Why Would God Let This Happen?

I wonder what would happen in our lives if we really lived in the absolute assurance of God’s love. I mean, as Christians we know He loves us. We sing the songs, we quote the verses, we wear the T-shirts and we sport the bumper stickers. Yes, God loves us.

I’m not talking about knowing He loves us.

I’m talking about living as if we really believe it.

I’m talking about walking confidently in the certainty of God’s love even when our feelings beg us not to.

I’m talking about training our hearts and our minds to process everything through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love. Period. Without the possible question mark.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with a precious mom whose eldest daughter is nearing 30 and has never had a boyfriend. The younger siblings have all gone through the whole dating thing and one is now engaged to be married. The eldest daughter sat on the side of her mom’s bed recently with tears slipping down her cheeks and said, “Why mom? Why can’t I find anyone to love me? What’s wrong with me?”

This mom was asking me for advice in helping her daughter process these questions. These feelings are real. These feelings are tough.

And I’m sure if I were able to untangle all the emotions wrapped in and around these questions, somewhere deep inside I would find this girl doubting God’s love for her.

I remember being single, the only one of my friends without a boyfriend, and wondering why. I would see these nice boys and think God could make one of them fall in love with me but He hasn’t. And that hurt.

But here’s the thing I wish I had known then … I must process this through the filter of God’s love not through the tangled places of my heart.

When I process things through the tangled places of my heart, often the outcome is, “If God loves me so much, why would He let this happen?”

Instead when I process things through the filter of the absolute assurance of God’s love, the outcome is, “God loves me so much therefore I have to trust why He is allowing this to happen.”

I took the mom’s hand who was asking for advice and told her to help her daughter rewrite the way she is processing this. It’s okay to feel hurt, lonely and sad. But these feelings shouldn’t be a trigger to doubt God’s love for her. They should be a trigger to look for God’s protection, provision and possible growth opportunities.

I know this can be hard. But what if we really lived in the absolute assurance of God’s love?

I want to help you walk in that truth. That’s why my team at Proverbs 31 Ministries and I are hosting a FREE online Bible study of my book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl. Sign up today and be equipped to:

• Stop going through the motions of religion and learn how to experience Jesus in a personal way.
• Overcome the issues that pull your heart away from the Lord by gaining passion and confidence about your faith.
• Move past simply knowing about God and discover how to become vibrantly alive as you apply Biblical truths to your life.

Sign up here.

I’m giving away 5 copies of Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl. To be entered to win, leave a comment letting me know what you’re looking forward to most in the study!


  1. says

    I’ve gone through the Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl study twice now, and both times, the part of the book that stood out to me most was praise and thanksgiving … how praise and thankfulness can bring something good out of our worst attitudes and circumstances. Cultivating a heart of thankfulness has been God’s main lesson in my life for over a year now. Thank you for this book, as well as many of your others. I know it will bless so many people!

  2. Susan says

    This past Saturday my ‘nest’ became empty for the first time in 25 years. I was reading your Instagram that night and was dealing with so many emotions – happy for my kids (who are now both 6 hours away), was I a good enough mother?, what could I have done differently, what will I do now that there are no ‘children’ in the house? I immediately signed up for this bible study and shared it with others. I feel like this bible study is for me, to help me find my new place in life and it came at the exact, perfect time that I needed it. I can’t wait to start and I KNOW God has something for me in this. I anxiously await hearing from Him through this study.

  3. says

    I would like an in-depth BIBLE STUDY because I need to have clarification of a lot of meanings of passages within the WORD. . .You see with so many different translations and teachers around I has become confusing as to who to believe (perspectives)…….I need some help…..The daily devotionals are good….but often times I may hear at church a different translation on a different format…..therefore I look forward to learning as much as I can by entering into this online BIBLE STUDY!

  4. Beth says

    I feel like I have been going through the motions for the last 20 years trying to be a “good Christian woman” with little to show. I really want to experience God like I did when I was a young adult….with abandon. My faith has become stagnate and I want it to be alive and fresh again.

    • Judy says

      something happened in my life in December 2015, that has drastically changed my life! First off, its only temporary, so not so bad, but I honestly was angry at god for putting me in this situation, and after being at home (as I can’t even work!) i began to see that God has a plan for every section, every chapter of our lives! I know He wants me to slow down and be more intimately involved with Him, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do!! There’s a song that goes like this” His way is best I will not murmur!! What has happened is that my hip joint is in extreme bad shape and I was actually born with hip dysplasia; so this has affected thieving I do because whenever
      and it really makes every day MY DAY AND YOUR DAY AS WELL!!

  5. Kimberly Kious says

    I just signed up and ordered the Kindle version of the book…but would love a paper version! Thank you and Blessings! Looking forward to this!!! 😀

  6. Tracie Register says

    I have read several of your books and even heard you speak several years ago! I love how you put God in real form for me…often through your stories, it makes me see God better in my own story! God is real and He is at work through all things, however sometimes it is the human in us that fail to give Him credit or look for HIM everywhere! As I grow in my faith through this study, I hope to be more than just going through the motions, I want to grow my relationship with God to a point where He is my first not my second option!

  7. Karen says

    I had a younger friend call me just last night to ask for guidance and prayer re: the subject you shared in this email. She is lonely and doesn’t understand why the Lord is allowing her to stay single etc. I would like the book for her and to connect her to your online bible study. God’s timing is so amazing! I hope I can win for my friend. I’ll connect her just the same.
    thank you.

  8. Kristy says

    Lysa, I heard you speak a few years ago at Women of Faith – I am always touches by your REAL stories. I have a 14 year old daughter who is thirsty for more knowledge of Christ than I know what to do! We attend a small church in a small community that is not able to offer as much as I would like but we feel very loved by our church family and all my family attends there as well. I am a single Mom. I divorced about 4 years ago and my ex-husband passed a year after divorce. My daughter and I went to individual and counseling together with a Christian therapist. I believe my daughter does very well emotionally but I know I am missing something MORE with her. We each have devotional books we complete of course not as regularly as we should! I am wondering “Becoming More than a Good Bible study Girl” would be a great venue for us to connect spiritually as Mom and daughter. Thank you for sharing your life as a blessing to so many! Would love to have a copy for us!

  9. Sarah Feiertag says

    Lysa, I can relate to your friend, but mostly her single, hurting daughter. I was her. Single for much of my adult life. I remember once telling my mom that I felt I was invisible. It felt like men just saw right through me. My mom told me, Sarah, perhaps God is protecting you, protecting you from all the men who are not the right one for you, protecting you from heartbreak, protecting you from disappointment, and preparing you for the right one. I remember her words to this day. And I found peace in the thought of God’s protection. Protection of me and my heart. I love the thought of His preparation of me, for whomever I will meet and marry. I met my wonderful husband several years later when I was 37 and we were married just after my 40th birthday. God is good. The love of a mother is precious. I am blessed by them both.

  10. Julie Jordao says

    Boy, can I relate to that! Looking through the lenses of God’s love is a daily struggle for me, one that I seem to lise sight of more often than I care to admit. I have been trying to learn from my toddler, who not always gets what he wants or thinks he deserves, but whose best interest I have in my heart as a mom. How much more does God care for me!

  11. Ann says

    I’ve read so many of your books and I’ve loved them all. I haven’t gotten around to reading this one and can’t wait. This should be a great study!

  12. says

    I see the same thing happening to my daughter. Although she hasn’t “asked those exact
    questions yet”, but I anticipate them anytime.
    I look forward to the study for both of us.

  13. Clare says

    I’m looking forward to recalibrating my heart to the way it was when I was younger, physically and in my faith.
    I want the child-like innocence back that stops questioning every motive (of people and God). I want to be able to trust, to be able to relax and to be able to enjoy.
    I want to live out my Christian life and, not just have others benefit from it but benefit myself through the Holy Spirit.

  14. Andrea says

    Last year, I told God I wanted to know what it was like to live a life totally trusting him. It is my heart’s desire. Thank you for this encouraging post.

  15. Myrna Gaye Dumas says

    I have been listening to Klove 24/7 for 4 years. I have heard you & Renee come on the air from time to time. Everytime I heard you I thought to myself I need to write down that email address & check it out. You preached Sunday morning of the Klove fan award show. I heard the message. I was moved to tears and told myself I would surely come to this website to seek information about how to get that flame kindled to set my soul on fire again from within through His Holy Spirit. Unfortunately, I kept letting “other things” prevent me from doing so until right now. Lysa, I know God has something special planned for me. I keep getting in my own way. I don’t pray for His eyes to see/His ears to hear/His words to speak consistantly. Perhaps He has been leading me here all this while & I haven’t paid close enough attention until now. I dunno. What matters is I want to get about doing God’s work and not my own.
    I am disabled & on a fixed income. I won’t get paid again until February 3rd. If I get your book complimentary to begin the study on the 25th I could purchase the book when I get paid to provide for someone else. If that isn’t a possibility, can I begin the study without it? I mean are there going to be pages posted online or anything like that for those that don’t have it? If not, could I just begin on the 3rd?
    Thank you for living your life as Jesus’ deciple. I want to live my life as His deciple, too.
    In His service,
    God Bless You

  16. Natalie says

    I would like to become a better person, I would like to counsel young ladies who need help and I would like to beable to study my bible better, to have the answers and truth.

  17. TY says

    I just signed up for this online Bible Study right NOW! I am a young woman who is hopeful that God has great plans for my life, even though everything at the moment seem to be at a dead-end. I’m stuck in my thoughts and feelings and I know the only way to get unstuck is to press into God and lean into his words. I’m looking forward to discover God in a new light and not only grow in my faith but remind myself of what Jesus already did on the cross. Thank you for this opportunity. I perceive it’ll make a great impact in my life.

  18. Timeisha says

    Im looking forward to diving deeper into God’s word and knowing my identity in Christ alone.

  19. Cindy Underwood says

    You always know how to speak to what women are feeling or have felt and connect it to God’s truth and love. Thank you for what you do.

  20. Vicki says

    I just wanted to say this is my first time with Proverbs 31. I did sign up for the Bible Study which I am really excited about. Ive been fumbling around trying to keep up with the online technology of blogs, hashtags and videos but I’m getting it (I think). I am so looking forward to deepening my relationship with the Lord and sharing that depth with others. I’m not quite sure how I found this ministry, Bible Study and Lysa’s posts, but over the past few days of reading and clicking from link to another…..here I am. I stand in awe of how God led me here when I wasn’t even looking. He knew what I needed and where to find it….Thank You Father God for leading me to the pasture where I can be fed the words of Your truth. Thank You for including me to take part of this amazing study. I commit my time and attention with an open mind and open heart so that I can walk away with a deeper understanding of who You are.

  21. Tiffany says

    I’m most looking forward to learning how to deal with the issues in my life that seem to fog up or even stump my spiritual growth. I’m anxious to get close to God and experience Jesus in a person way, as well. Years have passed and I fell short for a long time. I need my savior back in my heart and helping me through this life. Listening to everyone else hasn’t gotten me where I want and need to be.

  22. Tala says

    GOD IS SOOO MINDFUL!!!! I just went to my inbox yesterday(which I don’t check often enough), where I receive your mailings and saw this article. It was so on time because it was EXACTLY how I was feeling. So many times I “think” I have the concept of your article down. Being able to see how when God allows certain things to happen(or not) in our lives, we can STILL be assured He’s doing so through His PERFECT love. Then my heart becomes “tangled” and I lose that focal point and begin to question Him and ask why there’s so much pain in my heart. He never scolds or becomes unseemly, He just gently reminds me that HE KNOWS BEST and that His thoughts towards me are for good. He did that today through your article and I’m so grateful that even in my “tangled” moments, He remembers me and more importantly He loves me!! Thanks so much for this article and being His voice for me today. May He continue to bless you and your ministry.

  23. Donna Evans says

    Lysa, thank you so much for your ministry! Loved your Made to Crave book and all your articles each month!!! I wanted to leave a comment for you to ponder…. I was looking at your comments when you walked where the good Samaritan walked, and just wanted to give you a source to look at. Under What is the meaning of the parable of the good samaritan? And James Montgomery Boice’s book the Parables of Jesus. You are right I think in seeing Jesus, but only as a metaphor. The meaning within the text and the teaching from the text is I think to love our neighbors as ourselves and of course in the context of loving the Lord first. You are way smarter than me. I do not mean for this to be judgmental. Just was on my mind for awhile and thought i would pass it along. I know you want to be accurate because of all your great teaching that I have read. Praying for your upcoming weddings and for your continued strength and hope in the Lord. In Christ, Donna

  24. Mandy says

    I stumbled upon your blog after looking into a conference coming up at my church. I plan to attend and hear you speak March 4-5. I am looking forward to your study now as well. It’s been well over three years since I’ve done a Bible study. Just discouraged that I always seemed the be the one disconnected. I have struggled to find God over the past few years. The three bullet points you outlined above are exactly what I need. I want to experience Jesus in a personal way. I want to be more than a good Bible study girl. Would love to win the book, but I am planning on the study either way!

  25. says

    I want so badly to please the Lord and when I fail Him it really does tear me apart. It can be easy to go back and forth, like a love/hate relationship when I don’t perform as I should. I’ve had a better revelation of His grace in the last 15 years, and yet I still find it easy to look at myself through the filter of my accomplishments and failures in different areas of my life. And sometimes I honestly am too soft on myself or don’t do what I know I should be doing. As a busy working mother, I find it hard to get regular study time in, though I meditate on the word and pray throughout the day. I know I need to set a regular appointment with the Lord to be filled because He is my real life, strength and peace. And I want the Holy Spirit to be my navigator as I travel this road called life. So I look forward to being more than a Bible Study girl.

  26. Jennifer says

    Even those who were married much older than usual have absolutely no idea what it is like to be a 45 year old woman who has never been on a date, let alone in a relationship. i am not single because of choices Inmade but because no one has or ever will choose me. It is heartbreaking to be one of those rejected and unchose, an I can only hope that God has a special kind of love and compassion for those of us in that situation.

  27. Nancy says

    Hi I am new to the page. I have 5 grown children 4 boys and a girl which is the baby of the family been married for 33 years and I gave my life to the Lord when I was 17. But now that the kids are grown it is like OK what happened and then I finally found my answer MY PRAYERLESSNESS so here I am learning how to pray Gods Word, Speak Gods Word and deal with the madness that I am surrounded with satan is wrecking havoc in the lives of my husband and children and I am in the process of learning but God is faithful He has let me keep my mind. So I am try to sign up for the Bible study Being more than a good Bible study girl but it sends me to the quitzilla one please help. Nancy

    • Lysa TerKeurst says

      Hi, Nancy!

      We are so glad you stopped by! The study of Lysa’s book “Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl” is already over. I am so sorry you missed it! Nicki’s book “5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit” is our next online Bible study. We hope you will still read Lysa’s book and find encouragement… or even sign up for this new study!

      Lysa’s Ministry Team

  28. says

    I have been a Christian since 1967, and serving God has been a calling. I worked with the ‘Faith Mission’ founded by a Mr George Govan. I left to get married, having married into the Methodist Church, and as I worshipped God I saw a lot of double standards, for me this has taken its toll. I long to know the closeness of God again, I kow He has not left me but I feel such a failure at times especially as a minister’s wife. People within some circuits do not accept me, I feel alone at times, also the love of my life seems to believe untruths about me and my witness and character has been assassinated, I have felt so often like giving up and I call on you to help as at times I feel I am loosing my faith bit by bit. I believe God has got me to make contact with you as I have a longing in my heart and life to serve God and be fully anointed, God worshiping Christian He wants me to be. Please help me. I have faced verbal abuse, belittling, and have reached a sense of fear for my life and my future. Please help me to get to love and feel God’s Presence again.