We don’t have to let the one who broke our trust break us. Process the pain of unfair situations you’ve experienced with daily devotions and prayers that will help you fight against bitterness and resentment with my free resource, “When the Person Who Hurt You Got Away With It.


The Cussing Thoughts

January 11, 2013

The sky was blue. The snow crisp white. The mountain slopes full of choices to be made. Which run will we take?

A “blue run” is what we tackled first.

This is how slopes are labeled by the ski officials. The officials whose job it is to inform skiiers exactly what they’re about to get into. Yes, those of us crazy enough to strap slick glorified popsicle sticks to our feet and careen down a mountain, need to be informed.

Green for beginners. Blue for intermediates. Black for the advanced and those who think they are advanced until they get too far to turn back. Bummer.

No, we would be smart with this skiing thing. We wouldn’t overestimate our abilities. We wouldn’t be tackling the black runs. But blue? Yes please.

So blue it was. The sky and the run. The perfect skiing adventure.


The moguls.

We’d been on several lovely runs down the same slope when it was suggested we try a different lift. Taking us to a different slope. Hunh? I am emotionally allergic to different. I like to discover something that’s good and stick with it. Why mess with what’s working? With what feels good?

Um, no thanks.

“It will be great,” they insisted and headed on over to the new lift.

Either I was going to follow along or be left behind. That’s when I had my first not so nice thought. I call them cussing thoughts. It’s not that I was actually saying cuss words. No, more like really negative thoughts that I wouldn’t want to be broadcast out loud. You know what I mean?



A new slope it would be.

Things started out well. But then we hit this place that made the designers of said slope giggle when deciding just how to make this run interesting. Have you ever heard people say something like, “Everything was going fine until we hit a little bump in the road”? Yes, well, try a steep mountain full of nothing but bumps. Like the kind that could careen you off the side of the mountain. Or snap your legs in half.

Oh I kid not.

As fear coursed through every fiber of my body, my mind filled up with all things negative and derogatory.

What’s so ironic is just an hour before I was helping my friend Laci learn to ski. She was terrified. I was confident.

“You can do this,” I assured. “Don’t look down the mountain, and think you can’t get through this. Look across the mountain. Just ski from side to side on the slopes and before you know it you’ll be safely at the bottom.”

I hadn’t really taught Laci how to ski. I’d taught her how to think. And when she got into the right mental mode, she learned to ski.

She had to resist the cussing thoughts so she could choose the corrected thoughts. Because dark thoughts are like a black run down the mountain. Once you get on the black slope of cussing thoughts they’ll take you down to places you don’t want to go.

Now it was my turn to apply my own advice. And I failed miserably. I made that run so much more difficult by letting the cussing thoughts come in and bring me down.

How like life.

Every day we’re going to hit bumpy spots in life.

Someone will do something that rubs you wrong. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

A situation doesn’t go the way you hoped it would. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

You don’t get that opportunity you felt you deserved. Cussing thoughts or corrected thoughts?

A cussing thought can become a corrected thought by asking three questions:

* Is this thought in line with truth?

* Is this thought in line with who I am?

* Is this thought in line with who I want to be?

God has taught me how to think using His truth but I have to make the choice to apply what I’ve learned.

God has called me a child of God but I have to choose to live this legacy.

God has challenged me to grow in my knowledge of Him but I have to choose whether or not to display this growth through my actions.
I have the choice to display growth in my faith through relationships and circumstances. www.lysaterkeurst.com
(We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” 2 Corinthians 10:5.)

The sky was blue. The snow crisp white. The mountain slopes full of choices to be made. Which run will we take?

P.S. Before I sign off… I’ve got some great news! On January 29th at 9pm EST I’ll be hosting a live, FREE Webcast with Women of Faith’s Sheila Walsh! We are so excited to be able to share with you a little more about what we’ve learned about these “cussing thoughts”. So mark those calendars, invite some friends over, and tune in, right here at www.lysaterkeurst.com – more details to come on how to sign up so check back soon!

You May Also Like…
Introducing my new book …

Introducing my new book …

Hi friend …  I wanted to be sure you were among the very first to know about my new book (drumroll please!) ... I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment...

God has you on assignment.

God has you on assignment.

In case fear has told you something differently lately … I want you to know this truth: God has you on assignment. You may take unlikely paths or experience seasons where you wrestle with doubting your purpose. In the harder moments, you might question God: Why do...

When life demands too much from you

When life demands too much from you

For the girl going to bed tonight feeling … Weighed down by fear and worst-case scenario thinking. Consumed with anxiety because of situations you don’t know how to fix. Stressed out, maxed out and worn out by all that’s on your plate right now. Hold on to this...

  1. Nancy L.

    As usual, I needed to hear this today. Thank you, Lysa for being real. You are loved & appreciated.

  2. Leigh

    The title made me laugh. Oh, how I feel you on this! Sometimes our own mind can be own worst enemy. Thanks for the reminder to choose the better, corrected thoughts instead of the cussing thoughts 🙂 lol

  3. Hope @ The Flourishing Tree

    “I am emotionally allergic to different” — love this line! But even more, I love your way of telling us to change our cussing thoughts to corrected thoughts. Thank you!

  4. Mary Anne

    I love how your phrases stick with me! I loved the term “retaliation rocks” now I’ll hold on to “cussing thoughts” 2 little buzz words that will pull me back on track, especially when followed with “Jesus, Help!”

  5. Bridgette

    Hi Lysa,
    I’ve read a couple of your books now…Started with Made to Crave (LOVED IT),then “randomly” came across “Unglued” in the store one day. The cover caught my attention because it reminded me of Made to Crave and I realized it was your new book. So, at a time in my life that I desperately needed to hear what the Lord spoke through you, I got it. By page 4 I was sobbing…and snotting….and nodding my head and had to put it down. I’ve since finished reading the book and the Lord has used it and changed my life…several times. I am currently in the process of re-reading to pick up more nuggets that I may have missed the first time.

    All that being said, I subscribed to this blog and have enjoyed the posts immensely. Today however, I’m pretty sure you’ve crawled inside my head…again and know exactly what I’m thinking and how I’m behaving. I had the cussing thoughts again this morning as I was harried trying to get myself and kids out the door and on time to school. Then I pull in the parking lot at work to discover that someone has stolen my parking spot again, and my spot in the refrigerator was taken again as well (small office). So, when I saw this post and read about the moguls I chuckled, and smiled and nodded and accepted the grace that God sent with your message.

    Thank you for being real.

  6. Cyndi Knowland

    I love your phrase “cussing thoughts”. Just as damaging as out loud cussing and just as much a choice. I love this reminder! A day is just a day until I choose to make it good!

  7. Claire

    Just love the skiing analogy–in part because I love to ski but also because it is a very fitting analogy. Those cussing thoughts hold us back, get us in trouble whether it’s skiing, golfing, parenting, work, marriage–you know! Pray for you often–how are your ears?

  8. Melody Holmes

    I just discovered your website Lysa and I am so grateful I did! I love your devo’s on Proverbs 31 and your current one was very timely for my life! Now I get to read them on your website!
    Thank you for all you do!

  9. Heather

    Such a perfect analogy and EXACTLY what I needed to read today. Thank you 🙂

  10. pat

    Oh thank you for sharing the lessons you learned. We need to curtail some of our thoughts when they get out of hand. Sometimes I just want to call someone a brat-brain, which I feel is what they deserve. Then I realize that it is not a good Christian thing to do. I am working so hard to please God even through the frustration that I feel. Through this trial, He is accomplishing His purpose.

  11. Sarah

    I really like the example you gave of your friend – how she learnt when she was in the right mental mode. May God carry on renewing our minds every day.

  12. Tracy

    Oh Lysa you make me laugh! I am so reminded of my own behavior.
    You are forever reminding me that we are all human!!
    Thank you – for being so open, honest and nailing it once again right on the head!

  13. Marjie

    My goodness….if my thoughts were played out loud for all to hear sometimes, I’d be mortified! But what’s sad is that, although nobody else can hear it….I can hear it and God certainly hears it.

  14. Jeannette

    SO EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED…SO EXACTLY WHAT I DO…But, it is usually myself I’m cussing.

  15. Janet

    I really have these a lot of the time. Thinking that these thoughts are not so bad- but realize its destructive to me and me alone. I really need help controlling my thoughts.

  16. Stacie Dorris

    I had sent a response to one of your previous blogs regarding fasting negative thoughts, a concept introduced to me by a PWOC sister in a devotion. I was challenged to fast negative thoughts towards my spouse. Just try a day. It was challenging. Also, in yesterday’s Our Daily Bread, (Jan. 10th) reminded me of your previous blog on having a new view. The name of this devotion is, “Spiritual Sight”. It’s about a guy who was in a Cuban prison for 14 years. There were no windows. He imagined a waterfall where the door was. He says that vision kept him going. Check it out. It’s short and sweet!

    • Nika

      This sounds like a great event.. I get tolatly motivated by motivational speakers. Talking to new people is so outside my box. I get all red and want to pass out…. Good for you for walking up and saying hi..

  17. Jill Beran

    Thank you for the laughs, but Lysa thank you especially for the Truth and encouragement this post provides. Glad to know you survived the skiing trip and trust your legs were not snapped in half!!

  18. Anita Owen

    I like this – and trust me I have been having “cussing thoughts” way too much lately. You know I will be asking myself those three questions. Thank you. I am so looking forward to the FREE Webcast with Women of Faith’s Sheila Walsh! I have enjoyed all of the other ones that you have done too!

  19. Lauren Hardy @ Making Life Sweet


    Thanks for putting what we all struggle with into perspective. It’s so easy to let cussing thoughts take hold of our minds. But God has showed us a different way, a better way to handle these moments!

    Take care,

    Lauren Hardy

  20. LuLuB

    I love this! My husband and I have had some throw-downs while skiing! He cusses and I have cussing thoughts! Ha! Does anyone know of a ladies ski retreat? That would be fun!

  21. Juli

    Oh boy. Nothing like hitting me straight in the head with a two by four. So needed. Thank you.

  22. Betsy Hunter

    I love the way you write, God has truly gifted you! And, don’t mind what say either, you’re like the friend whose not afraid to tell me what I I really need to hear. Thanks.

  23. Julie Sunne

    Amazing post! A must share–and a must apply.

  24. Heather Goyette

    What an appropriate name for those negative thoughts; cussing thoughts. It’s scary how quickly you can go down a slope once you start with those kind of thoughts! I loved the skiing analogy too. Thanks!

  25. Lois

    HI Lysa…thanks for hitting home, yet again! I am wondering if there are any Women’s conferences happening in the near future that you might be participating in. I am in need of a retreat to figure some things out and am so inspired by you and Proverbs 31 Ministries. My life is upside down and I need to take some time for me….any information you could share would be appreciated!

  26. Ashley Byrom

    Just finished reading Unglued – thank you for writing it and be SO real! It spoke to my heart!!! I am praying to God that I can start to make changes of imperfect progress today!! I wish had read this book years ago!!! I feel like I could have avoided several sleepless nights 🙂 I have a family blog and shared it with my friends and family! I hope they all read it too!

  27. Rose

    Once again you are honest with us! I appreciate your thoughts so much. Please continue to guide us, you have a real gift for helping and inspiring others to follow Him. My New Years Resolution is to print each day from Prov 31 so that I can reread them as devotionals. I have told sooo many about your books and this site.
    Thank you again for your guidance and honesty.

  28. Lori

    Oh my, you have amazing timing…cussing thoughts have taken my brain hostage today! As always, thank you for sharing Lysa. I really needed this!! 🙂

  29. Denise Lancaster

    Oh my goodness! That hit home in more than one way. So many times I have cussing thoughts that begin my day, and it just goes downhill. Thank you for the reminder and the three questions to ask. By the way, I chose one of those blue hills a couple of years ago, New Years Eve 2010 to be exact, and I didn’t fair so well. Lost it at the top and tore up my knee resulting in knee surgery. Ironically, I had no cussing thoughts that day. I was just trying to figure out how I could have been so stupid as to go down a blue hill when I wasn’t ready.

  30. brooke

    Hi lysa.I’ve been reading your book made to crave and it already has been changing my life. I know this is random but you said you read every comment so I decided to share with you a miracle by God today. I was reading your book and all my life I have been having trouble trusting my identity in Christ and how valued I am to him. I was reading last night and remembered how Christmas this year I prayed for snow in Texas, might I add and he answered it, and I never even thanked him. While reading your book I remembered that was a time he was showing his love for me by producing a miracle of snow in Texas and I didn’t even thank him. Anyways I went to bed and this morning as I was making breakfast I look outside to see snow. I was so amazed and to me it meant the promise of hope, promise that God is listening to every prayer and he loves me uniquely. I was so consumed by it and thanking God that I forgot about breakfast (which is a big deal) and I realized God answered another prayer and became my portion of comfort this morning.

  31. Penny

    Lysa I got your book Made to Crave and I am trying to put God over food. I am getting bigger and bigger and have no self control. I weigh 250lbs and can’t seem to stick with eating right. Hopefully this book will help. I don’t have many friends and spend a lot of time by myself. Do you have any suggestions for me?

    • Toni Landrum

      My sister I will be praying for you don’t give up remember with God all things are possible

    • Jeannette

      My suggestion: WALK wherever you can, whenever you can. I am alone a lot as well and because of that, defeating thoughts are often, especially since I do not have anyone to bounce my ideas off with. For that reason, read the Bible Every Single Day, so you can read His perspective. I have an iPad that has kindle. Every day, I read a chapter in the Amplified Bible and it’s explanation in Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible. You can buy them in book form too, probably, at http://www.amazon.com. Penny, walk! It gets you out of the house, it is great, simple exercise, it gives you fresh air and fresh perspective or thought/prayer time. I am on Facebook with a friend poem of sorts as my profile if you want a friend.

  32. Toni Landrum

    I started listening to you on K love and decided to read your blog and I’m so grateful for your ministry keep on sharing God’s Word we all need to hear it!

  33. Michelle Mitchum

    Just started reading Unglued it has infected our people at church. Several have read it and what an eye opener!

  34. Stephanie

    I always enjoy reading your blog:-) Thank you….for the big day, just make her feel special and make the hug real.

  35. Shannon

    Great Blog! The situation reminds me of one when I was in high school, when my best friend and I went skiing with the youth group… cussing thoughts are exactly what was on our mind. And unfortunately still creep in… I’ve become much better through the years to control the “out loud”, but it it much more difficult to remove them from the brain entirely…
    “Work In Progress”
    Thanks again for the honesty!

  36. Chrissy

    I just had this very same confession with a friend about the sneaky ‘cussing thoughts’..thanks! i needed it!

  37. Dana

    Hi Lysa:
    I am leaving this comment here on this post so that I can be in touch with you regarding your book Unglued. I know that your really busy but I couldn’t find an email addy to ask you the questions that I have about this book and teching series. My ladies group and I wanted to do your video series on this book to help us make wise choices during raw emotions. I am excited because I have been wanting to do this series for some time and now have the blessing of my pastor to do it here at my home. I do have some questions regarding what I need. I am ordering the dvd with participants guide for myself, but I was wondering if each person coming needs both the book and the particpants guide? I am wondering if what the videos share is the same material in the book. If so than we need only get the partipants guide right? There are monetary restraints for some of the ladies in my group, myself included, when it comes to purchasing all of the books you provide for this series, but I was wondering if it was okay to just get the dvd and the participants guide and will it be still enough to use and have a sucessful outcome? I am a member at CBD and will be ordering there. I am hoping to get things ordered this week and hopefully have my order back to start the bible study on Feb. 07th. So any help in this matter would be appreciated.

  38. Becky W.

    The Lord works in amazing ways! I subscribe to your posts via email and for some reason I did read this one until just right now and it was the perfect time and the perfect words for today. I have a black cloud hanging out over my head. It’s been there since last night when my 7th grade daughter did not play at all in the second to last basketball game of their season. Not. at. all. The anger is eating away at me and I had resigned myself to just having a bad day today because of it. I tried talking myself out of it to no avail and was unwilling to “let go and let God”. Thanks to your post from 12 days ago, the cloud is slowly lifting. Thank you so much Lysa!!

  39. mary haymon

    I thank the Lord for this today!!!! Since March of 2012. I have had 1 health problem after another. There r days when I feel like giving up and more days the long I stay sick!!! But I praise God that I am here and have a wonderful husband and 2 little boys that love me and are seeing me through the ups and downs everyday!!!! This last 2 weeks have made me realize howthankful I am for my husband. He has not griped 1 time about anything I have asked for. Thank u Lord for my Life!!!!!!!

  40. Lisa Wheeler

    My husband of 30 years left me as I was caring for my aging parents. He felt neglected. I have struggled to find the good in this situation. Oh I will never regret what I did for my parents (both of whom are deceased now) but I just can’t believe this is God’s will for my life. He has since remarried within a year and a half and I feel like I have been left to pick u the pieces. Please pray for my journey. Thank you.

  41. Jeanette Douma

    Lysa, This is the first time I have read your blog. I am so blessed by what you wrote as well as what others have written. Lisa your blog is uplifting. I needed to read some uplifting things today. Please keep writing!!! Tell the misters just to make their wife or girlfriend feel special by doing something to knock her socks off.

  42. Lori

    It took me a couple days to be able to view the webcast, but…me, too.
    My 10 year old forgot his spelling words, so we asked a friend to email them to me, so he could study them. Guess which email I opened right after your webcast? Look at the word list he’s studying:
    I’m mean – SERIOUSLY? Did that just happen?
    Thank you for your courage. I have great aspirations to grow, and with help from Proverbs31 I’m never at a loss for where to start. I don’t think you’ll ever know this side of heaven all the love you shared for His glory. You done good, sister!

  43. Carol

    It is great that your ‘cussing’ thoughts are not actually cussing. But I think if others of us where to be honest we would say that our cussing thoughts are real cusses.
    I am not proud of it at all. I do not want to be like that and thank the Lord it is not all the time. I just don’t want folks to think they are the only ones who do this as thoughts or words that leave our lips. Let’s get real, it happens. it ain’t pretty and it does not please the Lord. “May the Words of our mouth and the meditation of hearts be pleasing to You oh God”

Let's Stay In Touch