I used to think there were two categories of reactions people have when they come unglued: exploding and stuffing.
Exploding when we feel unglued means pushing emotions outward. A rush of feelings bubble up and out of our mouth with harsh words, condemning attitudes, and demonstrative gestures like slamming doors or banging our hand down on a table. The exploding makes us feel good in the moment because it gets the yuck out of us but when we realize all we’ve spewed on others and the hurt we’ve caused, the regret falls heavy.
We’ll either deflect that regret by blaming someone else for our actions or we’ll ingest that regret by shaming ourselves.
Stuffing when we feel unglued means pushing emotions inward. A rush of feelings are stopped from going out by being shoved in. We swallow hard our hurt feelings but not in an effort to process and release. Rather we wallow in the hurt. Like an oyster deals with the irritation of a grain of sand we coat the issue with more and more layers of hurt until a rock of sorts is formed.
But this rock is no pearl. It’s a rock with which we’ll eventually build a barrier or use it to hurl hurt in eventual retaliation.
In processing these definitions, studying the thousands of responses to posts I’ve written on raw emotions on my blog, and honestly assessing myself, I determined there are actually 4 categories of unglued reactions:
• Exploders who blame others
• Exploders who shame themselves
• Stuffers who build barriers
• Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks
Once I identified these four categories I wanted to know which one I fell into. You might even be wondering… “what type of reactor am I?” Well, we’ve created an Unglued assessment that you can take to find out!
Remember: these aren’t labels we carry around with us. These are things we’re identifying about ourselves so we can bring our raw emotions and unglued reactions under the healing revelations of Jesus.
Be sure to leave a comment below telling me what your result was. You’ll be entered to win a copy of the Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress!
Just as I suspected: a stuffer who builds barriers. Guess I need to read the book!
A stuffer who builds barriers. Yip, describes me to a tee and exactly what I have learned about myself in counseling. I have the book but haven’t been able to read it yet.
I knew it…a stuffer who builds barriers…who hates conflict, who knows who is “safe” and who is not. Just had an incident this morning that very clearly illustrates this…perhaps, just perhaps, God would like me to take a look at this so He can begin to heal it.
Stuffer who collects retalliation rocks
I’m an “Exploder who shame themselves”. I tend to need to get everything off my chest ASAP, but then overanalyze what I did/said “wrong” or how I was to blame! UUGH, maybe I’ll win a copy of the book! : )
Exploder who blames – not really sure it is a full fit. I’ve learned over the years to really process communication and just recently to address with out anger or frustration and let things go.
I believe at different times I can be all four. Just last night finished the six week study on “Unglued.” Now am making imperfect progress in controlling my raw emotions. What a great study it was.
Oh I’m an exploder who shames who sure. But I do have different reactions for different situations.
I like to combine them to, for example; with my husband I am an exploder who shames AND collects retaliation rocks.
At least I’m imperfect progress though? lol
I picked the “best” answers or should I say the answers that have applied to me longer in my lifetime. For a long time I classified myself as an “imploder” … hurts, anger, injury built up and I took everything out on me. These days I am much more likely to step back prayerfully from my feelings and allow the Holy Spirit to direct my response. Are the words being spoke to me legitimate, meant for correction and growth. Is it simply a misunderstanding or is Satan looking to derail me and pull me out of fellowship and back into isolation? Either way love covers, and we move forward together.
yes that’s me!Exploder who shame themselves!!! Only with the people I love! I keep quiet around everyone else.
I knew what I was before I took the assessement – an exploder who blames others. With God’s help, I’ve been working on it for awhile and improving and I hope I will continue to do so.
All of the above! An exploder who shames herself and collects retaliation rocks and hurls them. I just started the book and am convinced that you wrote it just for me, Lysa!
Exactly right….stuffer who builds barriers. I have your book and am reading it now!! Thanks for your help!
Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks!!
I’m a stuffer that builder barriers. A little revelation going on here and just in time for a confrontation with my daughter later today. Your devotional would be a tremendous help!
How do I get my results? I took the test but wasn’t sure how I’d find out. Thanks!
I am an Exploder who shame themselves. Although I am very good at building barriers too.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers and sometimes collects retalliation rocks…. to a point of making myself physically sick.
Yes. I knew it….stuffer who builds barriers…….I hate conflict. I would rather have my feelings hurt than for someone to be upset with me. I will get over it. I can forgive and forget ;-D
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. Which is weird, because before taking the test, I would’ve said I’m an exploder that blames themselves. I’m thinking I might get different results based on whom I picture when taking the test.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. When I read the results, I said this is me! I have wanted to purchase the Unglued Devotional, but due to extra expenses of my youngest son’s upcoming wedding, I have had to put it off. I know it will be a purchase I will make soon. Thank you for the ministry of Proverbs 31. It is such a blessing!!!!!
Lysa, I love all your books! I’m the “stuffer who builds barriers”. Wow seeing that in writing was like looking in a mirror. So true! But after reading ‘Unglued’ I’m inspired to make changes in my heart! Thank you for your daily inspiration!
I think I have been everything at one point or the other in my life! But the assessment says stuffer who builds barriers. I think The Lord is dredging my heart for the things I’ve buried to help me see the walls I built bc of them. Anyway, I have the book and devotional so my comment isn’t to win. I want to share a sweet “God-wink” (as my friend calls it) that I had today. I have a little blog and I mention you on it periodically…they know I love you and can’t wait to give you a big hug in Heaven one day! Your authentic sharing has truly ministered to me. Today I have my first-ever guest post published on (in)courage and I woke up to see it follows yours. It’s truly like His kiss on my forehead! I just laughed with joy:)
Thank you for sharing your life with us…you’ve inspired healing transparency in so many women!
I am a stuffer who builds barriers but generally only with my husband, ex-husband now. His words and actions hurt but rather than hurt him back, I just stuffed it and built that “safe” wall around my heart. Of course, building barriers is never safe because the hurt, pain and anger will eventually come out in some way.
a stuffer who builds barriers, 59 years old, been doing this my whole life, had a Mom who was the exact same, don’t want my daughters to follow the tradition
Exploding. I try so hard to be the person I know I need and want to be. I try really hard to put others before self, and try even harder to bury what I can if I know that the end result will only make it worse if anything is said. Lately however, that has been my struggle. I have noticed that because of my “burrying” I have allowed others to think they can say anything or behave in a way that is less than decent to me, in return thinking I will remain the Chrisitan I claim to be and let it be. Leave it to me to be the bigger person, apologize for the pain in our family (that I’ve not caused but rather them by selfish comments & actions that cannot be taken back). I’ve tried to watch the words in which I speak as to not hurt those around me, however tough that may be at times. I have witnessed how wicked their comments have been towards me this time because I’ve quiet and been polite (where in the past I’d have argued and shouted back). This only seems to fuel their fire even more, and the comments & stories are growing bigger and this valley feels as though I am being swallowed alive. I notice after reading this blog that I am an exploder, those moments of “why didn’t you make your bed, or finish your homework”, to “what do you mean you didn’t realize you had a test coming this week” are my moments of exploding to my family. That built up anger and I guess resentment inside for the comments of my in-laws has built up so much that I explode on those I love most over the small things.
This book would come in handy for sure…here’s to wishful thinking!!!
I’m a stuffer who collects rocks, YIKES!!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I have just recently noticed this about myself. Once I get so overwhelmed I tend to explode at my husband, even if none of it is his fault. Thankfully, this doesn’t happen all that often.
I guess I should have known i would be a stuffer who builds barriers. I go out of my way to avoid confrontation and have found over the years that “suffing it” eventually finds its way out and it’s pretty ugly and stinky after sitting and fermenting for years. I just bought the book and look forward to reading it! Thank You Lysa!
Exploder who blame others
Exploder who shames.
Oh dear! I’m a “Stuffer who Builds Barriers”. So glad I am going through the Unglued Study now. Just finished week 2 last night.
The assessment said i was an exploder who blames. I agree that i am an expoder but I am not sure what the blames is about.
Stuffer who build barriers – I knew it when I read the 4 reaction types. *sigh*
I’m a “stuffer who builds barriers”. This quiz defnitely makes me want to read Unglued!
Totally a “Stuffer who Builds Barriers”…..something I have known for quite a while now. But also, I think I am a combination of all 4 depending on the person and the situation. I started over on my 31 days of Proverbs yesterday and I plan on getting Unglued to work on these issues as well…..I am working on 31 days of change this month!!:) Thank you Lysa!!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers.
Yes, my husband would say that I am a stuffer who builds barriers. I am in the middle of reading the “Unglued” book and it is actually helping, but I have a long way to go! I was raised to feel like my opinion and hurts weren’t needing to be shared, so it is hard for me and actually easier to say “I’m fine” than to positively and deal with the issues at hand. I am learning though, God is kind and subtle showing me how 🙂
I have not received my results yet, I’m usually a stuffer, but I have also been known to explode. I’m doing a study at our church right now with a group of women. I read chapter 7 this morning. Lysa this book has been a great benefit to helping me grow. into a Godly woman. God new just when I needed it most, but I could have used it prior. I so appreciate your honesty and openness with your life. The DVD makes me want to go to Italy! Blessings to you
I am an exploder who blames others. 🙁 I NEED to read your book and devotional, Lysa.
I’m a mix, but with those I know, I stuff until I explode and then feel shame. With those I don’t know as well, I stuff and feel shame.
I love your term “imperfect progress.” That’s so encouraging — that there is progress, but it doesn’t have to be perfect. For someone like me who strives for perfection, that is a weight lifted!
I was an exploder before I read this book and did it as a Bible study with a group of ladies. it has been such a blessing to me in life. I have learned a lot about myself and about capturing my tongue before I speak. as always there is more work to be done and I will reread this book from a new perspective now. I have been able to close my mouth but have enabled stuffing. lol life is a process and I am growing and praise God He is clearing and teaching through amazing words of women like Lysa. I refuse to be defeated in the process of life and I choose hoy and growth over destruction and chaos.
Thanks again for sharing your hard learned truth Lysa.
A stuffer who builds barriers. I knew this – have known it – actually planned it early in my life. When my grandpa dies and the sexual molestation ended, I promised myself that nobody would ever hurt me or control me again. What is the best way to do this? Build up a very tall, very thick impermeable wall. It works. Unfortunately, it also keeps out all the people who want to care for you and love you – including God. I am working on chiseling away the wall to find a healthier me!
I thought I would be an exploder who shames herself but I came out as a stuffer who builds barriers. I have read Unglued and loved it! It is a daily struggle but it’s encouraging to know we all come unglued and with God’s help we can work towards building better relationships with others!
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. It does not come as a surprise to me.
I am an exploder who shames themselves. Thanks for this post Lysa!
My reaction is different depending upon who I’m dealing with…I’m a little of each one.
As I suspected, I am a Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. I know this about me, and I have more recently been trying not to react this way, but still, it seems to be my first instinct. What’s worse, the person I had in my head when taking the assessment was my husband! We both hurl those rocks well when something comes up, and after 25 years, we both have pretty good aim!!….however, we ARE working on it!! Thanks, Lysa!!
here is my results Ms. Lysa I also have your book unglude and the guide workbook could not afford the 60 days Imperfect progress unglued devotional would love to have it.
In Christ Love
Stuffer who build barriers
In this relationship you do not express your hurt feelings but instead you build a barrier within the relationship. You don’t like conflict and feel the need to protect yourself from further frustration or hurt. The other person knows something is wrong because of the way you’ve pulled back emotionally in the relationship. But you continue to say, “I’m fine,” even when you’re anything but okay. Lysa TerKeurst’s Biblically-based book, Unglued, will help you break free from barriers that shut down communication. Your relationships will dramatically improve when you know how to establish healthy boundaries where you feel safe enough to communicate honestly, even in times of conflict. Click here for more information.
I am a stuffer who collects retalliation rocks. Which makes sense and I am sure my husband would agree. I have your book, but as a busy working mom have not read it yet. I hope to be able to soon. Thanks !!
I am a stuffer who build barriers….until I kersplode. *That is me fo sho. Thank you for this! 😀
Exploder who shame themselves. This result is very telling as I am currently asking the Lord to help me work through my feelings of shame.
Wow, this hit the nail on the head! I’m quick tempered, but I can usually get a grip before I let my emotions rule my tongue or actions. I can stuff for a little while, but then I usually loose it on someone who really doesn’t deserve it, then I feel so quilty. Thank you Lord for Lysa and her wonderful devotions they are a true Blessing in my life.
I read your book and I love it! I have even shared it with a girlfriend. I’m wondering if there’s a version of this out there somewhere for men. Something with the exact same concepts, but with examples and stories that they can better relate to as a male. If it doesn’t exist, it would be so great if one was written! I know a couple people who would be interested.
Oh, and I’m all 4 depending on the situation. But mostly I’m both kinds of exploder.
Ohhhh, a stuffer with retaliation rocks. I thought being quiet was good, processing things over time and trying to find gentle ways to point out and name the disappointments and pain. I guess we’re always over to one side too far and need to be willing to examine our heart and motives farther…onward!
Stuffer who builds barriers…I don’t like conflict at all and want to feel in control.
Exploder who blames others – Wow! I don’t think I saw anyone else with this “title”. What does that say about me? I used my relationalship with my daughter for this survey and her words, “mom you think you are so perfect” shouted at me!! I could just cry that I would make her feel “imperfect” when I am trying to just be a good example and I think I’m explaining my thought processes not “blaming” her. I don’t ever mean to play the blame game and want to learn how not to do that. Would love your book!
I’m a Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. It’s true and I want to stop. I need this book. It’s hard to live this way. I’m so hurt and disappointed in the moment but I know that I can explode and be hurtful so I just stuff it. Then, when I can’t take it anymore, it all comes out anyway, just as, or most likely, even more hurtful than it would have been…
My results indicated that I am a Stuffer who Builds Barriers. However, I actually think I am actually each of the reactors depending on the situation, person/people involved and how much I have previously stuffed. Unfortunately, stuffing can only go so far before it become a massive, uncontrolled explosion with a lot of snot, tears, soggy kleenex, regret, sorrow and later headache remedies and something to reduce the puffy, tear swollen eyes and blotchy forehead.
Just as I thought…. Stuffer who build barriers. will be getting the book =)
I can be all four of these types. It’s sad..I do tend to keep score with certain people. I dont like conflict. My temper has gotten better over the years, but I can be a slow boiler…and then unload whe really provoked. I need the book!!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings… even if they’ve devasted mine. That really isn’t walking in victory, though.
stuffer who builds barriers – no surprise here. I can be tormented for years over a single incident
A little surprising, but I’m a stuffer who collect retaliation rocks. I knew that I was a stuffer, but didn’t realize that I collected retaliation rocks, hmm. Interesting, guess I need to read the book ;0)
I for one am an exploder in my house hold. I can explode at the drop of a hat. The only issue I have now is that Daniel,my son, is an exploder as well. He can get mad at the drop of a hat as well.
Just as I suspected, a stuffer who builds barriers. I could really use the devotional to work on this!
A stuffer who collections retaliation rocks. But I realized this and am trying to work on it. It is not an easy task, but trying and praying for guidance.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers, Lol. This description had me so suprised because it explained and exposed me from A-Z. Not making excuses for being a “stuffer who builds barriers” but in a sense I’m this way because I give people (who I love) so many chances, overlook so much, extend grace to them, that once I see you’re completely oblivious or either don’t care about my feelings then the best move for us both is for me to distance myself because other wise I’m going to retaliate. This will lead to me saying something that I absolutely know will be hurtful and in all honesty this is something that I don’t want to do. Maybe reading Unglued will assist me!
Yvette, that is me to a tee as well….
I am stuffer that build barriers! I am going through hard time right now with almost everybody in my life. I feel very sad most of the time,I did borrow your book from library because I felt I needed too. I don’t have any money to buy any of your books, I am thankful fo able to borrow them! I really love to have a devotional to help me, to know to how handle things the way I should. Because life is a little overwhelming right now,thank you for giving the tools I need and chance to win your books! God bless you in everything you do! Julie
A Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks! I have to agree.
an Exploder who shames themselves… because I based my answers on how I deal with my husband. And I am getting better all the time! Thanks to your posts, your book, (and God’s help of course) I am learning how to stop, pray, wait if necessary, and THEN broach the subject with Russ. It is so much better! Sometimes I just talk to God and cry and let the hurt out because I realize it has far more to do with me, my past, my own uber-sensitivities than it does with him. However, I do let him know if he has hurt my feelings and I also ask for an apology…AFTER I have done my work first. =)
I also find it interesting, as you have pointed out before, that depending on who you are dealing with the response might be remarkably different.
Stuffer who builds barriers
I am so a stuffer who puts up barriers! Although, there are certain people and situations, where I will blow up, but that is usually if I am defending a loved one, especially my Son or Husband. However, it takes a lot to get me to that point, because generally I don’t like confrontation, and I want everyone to “like” me… I know the book would help me a lot!!!
Exploder who blames! @.@ Didnt think I was. Yikes! Did think I was an exploder, didnt think I blamed. I’m always blaming myself. :/
I’m an exploder who shames herself. I was a little surprised, I thought I would be the other kind of exploder. It’s definitely something I need to work on!
I am a stuffer that builds barriers. I read the Unglued book and need to go back and reread it!! The devotional would be a great companion and daily reminder for me to work on this.
I have never read your book… so for me the result on the website was Exploder who shames themselves.. I tend to think Exploder who blame others… I knew I was one of those two anyway 🙂 I tend to think this is accurate now that I read the definition a little closer. Maybe this book will help me out with all the obstacles I am having right now. A husband who is a severe stuffer… then explodes with rocks of steel.. boy do those hurt.. 🙁
Stuffer who collects rocks! YOWZER!
I’m not at all surprised…A stuffer that builds barriers.
I am an exploder who shames myself. I think I am only this way with my husband with others I stuff my feelings away. Isn’t it funny how those you love the most you are the most ugly to? I am reading your book and I cannot put it down. It speaks to me on so many levels. Thank you so much for writing a book that feels like looking in a mirror.
I’m a stuffer that builds barriers. I get angry or resentful and put a wall up. Not very healthy, I know. Once in awhile it leads to an explosion….I could sooo relate to the story in your unglued book about getting mad at your husband over a diet coke. I have done that very same type of thing with my husband. Thanks for sharing that.
Wow, how timely… this very morning I blew up on a loved one and said the evil that spewed from my heart… I am sorry and I am an “Exploder who shames herself”
Boy can I used a copy of this book!
I think I am different ones of those in different situations. I’m not one to really fall into a category with anything, and different people/issues/days produce different reactions in me. I’ve done all 4 of those things, just about equally. I’ve also happily found myself dealing with raw emotion, as it happens. I’m good at being a “walk-awayer” and I can then breathe and think and pray and process. Like, just give me a few minutes, because you just ripped me apart and I need to walk over here for a moment and remember I’m a Christian, so I don’t strangle you.
Keep up the great work, Lysa!
I knew that I was a stuffer who builds barriers before I took the assessment. I am going through a situation with two of my friends who were also in my Bilble Study. I have been trying very hard to forgive and get past the offense, but I just don’t feel the same about them or my friendship. I have purchased the Unglued book and I am hoping that I will learn some things that can help me move past this and also help with future encounters.
Stuffer who builds barriers
Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks…kind of surprised me!
I am a exploder who blames others 🙁 this I know is not of GOD. This is something my heart longs to change to the Glory of GOD.
Quite accurate. I am a stuffer and I do withdraw rather than deal with a lot of conflict if it has anything to do with me. If it has to do with my family or close friends, then I step out of my comfort zone and deal with it. Thanks.
Exploder who shames myself. Oh how very true that is. And there is absolutely no way to take those words back once they’ve flown out of my mouth. Then I will consistently wake up at 3 am with the monkey mind racing 90 miles an hour reminding me of every awful time I have done this. At that point I give it all to God … and take it back.
… sigh …
Exploder who blames…… ;0(
I was a stuffer who built barriers for 53 years, but only with men, my abuve stepfather and/or husband. Year 54 I lost it. So there were a few rocks in there too. My rocks flew for about a half hour then I apologized. For what, I am not sure. There wasn’t one thing that I said that wasn’t true. of course the way it came out might not have been the best. I had always took whatever was dished out (physical,emotional,sexual or verbal abuse) and said “Oh, that’s ok”. I am finding myself doing it again and I don’t like it. I have read Unglued and am on to a title that was suggested called Remptive Divorce by Mark Gaither.
I am an exploder. 100% full fledge Itailian–BLAH!!!!!!!–exploder. I have three boys. Sometimes, my adult temper tantrums are not pretty. I always, always, always try to immediately right my wrongs….but I definitely shame myself……I’d love to read your book.
I am a Stuffer who builds barriers. I am working hard to not let that rock form. I read “Unglued” and loved it. I will continue to refer back to it to help me.
When I first took the test I really thought it would be an exploder so I was shocked to find out I was actually a Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks. When I read the explination.. it really made sense. Not only do I hurt myself by stuffing, my retaliation rocks hurt others. I need to learn to effectively process my feelings so that I don’t leave a path of damage!
I’m an Exploder who shames herself. Fits me perfectly. Although i have spent the better part of 2 years working on my reaction, sometimes i cant help but explode to finally feel the release of built up frustrations. Lord help me!
exploder who blames others….need the book
Let’s say I’m a sophisticated stuffer. I take all the unrespectable and dishonorable moments of weakness in others and disect them to whether I will return for a second round. If I have no choice, then I will bring my case before them as a defense attorney without emotional influence. I don’t want to get entangled with anger or other emotions that give into the flesh. If I am offended, then I still bring myself into that process of regaining my position in Christ. Not easy to do when words are involved that may be of a negative source. The closer people are to us, the harder it is to forgive and move on. God’s grace coveres a multitude of sins, but we can’t fail to neglect to speak the truth in love.
I’m an exploder who shames myself. I thought I would be an exploder who blames others. Hmm, guess there’s no debate on the exploder part…
I am exploder who shames myself. I can tend to act in several of the ways described depending on the circumstance or whether I stop to think and decide not to go with my initial first thought reaction. I guess this does describe me well and after hearing Lysa speak on this at our church, I have been trying to check myself before jumping to respond. Great assessment!
Exploder who blames others…I knew I was an exploder, but didn’t really realize I blame others until I read the description and the part that said you feel like you wouldn’t have reacted in that way if it hadn’t been for how acted. I can agree with that. I also feel lots of shame for how I react especially when it’s my children who I come unglued with. I so desperately want to teach them appropriate ways to respond, but yet i can’t even do it myself.
Oh my goodness! I feel just how you explained it! I have boys and I totally blow up especially with my 7-year-old and feel awful right after. I so want to show them how not to react just like their mama reacts and I pray everyday how to not explode on them.
I will keep all the mamas out there in my prayers – 🙂
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I totally agree with the stuffer – I knew that going in – but while I’m not a retaliator, I’m not really sure I build barriers, either. I definitely get quiet for a period of time, but I do let go (eventually) and move on. It’s certainly given me something to think about, that’s for sure.
I’m a stuffer who collect retaliation rocks. It confirmed what I already knew. The following portion of I Corinthians 13:5, always convicts me: “…it keeps no record of wrongs.”
stuffer who builds barriers – not all that surprising, based on the relationship I had in mind when I responded. Part of my self-preservation 🙁
A stuffer who builds barriers…there is truth in this assessment. Waa
I struggle the most with setting healthy boundaries – sometimes too close, other times a solid brick wall; in both cases shame and guilt follow.
stuffer who builds barriers – I frequently replay conversations where if only I had said this or that, but know that I don’t have the courage to because of my fear of confrontation and rejection. 🙁
Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks
I’m a Stuffer Who Builds Barriers. Everything was spot on. I end up suppressing my emotions thinking it is for the greater good if I just let things go, but in the end I’m not the only one feeling hurt and frustrated. I’m not really letting it go, just hiding it until I hit a breaking point in communication and intimacy! Thanks for the revelation!
Can a person be more than one of the four?
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. I am really not surprised because my first line of defense often is to shut down and shut others out of my world….not a good choice!
Exploder who shame themselves…I agree with a previous commentor. How can I help my children have godly reactions if I can’t even do it. Been working on this for years…have your book, now I need to find time to read and apply it. Lord help me!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I knew this. I don’t like confrontation or rejection and will go to lengths, I guess, to avoid them. When I’m uncomfortable in a situation, I get quiet.
Hi! I am SO a stuffer! I stuff my emotions down SO deep and start to feel really down and upset with the other person without them ever knowing. I have been known to explode after keeping those emotions in for so long. I know neither are good. I really need to work on not stuffing things and speaking the truth in love with those who have upset me. TY for this post! God Bless you and your awesome ministry! Julie
I did this assessment with my husband in mind, since I am different with others. But really, the results. “Stuffer who builds barriers” is generally true of me across the board. I’m leading a group of women this summer through your book, Unglued, Lysa, and I’m really looking forward to it!
I’m exploder who shames herself. But it also depends on the person. There are sometimes I won’t say anything and maybe later I’ll bring it up. There are also times, I will not argue with someone right away, I’ll walk away and give some thought to the situation before talking about it. I used to stuff my feelings and then explode after I had time to get myself all worked up. In this situation, I was thinking of my mom, she has a lot of bitter and anger inside of her and she does not stuff anything.
I am a Stuffer who build barriers. After I read the description, I think this absolutley sounds like me. I avoid confrontation at all costs and it has put rifts in relationships because I close myself off emotionally from them.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. Although I do feel that the Lord is always working with me, and is helping me learn how to deal with things in a healthier way and work things out appropriately in the relationships that matter the most.
Took the short quiz and found out I am a exploder who shame themselves which I thought I would be the stuffer who builds barriers I have the book Unglued and had starting reading it I definintely need to get back to it life with husband is very irritating these days. I love getting the emails every day and especially the thoughts on facebook awesome. Thanks for all of your encouraging words. God Bless & Hugs
I’m a Stuffer who build barriers. Your quiz is really good! It’s explanation fit me perfectly! I have been trying to break the habits of being like this for a long time. I still have work to do! Thanks for all you and your ministry does! God bless you!
I’m a stuffer who build barriers. I’m working healing my past so I can walk forward and
let go. I want to heal pass relationships so I don’t have to carry such a heavy load and free myself of not being good enough. I’m so thankful for Proverbs 31 Ministries and the women who write the devotions. Thank you for helping me in my walk with Christ.
My result was “Stuffer who builds barriers”….and this seems true and accurate (as much as I am able to see, objectively)…. I know that past hurts (the intentional kind) did their damage, and have created some “scar tissue” on an emotional level. Thank you for reminding me, as this is something I must remember to bring to the Lord in prayer…and being honest with Him about it when I do…. I’m sharing this assessment with my Christian sisters, in hopes it will open up some spiritual and emotional windows for them as well… 🙂
stuffer who builds barriers–exactly what I thought I would be:(
Stuffer who builds barriers. I remember even in college when we had a conflict in our dorm, I put my head down on my knees to shut it out. Unglued is an answer to prayer! I am leading a small group through it and we are all making “imperfect progress” and supporting each other along the way. 🙂
I am a Stuffer Who Builds Barriers
“Stuffer with retaliation rocks” surprised me in some ways because i believe I’m more of an exploder. however, more realistically I’m probably a combination of all the 4 depending on the specific circumstances or people I’m dealing with. As I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus, i’ve perhaps gotten better to at least delaying the explosions! Unglued has helped me understand the effect my upbringing had on me – with an exploder mom and a stuffer dad….stuffer until he’d had enough and then the explosion happened!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers and it has been pointed out to my by my hubby often. It has been hard to express the fears and concerns that I’ve collected. I feel if I do confront, then my friend or family member will turn away from me. I’ve experienced this response from my youngest sister who has denied me knowledge of what is going on with my Mom who lives far away and suffers from Parkinson’s. She gives me generalities and never expresses what I need to know.
Unfortunately I am some of two of them…a Stuffer that collects retaliation rocks and there are times when I am an Exploder that blames others and of course I feel horrible afterwards. But there have been times when I have tried the “face it now” strategy with the person who has upset and they explode and everything is lost at that point because no one is really listening….so I guess I have my work cut out for me. Thank you so much for covering this subject because at least it gave me a name to call it in the future. God’s Blessings to you Lysa.
I’m a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. I knew I was a stuffer before I took the quiz,but am honestly surprised by the retaliation part. I think of other relationships where I have more likely built huge barriers becauese I’m afraid I would explode if I didn’t
It’s ugly to write it out in black and white, but I am an exploder who blames others. This is something that God is working on me about. I am doing my level best to stop trying so hard and allow His peace and perspective to flood me, instead of the anger that I so often allow to flood me, instead. These sorts of realizations, and then a deep desire for change, are such life changers!
I love your blog. I get so much encouragement from your words and testimony. I found out that I’m an exploder then I feel ashamed. I hope to win your book, I’m sure I could grow spiritually through it.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. No surprise there! This quiz was spot on. I hate conflict. So much so I let people run all over me. I also build the barrier to hide the hurt or deflect it. I definitely am getting your book to improve my mindset and build better relationships! Thank you so much for your ministry!
I got Exploder that shames herself but I really fit into all the categories depending on who I’m with and what the situation is.
I react as an exploder who shames herself. This behavior is currently destroying two of the most important relationships in my life. Lysa, could you please pray for me?
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I checked out your book Unglued from the library. Within a day, I realized that you wrote this book for me and that I needed my own copy. So I journeyed to the bookstore to purchase my own so I can highlight it. I think I would really benefit from your devotional and hope to win it!
Stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. This is so me. Eek.
It was right on the money for me. A stuffer who builds barriers!
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. Not a big surprise. Something to continue working on with God’s help.
My result wasn’t a surprise to me at all, unfortunately. I’m a stuffer who builds barriers.
Stuffer who builds barriers, I knew that, and God is working.=) I am a peacemaker, I don’t like confrontation, but realize how important it is to talk it out and not build barriers.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. That description fits me to a T.
I react differently to different people. I’m a combination of all these. What would it feel like to be honest with people?
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I am not surprised. I don’t like conflict. It would be much easier if the other person would just see it my way!!
Stuffer who builds barriers. Very accurate assessment. Thank you.
A stuffer who collects retaliation rocks..I do like to step back and think about what just took place and then I usually take it to the Lord. I think there are some people that you can’t talk to about their offenses, because they are not ready to listen. It is even more true of a parent that feels they must be the one that is right and it is dishonoring to them if you disagree with them.
One of the things that I have learned is when I have had an argument with someone and I find it replaying in my head, that I have been hurt in some way. It is then that I actually realize the hurt and can bring it to the Lord.
I’m an exploder who blames others. I knew that before the assessment, but it really hits home to have confirmation. It’s, “I wouldn’t be angry if….”, “I wouldn’t be yelling if…”, or, “If you would only…”. I know that my reactions are MY choice. I just don’t know how to choose different.
This was hard. I really could have answered the questions in different ways depending on the situation. I think I am all of them at different times. I’m curious to read the book to learn more about how the different types are defined and suggestions on how to communicate in healthier ways. 🙂
Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks
Stuffer who build barriers…as I expected.
My test revealed that I am an Exploder who shame themselves. Although, I would say that I am all four. I can’t wait to get the devo. Lysa, you are such a blessing!!
No surprise for me –I’m a stuffer who builds barriers , Hope the devotion helps me !!
Definitely a stuffer who builds barriers. Knew it before I took the test. Always afraid anger is “unchristian”. I try to be a peacemaker,while all that is in me is the farthest thing from peace I could imagine.
I am all four and see each one in myself at different times Lord help me…
No surprise here- I’m a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks! Looking forward to sharing in Unglued – I’m just found Lysa (LOVE YOU!) through a friends recommendation to join the Made to Crave 60 day devotional. Which I did and downloaded the book! You have a gift, please keep sharing your story, struggles, successes and walk with God with such gut level honesty.
Unglued assessment- I didn’t get about the Exploder and Stuffer. My page was empty in the middle where it should have been. I really wanted to try this to find out exactly which I was. Thank you- if you could just send it through again- would love it. Love your devotions and so many of them apply to me. Have your books- enjoy them and am so grateful for the spiritual help they give me. I look forward to the email every day and often use some of them for my UMW women’s group in church. Thank you again.
Please ignore the previous comment- just found the assessment on this page. Woe is me.
With my family I am an exploder who blames others. I’ve prayed for this to change and when nothing gets better, I get angry and explode at God. Not pretty
Stuffer who builds barriers…no surprise to me. God has been pointing this out to me in the past couple of months and I have gotten some counsel on taking risks with people who don’t feel safe to me. Totally out of my comfort zone. I bet anyone who falls into this category can relate. I need to be willing to change. I just heard someone on the radio say, “Fear is faith that has said its prayers.” Encouragement to persevere in prayer about this and take baby steps of faith.
I find it interesting that I struggled with pick just one answer for some of the questions. In some situations I react differently than others. Especially if I am at home with only my family or out and about with others watching. How sad it is to know that I feel so free to be nasty in my responses when it’s just “us”. I really need to work on that one, for sure!
Thank you for your faithfulness and service. Your words truly bless me daily.
Wow! Exactly unfortunately who I am a Stuffer who build barriers! I have been through a discipleship program at my church and have discussed this “barrier” I build up, but there is this habit of falling back into that comfort zone of putting up a wall. I am though like everyone else work in progress with God and I know one day I will feel comfortable and secure enough in Him to speak and not put up walls anymore!
This assessment is right on the spot. Exploder who shame themselves. Our ladies Bible study went through “Unglued” this Winter. The Lord has been working on my thought processes to get me more aligned with his.
Thank you Lysa, for obeying our Lord and bringing us these helpful tools 😉
You sister in Christ,
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. I knew that one was coming. 🙂 I will definitely get Unglued after I finish my current study.
Stuffer who collects rocks. I also wasn’t sure since I would choose different answers for friends than family. But I still can see this us true for the most part. Would love to get the book.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers – and I think I knew that. Conflict is hard for me, so I tend to internalize it until I’m ready to explode! Maybe knowing this will be a helpful start to a healthier way of dealing with conflict.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. That is so true! I have very few friends and I am not good at putting myself out there. I have a tendency to avoid arguments at all costs. I want to do the unglued study!
I am definitely a stuffer who collects retaliation clocks. I suspected this was me before I even took the quiz. Its something I’m aware of and I am trying to deal with but its definitely difficult for me.
Hummm….Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks. I thought I was an exploder.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. You’d think I was in construction by how good I am at this. :-/
Thanks for the survey. I regret to say that the results correctly identified me as a stuffer who builds barriers. Yes, another clam at work producing a rock of emotions. Thanks for the tips in your blog. They do help 🙂 Take care
I knew I was an exploder before I took the assessment. It only confirmed what I already knew. Instead of expressing my hurt feelings I shut down and build a barrier against that person to ensure that I won’t let my guard down again. That way I protect myself from further frustration or hurt. When my “chest gets full” from holding in my feelings, and I’m really upset, I will lash out and then quickly get over it.
Wow, I’m an exploder who blames others. I thought I was collection rock, I guess I just let them fly.
I am an exploder who shames herself! Fits me to a tee.. Need to work on that
I am an exploder who shames myself later. I thought this was me the moment I read your explanations of the four groups. This is definitely something that I really need God to help me with. It feels good not to stuff it, but in the end I don’t like who I am. Thanks for the blogs and devotions Lysa! They help me with my walk with the Lord daily!
I’m a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. I wasn’t surprised that this was my label. I can’t wait to get a copy of Unglued and learn more on this very needed topic. Thanks, Lysa, for being genuine and bringing this issue to light in your book.
stuffer who builds barriers
Stuffer who builds barriers- and some of them are pretty high!
we had this unglued for a womens group. very powerful!!!!! I found out that at times I am all 3 and now I see there are actually 4. Oh boy…better get in touch with God and figure out how to be the best I can be when things hit hard with struggles…the best womens group I have been to and a real eye opener
Stuffer who builds barriers.
exploder who hurts myself with my mouth.
Stuffer Who Builds Barriers – Unfortunately, I knew that before taking the assessment. =(
Stuffer who builds barriers. Fits me perfectly. I don’t like confrontation. I would rather keep to myself. I only let a few people inside my barrier. I’ll be using this book in my church summer Bible study–I hope I can learn a lot!
Exploder who shames herself….I would’ve guessed that or stuffer who builds barriers. It was tough to pick just one answer sometimes. Thank you so much for this post and your book. I can’t wait to read it !
Exploder who blames others. I really think it depends on the person and situation. I agreed with the assessment for the person I was think of, however, overall I tend to be a stuffer who explodes when stuffing has reached it’s limit. =(
oh it says a stuffer who builds barrier—
Yes, agreed but I will get to a point where it is too much frustration and explode then I will run and hide. sad but true. I would love any help and suggestions for being healthy the way God desires. It is definitely conscious work. However, currently being able to buy a book is not in the budget.
Thank you for your helpful emails. It helps shed light in my little world.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Stuffer who build barriers….pretty accurate
I am an exploder who shames myself later…. This is so true. I have shamed myself for years and usually re-live my faults over and over for days, months, years… I pray for change!
Stuffer who builds barriers – yup, I’d say that’s what I do.
I am a stuffer that collects retaliation rocks. With God’s help and with Unglued, I pray I will learn much and allow His precious Spirit to have His way to change me one day at a time with imperfect progress!
I’m a stuffer most of the time. When I explode I instantly feel shame at what I had done. I’d rather stuff it and send it to God or the journal than to go around apologizing for what I had just said.
Stuffer who build barriers
Yes, I definitely see this. Speech-wise, I tend to be very quiet, not saying much, just in general. I dwell on things a while, trying to see all the angles (I can’t but I try).
I just took this assessment, and yes its true. I am experiencing a stuffer who builds barriers situation right now, and its exactly how I feel. I feel hurt and pull away. Thank you for this assessment.
I can be/have been each at different times with different people. However, since beginning the “Unglued” study last year, I am happy to report “imperfect progress” in several relationships, especially with my Heavenly Father.
Exploder who blame others
Yeah…I would have to agree. With God’s help my desire is to bring my reactions under His control!
I am a stuffer and barrier builder. Before I took the quiz I thought that I was a rock stuffer, but I can see that I hold things inside of me and build walls. One day I will be perfect. Right? 😉
No. But I’m trying.
I want to deal with issues right away, but when I take time to think first, I often find it isn’t an issue any more!!!
Giving all my stress to God is something I am working on. I don’t want to “keep” it, as I know I’m not in control, yet I find I try to keep it and control it?? Not sure why I do this!!!
Stuffer who builds barriers
Wow, this was right on and is a real eye-opener. I know boundaries are necessary, but the key is “healthy” boundaries and not the barriers I have built blocking communication with those I love.
I’m shocked that I’m a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks! I thought for sure I would be an exploder of some kind. I’m ready to bring this to God. I’m ready to grow in his grace.
stuffer who builds walls
Stuffer who builds barriers. No surprise, really am enjoying your book. Thank you sharing with everyone out there. May the Bless us all
I am a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks. This is very true for the most part, although I often feel like an exploder at times.
I am a “Stuffer who build barriers”. This was tough for me because I kept saying to myself – well it depends. I find that I have a different “style” with my mother than I do my husband, co-workers friends. But overall, I guess I prefer to withdraw – much to most people’s assumption about how I would probably react.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. No surprise there 🙂
Exploder who shame themselves…hmmm, not what I thought I would be
I am so thankful to God for your Unglued lessons and workbook. I am a stuffer with walls and an exploder who blames. After writing down my unglued moments in your workbook; God has given me that “Holy Pause!” Praise to The Lord. I desperately need Him to now deliver me from my stuffing and avoiding further hurts. I need God’s wisdom to discern what is a true boundary versus another rock on the wall that supposedly “protects” me. I am learning to dig deep; and to to really Trust in my God Almighty!!! Safety is not in the absence of danger; but in the Presence of The Lord!!!!
Finding some deep weeds of bitterness, pride, judgemental attitudes and fear…
Just like God has supernaturally given me that Holy Pause; I do believe He will give me clear Biblical boundaries that will honor Him.
Alarmed, Jehoshaphat RESOLVED to inquire of The Lord…
Thank you, Lysa for sharing God’s jewels with the rest of us Jesus girls!!!
I got exploder who then shames themselves.
I agree with this but I can also be a stuffer who builds barriers. In fact, in the relationship I was thinking about I used to just stuff it and build barriers but I became desperate to make things better and tried to take care of issues as they were happening and then just move on but it only made it worse.
I am an explorer that shames themselves. I can agree with this mostly but there are some specific relationships in which I am a stuffer that shames themselves.
I received the exploder who shames themselves. I can agree with these results. In my marriage I will say what I need to say with no regard to what it might make my husband feel, in turn he gets even more angry and even more in his flesh then he was at the beginning of the argument, my actions prolong the fight and then after I have apologized 500 times for every little thing I did wrong its almost as if I continue to punish myself for days after the fight. I pray Jesus works this out of me to help our communication so we can avoid the fight all together and then my personal flogging can end! Love the Blog thank you!!
I was exactly what I thought I would come out- stuffer who builds barriers. I have been so afraid of disappointing people my whole life and then of them leaving me if I did disappoint them. This has definitely been a struggle for me and one that I pray that will let go of me before I pass it on to my little girl! I ask for prayers in this area!! Thanks Lysa for listening to God and writing what He puts on your heart.
What a beautiful and interesting name you have! I can so very relate to your concerns and I have to tell you, I have worked VERY HARD to help my children be better communicators than I am. Have faith and keep praying! It can be done. In fact, sometimes, my children tell me more than I’d like them too. 🙂 Oh well – no happy medium, I guess!
I am a stuffer who builds barriers, and I am not surprised. I’ve known this for a long time, and I have to work hard at putting myself and my feelings out there. I am easily emotional, and I do not like putting that face out there for others to see. Don’t like to call it what it is either, but… a pride issue it must be.
Sometime I keep mad and not talk. I don’t know why I do that. When my husband gets mad he is quiet and he knows that upset me so I don’t know I do that. Praying for the Lord’s help today and always.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. So true but I definitely see all 4 types in myself depending on who I’m dealing with.
Stuff who builds barriers…I need this book and would love to hear your insight on all of this!
I am a little of all, but constantly trying to better myself with each passing day. I have just become a widow with 2 small children and I need my unglued moments to be less frequent. My whole life has been turned upside down and inside out, not to mention my kids. God is watching over us, I am only trying to hear his voice over everything else.
I am a stuffer who builds barriers. I thought of my relationship with my husband when I answered the questions. And I would have to say that does sound like me. I am looking forward to reading this book!
Stuffer who build barries. I cannot handle confrontation. I will walk away from whatever situation and allow everyone to walk over me to avoid standing up and facing what I believe in.
Lysa I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. 🙂 & it true everything that was said it true!! Rhis is awsome. Thanks lysa.
I handle things well during the confrontation but have a meltdown after the “episode” is over.
I am an exploder who shames themselves. I need this book! I don’t want to hurt others with words. 🙁 Thank you for showing this to me! I am not going to let myself be labeled in the name of Jesus!
Exploder who blame others…I want to tell you that I was at the WOF conference in Las Vegas, Nv and you were amazing. You are beautiful, smart and really funny a great combination for a christian women. I spent most of the conference crying because I know I am the Exploder who blame others (mostly my husband) and I want to change. I am a baby christian about 16 months into this walk and I am changing sslloowwllyyyyy! I appreciate your daily posts on fb, they encourage me and help me. Thank you for being a part of my walk with Christ. 🙂
I think your assessment of me is right on. I do not like conflict and would rather just pull away. Sounds like I could really benefit from your book.
I am a stuffer who build barriers
exploder who shames myself…I’m not surprised; this is something I’ve been praying for The Lord’s help, to grow and change for the better! thank you Lysa! God Bless you!
A stuffer who builds barriers. It depends on who I’m with – there are some I feel safe with & will be okay. My sister is explosive & she was who I was thinking of. If I’d used someone else in mind, my answers would have been different. Would love to read the book!
Exploder who shames themselves.I know I would get something different everytime I use a different relationship.
I got stuffer who builds barriers. Which I believe to be true but most of the time I blame myself for all that goes wrong in my relationships . I never believe that I am good enough so when conflict arises it must be my problem and then work to fix myself. I always seem to fail there how do I fix that.
im the same way but i do explode because i feel like im being attacked then after i explode i blame myself for the whole mess i always tell myself theres something wrong with me that i need to fix.
Stuffer who build barriers, thats me and I knew that after hearing you speak at Catalyst Dallas last week! Thank you Lisa for opening my eyes!
I am exploder who shames themselves. So true. Exactly what I thought I would be. 🙂
Stuffer who builds barriers … thats my result,
but sometimes I explode and spew horrible words (depends on the person/relationship)
that I regret and feel ashamed of …
I seem to be multiple types of unglued 🙁
Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks…
I know I am a stuffer and I do not stand up for myself but rather look down and walk away from confrontation. My husband lashes out and then says I am done talking to you.
I think this just reinforces my retaliation rocks although I keep those ‘rocks’ inside.
im a exploder that shames i totally agree
I’m an exploder who shames herself and also agree. Ugh!!
I have kept it in dangerously to long concerning my Daughter’s life, now I do not know what to do.
I am trying to help my daughter, she is feeling so bad and I can not help her. I have been praying for 8 years through her divorce. She has 4 children the youngest was 5 at the time and the oldest was 13. Now the youngest is 13 and the oldest is 20. The x has made a position in life of money all the time my daughter supported him and family for 14 years all the while he had a very abusive personallity. Then after 14 years they divorced. He took charge of the children and has showered them with everything they want. All the time telling them all these years how horrible their Mother is. Now they are so angry with her that they all are so hateful towards her and treat her awful. She has stayed active in their lives every single day all these years, never missing anything. The toll is breaking her down now. She is so sad and loanly. She and her family live 8 hours away from me. she works long hours to make a modest pay. He gives her nothing. She does all she can for them she is with them everyday taking them to all their activies. If she can not do something they scream at her. I am not sure if God is hearing all my prayers after 8 years. Things have got worst. Beyond what I could have imangined. Her hurt is getting the best of her. I am afraid for her safety. I do not know what to pray anymore. My heart is braking with hers. I am feeling as lost as she is feeling.
I have just started your book Unglued. It is an answer to prayer. I need reign in my emotions especially the worse reactions that I have with my family- who I feel safe with. I thought I was the only one who struggled with this. It seems that everyone always has it together and that I am the only one with the problems. I can’t wait to finish the book.
exploder who shames themselves……..always thought I was a “stuffer” who wallowed in shame…hmmmm……
“Exploder who shame themselves” I didn’t think that was what I would be… hmmmm>? Maybe I didn’t consider the questions carefully enough. I find I get shut down quickly and don’t feel I get to present my side in a situation.. then I just hold it in.. thinking to myself that my feelings aren’t valued/important… thus continues the cycle. 🙁
“Exploder!” I took the Assessment, but I didn’t get the results for some reason; however, I know from my answers that I am an “Exploder who shames themselves.” I say what I think, and then I feel just awful about how I hurt the other person. I then feel so guilty that I feel worse than I did originally. The hurt from whatever I exploded about, and then the hurt I caused the other person. It is definitely a journey to work on, but I know God is there with me and I try to seek comfort in Him to NOT be so quick to explode, but to clearly think about what it is that bothers me and try to communicate in a rational, not irrational, way with the person who is frustrating me! It isn’t easy, but I know I can do it with the tools God puts in my grasp such as “Unglued.”
Stuffer who builds barriers: I just get so tired of dealing with the same situations over and over constantly. I don’t like to roll around in problems. I want to work out the problem and move on with life and it is very hard when others don’t seem to want to move on. It’s makes me an unhappy person to deal with for my children.
I couldn’t read my results of the assessment quiz.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers. I recently heard you talk at Camp of the Woods about how your reaction determines your reach. Your teaching in that seminar has been some of the most personally meaningful teaching I’ve received all summer. Thank you so much for your ministry!
Stuffer who builds barriers … this is a perfect assessment.
iam truly an exploder who shame themselves.I say things in my anger that I later regret.pls I need prayer concerning this issue.
This surprized me in the fact that it was right on the mark. I am a stuffer who builds barriers. I knew some of these things about myself but not how to fix them. You said to focus on one person while answereing them and that was my husband. I love him very much but I don’t know how to talk to him at times. Its at these times that I become the stuffer who builds barriers. I never seem to know how to address issues we have. He also seems to be the one who is always right. Once in a while he will admitt he is in the wrong, but rarely. I want to please him and so I don’t go any farther with the conversation. I need Jesus to help me with this.
I’m reading Unglued. Amazing – I just dropped a loved one off at the Dream Center LA yesterday. Thankful for Matthew Barnett and his willingness to remain in the flow. Thank you for sharing your experience with the Dream Center. Praying for God to do a mighty work. I’m really enjoying Unglued – it’s just what I needed at just the right time. Looking forward to the women of Saddleback studying your book this fall. <3 Bless you – Darci
Exploder who blames others….not surprised, but have been trying to work on my weaknesses.
I am a stuffer who collects retaliation rocks although I tend to keep that all on the inside and use them to mentally justify my feelings. I’ve prayed so hard to deal with my relationships the right way and still struggle. I can remember every hurt from those I love even when I don’t want to.