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Problems, Problems

January 4, 2013

I sat at my desk truly feeling the desire to cry. And I’m not a crying person. But a problem I was trying to figure out led to another that led to a whole can of worms being opened. As the list of problems grew so did my anxiety.

I put my head on my desk and willed myself to keep breathing. Don’t get emotional. Stay logical. Pray hard. Gather smart people around you. Get advice. Pray hard again.

As I walked through my problem, I started really studying how other people going through problems were reacting to them. Some were reacting in ways I wanted to emulate. Others made me bug my eyes out and shake my head.

Watching others from the vantage point of my own struggle made me see several categories of problem reactors:

* The sky is falling reactors- These people panic. When a problem arises they feel an urgency that if things aren’t fixed immediately then they are doomed. They talk about the problem in extremes using words like, “never,” “always,” “huge,” and “urgent.” They want to pull others into their panic and seem to thrive off of the adrenaline of the moment.

* Eeyore reactors- These people shut down when problems arise. They want to avoid dealing with the issue at hand. They would rather navigate around a problem than solve it. Eeyore reactors hope someone else will figure it out or that the problem will just go away on its own. They let the anxiety of the problem pull them into a funk. Then they resign things will probably not get better anytime soon. Misery loves company so they invite others into their pity party.

* Thinking reactors- These people see a problem as an opportunity to think rather than an obstacle that will hold them back. They want to bring solutions to the table instead of just talking about the issues. They manage the stress of the problem by researching possible solutions. Thinking reactors thrive on inviting the wisdom of others who have experience in dealing with this type of problem.

I’m sure there are other categories of reactors as well. Maybe I’ll expand this list as I keep thinking about this. Maybe you want to help me think of others you see. Let’s chat about this in the comments below.

But as I look to have some new views in 2013, how I react to problems definitely makes the list.

I want to be a thinking reactor.

I’ve been amazed what a difference it makes to wisely choose our reactions to problems. I do have a choice. And what I choose not only affects me but those around me as well.
I've been amazed what a difference it makes in relationships to wisely choose our reactions to problems. We do have a choice to move in a healthy direction. www.lysaterkeurst.com
The sky is falling reactor magnifies a problem. The Eeyore reactor feels paralyzed by a problem. And the thinking reactor solves a problem.

Our choice.

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76 Comments
  1. Kate Gallaway

    Hi,
    Your thoughts resonate with me and I liked the blog on how you were going to look at problems differently. I have been trying to figure out how to articulate what I want to work on and it is very similar. When someone is unhappy with me, justified or not, I own it, feel it and can’t shake it. I think I react along the lines of sky is falling, although I don’t thrive on the adrenaline, really wish I could shake it. Intellectually I know I need to let it go, even spiritually know the same thing. Thanks!
    Kate

    Reply
  2. Suzy

    I’d like to believe I’m the thinking reactor in problems that are really stressful, but not life altering.

    But as for the life altering situations? I find myself hanging out as Eeyore for awhile, crying out to God on my bathroom floor. Usually by the end of one of those sessions, praying and reading my Bible, I’m more surrendered to His plan, whatever it may be.

    Reply
  3. Erika

    Rats! I’m such an Eeyore – paralyzed by every problem! Then I wait until its a Category 5 problem and panic! I want to be a thinking reactor too, it’s not so easy to do. Thanks for this Lysa.

    Reply
  4. Heather King

    I hope I’m more of a thinking reactor with perhaps a little tendency to shout about the sky falling. The thing is, I feel this compulsion to think through possible solutions and consider fixes. I NEED to make it work on paper. I’ve spent many a middle of the night with my pen and pad of paper scratching out budgets or making lists of ways to attack the problem. The extreme side of this, of course, is that I need to see it all manageable within my own control. Instead, I need to step back into the healthy side of this—-seek counsel, be open to opportunities and new ideas, think instead of react with my out-of-control emotions, but also remember to trust God and not “lean on my own understanding.”

    Reply
  5. Debbie

    Lysa, the thinking reactor will also experience the life Christ came to give us (abundant) in more fullness as thinking is part of the renewal process — more acurately “truthful thinking”. This allows us to see the “problem” with greater clarity and accuracy and “thinking truthfully” will point us to the One who is the problem solver, who KNOWS the answers, who may even be keeping somethings hidden for His glory and our good. As well, this allows us to be more flexible and open to solutions (and even waiting) with less anxiety.

    Thank you for your ministry to us. The message God has laid on your heart and is working out in your life is so very essential and fundamental — but is one that we don’t hear a lot of but need to.

    Bless you,
    Debbie

    Reply
    • Debbie

      P.S. I am a recovering “sky is falling reactor” but God is at work…. 😉

      Reply
  6. kathy....

    Most times I am a thinker and want to get the problem solve….NOW… and for me that is wrong. I should BREATHE, and first invite God into the mix, and than BE STILL and hear where he leads. The thinker/reactor in me sometimes lead to solutions outside of Gods will……. not so very good…..but my heart is teachable and God’s Grace does abound….. And I PRAISE and thank him for that. (smile)

    Reply
  7. Latosha

    I attend to fall in all three categories depending on the situation. I react like “the sky is falling” whenever I break a finger nail or spill something like grape juice on the carpet. I know it’s sad but it’s true. The “eeyore reaction” occurred when my husband’s truck engine blew and we had to shell out $$$$ to get it repaired and also when he had no income coming in for months. I just wanted to disappear because it felt like a living nightmare. I reacted to the “thinking reactor” when an unexpected bill came in and we had to pay it. That one was 5 digits and eventhough I was disappointed that the debt wasn’t cancelled like we had experienced in the past, we both still trusted that God would provide a way and He has done that. So yes, I had to take a look at how I handle things and realized that I am working on becoming a thinker. Blessings!

    Reply
  8. Cindy

    Thank you for your words today. They really spoke to me. I think I’m reactionary and I would much rather be a thinker.

    Reply
  9. deborah fultner

    I used to ask other people their thoughts on the problem and solutions. Sometimes I wanted approval for my answer. If the problems were big enough, I prayed about them. That was then.
    Now I pray first. Sometimes I look in the Bible and in devotions,blogs websites depending on the nature of the problem. God always takes me to the right place.
    Blessings,
    Debbie F.

    Reply
  10. Terri

    I could be a little of all three types, but I’m trying to be a “Go to God first” problem solver.

    Reply
  11. Kim Bell

    Hi Lysa,
    Your email caught my attention when I saw the title, “Problems, Problems.” Today I have been deep in scripture and have been focused on how to deal with problems in life and how God can allow us to turn our crisis into opportunity. One message that I read today talked about Joseph and the crisis in his life and how each period of his trial in the book of Genesis opened a door for opportunity. It really gave me a new perspective on how God prepares us to deal with the most difficult circumstances. And… if our attitude is right it allows God to do His will for our life, just as He did in Josephs life. This past year it has been very apparent to me that God has used adversity in my life to get my attention. But honestly, keeping the right attitude and reacting wisely has been a difficult task sometimes. The one positive thing that I have experienced through my crisis and problems is the opportunity to reach for a deeper understanding of how to deal with problems. Through fasting,prayer, and reading scriptures I have found peace in the most unsettled days. God is working all things out for my good (Romans 8:28) and He is in control of my circumstances. Sadly many times I forget this in the midst of breakdown. In Genesis 37:1-36 I am reminded though how Joseph’s attitude encompasses opportunity and with a little bit of work on my part and help from the Holy Spirit I can experience an amazing gift. I really believe that your email was sent for a reason. Your discussion on “problem reactors” gave me just a little more insight and confirmed that I also want to be a “thinking reactor.”

    Blessings to you and thank you for all that you do!

    Kim Bell

    Reply
  12. deborah w.

    I love all your stories and examples from your best worst thing!! I am like Debbie I am a recovering “sky is falling” responder…actually reactor is more appropriate but I have miss spoke so many times, I am finally learning to weigh what I want to say with how it will affect my relationship with whomever I am needed to respond. God is so gentle and patient with us even when we are not with ourselves! Thank you for your minustry to all of us, you are very encouraging!

    Reply
  13. Bonnie P.

    Here’s how I see myself:

    Small but annoying everyday problems – Overreact, sky is failing, somebody please feel sorry for me kind of reaction.

    Big, unsolvable problems, like chronic health or financial issues – Kind of goes back and forth between an Eeyore sort of reaction, where I get pretty depressed, and feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the problem, and the avoid thinking about the issue by throwing myself into all of my other responsibilities mode. It’s sort of a survival instinct. Life continues in spite of the problem, and if I focus too long on the really big, bad problems, I can’t function. As a wife and mother of three, I just have to put my energy into the solvable stuff.

    Thank you for your ministry Lysa!

    Bonnie

    Reply
  14. deborah w.

    I love all your stories and examples, you are indeed a Great encourager…Thank You Lysa!!

    Reply
  15. Brenda

    I am definitely a sky is falling reactor, and you’re right that all it does is make things worse. My whole family hates when I react that way, especially my husband. All reacting like that does is get everyone mad at me, and not willing to help. I definitely need to learn to be a thinking reactor.

    Reply
  16. Amy

    While I identify myself as a thinking reactor, I don’t know that this is always beneficial. When a problem comes my way, I immediately fall into “fix it” mode and I heavily research all possible solutions, seek the wisdom of others and weigh the pros and cons. However, pride often sneaks in and I find that I am depending on myself to find the answers instead of looking to the Lord.

    Lysa, thanks for writing this…I know this is an area the Lord is calling me to work on…

    Reply
  17. Carri

    I think I’m a “think reactor” with a twist. I prefer to figure out the problem so that I can try to prevent a repeat. When others want to “panic react” and drag me into it, I try to calm them down and help them see it’s not the end of the world. Then I try to help them figure out how to best approach an answer or give how I would try to ease the situation. It is very upsetting when they look at you like you have 3 heads and tell you that you just don’t understand.

    Reply
  18. Cindy Whitsett

    I’m a quazi-thinking reactor. Quzi, since I don’t invite the input of others. When a problem arises, I immediately try to think of several solutions, and try to implement the best one in my opinion. It may sound good on the surface, but I react with my prideful solution and often without consulting our Great God — whose solutions don’t always seem to make sense to me at the onset. Waiting. My nemesis. Still trying to learn the verse, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

    Reply
  19. karen

    Hmmm. Wish i was any of those choices. As unhappy as i am to admit it, my go to strategy is often about who I can blame thereby releasing me of any thought or ownership of the real issue which many times is not about the situation at all. I am more okay with not being proud or wanting things to go the way I want them too or be as perfect as i want something or someone to be but my nemisis is to default to blame or tearing someone else down more often than i would like. Thank God for those “theys” in my life that see me thru the eyes of grace. I will call that choice being a blame reactor.

    Reply
  20. Patti

    Is it possible to have two of these reactions going on at the same time? On the outside, I am the thinker, presenting possible solutions in an intelligent, coherent manner. On the inside, I am definately an

    Reply
    • Patti

      Sorry… an Eeyore reactor. I am screaming inside to just crawl in a hole and pretent the world doesn’t exist… to go for the dark hole and never come out because is just isn’t getting any better, ever. I think I need to work on aligning my inside with my outside and being true with God and others. HUMMMM…. thanks for pointing this out! 🙂 Much needed conversation!

      Reply
  21. Ann

    What i want to be is a praying reactor–one whose first instinct is to pray before doing anything else. My tendency is to be a thinking reactor, but sometimes Spock’s logic doesn’t allow me to see how God is moving in the situation.

    Reply
  22. Marcie Joy Brown

    I now have even more insight into just how different my husband and I really are.

    Thanks Lysa!

    I’m kinda thinkin I’m a knee burner reactor in that I spend a lot of time burning holes in my carpet trying to take my mountainous list of problems to Him, (even if I’m the biggest of them all…).

    However, if I’m truly honest, I’m also quite the menopausal reactor these days and all I can say is, watch out world and Lord, do have mercy…

    Reply
  23. Judy Behm

    I want to be a think reactor, that’s the advice I give my kids, anyway. When they have a problem it is like the world is coming to an end!!! My answer to them is calm down and take it to God. Do I follow my own advice? I try, some days are harder than others. It is easy to dwell on a situation. That just makes the problem worse, makes it much bigger that it really is. Sometimes buttons get pushed and I fly off the handle. I don’t like myself much when this happens, but it does bring me back and I know what I have to do; Get on my knees and take it to the Lord!!! The calm I feel is amazing and I know I am forgiven.
    What I have found that helps me is my time with the Lord. I get up extra early and read His word, and pray. My whole day goes better, not just better, but there is peace. I can handle what happens because I know who is really in control. 🙂 I still have a long way to go, but I know I have a wonderful Father guiding me and helping me 24/7.
    Peace and Blessings
    Judy

    Reply
  24. Sheri - Motivation for Health & Fitness

    I use to be a reactor and get caught up in other peoples issues and turmoils at work. To the point I would find that I was actually joining in their conversation! I hated this about myself! I was not being a Christian nor was I being the person I wanted to be. I still find myself on occasions saying things that I didn’t want to say or getting caught up in the moment.

    My goal for 2013 is to reduce this anxiety or negativity about myself and become a better Christian.

    Reply
  25. Jewels

    I agree with Ann. Lately I’ve had no choice but to be a praying and seeking reactor. Praying first then seeking godly counsel then praying again. Thinking about it the whole time then just giving it completely over to Him. The problem is, I keep trying to take it back.

    Reply
  26. shelly

    I do try to solve problems, and I’m good at it. I will reach out, get help, gut check, make plans, read books, etc. But if I’m truly honest about it, I usually only start to solve problems after I have pitched a fit, yelled at my child, or in some other way made the problem worse. So I’m a “make it worse then better thinking reactor?”

    Reply
  27. Beth Courtright

    Hi Lysa!
    Here’s a REAL problem solver for you. I read your blog today and boy do I have a solution for you Girlfriend. Instead of racking your brain trying to think of a solution to your problem why not pray to Jesus and let HIM be your problem solver. Since He’s all knowing it makes perfect sense to me. If I sound like I’m coming off sarcasticly I’m very sorry. It’s just plain ol’ common sense is what it sounds like to me. That’s all. I really do hope your new year’s going great for the most part though. Always remember that Jesus loves you and me too.

    Reply
  28. Carrie

    I am typically the voice of calm in the midst of life’s many storms. However, I believe dealing with stress is much like dealing with grief. There are steps and levels involved depending on the severity kg the situation. I can always remain calm on the outside because I may not know the outcome, but I know who holds the outcome & He will use it for good.

    Reply
  29. Lou

    God is in control. He plans everything for good. It’s not your job, so let Him do His work in you.

    Reply
  30. Robin

    I tend to go between a thinker and Eeyore. However, I have a hard time with the sky is falling kind of people who as questions that they do not want the answer to or listen too. Struggling with compassion today.

    Reply
  31. Beth Strub

    I’m in my mid-50’s and I just figured this out. I take a deep breath, not say a word to others or in my head to myself and just let it lay for some time. THEN, say, “Thank you” I have a hard time with those 2 words. Amazing what looks you will receive back, what words come take from others, but say no more ! I have an ageing parent and it works wonders.

    My goal for 2013 is to smile, laugh and be kind. And, to you, “Thank you”

    Reply
  32. Shelly Cantrell

    It depends on the situation:

    I’m definitely a “thinking reactor” when a major crisis occurs. The enormity somehow causes me not to panic and I’m able to think straight (people always said I’d make a good nurse/doctor).

    I’m usually not an Eeyore reactor. I actually enjoy solving problems.

    But I’m a big time “sky is falling” reactor when it comes to work and some personal issues. If one of my clients’ sky is falling… I can easily adopt that mentality. It doesn’t take much for me to panic/get fed by adrenaline when somebody needs something. I also tend to do it when I feel overwhelmed… in the worst kind of way.

    Okay, I’ll just admit that I’m having one of those times now with some issues… I have been frettin’ and I need to know that the sky IS NOT falling ; ) . Somebody say a prayer, please.
    : )

    Reply
  33. Martha T.

    I thought that you post was quite good! I probably have done all of the different problem solving methods you mentioned,but would like to do more thinking and praying about them vs. the other methods.

    Reply
  34. Susan

    There are those who talk to everyone else before or instead of taking the issue to God. I don’t know, maybe those are the “People Talker” reactors rather than the “God Talker” reactors….

    Reply
  35. Theresa Clark

    I have been all of these kind of reactors, depending on the situation. But I have added one to my repertoire – the praying reactor. Now, if the situation allows it, I am trying to not immediately react, but to take a deep breath, step back and pray, asking what God would have me do in the situation. Almost everything that happens can wait for a few seconds, if not minutes or longer so I can wait for His assessment. But if I must immediately react, I’m putting my trust in the Holy Spirit to guide me as I’m praying hard through what He’s leading me to do. It’s not easy to react the right way. I do still revert to my natural style (which is dictated by the situation at times) but I’m hoping that no matter what, I will talk to God through it all and be able to change course to react His way!

    Reply
  36. Mary E. "Mimi" Hodge

    Praise God for your insights and discussions on “imperfect progress” in “Unglued.” It is very helpful and I will probably wear out more than one copy . I have been listening to my oldest grandson (32) and his problems with the mother of his daughter (they’re weren’t married) and sending him to the bible every time I turn around as well as praying about it. I particularly like 1Thessalonians 5:16-18 and urge him to incorporate those instructions into his life. After reading “Unglued” I told him to run, not walk, to the nearest Christian bookstore and buy a copy for himself. I think it would be wonderful if you could do some editing so that men would read it and learn, too. We’ve all seen the men in our lives come unglued as well as the women, including ourselves. God bless you for your work. Keep it up.

    Reply
  37. barbara rice

    I’m definitely a thinker! However the down side is that thinkers may solve it but I tend to stuff anxiety. I have to continually refresh scripture on anxiety. No one knows I deal with this because it always sneaks in at the wee hours of the night when I can’t be hands on to solve the issue. Sometimes I see where God says ” see there was no need to worry” or ” if you would just sit still and know that I’m God…” So I think a prayer reactor coupled with a thinking reactor is a good combo…minus the anxiety.

    Reply
  38. Melissa Taylor

    I am all of these depending on the situation! After reading this and reading the posts this will be something I work on 2013!!!!

    Reply
  39. Becky Brooks

    I’m probably a thinker reactor with a little of the other 2 mixed in. Since I read your Unglued book, I’m different than I was.

    Reply
  40. Angie Stewart

    Hi Lysa:
    I can be both a “sky is falling” reactor and a “thinking” reactor depending on the situation and the person that it involves. If it is with someone I love deeply then I am both at the same time, the sky is falling, but I can stop it, I just have to figure out a way. If its a work problem, then I am just a thinking reactor.
    Thanks for all you do – your books and your ministry have helped me immensely!!!!
    🙂 Angie Stewart

    Reply
  41. Nicki

    I am a combination sky is falling/Eeyor reactor. Trying to learn to pray more but it’s hard because when a problem comes, I feel this barrage of panic hitting me. How does one become a thinking reactor?

    Reply
  42. Deb Podgorny

    Hi Lysa! I believe a thinking reactor goes hand-in-hand with Psalm 46:10…Be still and know that I am God. In the stillness/thinking mode is when we hear God’s voice. Within the other reactors is noise. In the noise we maybe trying to solve things on our own, bringing/dragging people with us, settling nothing because we are unable to hear from the One who wishes to speak; but will wait until we seek His voice. If only we would be still and ask\pray and fully trust the answer will be given in the stillness not the noise.

    Reply
  43. Linda Barnes

    Now that I am older (57) I find I am a thinking reactor most of the time. I have been all of the above in the past. I have to agree with Angie Stewart. It depends on who it involves.

    Reply
  44. Angel

    Can there be a deep clean your house reactor? I tend to get overwhelmed cry out to God and clean clean clean witj my christian music blaring along with praise or prayer. If I cant cope well, I focus my energy into something effective and try not to think so much. I then do this technique of closing my eyes and opening my bible to whatever God chooses 😉 while saying God show me the answer…. he has yet to fail me. A ser of twins, 2 deployments, multiple moves

    Reply
  45. Angel

    Multiple moves later and he still seems to gather me in all my Army wife pieces together and mend my heart through this method! :)))) I just got your book and dvd set for Christmas and I am excited to start it!!! Blessings!!!!

    Reply
  46. Kathy

    I think I am a combination. First I freak then I think.

    Reply
  47. Laura Hegemann

    Unfortunately I have guilty of all three, but praise The Lord for his love and grace. God has been dealing with me on this and making me aware of the folks I choose to be around. Thank you for the wise words, needed as I start out the new year. Blessings

    Reply
  48. Jess

    I love this! I think I’m about 80% “the sky is falling” and 20% “thinking.” I am working towards being more of a thinker. I’m getting so much better! I think your book (Unglued) has actually been a huge part of that! So, thanks!! 🙂

    Reply
  49. Jossie

    Lysa – Have you ever thought about writting a childrens book about this?? It sure would be great to share this with my children in a book that they understand with pictures. I am sharing with them but they don’t really get it. Jossie

    Reply
  50. Teresa T

    I spent decades working in IT…where problems are puzzles. In my home life for large personal problems, I can become the Scarlet Character from Gone With the Wind… “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

    Reply
  51. Karen Conolly

    While you have made some valid points I might add that some problems do not go away regardless of how you react. This past year has been very difficult as my husband has developed a muscle disease. It is something that we live with every moment of everyday. He is in a wheelchair and is able to do less and less. Life is a struggle for us.

    Reply
  52. Melanie Rose Schroeder Saccomanno

    I think we all have found our souls all over the place depending on what season we have found ourselves enduring. I use to be more of a reactor, then God got a hold of me. Yet, our personalities I have been studying,. play a huge part in how we react. I have had an internal struggle my whole life with my spirit and my flesh. I just didn’t really know in my younger years it was the gentle whispers to my heart because I doubted myself so much

    After going through six years of such loss and grief and running to God trying to find Him, I feel He has given me many personal epiphanies to keep me following after Him.
    I have had to allow my broken heart to be vulnerable yet accountable to the Holy Spirit and I have had to choose to obey Him or not. I haven’t always liked God’s plans but He is Boss.GOD. He is the “I AM” and He is the rewarder of them who diligently seek HIM.

    So with that promise I will not quit by God’s grace but I must allow my body, my internal struggle, my adrenal glands, a chance to heal from such emotion and trama I have had to face. I am learning to let go of the anger that roars inside. I may now not respond as often inappropriately, but I must release the baggage so I won’t get frustrated, agitated and even sick from not letting go internally.

    I put joy on, I must surrender to have a good day and I must release all my imperfections to God every morning if I am going to have a good day. I must do it whether I feel it or not. I must sing till my spirit takes over my soul. If I don’t quit, God shows up. When I do quit, God still shows up.

    My stubbornness I like to call determination in my old age of 52. After losing a brother at 40 and one at 48 I must fight the good fight of faith and live with even more passion and stay kingdom focused. We are all given a certain number of days.

    It is a fight, but I have a choice to see it as aggravating or seeing it as God working good in me. If I really believe God works for my good I must extremely abandon myself to Him and not try to figure it out. It is a head trip and it makes me crazy acting..in my flesh LOL.

    As I sit here trying to think on a six letter word I could give, I realize that through all my brokenness and my pain I have endured by His grace, my view of God has changed.. He has carried me over my mountains and into His shadow. He has had to be my very breath as I would wake, gasping for air. During the day I was FINE, but coming out of a deep sleep I was agonizing over the loss of my brother.

    I had to allow God to take over my soul. I had to clean my house less, and be on my face more. I had to cry out to HIM. and those tears became my prayers.. and all I can tell you, the waves of despair He has calmed within me. I am a work in progress, but am thankful to you for sharing your heart and how God uses your imperfections. I am a recovered perfectionist.. old things passed away.. I am a new creature in Christ.. a little bit more like HIM every day… praise God He hasn’t given up on me. I have had to repent for being so hard on myself. I felt like God was showing me I was almost making it more about me as I focused on imperfections. For He is perfect and I wasn’t focusing on Him but on me…I GOT IT..
    seeker… THAT IS MY WORD.. His word says to seek HIM while HE may be found.. so that was my pursuit..and may I testify that this promise word of WHILE gave me a sense of urgency and helped me to not lose my focus. I wore myself out asking God so many questions.

    Thankfully, He never pushed me away. Maybe a little bit of healthy fear, awesome awareness that He wasn’t always going to be around? Now I know it was partly my adrenal glands on overload but God used it to help me keep on and press into HIM. Not my many hats I wear, He wanted to be my NEW IDENTITY
    He is the Rock that doesn’t ROLL per my daddy … and for that I am thankful. I may roll all over the place in my mind some days, but when I focus on the ROCK , my mind seems seered and peace comes. I am not tormented anymore. So I think I will just stay on that path of seeking HIM. It is truly the safest place to be.

    Reply
  53. Wanda

    Wowzers! Thinking Reactor? I love it! I’m going to do my best to make that a new part of my behavior too!

    I hate being all explosive & stressed out (my “go to” emotional reaction).

    Thanks Lysa

    Reply
  54. Cindy Miller

    Thanks so much for this. What encourgement. I printed out, I’m going to leave ti on my desk so it is a reminder. You are always a great source of encourgement.

    Reply
    • Yully

      I love that you talked about the dieefrfnce between reaction and reply. I\’m also an exploder and have trouble with my replies. I\’m glad this book has been such a blessing to you. Thanks for sharing your blog with the group. Kara obs leader

      Reply
  55. Denise

    I think another reactor is the victim reactor. No matter what the issue is it becomes about how it is affecting the victim. The victim reactor draws others into their poor, pitiful me and it makes the victim feel that they are valadated for their feels. This does not solve anything.

    Reply
    • Rhonda

      Good one Denise! And sad, but true! It does not solve anything. It only keeps them in their ‘victim’ state of mind. We can ‘choose’ to become the ‘victor’ of our circumstance(s). Granted, it may not and probably won’t make the problem simply go away or be resolved.
      But believing God and His Promises can help us go through ‘whatever it is’ by choosing His Way…It doesn’t mean He will make it disappear, but He will help us endure. Isn’t it funny how Everything about us and our lives revolves around one word….”choice?” Thank you Lysa for all that you do, you touch our everyday lives by bringing us encouragement that we are not alone.

      Reply
  56. Linda G

    I started working in the library, shelving books that were returned, when I was 15. I worked there for 2 years through high school. It has really helped me to be a thinking reactor. The library is a wealth of information (which now you can get most of that info online but back then all we had were books!)… I always turn to trying to find someone who has been there/done that! It definitely helps you to put things into perspective. What good does panic and pity parties do for anyone? Nothing! Get information to help you make your decision on how to handle the problem. Good luck and praying for you Lysa!

    Reply
  57. The Bargain Shopper Lady

    I would need to invent a category that thinks but mainly “gives it to God.” I just recently had a problem and when I finally took it to God I suddenly got this God idea that I knew was only from Him! I thought, I need to do this more often! 🙂

    Reply
  58. Debbie Wilson

    How about this one…blame others for your problems. If it wasn’t for_____, if only they had ______, because of their __________ and on and on it goes. Adam and Eve started this cycle first.

    Reply
  59. Sheila

    Ugh…. My husband just about died laughing when I read him the “sky is falling” reactor. So me! Dang. Well the first step to changing something is seeing it in black and white. Cheers to 2013 and ditching the sky is falling spirit, Lord help me! 🙂

    Reply
  60. Adrienne

    Wow! This came right on time. Not 2 minutes after I read this, my nanny texted and said she will not be able to work the rest of the week. My normal reaction would be a nice combo of the sky is falling followed by an Eeyore moment. Instead, I thought rationally, prayed about the situation and for my nanny, and took care of it! Thanks!

    Reply
  61. Dianne

    Thanks Lysa. I’m a world is falling apart. Hope I can get ideas that help me settle and think through things as they come up. ~Dianne~

    Reply
  62. Teresa

    Lysa, you’ve given me a lot to ponder. While reading this I realized a couple of things. First, I not only could see what reactor I closely identify with, but also those around me (like my son) . I have said in the past when you know where a person is coming from, you can deal more effectively with them. The lines of communication is established. Secondly, at some point in my life I may have been each one of those reactors you mentioned. It’s only through my maturation in Christ and lots of work that I got through it. I pray I never stop growing in HIM.

    Reply
  63. Julissa

    I am between “the sky is falling reactor” and the “thinking reactor”. When I first encounter a problem, I tend to think that the sky is falling on my head and that there is not solution in sight. That feeling and those thoughts last for like 5-10 minutes. Then I say to myself. I can do anything through Christ Jesus, I pick myself up dust myself off and start trying to figure things out and come up with a solution.
    I also pray through my problems. If it’s a problem that will take time to solve I just keep praying and asking God for the wisdom to come up with a solution or to put people in my path that can help me solve the issue.

    Reply
  64. Denise

    Next week begins a fresh new bible study for 2013 at our church and it’s called “Unglued”!

    Just checked out the leadership guide and I’m so looking forward to working through your book and what the word of God has to say about our emotions….and then APPLICATION TIME. Amazing what the Lord will do through us in 2013.
    Thank you for your commitment into the lives of women!

    Reply
  65. Nina

    I see another book topic budding!! With all the life lessons I have learned as a Marine wife and now wife of a combat Veteran I have grown into a thinking reactor… A “pray hard and let Him pull me through” reactor… Most of the time 😉

    Looking forward to hearing you bring the Word next month, Lysa. A group of wives of combat Vets dedicated to sharing the love of Jesus with other ladies in our challenging situation will be attending in CO Springs. God bless you lady!

    Reply
  66. Nina

    I see another book topic budding!! With all the life lessons I have learned as a Marine wife and now wife of a combat Veteran I have grown into a thinking reactor… A “pray hard and let Him pull me through” reactor… Most of the time 😉

    Looking forward to hearing you bring the Word next month, Lysa. A group of wives of combat Vets dedicated to sharing the love of Jesus with other ladies in our situation will be attending in CO Springs. God bless you lady!

    Reply
  67. Julie

    I just don’t know…I’m at a loss. Sure the roads were bad this week out here and my fiancé is a truck driver but my things are still mostly in another state right now and…I don’t know how we’ll make it back to get my belongings. I lose my old place on the 15th, he’s missed work due to roads but t

    Reply
  68. Julie

    I just don’t know…I’m at a loss. Sure the roads were bad this week out here and my fiancé is a truck driver but my things are still mostly in another state right now and…I don’t know how we’ll make it back to get my belongings. I lose my old place on the 15th, he’s missed work due to roads but today he’s missed due to feeling queasy…I tried to get him going but no. I go in to work even when I feel a little queasy. I now fear I’m inadequate, he’s inadequate and I’ll lose my belongings….I just don’t understand. I got a sense of relief when reading your blog today. I’m trying to just run to God and trust all will go alright but…can someone here pray for our situation? I would really appreciate this. 🙁

    Reply
  69. Jennifer Dougan

    Hi Lysa,

    “Gather smart people around you” – I laughed when I read this. It’s true, and we all need it, but it made me grin. Thanks for that today.

    Jennifer Dougan
    http://www.jenniferdougan.com

    Reply
  70. Judy

    I am an Eeyore Reactor by nature, but I have learned that causes me lots of problems. Since my self assessment and realization of this fact, I have learned to be a prepared reactor. I cannot be prepared for everything in life, but I can do as much as possible. Being prepared for conflict, tragedy, and mistakes in general, helps me to follow Godly principles and to keep my thoughts and emotions under control.

    Reply
  71. Jane

    Lisa,

    Your book Unglued and now this is just fabulous. I’m from a long ling of “The Sky is Falling Reactors”. Lo and behold, I work for one too! So first I’m learning not to react and I use a lot of the psalms and your words of wisdom so I’m not overreacting and emotional and storming off…..I am learning to trust, to trust God and to let go and let God. I also have to learn to apply these words of wisdom to all of my life….Thank-yo

    Peace and Blessings,

    Jane

    Reply
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