1.28.2016

Lord, protect me from the world’s wonky view of love

I have a sign displayed in my home. It reminds me, redirects me, and protects me from the world’s wonky views of love.

Our love isn’t a romantic movie where I wake up in full makeup in a pristine house and nothing on my to-do list but for my husband and I to take a little canoe ride through a pond filled with swans.

Here’s the thing about love. It’s sometimes complicated. Sometimes blissful.

Some moments are incredible. Others incredibly difficult.

Love breaks us. It makes us. It shakes out all the good and bad.

It’s the most beautifully painful sacred surprise you could ever hope to grow through.

It’s a package deal. It’s a gift that doesn’t always feel like a gift. It’s the thing that makes me less selfish. And gracious, I need to be less selfish.

I want the best version of love. So I need to bring the best version of me to my love, my man, each day.

And choose to make our love a little less complicated.

A little more sweet.

A little more inviting for the best version of him to take my hand and whisper, “Hey babe, we can do this.”

Yes. Love is a choice. One we are still making. And as a visual statement of the vows we exchanged 23 years ago, we keep this simple reminder in a place where we constantly see it.

The “We Still Do” sign and frame are now available in the Proverbs 31 Ministries bookstore along with some of my other favorite marriage resources. Click here to find out more.

And if decorating your home with hints of your love story sounds painful because you’ve been begging God for a sign that He hears your prayers for your marriage, He does. I felt so strongly to share this with you today. He hears and He cares. I’d love to share a free 5-day devotional with you called Praying Boldly for Your Marriage. Sign up here.

Comments

  1. Claudia says

    Hi, Lysa,
    Thank you for writing so well, it is one of your gifts indeed.

    Your writing helps me to re-focus.
    It is as you said, love shakes the good and the bad.
    Thank you, Lysa!!!
    Love from Boston, MA.

  2. Laura W Smith says

    God is ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME, and so was your devotional email today. It is impossible to tell you in such a short space how the Lord has reduced me and my marriage of almost 14 years. It has been a LONG, LONG road of heartache and sorrow with some splashes of joy but I truly believed at one point that there’s was just NO WAY things could change. BUT GOD. ONLY GOD. And He started by changing me. I’m sure you have heard so many God stories before and yet I feel compelled to tell mine and now it has become my ministry. Truly, we’ve only just begun!!!

  3. Laura W Smith says

    Oops reduced should be resurrected! Not sure why or how my phone overrode my spelling. Oops!

  4. Rachelle Craig says

    Thank you for the 5 day devotional. My husband ordered the We Still Do sign for me last year, and I absolutely cherish it! I would recommend every married couple to have one. It is such a blessing not only on the days things are wonky, but also on the days things are amazing!

  5. Barb says

    tried to sign up for the pray for my marriage 5 day devo but it wouldn’t let me because I’m from Canada 🙁

    • Lysa TerKeurst says

      Hi, Barb!

      Thanks so much for asking! When you sign up, you should be able to put ‘international’ for the state option, and then you can also choose your country. After that, you shouldn’t have any problems getting it. 🙂

      Hope this helps!

      Blessings,
      Lysa TerKeurst Ministry Team

  6. Candy says

    I was married for 45 years, with a man who was constantly cheating. 2 years ago he told me he was moving out and I learned that he had been having an affair with a woman half his age for eight years. I was devastated, many sleepless nights, many tears, brokenhearted, since the day he left, I prayed to God to bring my husband back home; I still love him; but 2 years later I’m not so sure I want him back. I became a Christian in 2005, and have been taking many bible studies, and I strongly believe that if it hadn’t been for me to want to have a relationship with God, it would have been harder for me. It is hard to find yourself alone after so many years of marriage hoping for your husband to look to his side and realize all the hurt he caused, ask for forgiveness and promise that there would be no more cheating. I now ask myself, how and why I put up with it for so long. I have no answer. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” is constantly in my mind. and praying for him and his new relationship, believe me it has help.
    Blessings

    Candy

  7. Lynda says

    Just want to encourage all you lovely ladies out there who are struggling in their marriages. I’ve been married to a not-yet-believer (as my friend has always insisted on calling him) for almost 21 years, because I thought I knew best and didn’t listen to God and to people who warned me against marrying him. We’ve been on a really difficult journey the last 18 months or so, which came to a head a couple of weekends ago – it got very messy and culminated in my walking out. Since them God has answered prayer and turned our lives upside down! My husband is now a believer, all my anger, fear and hurt of the past many years have been taken away, and we’re like teenagers in love – with one another and with God. I’ll admit there have been times when I’ve given up praying, because I thought God would never do this, but what He has done is just so overwhelming and amazing! And if God can work such a miracle in my life, He can in yours! SO please don’t give up, keep praying, keep trusting God, He WILL come through for you, because He loves you soooooo much. You’ve just got to give it all over to Him and wait on His timing. And that’s the hard bit, but it’s definitely worth it!

  8. says

    When I met my husband, he couldn’t speak the first word in English and I couldn’t do more than say ‘Hello, how are you?’ in Spanish but some how we stuck. I still can’t remember how we actually communicated before he learned English…
    I DO know that the best decision I ever made, aside from accepting Jesus as my Savior, was to hang on to him! It has been the best ride and, Lord willing, it will continue to be for many more years. We will celebrate our 9th year together in May but only feels like we met yesterday. He is still my man and my love for him has grown so much bigger during these years.
    Thank you, Lysa, for your encouragement and wisdom and sweetness!

  9. says

    This is beautifully written, Lysa, and so relatable. I’m so thankful for a Lord who protect us from this world’s wonkiness, and for the guidance He provides in how we can protect ourselves. So much of our perspective is shaped by influences that we choose to allow into our hearts and minds. Thank you for this encouragement.

  10. Rita P says

    Lysa, I heard a small devotional that you shared about being gentle with people on WPER, Positive Hits, radio station. You asked us to send comments about it. I LOVED IT. BUT, I find that I am more gentle with others than with myself. This is something that I am working on: being gentle with myself and sometimes being a little selfish. You see, right now, I am underemployed and now battling cancer. Last year (pre-cancer), I wanted to join a Bible study on “The Best Yes” and went to the first session. But I had so much on my plate, God laid on my heart that the “Best Yes” in this moment, this circumstance, was to just say, “No.” I think this will always be love lesson for me, being gentle with myself. Thank you, Lysa, for ALL that you do for HIS Kingdom!

  11. Crystal says

    Lisa,
    Today I bought your book walking in faith, I can say I could relate way too well to your story of your conversation with the women’s speaker. One too many times have I been in that position . Sometimes I question if I have let Satans lies, as you described, get to me, and it’s too late.
    This blog today brings pain and yet joy to me. The past few months my husband and I went through the hardest time in our life. He is a recovering porn addict. over the summer many truths came out about his past . We dealt with much pain, anger and he even lost his job through the process. Many ask why I have stayed but all I can say is by Gods grace and forgiveness. The night things came out I was ready to leave my husband, but I prayed and God said He had this. There comes a moment in life you have to just raise your hands up and say Jesus take the wheel! I was scared many things could of happened this summer and yet with the unknown ahead of us I trusted God and for the first time I felt at peace. For the first time I didn’t care what people thought . My husband and I started marriage counseling we grew so close to each other. He is truly my best friend now! I’m not sure if I could have said that 2 years ago. We have grown closer to God and each other. I’m not sure many women would have dealt with what I did but I am so glad I did.
    So back to your blog…as husband and wife we choose to say ” I do” everyday. At the beginning of the summer it was so painful to look at our wedding photo, somedays I wold cover it up saying I messed myself up that day. But today I can say that was the day God began a testimony . I know I could not have said “I do” on our wedding day if I knew the pain that would happen In just a few short years, but I think that’s why God doesn’t tell us our whole future And I’m thankful for that!
    So I feel like I’m in my wAiting stage for ministry. I love worship I love helping women grow closer to God but I just to question is it too late. 3 boys all under 5 plus a new business owner trying to make ends meet since my husband lost his job and yet I feel such a push today to go forward with ministry hence why I got your book today. I’m trying to walk by faith I guess I’m inpatient, lol.

  12. says

    Hi Lysa,
    Thank you so much for your ministry! Love this post. We truly will get back what we give out ourselves! It’s all about love! Blessings

    straightpathinspiration.com

  13. Kris says

    I am so grateful for the love and grace you share with us all. I was wondering what you and your teams thoughts are about a wife’s role to submit under her husband. I have seen several articles recently (written by men) describing scenarios of women being manipulative, condesending, and not knowing there place. One article went as far as implying that a divorced woman derserved to be poor and struggle as she did not circum to her husband’s demands. Another described a scenario of a wife struggling with her emotions about her child driving as being unjust and disrespectful. I describe these two because the underline issue was lack of effective communication and Godly love toward each other. Lately, I have seen several comments and posts that continue to “put a wife” in her place and that being under the “rule” of her husband. I understand that as husband and wife we are to submit upon each other. A husband is the head of the family. He is to love his wife as God inteneded. He is to protect and lead his family down a righteous path. A wife is to love and respect her husband as he is the head of the house.

    What I don’t understand is why must a wife be considered undersireable or disrepectful for sharing her emotions with her husband? Aren’t we just as human and flawed as our husbands? Why our we deemed disrespectful for sharing concerns but our husbands can behave in the same manner and it is acceptable? Why can’t we share our emotions (within reason) without being prescuted as ungodly toward our spouse?

    Women do so much for their families and others. We learn to provide strength to those we love and care for. Why is it that a “bad day” of expressing frustration, anger, or fear such a sinful act toward our spouses? What is wrong with a husband realizing his wife’s actions is a sign she is struggling? If he is her “umbrella” of protection … why can’t he realize her actions is a “cry” for him to “cover” her with his love?

    I have asked the writers of the other articles on why they can not encourage a husband to support his wife and analysis the deeper issues of the “harmful” behaviors to the marriage. I doubt I will recieve a response for the writers and that is okay. However, knowing the picture that is being painted by said writers… I come to you asking…. what would be your perspective of when a wife is being disrespectful to her spouse? What suggestions would you have for her? What suggestions would you have for the couple?

    In my opinon, it seems that communication is the biggest struggle for couples. They don’t know how to be open (truely open) with each other. They don’t know how to resolve conflicts. Most of all…. they seem to let pride rule their hearts instead of God.

    I am sorry if this is not the right place to share these thoughts. I tried to find another place on your website to message as I would really like to hear the thoughts from a Proverbs 31 perspective. Hope to hear your message soon.

    God Bless.