Tuesday, January 7

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

I sat down to write some thoughts for a young friend getting married. I wanted these words to be encouraging but also realistic. I didn’t want to pen the typical “best wishes on your wedding day.” Wishes might be sweet for a church day full of flowers and white tulle but it takes a whole lot more for a marriage to go the distance.

So I wrote honest thoughts as they came to me:

Being married is incredibly difficult. Being married is amazing. Being married can seem impossibly hard. Being married can seem incredibly beautiful. There is no other person that can make me feel as frustrated as my husband can. There is no other person that can make me feel as loved as my husband can.

As these words tumbled out I wondered if my friend would think I was a bit crazy. One minute I painted marriage as blissful as a kite catching wind and rising to the sky. And the next minute as if the string had gotten caught in a thorny bush and sent the kite crashing to the ground with thuds of disappointment.

So which is it? Bliss or disappointment?

It’s a fragile blend of both.

In the end I crumpled up my original note and simply wrote this, “Determine to pray more words over your marriage than you speak about your marriage.” I tucked the note into the white envelope as I tucked that statement into my own heart.

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

I wrote that note not because it had been true for my relationship but because I suddenly realized I wanted it to be true.

The teacher being taught by her own written out lesson.

And you know what I’ve discovered in the weeks since? I haven’t been praying nearly enough for my marriage.

I think about things. I discuss things. I complain about things. I attempt to fix things. I work on things. I apologize for things. I want to change things. And then I discuss things some more.

But talking about things and thinking about things and working on things… these are not at all the same as praying for them.

In Luke 6:39 Jesus asks a very important but simple question, “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?” My husband and I need Jesus leading us, guiding us, teaching us, redirecting us, and showing us how to have a marriage that honors Him and each other.

I want my husband and I to spend a lot less time in the pit this year.

And I think praying more words over my marriage will certainly be key to this. What about you? Below are some lovely Scriptures I’m weaving into my prayers right now.

But, before we end this post, will you commit to doing something with me? Let’s assign ourselves the next step we want to take with getting more intentional in praying for our marriages. If I were you right now, I’d be so tempted to think this would be a good idea but then not take the next step. But thinking about doing this won’t change a thing.

Actually getting intentional about praying for something in my marriage today is the first step toward that marriage I’ve been dreaming of – the one that seemed so possible for Art and me twenty years ago in that church full of flowers and tulle.

Making sure I’m headed in that direction as a wife is only a few intentional prayers away.


“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters… You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light,” 2 Samuel 22:17 and 29.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone,” Colossians 4:6.

“What shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms,” Ephesians 6:12.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful,” Hebrews 10:23.

If you’re seeking more encouragement for your marriage, my book Capture His Heart can help. Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) said Capture His Heart is “enjoyable, encouraging, and effective – a book women will read with eagerness.”

Today, I’m giving away 5 copies of Capture His Heart. Leave a comment below telling me what Scripture you’re praying over your marriage.


  1. 2629

    Hebrews 10:23 is the scripture I am praying over for my marriage. It will be 6 years that I have been married and I am noticing recently that there are many hopes that I had for my marriage that have slowly dissipated. I don’t know when or how this happen, but the hope and vision and dreams I had before I got married and on my wedding day seem so distant in my memory and hard to recall. My prayer is that I will gain a new hope for my marriage, and that I will hold on to this hope and never let it slip away, because I know in my heart, mind and soul that God is bigger than any disappointments or unfulfilled expectation or promise.

  2. 2630

    Ephesians 6:12. After 39 1/2 years of marriage, I believe one of the hardest things for me to maintain in our relationship is to not have expectations for my husband. I must pray daily for him that he fulfills God’s will and for me that I will be a positive encouragement to his life. Expecting him to be a certain way toward me, to desire to help around to house, to spend money according to my financial plan, or to want to eat according to my desire for his health would only result in unpleasant conversation leading to hurt feelings for both of us, frustration and resentment. Eph. 6:12 says it all. Marriages can easily become Satan’s playground if our negative thinking is allowed to play out in our relationship. It is a spiritual battle for which prayer is the only preparation.

  3. 2631

    I read your blog, and besides you being a kindred spirit, and adopting, and loving your husband, I was so convicted about my doing everything but praying! I can’t believe it, after 33 years, still there…ugh. Thank God for mercy, and sisters in the Lord who encourage and challenge…It’s back to ‘may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer, and be anxious for nothing but in prayer with THANKSGIVING make your requests known to God (not to my husband), and the Peace that passes understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. So thankful for God’s kids out there in the blogosphere, Heaven’s going to be the most amazing party ever!

  4. 2632

    The one that keeps coming to mind for me is Ephesians 4:27, “Do not give the devil a foothold.” I have watched several marriages crumble around me lately, many of the same vintage as ours. When my friends tell me what happened, they often say that small irritations and grievances became bigger and bigger until the marriage could not withstand them. A few days ago, my husband and I had a fight and I was so angry I could hardly stand to look at him. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit brought that verse to mind. My flesh really wanted to stay angry, to justify my position and make him apologize, but God was persistent in putting that verse in my heart. I was–eventually–able to let go of my pettiness and anger and replace them with love and peace. The Word of God truly is living and active!

  5. 2633

    1 Corinthians 1:10
    Amplified Bible (AMP)10 But I urge and entreat you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in perfect harmony and full agreement in what you say, and that there be no dissensions or factions or divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in your common understanding and in your opinions and judgments.

    I know this is talking about the Church but I want to be in perfect unity with Husband. Thanks for the reminder to pray. The Holy Spirit has been showing me how I used to pray for my Husband but not as much now. I would call this confirmation :) Forgive me Lord and Thank You for reminding me to speak less and Pray more

  6. 2634

    I am praying Ephesians 6:12 ….There are so many things that can come from this scripture.. My husband and I seem to be at odds all the time and I know it is the enemy attacking us, but we let self interfere with what God has joined together.. I come back to the scriptures what God has joined together let no man seperate most days are good, yet when they’re bad they are horrible and we can’t seem to get in the same light as one another, we both know the word.. it just seems we are waring against each other instead of standing in the gap together and be who God called us to be together

  7. 2635

    I am claiming Colossians 4:6 for my marriage. I seem to get comfortable when talking with my husband, so my conversation isn’t seasoned with grace. . Thank you for your blog, I plan to write these verses down and apply them to my prayers!

  8. 2636

    Ephesians 6:12. Although, I have often prayed others and will now add these 5 to my list. My marriage of 8 years is in deep trouble, my husband has left, although we are talking and things are looking better. I am convinced that we are in a spiritual battle, and I am further convicted that God has given me an assignment to stay with this marriage (NOT my first, or his). I am praying daily for all prodigal spouses and the standers still waiting, please remember my husband and myself in your prayers as well :\

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