Lysa TerKeurst _{Leading Women in the Adventure of Faith}

I’m guest posting over at InCourage today and would love to have you visit me there by clicking here.  But first, let’s tear down something impossible today…

I distinctly remember the day my Dad brought home a typewriter.  His office had gotten these new machines called ‘computers.’  Something within me stirred and went wild at the thought of possessing a typewriter.

I loved the way it could strike and letter up a page of nothing and make it something.

Maybe, I could one day write a book?  The thought came and delighted me until I placed my hands on the keyboard.  And the only words that came to me were all the reasons I couldn’t possibly write a book.

The dream was silenced.

The same thing happened to me when the high school choir director announced we’d be doing a musical.  I got so excited.  I could see myself playing the lead role. Until I heard my friend practicing with bold assurance and booming accuracy.  Suddenly every note I sang felt painfully hollow.

The dream was silenced.

And then in my mid twenties I dared to tell a friend of mine I thought I might want to speak at the women’s event we were planning.  Originally, I was just going to help plan the event.  But the stirring to speak wouldn’t leave me.  So, I gave voice to my crazy thought.

She just tilted her head and said, “No.  I feel certain you aren’t supposed to speak.”

The dream was silenced.

Has this ever happened to you?  Voices within remind us of all the reasons we’re incapable.  Voices around us all seem more confident.  And the voices of the naysayers are just flat out rude.

Oh how impossibility loves to scream into gaps of silenced dreams.

But here’s the thing about impossible- there is some part of what we’re attempting that isn’t impossible.  All impossibilities have a weak spot.  And that’s the exact place where we must attack.

A book might seem impossible.  But that’s not where writers should start anyhow. There’s an article that could be written.  Or in today’s world a tweet that could be crafted.  Or a blog posted.

Write there.  In the weak spot of impossibility.

Maybe it’s your marriage that seems impossible.  Go against the grain of your hurt feelings and silent brush-offs.  Think on just one thing you do love about that man of yours today.  Send him a text about how much you appreciate that one thing.  Praise him for that one thing. Tell someone else about that one thing you noticed today.

Start there. In the weak spot of impossibility.

I don’t know what impossibility you might be facing today.

But remember- all impossibilities have a weak spot.  It’s there.  Ask God to show you where it is.  Ask God for just enough strength to attack there. Tear it down one good decision at a time.

And soon you will see, inside every impossible is the word “possible”… if only we dare to see it.

Dear Husbands,

An ordinary Tuesday might seem like a strange day to think of something special to do for your wife.  But this ordinary day really is the perfect day because you’re not supposed to do anything today. And that simple fact alone will capture your wife’s heart.

I know women sometimes seem complicated and overly sensitive at times. But really we’re not. We just want to be thought of in a way that makes us feel special.

One kind act by you can cover a multitude of everyday stresses.

I’m serious.

Now before you head off to Victoria and her store of secrets… that’s not it. Her secrets are scratchy and too small in areas we feel are too big. We’ll save that for another ordinary Tuesday when I write a note to wives.

The special thing I’m talking about doesn’t have to take a lot of time or cost money. It just has to say you thought of her… you paused to notice her… she’s special to you.

Maybe tuck a little note in her purse that simply says some version of that last sentence.

Or, write the word “Perfect” on a piece of paper and tape it over the numbers on her scale.

Or, finally get around to doing that avoided item on the honey-do list.

Or, send her a text message telling her three things you think she does better than any other person you know.

The possibilities are endless.

But the point is this… One simple dandelion on a no-name day means more to your wife than a dozen roses on a Hallmark holiday.  

The heart of a woman longs to be thought of, adored, and noticed. Not because you’re obligated to do so because a date on the calendar demands it, but rather just because you love her. Don’t let today slip by.

It’s the perfect day to give her what she can’t get from any other person – the love of her husband.

“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church- a love marked by giving, not getting.  Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…”  Eph. 5:25-27 (MSG).

Last week my husband and I decided to tackle organizing a dreaded room in our house- our office.  Let me point out two key words in that last sentence…OUR OFFICE.

OUR- meaning we share.  Two busy people emotionally allergic to filing with a high propensity toward piling make for an interesting situation.

OFFICE- meaning the place we put stuff that needs to be attended to or stuff we will use but not right this second.  Stuff that doesn’t have a definite place, seems to just get dumped in the office.

You see, the word office isn’t as distinctly defined as a kitchen, bedroom or bathroom.

A kitchen is where the food goes.

A bedroom is where my clothes, shoes and my tired body goes.

A bathroom is where my shampoo and makeup goes.

But an office?  Well, it’s just where stuff goes.  For me that’s mail, permission slips, bills, contracts, books, family photos and ministry things.

For my husband that’s mail, bills, fishing poles, fishing worm things, scuba gear, cassette tapes for a leadership curriculum (please note we don’t own a cassette tape player any longer), books, and boxes from every gadget we’ve ever owned- even those we no longer own.

So, it wasn’t going to be an easy task to get the office full of stuff- unstuffed.  Or is it destuffed? I’m clueless.

But, I embraced the reality that some of the stuff simply had to go.

I found great progress in making three piles:

Stuff to toss.

Stuff to give away.

Stuff to put away elsewhere.

If anything went in one of these three piles I carried it out of my side of the office.  Then I was able to quickly organize the rest in the space now freed up.  I was so excited!  And I expected Art to be excited.

But he wasn’t.

He was horrified.  Especially by my “stuff to toss” and “stuff to give away” piles.

He looked at those piles and felt I was wasting the money those things cost. And honestly there was just some old fashioned sentimentality going on as well.

But, I looked at those piles as freeing myself.  It was such a good feeling to rid my space of stuff I no longer need.  Keeping it was allowing that stuff to steal my space, my peace, and not to sound too dramatic but my life!

As we enter the new year, I think it’s good to consider the stuff stealers in our life.

What is stealing your space, your peace, your life?

Are your stuff stealers piles that need to be tackled?

Or is it that extra weight from one too many sugar cookies and peppermint mochas?

Or is it more of an emotional thing you’re hanging on to – a rude comment by that family member, that friend that made you feel left out, or that adult child who didn’t bother to call you on Christmas?

Stuff stealers.  Stuff we just simply don’t need to hang on to any longer.

Unless of course they are my husband’s cassette tapes.  I totally see why we are hanging on to those.  Really.  I do.

A great first step to getting rid of our stuff stealers is to proclaim we are going to do it. In the comments below, tell us what you’re going to tackle this year.

I’ll randomly pick two of you to win a copy of the book  “I Used to Be So Organized: Help for Reclaiming Order and Peace”, by my friend and partner in ministry, Glynnis Whitwer.

Focus on the Family will be re-airing a 2 part interview with me tomorrow and Wednesday (January 3 & 4). It’s titled ‘Finding Satisfaction with God, not Food’. I’d love to have you listen in!  Click here for more info.

Congrats to the following who were randomly chosen from last weeks comments. You have won a copy of my book Made to Crave and a copy of my new Made to Crave Devotional : ReNee, Jennifer Lefaver, Shelly Green, Kassie, and Misty. Please email Holly@Proverbs31.org to obtain your books!

Charles Spurgeon is quoted to have said, “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”

When my husband and I got married we had a tough time transitioning from being two strong-willed independent people into a unified couple.  We didn’t have huge marriage issues to overcome — we had a lot of little everyday annoyances that started to chip away at the foundation of our relationship.

Slowly, we stopped seeing all we had and started focusing on all that was lacking in each other.

Honestly, enjoying each other got lost in all the efforts to fix each other.  If you’ve ever been in this place with a relationship, you know how disillusioning it can be.  You know how it can open your marriage up to a world of attack and the temptation to think, “Did I marry the wrong person?  I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”

One day I was pouring my heart out to God in utter frustration.  I desperately wanted to get off the hamster wheel of aggravation we seemed to be stuck on.  We just kept going around and around with what was lacking in our relationship but never made any effort to progress in doing something right.

As I was praying, an idea popped into my head… The Love Jar Activity.

This would be an activity where each of us would have a jar with 5 slips of paper inside.  Art would write one thing on each of his papers that I could do for him that would speak love to him.  And I would do the same with my papers.

Then we’d switch jars and once a week for 5 weeks straight, we’d draw a piece of paper from each other’s jar.  Whatever that paper suggested, we’d do that special thing for the other person sometime during that week.

Of course, we established some parameters going into the game that fit our schedules and budget.  And I can’t say Art was jumping up and down when I introduced this idea to him… but eventually he warmed up to the idea and in the end wound up loving it!

As the weeks went on this simple activity did 3 crucial things in our relationship…

1.  It reintroduced a sense of fun that had gotten lost in the minutia of life.

2.  It taught us how important it is to be a life long student of your mate… Really seeking to understand how this other person receives love and needs to be loved.

3.  It reminded us that love is a choice.  We can’t rely on “that loving feeling” to always find us… we have to choose love and let the feelings follow.

Honestly, I think this simple activity did more to help recapture the love in our relationship than anything else we could have done in this really tough season.

If you would like more ideas like these and marriage advice from a very imperfect couple, I’m giving away 3 sets of my marriage books today:  “Capture Her Heart” — for husbands to read… and “Capture His Heart” — for wives.

These are short books power-packed with stories from my marriage, life-lessons, and simple marriage advice… perfect for people who don’t have story book marriages but would like to invest wisely in their relationship.

If that’s you… leave a comment today.  I’ll read your comment, pray for your marriage and randomly choose 3 people to win.

Confession 2:  Sometimes I know what’s good but I prefer to do what’s easy.

It’s good to go the speed limit.  It’s easy to speed a little.

It’s good to make a healthy choice.  It’s easy to grab junk.

It’s good to work out.  It’s easy to sleep in.

It’s good to read my Bible.  It’s easy to check my phone for texts and emails first.

It’s good to think about others.  It’s easy to think about myself.

Several years ago I had a friend who decided to leave her husband for another man. Things were easier with this other man.  The feelings were giddy.  The fights were few. And they didn’t have years of issues that needed to be dealt with.

So she went with what felt easy over what was good.  She divorced.  She remarried. She started over with what seemed so much easier.

After all, she’d been slipping into the pattern of easy for years.  When we set our heart on the pattern of choosing easy over good in the little things, we run the risk of using the same justifications with the bigger things.

I’m not saying if I don’t read my Bible today, I’m headed for divorce court tomorrow. But setting a pattern of choosing easy over good in my life is a slippery slope.

Easy isn’t the new good.

Just because the world waves a big banner that we deserve easy… do what feels easy… why stress yourself when there’s an easier way… doesn’t mean it’s good.

Eventually, my friend didn’t feel like her new man was so easy.  The feelings weren’t so giddy.  The fights were many.  And over the years they too developed a whole host of issues.

One day she came home and her second husband was gone.  He found it easy to leave.

Like the old cliché says, “Easy come, easy go.”

I think about this and I’m challenged.  Where are little compromises sneaking into my life?  Where am I establishing a pattern of choosing what is easy over what is good? And does it really matter?

I think it does.

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

What do you think?  What “good” choice do you want to make today?

So familiar can some of our relationships be, we forget.  We rush.  We assume.  We feel like we have forever.

And feeling like we have forever cheapens the right now feelings.

Each morning I have a routine with my man.  It’s simple.  Nothing profound.  Nothing for which we’d ever stop and snap a picture.

It’s just a moment.

He asks me to help him pick a tie.  He then goes away to fuss with this fixture of his professional job.  Soon, he returns with a flipped up collar and a pressed down, knotted tie.  He needs gentle hands to fold the collar over.  No, he doesn’t need.  He wants gentle hands to fold the collar over.

And I do.

It’s just a moment.

But it’s something I would miss with the deepest ache imaginable if today was the last of the moments.

If today.

Tears slip as I think about this.  Dear God, help me think about this.  Let me snap a hundred of these moments with the lens of my heart to be stored and appreciated and thought of as the great treasure they are.

Let my mind park there.

Let my heart relish there.

Let my mouth dare to whisper what a joy this is.  “I love you.  I love us.  I love this moment each day.”

No, our relationship isn’t perfect.  No relationship is.  We’re two very strong willed people with vastly different approaches to life.  And oh how easy it would be to list out all the differences. He likes the towel hanging in the same spot.  I am more creative. But I stop the list here.

I stop because great love isn’t two people finding the perfect match in one another.

Great love is two people making the choice to be a match.

A decision.

To fold his collar and snap the heart lens and find myself grateful to the point of tears.

Tears of relishing today are so much better than tears of what was missed.

It’s just a moment.

Or is it?