All relationships can be difficult at times, but they should not be destructive to our well-being. Learn the difference between a destructive pattern and a difficult season with this free resource, “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May Be Missing in Your Relationships.”

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When God’s Assignments Feel Almost Impossible

June 17, 2014

I pulled into my driveway and stared at this gathering place my people call “home.” And my heart whispered …

Lord, am I doing all of this right?

This life You’ve entrusted to me, these people You’ve entrusted to me, this calling You’ve entrusted to me … I desperately want to get it right. To live without painful regret gnawing deep within. To know that I gave it my very best. To please You. Love them. Smile more than I frown. Laugh more than I complain. See the beauty tucked within all these sacred moments of just being together and remember to whisper, Thank You.

Thank You for all of it. The whole package deal of good and bad and highs and lows. For all that mixed together sets about a process of making me. The me that needs the tough stuff to mature me. The sad moments to soften me. The thrilling moments to invigorate me. The poignant moments to endear me. The complicated moments to challenge me. The quiet moments to unrush me.

I need it all.

But sometimes, in the midst of all the moments that are making me into the woman You created me to be, I get awfully tired and discouraged.

And I find myself sitting in my driveway wondering. Staring at the culmination of thousands of decisions I’ve made that have brought me here. To this home. This family. This life. I made my decisions and then my decisions made me.

I’m thankful, yes. So very thankful. But I need You to whisper reassurance into my heart that You’re with me. That You see me. And that You are pleased with me. I just need to know, Lord, am I doing this right?

Have you ever had one of those driveway discussions with God?

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, like I do, if you’re on the right track?

I think most of us girls think these thoughts. That’s why 20 years ago, I helped start a place where we could gather and learn God’s perspective on how to do life through the pages of His Word. Proverbs 31 Ministries exists because I desperately needed someone to help me connect life with God’s truth. And I still do.

So, every day my team and I gather to think through and pray over every aspect of our ministry – our free daily devotions, online Bible studies, radio shows, social media encouragement, and more. We’re a rag-tag team of passionate, imperfect girls determined to bring God’s Word front and center into your world. My deepest prayer is that as we encourage you, we’re helping equip you to take that encouragement into your family and your sphere of influence.

I think about you every time I put my fingers on the keyboard of my computer and tap, tap, tap tangled thoughts that eventually become words from my soul to yours here on my blog and through Proverbs 31 Ministries. I see you standing in your corner of the world. Mentally I draw a circle around you representing all the people you reach and influence each day.

Then I step back and imagine hundreds of thousands of circles of influence representing more than one million women who engage with us on a daily basis. And I’m amazed how collectively our circles of influence cover almost the whole world.

You, me and all the others who gather here are making a worldwide impact.

Jesus instructed us to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation,” (Mark 16:15). That seems an impossible task for someone who sits in her driveway and feels fragile and wonders all the things I sometimes wonder. Can you relate?

But, I can reach my sphere of influence with God’s Word woven in and out of my simple sentences typed into simple devotions and blog posts. And I can pray that somehow God’s Word becomes a filter for your thoughts as you get these pieces of encouragement each day. And then when you pass it along to friends or talk about it in your everyday conversations … it’s multiplied by almost a million.

Together we are going into all the world with the good news! Amazing, what we can do together.

Changing the world is only a click away.

As we head into the summer months, we know donations tend to decrease and yet this is the time of year when our growth initiatives increase. In fact, this month we are on our knees asking God to raise $75,000 to help with the leaner summer months. If you’ve been impacted by Proverbs 31 Ministries or want to support the life-changing work taking place here, I want to invite you to join us. Here are three steps you can take today:

1. Support Proverbs 31 Ministries through your prayers and financial gifts. While our devotions, online Bible studies, and other resources are free to you and me, they aren’t free to the ministry. Every gift we receive today will be celebrated by our staff ringing a “blessing bell” in our office and thanking God for you by name. Click here to make a donation today.

We are praying for 50 new monthly partners to commit to giving $31/month to support new initiatives of expanding the reach of our daily devotions. Click here to become a monthly giving partner.

2. Sign up for the free Proverbs 31 Ministries Encouragement for Today devotions and send this link to a friend so she can sign up too!

3. Give a friend the Proverbs 31 Ministries NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women. All proceeds go back into the ministry, and it’s on sale today for only $24.99! Click here to purchase a Bible.

Thank you! And, if you find yourself wondering about life as you sit in your driveway, let me be a friend who whispers deep into your heart, “Keep going. You’re doing better than you think you are. Now, let’s go change the world together.”

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36 Comments
  1. t

    I’ve made my decisions, and my decisions have made me. Those words you wrote resonate with me. because I’m unhappy with some decisions, they didn’t work out they way they were suppose to and I’m fighting up stream trying to rescue my family. I’ve laid low for 9 years waiting on God to make a move, to open a door. I told myself this morning to remain still. brave. to be patient and watch for His hand and not force my own. I fail often, but i’ll try again and wait. thank you for sharing and giving my heart a place to land.

    Reply
    • Nico Smith

      I ♥ to be a source of encouragement to any-one who may need it. I know that there are those who may need to be uplifted whenever they may have had a difficult time in their li…fe. We all have those challenging times every now and then, right?
      “I pulled into my driveway and stared at this gathering place my people call “home.” And my heart
      whispered …
      Lord, am I doing all of this right?
      This life You’ve entrusted to me, these people You’ve entrusted to me, this calling You’ve entrusted to me … I desperately want to get it right. To live without painful regret gnawing deep within. To know that I gave it my very best. To please You. Love them. Smile more than I frown. Laugh more than I complain. See the beauty tucked within all these sacred moments of just being together and remember to whisper, Thank You.
      Thank You for all of it. The whole package deal of good and bad and highs and lows. For all that mixed to-gether sets about a process of making me. The me that needs the tough stuff to mature me. The sad mo-ments to soften me. The thrilling moments to invigorate me. The poignant moments to endear me. The complicated moments to challenge me. The quiet moments to unrush me.
      I need it all.
      But sometimes, in the midst of all the moments that are making me into the woman You created me to be, I get awfully tired and discouraged.
      And I find myself sitting in my driveway wondering. Staring at the culmination of thousands of decisions I’ve made that have brought me here. To this home. This family. This life. I made my decisions and then my decisions made me.
      I’m thankful, yes. So very thankful. But I need You to whisper reassurance into my heart that You’re with me. That You see me. And that You are pleased with me. I just need to know, Lord, am I doing this right?
      Have you ever had one of those driveway discussions with God?
      Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, like I do, if you’re on the right track?
      I think most of us girls think these thoughts. That’s why 20 years ago, I helped start a place where we could gather and learn God’s perspective on how to do life through the pages of His Word. Proverbs 31 Ministries exists because I desperately needed someone to help me connect life with God’s truth. And I still do.
      So, every day my team and I gather to think through and pray over every aspect of our ministry – our free daily devotions, online Bible studies, radio shows, social media encouragement, and more. We’re a
      rag-tag team of passionate, imperfect girls determined to bring God’s Word front and center into your world. My deepest prayer is that as we encourage you, we’re helping equip you to take that
      encouragement into your family and your sphere of influence.
      I think about you every time I put my fingers on the keyboard of my computer and tap, tap, tap tangled thoughts that eventually become words from my soul to yours here on my blog and through Proverbs 31 Ministries. I see you standing in your corner of the world. Mentally I draw a circle around you representing all the people you reach and influence each day.
      Then I step back and imagine hundreds of thousands of circles of influence representing more than one million women who engage with us on a daily basis. And I’m amazed how collectively our circles of
      influence cover almost the whole world.
      You, me and all the others who gather here are making a worldwide impact.
      Jesus instructed us to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation,” (Mark 16:15). That seems an impossible task for someone who sits in her driveway and feels fragile and wonders all the things I sometimes wonder. Can you relate?
      But, I can reach my sphere of influence with God’s Word woven in and out of my simple sentences typed into simple devotions and blog posts. And I can pray that somehow God’s Word becomes a filter for your thoughts as you get these pieces of encouragement each day. And then when you pass it along to friends or talk about it in your everyday conversations … it’s multiplied by almost a million.
      Together we are going into all the world with the good news! Amazing, what we can do together.

      Thank you! And, if you find yourself wondering about life as you sit in your driveway, let me be a friend who whispers deep into your heart, “Keep going. You’re doing better than you think you are. Now, let’s go change the world together.”~Lysa TerKeurst

      Wow! How so incredibly powerful this is! There may be many people going through the very same things we are. Being able to en-courage others is exactly what God is wanting us to do. We are supposed to share His good news with everyone we encounter throughout our daily lives.
      See More

      Reply
  2. Chris Carter

    Your driveway conversation spoke straight to my heart Lysa. I have been in a rut of discouragement. Are all my efforts worth it? Am I truly living out God’s Plan for my life? Is THIS where He wants me? Writing and reading tirelessly- sacrificing so much of my time- is it really going to have any worth- any greater purpose? Feeling the burden take hold- instead of lift me where He wants me to be. I’m simply not good enough. That’s really how I feel. And I can sweet talk myself all I want- “Oh God is using you! God can use anyone’s gifts according to His Purpose!” At what cost?

    I feel defeated. Hate that feeling.

    Sometimes, exhaustion has this damaging influence on my psyche and my faith. And often… the dip in the questioning and lure of giving up, is Satan’s easiest target to attack, in order to keep me/us from continuing our purpose- His Purpose.

    God’s got this. I know. I just don’t ‘feel’ it right now…

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      I can hear your discouragement Chris… Please know I am praying for several friends today and I’m including you on my list. Those hard feelings can seem so consuming. Asking God to give you sweet glimpses of confirmation and encouragement.

      Reply
      • Chris Carter

        I wanted to come back to tell you how much it means to me that you – BIG and AMAZING and OH-SO-BUSY you- took the time to reply to my discouragement and pray for me, Lysa.

        For little ol’ me…

        I don’t have words big enough, that would express how grateful I am for that. You are such an incredible blessing to so many…

        Thank you for having such a beautiful and giving heart. For seeing and hearing us little people, and loving us right where we are.

        The weight of discouragement has lifted! Thank God!! 🙂

        Reply
  3. Christine

    I really want to be a monthly giving partner. I moved to NC in 2005 and found Proverbs 31 shortly after. I can’t begin to tell of the many situations where God has used this ministry to encourage me. Recently we have had a “speed-bump” in our finances. My husband has an injury from an accident he had when he was 13 years old, that re-occurs every so often. This time it has caused him to be out of work for two weeks. We have had to start relying on money that we had saved for emergencies. I’m praying that God would give me more faith to make this monthly pledge but I want to thank you for the ministry of Proverbs 31.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Sweet Christine… I’m praying for your husband and your family right now. Your desire to be a monthly partner touches my heart so deeply… God knows your desire my friend. Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!

      Reply
  4. TJ

    Life and especially family life can sometimes feel brutal. My little family of myself, my husband and my two teenage boys are all going through such a hard season and it often feels like I am living on a battlefield. Emotionally bruised and battered I am sometimes desperate to hear his whispers of reassurance to me but find it hard to sense Gods presence. I wonder like you Lysa, am I doing this right? Thank you for this devotional today as it reassures us all that we are not alone in the fight, but held and strengthened until the hard seasons are over.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      You are not alone… so many of us need reassurance. Be blessed Tj.

      Reply
  5. J

    Thankyou Lysa for your many words of encouragement. I’m not so much sat on my driveway as in my house most of the time, thinking some of those things you say, been ill with depression and anxiety over a year now while trying to sort out some painful childhood traumas. I have doubted that I even know who I am anymore or where God is in all that has happened, some quite unbelievable. I am on a long journey, and one in which you have encouraged me to keep going, unknowingly, many times since I have been subscribing to the Prov 31 daily encouragements. I look forward to my daily connection with others and the Lord through this. It seems when I read your comments especially I connect with your refreshing honesty, they move me closer to the Lord. I recently bought your book Unglued and that has so helped, as I have watched my life unglue in the last couple of years and have felt powerless to stop it. It seems many people cannot cope with loss and depression in others, so sadly I have lost friends, my church, my ministry, my mother and father in law have died of cancer and am in a dark place of grieving and being misunderstood and so lonely. I know Jesus felt the pain of turmoil and being alone while his friends slept nearby, that is how it has been for me, I do not understand it, but I know He understands. maybe it is necessary so I rely solely on Him who loves me unconditionally and be more empathetic to my and other’s weaknesses. I would love to be able to support your ministry more, I will pray you will see your faith rewarded. Please, if you have time, pray for me here in the UK! He is faithful.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Yes, J, I will certainly pray for you right now. My heart just breaks with all you’re going through. Being misunderstood and lonely is so hard to add on top of all the other losses you’ve experienced. I’m asking God to pour down sweet comfort to you right now.

      Reply
  6. Daphne Fletcher

    Thanks for the encouragement. We’re farming in South Africa, I know God has a plan and put us here – but I’m feeling like Gideon – needing confirmation over and over again. Iget your daily devotional. Subscribed after I came across your unglued book. We are in a very isolated area and sometimes it seems very hard to see the plan. I know God will provide for us and our staff. We must just faith it out – one day at a time. Thanks for the encouragement.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Praise God for how He connects us and weaves our lives together so we aren’t alone. I am so blessed to read how God is using our devotional to help you and your staff. Wow. Praying for you right now.

      Reply
  7. Betsy

    So many of us can relate to that prayer, “Am I doing this right, God?” I wonder almost daily if I’m messing up my kids by raising them in the Middle East as my husband and I do church planting. I wonder if I’m messing up their education by home schooling through high school when physics and trig make me shake in my boots. But God is faithful, and I choose to trust him.

    Blessings on you and all of the Proverbs 31 team. I’m praying right now that God will provide for the needs of this great ministry.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Thank you Betsy… Praying for your family and your church planting right now.

      Reply
  8. Theresa

    Dear Lysa,
    You totally had me – for the first 5 sentences or so – until I got to “I desperately want to get it right. To live without painful regret gnawing deep within.”
    As I read those words, my heart sank, along with my body, deep into my chair. The voice in my head screamed “Another parenting devotional that’s too late for you. Move on, nothing but pain for you here.” But something nudged me on, and I’m so thankful He did! Tired, discouraged, full of regret, disappointed, sorry, oh so sorry…yep those words define me every time I allow them to.
    “I failed you Lord. I didn’t do it right.”
    “You are forgiven Theresa.”
    “But, your children/my children, they are lost Lord. How could I let that happen? What did I do wrong?”
    “They are mine, and are in my hands. Give it to me my daughter. I am your hope and your refuge.”
    “I’m trying. I need your reassurance, comfort, and peace in my heart so desperately. I want to please you Father.”
    And then He leads me to your devotional today Lysa. Thank you for being a friend who consistently whispers His encouragement and love deep into my heart. I am blessed by Proverbs 31 Ministries. You and the entire P31 staff are in my prayers.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Sweet Theresa… All the prayers you invest in your kids will not be wasted. Do not be afraid or discouraged… just keep loving them right where they are at.

      Now… can you save those words and preach them back to me next time I need them?

      Sending much love to you… and thank you for your kind encouragement for me and my staff.

      Reply
  9. Hannah

    I love your devotions. My mom found you somehow and told me to start reading and I’m very glad she did. I just recently moved to the Matthews area of Charlotte and I’m looking for a church to attend. I’m 24 and it seems like everyone my age just wants to drink and go to the bars. I am trying to find some good Christian friends and a good church that I can attend regularly. If you know of any good church’s please respond and let me know or email me if you get a second. Thank you and have a blessed day.

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Hi Hannah,

      There are some really wonderful churches in the south Charlotte area. I attend Elevation and love it. I also have staff members who attend and love Carmel Baptist, Christ Covenant, and Forest Hill. Hope that helps.

      Reply
  10. Nichole Wilson

    Thank you for your down to earth, honest devotions. You are always encouraging and such an inspiration to other women. God bless you and your ministry!

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      Thank you Nichole! You encouragement is a sweet gift today.

      Reply
  11. ann mcclintock

    I have been under a lot of stress lately trying to get my boys prepared to move off to college. We adopted one of my 4 boys when he was 14. The other 3 are our bio kids. We have two 18 year olds, a 20 year old and a 23 year old. We adopted our sons grandma along with him. She has not been healthy lately and I was just informed we have 2 weeks to move her out of her apartment and in to an Adult Foster Care home. Here we “grow” again. Your post today and yesterday gave me a breath of fresh air when lately I feel I cant inhale. I think way to much, are these babies ready to leave us, have I prepared them, is the AFC sufficient for Linda etc. God is with me and has nudged me to woman like you for support I have needed each day. Thank you, thank you thank you

    Reply
    • Lysa TerKeurst

      It is our joy at Proverbs 31 to walk alongside women each day with truth and encouragement. Praying for all your transition Ann. Much love…

      Reply
  12. Tonya

    Thank you so much for your openness and sharing your heart. I have been following your ministry for many years now and love that i can get an email each morning when i wake up now. I have four kids and i strive to raise them in Gods image but i fall so short and feel like a failure most day for one I’m outnumbered! But i read your posts and stories you have shared and realize we all fall short and you remind me where to draw my strength and confidence from the word of God and daily prayer and fellowship with Him. It is not easy but i know that God has placed these dear kids in my home and will equip me to raise them in this harsh self centered world when i seek him. May God continue to bless your staff and ministry!

    Reply
  13. Sara

    Lysa,
    I’m reading your book “Becoming more then a Good Bible Study Girl”.
    I’m in Chapter 7,Thank You for writing this book. I feel like your right here with me as the friend I wish I had. My home is filled with men(boys) my husband and I have 3 little boys. There are days when I crave to have another female in the house . So when I pick up your book and start reading I feel as though I have a new close friend to talk too.
    As you described the insecurities you felt I am right with you. Unfortunately, even though I’m in my mid-30’s I still feel this way. I know God is always with me and loves me, but thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  14. Ruthann

    Thank you, Lysa for sharing your life and being so very real! It means more than you know. Blessing to you and your beautiful family!❤️

    Reply
  15. Emily

    Hi Lysa,
    I’m sorry this comment does not go along with your post, but I have been looking for a way to contact you, and it seems like this is a direct line!

    Reply
  16. Emily

    Sorry, but the rest of my message didn’t post! I am reading Made to Crave and was curious what eating plan you follow. I am currently doing Trim Healthy Mama (basically a no white diet) and it seems to be similar to some of the things you mentioned in the book. Thanks!

    Emily

    Reply
  17. Tori Burris

    I have already raised my kids know I’m raising my grandkids for the last year I’m trying to do it gods way we are tring to adopt them were they will have a Christian home and be in gods hands know a days are so different than it use to be it is so rough to raise them in gods will I would love to have that book were I can try and not mess them up it seems like out of 3 kids 2 of my own our on the wrong road all I do know is tuff love and allot of praying as one is headed to prison and the other one has had 3out of 4 taken away

    Reply
  18. Sarah Pinault

    My son starts Kindergarten in September and doesn’t read yet. I am struggling with letting go of my own earthly standards and trying to focus on raising him in Christ, to let him enter school with Christ in his heart even if the words aren’t there yet. Letting it go is hard. This sounds like a book club I’ll have to jump into.

    Reply
  19. Reesa McCullough

    So very grateful you are addressing home decor on social media! I know a few young women who will appreciate this series! I am inviting Skylar Thigpen a facebook friend and local acquaintance to view today! God Bless!

    Reply
  20. Linda Smith

    Hello, I’ve been blessed by the ministry of Proverbs 31. I have sat in front of my home, in my cube at work thinking the same thing. I am the founder and member of an organization/ministry for mothers who have lost their children to violence, having lost 3 sons. And recently on my job I was chosen as the prayer leader at our corporate office, I wonder Lord, me?? All of this? Wondering all the things you can possibly think of after reading this post I was relieved in my heart. Thank you so much for the transparency. Giving an assignment from The Lord no matter how gifted, talented, or “anointed” because of all the demands on our lives from family, ministry and work. And wanting to definitely please The Lord there are times l have to let it sink in. Praying to do it according to the plan of God. So thanks again.

    Reply
  21. Linda Smith

    Hello, I’ve been blessed by the ministry of Proverbs 31. I have sat in front of my home, in my cube at work thinking the same thing. I am the founder and member of an organization/ministry for mothers who have lost their children to violence, having lost 3 sons. And recently on my job I was chosen as the prayer leader at our corporate office, I wonder Lord, me?? All of this? Wondering all the things you can possibly think of after reading this post I was relieved in my heart. Thank you so much for the transparency. Giving an assignment from The Lord no matter how gifted, talented, or “anointed” because of all the demands on our lives from family, ministry and work. And wanting to definitely please The Lord there are times l have to let it sink in. Praying to do it according to the plan of God. So thanks again.

    Reply
  22. Soujanya

    Hi, I really love the way you encourage each one of us… You are a blessing to me personally. Many times in my life each day a lot of times I read your writings and am so touched.. I know God loves me but its so hard to remember that when you live around people who tell you over and over again that I don’t measure up. I am pleading with God for a change in my life as I feel trapped and discouraged… Your words made me think that I am doing the same thing thinking if I am doing right… If I am then why is it so hard…I was such a successful person during my college times but once I got married nothing I do seems to satisfy and for the past 15 years I am struggling and struggling and asking God if I am doing right…how can a God who feels I am precious and honorable keep me in a place where people constantly put me down… In my life your writings encourage me to go on… Thanks a lot… May God bless you to be a blessing to many….

    Reply
  23. Alice

    I tend to reflect on the decisions I’ve made in life. More often on the decisions I’ve made since becoming a mom. Good and bad paths I took that lead me to that very point in life. At those moments I’m am so glad God is there to tell me I am doing just fine. Because the guilt of making wrong decisions has kept me up at night on more than one occasion. But He is always there for me and always will be. Thank you again for your posts and the little nuggets of wisdom. These posts and the daily devotion have helped me , family and friends out so much.

    Reply
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