Friday, March 29

Friday Favorite: Brag to Win!

I have three favorites all tied into this week’s Friday Favorite.

1. I love my friend, Shaunti Feldhahn, and her passion to help marriages. Her book, For Women Only, has just been revised and updated! Full of amazing insights and current research to help wives understand their husbands, this is a book you don’t want to miss.

2. I love giveaways! And Shaunti is allowing me to give away 5 signed copies of her book, For Women Only. All you have to do is leave a comment below bragging on your husband, your son, or some other special man in your life. We’ll choose 5 commenters to each win a copy of this book.

3. I love marriage advice! Watch this video below where Shaunti explains why it’s important for us to learn to brag on our man. (Don’t forget to leave a comment below after you watch the video for your chance to win.)

Happy Friday!

Monday, February 18

Dark Places

Do you ever have little places of discouragement that entangle around your heart? You know in the bigger picture of life things are good. But there’s this little dark place. A little black hole. That sometimes doesn’t feel little.

It hangs like a cloud. Blocking the sun. Casting shadows.

Maybe it’s an argument you and your husband have had one too many times. Your relationship is good but this one topic feels like a black hole.

Or an issue with one of your kids. You have an amazing child. But there is this one behavioral tendency that baffles you. Embarrasses you. Causes you to fear. It feels like a black hole.

Or a reoccurring frustration with a friend. She’s amazing. But there’s this one part of your friendship that darkens the collective good. And you can’t figure out how to address it. Now it’s happening with more frequency and it feels like a black hole.

I know. It’s hard.

But here’s what God keeps showing me… a black hole isn’t a black WHOLE.

The whole isn’t all bad. Yes, there are some issues to address and some tensions to manage but don’t let Satan use this frustration to darken your outlook.
In a relationship funk, remember that there are issues to address and conflict to manage but don't let it darken your outlook!

Jesus reminds us, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

Ask Jesus to shed His light on your situation today. Look at this from Jesus’ perspective. Use truth to do something positive in this area today. Invest the time to make a little imperfect progress right there.

In the dark place.

That won’t be so dark with a little light cast upon it.

Wednesday, October 31

Answering Your Questions About Pornography, Part 2

While it hasn’t been an easy discussion, bringing pornography out from the shadows is an important thing to do. I get a ton of letters from women in devastating situations due to pornography. Both because their husband is addicted, or they are.

Either way, it’s important to talk about.

But first, I want to let those of you who get this blog emailed to you know that I was just as caught off guard as anyone that political ads were attached to my post. The service I use did this without my knowledge. So, I have upgraded my service to the level where there should be no ads attached at all.

If you ever have any more problems with this, please let me know.

And thank you for your graciousness. That’s one of the many reasons why I love you so!

Today’s post will help answer an understandable concern some of you expressed from Monday’s post. If you missed part 1 of this discussion click here.

Here’s your question and Jake Larson, from XXX church, with an answer:

Is it really my husband’s issue, and not about my shortcomings, or lack of adventure in the bedroom?
I think what you are asking is, “If the wife was more creative and adventurous in the bedroom would it solve his problem?” Here’s my straightforward answer, not a chance! 

So many women have said to me in counseling sessions, following the discovery of their husband’s addiction, that they have a good sex life with their husband. 

I look at the husband and he agrees. By the way, this response by the husband almost sends the wife into an all out rage! It makes no sense to her. 

Hear me, your husband’s pornography addiction is NOT about you. 

You couldn’t be pretty enough, adventurous enough, or curvy enough to make it go away. Although a healthy sexual relationship will help a husband through recovery, he did not turn to pornography because of you. 

The reason why a man turns to pornography is often connected to his own insecurities and childhood. At some point in his life he learned that pornography would give him a reward in the midst of his fears, doubts, pain, and dysfunction.

Pornography became the one thing he could run to for relief when confused and hurting. The key to recovery is learning how to run to relationships of unconditional love.
From Lysa:  

For other men it’s a temptation of senses.  We live in a world saturated with opportunity to connect with inappropriate images.  

And this isn’t just a male issue. I’ve received letters from women addicted as well.

That’s why I wanted to provide a step toward getting help. A place to get some more answers. Visit the XXX Church website here.

In the comments below, let’s each pray for men and women caught in this addiction. Pray for their relationships, for healing, and for hope.