Friday, June 14

Push Past Mad

I was spittin’ mad at my man. We had scheduled to watch a movie together but then he got a phone call. A call he had to take.

And instead of being patient and remembering how he had been understanding all the times I’ve gotten phone calls I had to take, I just got mad.

I felt put off.


Less important.

Because this was supposed to be our time together. And I was really looking forward to our time. I wanted to know he was looking forward to our time. That’s one of the most important parts of a date for me- knowing that he is looking forward to it.

But the longer the call lasted, the more I convinced myself he was just doing this movie date with me out of obligation rather than out of a desire to really be with me.

So, when the call went from “it will just be a minute” to over 40 minutes, I shut down and went to bed. Mad. Really mad.

The next day, Art asked if we could try again.

I was still mad. I didn’t want to try again.

Because this wasn’t just about that one phone call and one missed movie. It was about a collection of situations where I’ve gathered up little pebbles of frustration. I carry them around and think it’s no big deal.

Pebbles seem so innocent until they collectively turn into boulders.

And boulders don’t just weigh you down, they wear you out. They don’t just frustrate, they fracture.
Remember the effect your words can have on your relationships in the heat of conflict.

That’s why I had to push past mad and talk this through. The scariest place in a marriage isn’t when the talking is hard- it’s when the talking stops.

Keep talking. Keep connecting. Keep pushing past mad.

Friday, March 29

Friday Favorite: Brag to Win!

I have three favorites all tied into this week’s Friday Favorite.

1. I love my friend, Shaunti Feldhahn, and her passion to help marriages. Her book, For Women Only, has just been revised and updated! Full of amazing insights and current research to help wives understand their husbands, this is a book you don’t want to miss.

2. I love giveaways! And Shaunti is allowing me to give away 5 signed copies of her book, For Women Only. All you have to do is leave a comment below bragging on your husband, your son, or some other special man in your life. We’ll choose 5 commenters to each win a copy of this book.

3. I love marriage advice! Watch this video below where Shaunti explains why it’s important for us to learn to brag on our man. (Don’t forget to leave a comment below after you watch the video for your chance to win.)

Happy Friday!

Monday, February 18

Dark Places

Do you ever have little places of discouragement that entangle around your heart? You know in the bigger picture of life things are good. But there’s this little dark place. A little black hole. That sometimes doesn’t feel little.

It hangs like a cloud. Blocking the sun. Casting shadows.

Maybe it’s an argument you and your husband have had one too many times. Your relationship is good but this one topic feels like a black hole.

Or an issue with one of your kids. You have an amazing child. But there is this one behavioral tendency that baffles you. Embarrasses you. Causes you to fear. It feels like a black hole.

Or a reoccurring frustration with a friend. She’s amazing. But there’s this one part of your friendship that darkens the collective good. And you can’t figure out how to address it. Now it’s happening with more frequency and it feels like a black hole.

I know. It’s hard.

But here’s what God keeps showing me… a black hole isn’t a black WHOLE.

The whole isn’t all bad. Yes, there are some issues to address and some tensions to manage but don’t let Satan use this frustration to darken your outlook.
In a relationship funk, remember that there are issues to address and conflict to manage but don't let it darken your outlook!

Jesus reminds us, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12)

Ask Jesus to shed His light on your situation today. Look at this from Jesus’ perspective. Use truth to do something positive in this area today. Invest the time to make a little imperfect progress right there.

In the dark place.

That won’t be so dark with a little light cast upon it.