All relationships can be difficult at times, but they should not be destructive to our well-being. Learn the difference between a destructive pattern and a difficult season with this free resource, “Is This Normal? 15 Red Flags You May Be Missing in Your Relationships.”

l

The 5 Best Things to Say to a Friend Today

March 5, 2014

I remember sitting in the smelly middle school gym like it was yesterday. I’d survived the awkward and much dreaded moments of changing into my PE uniform in the girls’ locker room. And now I sat on the hard bleachers listening to the squeak of tennis shoes, the uneven cadence of bouncing balls, the teacher’s sharp sounding whistle, and the girls laughing behind me.

They weren’t laughing with me. That would have meant I was accepted and wanted and invited in to be a part of their group.

No, they were laughing at me. This meant I was not accepted, not wanted, and not invited in to be a part of their group.

I was the subject of their gossip. I was the punch line of their jokes.

And it hurt.

I imagine you know that hurt too. Change the scenery and the people and this same hurt can be found in most of our lives.

When your coworkers all make plans to go out to lunch but somehow your name was left off the email chain.

When that other preschool mom said, “Several of us moms are concerned with how your child seems so aggressive on the playground.”

When everyone else’s social media makes marriage look dreamy and uber-romantic as you’re crying yourself to sleep at night feeling like the loneliest married woman alive.

Then a friend steps in with a gentle smile and a few simple words of encouragement and suddenly, you’re not alone.

I want to be that friend for you today.

In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel a bit knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the five best things one can say to a friend?

You’re wonderful.

Me too.

I’ll pray.

I’ll share.

Come over.

The 5 Best Things to Say to a Friend Today

These aren’t incredibly profound but oh so needed. You know what I mean?

And if we need to hear these simple kind words, then might we dare to believe someone near us needs to hear them as well? I think a lot of us girls are terribly lonely.

So, imagine what good these words could do. Loving someone else is one of the most God-honoring things we can do today. After all, we’re reminded in Scripture that all the commandments can be summed up and fulfilled if we will love others (Romans 13: 8-10).

I came up with this list of 5 best things to say to a friend from Romans 12: 12-13 in a section appropriately titled, “Love.”

1. “You’re wonderful.”
(Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope…”)

What a loving thing it would be to infuse joyful hope into your friend’s life by reminding her of ways you think she is wonderful.

The world is quick to tell us girls of all the many ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.

So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways you notice that she’s a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful coworker, a wonderful person.

2. “Me too.”
(Romans 12:12, “…Patient in affliction…”)

What a gift it is to remind our friend that we all have afflictions, hurts, faults, and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.

The patient friend is one who freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. “Me too” acknowledges that I’m no better than you but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we’re all in this together.

3. “I’ll pray.”
(Romans 12:12, “…Faithful in prayer.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to express to a friend that you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have a friend that prays for me so faithfully. She texts me Scriptures that she prays over my life.

But here’s what I really love about her. She doesn’t just pray about my situations. She prays me through them. She’s willing to circle my circumstances over and over with her prayers.

I honestly don’t know how she hasn’t gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me… but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.

4. “I’ll share.”
(Romans 12:13, “Share with God’s people in need…”)

When we notice a need in a friend’s life, might we be willing to step in and at least be a small part of the solution?

I have a friend who literally lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a “Job (like the man in the Bible) Party.” Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.

We didn’t even come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.

5. “Come over.”
(Romans 12:13, “Practice hospitality.”)

Throwing open our front door to welcome a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There’s just something about relationships that are less pixilated where we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice… and talk. Really talk.

Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.

Yes, these are 5 great things, maybe even the best things to say to a friend. Yes?

You’re wonderful.

Me too.

I’ll pray.

I’ll share.

Come over.

So, today, I pause and say them to you. Now, I haven’t quite figured out how to do that last one. It would be such a hoot trying to fit you all in my kitchen, but I sure am dreaming about it. What a crazy fun time we’d have.

My only request is that you bring one of those awful pictures from middle school you keep hidden away in the back of your closet. Then we can laugh and bond and wonder together why we ever thought it was okay to do our hair that way.

You May Also Like…
When life demands too much from you

When life demands too much from you

For the girl going to bed tonight feeling … Weighed down by fear and worst-case scenario thinking. Consumed with anxiety because of situations you don’t know how to fix. Stressed out, maxed out and worn out by all that’s on your plate right now. Hold on to this...

If you’ve been feeling alone in this season …

If you’ve been feeling alone in this season …

When the very people you thought you could count on hurt you … When it seems like no one understands you or the struggles you’re facing … When you're surrounded by others but still feel incredibly lonely … It’s tempting to wonder, Jesus, are You here? Do You care? Oh,...

Am I missing the red flags in my relationships?

When navigating difficulties in a relationship, do you ever find yourself asking, "Is this normal? Is every relationship this hard?" I understand these challenges and have also asked the same questions. But after years of personal counseling and extensive time spent...

77 Comments
  1. veronica

    Hey Lysa,
    Thanks soo much for such a great encouragement. I know how it feels when people laugh and say unkind words :/ but thank to God we dont have to live under that pressure anymore we have been set free from our old selfs and we are now transform into the person we were meant to be since the time our God created us before the foundation of the earth!! 🙂 Be blessed lysa.

    Reply
    • Nico Smith

      I am proud to call myself a “friend” to anyone who may be in need of some kind attention. Though I have a disability, I use what God has given me to be a source of encouraging …words to people who may be in need of a touch from the Lord while they’re gon thrugh their own trials in lfe. “I remember sitting in the smelly middle school gym like it was yesterday. I’d survived the awkward and much dreaded moments of changing into my PE uniform in the girls’ locker room. And now I sat on the hard bleachers listening to the squeak of tennis shoes, the uneven cadence of bouncing balls, the teacher’s sharp sounding whistle, and the girls laughing behind me.

      They weren’t laughing with me. That would have meant I was accepted and wanted and invited in to be a part of their group.

      No, they were laughing at me. This meant I was not accepted, not wanted, and not invited in to be a part of their group.

      I was the subject of their gossip. I was the punch line of their jokes.

      And it hurt.

      I imagine you know that hurt too. Change the scenery and the people and this same hurt can be found in most of our lives.

      When your coworkers all make plans to go out to lunch but somehow your name was left off the email chain.

      When that other preschool mom said, “Several of us moms are concerned with how your child seems so aggressive on the playground.”

      When everyone else’s social media makes marriage look dreamy and uber-romantic as you’re crying yourself to sleep at night feeling like the loneliest married woman alive.

      Then a friend steps in with a gentle smile and a few simple words of encouragement and suddenly, you’re not alone.

      I want to be that friend for you today.

      In the midst of whatever it is that’s made your heart feel a bit knocked off-kilter, can I whisper what I believe are the five best things one can say to a friend?

      You’re wonderful.

      Me too.

      I’ll pray.

      I’ll share.

      Come over.

      These aren’t incredibly profound but oh so needed. You know what I mean?

      And if we need to hear these simple kind words, then might we dare to believe someone near us needs to hear them as well? I think a lot of us girls are terribly lonely.

      So, imagine what good these words could do. Loving someone else is one of the most God-honoring things we can do today. After all, we’re reminded in Scripture that all the commandments can be summed up and fulfilled if we will love others (Romans 13: 8-10).

      I came up with this list of 5 best things to say to a friend from Romans 12: 12-13 in a section appropriately titled, “Love.”

      1. “You’re wonderful.”
      (Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope…”)

      What a loving thing it would be to infuse joyful hope into your friend’s life by reminding her of ways you think she is wonderful.

      The world is quick to tell us girls of all the many ways we fall short. We are hyperaware of our faults and frailties.

      So, what a precious gift to remind a friend of specific ways you notice that she’s a wonderful friend, a wonderful mom, a wonderful Jesus girl, a wonderful wife, a wonderful coworker, a wonderful person.

      2. “Me too.”
      (Romans 12:12, “…Patient in affliction…”)

      What a gift it is to remind our friend that we all have afflictions, hurts, faults, and tender places. We all get sick both emotionally and physically.

      The patient friend is one who freely gives grace because she so desperately needs it herself. “Me too” acknowledges that I’m no better than you but together we can get stronger. It is such a loving and disarming admission that we’re all in this together.

      3. “I’ll pray.”
      (Romans 12:12, “…Faithful in prayer.”

      Wouldn’t it be wonderful to express to a friend that you will absolutely be faithful in your prayers for her? I have a friend that prays for me so faithfully. She texts me Scriptures that she prays over my life.

      But here’s what I really love about her. She doesn’t just pray about my situations. She prays me through them. She’s willing to circle my circumstances over and over with her prayers.

      I honestly don’t know how she hasn’t gotten tired of praying for some of my same issues for so long. I get so tired of me… but she never does. What a gift. A gift I know I must pass on by being faithful in my prayers for others.

      4. “I’ll share.”
      (Romans 12:13, “Share with God’s people in need…”)

      When we notice a need in a friend’s life, might we be willing to step in and at least be a small part of the solution?

      I have a friend who literally lost every possession she owned due to a chemical spill in her home. So, we threw her a “Job (like the man in the Bible) Party.” Each of us brought a few things to help her family start over.

      We didn’t even come close to fully meeting their financial needs. But we helped build a foundation of restoration and gave this family the assurance that God was working on their behalf.

      5. “Come over.”
      (Romans 12:13, “Practice hospitality.”)

      Throwing open our front door to welcome a friend inside the sacred space of our home is such a needed gesture. There’s just something about relationships that are less pixilated where we get eye-to-eye, voice-to-voice… and talk. Really talk.

      Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.

      Yes, these are 5 great things, maybe even the best things to say to a friend. Yes?

      You’re wonderful.

      Me too.

      I’ll pray.

      I’ll share.

      Come over.

      So, today, I pause and say them to you. Now, I haven’t quite figured out how to do that last one. It would be such a hoot trying to fit you all in my kitchen, but I sure am dreaming about it. What a crazy fun time we’d have.

      My only request is that you bring one of those awful pictures from middle school you keep hidden away in the back of your closet. Then we can laugh and bond and wonder together why we ever thought it was okay to do our hair that way.”~Lysa TerKeurst t Friendships can be crazy things when you’re a teenager. as motions can go up and down, I think. One minute, you ♥ what each othe does,even are willing to help each other…the next, yu are tired of each other. Friendships arelike emotions because they come and go.
      We need to take time to give our friends the encouragement they need t get through whatever craziness they may be going through. Telling them how much we love them, even taking time to laugh is hat it’sall about. When they’re hurting for whatever reason, wed to shpassion. II If our friend’s in need f pryer, we should pray for them, no matter what we may be doing.
      Sharing what God has done in our lives is something that friends can do at all times. I know that hearing what we’ve been through can be encouraging to help someone else overcome their own challenges in life. I ♥ being a source of encouragement to people, wherever I may roam.

      Reply
      • Demetrice

        We as women just want to know we’re not alone in this world that can be a bit hard on us.

        Reply
  2. Chris Carter

    I WANNA COME OVER!!!! FIT ME IN YOUR KITCHEN!! I will surely bring some home made muffins! And by home made- I mean add water to the mix and make it in my home!

    🙂

    LOVE this Lysa. Your such a gift.

    What precious encouragement we can take for ourselves and use for others…

    Reply
    • Nico Smith

      Lysa, your devotions are awesome. Want to team up on writing one?

      Reply
  3. Linda

    Hi Lysa

    Thank you so much for the wonderful gift you have in your words of encouragement. I remember exactly feeling that way at school and am touched by your words today as feeling very low; like my husband’s life is so full of what he is doing and nothing of us together. I know God is on the case but so so hard at the moment and I go from up and down and up and down; just a rollercoaster. But thank you so so much. Sadly not in the States but the UK so can’t come over!!!! God bles you in your work.

    Reply
  4. Elissa P

    Thank you Lysa for this powerful remainder to show love to other. It is never a easy road in finding a good godly friend and sometimes when you are the only one giving and giving it gets hard to keep it up. However, God tell us to love in deed and in truth, not in tongue.

    I have learn that over the years, it easier to love other when you share with them and pray for them without expecting them to do the same for you.

    Peace to all.

    Reply
  5. Danyel

    Lysa
    I am truly praying for you and your family. Thank you sweet sister for obeying our Father and sharing your heart with all of us. To God alone be great Glory. Maranatha! Phil 4.

    Reply
  6. Meg

    Thank you for this. I needed a reminder to reach out and simply be a friend, even when I’m feeling lonely. We all need encouragement in our lives.

    Reply
  7. Tracy Venable

    I so needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for this encouraging message.

    Reply
  8. pam

    Just what i needed to hear, Lysa. thanks for allowing God to use you in a miraculous way to reach women everywhere. you are an inspiration and a blessing to so many!

    Reply
  9. kl

    Thank you so very much!! ❤

    Reply
  10. Pam

    “Over broken bread we share broken hearts. And then we celebrate the parts of us that are still intact. We reach across the table and across our differences to grab hold of the glorious bond of friendship.” ~ This dear, Lysa, is most beautifully written. Fellowship, I’m afraid, is becoming lost in our social media saturated world. May we remember to turn off our gadgets and instead turn toward each other. Thank you for this post. I definitely have a few pics from middle school that I’m still shaking my head at! LOL!!!

    Reply
  11. Cathy Staurovsky

    My Dear sweet Lysa,
    I can’t thank you enough for this post. I do a 2 mile in home faith walk everyday for my husband, my family, my church family, my friends and you and all the women in the world that may be going through just what you posted about and more. I walk for spiritual, physical, emotional and monetary fitness. I pray while I walk the 2 miles to a Leslie Sansone DVD. The Lord has brought me to do this for quite awhile now. Please keep me in prayer because I will be having a right hip replacement on March 11. Until I am totally healed and back on my feet, my faith walk will take a back seat for walking but the walk will continue through my prayers and words and heart. God bless you and your family. I love reading your posts. What great sisters in Christ we are through the love of the Lord and your posts. Thank you! Amen

    Love, Cathy Staurovsky, Stratford, CT

    Reply
    • Eva

      Cathy what a wonderful idea : to do an in home faith walk praying for all those people. I have some Leslie Sansone’s vcrs but my player is broken.
      I want to wish you a ‘good’ surgery and speedy healing for your hip replacement next week. Taking a hint from Lisa’s devotional, I’ve noted your name and the date of your surgery. God bless you.

      Reply
    • Donna Heitman

      Cathy,
      I love the idea of an in home faith walk. I get really bored on the treadmill and am tired of the media that I have been using to get me through my few miles. I am going to use your idea and allot the time that I spend walking to pray for others. I put your name and the date of your surgery on my phone calendar with an alarm, I will be praying for you.

      Reply
  12. Dyana Bounds

    Love this! You are such a blessing! Love your willingness to be so real and open with your life. So encouraging!!

    Reply
  13. Melissa

    This is great! Thank you for these words of wisdom as I have several friends going through tough situations right now. These words will help me and help them. 🙂

    Reply
  14. Nancy S

    Oh how I can remember those painful days in school, not athletic, not super smart, not super talented, not a tough girl, not quite fitting into any of various groups of kids. I am SO thankful that I now know we are NOT supposed to fit into this world, we are passing through to our final destination. I still feel that pain, sometimes, on Sunday’s after church. Lots of couples go out for lunch and I often feel left out, going home to eat alone because my husband works on Sunday. Truth be told, I can’t afford to eat out, I have food allergies that limit where I can eat out and I am on a healthy eating journey so I don’t really want to eat out. What I would like, though, is to feel included, asked and given the option of going or declining. I love these suggestions and plan to use them to reach out to others and take the light off of me 🙂 Thank you Lysa and God Bless you!

    Reply
  15. Cindy

    This is neat! Thank you so much. I like how you used Romans 12:12, 13.

    Reply
  16. Tammy g.

    Thank you Lisa for your words today and sharing what God has placed on your heart to share. Yes I feel that way a lot. Alone in a room full of people. Looked over. Thank you again for sharing.

    Reply
  17. Nikki

    Such a true blog! Loved the points that you made and I totally agree those are so important at times! Simple gestures of love!
    That would be funny to bring those hidden, what was I thinking, pictures! Fun times with great women!

    Reply
  18. Crystal Storms

    “Over broken bread we share broken hearts” – beautifully put. I loved the way you broke down Scripture and make it applicable to my daily life – pinning it : )

    Reply
  19. Jenny

    Wow….thanx! As I read this I prayed along for a friend like this and to BE a friend like this. i have been going to a new church, quite small, but blessed, since November. I have jumped in with both feet and have volunteered for service…both things that promote relationships. This church breaks bread together weekly before midweek church activities, and monthly at a fellowship potluck. ANYWAY…I am making friends, but am starving to get to know a few women more. As soon as I finished this devotion, a sweet women called and invited me to her home for “card-making” next week. Not only is it a blessing to me, but I want to model how she draws women into the fold…. <3 An answer to prayer!!

    Reply
  20. leslie

    Lysa, what an amazing post. I shared and spoke life into one of my friends/leader “things to say to a friend” Great reminder. Thanks for your soft spoken yet powerful words. Be blessed. Love, Leslie

    Reply
  21. Rita

    Lysa, THANK YOU!!! You’re right. These things are the things that I need to hear right now and will probably need to hear again very soon. What horrendous things words can be; but when used kindly and in a timely manner, they can be such a blessing!!! Thank you, my sister.

    Reply
  22. Justine White

    Thank you Lysa, for using your talents of understanding the Bible in every day ways and sharing, like the Sister I never had. Your wisdom touches my life often, hearing you on KLOVE and reading your blogs. Know that you are never alone and that all your efforts are being multiplied 10 fold. Thank you for sharing. I am sending a mental hug and giggle along with the thoughts of those pics….too much hair spray and neon in mine! God Bless you dear!

    Reply
  23. Angela

    Thank-you.

    Reply
  24. Natalie

    I’m enjoying your blog. Just subscribed, if that’s what you call it. I’m reading your “Made to Crave” and loving it. Would it be okay to post an occasional statement from it on facebook as long as I give credit?

    Reply
  25. Phyllis Nichols Gutierrez

    Thank you Lysa. I needed this today. I remember those days growing up and even now as an adult I miss times with friends and sometimes feel that I do not really fit in. It is hard being a widow at 55, with a grown child when all of your friends are married with children. But I know that God has a plan and part of that plan has been connecting with the wonderful women of OBS and our online community.

    It would be wonderful to gather around your kitchen table and laugh, share old photos and just hang out.
    Blessings

    Reply
    • Eva

      Bless you Phyllis.

      Reply
  26. sheri

    Ok I was really going to post a high school pic… lol I needed this today. I ride on the truck with my fiancee and its hard. He sleeps and I sleep while he drives… I do talk with friends on the phone sometimes and my family but it’s not the same. ThNk you… z
    Sheri

    Reply
  27. Ellen

    Thanks, Lysa. It is important to remember to be a friend first.

    Reply
  28. Sophronia Walter

    Thank you for this! I have been feeling so lonely lately and wondered if anyone cares.

    Reply
  29. linda

    words that are balm to my middle school self.

    Reply
  30. Pam

    Thank you for this article I have MS the unseen disease so it is hard for my immediate family to understand what I am going through…there are many days I feel alone However I have always known God has a plan for my life. I have precious lady who was in my bible study who is real she wasn’t formilar with MS so she got on the internet so she could understand what I was going through, until you have been there no one knows how priceless her effort to just understand. My kids say they understand but ridicule the things I say and how I feel or share an opinion they mock me. So know I feel I have not only lost my heath but my kids….don’t get me wrong I know they love me and are there for me, but they have no idea how hurtful they can be with their words…it is then satan makes me feel very much alone… however I choose to give up my job and use my time to invest in my beautiful grand daughters instead of investing in our retirement. Lets just say those two precious baby girls are the light of my day and keep me moving and I wouldn’t take nothing for that opportunity:-) So Thank you for reminding me I am never alone! When I was first diagnosed I felt strong and had confidence that God was walking with me, but as more symptoms affect my emotions and my fatique gets worse and it is my friends who seem to be more concerned about my wellbeing than my children I have a hard time understanding and that loneliness rears it’s ugly head! I so appreciate the positive encouragement from your post…God Bless You!

    Reply
  31. Elaine Ledlow

    Thanks for the uplift! It would be fun to all get together in your kitchen but I am thinking we might wind up in the backyard!

    Reply
  32. Shannon

    Thank you so much for always being uplifting, Lysa!! I saw you speak at the 2013 Women of Faith in Dallas and have been following your blogs ever since! My good friend (that attended the conference with me) and I have hit a rough patch and are currently not speaking … I care very deeply for her and pray every single day for her– I miss my friend. I’m at a loss as to how to repair the friendship at this point, but God continues to give me signs that I should not give up. Almost every day you post something that encourages me in this situation. Thank you so much for all you do!!!! You’re a true blessing!

    Reply
  33. Becky

    And what do you do when that friend who has said any or all of those things, is the one that has hurt you? Which is where I’m at now. At the time I needed it, and my pain was not abt our friendship, my friend told me she loves me unconditionally and was always praying for me. And I needed to hear that from some one. But truth is, she never “likes” or comments on my statuses. She deletes herself from my tagged post but never does any of that with the “popular” people around church. So why me? And when I ask to go to lunch or something, she can only give me a few mins after church. Really?! When I ask abt the deleting herself from post I tag her in, she gives me an excuse then says it’s not just me. Thank you for bringing up my past. You say you’re a friend who can point me to Christ and you’ll stop me from going into those “pits”, but you bring it up. Basically I feel like she brought the pit to me or shoved me into it. How am I supposed to forget my past mistakes, when she can’t.

    Reply
  34. Debby

    Thanks, Lysa. I needed a friend today!

    Reply
  35. Aida

    Thank you Lysa! I would love you to come over with all the gals to visit the NY area. This was so encouraging and helpful to me this morning. Sometimes we don’t realize how much the little simple things can minister to our harts and the hearts of our friends. The women I come in contact with on a daily basis have sooooo much going on. Me included. It always blesses my heart tremendously when we are able to lift each other up, encourage each other and love each other to keep going on. Pointing them to Jesus is with the love He has shown me. Hope to see you soon!

    Reply
  36. Julie

    Thank you for this encouragement, Lysa. I can relate so well to what you’ve shared, I agree that a lot of women are lonelier than they care to admit, myself included. I’m tired of the superficial conversations I have with many “friends” at my church. In this period leading up to Easter, instead of giving something up, I’ve decided to take the challenge of encouraging one person each day, whether over email, text, card, phone, or in person. This blog entry provides the perfect template for doing that! We all live behind so many walls and with the popularity of social media, most people are just content to look at someone’s Facebook updates instead of reaching out and getting to the person underneath. I want to be that change this season!

    Reply
  37. Michelle Morton

    LOVED IT !!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  38. Lara's Laugh Lines

    What a BEAUTIFUL friend you are to so many women, Lysa! I love that your scripture based wisdom is simple & achievable by all. Romans 12:12 is my verse for 2014. I’m thinking I might add verse 13 as a booster! Thanks for sharing coffee with me this morning. Going to enjoy my second cup with the Lord. 🙂

    Reply
  39. Sarah

    Good morning, Lysa!

    Reply
  40. Paula McLane Jennings

    What a great post. And you are so right – we women need to stick together, lift each other up both in prayer and by words of encouragement.

    Reply
  41. Rosemarie

    I most certainly can relate to your childhood pains and the hurt of those actions and words. Thankful to Our Lord that you and I have been saved and set free from the past and can now enjoy a life filled with the Good Lord’s Grace, Mercy, Kindness and Love. Thank you for sharing your five BEST things to say to a person (friend). Very encouraging words to live by.

    Reply
  42. tawns

    the tears are flowing… the pain is so deep. i work in a church. most of the ladies my age are either retired or don’t work. they eat lunches together, have coffee together, go shopping together. they talk on the phone, they enjoy “girly stuff” together. i long to go. to be included. i have tried to invite them to lunch. to ask them to do things. but there are always excuses, other plans, etc. my heart is in pain… and i needed to hear this today. because i know, sometimes the only friend i have is the spirit of God and i don’t get to have someone with flesh on.

    Reply
  43. Donna

    Thank you Lysa. I’ve been praying about my words and asking God show me what to say and when. My mouth is a constant stumbling stone. God is faithful, I now have short phrases. Thank you. Friendship is one of the things i look foward to about hea en. The best will be that Jesus will be there and i will be with him and no yucky struggle with sin. However i get a big smile on my face thinking i’ll finally get share time with all my beautiful sisters! Will we laugh, giggle, share bread not sure, but i am sure looking foward to it!!!!!

    Reply
  44. Jay Popeye Harnish

    I’m the kid who had to carry his Bible on top of his books throughout school ~ so I get your story as somewhat akin to mine. I also like your scripture tie to change the potential of that occurring for someone else. It covers well on my DNA Love God, Love People, and Serve Both. Good blog; enjoyed.

    Feel free to look at some of my authored work; http://www.popeyeharnish.com

    Reply
  45. Annemarie

    Lysa, your message today was awesome. Its so simplistic. I love it. Why can’t it be that simple? We all need a pick me up as sisters in Christ…that’s all I have ever wanted to convey. Spread some Love and Lets get the word of Jesus out there…it doesn’t have to be so complicated ….Power in Numbers and Power in the Name of Jesus can Move Mountains!!! Amen!

    Reply
  46. Olivia

    I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now and get so much encouragement from it. Just wanted to say thanks and let you know your words mean a lot to me, especially this one. Thanks!

    Reply
  47. Caitlynn

    Those truly are some wonderful things to say, and a good reminder to say them more to the people we love. I do however have another one to add to the list: “I miss you.” I’ve sent a lot of time traveling in the past few years and wherever it go I always end up having to leave dear friends behind. To know that I’m missed can be one of the greatest things to hear when I’m lonely in a new place. Even when I’ve met new friends there, to hear that can be just the assurance I need that I haven’t lost the ones I’ve left. Hearing “I’m praying for you” can do a similar thing, letting me know my friend is thinking of me and cares, but hearing “I miss you” means that person actually wants to have me around. It means that in some way my friend benefits from me being in their life and that is one of the highest compliments I can think of.

    Reply
  48. Lynn Turner

    Lysa~ Your messages always seem yo speak to me. I love the encouragement from all of the Proverbs 31 girls, but somehow you and I seem to share the same struggles. I too am guilty of keeping my relationships superficial, you know, for protection… then wondering why I feel lonely much of the time. So, clearly I was compelled to respond. As I scrolled down to do so, many of the posts caught my eye. The pain leapt off of the page at me. I was crying reading the hurt of all the ladies. As of now I am going to risk being hurt, and ‘go out into the deeper water’. Thank you so much for all that you share!
    Lynn

    Reply
  49. lrf

    This encouraged me-helped me know I’m not the only lonely tired mom & wife out there. It is true I have cried much over my marriage but I must say God’s kept us together though at times it’s a thin thread holding us together. I have also read posts on someone’s wonderful husband and children and how they rose up early and baked bread and I’m thinking…bread…did. buy it ? Is the store bought bread still in the freezer -what about as supper??? And as I’m doing tasks I hear fighting from the kids-yeah not anything to post or share with anyone…but I’m learning to live this life God put me in-even though it’s uphill and don’t go on Facebook very much is another lesson learned:) My life is God’s and do what if I don’t bake bread at 5am-I play with my boys-snuggle and love and that’s enough:)

    Reply
  50. Samantha Livingston

    Love these. Especially the first. I think being appreciated helps us to step more fully into who we already are. Instead of feeling like we need to work up something different or better. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  51. Kim

    Found you via Amy Lynn Andrews Useletter.
    A beautiful and welcoming post!
    Ugh. It took me years and years to get over that left out feeling. I was a rural kid bussed into our local city high school where everyone had gone to school together since they were little. In addition to being an outsider, I was a bit on the heavy side and shy. Nothing like clingy, horizontal striped gym uniforms to give a girl a boost. Ack!

    Reply
  52. Judy

    I just experienced all of theses with my friend this past week. I am so blessed. Now just let me say:
    You’re wonderful!
    Me too!
    I’ll pray!
    I’ll share!
    Come over!
    Really!

    Reply
  53. Ruann

    Thank you for all of the wonderful insights and Scripture that you share with us. I love what you’ve said this time and how condensed your phrases are! Could I make one suggestion? Oftentimes we say, “I’ll pray,” but the friend has no idea if we really did and, I hate to say it, but feel like many well-intentioned friends say it but then don’t really pray. I would love the words to be, “Let’s pray,” meaning you stop everything and pray right then and there for your friend. When others have done this for me, it has been so powerful. I’m working on getting better at it, but love to do it, esp. with my poor memory.

    Reply
  54. Jo Crews

    THANK YOU so much for sharing these and for sharing “heart to heart.” Absolutely wonderful — and needed by us women 🙂

    Reply
  55. cristin

    So needed this. Thank you.

    Reply
  56. Betsy @ BPhotoArt.com

    Thank you for sharing this; sometimes we forget that it’s important to let others know we are *there* and understand. Great “5 things” reduction to help us remember.

    Reply
  57. Tracy

    Don’t really have any friends. None close by, anyway. I ran them all off with my sadness when my husband left almost 5 years ago. I do try to be a good friend when the opportunity comes my way. I will remember these words. Thank you, thank you.

    Reply
    • rose

      Dear Tracy, wishI lived close to you. I would say come over for tea or coffee. You are wonderful. Be healed of broken heart. Hugs.

      Reply
    • Robin

      Dear Tracy, I too feel your pain of not having many friends. My husband was a cheater for all the years of our marriage. The few friends I do have are so treasured to me…but my best friend being Jesus is all I really need. If you lived close to me, I’d have you over for some coffee or iced tea….we could chat and give Praise to God for all he has blessed us in our lives. Stay strong.

      Reply
  58. Kristi

    That’s so right on the spot! I am sure so many of us can relate. I definitely can! I love them all…..your comment for praying is beautiful! What a loving friend you have.

    Reply
  59. Michelle Durst

    Excellent; thank you & I agree. I am going to text my friend right now! Blessings~

    Reply
  60. Lori

    Lysa is there anyway I can get you to email me? Please I have been looking for a way to get in touch. Thank You so very much 🙂

    Reply
  61. Indomedia

    Today, I went to the beach front with my children.
    I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had
    to tell someone!

    Reply
    • Amy

      That’s hilarious!! Sounds just like something I would do!

      Reply
  62. Nicole

    I am personally going through a tough season. I have read Made to Crave and it has really helped me with my grieving process. Could you recommend a similar read geared more towards relationships and healing. Thank you.

    Reply
  63. Lindsay

    Does anyone know how applicable the Unglued Devotional is for a 13/14 yr old girl? She is an athlete at the club where I coach and is really struggling with how mean the girls at her school are to one another. She is normally full of life and her joy is outpouring to others, but she feels so lost and like there is no hope in the people that surround her for most of her day.

    Reply
  64. SHIRLEY SCHUY

    beautiful, forwarding this to my friends. thank you Lysa

    Reply
  65. Cat

    Wow there are times in my life I have been to busy or worried how my house looked. Yet the most inviting homes were the lived in homes of some of my precious friend’s. I need to work on this more and become a better friend.

    Reply
  66. Laura

    Thank you for these words today. I sit here crying over the loss of a dear friendship and a heart that yearns to have someone reach out and build another friendship like that. I pray that God would fill that void, that a new friend would step in and we could encourage each other.

    Reply
Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Let's Stay In Touch