Lysa TerKeurst

Tuesday, May 7

the moments we don’t capture with pictures

Some moments of motherhood are amazing. Beyond amazing. Blessed treasures of sheer joy.

Then there are other moments. The ones where we feel like a complete failure as a mom. I have them. I suspect you do too.

The moments that taste bitter, not sweet.

The moments that won’t make it into the family scrapbook.

We wonder if we really have it in us to grow a child into a God-following adult.

Yes, those kinds of unglued heart moments aren’t the ones we capture in pictures. But there is a silver lining I’ve discovered in those moments.

Wisdom can be found in the humble and sometimes even humiliating spaces of motherhood.

Wisdom is our silver lining.

Wisdom will help us not repeat the mistakes we’ve made but rather grow stronger through them.

So, how do we find this wisdom?

We come to the Lord and ask Him for it. We set aside our excuses, our habits, and our justifications and whisper, “I need your perspective God. I come before you and humbly admit my desperate dependence on you.”

Proverbs 11:2 reminds us, “with humility comes wisdom.”

Yes, humility.

But wisdom can also come from those times of humiliation as well.

Remember King David from the Bible? He had an affair with a married woman named Bathsheba. When Bathsheba sent word to David she was pregnant with his baby, he panicked and had her husband killed so he could quickly marry her.

His choice brought calamity upon his house and the son born to he and Bathsheba died. Sin and consequences always walk hand in hand. And David surely suffered the consequences of his choices for years to come.

But mixed in with the heartbreak and the humiliation something else happened.

When the repentant David went to comfort Bathsheba she became pregnant with Solomon. From this relationship wrapped in humiliation came the man the Bible calls, “wiser than any other man.”

From humiliation wisdom came.

Humility and humiliation, silver linings that can lead to wisdom even in the midst of “those days.”

Some of my sweet blog friends are talking about their own unglued moments and the positive things they’re learning through it all in their Build ‘Em Up Series! Won’t you pop on over to read pieces of encouragement from them today?

Courtney – Lil Light O’ Mine
Erin – Blue-Eyed Bride
Kelly – Kelly’s Korner
Jennifer – Life in the Green House

They’re each doing a fun giveaway with some tools to equip you as you face those hard moments.

Unglued Giveaway

Be sure to see each of the above blogs for your chance to win an Unglued Summer Sanity Package containing a copy of Unglued, the Unglued Devotional, and a set of Unglued keytags.

I think I’ll give one away too! Leave a comment below telling me how you stay calm in the midst of chaos.

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Thursday, May 2

Exploder or Stuffer – Which One Are You?

I used to think there were two categories of reactions people have when they come unglued: exploding and stuffing.

Exploding when we feel unglued means pushing emotions outward. A rush of feelings bubble up and out of our mouth with harsh words, condemning attitudes, and demonstrative gestures like slamming doors or banging our hand down on a table. The exploding makes us feel good in the moment because it gets the yuck out of us but when we realize all we’ve spewed on others and the hurt we’ve caused, the regret falls heavy.

We’ll either deflect that regret by blaming someone else for our actions or we’ll ingest that regret by shaming ourselves.

Stuffing when we feel unglued means pushing emotions inward. A rush of feelings are stopped from going out by being shoved in. We swallow hard our hurt feelings but not in an effort to process and release. Rather we wallow in the hurt. Like an oyster deals with the irritation of a grain of sand we coat the issue with more and more layers of hurt until a rock of sorts is formed.

But this rock is no pearl. It’s a rock with which we’ll eventually build a barrier or use it to hurl hurt in eventual retaliation.

In processing these definitions, studying the thousands of responses to posts I’ve written on raw emotions on my blog, and honestly assessing myself, I determined there are actually 4 categories of unglued reactions:

• Exploders who blame others
• Exploders who shame themselves
• Stuffers who build barriers
• Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks

Once I identified these four categories I wanted to know which one I fell into. You might even be wondering… “what type of reactor am I?” Well, we’ve created an Unglued assessment that you can take to find out!

Remember: these aren’t labels we carry around with us. These are things we’re identifying about ourselves so we can bring our raw emotions and unglued reactions under the healing revelations of Jesus.

Be sure to leave a comment below telling me what your result was. You’ll be entered to win a copy of the Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress!

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Monday, April 29

Afraid To Walk Across The Street

My friend Amy Lively, from The Neighborhood Café, is guest posting today! She’s tackling an issue that so many of us struggle with – breaking out of our comfort zones to reach people in our own backyards with the Gospel. I think you’ll really love the ideas she has. And don’t forget to enter her fun giveaway! Here’s Amy…

“I can do it! I can totally do it!” Someone had spoken life into one of my dreams, and for a few weeks I believed I could do it—I could actually start a neighborhood Bible study in my home. I would lure my neighbors over with coffee and cookies, then spring the Gospel on them—they’d never know what hit ‘em! I penciled the date for an Open House on my calendar, sketched out an invitation, and made lists of silly icebreakers.

This crazy idea rattled around in my heart… but by the time it bounced all the way up to my brain, I wasn’t so confident anymore. Could my little list of “things I’d like to teach about” turn into conversations with real women sitting around my kitchen table? What if no one came? What if everyone came? And then there was the mildly troublesome fact that I didn’t know my neighbors.

Besides…
I don’t have time.
I’m not spiritual enough.
My house isn’t nice enough.
People don’t want to talk about religion.

My excuses were legit. I was busy working from home at our growing business while raising a family. I regularly fought with my husband, yelled at bad drivers (I love personalized license plates so I can call people out by name), and had never gotten around to memorizing the minor Old Testament prophets. My living room, with half-chewed rawhides poking out from behind the sofa cushions, is not Pinteresting. And, some people are a little uncomfortable bringing Jesus home from church.

There was nothing in the Bible telling me how to overcome my logical excuses and rational defenses. But there weren’t any escape clauses, either—and trust me, I looked! Not a single instance of “love your neighbor” was followed by “when your calendar is clear and your house is clean.”

“Please, God,” I begged, “Can’t I go to Africa instead? That would be easier than going across the street.”

Truth is, I was scared stiff—stiffly stuck in my comfort zone, stubbornly resisting God’s nudge out my front door.

My excuses were a thin disguise for my fears: fear of sacrifice, fear of humiliation, fear of being different, fear of rejection.

God never did magically eliminate my excuses, but He did ease my fears with sound scriptural promises about loving till it hurts (Ephesians 5:2), the difference between humiliation and humility (Proverbs 29:23), being weird (1 Peter 3:14-15), and pleasing God—not girlfriends (1 Thessalonians 2:4).

On the flip side of my fear, I found God’s faithfulness. He gave me Christ’s example to follow in my own neighborhood. He promised me honor when I submitted in humility. He offered a crown when others might offer criticism. He entrusted me with the Gospel not as a weapon, but as a way of life and love.

God’s faithfulness went with me as, knees knocking, I knocked on my neighbors’ doors. He led them back to my door, these women I never would have met had I not given into this scheme. We talked and laughed. Many became my friends as we continued to gather in my home every other week.

God broke my heart for my neighbors as I realized this was never about me—it had always been about them.

God’s faithfulness multiplied each hour I dedicated to getting ready; my productivity at work and home soared. No one asked me deep theological questions like, “Do pets go to heaven?” and some days they were a little irked at their families, too. They learned not to wear black pants around our yellow dog, and no one cared that Sara Lee made the snacks. And it turns out they needed Jesus in their homes just as much as I did.

Now when fear raises its ugly head, I remember how God proved His faithfulness as I obeyed His commands and believed His promises.

And this thing I dreaded—even as I was dreaming of it—became my deepest joy.

Would you like to turn your dread into joy by starting your very own neighborhood Bible study, but aren’t sure how?

Lively Post Pic

Today, I’m giving away three Neighborhood Café Kits that hold everything you’ll need to love your neighbors in a whole new way!

The kit includes a planning guide, open house invitations, leader’s guide, and more. To enter, leave a comment below telling me why you’d like to be a winner.

The first time I heard the words “neighborhood Bible study” was at Proverbs 31 Ministries’ She Speaks Conference. Each year as I’ve attended She Speaks and She Speaks Intensive, the Proverbs 31 team has stretched my personal faith and expanded my professional ministry. I have never seen so many beautiful women in one place encouraging one another without competing, generously imparting knowledge, equipping women to reach God’s daughters around the world. Read about it, pray about it—then GO TO IT! Click here for more information.