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The Day My Fragile Identity As A Mom Melted

April 8, 2013

She had the most angelic sweetheart lips. And eyes blue as the most inviting of oceans. Blonde ringlet curls. Chubby cheeks begging to be kissed over and over and over.

Little hands that instinctively curled around my finger while simultaneously melting my heart.

Pure sweetness wrapped in a pink blanket.

And then came the day this little creature pursed those lips, gripped the toy in her hand, tilted her blonde ringlet pigtailed head and screamed, “Mine! Mine! Mine!”

It was a small red toy my friend let her borrow. My friend who was much more organized than me. She had brought along toys and baggies of cheerios to keep the kids entertained during our coffee date. The plan to use this toy as temporary entertainment had worked beautifully. Until it was time to go.

I could feel a burning flush of embarrassment rush from my chest to my face.

Of course my friend’s child was shining her halo with one hand while happily handing over her yellow toy with the other.

Awesome.

“Mine! Mine!” My daughter screamed as every eye in the small java joint stared at me.

I pried the toy from her hand, thanked my friend, and hoisted my kicking and screaming daughter out of the wooden highchair. And then in slow motion I watched in horror as she knocked my paper coffee cup from my hand and sent it careening across the floor.

I felt my fragile identity as a mom melt into the puddle of spilled coffee. What happened to my angel? My beautiful, beautiful daughter was…. not so angelic.

It’s been many years since that day in the coffee shop.

But oh how I wish I could go back and sit with my little inexperienced mommy self on the drive home that day.

I would say, “Your daughter is a child in need of a parent. She needs to be taught. And some of your best teaching opportunities will come when she puts her sin nature on display. Don’t fear or fret or feel like this is some sort of failure on your part. Her outside demonstrations are an internal indication of her need for guidance. So guide her. Love her. And always remember to be the parent. Not her friend. Not her buddy. The parent.”

That daughter is 19 years old now. And is an absolute delight.

But growing her up wasn’t always easy. There were many more times when she put her sin nature on display. And each time I had to choose to be the parent.

It’s not easy to be the parent. It seems less and less popular to tell kids no.

As parents, we need to set boundaries. Teach our kids the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations. Not cater to their every whim. Draw lines between what’s appropriate and inappropriate for language, entertainment, and the length of our hem line. Model manners. And what it looks like to seek a life of godliness, not just religious activity.

Glory knows I’ve been so imperfect with all this.

But holding the line on being the parent, even when done imperfectly, is good.

And will be worth it.

Even in those seasons where you feel as if they’re doing everything the opposite of what you’ve taught them. All that parenting is in them. And the fruit of that will emerge one day.
Even when you feel like your children are doing everything the opposite of what you taught them, all of your parenting is in them. It will be worth it! www.lysaterkeurst.com
Be the parent.

That’s what our kids need so desperately.

And be encouraged my sweet friend… you’re doing better than you think you are.

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73 Comments
  1. Julie Sunne

    I’ve learned the same lesson, Lysa. I’m sure there are many parents who are where you and I were many years ago and need to hear this encouragement. The world screams, “Be there pal!” But our children have enough pals. They need someone who will hold them accountable and help guide them to be a reflection of Jesus.

    Reply
  2. Esther

    Man, being the mom can be hard at times, but doing the right thing, even when it means you’re the bad guy is best for them in the end. It’s even worse when you realize you are the child and God is your parent, doing the same with you, ouch!

    Great post!

    Reply
  3. Lana Lyday

    Thank you so much for this post!!! I’m a mom of a 5 year old, and I constantly fret about whether I’m doing things right, and walking that fragile line between being too permissive and too authoritative. What I appreciate the most was the final comment, “And be encouraged my sweet friend… you’re doing better than you think you are.” It felt like this was just for me – and is such an encouragement to my heart. Thank you!!!

    Reply
  4. Torrie Arnold

    Thank you for this post today, there was more than one instance in the past week where I have felt like an absolute failure. My sister and my mom were much better mommie’s than me. My daughter is 2 and really good at it. She is our first, some days I feel like I got this mommy thing down and most other days I’m ripping my hair out and trying to hold back the tears as I feel utterly useless and helpless and like I’m doing everything wrong. Funny thing is my sweet angle seems to know when mommy is having one of those moments and she will want me to pick her up so she can wrap her little arms around my neck.

    Reply
  5. Aimee DD

    I’m 19 weeks pregnant with my first, a girl. I know my day with this will come. I hope that I am prepared to remember these words – I am in charge. She will disobey. I will make mistakes. And we will both grow. Thanks for words of encouragement!

    Reply
  6. Mindy Young

    Wow! Thank you for this today! It’s been a rough morning with a teenager! You blessed me and helped me get my mind focused rightly!

    Reply
  7. Kelsey

    Thank you so much for this post! As a mom of a one year old, who is beginning to test his boundaries, this could not have come at a better time. Every time I have to tell him no or just redirect him, I can’t help but feel a little guilty. I need to remember that I am his parent, and it’s my job to make sure that he is not only safe but learning to be a respectful and disciplined child of God! Thank you again for your message! God bless!

    Reply
  8. Dalal

    Oh how I needed to see this today!

    Thank you for continuing to speak words of wisdom through your blog and books! It was such a joy to see you when you were in Memphis at Hope! I’m so thankful that I was able to see you speak and minister!

    Reply
  9. Brittany Brown

    Oh, oh, oh! Thank you for posting this! I just had an instance this weekend where my child decided to display her sinful nature for all to see. The hard part is not dealing with my child, but worrying about what others think, do, and mumble under their breath. This includes people that are very close to me (i.e. my mother) Lord, help me to NEVER judge a mama by the way her child is acting! It does not always reflect what she is trying to instill/teach her child! Also, the Bible says to “TRAIN” up a child. Training is a process. It is not a one time deal. So, we should not be surprised when we have to correct our children multiple times for the same offense. After all, doesn’t our Heavenly Father also do the same for us? 🙂

    Reply
    • samantha

      wow you are so right! I struggle with worries of how people are saying or looking. But if you think about it if we dont teach them they think it is alright. Thanks Brittany

      Reply
    • Kim Corkern

      Oh yes he does!! Every day!! A Work in Progress!

      Reply
  10. Rebecca Kraft

    Lysa, as a mom, I can probably speak for many moms when I say, “you’re not alone!” It’s been years for me but I learned one tip as a young mother that my children loved everyone else’s toys versus their own. I’m not sure what the marvel was with these toys but we seem to melt when our kids melt. I wonder why that is? It doesn’t matter their age either. Mine are now 18 and 16 and when they melt I allow them to melt and then we have “our time” and come back together. But that’s not easy for little ones. I kept a list of toys my kids loved playing with and for a reward or special occasionally their birthday or holiday. When I see or hear these meltdowns in the store, it reminds me that I survived those moments and the older they got and I could turn into a teachable moment it got easier to handle. Teachable moments help us train our children. We will always have teachable moments with our kids no matter their age. They are in a season and how we learn and grow from the season. You did the right thing and as time goes on your children will appreciate those teachable moments and will grow from their learning experience. It’s ok for us moms to have our melting moments! Have you done Chip Ingram’s Study of “Parenting Effectively in a Defective World?” If not, may I encourage you and your followers to do this study. This study helped me learn how to parent effectively. I believe it will help you and other moms. Thanks for your transparent and honest.

    Reply
  11. Pamela Tyrrell

    Thank you so much for this today – I SO needed to hear it! My oldest is 18 and in the midst of asserting her desire for I dependence. We have loved, encouraged and guided her throughout, yet she is bucking our (and God’s) direction. I needed to be reminded that discipline is hard, but so necessary, and that she is firmly in His grip.

    Reply
    • Kim Corkern

      Hang in there honey! I was one of those bucking 18 year olds. And here I am back on the right track! Keep going strong and don’t back down. You got this!

      Reply
  12. Jacqueline

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m a brand new mom and often think “how will I ever be stern enough with this adorable little face to say no?” – !!! – I will surely keep this with me years down the road! blessings!

    Reply
  13. Holly @ the belle mere

    I have learned and am still learning that parenting consists of doing the hard, right thing when you really, really want to take the easy way. Thanks for this post.

    Reply
  14. Kimberly

    How beautiful and perfect on the 20th birthday of my middle daughter (we have 3!). How I’d love to go back and talk to my young mommy self…love that. As always, Lysa, you touch the hearts of mommies everywhere!

    Reply
  15. Kristie

    Thank you for this today. I’ve been struggling with my 7 year old son lately. Most of the time I think to myself “just give in, let him have X”, but then the sensible side kicks in and says “giving in will just make it worse next time”. And it’s never easy, but sometimes I feel like all I say is NO. And then ensues the “you’re a mean Mom”. I can only hope that being the mean Mom now, serves for respectful, productive members of society later in life.

    Reply
    • Cassie

      My husband gave me a coffee mug that proclaimed that I was the meanest mother in the world. On it was a long story about not letting the kids eat candy for breakfast and not letting them stay up past their bed time… It concluded with the adult child having never been in jail and being a productive member of society, because they had the meanest mother in the world. My kids were little when I got that mug and I spent most of my day diciplining them and guiding them. When ever they complained about what I did I proudly exclaimed that I did it because I was a mean mom. Sadly that mug broke a few years ago but now when I make a decision that my kids don’t like, they now say I am a mean mom, with a smile and a roll of their eyes knowing that I really do have their best intrest at heart.

      Reply
  16. Carissa D. Huffman

    Lysa–

    Thanks so much for providing hope for a mommy of a young child. I am not a “young” mother–I am nearly 45 with a newly 4 year old son, but I do still wonder if I am doing things wrong. The same little boy who sat perfectly at the 2 hour Easter play for someone else’s church (WHEW!) or listens to Grandpa all morning becomes a screaming, hitting monster the next day, or refuses to do number 2 on the potty.

    I know God has a plan for my son, and I just want him to become the godly man he will need to be someday. (That feels awfully far away some days…)

    Blessings!

    Carissa in eastern Iowa

    Reply
  17. Penny Lane

    What a great post to read the day we start potty training my 2nd. She’s 14 months, and incredibly smart. Which has it’s pros and cons. Right? Ah the joys and frustrations we’ve had today! Many memories (some I wish I wasn’t going to remember) being made today. I’m sure they’ll make for great blog post material of my own! 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Reply
  18. Rochelle Davis

    Oh, I so needed this today. I was an only child, never babysat any little children, and still find myself beating my head against the walls some days while mothering two little boys on my own. Thank you for this encouragement.

    Reply
  19. Jill

    Lysa,

    Your post made me burst into tears. I have a 9-year old daughter who is a magical combination of sassy and sweet. She accepted Christ as her savior last November, and acts perfectly everywhere else but home. She has ADHD and I have struggled with her for years because of her stubborn personality that always wants her way (don’t we all). It seems that no amount of discipline, punishment, grace, loss of priviledges, rewards, etc., has been the one thing that will convince her that she needs an attitude adjustment. I have talked until I am blue in the face about honoring God by honoring her parents and having the right heart attitude, but nothing changes. In somes ways, I am dealing with my brother’s recent diagnosis of acute leukemia better than my everyday struggles with this child. And I don’t know what else to do. Sigh.

    Reply
    • samantha

      Just hang in there Jill. I found a email to me and was reading it about adhd children . It talks about different ways to deal with different issues. If you would like to look it up it is called Life Script Healthly Advantage.They have alot of different stuff on there too like cooking too. Hope this helps you and your family out and prayers go out to your brother.

      Reply
  20. Candace

    Wow! I needed to read this today! My 2 year old little boy is testing every ounce of the me! My eyes welled with tears when you spoke those words of wisdom! Discipline is hard and loving him through the tantrums and fits are even harder! Thankful for a God who is guiding me in every step but it is not easy! Thankful that He knew I would read this encouragement today!

    Reply
  21. Carol

    This is the time of year I dread when I see so many church girls in their tiny bikinis and short shorts, posting their innocent selves on Facebook and Instagram. I took the unpopular hard line of not letting my girls wear bikinis. I think there are modest two piece bathing suits, but I felt if I compromised on this, they woudl always be pushing the boundary.

    Last year my daughter had a swim party for her 12th birthday. All of the girls but one were in modest bathing suits, but one of my good friends lets her 12 year old who looks 16 wear a string bikini. The girl didn’t even want anyone to see her skimpy bathing suit because she noticed all of the other girls were modest. When a standard is set, people notice, even if they do not agree.

    I am not trying to judge girls that wear skimpy clothes but it saddens me that they could have dire consequences as they age and become adults. Many Christian girls on Facebook and Instagram have on fewer clothes and Julia Roberts as a street walker in Pretty Woman.

    Let’s set the standard a Christian moms with our girls instead of pushing the boundaries. Yes, somethings may be ok, but it is always a slippery slope.

    Reply
  22. Jennifer

    As a soon to be first-time momma, I appreciate this good, Godly advice. Thank you!

    Reply
  23. Sari Kamppi

    Thank you. Just what I needed right now.

    Reply
  24. Leigh

    Parenting is soooo hard. I am thankful we all made it through the teenage years! Our daughter is now 20 years old and I could not be prouder of her. My verse I went to, time and time again, was:
    Psalm 126:5 Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
    That was so encouraging to me- to know that every battle and every tear will be worth it. So for anyone having a hard teenage daughter day- hang in there! You will survive 🙂 and it will get better

    Reply
    • windi

      Lol leigh…I am having a hard teenage daughter dsy in double time. Thank you for the verse you shsred. Thank you for everyone elses encouragement and responses….I am reminded I have many sisters in the same boat and who need one another’s pryers enzyme’s encouragement. Blessings to you all.
      ~ windi

      Reply
  25. windi

    *prayers and encouragement…sorry for typos.

    Reply
  26. Missy

    This lesson is one I’ve needed to be reminded of. Right. Now! This sweetgirl of mine, her buoyant and happy little personality used to be so incredibly sweet. It’s harrowing when they present themselves, in public, completely opposite of how you’ve taught them to in private. Sigh… God is merciful and gives me grace – I need to remember to dole it out both to myself AND to her.

    Reply
  27. Ashley - Embracing Grace

    I love this so very much! I’m in the “coffee shop” stage now and your words have been a comforting reminder that this stage is important and that it’s just a stage. Thank you! 🙂

    Reply
  28. M.J. Eldridge

    What a great little article. On so many levels!

    Reply
  29. M.J. Eldridge

    What a great little article. On so many levels. Thanks!

    Reply
  30. denise

    yes oh yes our culture insanely needs this wisdom now. we are allowing technology to parent this generation. I am a young mom, 3 girls and 1 on the way….my current “middle daughter” craves boundaries and rules even though she is the 1st to break them. she always snuggles a little closer much later after the fact (could be hours or even days) of a serious reprimand to her curiosity driven ‘testing limits’. she is 7 and every day is hard – I just pray I am still alive to see her come out the other side! I ultimately know she is God’s and he placed her into my care of a reason – I just wish sometimes I was God, not to change anything just so I could simply understand what he saw in me that knew I could handle someone so smart!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Elise Daly Parker

      Oh Denise…You’re so in the thick of it. Keep on keeping on. As the mom of teens and twenties, your hard work will pay off!!

      Reply
  31. Debbie

    Thank you Lysa for this precious reminder that the seeds of parenting I’ve sown, even when not evidenced by behavior, will bear fruit. I was blessed with your teaching and encouragement this past weekend in Minnesota – thank you for tears and laughter.

    Reply
  32. Elise Daly Parker

    Moms of Teens just need to hear this every day. And I guess Moms of little ones too…but that seems so far away now. We’re doing better than we think we are. And we will make it through. And we must persevere…or reach out on the days we can’t. Because if we do, “when they are old they will not depart from it.”

    Reply
  33. Cassie_aka_Micahs mom

    I absolutely love reading your blob posts. My son is going on 2 and he is my one and only child. I am raising him as a single parent and it can be so hard. I try not to give in to his baby blue eye’s, but sometimes fail miserably. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to be “the parent”.

    Reply
    • Cassie_aka_Micahs mom

      Blog…not blob….lol.

      Reply
  34. Christi Christman

    Being the Mom seemed like the hardest job I could have: ’till now, when I am the full-time Nanny for the Grandkids, and my Dad comes over a couple times a week to see the greatgrandkids- it is a very mixed blessing, to “corral” all the generations, with the issues of grandkids and a Dad with some dementia and still enjoy these quickly-passing joys of family that SO few women get to have: I thank God several times a day, and then pray for help to not mess up, usually just as often. God is so good ( and has quite the sense of humor, too.)

    Reply
  35. Susan

    Lysa,
    Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty in your posts 🙂 Parenting teenagers is the most challenging task I have ever attempted and your words today encouraged me to work through this season with my 17 year old daughter!
    Whew!! Big challenges in a harsj world :/

    Reply
    • Susan

      Harsh! 🙂

      Reply
  36. Michelle

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. Thank you! 🙂

    Reply
  37. samantha

    Oh this was a great writting. I have 6 children . 16,15,13,9,6,and almost 5 on the 24th of April. It is very stressful at times because I have been in a mode that I have been questioning alot of things that I have thought my children. To be honest with you I have been trying to be a friend to them and I know that is wrong . Reason beening 4 of my children are from a previse marriage and its who can do better if you know what I mean.This really opened my eyes to see how blinded we become and how things people say can help if said with love. I started when I was 17 and have learned and still am learning.

    Reply
  38. Kathie

    Oh how your post today touched my heart! Our 17 year old has chosen to reject most of what we have taught him as right and true. Somedays it just breaks my heart. This post made me realize, yes we have made mistakes but we have also done what God has asked us to do. Love them no matter what and one day he will return to his roots and us (hopefully).
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Reply
  39. Kim Corkern

    God is so Good! He spoke to me through you today! My daughter (18) stood up against music that uses profanity and I applauded her in a post on facebook. Since then, I have been a target of mocking, accusations of self-righteousness and accused of judging. That was not my intent or words at all. Just that I was proud of her for taking a stand. Parenting is hard… and so rewarding when you see those fruits, even if others don’t appreciate them.

    Thanks Lysa!

    Reply
  40. Donna

    Oh my stars. I thank God that He led me to your post today. Thank you Lysa for the encouragement. It is so easy to be mired in the details with my daughters who are 3 and 5. The 5 year old is very bright, amazing, selfless in good moments, but incredibly dramatic, selfish, and demanding… unfortunately she is a mirror of my personality so much so that I realize that God is teaching me about myself quite often through her actions – thanks for the reminder to be the parent, and love and guide them in a way that glorifies Him! Its all about perspective. The 2 y/o is a free spirit so far… another day and another story for her! Thank you again Lysa!

    Reply
  41. Erica Simon

    Oh Lysa. God is totally speaking to me through you today. My 4yo daughters nickname is “hurricane”. I pray regularly that her very strong willed personality will be used for great things as she grows. There are more days than not though lately that I need a reminder of just how small she is & that its my job to teach her. So thanks again Lysa.

    Reply
  42. Annemarie Vinci

    I had a face-reddening moment on Sunday during church! I’ve been a mom for 10 years and I still beat myself up. Thank you for this reminder. It nearly brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your encouragement!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  43. Angie

    Thank you Thank you for this encouragement today.I really needed it. You are truly a blessing!!

    Reply
  44. Chris Carter

    Oh Lysa, I just love this post. There isn’t a mom out there that hasn’t had many of “those moments” with their toddlers to teens. Oh how I would love to hear more about how you “parent”-ed your beautiful daughter. I know we could all learn from you!! BTW- I have to include a post, that I recently shared on a Christian Mothering site. It’s what came to my mind. http://motheringfromscratch.com/2013/04/01/moms-finding-what-works-for-you/
    And one more thing!! (As if we are catching up on lost time…cause you are my fantasy BFF) My women’s group finished Unglued… and because we love you so much and of course the book, I went and bought ten copies of What Happens When Women Say Yes to God for our next book study! So love you and your writing!!
    Okay- will sign off for now, but will text ya if I remember anything else! 😉

    Reply
  45. Beth

    I think it is a direct quote from you Lysa, but I seem to remember a FB status update that said “Don’t raise you child to be a good child, but to be a God-fearing adult” which sticks with me. I like that. And it makes sense. As a God fearing adult, it somehow makes raising a child slightly easier because I at least have some sort of idea how to do it!

    Reply
  46. Kate

    Needed that – this very day.

    I actually felt sorry for my three wee ones today – that they got stuck with ME as Mama. Bless their hearts.

    Getting some time away for a few hours now (thanks to a loving husband!) – seeking His voice and letting it drown out my own 🙂

    Good, good words. Thank you a million times.

    Kind Blessings,
    Kate 🙂

    Reply
  47. Laura

    AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  48. Nadia

    Thank you!!! This is reassuring for me as a young mother.

    I have many moments like this with my sweetest charming boy, who just turned 4. I say that because, he truly has a way of getting to peoples’ hearts, and to strangers at that! Now he would stomp his feet and pout whenever I say no to him. And I’d initially turn to myself many times as the culprit, now how did he learn this? What have I shown him?… I’ve totally forgotten about that sin nature especially that it has now somehow ‘shamed’ me as a mom.

    And so I thought, this is where the enemy comes in to attempt on doing a double damage– through that sin nature through my boy and the feeling of condemnation through the parent. The enemy will always try and make us feel inept as parents to cripple us in one of the greatest purposes we have from God –discipling them and raising them to be the world-changer God created them to be. God bless!

    Reply
  49. TN Lizzie

    I recently read that God gave me the children He did to help me become the Mother He wanted me to be… AND God gave my children the mother He did to help them become the children He wanted them to be.

    That. staggers. me. God gave my girls me, because I am the best-shaped tool in His hands to make them more like Jesus.

    Choosing to be the parent is not always easy. I get so frustrated when I hear myself whining at them to stop whining. Hmph – at least they are acting their age! LOL

    I know I have value, because He trusts me to guide and teach three souls. Wow! This changes my perspective. Thank you for this post, from another mom dripping coffee kicked in public.

    Reply
  50. ranae' campbell

    My best friend who is going through a divorce. She loves the beach and coffee.

    Reply
  51. Kelly

    I would give this to my oldest daughter. She is 22 and such a hard working young woman.She will often have 3 jobs and will be graduating with her BA within a year. She is so wise with her money that she doesn’t have any left over for extras, which is a shame because she loves fashion, The Lord, and Starbucks! I would love to bless her with this gift. 🙂

    Reply
  52. Joanne

    Hi Lysa and Hope,

    I came over from Encouragement for Today after reading your daughter Hope’s devotion. I read down farther on the page and realized that the April 8 devotion is meant for me today too. I have raised two grown children, ages 23 and 18. Long story, but we now have adopted two boys who are a sibling group who are now ages 2 and 3. All the lessons I learned with the first two, on some days, seem to fly right out the window. These two boys are like starting over again. So, all that you said in the story is what I need today. I’m reading Jesus Calling and today talked about thanking the Lord for everything so He is able to work, so I have been, with the temper tantrums, screaming, fighting. Then along comes your post. Thank you much! Your daughter’s post applies too for you in that you are ministering right where you are, and the Lord is letting me know I am ministering right where I am. We would not have undertaken the adoption unless the Lord had made this more than abundantly clear we were to go on this adventure. And I am not young at all. So thank you both! (I am not entering the giveaway, I just wanted to let you both know you spoke to me)

    Blessings,

    Joanne

    Reply
  53. Julie

    I would love to give this gift package to my 13 year old daughter. She’s a beautiful, loving girl and loves God, yet doesn’t have a lot of confidence. I would like her to open herself up to all the possibilities there are if she would go full in & trust God with everything in her life. She has a great influence on her friends and I can’t wait to see what He accomplishes through her in the future.

    Reply
  54. Ashley Buckland

    Thank you for this encouragement! I found your website after reading a post you had on the MOPs webpage. It was the story of my 18 month old and how I feel everyday as her mom, that I am failing as a mom and failing her. But you have helped me see that I need to guide her “sin nature” and that I am the mom God made for her. Thank you.

    Reply
  55. Jamie

    I needed this today. Thank you. I have one of those sweet angels that has turned into a demon. He is 21 months and I don’t know where he came from! LOL! I just don’t know how to parent the anger and the fits. But I will be the parent. Thank you. I also really enjoyed no more unglued mamas. The 5 day thing. Very practical and I am trying to live it out in my parenting. My other boys are 3 and 4 so lots of toddlers…sigh…

    Reply
  56. Deanna

    Lysa~ I so enjoy your posts and your writing style. We just finished UNGLUED in our Bible Study, and it was a gift from God. I am really struggling with keeping it all together. What I wouldn’t do for a sit down with you! You are such a wise Godly woman, and I would really like your advice. There is so much going on in my life right now. So much hurt and anger. I am the SAHM of 4 children 5 and under. If that wasn’t stressful enough, I am also the wife of a spiritual, emotional, sexual, verbal, and mental abuser. I am losing hope. I am trying with all my might to save my marriage, and be the godly wife God wants me to be, but I am failing. I don’t know what to do, or pray anymore. I feel stuck. I love Jesus, and my husband, and my children, but I don’t know how to keep going in this marriage. I can’t lose my children. Can you offer me any words? and I would appreciate ALL of the PRAYERS I can get. I have been to emotional to pray lately, other than to say LORD, He’s Yours!

    Reply
    • Theresa

      Say “Lord, I’m yours”! I’m praying for you! I’m in a very similar situation. Don’t know hope…. our God is capable of miracles. Your Sister In Christ 🙂

      Reply
    • Amanda

      Deanna, I saw your comment on Tuesday. I’ve been praying for you and your family. I understand the anguish and brokenness that abuse can cause. You’re doing the right thing by reaching out to other Christians for support and drawing closer to Him in Bible study. I will continue to pray for you.

      Reply
  57. Jennifer

    I would bless my childcare provider. I am so fortunate to have a woman who loves the Lord providing guidance to my daughter when I am not able to be with her.

    Reply
  58. lindsey

    Wow, so good and I needed this. As a mom of 2 boys, age 2 and 4, I have to reign them in a ton. They are strong willed and exert defiance all day. I battle it and stay consistent the majority of the time but it is so hard and exhausting. I know they are going to do something amazing for God though so I dig my feet in and continue the journey God has called me too. I love being a Boy Mom.

    Reply
  59. Sara Frank

    Hey Lysa,
    Just wanted to let you know how much I love all you have to share. I led a bible study the last 3 months using your book “Am I Messing Up My Kids?” It has been life changing for all of us.
    I started a blog this month called “Gone Like Rainbows,” which I named after a section in your chapter, “What Will My Kids Remember Most?”
    I post every Monday. I quote something from you almost every week 🙂 and wondered if you ever have time to read one of my posts – and like it – if you might share it on your Facebook page or blog? 🙂 Blessings to you, and thanks for being a blessing to all of us 🙂

    Reply
  60. Rachael

    Thank you, Lysa!
    I always appreciate your honesty and openness about your experiences.
    I got a chuckle as I was in a similar situation (a few times!) today with my son, age 4. He’s my fourth child and I still struggle with these situations. Thankfully, the time I’m thinking it over isn’t as long as it used to be! 🙂

    Reply
  61. Lisa Pepper

    I have a question for Lysa about adoption and I’m not quite sure where to ask it. Hopefully she’ll find it here. I also have biological and adopted at an older age children. How do you handle a family pictures when you have TONS of your bio children at infancy and love to look at those and NONE of your adoptive children as infants?

    Reply
  62. Amy Marchiondo

    Thank you Lysa for being a Godly women who gets it! I feel so done every night and wonder if I’m anywhere close to being the Mom/women God has called me to be. I need encouragement, wisdom and lots more patients, so keep the blogs coming! Thank you!

    Reply
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