with reading and writing. Math was a challenge as well. I was on the verge of freaking out. I prayed for wisdom and direction to make this life altering choice for my son. I believe God answered my prayer when his teacher said, “he’s smart enough, he just needs more time.” I am more at peace with the decision to have him repeat, we know that he would have struggled even more in second grade. But I really hope we didn’t mess up.

    Reply
  61. Lyane

    i’m still trying to learn not to freak out. i am homeschooling my kids, and when they don’t learn something as quickly as i think they should, i feel that it’s a personal reflection of ME. i keep trying to remind myself that the most important thing is to teach them to walk with Jesus. that’s so hard because I have so much to learn on that subject.

    Reply
  62. Lydia

    Oh how I wish I had the perfect solution for keeping my freak out moments under control. It seems like this has been my constant work in progress. I am daily working on giving my anxiety, my worries to God. I pray that I can find peace when I tell myself that I am doing the best that I can and that their lives are in God’s hands. I am blessed to have an amazing group of friends that I can go to and talk through my freak out moments. Our Heavenly Father has also richly blessed me with an amazing husband who listens, comforts and reassures me on a daily basis. I find that talking through my emotions helps me keep my worry at bay.

    Reply
  63. Kelley Wallace

    Usually my freak out moments are tied to rushing. If I keep our schedule manageable by not over committing to activities, I freak out less. A sweet mama is more important to my kiddos’ well-being than yet another activity.

    Reply
  64. Rebecca Gumbs

    A few years ago, a friend of mine was dying from breast cancer, and as I knelt to pray for her, the only words that came forth were…Jesus Jesus Jesus. Jehovah Shalom came to me that day and wrapped His perfect peace around my heart. I am a school teacher, and I can’t tell you how many times the name of Jesus has stilled many storms in the classroom. As far as my children go saying the name of Jesus is more to still me and allow me to truly see and hear their hearts in th middle of the crisis, because only then can I truly address it in a Godly way.

    Reply
    • Samara

      Thank you Rebecca. That’s a really helpful comment. I’m going to try that this week love, Samara in England x

      Reply
  65. Janice

    When I start to ‘freak’ out I remind myself that my kids are God’s children and I’m just caring for them here on earth and God doesn’t make mistakes, he make masterpieces.

    Reply
  66. deb

    I’ve learned a lot since my kids were little, I still have a long way to go. I try to stop when I am having a “freak-out” mode, and pray. I pray for guidance, peace, the right words to say, etc. In the end, I am the one more at peace and feel like I can handle the situation better, more calmly.

    Reply
  67. Michelle Sylva

    I myself was never to be successful in the eyes of many in this world. Before having kids I thought that the material possessions I bestowed equalled my success. My son Ricky was Born June 23rd 2004 and when I laid eyes in him I knew none of my material possessions mattered. As I learned to be a mother I have come to see that no matter how hard I strive for my sons success he will be what God has set for him to be. I know this every time I watch and join him pray. The words that flow from his mouth during this time with the Lord reassures me that when all else fails in life and no matter how many times he doesn’t equal up to what the world may qualify as success, he is always a winner in my eyes because of his relationship with God and how God continues to love him. Each day both of my children are a success in the eyes of God because of the love, commitment and determination they show to live by Gods word. So when I feel myself being pressured by the world to push my children harder for a unseen definition of todays word of success I remember and pray that I continue to lead my children to live, love and succeed by living by Gods word.

    Reply
  68. Jessica Hines

    I take a breathe, and remember that my kids are in God’s hands and that he loves them even more than I do. It helps me to stay calm while they are growing up and starting to venture out on their own.

    Reply
  69. Ree Clark

    I have 2 teenagers and a 12-year-old with special health care needs. I have to be a voice of calm in the midst of a sometimes chaotic schedules and seasons of life. I often look at the examples in the Old Testament of how they handled the tough times of life (like Elijah, David, etc.). It encourages me to see those examples of perseverance.–Ree

    Reply
  70. Mia

    I sing the Matt Maher song “Lord, I need you”. Sometimes my little ones join in 🙂

    Reply
  71. kris jacobson

    I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten and she reviewed a “check”. Instead of a plus. I put her on restriction for that night. Luckily i dropped Kayla off at school three next day and spoke with the teacher and discovered all the kids reviewed a check in this stress. I’m happy to say that since then if Kayla recieved a low grade in a subject we didn’t punish her; we just found a suitable tutor. This has worked well and Kayla its am awesome child. She had a strong relationship with Good and Jesus and is active in her church. She’s ranked 3rd on her class and the really cool thing is she doesn’t know or care about that. I strongly believe that its none of my doing that’s bringing her success; its her relationship with God and her willingness to work . I just have to remember to keep out off the way 🙂

    Reply
  72. Deann

    Thank you for this. I have really been struggling with my 10 year old daughter and this really hit home.

    Reply
  73. Jeanette

    When I freak out about raising my three precious children, I take a deep breath and remind myself that two of God’s gifts of the Holy Spirit are self control and love. He asks that I use those gifts, freely given, to daily raise them to be the people He has created them to be.

    Reply
  74. Elonda

    I feel this way every day..

    Reply
  75. Tracey B

    Tears here after reading !! My husband and I are trying to decide where to send my son to school next year….and we are NOT agreeing. This post helped me to stop focusing on the school with a ‘better academic program’. My son has a heart for Jesus! And I want him to chase it no matter what school—either one is a good school. But ultimately my hope is for him to stay on track with God’s plan

    Reply
  76. Judy Harvey

    I am raising my two granddaughters ages 12 and 13. When I feel I am about to lose it , instead of counting to 19—-I say ” Our Father who art in Heaven. Howard ne thy name. Thy kingdom come”. 10 times. So far, seems to help them and me as I say it out loud

    Reply
  77. Nicole

    I have a newborn baby and when I’m anxious and about to lose my mind, I remind myself that the devil is trying to steal my happiness. I should be enjoying every new moment and the devil wants to turn something so beautiful into a negative experience.

    Reply
  78. Angela Diemer

    I have so many heart wounds from my childhood/teen/early adulthood from the lack of upbringing I had. As well as not a God centered home. Perfectionism was the only way to receive anything positive. If you did something perfectly then you may get some praise but it was always followed with “you should have done this” …I used to be terrified that I was going to ruin my boys hearts and then God spoke to me. He told me to trust Him with their hearts because He is living in ours. Ahhh..I love how he tells me things that just make me melt. Thank you for the post, a great reminder to keep my eyes fixed on Him and not on what the others say to do or not to do. Great words to read for this homeschooling mama!

    Reply
  79. Amber Perry

    I work real hard to keep things in perspective, that each day builds on the next. I have a 1st grader and a 4 yr old so we are just starting with school, sports and so many things. The thing that I always remind myself is that God has all of this under control. I love dreaming of my children’s futures and look forward to seeing what God does in their lives and how he pulls it all together! Praise the Lord that we don’t do this alone!

    Reply
  80. Danyelle

    Thank you for this! I am still a work in progress on this. During my freak out moments I try to take a deep breath and ask myself “ok, what am I really freaking out about and how important is it? Is it something that is going to matter 5 years from now?” I also pray!

    Reply
  81. Heather Marriage

    Today was my eldest daughters last academic day of her first year of school. All the days to come are fun days to celebrate the end of the school year.

    It is the first year (of what I suspect to be) many where I say “where did the school year go?!” I have been reviewing the year and my success as a parent, pondering the very same things you just wrote about.
    What I have found helpful in the last year is creating prayer cards that I turn over each day, with a new request for God’s development of character in my two girls (and by extension, my own). This has released me of the idea that I am responsible for how my children turn out. I have found peace in knowing that I do my best, and that added to God’s best, will result in the product HE is creating in my girls.

    Grades don’t matter much within out walls either–but character and bringing joy to the Father’s ♥ –that is what we aim for. Thanks for today encouragement ☼

    Reply
  82. Courtney D

    Prayer…..lots of prayer!!!

    Reply
  83. Kathy

    My “secret” to not freaking out? Pray, pray, pray….seek godly counsel, laugh at myself, try my best, and then….pray, pray, pray…. Love your posts Lysa. Thanks always for your honesty. Wish I could meet you someday.

    Reply
  84. Christie

    I’m so not there yet. But I do try to remember to ask myself if whatever the issue is will matter in an hour or a month or ever…usually it’s not worth freaking out over. (Like when my precious 2 year old shook her entire bowl of corn flakes out around the living room and then proceeded to stomp them into the floor. I realized that if I vacuumed then, it really would NOT matter an hour later. And not worth screaming over. Even though I wanted to).

    Reply
  85. Tami Taunton

    One day, my now 12 year old, 4 at the time, in one of my “freak out” moments said to me, “mommy, your face is scaring me” … That is all it took… I wish I could carry a mirror in my pocket for those freak out moments to glance the scary face before I respond. Truthfully, I try to stop, breathe, think of the tender voice of my 4 year old and look on her precious face, to remind me to respond in love not emotion. Children will mirror and mimic us (So I have learned the hard way) this prompts me to pause before I respond and regret. I fail daily but, thankful for new mercies God grants us each day… only by His grace ~ Tami

    Reply
  86. Nancy Johnson

    I freak out still!! That is why I can’t wait for this online bible study! I try to take a deep breathe and say to myself, “be still and know that I am God”!!!

    Reply
  87. Rebecca

    You have no idea how timely this blog post was for me! I am trying to homeschool my children this summer, and I’m about to pull my hair out. My two boys are so incredibly different, and I know the Lord has different plans for them. I am trying so very hard to not lose my temper, to exhibit patience, to exhibit love, to be a good teacher and to be a good mom…despite the fact that one of my children refuses to ever read directions or look at the examples I’ve given him for guidance. It is killing me. I tell myself over and over that God has patience with me, so I should have patience with this child. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I break and freak out. I would love this book!

    Reply
  88. Amy Brooks

    Stay calm, and pray, pray, pray! I have to think to myself how is God using this moment to teach my 4 year old something that will form him to be more like Christ or used by Christ, rather than how embarrassed I feel by his actions. Every day, every moment is a chance for him to learn something that will help him become a better servant for The Lord. Do I really want to interfere by freaking out? Easier said than done, bit through God’s grace, love and mercy, we do have the power to change and impact our children’s lives forever.

    Reply
  89. Katie Oldham

    I’m a single mom, a widow, of two darling little daughters ages 4 and 6. How do I keep from freaking out? I look into the eyes of my babies and see the love of the Lord because I realize now, three years losing my love, my biggest blessings exist alongside my deepest despair. I just have to remember to breath, be present and be in God’s Word with them….then their eyes always remind me.

    Reply
  90. Denise

    I need this book and will be joining this bible study. I ask myself this all the time. I love all your posts!

    Reply
  91. Kacey

    Stop and remind myself that He is God and trust that it’s all going to be ok.

    Reply
  92. Carolyn Rogers

    Ouch! I guess I needed to hear this. You are so right…I just worry so much. What a godless thing, huh? Anyway, thank you for saying what I needed to hear and reminding me what I know in my heart is what I want most for my kids – that they walk with God all their days. Have a great weekend!

    Reply
  93. Joyce Speight

    I have a daughter with dyslexia and a gifted son. I have struggled to keep a balance to reward my son for his achievements and praise my daughter for her hard work that still results in low outcomes. I have learned that we are uniquely made and all have strengths and weaknesses. God sees us for our unique qualities and he does not care what number is on our paper at the end of the day. What matters is how we strive to be more like him. I remind both of my kids that I am always proud of them and love them. It is the work they put in that counts. I sure hope that we do not have to recite the presidents in order in heaven:)

    Reply
  94. michelle

    I have 7 children from 30 to 8… I struggled with what success looked like… I said I would be happy if they walked with the Lord… I have a few who have chosen not to… Still walking through feeling like a failure and trusting the Lord for my day to day walk…

    Reply
  95. Faye Smith

    You no god wants us to train them up in the way they should go we have to slow it down we are thinking the worlds way every child has to have straight A s but that’s not true people of god why stress stop looking at other children some are on different levels some learn fast some learn at a slower paste but it doesn’t mean they want get to were they are suppose to be .ask god when u pray to give you a more excellent way on how u can get your child on the level she or he need to be on in his word he tells us to pray about every thing just be honest with god and believe I wouldn’t be saying this if I haven’t been through it after I fast and prayed about my grand child that wasn’t suppose to talk walk less on read he is now 12 yes old doing everything that I ask God for in my pray
    Pray time u just have to totally trust god in every situtation not some in every situation i mean this from the bottom of my heart he will do it if you give it to him its nothing to hard for God. Amen I’m a living testimony !!!!

    Reply
  96. staci torgerson

    I’m having a really hard time with my freak out moments of late. I know what my girls are capable of, especially my 10 yr old, and when she doesn’t because of laziness or defiance I have a hard time not coming down on her. I truly, desperately need this book.

    Reply
  97. lauren brown

    I am so thankfult for your transparency Lysa. You have given me so much hope for myself. I am 50 years old and the LORD blessed me with two amazing daughters who are now7 & 5. I had no idea of how much i would need to grow up and be sanctified to be the best mother i can be. I fall short every single day as i struggle with a quick temper…self esteem and control issues. With God only can i be transformed into the woman HE created me to be. Your insight…books and honesty have opened my heart to allow God into my ugly places. I have hope and forgiveness because of Jesus and He has used you to usher it in. Thank you so
    much. God Bless all of the precious children and God help all of the Mamas.

    Reply
  98. Kelly

    To help keep me from totally freaking out I will take a deep breath and try to calm myself down before blowing my top. Sometimes this works, and I am able to diffuse myself and see it as not a big deal and just roll with it….BUT many times it doesn’t work and I lose it and become angry…wish I didn’t. I will often just say help me Jesus or something like that when I am about to blow but have had presence of mind enough to not let the reaction out of my mouth yet.

    Reply
    • Kelly

      Oh PS, one day I started singing I’ve got the joy joy joy down in my heart song while my 4 year old was having her freak out in her room….I was surprised at how it worked to soothe me, I remember asking Holy Spirit for a healthier coping method and I am so thankful for that song in that moment…I became responsible for my feelings and decided not to let her control me. Thankful for His leading

      Reply
  99. sarah

    I breathe, I try to focus, I pray, and I ask for help. All of these were lessons I learned the hard way. For some reason I can’t learn from the easy path.

    Reply
  100. Sabrina Ebert

    The name of this book…wow! Why wouldn’t anyone who is rearing children not want to do this study. I’m a mum to an almost 3 year old. I’m 9 months pregnant and awaiting the arrival of a new child to make our family four any day now.

    My biggest fears is not being the steward that God wants me to be for His children that He entrusted me with.

    Why? Well a couple if weeks ago, I get news that my nephew has tried to commit suicide. My sister is torn and why wouldn’t she be. Which mum wants to hear her child has no desire to live. I look at her life, she grew up under the Word but abandoned her walk with Christ after marriage. Her husband and her chose not to let their different set of beliefs into the marriage and as a result my twin nephews never grew up in church…never went to Siunday school, never got taught how much Jesus loved them. They grew up, became radical atheists and now one wants to end his life.

    I might not do it right all the time…I fall short but I’m learning and never want to be in my sisters shoes. I want to be led, be guided and taught new truths to improve myself so
    I can better take care if my family…a God given one that I want to cherish!

    Signing up for this study is no brainer…

    Looking forward to wrapping up my current study Limitless life with P31 and starting this new journey.

    Reply
  101. Elaine Segstro

    I still “freak” out with my 21 and 24 year old sons, but I have to trust and let go.

    Reply
  102. Laura

    Holy God moment! I was just freaking out over my kids not listening and acting up in wal-mart about 5 hours ago. I was positive I was doing something wrong to mess them up. On the way home I prayed for God to lead me as their mother and just make me the mom He intended me to be for my kids. Then I read this post and it just confirms how I felt after my prayer-don’t worry. We all act up and God loves, forgives, and guides us anyway. Thanks for being so real!

    Reply
  103. Samantha P Thomas

    Prayer…lots of prayer and reminding myself about imperfect progress!

    Reply
  104. Amanda w.

    I’d love to win a copy of this book! God recently called me away from a full-time career where I worked outside the home to be a full-time at home mommy. I am so grateful for His direction & provision for our family because I have 3 small children & this bible study sounds like just what I am now needing!!!

    Reply
  105. Charis

    Thank you for writing this. I’m a missionary mum in a West African country and I’m having to make some sacrifices regarding my kids’ education. And sometimes it takes so much strength to not get worked up, especially because of my middle child, who doesn’t do as well as his brothers.

    Thank you for pointing me to the place of rest.

    Reply
  106. Tina

    When I’m about to freak out, I take a deep breath, try to actually SEE what’s going on, rather than just hear, and assess the situation before I completely lose it.
    YA RIGHT!!
    I try to do this more often than I don’t.
    I hope I do, anyway.
    Am I messing up my kids? Maybe, but they’re in God’s hands ALWAYS and I trust Him to take care of them when I’m not physically there. Even when I am and I am about to “freak out!”
    Thank you Lysa, for always saying it like it REALLY is as a Mommy.
    ~Tina 🙂

    Reply
  107. Tina

    I take a deep breath, pray, take another few minutes to collect my thoughts then speak. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen all the time.

    Reply
  108. Bethany

    When I feel a freak-out moment coming on. . . I just crank up the Christian music and dance around like a mad woman! My kids think this is funny and they join in the will dancing. They know it’s my way of controlling my freak-out! Eventually one of them will try to put me in time out, which turns into a game!! Cracks me up and keeps a smile on my face! 😀

    Reply
  109. Sandy

    Dealing with freaking out moments now! Daughter is 18 and never given us any trouble, until now. God speaks to us in different ways, even if it sometimes is through social media and text.

    Reply
  110. Sharon

    This is what I needed. I have been freaking out a lot.AKA yell… and my baby is just starting Kindergarten… what’s wrong with me.. she will learn to read in school.. I stress out.. I compare… I just need to stop freaking out and trust God since he knows what’s best for her… not me..
    I really need this study!

    Reply
  111. Jessica W

    Thank you. I needed this. I woke at 4 am wrestling with choices and decisions I’ve made when it comes to my 4 kids, particularly my two older boys 13 & 14. I tried to quit my. Ind with prayer and then decided to go online for some encouragement and found this post.

    Reply
  112. Marlene

    When I want to freak out, I take a deep breath and whisper a prayer to Jesus to help me through the moment.

    Reply
  113. Becca

    Thank you for this timely message! Two weeks into summer and after being at home with my three kiddos all day most days, I lost it within TWO minutes of them being awake. I told them Mommy needs 15 minutes ALONE & then I would get everyone breakfast. During that time I cried out loud to God, “I’m not going to be able to do this!!” To which He said back, “You kinda have too..there is no other option.” I prayed, read some Psalms. And after my time was up (it went too fast!), I felt somewhat refreshed and apologized for my poor reaction and asked them to work really hard at being kind to each other.

    Reply
  114. Candace Ham

    Thank you for this reminder… I have to remind myself that teaching my kids to be Kingdom minded in life is the most important aspect of why we areally here. Every mom wants there kid to just be smart and good at things, but you can’t put a grade on showing them what a relationship with Christ is on a daily basis and there is nothing more rewarding then seeing your child grasping and living out Christ here on earth. I pray that my children will grasp that more than anything else.

    Reply
  115. Lori

    Thank you for your words today! I have an aspergers child who struggles with grades among other issues and some days life is hard. Prayer, prayer, and more prayer is how I try to to keep from freaking out.

    Reply
  116. Marsha

    Wow Lysa, where do we all begin? Born imperfect, striving to be the parents God wants us to be. Freak out moments, absolutely! Forgivness, always requested! Love, followed by hugs and kisses. Learning, each and everyday. Walking the journey of parenting has been by Faith, Hope and LOVE. Prayer and Forgiveness are such an important role in this walk of life. And patience, learning and teaching this concept so that both our children as well as us can use time to think, to search and to accept. Thanks for offering the Bible Study. Life gets messy, this world is getting to be more of a mess and raising a family whether small, grown or even their little additions takes a body of Christ and HIS leading.

    Reply
  117. Shelly Lott

    I have spontaneous 2 year old triplets and a 4 year old. Freak out moments happen and I have used your saying, “If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, it’s okay.” Just this week I heard Him gently speak to me to “ALWAYS be gentle.” So, I have been repeating those words when they don’t make it to the bathroom in time and have a trail of pee-pee throughout the house or they are all whining, yelling, and screaming at one time. I love my wild and crazy home and thanks to your guidance through these freak out moments my kids hopefully won’t remember me as the out of control mom.

    Reply
  118. Lauren

    I watched my own mother allow God to change her as she raised her 4 daughters. With the 2 oldest children, she freaked out often, but as she matured in her faith and her age, she mellowed and allowed God to speak to her children more than she spoke. She was slow to speak and slow to anger. She knew that her wrath didn’t produce God’s righteousness and she became a different kind of parent. I strive to follow her example, remembering just only God changed her, not her own will power. So, as I raise my 3 children 4 and under, and my freak out moments are often, I ask The Lord to change me the way He did my mom.

    Reply
  119. Margaret

    The only way I don’t freak out on my sons is by taking a deep breath before I react/speak and while I am doing that, asking The Lord for His wisdom for the situation which he promises to give.

    Reply
  120. Cheryl P.

    I am a mother of a strong willed 16 yr. Old boy. I have tried to push my son to want to make good grades because I, like you, felt that if he cared about excelling in school then he would want to excel in life. Your statement that my guide should be focused on leading him into a relationship with God. My son asked God into his heart at a young age, he attends a Christian school but He is choosing a path and friends (from public school) that don’t share the same faith of our family. I see him heading down a path that doesn’t look bright. It is a battle with him to get him to attend church and youth functions. It scares me because I see him goung away from God. Pray for him and the chouces he makes. I have alwats been a very hands on and in your business kind of mom and I am having to let go and let God! I struggle with what my new role is as a mother of a 16 year old boy.

    Reply
  121. Shawnna

    A little bit of medication and a WHOLE LOT of Jesus is how I keep my freak outs under control. Also reminding myself to slow down…..they’re kids, they don’t ‘get’ the whole rush-rush-rush….

    Reply
  122. Kari

    I am still working on the not freaking out part but one thing I’ve learned is to walk away, pray and then find something to praise them for. It seems to be helping but I feel like I have a long ways to go.

    Reply
  123. Elizabeth

    I am finally learning that if I get enough sleep, I am much more patient. I am a night owl and love staying up after everyone else goes to bed to get a little “me” time. So now, instead of staying up until midnight, I stay up until about 10:30. I still get a few minutes to myself and all of the undone things will still be there tomorrow. It’s okay:)

    Reply
  124. Holly

    Oh similarly to you! I distinctly heard God tell me “It’s not about you” when I was in the process of lamenting our sons grades in high school! Truly brilliant young man but the reality is he has to want those grades not me — sooooo hard to step back when the world says all it says on this subject!

    Reply
  125. Bridget

    Acknowledge my need for Jesus.

    Reply
  126. Kristy

    I am so proud of my husband, who is a high school teacher. He chooses to not let the external pressure of always and only teaching to the “standards” list of academic goals put before him each year dictate how he chooses to teach his students. The public school is a mission field and he openly shares tid bits of life lessons and helps his students see beyond the text book lesson and into the greater scope of a life well lived! Thank you Lysa for reminding us to not have tunnel vision on grades, but to have a broader view on life as a whole.

    Reply
  127. Michelle

    Totally TRYING to turn to prayer during freak outs. Not reacting sinfully and how my only human self wants to. Crazy life circumstances and situations done help, but after reading that I’m going to try even harder to stop. Pray. Pray some more. And then react. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  128. Kim

    I’m looking forward to this book and study!! I’m a stay at home mom to a 4 1/2 yr old little guy that from the way his entrance into this world began, should have been a lesson to his daddy and I about his attitude!!! I’m struggling right now with a lot of fear and anxiety about what’s best for him, and keeping him safe. Really looking forward to this!

    Reply
  129. Tammy Hines

    Can’t wait to so this bible study. I have 2 great kids but they could use some improvement. Love Zlysa and her guided wisdom.

    Reply
  130. Christie

    It is hard NOT to freak out dealing with grades. I needed this todY and plan on sharing this with others. It is all in God’s plan!!!

    Reply
  131. Tamara

    A lot of prayer!! 🙂

    Reply
  132. Polly Baker

    I was that mom who always wanted to “fix things” for my daughter. Make sure she feels safe, loved, comfortable. Then something happened that I could not fix. In October 2013, she was at her well check and my healthy, athletic, active child was being sent to our local children’s hospital to be admitted. She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. We were blind sided. We were scared. We were confused – no family history; no red flag symptoms. In the moment, we were heart broken. But shortly after we got to the hospital, we realized we needed to be thankful and grateful…there were kids there with cancer, kids who had life altering injuries, kids who were dying – in fact a 9 year old died while we were there. What I learned through this experience is that there are some things we can’t fix. What a blessing and lesson that was for all of us! It’s in those times that we just trust God. Trust that God has a purpose for trials – it always draws you closer to Him if you let them. We changed all of our “why’s?” To “what?”…what are you teaching us through this? What do you want others to see in me? This diagnosis calmed me down and lessened my “freak out moments”. Thank you Lysa for your ministry.

    Reply
  133. Lisa

    I love your blog! Today’s especially. I forwarded it to every mom I know! I consider it a blessing to be a faithful reader. Thank you for sharing your gift!!

    Reply
  134. Sheri

    I think this book will be just what the Dr ordered. I’ve been trying to pray more and remember that God loves my kids more that I do! And I guess that verse I have hanging in my wall is for them too (jerimiah 29:11). I have teens now and I am divorced. I feel like they are getting so messed up with my outbursts which are meant for their good but I know that’s not good. Not good to freak out with my kids. I’m just giving them to God more! asking for a hedge of protection.

    Reply
  135. michelle christenson

    Ha! I don’t control my freak outs. I try to guide my children in everything they do. Most recently I freaked out because my daughter’s gym told me she was a control freak. Opps…please help me let go and not try to swoop in and always save the day.

    Reply
  136. Stacy

    I read a lot to keep my freak out moments at a minimum LOL. Devotions, Bible studies, blogs, the Bible of course. I find connecting with positive role models and messages consistently sort of keeps me on the straighter path than not. But I still struggle with this so much! I’m looking forward to the study the book is written for me!!!!

    Reply
  137. Karen

    Breathing. Walking away. Coffee. 🙂

    Reply
  138. Denise Crowser

    When I feel like I’m going to freak out, I head out the door and go for a run. I find my best moments with God out running. I pray and have great conversations without interuption. When I get back, I feel much calmer to handle the situation.

    Reply
  139. Heather McDowell

    I’m pretty sure there ARE days when I’m messing up my kids, and I know for sure I don’t have what it takes to be world’s greatest mom, but I’m so thankful God doesn’t quit on me and helps me navigate this path of motherhood, learning along the way! And even through it it all…the busy, chaotic, and extraordinary, that comes with being a mom, God has showed me my journey continues in yet a different way, as my husband and I are felt called to adopt. And after 16 months going through the adoption process, we were just matched with our sweet son. And as we like to say…we do crazy, and we will be traveling as a whole family to go get him sometime in August or September!!! (and don’t tell anyone, but this won’t be are only adoption…the Lord has already placed it on our hearts to adopt again!!!) 🙂

    Reply
  140. Milinda Giddy

    Becoming a mother at 39 after trying for years…I felt like I had finally made it to the mother club…taking care of a baby was the most natural thing in the world for me. Then came preschool…Here I was one of the OLDEST FIRST TIME Moms…and some of the other mothers in my class I am sure are interns for Martha Stewart and they work for Pinterest…I lost it…So I called my mama. She told me that 1st of all she didn’t have either one of those (Martha or Pinterest) and according to me She is a great mom. She reminded me that the best way for my Joshua to learn is to spend time with him and teach him life from my heart and she said to pray. Then she said if I felt I had not done something in his life that I needed to be doing (teaching him more about the Lord) to start now. So I took a deep breath, prayed for guidance, and hugged my child. He won’t remember all those cute treats those other mothers make! Please pick me for a free book.

    Reply
  141. Tammy Meyer

    When I begin to lose my patience in any situation, sometimes I simply just have to walk away & take a moment to cool off & say a prayer for strength, mercy grace & have faith in knowing God is in control.

    Reply
  142. Becky R

    You have no idea how much I needed this. I have twin 1st grade boys and one reads lightening fast while the other really struggles. Thank you for this as I have researched all of these reading programs that we simply cannot afford. As far as my ways I try to not stress…it’s an ongoing battle BUT in the behavior department I always remind myself that my 3 little ones are just sinners like me in need of grace along WITH discipline of course! 🙂

    Reply
  143. Kym

    I love the reminder about school and grades. Kindergarten and first grade have been a struggle, but not academically!! I love my spirited son 🙂 To help with my freak out moments I have been trying to identify them before they are fully fledged here. I feel it coming and then…. I take a ‘break’!!! For example, the other day after work everyone was home and all talking at the same time, competing for attention and what they wanted for dinner, etc. I just felt really overwhelmed. I kept my mouth shut (this is key!). I went up to my room thinking a long soak in the tub would be great, but the 7 year old followed me into my room complaining about what someone had done or said. I just listened as I changed my clothes. Then, without a word, I grabbed my keys and purse and headed down to the lake for a walk! It was a win win win win!!

    Reply
  144. Beth Ann

    I agree! Trying to work out homeschooling 3 while having no husband and trying to get my own business up for $ and trying to not have my kids fail because I haven’t yet done A,B, or C-yikes!! I’ve become more honest with my children-8, 12 & 14, about who I am and how God’s working me out. When I feel the need to freak-I walk the dog. Just grab the leash and walk out the door. They know what’s happening and I always (so far) come back. hahah!!

    Reply
  145. Adoption Mama

    I soooo get freaked out at times. I have to talk to my soul with God’s Word, remembering He loves my kiddos more than I do. That He uses their issues to speak to me and grow me too.

    Reply
  146. Carla Gasser

    I am always encouraged by your honesty and authenticity. I am a fellow blogger and wrote this week too about parenting and my struggles with social media and my young daughter. You always get me to look at the big picture and for that I am grateful.
    I put a link on my blog today to this post encouraging my readers to read it and start following you….

    Reply
  147. Connie Rich, Vasquez

    Definitely breath, pray and focus. Always remind yourself that if you can not use self control over your feelings and emotions, how can you expect your child to <3 (I know, easier said then done) This coming from a Single, veteran Mom of 5 children, preaching to the choir 😉

    Reply
  148. Ashley Pittman

    As a homeschool mom of 4, I’m learning every day. I’ve learned that if I keep myself under control, my kids are more likely to stay under control (not guaranteed, but more likely). I don’t always do a good job, but am getting better. We’ve homeschooled for 2 years and I’ve learned that when my 2nd child gets frustrated with herself, it’s better to just put whatever it is that she’s upset about aside, let her jump on the trampoline or ride her bike, and come back to it later or another day. I have to remember that God made each of my children different. They are not little me’s, they are not here to make me happy,they are not mine. When I remember this, things stay in perspective, I keep my freak out moments under control, and life is better.

    Reply
  149. donna fusiara

    I am a mom of two amazing, yet very different children. Your blog today caught my attention because my kids are always saying “stop freaking out, mom!” to me, and I am desperate in trying to do just this. I loved your article as it calmed my heart and made me realize that once again, I must trust GOD and His plan completely, for he chose me to be each of my children’s mother and He knows what is best for them, and hopefully, I will learn, through struggle and sleepless nights, to stop worrying, and stop listening to others who tell me what I’m doing wrong or right, and just to simply trust Him. I would love to be in your Bible Study and receiving a book would be a great way to start in my journey back to total faith and commitment in Him. My teens are giving me a lot of anxiety, but they bring so much more joy than anything, and I want to parent them in the ways of the Lord. I am on my knees as I struggle to single-parent, at times, and I am constantly berating myself for messing up, and always searching for help, so I can believe I am the best mom I can be. Thank you and God bless you. p.s. I am an unemployed elementary school teacher, but always love learning more.

    Reply
  150. Glenda

    I try to look at my kids the way God looks at me, as a work in progress. I know that I still have a long way to go to becoming what he desires me to be and in the same way my kids are on the road to maturing and learning to be what they were designed to be.

    Reply
  151. Julie A.

    I keep my freak out moments under control by realizing in 6 months it won’t be a big deal.. And if it is a big deal me being calm will at least preserve the relationship!

    Reply
  152. Kristine

    I am the mother of 3 girls. Completely different situation! I have already experienced the babies, toddlers, pre teens, teens, first dates, driving, etc. I am now experiencing something quite differently. I go to the Lord in prayer every day without ceasing. I have 2 Miracle grandchildren, one grand daughter and one grandson. My grand daughter is 3, technically not born alive but they revived her & now she is a thriving adventurous 3 year old. My daughter’s husband is in the Military so they have never lived close to us and I’m really struggling with this. My grandson was born at 28 weeks gestation, was in the NICU for over 3 months, just recently was released to go home but home for him is 4 hours from us. I’m a very sensitive emotional woman. New to the empty nest and I find myself saddened and angry for what I feel I have lost. I find myself in prayer regularly to rely on God knowing His plans are far better than my own. However, I have let my daughters know this is not what I envisioned as a mother or Grandmother. Then I feel guilty over making them feel bad because that’s not my intent. I know in today’s society they have to do what they have to do to make a living & care for their families. I’m just extremely lost, my husband travels for work and I’m not able to drive long distances do to health issues so I have quite a bit of time to miss my daughter’s and think about how I’m missing my grandchildren growing up. For all the women who have commented on the early stages of life experiences with a child, the frustration, the tantrums, how to hold it together or not mess your children up. First and foremost, give your child to God, in Prayer. Realize those shoes on the floor that have been there for 2 weeks, the ones you’ve asked to be picked up, look at them and realize you are blessed to have those shoes there. Don’t compromise with your child or make deals, you are the parent they are the child, the worst thing you can do is try to be your child’s best friend, be afraid of your child getting mad at you as God has given you this child to raise to be a respectful, responsible, self sufficient member of society. The things we make such a big deal when they are young are really rather small in the big picture of them growing up. Set boundaries, don’t mix signals & follow through.

    Reply
  153. Mary Davidson

    Lysa, thank you so much for these words today. With our oldest starting kindergarten in he fall, this was an excellent reminder of Gods work in her life and the need for me to relax just a little. Thank you.

    Reply
  154. Paula Wolf

    No words. Just tears. Thank you.

    Reply
  155. Jessica Capps

    After attending your Unglued conference at Calvary Chapel Melbourne, I have been working on my approach to everyone especially my toddler girls as I am a stay at home mom. I am learning I have to step back and ask myself W.W.J.D.? and am I acting in His will or mine? I have learned I need time in the morning and evenings with God and have began to implement a routine where if I dont get up before the girls, the first half of nap time is my quiet time and whenever I finish I start my daily cleaning. (& If I don’t get to finish cleaning it’s okay because I’ve had quiet time I’m walking with God :)! ) it’s not a fool-proof system, but it’s making me smile more. I still feel so new in my relationship with Jesus and still have freak out moments I don’t want to teach to my girls. I would like to be able to set them up for success in life and feel that as I progress on my journey with the Lord, I want them to grow up hearing the Good News. I have begun to stop and pray thanking Jesus for his sacrifice and grace, for my blessings and lessons, asking for God to shine through me; asking Him what to do. It’s still hard for me to receive His answers so I spend a lot of time reading my Bibles and devotions and am trying to implement new behaviors instead of relying on the impulses of the flesh. I am beginning to recognize old behavior and starting to try to tweak it and the more I learn how through the Word and through amazing authors and pastors and people, the easier it is to be the gracious servant hearted woman God wants me to be. And when I can’t seem to find the words or even the willingness to walk with the Lord I ask him for help and thank him. I turn on some worship music, and clean, or paint, and I always end up singing along.

    Reply
  156. Crystal Scott

    Thank You Lysa! Oh my freak out moments happen a lot. I have 3 stepsons and 3 daughters and when we were raising the boys with a brand new baby. It was hard to keep the freak out moments under control. But as baby #2 then baby #3 came, I realized I officially had no patience. But God has given me that, I now homeschool our 3 daughters. Prayer and taking deep breaths help me keep those moments under control. There a few that escape me, but I’m human.

    Reply
  157. Keri T

    Remembering GOD’S purpose for my children helps me keep perspective. And as a teacher it helps me keep perspective for my students as well. But yet I still struggle with wanting my daughters to be perfect. Looking forward to this study!

    Reply
  158. Michelle

    Lysa- What a wonderful post to read today. It spoke to my mom heart and truly put into perspective where my focus should be for my kids. Knowing that God has a plan for each of us and that the road my not be perfect. I know that God is working in each of my boy’s life and I need to relax and trust in the Lord- and pray about it. I have printed your post today and put it on my cork board to be a reminder. Thank you!

    Reply
  159. Betsy

    we’ve had a lot of freak out moments in this house; can’t wait to read this book! we’re learning, slowly, to let go of the immense pressure of “right” grades and testing scores.

    Reply
  160. Jacoba

    This was great to read – my four boys are quite different, and their recent report cards reflect that! I can so easily get caught up in what I think they should be accomplishing – it’s good to be reminded that what the world regards as an accomplishment is not necessarily what God regards as such. There is so much pressure to have your kids doing all sorts of things – one of the first questions we are always asked is, “So what sports (plural) are your boys in?” We deliberately keep their activities quite limited, believing it is not necessary to stuff their schedules full and to play every sport out there. They need time to be kids and to spend time with family. Anyways, I am really looking forward to doing a Bible study in the summer!

    Reply
  161. Shannon

    Walking through the experience of having a pregnant 16 year old the Lord has taught me that the relationship with my children is far more important than me being “right”. It is all about a relationship…with HIM and them. Open communication is what is important, praying for them and trusting the Lord and not letting my head explode is the goal! ha

    Reply
  162. Rita

    I am guilty of freak-out moments. At those times, I try to remind myself of God’s plans & promises! Sometimes I have to talk with Him or go to His Word! He is always faithful to me but He’s still working on me.

    Reply
  163. Megan Hayes

    I am awful about keeping my freak out moments under control. That’s why I should do this bible study. I could use more tools.

    Reply
  164. Vanessa

    Love your ministry! Parenting 4 children so far ( 2 homegrown and 2 foster) has taught me to let God control each thought and desire I have for their future. When fears and doubt control me, I only mess up the plan God has. I am learning that struggles and inconveniences dont mean we are on the wrong path! Really looking forward to your bible study!

    Reply
  165. Dani

    I feel like I have been living in a never-ending “freak out” for about 6 weeks now, due to circumstances surrounding one of our 3 teenagers. It’s slowly subsiding, thanks to biblical counsel, family insight, commiserating with friends, and LOTS of prayer. When it gets really bad, I can usually only cry our my son’s name and Jesus’ name. And…He gets it. My Heavenly Father picks me up and gets me back on my feet to face the world.
    I have absolute faith that God isn’t going to let my husband and I mess our four kids up TOO badly, but lately I find myself worrying first about making a choice that will determine the course of their life, THEN praying about it, and then worrying some more. I am working hard on just giving it to God FIRST, then being still to listen.
    I often say that this Mommy gig is hard work…can’t imagine doing with without God!

    Reply
  166. Jennifer

    I’m guilty of freaking out from time to time. LOL I’m teaching my 15yr old to drive! Honestly it has been a pretty good experience. It gives us an opportunity to spend A LOT of time together. I have to control my freak-out for both of our safety because my freak-outs would cause her to freak-out. I pray LOL a lot!

    Reply
    • Elizabeth

      I still remember the things my Dad taught me when I learned to drive 51 years ago.
      “Don’t overdrive your headlights.” “Just because the light turned, don’t go until you’re sure it’s clear.” “Check your tires before you get into the car.” One accident I was in taught me not to trust other people’s turn signals–the person turning left always has to yield. (The car opposite me at the stoplight had their left turn signal on; since I was turning left, I ran into him when he went straight instead.) I find that I still have to pay very close attention to the cars opposite me at stoplights or even coming out of parking lots even if not directly across from me. It also helps to check mirrors, etc. before pulling out so I can have “full time and attention” to driving which is the law.
      Blessings,
      Elizabeth

      Reply
  167. Celeste

    I struggled being a working mom. I have many difficult mornings going to work because I want to be there when my kids wake up and throughout the day. Although my husband works second shift where he can keep our kids during the morning and my kids only spends 3 hrs at my sister in law’s house til I get home, I still struggle on the fact that I’m the mom and I should be home taking care of my own kids! I freak out when a thought comes to me about my kids gets sick and goes to the ER, or just anything bad and I’m not there at the moment it happens. During these freak out moments, God is teaching me to trust Him. When something REALLY bad happens, it’s not me who can protect my kids or can keep them safe, Only God can do that.

    Reply
  168. Tracy

    I have to say I have had far to many freak out moments! I have, however, gotten better over time at pausing and praying and remembering to soft words turn away wrath, and to be slow to speak so that I am not speaking through reaction but rather through wisdom.

    Reply
  169. Alaina

    Looking forward to this study!

    Reply
  170. Randi

    I read your Unglued devotional to square me up with God’s word and your insight to keep me on track during the days.

    Reply
  171. Amber livermore

    I am soo guilty of freak out moments- but to tame them I try to take a deep breath and then talk things through with my hubby. I’m always honest with what’s going on in my head…

    Reply
  172. Tamara Blatny

    God & The Word has really helped me chill out! I have to conscience about my tone, my words & my emotions …they all have to stay in check! My prayer is- Lord, I need You!

    Reply
  173. Bethany Boring

    I want to read this book so bad!!!!

    Ok – as a mom of 3 boys ages 1, 3 and 6…keeping my “happy” in check has been a challenge. After reading (ok…listened to the audiobook…never quiet or still enough to read!) I realized how much I stuff…EVERYTHING!! I had no release until I let loose on the wrong person.

    So…

    I made a mandatory running time with God…daily. Even if that means listening to music while running in place in the kitchen while the kids watch a movie…it’s my time to be real with Him. I NEED that time to get my under-belly in-check.

    I also have my go-to passages – on my phone…when and wherever I need them. I add to these verses when another Truth pierces my heart. It reminds me who I am in Him. It restores my value and my hope.

    Lastly – I’m learning to give everything back to God. “Even if this is the worst thing to happen to me today, it’s still a very good day” (I have the magnet on my fridge!).

    Reply
  174. Jennifer

    I keep my freak out moments down by taking time to walk away. Pray. Drink a glass of ice tea. Phone a friend. Or read a book. I do freak out though…and when I overreact I apologize to my kids and ask them for forgiveness.

    Reply
  175. Jenna O

    I handle many of freak out moments by telling myself God sees around corners that I cannot and those qualities that are hardest to parent are also the ones that will serve them well as adults in the real world.

    Reply
  176. Loree Sheffield

    I am huge worrier about my kids’ grades and so needed to read this. My relationship with my son who will be a senior had really struggled the last few years because I push and plead a lot. I am however very patient and I try to sit and really think about things before I freak out in front of my son. I would love to read your book and share in your wisdom!

    Reply
  177. Nicole

    Right now my freak out moments threaten to take over on a regular basis as my husband cheated without remorse and left our home 2 months ago. Jesus Calling helps me not freak out every morning when I remember again that our life is falling apart, and chatting with my mom or sister each night keeps the freak outs at bay at night, when a mother’s mind races. God’s peace has been truly peace that passes understanding. Looking forward to this study for sure!

    Reply
  178. Breanna A.

    I stop whatever I’m doing every chance I get when my 2 year takes my hand and says “Mama, let’s go play!” My ‘grown-up world’ may be chaotic and feel like it’s falling apart, but in his world, all he needs is Mama to sit in the floor and play with him for a while.

    Reply
  179. Deb

    I have 3 grown children. For years I have shared with them the fact that when I am that often God is looking out for my good when I am for any number of reasons not seeing clearly. He provides and I am wise when I try not to get in His way.

    Reply
  180. Leslie

    Well, in all honesty, I’m still a work in progress when it comes to freaking out. I have 4 children and have been raising them as a single mom for about 10+ years now. The feeling of making my children conform to the worlds expectations have almost consumed me at times. I’m so grateful for books like yours that can use Gods Word to remind me that my children don’t have to reflect the expectations of the world and that a relationship with the Almighty should be the main goal! Looking forward to this study and I’m hoping its the beginning of a journey that will lead to the mending of broken fences caused by freak out moments!

    Reply
  181. Linda

    I try to keep my freaked out moments undercontrol by praying and memorizing scripture Jeremiah 29 11 that he will help me through it.

    Reply
  182. Ginger Garrett

    I love the post AND all these comments. I freak out, too, but being surrounded by wise and kind friends (and a calm husband) has been a lifesaver for me.

    Reply
  183. shannon

    Lysa, thank you! This post really spoke to me. I think all moms face the prospect of their kids being ‘sized up’ by others, and the worry if my kids fit in or are ‘normal.’ I have a 5 year old boy who sustained a stroke at birth. It’s quite common, but also unknown, so he is a guinea pig for research. No idea what caused it, and what problems he will have down the road. So far, thanks to the grace of God, he is doing well. I am a stay at home mum, so my son has never been to pre-school (except weekly 2 hour Bible study class). This September, he heads to kindergarten and is SO ready and excited! He can barely write his name neatly on a small line, he cannot read, and he’s a little unsteady with a crayon. But, he is so gentle with other kids, thinks God is a pretty amazing “Super God” and always makes a rose garden for his Mama in any Minecraft world he is in online (it’s a video game where you build worlds). He is sweet, and smart in non-traditional ways, and I thank God every night that I get to be his Mama. Whatever path God carries him on, I will be happy because he is here and well and growing and learning at HIS speed.

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  184. Nadine

    Sadly I don’t keep my freak out moments under control much. My 8 year old has had difficulty at school and it brought out my insecurities. I too felt pressure for her to succeed so she would be successful in life. Slowly God has been working on my heart attitudes. I’ve gone from pressuring her to succeed to exhorting her to do her best. I’m in the process of learning to trust Him with their futures. He prepared me to receive the news two weeks ago that she has a learning disability. Your blog post today has reminded me that He has her in His hand. I’d love to read your book as I think it would be a great encouragement.

    Reply
  185. Lara

    With a 14 year old daughter, a 12 year old daughter and 11 year old son we are entering a new phase. The worldly pressures and attitudes are hard to keep out of our home. Grades aren’t a big issue for me however for my son who has dyslexia, it’s emotionally draining for him as he feels dumb and this impacts on him and us as he gets angry easily and at times depressed.

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  186. Dawn herring

    Oh my! God just used your post today about not freaking out to minister so much to me! I had just had a loooong text from a family member basically tearing me apart for the way our 6 children aren’t educated because we homeschooled and when put in public school, some didnt make the best of grades. Some did, but the ones that didnt trumped all others. I won’t go into any further details. Just know this blog: article was so used by God today when I needed it the most!!!! God is so good!

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  187. Cecile

    I keep from freaking out because God showed and taught me how to be patient. My two kids are gifts from God and I don’t want to hurt or crush their tender feelings. No one likes to be yelled at , I know I didn’t when I was a kid , it crushed me. And I don’t want my kids to feel that worthless feeling you get when someone freaks out on you! God is good and worthy of praise !

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  188. Carly

    The best antidote to being frustrated over unmet expectations is to remind myself how blessed I am to be a Mommy and to know that everything, even the hardest days of mothering, ate what my heart longed for my whole life. It is such a privilege to be a Mother! God has also been reminding me lately that even as a Mother I am still a child. His. And I have to keep being teachable even though I am “the boss” sometimes to my own 🙂

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  189. Carly

    Correction: *ARE what my heart longed for 🙂 Not “ate my heart! Lol.

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  190. Tracy Calzaretta

    As a mother of 3 girlz and working full time I often struggle with finding balance.

    Reply
  191. Karen C.

    Unfortunately, after 5 children, 4 grown now, it frustrates and discourages me to know that I still do not really have complete control over “freak-outs”. I continue to stay in prayer constantly and try to realize that there is definitely a plan for all of them. My 5th child is our adopted daughter who has been more “challenging” than her 4 older siblings. Wow! did I need this article today. Thanks so much.

    Reply
  192. Kelsey

    For me it’s really hard when they are babies to keep them under control but one way that I do is to use calming essential oils :)!

    Reply
  193. Melissa Scott

    I am a grandma who adopted both of my autistic grandchildren and ya wanna talk freak out yea that would be this house. My son is 6 and wow so articulate and smart and my daughter is going to be 5 in a week she is more non verbal and uses a lot of gestures to get what she needs. I am embarking on a move to a new school district as I’m just not getting anywhere with this school district but anyway def feel like I am freaking out over them and doing what is best for them and I never even heard of autism before and with God’s help we are getting through this!

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  194. Tammy

    I try to remind myself that God doesn’t freak out on me when I am “messing up” and that no matter what He forgives me and I should treat my children the same way.

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  195. Nicole E.

    I don’t really do well keeping my freak out moments under control, especially lately, but I am trying and praying that God will lead me and our kids down the right path.

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  196. Nancy Silvers

    My daughter is grown and I sure wish I had this book back then, maybe I wouldn’t have messed up so much! I want to read this book and do the Proverbs 31 Bible Study because God has put lots of children and young mother’s in my path and I think it will help me be the best “Nana Nancy” to them! 🙂

    Reply
  197. Susan U

    I’m not good at not freaking out but I am just beginning to recognise that fear plays a big part in this. This fear can lead to trying to control situations and people and control is not love. And if God really is my Father and theirs (and He is ) then He’s got each situation covered as I trust Him with it. …
    I can also trust Him to give me what I need when I do need to input into a situation; either by prayer or boundaries, actions or words, with His wisdom and grace. How much I need Him!

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  198. Elena

    I’m still trying to figure out how not to freak out! Not about school, their just getting started, but everything else. My son is relatively easy, my daughter, not so much. She is my test and I continuously fail. She tries me to my limits! Love that little girl, but I need to figure out his t not freak out when it comes to her!

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  199. Holli

    I don’t know that I keep my freak outs quiet or out of sight. My oldest is entering her senior year of high school and shows no drive to do anything with her life. I’m scared for her and because of that, I feel I am always at her to do something…anything. Your fb post got my attention. I often say I have failed God and I don’t know why He chose me to be their mom.

    Reply
  200. Carolyn Rivera

    When I read your devotion today it was so on time because I was just talking about this with my Husband. What’s more important to me is my guys relationship with Christ! I would always pray, Lord whatever it takes for surrender in there lives, sometimes it takes more than you think you can handle! But God has been so faithful through it All. Sometimes when I’m freaking out I loose it, then I have to humble myself and apologize and talk it over with my kids. There are some good days when I’m listening to what The Lord is directing me to do when I’m slow to speak and quick to listen and it’s up to me to be obedient to what The Lord is telling me to do. I think everyday is a lesson learned, whether you fail or you do it right. God’s Mercies are new every morning!

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  201. Noreen

    I choose my battles wisely and try to keep calm instead of freaking out.

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  202. Jasmine

    Prayer and trying to sneak away quiet times for myself with The Lord. Also taking regular date nights with my husband. That is something i REALLY need

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  203. Stacey Brandenberger

    Everyday is an opportunity to freak out or trust God with two young teenagers. Most of the time, I freak out first and then remember the peace that is waiting for me. God’s beautiful mercy and forgiveness! It is always waiting for me and therefore it is easy to show my children that same kind of mercy and forgiveness. How do people parent without it? My prayer is to remember it more quickly and to show it more completely!

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  204. Gloria Odens

    After raising 4 children all who have made professions of faith as children, I am asking myself “how have I failed”. Two of them are not living for the Lord. Neither of them are attending church. One has actually started getting involved in worldly activities. This breaks her Pastor Dad’s and my hearts. We plead with God to convict her yet we see few signs of change. We are thankful that she stays in touch. What do you suggest?

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  205. Shannon Pastore

    Thank you for the reminder that God has it all under control!! Tears.flowing. Thanks! 🙂

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  206. tracy

    Honestly, I’m still trying to find out what will keep me from freaking out! A quick prayer, a deep breath, talking quietly…they help…sometimes!

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  207. Erica

    I say a few words to God asking for patience…I make myself slow down, remember my relationship with my child is more important and remember how terrible I have felt after I have have “lost it” in the past! I am getting better at it 😉

    Reply
  208. Gaye Lynn Stone

    I am still trying to figure out how to not freak out! I have an only child so I am learning as I go. He is so much like me, but also half of my husband, so I have to remember that. This article is so me! I worry about him loving school and excelling like I did, but his dad didn’t so that is hard for me. Thank you for this!

    Reply
  209. Megan

    I’ve been trying to repeat the fruits of the spirit but this post has given me some wonderful ideas. Thank you!

    Reply
  210. Tiffany R.

    I would love to be able to write about this wonderfully spiritual way that I keep from freaking out but sadly that is not the case. I tend to “freak out” about everything. I’m working right now on silencing my “moments”. Maybe then it will be easier to stop them from happening.

    Reply
  211. Tara J

    I just finished reading “Unglued” and have started receiving counseling to deal with some “underbelly” issues…so these are my first steps of imperfect progress toward not freaking out

    Reply
  212. Kelli

    “Slowly, I realized God has a plan for each of my kids. As long as I am depending on the Lord to guide me as a parent, nothing I do or don’t do will mess up my kid’s future.” EXCELLENT! God has me read this post just for this line! Living overseas so often I convince myself that things I”m “doing” or “not doing” to/for my kids will “mess them up” in some way…

    Reply
  213. Cheri

    So very true

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  214. Beth

    I teeter totter between freaking out and not freaking out. I have two teenagers and at times am at a loss of what to say and how to say it. Keeping my cool and remaining calm is something I am working hard at trying to do on a consistent basis. Hopefully I will have it mastered before I’m a grandmother 10-15 years from now. I appreciate your ministry, Lysa!!

    Reply
  215. Marcia

    When watching my 5 yr old granddaughter, she often has meltdowns or “tantrums”. I walk away, often into another room;
    I pray our loud “Jesus help me. Help (name) to (clean up her toys.) She”ll stop to listen what I am saying and calms down. This helps me to remain calm and not scream, too.

    Reply
  216. Jasmine

    My freak outs are kept in check because of the past. My son was in a near drowning accident last summer at the age of 2 and I just think about how far he has come. The accident left him with a brain injury and severe disabilities but there was a time when I thought we were going to have to make the decision to take him off of life support and say goodbye for ever. Now he smiles and laughs and is doing better.

    Reply
  217. Laura T.

    Some days are better than others. Freaking out has become an unfortunate habit. One that needs to be broken, for me. I try to take a deep breathe and ask myself if this situation (grades, spilled drink, broken dish, etc.) is more important than my relationship with my child and if it will matter in eternity. I also remind myself that I am not perfect, so how can I really expect it from my own children.

    Reply
  218. Angela

    I needed to hear this so much!! My husband and I are raising my 15 yr old nephew. We could never have children. He has lived with us for 4 yrs now. Truly the love of my heart. He struggles in school subjects, mainly Math. Anyway. Had do I keep from freaking out about anything? Well.. I just freak out and then calm down. Ha! Idk. Sometimes I go somewhere to be alone. Thank you Jesus for your comfort!

    Reply
  219. Laurel Andrews

    Lysa your books always seem to be so timely and relatable to my life. As a mother of five with them fairly spread apart it can become difficult because you are dealing with all stages of child development at once and on some days it is overwhelming and tiring. Cannot wait to read your latest book!! Thanks so much for your ministry 🙂

    Reply
  220. Jessie Tuno

    We are currently struggling with our 2 teenage boys. It brought me to tears reading this article. I scream, I yell, I argue, I threaten, I bribe, anything I can think of to try to get these boys to do better at school! Every day feels like a losing battle. Meetings with teachers, guidance counselors, school psychologists, everyone asking ME what they can do to motivate them, asking ME what to do about their grades! They are respectful and the classes they like, they do well in, but how do you get them to understand that gym, art, and lunch aren’t the only classes they have to try in! It makes ME feel like the failure! Especially when I see and hear all about “so proud of my son/daughter for honor roll” “first prize on the science fair project!” And all the other achievements of my friends kids. I know God has a plan for them, I know God has great things for them, but does it mean I just let it go and hope for the best? How do you motivate someone who nothing seems to motivate? How do you just celebrate the little achievements and look past all the disappointments? How do I trust…?

    Reply
  221. Kendie Jacobs

    I keep a journal of how God has time and again delivered us from a seemingly dead end situation, including a life threatening illness. God is Good All the Time and He will provide the path always. It’s our purpose to keep in tune with Him and He will direct us. I see other parents stress and push their kids, to the point of bordering cheating by doing their work for them. Those are life lessons…and that’s a problem on many levels. When they get me worked up I review our family journal, say a prayer if thanksgiving, hug my kids and walk in faith!

    Reply
  222. Eboney C

    I definitely have pressured my daughter to do better in school- poor thing! I’ve prayed to God that she wouldn’t get her dad’s ADHD genes. And as a teacher working at the same school she goes to, I felt,” if she doesn’t excel, my coworkers will think I’m not working with her at home.” So I pushed her a little more. All the while, she’s still my short attention spanned little 3rd grade gymnast. Only recently, after seeing how some 3rd grade teachers treat my student with special needs, did I get upset with them. Then a quiet voice said, ” Eboney, you’re doing this to your own kid. Don’t treat your students better than you treat your God- given daughter/ student.” God is still working out the kinks with my own expectations an I have the privilege of continuous reminders that as long as I follow after God and his righteousness, everything else will fall into place and work out for our good.

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  223. Donna

    Lysa, thank you for the encouragement. I homeschool all four of our children. It is a near daily distraction to wonder if I am doing all I can to set them up for success. More time on my knees and less time in curriculum catalogs is the key. I needed this reminder. I also use Col. 3:23 with them. When they are struggling or not cooperating I just read it aloud to them and walk away letting the Word of God do the correcting.

    Reply
  224. Darnell

    Lysa, years ago I had the joy of working for you and Proverbs 31. I so love your messages and your love for Jesus. Your honesty is refreshing. Sadly my precious son who has and continues to be the joy of my life, now grown and married states he no longer believes. To me there is not greater sorrow. Growing up his faith and joy was amazing and full of life. He was a missionary for a time of his life. Not fully sure what happened except to say what one reads can cause doubt to come up against the truth. I still pray and believe God’s truth will win for His truth NEVER fails. God bless this ministry and each of the women and their families who are part of it.

    Reply
  225. Maria

    I have 4 children 15-7yrs, work full time and my husband has 2 jobs full time and part time, so my freak out moments come frequently. How I try to stop them from boiling over is remebering that my children are my mirror. I ask myself how would it look/feel for my 7yr old to have the same emotions. Before I blurt out my frustrations I try to remember how words do hurt especially when they come from your parents. Of course freak outs still happen and after all settles down I make sure to talk through what happened with the kids involved so we can all try to learn from it, how we can do better.

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  226. Tamara

    I’ve learned how to keep my freakout moments under control by getting up every morning at 5AM and spending time with Heavenly Father. By spending time with him in prayer and reading his word, The Power of Praying Wife, Parent, and Woman Book, and The Secret Power of Speaking God’s word. I just started reading The Purpose Driven Wife Book. Using these Power Tools as my resource has helped me when I want to freak out the most. These tools are reminding me how much Power and Authority we have as Children of the Most High God. These resources are teaching-reminding me how much Power there is in Prayer! These resources are Helping me to freakout less and Speak the Word of God which he said won’t return to him Void. These resources have reminded me that God has given me so much grace, love, favor, compassion, and FORGIVENESS that I want to share those same qualities with my husband, and son. I haven’t always been this way and I still struggle, but God Grace and mercy help me bring back to perspective. How has JESUS responded to me when I make the wrong choices?

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  227. rachel

    Thank you for sharing,
    As a single mom working hard to make it financially and hoping and praying I am investing enough in my children, I appreciate your words of wisdom.

    Reply
  228. Olivia

    Great words. I’ve been praying for a while for a specific mission statement as a mother. I found one line in here that I’m taking up as that mission. Thanks for your ministry!

    Reply
  229. Jen

    one way that I try to keep from freaking out is by reminding myself continually that I was once my children’s ages. But, the largest to reminder is that God is always in control regardless of what I could ever say or do.

    Reply
  230. Cassandra

    Can’t wait to start the Bible study! After reading unglued I am in a much better place as far as handling the freak out moment. Many times I step away, pray and then come back much more calm to handle the situation. Other times I try to remind myself that they are so tough and this will pass so quickly!

    Reply
  231. Julie Urban

    I listen for Gods words of inspiration….tell what to do God…change me

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  232. Veronica

    I keep myself from freaking out by asking myself first “did I do this when I was a kid?” And if I did well I turned out ok! And if I didn’t? Then will it matter in a year?” Most of the time I panic out of fear or because I make things about me instead of keeping the focus on my child.

    Reply
  233. Lyn

    I am not mom and past child bearing age; but I so love reading your books and posts. Though this subject matter is not really about the times in my life at this age; I value your teaching and God uses the truths in your writings to speak to areas in my life. And then to pass on what I learn to younger women God places in my day.
    Blessings to your ministry!

    Reply
  234. Anita

    I wish I could tell you how I keep it all together, but I can’t. Mostly a lot of prayer, I guess- and a lot of mistakes, hopefully I learn from them and do better the next time! And sometimes apologizing for the freak out moments!

    Reply
  235. Sally

    I’m not sure that I DO keep my freak-out moments under control! (That’s why I’m reading Unglued!) I guess a trip to the fridge comes naturally. (That’s why I read Made to Crave!) I pray. I call my mum. I try to worship and I recall His promises. He’s never failed me yet xxx

    Reply
  236. Theresa Haskins

    To be honest, I’m ashamed to say how long it’s taken ME to control my freaking out. And to be TOTALLY HONEST, I still DON’T (and can’t)! However, when I retreat to my “Prayer Porch” He changes everything! I am still trying to learn when to “do” and when to “walk away” and be with Him.
    I would LOVE to win these books! I have so many friends I would LOVE to give a copy too!!!!! (My daughter in law too!)

    Reply
  237. Trisha

    To be really honest I have stepped back as I realized I can’t push my daughter with school. As you have also said I can only guide her. She struggles. .. and I just guide. I pray. .pray… pray. Only God can help me help her. I realized my pushing actually would push her away. So praying helps me not freak out.

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  238. Paula J

    YES! I am THAT mama… I’m trying so hard not to let the world determine how smart my son is – he just finished 5th grade & is still struggling with reading. We’ve come a long way: and we’ll keep going as long as it takes.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  239. Jessica

    Pray, sometimes get impatient with God and his response, freak out, apologize, then pray again and wait.

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  240. Alisa

    As I read your story above I am surprised at how similar your family is to mine. Our oldest struggled to read and then our second child excels, our third child (named Hope) is what I jokingly refer to as our “normal child” does well in school but not to the heights of her older sibling. She is also the one I nicknamed “my little princess”, because she was born with so much attitude. She is a teenager and I asked her the other day if her head was really heavy because she knows so much more than me. Our last child is the one I worry so much about, she struggles but it doesn’t seem to bother her most of the time. She is naïve and sweet and such a lovely person, but I worry not so much about her grades as people taking advantage of her. My older children tell me that I have and am doing a great job at teaching them the things that are important, faith, kindness, forgiveness, and grace. All I know is I pray every day for His guidance and support.

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  241. Michelle

    I have to walk away from my 5 year old who is so independent (because I made her that way) then I say to myself…you are getting upset because you have made her that way! I have learned to put myself in “Jesus time out” ( I say “Jesus” out loud at least 50 times before I decide what to do-calling out to him calms me) before I say something out of anger or is just down right hurtful because she is not wanting to behave in a way that I believe she should-can I say “mind of her own” (because I made her that way). Another trait I taught her is to remember everything~ well she does and I do mean everything…she even remembered I have one of your books as she just pointed it out to me while sitting here type this! I am happy to say she is my prayer warrior, has a huge heart for God and is a mother hen to people that are hurting or sick. But one thing as a single mom I have done is let her get away with treating me disrespectfully. Most of the time she knows when she does it, immediately says she sorry and ask me to forgive her but guess what…two minutes later she does “it” again or says something even worse. This has given me a very good insight oh how we treat our heavenly father…I promise I will never do it again father..guess what…we end up doing it again! But always there he is their with unconditional love because we are his children and they are his too…my question is AM I REALLY MESSING UP MY KID? Hence, I need this book but first and foremost I need prayer and probably tons more ” JESUS time outs”!

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  242. Amie

    I pray for patience and control all the time. 🙂

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  243. Kate Milliken

    I try not to freak out when my kids come to me with a confession. Like when my son told me he lost recess at school for a5 days in a row. I thanked him for telling me a nd discussed what he could do differently (and let the teachers consequence be enough) I want him to come and tell me things that I haven’t witnessed and I want him to trust me not to get mad at him. Now when I see one of “my kids doing something incredibly insane like the 2 year old drinking maple syrup I still freak! Or when he finds bird droppings on t he g round and calls thshem gum! And attempts to eat it, yeah, I freak.

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  244. Annette d

    I wish I knew how to not have freak out moments! With God’s grace, they are fewer but still happen. Had one on vacation last week.. 🙁

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  245. Katrina

    I pray audibly and take deep breaths!

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  246. Kendra

    Unfortunately, I don’t. ..still working on it!

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  247. Kimberly

    I don’t much more than I do… but when I do, it’s because I can stop and see myself in their position. The lie I just said, the corners I cut on the job I just did…. I’m a sinner just like my children!

    Reply
  248. Pip

    Not very successfully even after 5 kids!!! I do try to take a deep breath and think but it’s not always easy – thankfully God is on my side 🙂

    Reply
  249. Lori

    As a mom of 8, I have had more than my share of “training” sessions where God has been working on me through my children. He never seems to be finished sanctifying though…this blog post was so like me. Mine are not old enough to bear a lot of fruit yet and I still often wonder if I am doing this job as a mom right.

    Reply
  250. Leigh F

    Well, I am still working on not freaking out. I haven’t mastered that one yet.

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  251. Sara M

    I definitely am a work in progress with this….and have a long way to go. I guess I forget that I am not doing it on my own…that God is in charge. That’s my biggest mommy problem…trying yo be in control.

    Reply
  252. Kiji McDaniel

    Controlling my freak out moments…..hmmmmmmmmm. not so sure that I do. I try VERY HARD to remember each of my children’s personalities and the way one reacts will be different than another. I guess my biggest thing is trying to focus on the situation at hand, with the child at hand.

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  253. Brenda

    I have 2 teenagers and wish to always be reminded to raise my children according to God’s will, not the world or my will. Would love to read more on how to stay in this path because it sure isn’t easy.

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  254. Lindsey Burris

    Oh, Lysa, I LOVE this blog!! I have two little boys; Tripp who is 5 and Parker who is 3. I already stress that I’m ruining my children’s future because I don’t spend enough time reviewing letters and numbers and trying to teach them to read on their own. Both sweet boys are intelligent boys, and I know that God has a plan for their future and their lives, but it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the competition that seems to be happening. The comparing of notes about what my kid can do that your’s can’t or how early my child started doing this, that, and the other that your child doesn’t do yet. I know that most of the time that isn’t the intent of proud parents bragging on their precious children. However inside of my head the overwhelming guilt of what I don’t do or can’t do or haven’t done is what I hear. That I’m already behind, slowing my kids down, and making life harder for them. What a great reminder to keep things in perspective. Ultimately as a parent my job is to direct those boys to Christ, and if they find Christ and walk in His will He will equip them and mold them into precisely what He wants them to be. The freedom we have in Christ Jesus is so refreshing and offers so much relief from the pressure and the stress that we heap on ourselves without need! Thank you, Lysa for striving to remind us of that daily!

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  255. Angela

    How do I keep them under control? Deep breath, prayer and perspective. Wish I could say I always do, but I’m definitely a work in progress!

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  256. Erin

    I needed to read this today. God’s timing is everything. I am so consumed with concerned about the delays my sweet 2 1/2 year old preemie is experiencing and so much of the time I feel like i am doing everything wrong. This was a great reminder that God had got her and us. Thanks for this.

    Reply
  257. Kristie Elrod

    I don’t know if I am great at keeping my freak out moments under control, bit I’m working on it every day. I am now seriously considering signing up for the online bible study!!

    Reply
  258. Jamie E

    Oh Lysa! Your authentic words on this blog hit home with me. I do worry that I am messing up my kids. I would love to get better at controlling my freak out moments!

    Reply
  259. Mary-Margaret

    Prayer, and trying to remember to pray instead of freaking out.

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  260. Debbie

    I just shared with a friend this morning how I have done my best to raise my kids in a way that points then toward a strong relationship with the Lord but ultimately I have to realize it’s up to Him to build that relationship not me. Tough to swallow.

    Reply
  261. Mary Beth Bowers

    Thanks so much for this, Lysa. How refreshing to be assured that we need to measure our children’s successes by God’s standards rather than the standards of the world we live in.

    Reply
  262. Cathy Curtis

    Plan and prepare as much as possible the night before!

    Reply
  263. Julie R

    This really spoke to my heart and felt like its God’s timing that I saw this today. I’ve been struggling with desicisions regarding my child’s school and what I want the most for her. I really felt your word was God using you to not only speak to my heart but a lot of other mothers as well. It helped me to have more peace and not “freak out” God is in control of our children’s lives and we need to have faith in that. Thank You!

    Reply
  264. Pam Anderson

    I take a time out for myself and pray. Then go and enter back into life with my family.

    Reply
  265. Sharon D

    This is so wonderful! I have been struggling with “freak-out” moments, but my mom has been reminding me to focus on what I’m thankful for in my children. And, to always find time during the day to just enjoy them and play with them. That really helps me remember just how precious they are!

    Reply
  266. jill

    I take 10 deep breaths, and ask for the Holy spirit to guide my tongue, and fill me with wisdom. I used to jump in impulsive like, learned to really trust that God h as a plan. After many crisis moments for God to stick it in my head to “just breathe, God can handle this”, I have learned and am trying to show my kids. Not coming from a Christian home , I never learned to trust God until I was an adult.

    Reply
  267. Ali

    This is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you.

    Reply
  268. Dora Robles

    I am a first grade teacher, aswell as a parent of three. I have to constantly reassure parents that each child learns differently and its ok to not be on the honor roll at this age. Parents need to stop comparing their child to others, and not feel like a bad parent when things go wrong. I look forward to reading your book, not just for myself but so that I can help others aswell. Thank you Lysa!

    Reply
    • Dora Robles

      Oops…forgot to answer the question. To limit my freak out moments I ask myself is this really worth the struggle. Usually its not and we discuss it so it hopefully won’t happen again. My children are 19, 10, and 7…so yes…age makes a huge difference!

      Reply
  269. W Davis

    To limit my freak out moments, I try to plan ahead for what I need to do and then I pray a lot. When I do freak out, I just admit that I was wrong to my kids and ask for their forgiveness and God’s. And then we talk about it. We talk a lot, a lot, a lot.

    Reply
  270. Renee

    Well Lysa, I honestly don’t think I have mastered the the secret of not freaking out. I pray to stay calm when my 14 daughter pushes my buttons and most of the times, I do, however
    after hours of complaining and whining there are those days I eventually get worn down. So, I feel like I will never master this skill, but am praying I can, one day. I just want to believe that it can happen to me and God can heal my impatience!

    Reply
  271. Becky Bennett

    I’ve been so guilty of trying to perfect my kids for my own pride’s benefit. God is so beautifully teaching me to let go of my grip on a future that I can’t see, and to trust Him that He has made my children incredible individuals for His purposes. They weren’t made to fit any mold but His, and I want to be able to teach that to these amazing little ones, as I try to learn it for myself.

    Reply
  272. Michelle

    My son has been hospitalized twice and 18 months ago, I was cleaning cuts he gave himself. Now, he knows who he is in Christian and while he had many cuts, he has only one scar. His scar is a blessing. It reminds me of what is important, where we’ve been and how God can redeem, restore and repair. No grade in school or other measure of the world is worth freaking out and draining my kids of hope.

    Reply
  273. Heather

    I don’t know if it is too late, but I would love a copy of your book! I have already signed up for the book study! Thank you for opening your life and heart to us!

    Reply
  274. Tanya

    Pray. Pray. Pray. And still, often my sinful selfish heart gets the best of me.

    Reply
  275. Jennifer

    I am able to not freak out about some things-like what my wear (my only “rule” is clean & weather appropriate ). I realize its not something that will matter even days from now. However, I have major trouble not freaking out over bad behavior….

    Reply
  276. kim

    I have come to realize,.after far too long, that His is on control and I give it al to himl

    Reply
  277. Melody Byrum

    I wish I could keep myself under control. My daughter is 10 and I still tend to lose it on grades. I don’t mean to, but I still do. And my son is only 2 and he’s so much of a handful. I hope I’m not messing up my kids, especially my daughter.

    Reply
  278. April V

    The only thing I can do to keep from going crazy sometimes is just to get alone with God and ask for his help.. I am almost immediately calmed.

    Reply
  279. Kim

    I take a deep breathe (or 2) and attempt to remember what really matters…showing Gods love.

    Reply
  280. Molly Higle

    I remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient for me. It’s hard for me to find a happy medium. You see my oldest son is an addict and so my experience with him has in many ways tainted how I raise my three other boys. I try to allow them to have their own experiences without the fear of them making the same mistakes their brother has made. But it still trickles over from time to time.
    I still feel as thought I haven’t invested enough time teaching my boys the things of the kingdom. I have spent many mintues, hours, days, months, years preoccupied by my oldest son that in many ways my younger boys have been robbed of the Godly mother they deserved. Such is the way of addiction and it’s affects on those around it.
    Now, I have to find a way to fill my boys as much as possible before they venture out into this dark world and follow the path that the Lord has for them.
    Please pray for me to find the time, words, and wisdom to sharpen the arrows of my quiver before they flying out to hit their mark, whatever that may be.
    Thank you so much for this ministry and your beautiful service.

    Reply
  281. Kim Tabladillo

    As a homeschooling mom at times I feel the pressure academically as well as socially and spiritually for my kids. My husband has been a great anchor to help me leave their successes and direction to him. Some days, weeks, or months i need to be reminded more than others 🙂

    Reply
    • Kim Tabladillo

      In my earlier comment it was supposed to read my husband encourages me to leave their successes to Him ( the Lord)

      Reply
  282. Jen

    going to get a dresser to work into my bedroom! 🙂

    Reply
  283. Lori

    I think for me the room I’d start with is our extra bedroom, which we’re not intending to use as a bedroom at all, but as an office, workout room, and guest room combined. I just haven’t been able to pull it all together yet in a multi-functional way. It’s still languishing as a storage room. 🙂 I’m looking for some inspiration to tackle it and make it beautiful. Thank you for doing the posts this week from The Nester.” Inspirational!

    Reply
  284. Laura

    God’s timing. Builiding a house and want to do the living area, make it homey, honor God and use the creativity HE gave me. Thanks for your wisdom. Love the book….got mine at the library so still have room in my bookcase…..

    Reply
  285. Deanna

    God gave me a way out from frustration with my almost 2 yr old daughter when she arches her back and protests being buckled into her carseat. He showed me that if I let her fuss with the straps for a minute while I buckle her older brother in his seat or set something in the front seat or put the stroller in the trunk and THEN come back, it all goes much better. She just wants a little control over anything…like when she’s buckled. She also wants to help. When I set aside my agenda or schedule, it all goes so much better. Thankful for God’s leading and eager to see more of his wisdom each day make me a better woman, wife and mom.

    Reply
  286. Amanda

    Lots and lots of prayer! Also reminding myself that these little children are souls that I am accountable for. He has created me and my children, He knows us, and promises to always be with us. He provides the strength and wisdom for all situations.

    Reply
  287. Charise

    I go to my room, shut the door and try to give myself a few minutes to cool down and thing about the situation before I overreact.

    Reply
  288. Amy

    By opening my heart to God and letting Him come in and deal with all of those broken areas that are the root of my “freak out” moments. He gently removes those roots of rejection and bitterness and heals my heart so that fear and anger no longer have any hold on me. Then I can trust and lean on Him for all of the fruits His Spirit manifests in me!

    Reply
  289. Melissa

    I ask/pray this question almost every day…every time I lose my temper. “Am I messing up my sweet child? Is he going to be forever scarred by my anger?” I pray through the scriptures I learned studying Unglued. I have come a long way, but I seem to slip to easily back into old habits. I need all the encouragement I can get!

    Reply
  290. Jody Scheiber

    Lysa, LOVE reading along with you each and everyday! I share your thoughts with my daughter daily. Your thoughts hit home! I wish I would have had you when I was raising my kids:) She and her husband now have two special little girls to raise and keeping your everyday thoughts in their thoughts and minds, I believe will help guide them on the right path. Along with Prayer, Prayer and more Prayer:) I know she has the thoughts…”Am I Messing up My Kids?” So I want her to know she is doing the right thing….and all she needs to do is let “God” guide her! THANKS for all you do!

    Reply
  291. Amy

    I try to remember times in the past where I did freak out, and then God took care of whatever it was I was freaking out over, and it all turned out better than I ever expected. This has happened SO many times in my life, yet the majority of the time my first impulse is to freak out. It’s so frustrating! But God is slowly changing me and shaping me to trust Him more & more each day. I am so thankful for His mercy & grace & patience with me. I hope you are still giving away the books, I would love to have a copy and do the study! Thanks!

    Reply
  292. Krista

    When i feel a freak out moment coming on, if i catch it in time I just have to stop and pray. Pray for the Holy Spirit to fill me and speak through me because I know i can’t do it alone.

    Reply
  293. KLynch

    I freak out on my kids most when I’m frustrated, angry and overwhelmed. I try to control that by taking a split second to take a deep breath and remember “a fool gives full vent to his anger”. But I freak out more often than I’d like to admit.

    Reply
  294. Lorena

    I pray for guidance and grace

    Reply
  295. Alice

    I love how with God my successes a parent isn’t measured by how much money I have to spend on my children. I thank you for your encouraging posts. My life isn’t perfect, and my family doesn’t have much, but we have everything God intends for us to have. That is plenty for us. God is awesome!

    Reply
  296. Fredrickson

    Please pray for my relationship with my husband’s foster daughter Ashly-Dawn. She will be getting married soon and told my husband that he will be a grandpa at Christmas. She doesn’t like to hear truth from anyone, especially me, and hasn’t spoken to me for four years now. She has chosen to not be a part of our four children’s lives, and I’m sure she would be happy if I dropped off the face of the earth. I am happy without the drama in my life, but she keeps coming back, trying to have a relationship with my husband, and it’s difficult. Mako.

    Reply
  297. Tonya Mitchell

    Thank you for this blog!! I just found it today and needed this particular one at this exact moment.
    I have 7 children(we are blended but they are all mine) and a awesome husband!! Anyways I love being a mom and a wife and honestly thats what ive always wanted to be. I grew up in disfunction and there’s still things in my parents home and around their home I do not want my kids exposed to. My mom is a christian and I love her but because we have always had boundaries and do not agree with what she tolerates . My kids
    do not go unsupervised. She continuously tells me when I try to share info about something good theyve done. “They may step on your toes now but when they are grown they’ll step on your heart” I always feel like shes sitting around waiting and expecting them to mess up and mess up big!! I know we learn from our mistakes (ive had my share) but is it unbiblical of me to pray and believe they can grow up to be Godly men and women and never had the “big mistakes” experience?

    Reply
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