I really want to be a great mom. I want to raise kids who love the Lord, are respectful, and kind, and smart, and all the other things we want for our kids.
So, I pray. I read parenting books. I teach manners, kiss the skinned knees and help the teen process her first broken heart. I plan the family dinners, the date nights, and the vacations. I keep track of who needs what and when. I set the appointments and the discipline parameters and the alarm clock so we can get up and do it all again tomorrow.
And through every minute, I am hyper aware of my frailties and faults.
My heart wants to be incredibly patient and organized and excited about reading books out loud.
But then I get tired. And overextended. And suddenly my day finds me getting snappy, losing track of all those papers sent home from school, and skipping pages to hurry to the end of the book that started off with such promise.
There is a gap between my desires and my reality.
And I bet this is true for all moms.
So, I was just wondering if we might all make a little pact together today. To not judge one another. Ever. Even when we parent differently. Even when my kids act like I never taught them manners.
Might you give me the benefit of the doubt? Just assume it’s a bad moment but this isn’t an indication of all our moments.
And then I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt when your kid messes up.
Or I hear you snap in Target and make threats to your kids that betray every good intention you had that morning. When you prayed. And read the parenting books. And taught manners, kissed skinned knees, planned the dinner, and all the other zillions of things you did so well.
Instead of judging you, I will love you.
And maybe you can love me too.
Yes, I think we moms should pledge to never judge one another. We’re all desperately trying to do this mothering thing right.
A great place to seek encouragement and community as a mom is through MOPS. I’m so grateful for all of the support that they give as an organization to moms everywhere, and I can’t wait to speak at the MOPS Conference October 17-19. Will you be there, too? Find out more information by clicking here.
And MOPS is doing a fun giveaway today right here on my blog! 2 commenters will be randomly chosen to win copies of Known & Loved: 52 Devotions from the Psalms by Caryn Rivadeneira and The Artist’s Daughter by Alexandra Kuykendall.
Lysa, I just have to say that my family loves u just as much as I do. I have read several of your books and I must be talking about you just like family. The other day my 16 year old daughter asked me what I was doing and I started telling her that it was another book by Lysa. She said, “TerKeurst.” As if you were family or a friend, of course, sometimes I really think so 🙂 . I don’t get out much except for doctor appointments because of health problems. God bless you and I am looking forward to your next book.
You always speak right to my heart! Thank you!
Thanks Lisa! This is great. At the beginning I thought “wow, she has her life together…what a super mom”. It was nice to read the rest…Especially where it is suggested that err don’t judge. That is a character trait I’m working on. Thank you.
Thank you for so eloquently putting in words how we all have gaps in what we strive for as moms but fall short many times. It’s so discouraging. A great reminder that there is a whole community to lean on. We could all be more encouraging.
I loved this article. It felt like you were writing about my life. I always have the best of intentions to have everything perfectly organized and the kids clothes laid out before bed, lunches made and ready to go for the morning, dinner prepped for the next night, the house spotless before I go to bed, devotionals read to them at night…and then reality hits. I tend to get very down on myself for that, so it is nice to hear that other people are just as human as I am and suffer some of the same struggles. I was in a MOPS group last year, and now that all of my kids are in school I am attending MOMSNext for the very first time (a new division of MOPS for Moms with older kids). My first meeting will be next week and I am so very excited. I have found it definitely does help to connect with other mothers to grow in The Lord and have that time away from your regular life.
Hello Lisa, I think you really hit it right on the nail on this one. I have felt the hardest criticism from my fellow Moms. Going to Target or out in the community, it feels just as you just described. I have 5 children and one of them with Autism and going places with him is not easy! Often I hear people saying that Autism is parent’s excuse for not controlling their kids..it hurts! Moms we are all trying so darn hard..let’s just smile at each other and lend a hand when we are struggling with purse/diaper/grocery bag and a child who throws a tantrum ! Please preach this message more !
I pray we as mother’s pledge not to judges one another!
let’s try not to judge each other, but love each other…amen to that!
THANK YOU! It’s just that simple.
Thank you for speaking straight to my heart.
I pray we all can give and receive the grace we need during the not so pretty moments instead of judgement.
I love the way you put this!
Yes, encourage each other rather than judge. What a breath of fresh air…:-)
You are spot on about desperately trying to do the mothering thing right! I’m very thankful for all the encouragement I’ve gotten from MOPS. Can’t wait to hear you at MomCon!!
I have realized when a critical spirit rears its ugly head, the devil is usually tormenting me through my own insecurities. In the South, our criticism sounds like “bless your heart,” but really we should be asking God to bless ours.
I really needed this today. I feel like I get lost in the mountain o things I want to do vs what I have to do. Working mom, football mom, dance mom, educating mom, church mom oh and did I mention wife and so much more. I wonder how my mom did it all.
Yes – I definitely take that pledge – as a mom who has judged and been judged, I can definitely say that we all seek the same thing for our kids. We all do things right and do things wrong…perhaps our methods and opinions differ…but we all need the grace of God to get it right – and that’s what levels the playing field!
Love this post! I am so thankful God spoke to my heart about this long ago and continues to. Just the other day I was at the library and this Mom was carrying her screaming kid out. Instead of judging her I felt a great compassion because I have been there. And in those moments you want to vanish. I wanted to help her in some way. The Mom started to load her kids. She burst into tears as her daughter screamed even louder. I went over and offered to help her. She didn’t need anything but I prayed for her and spoke God’s truth over her life, her children and especially who she is as a Mom. Oh that I would always love in this way instead of judge. Thank you for posting!
Thanks for the great reminder. Even though my children are young adults, I still kick myself for things I did wrong when they were little. All the “what ifs” that play over and over in my head. I know God is ultimately in control and pray they will travel the path He has for them.
Thanks Lysa. I am always striving to be a better mom. Life is busy. Life is hard. We moms don’t cut ourselves a break. We don’t allow for mistakes or imperfections. I think it must be a “woman” trait to try to be superwoman. I am so thankful for the support that I get through your blog and P31 because it helps keep this momma grounded and looking to God for my strength each and every day.
Thank you for all you do!
I heard your broadcast yesterday about this and it really made me realize that I am “normal” it is nice to know I am not the only one with great intentions and then to end up just “losing” it, You are so right when you say we just need to show love and not judge! I try to teach my children (and husband) that you never know why someone is acting the way they are, you don’t know what is going on in their life. Pray for them or depending on the situation offer to help them. I look forward to your devotions every morning! It helps me to start the day on the right foot!!! Thank you !!
Your posting spoke to my heart today as it is the first day of my groups bible study gathering for the school year. I’m excited to be doing the ‘Unglued’ study! Let us remember that we join together as moms to support one another as we grown in God’s Word and develop ways to better respond in times of challenges, not to judge one another when we come ‘Unglued’.
Thank you so much for this wonderful reminder. Do not judge…great message to every including grandmothers. Let us remember raising our own children and not to judge how our daughters raise our precious grandchildren :). This is also an awesome reminder not to judge anyone…just love on them! Thank you for much for letting God use you to spread His awesome message.
I’m reading this just as I yell at my daughter to hurry because he bus just pulled up. Out she flies-teeth not brushed, she says, and shoes in hand so she’s running only in socked feet. Sigh.
Amen and Amen!!!!
I’ll totally take the pledge!
It’s so funny to read a blog post that rings so true for your life. I was just telling my husband the other night about how I would like the children’s bedtime to be- snuggles, reading stories, talking about our days and saying prayers. But instead, it is more like hurry, hurry, get in bed and me to tired to get off of the couch. Thanks for this post!! I needed it this morning!
Is it weird that I want to have children just so that I can join all my mom-friends at MOPS?! 😉
MOPS was so helpful for me in my first year of motherhood and then the last couple years I was apart of the leadership team. What a blessing it is to encourage and support other moms!
Thank you for the reminder to be each others champion, that we are all striving for the same outcome. May our eyes be open to see each other just as Jesus does.
I want to thank you, Lysa, for being courageous enough to lead with your own honest humanity and for knowing exactly how to touch hearts everywhere. You have inspired me, renewed my passion for seeking Christ, and filled me with hope. This blog hit home in so many ways, and is a message I have been trying to spread throughout my small community for years.
I’ve been reading a bible plan of Old & New Testament with a Priverbs & Psalms a day. I’ll have to say, I don’t fully understand Psalms. I would love the 52 Devotions of Psalms to help me figure it out!!
I love to read, so these books would be great!… Thank you for the reminder that we can NEVER be perfect!…. We just have to try our best and surrender to God each day!
Mothering will mess with your head and heart! I so long to “do everything right” and well, and yet there goes my humanness and my faults! Thanks for the encouragement this morning. Blessings. xo
Well said. This was me yesterday, starting out with great intentions which deteriorated as the day progressed being stuck inside/homebound all day. We are most likely to be in the same situation today (we are in Colorado and flooding had all but shut down the town, many roads closed). Great reminder to continually surrender.
Thanks so much for reminding me of this! Not only do we tend to judge others but I know I am guilty of judging myself against others.
What a good promise to make. We all judge other moms but we never know if they are having a good or bad day. This will be a challenge but a challenge I am willing to attempt- it will be Imperfect Progress, that’s for sure!!
Love this pledge! I’m going to share this with all my friends! We all try so hard, yet all walk around with “mommy guilt” so often! Thanks for all you do to encourage women!
thanks so much for this today lysa. it sooooo speaks truth about moms. its hard not to judge or feel judged but we are all in this together….one day at a time 🙂
blessings to you!
Pick me! Pick me! Standing in a canyon-sized gap over here. 😉
Hi Lysa, You said it all so humbly. We all try so hard to do it right and there are days that we just can’t do it all how we wanted to. I thank you for your encouragement and look forward to reading your blog. You have been a blessing to my life.
You never know what the person is going through or how their day got started off. Show them compassion don’t judge them show them grace and kindness.
thank you,,, this was perfect to read today
No judgement here…we all need the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Thank you for reminding us all of this!
For women in general, right? This post goes right along with confirming Jill Savage’s book, No More Perfect Moms. We cannot hear this enough!
Thanks for the great blog post!
Yes thanks for reminding us to help each other. Sometimes it feels like a competition. Us moms can do wonderful things and with The Lord’s mercy, women can come closer.
AMEN!!! Thank you for a lovely sentiment and prayer to share.
Thanks for this reminder that none of us are perfect and we need to strive to encourage each other and not tear down, even in our thoughts.
Oh Lisa, I have felt every bit of what you wrote, but I’m definitely gonna try and pledge to do the same :0)
I Pledge Not to Judge! Love this! I read another post like this recently too and it rings so true. It’s frustrating to spend 60 wonderful minutes in the morning with the Lord, fired up to have a wonderful day – then turn right around and yell at my kids. Ahhhhh!! It’s not easy being a mom! Let’s love and support one another!
And MOPS is a great group! One of the paths the Lord used to bring me back to him!!
And again, while reading your post I wonder how come you know me so well??? What gets me all the time is the mornings; I am a morning person and I get up early enough that by the time my daughter wakes up I have my reading/FB/coffee combo all done. So I am ready to tackle the day and put myself in a great mood, the day is full of promising things… And then the bear wakes up. Grumpy. Slow. Arguing for the color of the band in her hair. About the weather. About EVERYTHING. And I snap. Either at home, or in the car or right when I drop her off at school… And apologize by txt mid-way through work… Yup. “Unglued” is my current reading. But man, change is NOT happening fast enough 🙁 I think I will just use duct tape for a while in the mornings… That will give God some extra time to guide my words 🙂
Love you Lysa <3
I’ll be there, too! I can’t wait to hear you speak at MOMcon! And I love this post – exactly what moms need – love and encouragement from other moms.
I am in tears after reading this.. Just had a rough morning with rushing my oldest girls off to school. The not listening and making messes and being rushed made me snappy and upset. Then I always have the talk with them about listening and following routines and not fighing, so we can have a smooth, good morning next time and that is easer in everyone. I pray that I can be patient and loving and try to not get so frustrated but also make them respectful and loving towards me and their siblings. Praying no more jusgement to myself or other moms. We all desperately want to be the best Mom we can and do it all for Gods glory!!
Lysa: I felt as though you were speaking directly to me, as I did when I read your book “What Happens When Women say Yes to God.” I love how you can convey the feeling of all moms. We really all do want to “get it right.” It is hard, and I have found myself judging others at times, which breaks my heart. I will take this pledge, and I too, will try to uplift my sisters and pray for them, as we all try to get through “mothering” the best way we can…one day at a time! I’m going to check out MOPS, as I’ve not heard of them. I would like to be considered for the giveaway. Thanks again and God Bless! 🙂
Thank you Lysa, your words are always an inspiration to me!
Oh Lysa!!! Thank you so much for this…❤
I will see you at MOMCON!
I love this pledge – we moms are in this thing together and should act that way.
Your words were filled with assurance and love, thank you,
Wonderful! We all need this desperately!
Oh we moms need love and far less judgement for sure. We really are so hard on ourselves anyway, then to add the judgement of others on top of it… Whew. Love the post, as always!
MOPS is such a wonderful ministry. I made some great friends through MOPS when we first moved to our new town. Your writing is so encouraging!
Being a mom is so tough, no matter what their age. I have twin boys who are now 20, and with that comes a whole new set of challenges. Praying that you’ve taught them to turn to God and that their decisions have consciences that we can’t always fix. I’ve always said I’m not your typical mom but I’ve always tried hard not to judge other moms who aren’t like me! Great word of encouragement and a good reminder that we as women need to love each other and not judge each other, we do enough “self judgment” as it is! Love your blog!
Years ago I was involved in organizing a MOPS group at our church. What a blessing it was to myself and many mothers who struggled with the challenges of having little ones at home! I personally think that we are way too hard on ourselves when it comes to parenting and what we accomplish or not, in each day!
Yes, being a mom is a tough job; the hardest job I have ever had. Even now with adult children the job isn’t getting easier………….just lots more praying!!
I know you are on Pinterest, but still can’t find where the “pin it” button is for each post!
Well I Shared on FB and tweeted!!! I love this. I love you and all you stand for Lysa-
God picked a “good one” when He picked you. 🙂
I needed this today…With our first 3 months old, I know it only gets harder from here!
Needed this little reminder today. Although we do try to do everything right, parenting is the toughest job I have ever had. Of course we all get driven to our breaking point and snap, but I too catch myself getting upset when I hear other parents snap. I will pledge to never judge another for their parenting style, as I know that my style is nowhere near perfect. Thank you!
Thank you Lysa!! I needed to hear this this morning
Thank you Lysa for your ministry and your honesty. I just started the ‘Unglued’ bible study and it is amazing. I love being a mom of four, but usually get overwhelmed before we even get out of the door in the morning. All moms need to love and support one another – we can do this without Jesus and friends!
I think this is an awesome pledge! I know that I feel like the worst mom ever at some point every day, and knowing that other moms struggle just like me makes all the difference!
OOps – I meant to say “we can NOT do this without Jesus and friends” 🙂
Oh, how I lived this raising my daughter. And how I remember the judgment from others, even other moms at my church. But you know, she turned out OK, actually more than OK, a young woman who will complete college this year, is respectful to all, loves the Lord and serving others, and thinks her mom and dad are all right. My doing? No, God’s. But i did what I could, confessed to Him when I screwed up, apologized to her when I was wrong, and made sure that every night I kissed her, told her I loved her, and if it had been one of those days, that tomorrow would be better. And I now make it a point when I see a mom at her wit’s end or snapping or yelling, especially at church, to go over, give her a hug, and tell her what a great job she’s doing. Because I remember.
I love my MOPS group! There is nothing like having a group of women supporting one another as we travel this journey of motherhood together. I will see you in KC! Can’t wait!!
Love it! Just what I needed to start my day. I will confess I am quick to judge a parent in the moment and not think about all the good things they’ve probably been instilling in their children. I can remember back to all the things I said I would do with my children (before I had any) as a parent looking/judging someone elses parenting styles and looking back I can see where I’ve fallen short. But it’s ok, each day grace is given and I can start fresh. Thank you for the tears this morning. God Bless.
I love this and am going to share it with our MOPS group here on FB. I am a mentor mom for MOPS and love this group. I wish I’d had a group like this when I was a young mom. Your words are so true. Days started with the best of intentions can quickly turn sour and then at the end of the day we beat ourselves up. We don’t need others adding to our self inflicted guilt.
God bless you as you bless others at the MOPS convention.
This was written just for me today! I am having a hard time balancing life and parenthood. Thank you!
Thank you! It’s a prayer everyday that our mornings will go smooth and blessed so that my kids have a awesome fullfilled day with love, joy and peace covered with the hands of Jesus!!!
I choose to “Fill the gap with trust”!. Love one another as we would want them to love us!
Wow, this is incredible. Everyone has there moments in parenting.. This is definitely something every mom should consider… love one another and offer encouragement, hope, and prayer.
How true! I’m in with this pact! I’ll be doing so much better too, if I could not judge myself, show myself some love also, when those moments happen.
I’ll take the pledge with you, Lysa!! My daughter is long past the age where I would attend MOPS, but I would still absolutely love to win and read the books!
Thank you sooo much for this challenge to not judge! We have a code at our Church that says, No Trash Talk. This goes right along with that, No Judging! Our lips were created to praise!!!!! It’s not always easy to not judge others, but the benefits of doing so are supreme!!!!!! Loving your blog!!!
Thank you, Lysa. Your words are honest and encouraging and humbling.
Amen! Its been a tough ride with oldest son.People have judged our family because of his choices but praise God we are celebrating 1 yr sober and he is reaching out to others by starting NA meetings in our community! God is good! He has taken the bad and is using it to bring others out of the pit.one proud and humble mother:)
MOPS was an absolute lifeline for me when or boys were small. I still miss the fellowship and support! How blessed they will all be to hear you speak!
This is such a great reminder. I try really hard to make sure that my kids never judge, but don’t hold myself to those same expectations. I promise to try harder!
I was in a MOPS group with my daughter – it was wonderful! And your post today was a great reminder to give grace to others as well as ourselves.
Thank you so much! I needed this reminder this morning!
Exactly what moms everywhere need!
Thanks so much for this. It was so refreshing to see I am not the only one. I was praying concerning this same thing this week. Mostly praying that my inconsistencies did not damage my kids. I struggle in this area alot. I’m learning to trust the Lord with what I can’t change and follow His guidance more. Thanks again, I love reading your materials 🙂
Thanks Lysa. This pledge should go to every person we meet. We never know what they might be going through and we have an opportunity to be a bright spot in their day.
Thank you I so needed that today! So me every word! I wont b at October Conference! But I will be at the Hershey Conference to hear you speak so excited to here your encouraging words! Also, i am reading unglugged! Wonderful book so I bought a copy for a friend who said God sent me to her that week for sure! God is good all the time!
I sometimes forget that I’m not the only one who needs grace and understanding…thank you for the reminder!
Love! Thank you ; ) cannot wait to hear you speak at WOF
Great insight! As a new mom not only do I feel the pressure of trying to be the best mom ever but I feel the pressure to also appear like the best mom ever to those other moms who watch me! I have felt the ‘look’ from other moms when my little one is upset which sends me spiralling into a million thoughts! Praying that I will not be one of those moms who judge others but instead build others up!
I’ve snapped a couple of times at my kids this week. I know in my heart they’re both great kids, but in those tense times I let my mouth get the better of me. All I can do is pray that they grow in love in spite of my shortcomings through the grace of God.
Lysa- I am currently reading Unglued. This book has opened my eyes so much and I am only half way through! I enjoy reading your Facebook posts and this one reached me again today. Reminds me that I am not alone and puts in perspective that we all are in this together! Thank you!
I’m taking the pledge to not judge other moms but also not to do God’s job in judging myself. I find it harder not to judge myself or feel guilty then in judging other mothers. The thoughts constantly go around in my head that I’m a failure as a mom when that in itself is so far from the truth. I think we all feel every day we are failures as a mom. It’s a tough job but God gives his toughest jobs to His toughest Soldiers. God is the best example of what we should be as parents. He is perfecting His Son’s Image in me and that has to shine down to my children.
Oh, you describe me to a T with this post, Lysa. Thank you for the encouragement to be kind to myself and to others as we engage on this wondrous, exhausting journey of parenthood!
Yes, agreed. I love Mops! I’d love to make the conference, but we’ll see.
Love! Thank you ; ) cannot wait to hear you speak at WOF!
It seems like everyone is stretched to the seems ! Moms and dads juggling sports practice, dance. Reaching out to friends extended family . I have to shoot a quick text or e-mail saying , “i love you even though i can not hang out with you.” There is so much and I can’t handle it all. God forgive me for making a standard that others have to keep that I can’t . I pledge to love the other moms and even dads in my life and give them the grace that I would want then to bestow on me.
Thank you so much for sharing your God-giving talents with ladies/mom’s everywhere. We just started Unglued in our women’s bible study and it and this email are perfect for me. I am so hard on myself when I fall and am working on that but more so I know I am silently (and maybe sometimes not silently) hard on other moms.
I pledge to not judge other, especially moms. we are all God’s children. it is so easy to just brush off others and be judgmental, to stick your nose up at misbehaved kiddos, made snarky comments…..it seems so much more difficult to not judge, to reach out to help, and say something loving. WHY??? that is what we intend to do everyday…to be Christ-like, but it doesn’t always happen. but I pledge to not judge other moms. you never know what others are going through. God Bless.
Thanks for speaking grace to us Lysa! Now let’s get out there and live some grace!
I will take the pledge…we are all doing our very best!!!!
Thank you for these words. And so true. As a single mom of a teenage girl you long that they always follow the right path but theres always bumps along the road and I have learned to see them as time of growth. but I am thankful to be surrounded by Godly women who help us along the way. God always gives strength to press forward.
This is so me. A mom who goes to bed thinking I will be such a better mom in the morning and then everyday life steps in. I need to not judge myself poorly but, try to take it as steps to overcome with Christ!
Thank you for this post! It’s easy to judge. Hard to break the chains of your parents “parenting” behavior. Hard to see all the good you do through those bad moments as a mom. It’s encouraging to know that I am not alone!!
Count me in!
I got emotional reading this 1) because I have felt the looks of judgement ( probably heightened by my own judgement of myself) and 2) I’m ashamed to admit that I too have been the judgemental one. There’s no doubt I need the grace of God every single moment of the day! 😉 <3
I always enjoy your words of encouragement. You know you are being used by God when soo many say how they have needed your words just at that moment, and this is another time. Thank you 🙂
Amen, sister! It’s so easy to judge others — and so wrong. May God’s mercy cover us all.
This is great advice! I am taking the pledge!
This is something we all need to do for each other as moms. Thank you Lysa!
Yes! I am a custodial grandmother – who has been a school mom – unstop – since 1983. Parent with much love and prayer, but expect the unexpected and give that to God. Your child will mess up and you will be sad/angry – love them anyway. You will mess up and you will be sad/angry – love yourself anyway. Find a friend or mentor to share these mess ups with – someone who will give you a hug and remember you and your children in prayer. If you see someone in Target or wherever, who is struggling, give her a smile and tell her that you will be praying that her day will get better. A little encouragement can go along way when we are feeling like the worst mother in the world.
This describes me so perfectly. I want so badly to be a “good” mom but maybe what I’m expecting if myself is to be perfect and, sometimes therefore expect my fellow moms to be perfect as well. What I need more of is the Love of Jesus flowing through me to those walking this rocky road called Motherhood along side me!
Always thankful for your post!!! Parenting. It’s not for sissies. Thankfully we are warrior princesses of the King of Kings & Lord of Lords!
Needed to hear this today! Great to know I’m not alone!
Perfect idea. I will do it!
It’s so easy to feel judged when its you that has the screaming, kicking red headed toddler thrown over one shoulder, the crying new baby in the carrier, and your five year old is wandering too far ahead if you on the way to the car after soccer practice. It’s then, with unwashed hair, wrinkled clothes, and spot up stains, that we see the “other” moms with cute outfits and behaved kids and begin to judge ourselves, too! So, on the rare occasion that IM the one that appears to have it together, I pledge to offer a helping hand or supportive smile to the “other” mom I usually am.
Pst…this really happened last week at soccer andI cried with my kids all the way home! This mom thing isn’t for wimps!
Yes! This is so true! 🙂
I wake up every morning with the best of intentions, but sometimes life just throws me a curveball and I start to come “unglued”. I will take the pledge to love other mothers no matter what I might witness from them. I know how easy it is to lose your cool with your children when it seems the weight of the world is on your shoulders at the moment. Thank you for this post today, right when I needed to hear it the most.
Wonderful words. Us moms are all in it together! Trying to do the best for our kids!
Yes, being a mom is a tough job; the hardest job I have ever had. I now have three teenagers and ugh when will it start getting easier………….I just do a lot of praying!! Still waiting on the answers. With three teenagers at least one is drama at any given time. A great day would be everyone smiling and sweet and NO drama. I know the Lord is going to give me that day. Meanwhile I’ll have to keep rereading Unglued again and again. 🙂
Lysa thank you for your encouraging words each day!
Loved reading this!!! Love MOPS too!!!
We are so quick to judge or to assume others have it all under control. We try to act together and then when someone throws a curve ball into our perfect plan we react with outrage, harsh words, and judgement. It is fun to share those moments with others, it makes us human and allows us to never forget we cannot do this on our own. We can only do it with the love from God.
Loved this! Amen Lysa! I am making the pledge… Was just thinking about this very subject… being prayerful in my heart as I wait to help take care of a little 5 year old boy who was just recently diagnosed with a metastatic liver tumor. I am preparing my work area, drug etc. so this little boy can have a petscan. The radiology assistant informs me that the little boy is on the way … and by the way … his mom is ” crazy”… She is a nut case! I looked up at the assistant and very calmly said to her.. I haven’t met her yet, but, I will tell you right now, that if my 5 year old little boy had a just been diagnosed with a metastatic tumor, I would be crazy too!!! So, yes. We moms need to give each other a break … Pray for each other… encourage and support each other…
It’s so refreshing to know I’m not the only mom who feels like a failure all to often! I pray that I can be the best mom I can possibly be, and some days I just feel like I fall short. Thanks for this post. Pinterest, Facebook, and society does not make it easy to be a mom (not that being a mom has ever been easy). Keep it up Lysa! I feel like you are always speaking to my heart!!
Oh my goodness, this is exactly what I needed to see and read this morning!! I have an 11 yr old daughter and it seems like every single morning we are fussing & fighting about something….I want to be the bestest mom that I can be, but I struggle with it every single day. I’m jealous of other mothers who seem to have it “ALL TOGETHER” all the time!! But after reading your pledge this morning, I guess all mothers go through difficult times!! It is such a blessing that you share such encouraging conversations. I look forward to reading the devotions every morning!! Thank you for what you & the entire team at Proberbs31 does to make ordinary women like me feel like they have someone in their corner that actually UNDERSTANDS what we are going through!! God bless you!!
LOVE THIS!! I was just thinking last night that you, Lysa, are probably the most inspirational woman I “know”. I have never read or listened to anything of yours and not felt like it was meant just for me. God is using you in ways beyond what you can even imagine. Thank you for being God’s hands and feet to they women of today!
Thank you for these inspiring words. I needed it.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement today! I really needed it today of all days! I home school 5 of our 6 kids and today life just wasn’t happening how I prayed it would before all the kiddos got up. Thanks for the reminder not to judge another mom who is going through a rough day too. Thank you for your resources and down to earth encouragement to us all!
Great reminder…thank you.
We’re all in this together. I will pledge this 🙂 thanks Lysa for your transparency!
I struggle everyday with frustration and anxiety. Reading things like this always helps me tremendously! Thank you.
Some days roll into one, Tiredness, frustration, worry, the list goes on! I think its important to admit that we struggle to our friends. Especially as Christians to show that we are human and we are not perfect, but God loves us anyway. As a last thought When was the last time somebody said to you, you have/ are doing a great job bringing your children up? It gives someone such a lift, especially in those hard times. Go on go and tell that struggling friend, a single mum that they are doing a great job x I am telling each one that reads this post you are doing a great job and God loves you xxx
Life is tough, parenting is tougher. I needed to take a step back yesterday re-evaluate my response to my child’s choices. Then deal with her. It’s just tough!
Thank you for your words of encouragement for all of us moms! When we try so hard and feel like we fail what encouragement to not judge and just keep asking God to help us on our daily walk with Him.
I loved this post. I love the way you worded our children’s behavior, our behavior. It’s always nice to know I’m not the only one going through it. It’s also a great reminder that other moms need our grace when things don’t go as planned and kids act out, causing us to act out.
I love this!! I will be sharing!
I just joined MOPS and I am so excited for the fellowship and encouragement from other moms. Being a mommy is such a tough job. What is important is that we never give up and keep loving the Lord and our children with all our hearts!
I have made the pledge.
Love this!! Thank you so much for the post!!
This is so me. I needed to read this today – I could use all the help and support I can get my hands on!! 🙂
Thanks, Lysa. After a morning spent feeling very “aware of my frailities and faults” as a mother, it was very uplifting to read this post and remember I am not alone in my behaviors not always meeting my intentions! Smiles to you this morning!
Nobody is perfect so why do Mommas think there has to be a Supermom? We all do the best we can with what we are given. Judge less, love more 🙂
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! It’s a great reminder that a bad moment with the kids doesn’t makeus bad mothers.
Thank You Lisa! Loved reading this! Always need reminders that I am not the only one doing everything!! I stand with you and make this pledge and pray with you!
A good reminder to love each other as Jesus loves!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My exhausted heart thanks you for these encouraging words. Again, thank you.
Oh my, did I need this today. As a mom of 5 y/o triplets, I feel so overwhelmed, at times…. most times. My mornings seem to be like a race horse coming out of the stall, running to win the race, that only ends when I collapse in bed that night. Thanks for the wonderful and much needed devotion. I have not been a member of MOPS, buti have heard of it and plan to check it out, right now. Thanks, again!
Thank you! These are words that ring true daily for me. I’m taking the pledge and sharing with all the moms I know.
Thank You!! I needed this this morning.
So thankful for my kids and for the wonderful Godly mother’s in my life who also want to be good mom’s. What a support we need to be to each other on this path!
This touches my heart as I have been judged many times on my parenting. Having suffered ante and post natal depression for years, I have struggled to be the parent I needed to be.. however I adore my children and every day I wake up aiming to be the best mother possible, regardless of what others think.
We really had no idea exactly what we were in for when we became pregnant with our first. What a ride it has been! We are pregnant with our third right now and I still learn so much about mothering each and every day! MOPS has been a huge resource and source of support. Thanks Lysa for this post!
Mornings = expectations. Evenings = fatigue and regret. This is a much needed reminder. Thank you. Me + God + Kids + prayer multiplied by a gazillion = hope.
I love Mrs. Lysa! Sounds just like she was describing me to the T. I feel so alone and bad at these times.
Thank you for such encouraging words. I’m so grateful to have found your blog and understand that I’m not the only one in this journey.
Love this, Lysa!
So many times, I have been ‘that’ mom. I swear a woman in the parking lot thought I was kidnapping my son because he was giving me such a fit about getting in his car seat. We left the store because he was having a horrible tantrum I could not take the stares. It was a 20-minute drive home and he still screamed the whole way. I was in tears by the time we got home wondering what went so wrong. The store was crowded and noisy, I was rushed, would it really have been that big of deal if he sat on the tractor?…so many ‘what ifs.’
I totally feel inadequate, as a mom, a woman, a daughter… I always feel like I am judging and being judged. Here’s to taking the pledge!
More days than not I feel I’m doing it wrong. I’ve come to believe that prayer is my best bet in raising decent God-fearing human beings. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
I Think If No One Else In The World Can Understand How Hard Mothering Is, Other Mothers Can. I Just Work My Hardest All Day Long To Remain Patient And Be The Best Mom I Can Be. And I Always Assume Every Other Mother Feels The Same Way.
You knew exactly what I needed to hear this morning!! We had an awful night last night and I felt like the worst mom EVER. Trying to get back on track today. I would appreciate your prayers. Thanks!
I loved being part of a MOPs group…such an encouraging and safe atmosphere at a time when many moms find themselves lost in the haze of motherhood. Met my best friend there. We were the most unlikely match, but 12 years later, here we are as close as sisters. I thank God for her! Saw you at WOF in Des Moines a few weeks ago, Lysa, and really enjoyed myself…it was my first event. 🙂 God Bless…
I am 36 and a first-time mom. I waited so long to be a mom, and in my head I just had this picturesque view of all the treasured moments I would get to experience. Don’t get me wrong – there are those moments; however, I have truly been exposed to the line you often hear about how being a mom is the toughest job. I have been a middle school teacher for years, and I thought that was a tough job. There are days it is, but I can honestly say it is nothing compared to being a mom! You receive training to be a teacher. I have never felt such a lack of knowledge even after reading all the books and articles I can! I know when those around me think I’m being crazy, and I even acknowledge it would be different if we were to have another child. But I can honestly say that my desperate need right now is grace, support, patience as I learn, and a little understanding. I just visited a local MOPS group for the first time this week, and what a breath of fresh air it was! I hadn’t realized til I was in a room full of women having similar experiences how much I needed that comradery! Thank you so much for this post and encouraging us moms not to judge! Bless you!
I will pledge!!
I will be more than happy to make this pact! I am in NO position to judge any other mom. My kid messes up and I mess up all the time as a mom!! Sometimes I wonder if I should even BE a mom…and I’m so TIRED of being judged by people who come at me under the guise of “love and concern.” So YES, I am SOOOO in need of this!!!
I Pledge to Love not Judge or Pity a Mama who is struggling or how she is raising her children. I Promise in your Holy Name Jesus to pray with and for the moms in my life that they receive all your blessing.ha and insight to be the godly Mama’s you intended us to be. Amen! Praise Jesus for this Awesome, Divine Ministry!!! My spirits are daily renewed by your words of hope! Much Love! XOXO
Every mom needs a mentor. Someone to walk along side for encouragement. May we all be that to someone today and everyday.
What an awesome promise!!!!
Thanks so much this morning!! I needed to read this!! One of my kids and I struggle every morning with getting ready and managing her time before school. Many hurtful things are said usually and then regreted by both. Thanks!!!
Thank you for this post this morning. I really needed to hear this. I will pledge to not judge other moms. I think we all need to lift each other up.
I will take the pledge! Just wanted to tell you that your words, wisdom, & most of all honesty, have been a blessing to many!
I loved reading this. We all need all of the help and encouragement we can get as mothering is such hard work. I would love to win the devotional too! That would be so awesome and helpful.
Lisa, your article rings so true in my home and many, many other homes! We Mothers try so hard and some days get a little long….
God bless all of us Mothers and keep pushin’ along! God’s there for us!
Being a mom is so exhausting. But it is truly a blessing. I judge my parenting skills enough that I don’t need anyone else too! Thank you for these words and I pledge to not judge other moms, for I know oh to well the difficulties they face everyday!
Lysa – thank you very much on your insight of being a mom, a human being seeking Gods face each and every moment!! I have your books and enjoy reading them over and over and over!! Unknowingly you have helped me through some pretty rough times in my recent past, and for that I say thank you!!!
May we as mothers rise and fall together and give God the Praise and Glory!!
Thank you for posting this. I get so frustrated after working all day and then trying to get dinner cooked, homework done, baths/showers taken etc. I’ve been praying for God to help me say the right thing and to not have such a sharp tongue. So hard sometimes.
As a mother of now grown children, I have been blessed by two sweet precious children. This doesn’t stop once they are grown, sisters. You can bring your children up to go to church and know the Lord, but once they are on their own, you cannot continue beating yourself up over the choices they make. One of my children now doesn’t really see the need to attend church very often but is a Christian. When they are grown, you then start replaying everything you did while rearing that child that could have caused them to come to that conclusion. Other parents may question the same thing. Pray for them, love them continually, and let go and let God handle the rest. Don’t judge the parents of grown children either. Just love them! 🙂
Oh thank you so much. Is like if you were describing me through your words. GOd is so good bringing me encourament i di much needed today specially being single mom o f three including one special very strong will child. God bless !!
I too am in tears as I read this. I have spent my whole life looking over my past judging myself and the way I raised my daughter. I used to feel like all I did when she was small was yell at her and spank her. But when I look at the old photos I don’t see a child who looks like they were yelled at and spanked constantly. I see a daughter who was laughing and smiling. A daughter that was well mannered and well behaved. I have heard many times that we are our own worst critic and that is very true. My husband says that I did not spank her and yell at her all the time and she agrees with him. So maybe I did not do as bad as I think I did. I should be patting myself on the back and you all should be doing the same. We are Moms, not super heroes. We get tired, we get angry, we get frustrated we even have some days where we do not like our children very much but we still love them and nurture them. We teach them the most important lessons of their lives. I am now helping raise my Grandson and I pray that with the Lords help he grows up to be a good hard working, dependable, upstanding , God loving person just like his Mom is. Lysa your words touched me so much, we all are too hard on ourselves and others around us. I am going to try my best not to be so judgemental of other parents. After all we all have one thing in common, we have been blessed by the Lord with the job of raising His children. What a privilege that is!!!
Thank you for the reminder that we all have the same struggles and that we are not alone. I am thankful for a God who loves us unconditionally, helps us be better Moms and forgives and loves us no matter what!!! MOPS is amazing. I was blessed to be a part of that when my son was young. If you have a young child, go find a group…. you will be blessed beyond words.
Thank you for being so REAL. Thank you for directing our path to His will. I cherish your wisdom and knowledge.
Your thoughts are so encouraging. Thanks for reminding us to remember our manners and be helpful to others.
Thank you! Great reminder. Love our MOPs group and its encouragement and support!
Oh Lysa this is wonderful! Just what I needed today and I’m checking into MOPS right now! Two things stood out to me in this post. Being “hyper aware of my frailties and faults” and “There is a gap between my desires and my reality”! You truly hit the nail on the head for me! Judging others is always bad – we have got to hold on tight to the love that we all have inside of us at ALL times!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you Lysa.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder! As a mother of a 2 year old son who sometimes has his moments (or should I say it’s me that has her moments!) this was exactly what I needed to hear today. I probably should print this out so I can carry it with me at all times!
Wow, hadn’t planned to sit and have a good cry this morning! This was such a timely read for me. This has been a week where I needed to be reminded of these things. I needed to be reminded that, although I can always do better, I’m probably not doing as horribly as I think I am. I confess that I also needed to be reminded that I can’t stand in judgement of other Mothers, or their parenting. Chances are, they too laid in bed last night wondering why they said or did those things that they did, and kicking themselves for not grabbing on to those beautiful moments with their child, the ones that will never come again.
Thank you for causing me to pause this morning, catch my breath, and set my heart and mind towards moving forward from here. I will tell my children what amazing gifts they both are to us, from God. I will teach them what they need to be taught, TRY to be a better example to them, love them, and wake up tomorrow and do it again.
This is awesome! Thank you Lysa! We moms need to stick together, because we really are all just trying to do our best 🙂
Thank you Lysa for all the wonderful words on encouragement you give everyday! As a mom and a christian speaking to other moms and christians you really know how we feel and what we need to hear each day. Thank you.
Thanks so much for this! You give me inspiration every time I read one of your articles…
Thanks so much for this! You give me inspiration every time I read one of your articles…
Lysa – Thank you so much for this. It really is a daily struggle that I think every mama out there faces, I know I do. We all have the greatest of intentions but don’t always live up to those, sometimes reality gets in the way. I think if instead of judging that mama who’s kid is screaming in Target we would just look at her and smile or say a kind word it would make it so much easier to be that mama whose kid is not perfect in that moment cause let’s face it we have all been there 🙂
How did you know that today would be THE day that this is what I needed?! To know that I am not alone in the strive to be the Mom that has it all together yet falls short. Thanks Lysa!
Thank you…you are such a blessing to me. Your words of inspiration always encourage me to be better yet accept myself failures and all because God created and hand selected me to be the mother of my children. May Good bless you richly. 🙂
These words are such a encouraging challenge to live by. Thank you.
Thank You for all the encouraging words! What a blessing you are.
This is so true! Thank you for always speaking truth and following after the Lord!
Loving other moms and not judging them is the ultimate example we can show our kids of how to love and be kind to others.
I will take this pledge. And I will add that I will try not to judge myself. I’m way too hard on my mama self. I can be my own worst enemy. :/
Thank you for this. I needed it today. I need it everyday. God has blessed me with a beautiful, bright, smarty pants child and some days I think He was crazy to think I could handle what comes our way. I need to remind myself daily (sometimes hourly) how lucky and blessed I am. I can only hope, pray and do my best everyday to make sure she turns out okay. I take this pledge to not judge other moms and to go easy on myself too. God bless us all. =)
What a great article. It’s good to know that every mom goes through many of the same thoughts and emotions. Which doesn’t make us bad mommies, but human. We all fall short at different times and we just need to take a moment and regroup and spend some quite time with God to help us regain our focus!
Lysa, you are awesome! It really gives me hope that I’m in a similar boat that I’m not the only one who thinks things like this. Thank you for writing all of your inspiring books because sometimes I feel like I’m drowning but when I read a chapter or two (when I can) it just makes my whole mood change and makes me feel I’m not alone in being a mom. Thanks again!!
Making the pledge with you today! Thanks Lysa!
Thank you so much for your inspiration each day! Thank you for being transparent! I’m such a perfectionist and really beat myself most days when I failed….yet again. My heart is so lifted by these emails everyday!
Thank you Lysa for taking the time and devotion to help minister to others. Your work has been a blessing for me as a new found Christian. I am currently reading your book Unglued, as it is the first book I have picked up to read for enjoyment in nearly 20+ years (since I was in high school). I look forward to expanding my reading for pleasure and learning more about living God’s way.
Thank you so much for all of your awesome blogs. I absolutely love reading them and they help get my day started on a better foot! 🙂
Thank you Lysa!! This just speaks volumes to me!! Thank you!!!
I always feel judged and I am very, very harsh and judgemental of myself. I think that is the worst part and the part that really tears me up and I have to work on. I will take the pledge.
What a great reminder! I want to take that pledge because it is so easy to forget that God just wants us to love each other.
Thanks so much for your very real advice and sharing your experiences with us. Glad to have discovered your books! My recent one I am reading is Unglued, good stuff.
thankyou for allowing GOD to shine through out your life to show us how to be better mom’s!
Thank you so much for being real. I find so much encouragement in reading your posts and have recently starting one of your books, “Unglued” devotions. There are so many days where I feel like I am coming unglued trying to be the wife, full-time working mom to 3 boys, ages 9,6, and 1.
Amen, Lysa! We really need to encourage one another, build each other up, and share a kind word whenever possible. You never know how that can be the turning point for someone’s day! Thank you for your continued caring and mentoring and loving for all of us imperfect moms making imperfect progress to being the very best that we can be!! God Bless & Keep you and your team in all you do!
I am sharing this with a mother on my son’s soccer team. Just last night at practice, their child was tired, irritable, and as many 6 years old, gave into an extreme meltdown. I saw the look for embarrassment and tiredness all over here as she couldn’t discipline him properly while coaching the other children. After practice, I hugged her and told her that she was doing a good job. We all have “mama drama” days. Thank you for sharing, Lisa. From one mother to another…YOU are doing a GREAT job and I love you!
I love reading all your devotions and blogs ! I pledge to try not to judge other moms . I’m not perfect by any means .
Thank you for being such a inspiring lady! I’m making the pledge today!
I feel this a lot of times. Other moms apologize for the lapse of manners or poor behavior, and I know I’ve been there too. I do sometimes find myself judging though. I’ll make a conscious decision today to be more aware and stop it! 🙂 just love.
Thank you for your encouragement….so many times we feel judged when we or our children mess up. We also need to encourage each other as we have a huge ministry & blessing in raising our children.
Thank you for allowing God to speak through you in such a powerful way. These words always seem to come just when I need to hear them most.
Love your blog! Thank you for your encouragement!
What an amazing pledge this is! Thanks Lysa for your inspiration!!
This just described me! Thank you for your encouragement!!
Lysa, I love to read your devotionals and even the little snipits of advice and questions you post on Facebook. So many of your posts relate to me now and bring back memories of other mom moments that bring tears to my eyes. I think more about the young moms. The one’s that remind me of me when my children were small: telling them no, looking stressed out, on the verge of tears, and just plain tired. It’s so important to support other women in general, whether they have children or not. We are to lift each other up and edify each other so that we can grow in our faith. I will promise to help my fellow ladies out even if it means sacrificing my time, treasures, and talents. Keep up the God work!
Thank you for your transparency. I take the pledge! You speak for millions of us!
I agree! It’s so easy to judge another mom, but let’s instead extend the grace we wish others would extend to us in our less-than-stellar mommy moments!
Thanks Lysa for such a timely word. It is so important that we as moms love one another and not judge one another. I had never really looked into MOPS before but I’m so glad I did today. Thank you.
Oh how those words ring true. I try so hard, and am sure that all moms are doing their best. Thank you for all of the encouragement and gentle reminder to not judge.
What a great article. Definitely taking this pledge!
Great encouraging words! I agree we need to give each other a break and not be judgmental. Parenting is the hardest job ever!!!
Such a wonderful pledge!! God bless you for sharing.
Thank you so much for this pledge! It was like you were reading my own thoughts. My kids have brought this point home to me when despite me pointing out all my failings to myself so often they cuddle up and say they have the best mom. We are human and should strive for better without being so hard on ourselves or other moms
Thank you for all your encouragement! With Christ and the love of Christian sisters to encourage us we can be the mommy’s God created us to be!
Thank for you for these words Lysa. It is so true that judgement comes naturally and easily, but since becoming a parent it is one thing I strive so hard not to do. When your child is crying in line at Target – I assume that maybe they missed their nap,or are teething, or are just having an off day. When you look frazzled and worn out – I assume you were up late last night with the baby, or changing sheets, or even just up late to enjoy some time with your husband. It’s so easy to assume the worst but our perspectives changes when we we get the full story. When we know each other’s stories, hurts, brokeness, we are so much more willing to give Grace. MOPs gives us the chance to know each other and be known by others. It’s easier to give grace when we know why something is happening. So when we see a mom who may not have it all together in that moment, we should take the time to imagine a story for her – and know she might be hurting and broken – and give her Grace not judgement. It is what God has given us – and I can’t say how thankful I am for that!
Seems almost everyday, the words you write, speak right to my heart! I too want to be a good mom…thanks for the encouragement!
After raising my first son, who is now 28, I thought I knew it all about parenting. He was a very well behaved, easy going child and young boy. I used to watch parents and really get upset and angry with them. And then my husband and I had another baby. This time life with a child wasn’t so easy and carefree. He was colicky, restless, irritable, and now at 4 years old, very strong willed. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a super kid who’s incredibly brilliant, but he uses a lot of my energy, both physically and mentally. I can relate to your feelings at the end of the day, as I’m now an older woman with less patience and energy to give. But after having a baby that we couldn’t take anywhere because he was SO upset about leaving the house, being in the car, or sitting in a stroller, our lives were turned upside down and I soon learned to stop judging other mothers. You just never know what they are going through, minute by minute. I’m sure that now, with my 4 year old, many mothers are judging me when I have a meltdown in the grocery store–yes, me, not my son! No one knows what I deal with on a daily basis, and no one knows how hard I try to do my best. And quite frankly, at this point in the game, I really don’t care what other mothers think of me, because I know I’m doing all that I can and what I can’t, God’s grace is more than sufficient.
You are a blessing to me and so many others, Lysa…thank you! God sent me this message three times today, so I am sharing: “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” ~Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)
Can you please give suggestions on how to find a good Mops group?! I thought for sure that every MOPs group would have solid Christian values. Not True!! Too many are posting their “nights out” on Fb, showing drinking & partying. It’s very unfair to those of us whom almost never have the availability to use a babysitter, to only have functions that are with out kids and gives a very bad image. Isn’t the basis of this group to support & grow great Christian adults?Why would we never have them around? MOPs, unfortunately has been very disappointing for me. Especially when they do not allow home schooled children over kindergarten age to attend the meetings & help out w/the little ones.
Your observations are so true. I was one of those mothers who always judged the other mothers, even when they were my friends. The Lord opened my eyes. This perfect little mom (me) has two lovely daughters that were raised in a Christian household. As young adults, they have pushed many boundaries. They don’t do drugs, thank you God.
They don’t drink (much,) thank you God.
They do other things, like….
Send naked pictures on their phones.
Have sex in public places.
Have an eating disorder.
Steal photos they ordered but thought cost too much to pay for.
I was and am a good mother but in so many ways I failed. I have a good relationship with my girls and that is why I even know about all these things. They shared these things with me over time. I am mortified by the things they have done. However, I have learned a few things:
1. I can only do my best and what seems like the right thing for my kids. The rest is up to them.
2. Peer pressure is HUGE. Naked pictures at our high school are common. When I asked my daughter why she did it, she said, “I don’t know. I knew it was wrong, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt for boy x to have a picture.” Well boy x then shared with all his buddies.
3. Eating disorders are awful. They deny it. Over and over. She has been to counseling but wouldn’t speak to the counselor about the real issues. Our struggle continues.
4. I decided to just be real. They can talk to me and I will try not to cringe. They can talk to me and I will use it as an opportunity to guide them, remind them, show them what is right and what is wrong.
5. I love them. It seems that so many of the things they do are done so they will be accepted or loved by someone (boy x, friend). So, I love them even more fiercely after these mistakes. My daughter told me about the pictures and said, “I was afraid I would disappoint you and you would hate me.”
6. God gets me through it everyday. Without God I would never have been able to see how wrong I was about other moms. How I am just a mom like so many others who does her best and ends up lacking.
So, I am in on the pact. My experiences had led me to this place and I support moms.
God bless all you moms out there. It has been said being a mom is the hardest job and I believe it.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and letting many other moms know they aren’t alone. Let’s pray together for all our kids. I’m realizing more and more how technology opens up temptations we didn’t have at their age. Love to you… Lysa
Thanks for the support and encouragement. Social media is such a huge part of our lives now but enables so many temptations. I pray for our kids and us moms!!!
God bless you and the guiding words you share with us.
Thank you for this post! There is such a temptation to judge other moms when we don’t have it all together all the time either. I will definitely take this pledge to heart and stop myself whenever I find myself in a judgmental moment.
Thanks for this article! It is such a good reminder to moms everywhere! I know that on my good days when my kids are acting like little angels, it’s so easy to judge the mom whose kids are out of control. But on my bad days, as I am hauling my former perfect angels out of the store by the necks of their shirts, I long for the compassion of moms around me. I wholeheartedly agree…let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt…and the support and encouragement and grace that we all deserve. Thanks for always keeping it real.
My cousin and I were JUST talking about you! I saw your Controlling Your Emotions video segment at MOPS on Tuesday, and it was wonderful!
Today I fell better since a lot of people make comments about my Son since he doesn’t
do things they way he was the tought.It make me very sad about because I did tried to do best I knew how. Is very easy to judge especially when in some occasion they don’t have children’s. thank for a good job you are doing.
Thanks for the reminder to extend grace to one another and to ourselves.
You have a gift- a way of expressing the thoughts, hopes, and fears of so many women. Thank you for another wonderful message.
Wow! I wish you could see the tears streaming down my face as I read this. I was a first time mom at 19 and am expecting my second child at 21. I also have bipolar disorder and depression. I have been surrounded by people that told me I couldn’t parent, I was a bad mom, and that I needed to have my daughter taken away from me. Through all the heartache, I have to remind myself that God is my help and my guide and He will help me be the best I can be. I dislike when other people judge me, so I pledge not to judge other mamas or guardians in general. We need to love each other and help each other.
Wow! Thank u so much. I couldn’t agree more. I cryed! I have 5 from1-15 years of age. So I understand fully the different emotions they can all bring. 🙂
This sounds so much like me. I start the day off with a bang, but it soon fizzles out by the time I’m halfway through my to-do list. Thank you Lysa!
I LOVE this Lysa!! Thank you for shedding such insight. The other day my girlfriend posted that she had packed extra lunches for a school field trip for kids that their parents might have forgotten to pack a lunch for them and so many of her friend mothers replied things like I can’t believe it, what are they thinking and such. I thought I’ve been there and I am no one to judge. I’ve forgotten show and tell days, I’ve forgotten wear your fave blue shirt day but I’ve also been there feeling the guilt that I forgot these important days and am no one to judge. I try my best but I am human. Instead of judging those moms that forget lunches for their kids I had compassion. I think we as mothers need more of that because it is a hard (of course rewarding) job that were just trying to do our best at!! Also MOPS was truly a god-send for me. We move around a lot with my husbands job and with each new city I’ve tried to get connected with the local MOPS group there. MOPS friends helped me change flat tires when my husbands is on the roadside biz, helped me pack, pray, and encourage me while getting ready for “that next move”. It’s a blessed organization and I am so grateful for their fellowship and mission.
I LOVEEEE this post!!!!
(as I do all of your posts)
But this one I want every mom I know to read!!
I’m a Mom of 7 and your snapshot description of real life is soooo so true!!!
Prayerfully, many Moms will read your post, be encouraged by it AND motivated by it, to stop themselves if or when they find themselves wrongly criticizing another momma they see or know!!!
Hugs Lysa!!! Thank you again!!!
Thank you for this nudge toward grace.
Hello from Cheyenne WY and Calvary Chapel MOPS! We <3 your blog, can't wait to see you at momcon.
I’m so thankful for your daily words of encouragement. I look forward to the mornings, after my devotions, to see a post you placed on FB. I swear at times we are twins facing them same struggles. Thank you so very much for being a sister in Christ for all of us.
I have had to learn to forgive myself when my day does not go as I planned. I ask my son for forgiveness when I snap or get frustrated.
Ahh…good to know that I’m not alone & I’ll happily pledge!
Thank you for this reminder! We all fall so far from who we want to be.
I pledge to never judge anothe mom. Instead maybe smile at her and tell her she’s doing a great job! Thank you for your words! And yes I will be at mom con!!! So Excited to grow as a mom and spiritually!
I want to thank you Lysa got this post. Not only for myself but for all the women out there. I wrote a long response but lost it before posting. I just wanted to say in a nutshell it’s a blessing to watch my grown daughters today demonstrate that they were watching even in those difficult teenage and post teen years. I’m sure The Lord has put me in situations and locations where I can give that encouragement and love even to total strangers. I’ve sat or stood there thinking what should I say? I’ve given hugs and praise or encouragement, it makes a difference. As you said in your post, we all need to pledge to not judge one another. It’s hard being a mother. It’s one of the hardest jobs we’ll ever have. But the rewards will just pop up over a lifetime. I see them with my girls and am so proud. Not perfect, but forgiven is a reminder. My faith has helped me with some difficult situations. Your children grow up, but they will always be your children. MOPS can be a great place for our women to seek friendships and encouragement. I wish they had had it when I was a young mother. But, I had sisters in faith, a wonderful grandmother, and graceful aunt who were there. Amen for sisterhood in learning and leaning on The Lord. Thank you Lysa for all your words of encouragement, everyday. You are a woman of grace and love.
We are hard enough critics of ourselves as moms. Let’s not make it harder for other moms! We should be there for each other to “double each other’s joy and halve each other’s sorrows.”
Thank you SO MUCH! You are such an encouragement to me and so many in a million different ways! Thank you for allowing God to use you to minister to so many!
I think I need this on a t-shirt! To let all the Mom’s I may pass during the day know that we are in this together and we should be building each other up not measuring ourselves against each other. THANK YOU Lysa!!!!
Your words are truly an inspiration for so many. With the day to day routine of life it’s easy to become overwhelmed and lose sight of the important things. I would like to say I have never judged another mother in the grocery store, and that in turn I have never been judged, but this just isn’t so. I have pledged to make a more conscious effort to lift my fellow mothers up in prayer, that the Lord may touch their lives and they may find comfort in knowing that they are not alone in the trenches of motherhood. Thank you for your inspiring words. God Bless.
Oh my how I needed this today. I had, or should I say we had (my daughter and I), a terrible night last night. One of those nights where you cry out to God “Why” and “PLEASE help me!”. I’m so grateful for your sharing Lysa; it helps me remember I’m not alone. Bless you!
Thank you, Lysa! I pledge to love you all and the moms that I come across in everyday life. It is so reassuring to know that we will love each other and not judge each other!
Wow, such a fantastic post. Thanks for the reminder to us all!
All of your posts, devotions, blogs, & books resonate so deeply in my spirit & the journey we call motherhood! Our mom’s group has joined in several of your studies & we chomp at the bit for each new one! 😉 Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experiences, & wisdom with all of us!!
Thank you (tears streaming) I’m having a bad day….needed this assurance that I’m ok.
I pray that my daughters realize and accept this–that we all have fallen short of our dream “the mommy I want to be”. We must support and love one another as Christ loves us. Only as a team will be make it across the goal–to raise God-loving, Jesus-following children.
LOVE this! I love seeing your posts on FB and reading your blog. What you write resonates so loudly with me. Thank you for following God’s leading, writing what is true and what is inspirational.
Loved your post. This is the exact lesson of Jill Savage’s book No More Perfect Moms, and it is one of the best books I have ever read. If your followers don’t know her, Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home, which is the first place I learned of Lysa TerKeurst and Proverbs 31 Ministries! She has a pledge similar to this associated with the book. http://www.hearts-at-home.org/index.php/nmpm-home
I love this. So often I go about in my “good” moments and if I see a child acting out or a parent lose it, I almost immediately say something negative either to myself or aloud. When I have my “bad” moments I either to myself or aloud hope that no one says anything or looks too strangely because this is not how I want myself or my children to be perceived. I have teenagers and I am having to re-teach myself better ways that aren’t quite so dysfunctional to parent them both. It is not an easy journey but it is a journey full of promises and blessings every single day whether I or they see them or not, moment depending. 🙂
What a great way to not only encourage and support each other but to get the same in return!
Thank you for sharing your heart and not being afraid to share. I forget too many times that I am not the only Mom going through the same things another Mom is. A lot of times I feel I am the only one who loses her temper, gets impatient, gets overwhelmed, my kids aren’t obeying me….it goes on. The reality is that ALL us Moms are in this life/raising kids journey and we do need each other and the Lord. Thank you Lysa and MOPS for all you do to encourage and build up women right where they are at!
You are such an inspiration to all! Thank you for your ministry.
This article, this very moment brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for you Lysa and for MOPs. MOPs has taught me above all else it is not about judging it is about surviving and through him we can do it differently but well!!
Thank you so much! I needed this message today!
Thank you so much for this. As moms, it’s so easy to judge other mothers without really knowing the circumstances! I’m going to share this on FB. You are so helpful with your books and your posts. Thank you for your ministry!
I’m a MOPS mom who will “graduate” this year. I cannot explain all of the support, knowledge, grace and love I’ve received for 8 years as a MOPS mom. Love love love this orgnization and Lysa!!!
So true. So often we never consider another’s perspective and situation. We assume so many things that lead to false judgments. I’m reminded to remember how much grace The Lord has given me in my journey with Him and to remember He extends that same grace to others.
Thank you!!! I pray that all moms and dads for that matter whether they have newborns or grandchildren pass love instead of judgement. We are all have good days and we’ve all had bad days.
I’m taking the pledge, I probably looked at someone weird when they had to deal with an out of control child somewhere, knowing that I have four kids who aren’t always undee control
YES, “Instead of judging you, I will love you”, SO “maybe you can love me too!!”
-I, Patty Q. Pledge to not judge other mommies.. I think all “moms should pledge to never judge one another”… “We’re all desperately trying to do this mothering thing right”.
I am a mother of two..Currently I have one of my sons far away.. in another country, I miss him dearly, and though I get to see him; I would love to be with him all the time; to wipe his tears, and laugh at his silly jokes, and be his FULL TIME MOMMY.
Many judge me and the decicions I took in the past, but few know what I have been through and how hurt I was… Thank You for your daily encouragements, and for helping me understand that all of us go through a daily struggle trying to to this “mother thing” right. God bless you, your family; your daughters, your sons…You have a beautiful family..that must mean you are doing SOMETHING right!!!! 🙂
Thank you for this. It is so easy to judge other moms and this is an amazing reminder that we are all in this motherhood thing together…learning every single day the kind of mother the Lord desires us to be for our children.
Oh, how I wish you were giving away a trip to the convention :). However, the books are a nice second prize, and MOPS is a wonderful blessing to me, and my family.
Great reminder for all us Moms doing our best. Thanks!
As a single mom, I love your support and encouragement for moms!
This is so true! It reminds me of a time I took my son to get a hair cut. I made the mistake of not using my double stroller, I had the baby with me, too. The salon was full and all the stylists were busy. My son was getting restless and I decided it was time to go and come back another day. Well, that didn’t sit very well with my son and he decided to throw the biggest tantrum to date. I had my baby in the car seat and trying to convince my son to come with me. He was crying, screaming, kicking, throwing himself on the floor and just would not budge. Then, a lady was going to her car at the same time and she saw I was struggling. She offered to watch the baby in her car seat while I put my tantrum throwing son in the car. I hesitated as she was a complete stranger, but she reassured me and said, I’ve been there. So, I let her watch the baby and put my son in the car. It was such a relief that instead of looking at me with disdain, she offered to help me. I will never forget that.
Thank you! I am not a single mom but I sure do feel like one. I just realized I don’t have any friends (besides long distance) and contacted our local MOPS group last week! I can’t wait to go!
Count me in! I have the best intentions and want to be a good mom to my boys! I am happy to pray for other moms and I know they’ll be praying for me!
I take the pledge. I have been judged by other moms – moms I didn’t even know – in the grocery store, in the parking lot. It hurts worse than I would think. You don’t know me. You haven’t been there every night for 18 months when my kids would wake up every hour. You think you can be Super Mom on an hour and half of sleep every night for 18 months? You think your baby sleeps through the night because you’re such a great mom? Your day is coming but you don’t see it. The day your teen lies to you and sneaks out or fails geometry. I take this pledge so I can avoid standing there smugly thinking I told you or you deserve that. I take this pledge that God may whisper in my ear at that moment “you’ve been there and you survived because I love you. I love her too. You love her too in my strength.” Thanks for the encouragement to rise above the siren call of judging.
Lysa, I recently started reading your books and blogs and every time I read your written words….it is as though you have given words to my thoughts and emotions….I am blessed and encouraged by you. Continue saying yes and being obedient to what God has called you to do. I look forward to meeting you one day and giving you a sisterly hug! Blessings!!!
Thank you for your wise words! You are so right and I needed to hear this! I will no longer judge a mother whose kids play up in the supermarket or when she loses her temper etc. And I will try to stay calm and start all over when my day doesn’t go as planned… God bless you!
If I see a mom struggling, I will try to pray for her instead of judge her. Who knows what she deals with or has gone through in her life?
Thank you for posting this. I am constantly putting myself down about my parenting abilities, I am not sure how to stop and start feeling better about how I am doing.
Thankyou for all you share with us. There is always something to take away and apply to my own life as wife ,mother ,grandmother. The book you mention in todays blogs sound really interesting and something I would pick up. so please put my name in the give away.
I always appreciate your insight! Thank you, Lysa!
Really needed this post today. I am so glad to have joined MOPS as well and look forward to the meetings. Thank you so much for sharing.
A mother of 4 boys…need I say more. I never finish anything I start…by the end of the day I am a lunatic and I sleep with one eye open. I need encouraging words not words tgat tear down. thanks Lysa…as always, just what needed today.
Oh I do hope all moms take the time to read your post and agree to do this. We should all be in this together, to support, encourage and learn from one another. Can’t wait to hear you speak at MomCon (this will be my first time attending) and thank you for this giveaway.
Thank you for this!! It’s so reassuring to know we all have moments and we all get worn out. As a single mom of two young boys, I pray everyday that they grow to be Godly men!
I pledge to be a loving mom to not just my children but to other moms. I also want to be that encourager every moment and not a judger.
I needed to read this today. I needed some perspective. Thanks. I will take the pledge .
Thank you for always encouraging us! I read your FB posts everyday and always feel your speaking right to me! I know Hod had put you in my path for a good reason! Thanks again and may God continue to bless you always!!
Totally in on the pact! And would love to win the MOPS giveaway! MOPS is like a life-line some days! Thanks for all your encouragement Lysa; can’t wait to hear you at MOMCon.
As a new mom, I had great role models of other young moms who said, you need to do this God’s way, which isn’t my way or her way or that lady over there’s way…just follow Him to do what’s best for your child! But what a burden off our shoulders knowing that God sees our intentions and our hearts when it comes to our children and offers forgiveness when we sin.
I am constantly amazed at God’s timing, though I shouldn’t be. The desperate need to hear encouraging words has been filled this morning after a long night of struggling with my parental choices and my teenager’s reactions. Thank you. We, as mothers, beat ourselves up enough just trying to properly guide these beautiful, young lives God has given us the responsibility for, why should we make other mothers’ burdens greater? Include me in this pact, as well as your prayers.
Sniff-Sniff. My eyes were puddling up reading this.
I have caught myself mid-rant at my kids in public before and turned around to make sure no one I know heard that. But even still I wonder what a stranger might think about me for my Mommy-meltdown. I choose to love the moms I know as well as those I don’t know, instead of looking at them like they grew a second head, when they display a less than “perfect” family.
Thank you. I just love this for so many reasons.
Thank you for pouring your heart and soul out. It’s nice to know we aren’t alone in this!
Thank you for your ministry and for reaching out to Moms. It’s so important to have a great source of advice and encouragement on raising Godly children in such a difficult and ungodly world. God Bless you!
As a future step-mother, I have also read the books. I always expected parenting to be hard, but honestly, being a step-parent is even harder. I love my future step-son as he is mine. I want to always teach him what is best for him. So, with your blog, “let’s make a pledge”, I am all for it. Parenting/Step-Parenting is an everyday learning experience. Prayer has helped a great deal with this experience in my life. Thank you for your sharing your thoughts with other mothers!
I just joined a MOPS group, and it has been a blessing. 🙂
I had a very difficult baby boy…twenty some years ago. Whenever I see a mom in the store, with a very difficult baby, I walk up to her and encourage her. I tell her she will miss this baby boy someday! And I know from the look on her face that she needed that encouragement! It is good that we go through tough times, so that we may have compassion for others who will travel that road. Amen!
Thanks for this great reminder that we do much better when we build each other up and give each other grace in our poorer moments of parenting. I find it is easy to get judgmental or to compare myself (and feel less than), neither of which are helpful.
Thanks so much! What a great reninder 🙂
Thank you so much. So much truth. Thank you thank you thank you!
I have recently begun to read your blog and I am currently reading “Unglued”! I love reading a book that is based on God’s Word! I appreciate so much your obedience to Christ and your honesty with the struggles that we all have. I praise God for you and your ministry. To God be the Glory!
Love your post! Have to start read more from your blog!
this has been me all week between soccer and church and teaching The teen class at church and cub scout and doctors appointment and homeschooling it’s Friday and I’m spent. Praying and so very thankful for God’s grace.
I can’t wait for MOMcon!!!!! 🙂
I want in on this pact! Thank you for the truth and the reminder.
Thank you! I’ve been going thru the mom blues all summer! I need to be part of this! Thanks
I accept this pledge for extending grace to other mamas as well as myself. BTW, Loooooooving Unglued!!! Imperfect progress, indeed, with this pledge as another stepping stone I need to navigate to be more like Jesus and to set a Godly example for my babes. There are times in life when God whispers loudly…when multiple resources are all in sync ‘mysteriously’ leading me to a better version of myself. Thank you for all of the encouragement that your wisdom and experience is providing as God is blessing me, us, through You. Blessings, Miranda
Thank you for your encouragement. What a wonderful pledge!!!
Thank you so much for speakin’ da truth!! We allllll feel this way! I am in! Pinky swear! 🙂
Thank you for this!!! Need to stop that voice in my head that says I don’t measure up to other moms or that my kids aren’t like other kids. God’s voice must be louder than those lies!
Thank you for your encouraging words & making us feel like we’re not failures. Every day IS a “do over” & like you mentioned, they don’t always turn out as we had planned. Your message today hit especially close to home for me. Thank you!
Thank you for posting this. While I hold “grace” as my highest value, I often forget to offer it to myself.
Thanks. I need all the help and encouragement.
Yes, we are in this together and need it to be that way!
Thanks for the gentle reminder and pledge.
Thank you for that! We need to be careful not to judge! I love my Mops group! I’ve been there for 6yrs and it’s a fantastic ministry!
I pledge! Great post.
I absolutely love this and believe it whole-heartedly. We need to stick together and support one another! Love it!!
Thank you for this post! I will definitely share.
I try so hard not to judge others or myself or do the comparing, but it’s such a temptation and trap. It wonderful to have reminders that “we’re all desperately trying to do this mothering thing right”.
Lysa. i completely agree. I pledge. This is a great post.
Love this article! Sharing with my mops group! 🙂
Praise God. Boy, we tend to look around and see how other moms raise their children compared to ours-good or bad. I know for me I am guilty of this. Just because you try the same methods of punishments or rewards as another doesn’t mean it will work on your child just the same. But when another child does something that you would never agree with Your child doing doesn’t make it right. Only a mom can understand her child(ren). There’s a different in being concerned and judging. I have learned this by others doing this to me. God has opened my eyes to see where I am wrong.
Wow!! This is exactly how I feel!! It helps me to know that I am not the only one who feels this way or goes through things that you mentioned (like the snapping in Target, LOL!)… I even fail sometimes to read your blog/devotion every day! :-/ But when I do, I love the encouragement and inspiration I receive from God through you… So, I am in on the pact… I am fully aware of how challenging mothering is… Thank you and God bless!!
My baby boys are 28 and 25 now and the memories of my own ‘mommy meltdowns’ are still fresh! I currently have the privilege of having my grandchildren 4 yrs, and 5 months living with us. You gave me a needed “stepping on my toes” to start remembering what it was like to be a young mom and put myself in my daughter-in-law’s shoes once in a while!
Thank you! I love reading your books. I feel encouraged and find hope in your words. Keep it up!!
Thank you for writing this! It’s a reminder I need to hear often as a young mom!
I’m so on board with this!!! Before I had children, I used to scowl at parents when their children would cry in stores and restaurants. “What’s wrong with those people? Don’t they teach their children how to behave?”, I’d think smugly. Now that I have four children, I feel empathy for parents when I hear their child crying at the store…(and a secret, guilty relief that its not my kid this time).
Yes, I start my day with good intentions, but after a day at work, or many errands with tired children, my nerves start to fray and my resolve to be a better mom weakens, and I find myself yelling at my kids. No judgements from me here!
Very inspiring post today, Lysa!
Oh today I almost cried in the store my children were having a full on fit in the checkout line.. I just wanted out of there and I kept saying in my mind ‘love is patient, love is kind’ when I just wanted to freak out!!!
So true. Most moms I know try so hard to be the best .we need to stop judging others and our self.
Amen!! Lets not judge – maybe that mom’s whos boy is wearing shorts and rubber boots with a spiderman cape REALLY needed groceries and getting into a “normal” outfit was going to cause fits that will stop her shopping trip fast in its tracks, maybe just maybe I have been THAT mom 🙂
You mean shorts, rubber boots and a cape aren’t “normal”?!?!? darn it! lol
This is so beautiful Lysa. I never realize the judging even went on until I had my son. I judge and others judge me – it’s horrible! I pray that I can control my own thoughts and emotions and remember how many times I mess up! This is a great reminder – sharing on my facebook page.
Nicole @ WKH
So true. We do all try so hard to do all the right things. Thank you for your encouragement! So needed today! It is a hard job being a wife and a mother. You give your it your heart, mind and soul and no one gets it perfect. Blessings.
I can’t even begin to express how hard this hit home today for me personally. I am the mother of a very colicky 6 week old. We have been struggling the last week day & night to help our little one. I have been trying to be as strong as I can, praying daily, seeking The Lord & frequently reaching out to friends & family both in person & via social media for support, encouragement & advice. That was until yesterday when I was viciously attacked verbally through social media by a younger mom who has only been at this for a few months longer than me. She called me selfish & began expressin through a status update and comments how terrible of a mother I am. How I need to pull up my big girl panties and shut up. That its really not that hard that I’m making it in to a bigger real than it is. Mind you she had the “perfect” child. It left me feeling very defeated & hurt, yet all I could think was, after deleting her was how can you judge me? That followed with she has no idea what it’s been like here in our home. This posting couldn’t have come at a better time for because I already felt this way. I will never judge another mom. It is one o the hardest yet most fulfilling jobs there is! God bless you for promoting this pledge and for those who have made the pledge!
So sorry you experienced meanness. We had a colicky baby and it is tough. My husband would lay on the couch and put her on his stomach to sleep in the middle of the night. They used to (19 years ago when my daughter was an infant!!) have homeopathic drops that helped so much. I don’t know the name, but I bet a health food store would be able to help you. Good luck and carry on. You can doooooo it!!!
Thanks for the encouragement! I needed it today.
Lysa thank you so much for this post. My children are grown but I still pray for them and want to set a good example for them. I pray for my grandchildren and want to set a good example for them. Thank you
This is very encouraging to me today! Thanks!
Thanks for the encouragement and for the giveaways. 🙂
This was a great post, thanks.
Thank you! It feels like a weight lifted from being judged and judging.
I think that the not judging is important. As a not wanted to be single parent it is much harder to be the one person to play both mother and father. Nothing is worse than people making comments that tear thru your soul.
I’m a single mom too and I so agree with you. I think we are out worst criticts and then someone judging us just is the icing on the cake. Not so said the Lord!
I agree with you. As a single mother of an eighteen year old and a teacher, I get so angry when I hear people blame a child’s problem on a single parent household! They have no idea how difficult it is to do the job of two people. I’d also like to add that my son is a polite, young gentlemen who has been raised in faith to do what is right. He went to visit my family last summer and called me to see if I’d come to his baptism, which he did of his own choice. He lives in the Lord and is very careful selecting his friend circle. God blessed me with a wonderful son and I think him daily. Hang in there; being a single mom is hard, but we are strong and can do this.
I’m always afraid of being judged. Either when it comes to dicpling my child in public or when i’m home alone with her and decide to just give her cereal in the morning instead of actually taking the time to make eggs. But honestly u get to thinking about it and when u see something out in public u don’t think twice about it… So really the reality of it is us as women need to feel less judged all the time because really everyone is just thinking about our own things
Great article….very important to remember!
Thank you Lysa for the encouragement.
Love reading your articles. Thank you for posting this pledge!
Hi Lysa. Thank you so much for these words. I am embarrassed to say but just about an hour ago I asked my husband to pray for me… I have been getting so frustrated at a mom for how she acts with her child (Not abusive but just different from how I parent my children). I know it doesn’t make sense… its not like its my child she’s acting like that to.
After our prayer together I realized that it was just the enemy’s tactic of getting me to act ungodly. I have promised myself that I will NOT let the enemy win!
I promise not to judge anyone, even if we do parent differently.
Once again, thank you so much! God bless!
Thanks for writing! Your words made me feel cared for.
Loved your pledge. We need to maintain kindness and love in our hearts for others.
Awesome! Love this idea! Thanks for sharing and may we lift each other up daily instead of being the thing that make us feel inadequate!
Thank you for the encouragement. Bless you!
At our first mops meeting an excerpt was read from the book..a poem and I loved it….it was so true about not judging each other and about finding our commonality of all of us just being moms, who love our kids and trying to do the best that we can. I tottaly agree with this…its just SO right..and the way it was said was perfect and beautiful. I would love to read the book…cant wait to dive right into it.
I love reading your books and I’m really excited about my first year with MOPS as a leader! I can only hope I follow your inspiration and God’s plan to help all of the moms I meet. Thank you!
I’ve been at both ends – caught myself being judgemental of other Moms and I’ve been judged too. It is a bad thing either way and certainly doesn’t do any good for the kids which is what we’re really concerned about right?
I recently received an extremely harsh email from my best friend telling me that my kids were going “down the tubes.” All the things I had tried to do right and all my efforts weren’t acknowledged. It was heartbreaking to read and I felt very discouraged. Later, my friend apologized for being so harsh but wanted me to know the truth. I’m sure that you would agree that we are our own worst critics. Support, instead of criticism would be much more welcome and helpful. Being a Mom is hard work. Working full-time and being a Mom is even harder! I believe we all need to do much better at encouraging one another and building each other up! Amen?
This is great, I had a revelation in regards to this earlier this month. I made the choice to homeschool my children and I was worried about how others would judge me, as I once judged someone for the same. “Creepy home school kids, and the hippy-bippy parents”. I was thinking it, but never said it. I’ve decided not to judge anyone in regards to their parenting decisions. This is confirmation.
Love..Pass it on! 😉
Love..Pass it on!
Makes me feel better to know I am not the inly mom to lose my cool!! Being a Christian mom seems to be that much harder!! Glad to have sisters in Christ who support me!!
I missed doing Mops when my girls were little, they were always too far away.
Loved this pledge. This made me cry cause it is VERY hard at times and we do lose our composure. But then when we see others lose theirs we tend to look down on them. Thank you for pointing this out. God help me to keep an open heart.
How easy it is to get caught up in the mundane. Not only do we begin to judge others….but we judge ourselves too. In an effort to curb our own insecurities, we search for a fault in one of our sisters. A mom, wife, daughter, woman…who is struggling just as we are, fighting off the same thoughts we are. The enemy will take every chance given to make us forget that we are all princesses. Daughters of the King. He loves us all equally. He CHOSE us to be the parents of our children. That should tell us something! Live every day with the strength and reassurance that we are beautifully made, perfectly placed where HE wants us to be. Seek Him, and you will not feel lost. Love Him, and receive a love that is more consuming that anything you have ever known….pushing away those insecurities, driving out the enemy.
What a blessing we are to each other!
Thank you so much!
Thank you so, so very much!
Loved MOPS when my kids were little. Such an encouragement.
I’m in! I Loved the article! I Already passed it to my girlfriends/family/Facebook. 🙂
I will make this pledge!
I would love one of these devotionals to help with my spiritual life so I can be a better parent!! It’s so hard when you feel like other parents are judging you for how your children behave. I try to teach my kids the right things, but many times they do not listen, get into things, and go against what I ask (4 kids ages 4 to 9), and the parents who have it all together with their kids think it would be so easy to have them obey. I feel stuck in this so much!!
I love this! I think it’s also important that in not judging other moms, we not judge ourselves..often the harshest judge.
This is so true! Even with moms whose children are grown and living on their own! Thank you for the reminder!
This sounds like my trip to Sweet Bay today. I was so tired, third time to the store today after forgetting so much every single time! Mind you I just got out of the parent pick up line and headed right to the store. After 6 isles of Mom can I , Mom please, Mom why not, Mom I’m getting this, I was just at my end. I turned and said to my daughter oh come on ! I haven’t even had time to answer your first question. And yes it was snappy, but the look I got from someone else made me feel like gum on the bottom of her shoe! I told my daughter I was sorry and we went on, but that look, that one single snot face will be with me when I lay my head down . So yes I fully agree not to judge!!!
Loved being part of MOPS when my kids were younger! Boy how time flies…now my oldest is in high school! I love the reminder to show love, compassion, and understanding rather than judge one another.
Yes, we moms are our own harshest critics.
Needed this right now. Thank you Jesus.
Good to know I’m not alone in my frailties.
Grace – needed and given!
Thanks for your encouragement always 🙂
Thank you for this encouraging reminder!
Amen and well said! I’m so thankful for Mops, it has seriously been such a blessing to me!
Thank you for what you said. We are all so hard on ourselves. It is a high calling to be a parent and we need God’s strength.
What a great reminder! I love this.
Thank you ,for thinking about all of the mothers in the world and how much of a struggle it can be at times to use the God given wisdom , that was a true gift from our heavenly father wisely! Love you all!
I am a teacher and a mom and find as I get older, I judge, when I know I shouldn’t when I know I was judged and I ask God to forgive me and I read this and I try again to love and be empathetic. Thank you! Your words came right from the Jesus’ lips.
Oh my, this is right on point! It is so comforting to know that we all share the same experiences. Now maybe I can let go of the guilt I put myself and stop judging others!
We just watched your dvd curriculum provided by MOPS on Friday the 13th. I had so many moms come up and say, “She was speaking directly to me!” or “I had such a rough morning and now I feel convicted to do better.” Thank you for sharing your story so other moms know they aren’t “bad” or “weird” they are just like other moms.
Being a mom,is a blessing. All strength is given by He who blessed you in the first place.therefore all strength is given at the foot of the CROSS!
amen! as a mom i have had to repent of my attitudes towards others before i had children. hoping to join a MOPS group this month.
I really feel that you are speaking directly to me! Thank you for saying the things I need to hear, just when I need them most! I have read Made to Crave and Unglued, I am also enrolled in the online bible study of your book. You have a gift…thank you for saying YES and sharing it with the world.
My children are adults, but still I can kick myself with memories of where I could have done better, said something differently, been more gentle….I would guess every parent does that to some degree. My children are wonderful adults and living lives for God. That’s the great thing, God even uses our parenting frailties to mold and sculpt our children.
Wow!!! So true! Exactly the words I needed to hear this week. Thank you!
Mops has been my anchor! – I was a teenage mother & now have 9 children – it is my rest/reward . LOVE IT
Wonderful. I am a member of MOPS. I am going to put this in our next newsletter. Thanks Lysa!
Great idea Lysa. I will have to remind my self daily. I mainly have problems judging myself instead of others.
Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. I love when you share your mom moments, because I can relate or shall I say you can relate to me. Your devotions make me well up in tears and then at times I smile and laugh. Thank you again and may the Lord continue to bless you.
Can’t wait to hear what the Lord has for you to share with all of the Women of Faith.
Thanks for the encouragement. I love my MOPS group. It is the one place where there is no ‘mommy’ judgement. Just love & support!
Thank you for the encouraging words and resources of MOPS
Hi Lysa-This has nothing to do with being a mom or your post, but I read that you read your comments. I just signed up for the Women of Faith Conference in Portland. I am from Charlotte, and have attended Elevation some, you have also spoken at my home church First Baptist Indian Trail. I recently moved to Portland, OR as a missionary and was serving under NAMB as apart of Send North America. I look forward to hearing you speak and having a home girl here in Portland. Safe flight. See you in a few weeks. IN Christ-Allison Baker
This put me in mind of “Unglued”, which I am reading now and rate near the top of the books which have most influenced me. I like your vulnerability and frankness. You have the ability to take the hand of your readers and pull us into your situation. Yet, like David in the Psalms, you don’t remain in the muck and mire of failure and blowing it AGAIN, but you point to omnipotent God and encourage us to hope in His deliverance and enabling.
Thank you for this challenge. I too easily judge yet hope others will understand when I mess up. Psalm 103 is one of my favorite psalms, especially verses 11-14: His Father heart has compassion on us in our sinfulness and remembers our frailty of heart and action.
Good thoughts! So often I am quick to judge! But truly, nearly all the women I know do want to be good moms.
Love MOPS! We moved to a MOPS-less town last year. I really miss MOPS!
I know how quickly the judgements can pop in and without warning, but instead of allowing the judgement to take root and grow we should turn it around into encouragement! There have been times I thought I would pull my hair out in a store with 3 small kids, and then a woman would walk by and smile and tell me I was doing a great job. That’s how we should treat each other. Even if we might disagree with some of their parenting choices, we should just simply tell them they are doing a great job, because they are doing what is best for their family!
Thank you so much!!! 🙂 It is so true, and something I really needed to hear right now as I have gotten a little too down on myself lately with my parenting bad moments. I am making this pledge now and I am no longer going to compare myself with the moms who appear to have it all together, b/c I know they have their moments also.
Thank you so much for sharing! This hits close to home for me. So nice to know we are all in the same boat and are not alone.
Now that my children are grown and even though I have precious grandchildren, it is really hard not to judge today’s parents and the difference in raising children now and the way we raised our back then! Thank you for the reminder that I’m not here to judge, just to worship the Lord and be thankful for all I have.
Hello Mrs. Terkeurst, I am on a committee for a ladies ministry at my church. I do the flyers and newsletter. I haven’t made the newsletter yet, but I have some ideas and one idea was to have a devotional in it. I really enjoy your writing and how you reach women and I would love to include your devotionals in the newsletter. I was wondering if I could get permission to use them. Thank you so much for writing your books, they are such an inspiration.
What a timely word! Thank you! Yes, I will choose to love others today when they face moments of weakness just like I do. Just like I do. Jesus, help us.
Thank you for reminding me, once again, that I am not “super mom” and that we all make the same mistakes. I feel as if I look at other moms as far more superior than I could ever be! However, I hear the exact opposite from other moms at PTO, church, and even on Facebook! I want so much more than my reality lets me give. I want to do crafts, watch movies, read books, etc, but my body tells me “No, you are tired! Sit and relax… you deserve it!”
Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone! I really hope that others do not judge me, as I now pledge not to judge them!
Excellent reminder! Thanks so much 🙂
My own expectations for mothering/homemaking never equal reality. One thing I always appreciate about your writing is that it is so grace filled, just like Jesus is! Thanks for being used by Him.
I don’t have kids myself yet, and my friends and I found it so easy to see moms with their children and pass judgements when the kids were misbehaving. Then all my friends started having kids, and I noticed that one by one, they stopped passing judgement on other moms. I started to realize that it may not be the fault of that poor mom who has her hands way too full. I’ve started to love those moms a little more, in hopes that when I finally do have kids of my own, they will love me too, when my kids are making me look like world’s worst mom.
Reading Made to Crave. Scenario: Home alone, brownies on the counter, voice in my head says, “Go for it!” Remembered what I have read. Grabbed my Bible and a cup of hot tea instead. Peace, contentment and a scale that affirmed my choice this morning.
Thank you for allowing God to use your struggles to help me with mine.
Agreed. I need the grace and fellow Momma’s to give ME the benefit of the doubt; I need to give them the same. This is a good challenge for me.
Especially respecting other people’s parenting styles…mine is NOT the only way! Thanks for the reminder!
Amen! Thanks for this post.
Thank u, for the encouragement reminds me that i am not alone, I am just human and god still loves me. I had my children young and I hv always felt that I am not giving my children my all. I thank u, again for ur encouragment I feel like I can be the mother I long to be, to my children.
Such good words to live by.
This is such a great encouraging and humbling post Lisa. Grateful to you!! Saw you this past weekend in California at Women of Faith and you are just as amazing, inspiring, funny and gracious in person!!!!
But who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:12
I want to start a MadetoCrave group on Eastern Shore Alabama. Can anyone help me?
Thank you. I have followed the website for a while and did a few bible studies. I have 4 children and an elderly mom that lives with me. I aslo work full time. I belong to a wonderful church but I do not have a lot of time to go to the ladies events. I feel a times “judged” . Oh poor ” ” she has soo much on her plate. I don’t get invited to “outings”,etc. I feel this is a safe place of solice and prayer. I soo need the encouragement and Lisa’s blogs make me feel Like…well ” invited”,accepted !
As a mother of a special need child with impulsive behaviors I felt judgement everywhere I went (except church). But showed me it doesn’t matter what other people think its my job as his mother to teach him, so in the middle of a mall or store I’d get on my knees shut out the looks around me and discipline my son. Now I help other moms that have that same look of sheer frustration on their faces, gently and with love.
Terri that is so wonderful that you are able to help others going down a similar path. I love that you mentioned that it is our job as mothers to teach our child. Thank you for sharing.
Christ gave me the gift of salvation while I was unworthy. God gave me the gift of children with all my imperfections. I have no reason to judge anyone else because I am praying my way through the same journey. My children are so patient with my mistakes and teaching me everyday, better ways to deal with them. I can only count on God’s instructions and pray that He intervenes in the raising of two beautiful Christ filled children.
Thank you blessings to you!
I agree that we shouldn’t judge other moms, but I have a really hard time with Christian moms in particular who turn away from Biblical advice. I have been struggling with a “friend” who I was very close with until I really got to know her. When I offer Biblical advice regarding her children she says I am “holier than thou” 🙁 Making mistakes as mothers is one thing…but to knowingly disregard Biblical wisdom as “old fashioned”, etc. has me struggling to not judge this woman:( Advice is certainly welcome!!
On one of your snippets on K-Love, I heard you talk about dealing with your kids fighting. You said that you told them (along these lines) that outside of the house, you all would meet people who would either be nice or mean, and that you had no control over that. But inside the house, you were a family. So inside the house, you were going to be nice to each other. I can’t find that post anywhere, can you send me a link? Thank you!!
thank you for this pledge. I hope every mother and those who are not mothers consider this pledge. It is a difficult thing raising children today and I’m thankful for websites like yours and the encouragement of Christian friends and of course the Word of God. Having three teenagers and one house and an 8 year old all very active and very different explosive ipersonalities. Thank you again for your encouragement.
Grammies too! we did all the things you mentioned and now we are praying for our kids and grandkids and lots of us are helping out trying to do so many things. We’re human too.