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Tuesday, January 7

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

I sat down to write some thoughts for a young friend getting married. I wanted these words to be encouraging but also realistic. I didn’t want to pen the typical “best wishes on your wedding day.” Wishes might be sweet for a church day full of flowers and white tulle but it takes a whole lot more for a marriage to go the distance.

So I wrote honest thoughts as they came to me:

Being married is incredibly difficult. Being married is amazing. Being married can seem impossibly hard. Being married can seem incredibly beautiful. There is no other person that can make me feel as frustrated as my husband can. There is no other person that can make me feel as loved as my husband can.

As these words tumbled out I wondered if my friend would think I was a bit crazy. One minute I painted marriage as blissful as a kite catching wind and rising to the sky. And the next minute as if the string had gotten caught in a thorny bush and sent the kite crashing to the ground with thuds of disappointment.

So which is it? Bliss or disappointment?

It’s a fragile blend of both.

In the end I crumpled up my original note and simply wrote this, “Determine to pray more words over your marriage than you speak about your marriage.” I tucked the note into the white envelope as I tucked that statement into my own heart.

5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

I wrote that note not because it had been true for my relationship but because I suddenly realized I wanted it to be true.

The teacher being taught by her own written out lesson.

And you know what I’ve discovered in the weeks since? I haven’t been praying nearly enough for my marriage.

I think about things. I discuss things. I complain about things. I attempt to fix things. I work on things. I apologize for things. I want to change things. And then I discuss things some more.

But talking about things and thinking about things and working on things… these are not at all the same as praying for them.

In Luke 6:39 Jesus asks a very important but simple question, “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?” My husband and I need Jesus leading us, guiding us, teaching us, redirecting us, and showing us how to have a marriage that honors Him and each other.

I want my husband and I to spend a lot less time in the pit this year.

And I think praying more words over my marriage will certainly be key to this. What about you? Below are some lovely Scriptures I’m weaving into my prayers right now.

But, before we end this post, will you commit to doing something with me? Let’s assign ourselves the next step we want to take with getting more intentional in praying for our marriages. If I were you right now, I’d be so tempted to think this would be a good idea but then not take the next step. But thinking about doing this won’t change a thing.

Actually getting intentional about praying for something in my marriage today is the first step toward that marriage I’ve been dreaming of – the one that seemed so possible for Art and me twenty years ago in that church full of flowers and tulle.

Making sure I’m headed in that direction as a wife is only a few intentional prayers away.

Scriptures:

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters… You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light,” 2 Samuel 22:17 and 29.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone,” Colossians 4:6.

“What shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms,” Ephesians 6:12.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful,” Hebrews 10:23.

If you’re seeking more encouragement for your marriage, my book Capture His Heart can help. Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) said Capture His Heart is “enjoyable, encouraging, and effective – a book women will read with eagerness.”

Today, I’m giving away 5 copies of Capture His Heart. Leave a comment below telling me what Scripture you’re praying over your marriage.

Discussion

  1. 2731
    Barbara says:

    Nearly three years separated and going through divorce proceedings and yet this still runs true. I really don’t know how to pray for my husband but still get times when i feel the need or to give him into God’s hands. I want to be a blessing instead of a curse despite the pain, hurt, and all i am going through and my children. I want reconciliation of our relationship whether he wants to be with me or not. It pains me when i hear other peoples stories esp as i have been or am in that place. One of my verses is;whatever is good, whatever is praise worthy, think of these things. I have learnt lots and am learning still to keep God my focus on him and to go to him as my first choice, not others.

    • 2732

      I’m standing in agreement with you, God is going to restore your marriage. God hate divorce!!

      • 2733

        Don’t give up! God can make things new still even if you have separated. He fell in love with you once he can again. My husband and I seperated 10 years ago for a short period of time and were reunited. Show him what he doesn’t have and missed. Pray for him to fall in love with you, the children and your marriage all over again. God didn’t bring you together to seperated you. Remember to always give grace as Christ gave us and move forward and leave the past in the past. Pray for reconciliation! Soak in prayer. Best wishes!

  2. 2734

    My husband & I both are having many medical issues and are trying to help each other Dailey.. Please direct up to what scripture we need to pray with to ask Gods help. His patience is very thin do to pain & I pray daily for help. I would really love to have your book..

  3. 2736
    candy shepard says:

    My husband and I have been married for 14 yes since November and we have both been relying on each other for our happiness and it has went the opposite way. We were on the verge of divorce a few Weekes ago and it really opened our eyes. We have been working things out and have been talking more. I realized how selfish I was being in expecting things from him that were impossible for him to give me. We have both had out share of problems and have been so judgmental toward each other. We finally realize that and have been working on tjis. GOD has been so amazing and I am truly blessed and thankful for all He has done. I am praying I saith 26:3&4 “Though wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because he trusteth in Thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.”

  4. 2737
    candy shepard says:

    My husband and I have been married for 14 yes since November and we have both been relying on each other for our happiness and it has went the opposite way. We were on the verge of divorce a few Weekes ago and it really opened our eyes. We have been working things out and have been talking more. I realized how selfish I was being in expecting things from him that were impossible for him to give me. We have both had out share of problems and have been so judgmental toward each other. We finally realize that and have been working on tjis. GOD has been so amazing and I am truly blessed and thankful for all He has done. I am praying I saith 26:3&4 “Though wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee because he trusteth in Thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.”

  5. 2738

    COLOSSIANS 4:6 THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I Like this scripture to help guide us to have meaniful and joyful conversation.

  6. 2739

    I like the Ephesians 4:6 verse for my marriage My husband and I both struggle with giving grace at the end of a tough dsy, but I struggle the most with it. It spoke to me!

  7. 2740

    God has been our foundation! And even when we go through hard times and thing look so bleak I know we are built on a rock so all Must be well. Phil 1v6. He who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it. God has not brought us this far to leave us.

  8. 2741

    Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…in all we’ve been through, we must lean on Christ for our strength to make it through.

  9. 2742

    Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path.”=)

  10. 2743
    Heather says:

    Proverbs 31:12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. This is my daily prayer for the man i love. (not married yet).Also pray that i will be a blessing to him,and That God will build His kingdom in this guy’s life.

  11. 2744
    Mary Easley says:

    My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We haven’t lived together in 6 years. He first moved to S.C. To get a better job after about the 3rd year of our marriage. We were having some blending problems because I have 3 children 2 of whom were school age. We were finally under the same roof again after a year and a half when we moved to Atlanta, Ga. We never seem to see eye to eye after that but we loved each other with great passion. After 3 years of living in Ga my husband accepted another job in FL. I didn’t want to go because I had resigned from a job to move to GA. A lot of things were happening after he moved. I was really alone because my son moved with him. I was angry and hurt. I eventually move to Kuwait and then to Germany where I am now. He’s back in TX. I filed for a divorce 2 years ago but didn’t go through with it because somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt that we would find our way back to each other. I’ve always said that if a God opened my heart again that I would say yes and amen. A few months ago I felt my heart changing for my husband but I was scared. I begin asking for prayer for my marriage as I believed God wanted me to. I’d never prayed for my marriage since we had been apart. For some stupid reason I didn’t want God to fix us I wanted my husband to. Needless to say after I told my husband about dreams that I had of us being together and happy again, he told me that he had moved on. It was a shock to me because we text everyday and talked on occasion. I had just gotten him to agree to go on a cruise with me for next year. He is adamant about not wanting our marriage to work because he now has someone else. In my spirit I’ve been told to be still and I’m trying to do that. I continue to pray for my marriage but I don’t have the scripture that I pray. My life is changing for the better because my relationship with God is growing. I don’t know if God will repair my marriage but I do know that He is changing me.

  12. 2745
    Mary Easley says:

    My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We haven’t lived together in 6 years. He first moved to S.C. To get a better job after about the 3rd year of our marriage. We were having some blending problems because I have 3 children 2 of whom were school age. We were finally under the same roof again after a year and a half when we moved to Atlanta, Ga. We never seem to see eye to eye after that but we loved each other with great passion. After 3 years of living in Ga my husband accepted another job in FL. I didn’t want to go because I had resigned from a job to move to GA. A lot of things were happening after he moved. I was really alone because my son moved with him. I was angry and hurt. I eventually move to Kuwait and then to Germany where I am now. He’s back in TX. I filed for a divorce 2 years ago but didn’t go through with it because somewhere deep down inside of me, I felt that we would find our way back to each other. I’ve always said that if a God opened my heart again that I would say yes and amen. A few months ago I felt my heart changing for my husband but I was scared. I begin asking for prayer for my marriage as I believed God wanted me to. I’d never prayed for my marriage since we had been apart. For some stupid reason I didn’t want God to fix us I wanted my husband to. Needless to say after I told my husband about dreams that I had of us being together and happy again, he told me that he had moved on. It was a shock to me because we text everyday and talked on occasion. I had just gotten him to agree to go on a cruise with me for next year. He is adamant about not wanting our marriage to work because he now has someone else. In my spirit I’ve been told to be still and I’m trying to do that. I continue to pray for my marriage but I don’t have the scripture that I pray. My life is changing for the better because my relationship with God is growing. I don’t know if God will repair my marriage but I do know that He is changing me.

  13. 2746
    Betsy Heller says:

    Thank your for this post. I guess the scriptures I pray over our marriage might seem a little funny: Joshua 1:9 and James 1:2-7. My husband had a massive stroke almost 9 years ago when we had three 7 yr old little boys. You see I didn’t realize how blessed I was until then. Not that I didn’t love and appreciate him, but in the time since then we have had to fall to our knees even more as we effectively had to role reverse and I have had to provide for the family and he has tried to be the caregiver – and we both failure miserably (laughably) sometimes. It’s been 25 years and I love and appreciate the partner God gave me so much as we journey through this thing called life.

    • 2747

      I want to comment to Mary Easley post, I’m where you’re at now. My husband filed for a divorce and tore me up I was so devastated. I’m on a fast and getting closer to God every day. I encourage you to read the Love Dare book it really helping me to see my marriage in a better way. I’m not giving up on my marriage. I know God will work on my behalf. I want to encourage you all to Trust God at his word.

  14. 2748

    Colossians 4:6, I want to be the salt that can be use by the world

  15. 2749
    Kelly Bradicich says:

    My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years and we’ve drawn closer to the Lord in a significant way when we both were more disciplined to read the bible daily as well as keeping each other accountable. Proverbs 23:7 is important because everything starts in our minds. We need to keep our minds/thoughts right before the Lord. Therefore, an important scripture we pray about and seriously consider in our marriage is 2 Cor. 10:5 (taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ). When we do this, we never fail!

  16. 2750

    Proverbs 31, that is the wife and mothers I strive to be for my family. My grandmother told me it reminded her of me and since I read it I have tried to be that for my husband and my kids. Our 5yr anniversary is in a few months I want to show him how much I still love him and how it grows daily. We have two young kids who we always have with us and just last week we went out for a few hours to dinner and then just walking around, nothing special but the one on one time was so refreshing bc we haven’t had that in 4yrs since our first son was born. “She comforts, encourages, and him only good as long as there is life within her” proverbs 31:12 I always try to encourage him and be as supportive as I can in all he does, even the little things, like a few days ago he did the dishes for me and even though the silverware drawer was a disaster and I still can’t find some of my dishes I thanked him multiple times so he knows that even the little things he does matter. He is under a lot of stress at work lately and working about 70hrs a week on salary of course so I’m trying to be extra encouraging to him. I am so blessed to have him in my life. It amazes me how much a person can love another person, and then my love grows even more….

  17. 2751
    judy garcia says:

    2Samuel 22:17

  18. 2752
    Cheryl Edgemon says:

    Hebrews 10:23

  19. 2753

    Romans 8:31 is a good verse to focus on for me. Lysa, I appreciate your words of wisdom and encouragement to pray over our marriages more than talking about them. I have been doing a lot more talking and complaining than praying over my marriage in recent months. Thank you!!

  20. 2754

    I’m praying Colossians 3:6 over my marriage today.

  21. 2755

    My husband and I have had struggles in our life together. He has currently been out of work for what seems like forever. He also struggles physically because he needs both knees replaced and we do not have the money to do it. It seems too that when you have some problems that the Devil knows just how to work things to give you even more problems. I needed this lesson so very badly and thank you for writing it. I always find so much encouragement in the Proverbs 31 emails that I get. I am praying Colossians 4:6 over my marriage today, because only God can give us the salt/seasoning to know how to answer everyone, and to know how to encourage our spouses.

  22. 2756
    Ruth Lydia Jacot-Guillarmod says:

    Since coming back to the LORD 9 years ago, I have struggled with being unevenly yoked. I had a church upbringing, but slowly slipped away over the years. I went through many rough patches without the benefit of knowing that I could always reach out for God and know that He will bring me through. Married for 35 years now, ( I am 62 years young) , I have seen many, many times how God never left my side and ALWAYS brought me through! His LOVE definitely surpasses all of MY understanding. The fact that we are unevenly yoked came more clear to me since I have been reborn. My husband had a strict Catholic upbringing, was an altar boy, knows the Bible very well, and can sometimes run circles around me with Scripture but he doesn’t live the life I’ve come to love. I know we still love each other but there is a definite strain and I know the enemy keeps perpetuating it every day. I believe that the Scriptures of 2 Samuel 2:17, 29 ring so true to where I was years ago, for He definitely drew me up out of deep waters and lifted me higher than I thought possible; and the Scripture Colossians 4:6 because I need to remember to season my words when speaking to him on subjects I know will cause a ripple. We have so many friends, family and our own children who are so complimentary towards us because we are still together (in a world where so many just give up and split up). I want to keep being that shining example, especially to my children, because they need to know that it’s by God’s Grace that we are still together and that HE will always be #1 above all. GOD IS #1 !! Thank you!

    • 2757
      Mrs. McCoy says:

      Thank You for this post it brought tears to my eyes, as I type this God is bring my marriage out of deep waters .

  23. 2759
    kathy smith says:

    Colossians 4:6. We are in a relationship leading up to marriage. We talk a lot Juan and I. We have some deep conversations. We have both been hurt deeply in our pass. He puts up a wall sometimes. So i enjoyed this scripture. When Juan starts talking sometimes i get confused and not sure of where he is coming from or where he is going with it. So a lot of time we end up as they say “in the same church put the wrong pew”. So when that happens i try not to get frustrated but i pray for the right words to explain to Juan so that him and i are on the same page again so to speak. And this scripture is perfect. I pray on how to answer him in a way to explain and show understanding instead of letting stress and frustration build up and turn our conversatiin into an arguement. And your advice has helped

  24. 2760

    My husband and I have been together for 18 years, married 14 in October. We have been having such a rough time over the past couple of years. Now we have entered a place where he is shut down. He won’t open his heart towards me at all. He is only focused on the pain, the hurt, the bitterness, the wrong words, the expectations that I have not met over the past 18 years. He tells me he is miserable when he is around me that there is to much tension. I agree, there is tension but I would do anything to save this marriage. But, right now you can’t talk to him. He is filled with anger/bitterness. He tells me he has no energy to move forward because he knows the future will be the same. I love this man, I need him, I want him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to show him that we can come out of this stronger. PLEASE PLEASE pray for us as the next couple of days will shine light on where we go from here. Do we separate and divorce or can I get his heart to open a little bit and try another option. I do not want us to separate because he tells me that he can’t promise me that he won’t have an affair and I am afraid that even though it will be temporary if he gets a bite of “green grass” so to speak that he will be gone for ever and we have 2 children. PLEASE pray!!!

  25. 2761

    hi i am praying for my husband to give his life back to god and start going to church
    and our marriage to be save

  26. 2762
    Jeanne Brooks says:

    My husband I will have been married for 4 years come August 7th. We have been together since we were 16. We have had our ups and downs. We have battled addiction which tore us apart causing us to live apart. I ended up moving back in with my mother and two children and he went to a halfway house. So I was working on recovery strengthening my recovery and my relationship with God. You can not recovery from addiction without God. It has been great. Finally truly understand the love God has for me. The problem is while I was working on recovery I thought my husband was doing the same. He wasnt using drugs but he had a new girlfriend a new home. I was crushed yeah I hadnt been giving him the attention he needed I was going to meetings and learning how to be a healthy mother for my children and he kinda got pushed to the side. But I didnt see this coming. Now he’s sorry and wants to work on our marriage again. At first I didnt want to the hurt and anger was so strong I didnt even want to pray for my marriage I wanted to accept that it was over get a divorce and move on. But God has soften my heart and reminded me that to be forgiven I must forgive. I have started praying for our marriage. God is so great He has done so much for me. I just want to follow His will and be pleasing to Him and I believe it is His will for me to stay married. I sometimes struggle with His will. I get filled with doubt does God want my marriage to work? Everybody around me my friends and family who claim to be Christians are telling me to get a divorce. So I get confused. I want to Thank you for this website. I was searching for marriage restoration prayers and which Scriptures to search in my Bible so I know what God’s will is for me and my husband and our children is and not let the doubt convince me to fo the wrong thing. I have been spending time with my husband. And I can actually have a good time with him and not bring my anger and pain into it to ruin a good day. I am not sure what will happen but I am sure I can trust God. I have been praying Colossians 1:9-10. And Philippians 2:2. I hope both my husband and I will have knowledge of God’s will and Spiritual understanding so we can please God grow spirituallyand reach out to others in need which will lead us to work together agreeing with each other loving each other with one mind and one purpose. We have a long way to go but we have a Big God who has a purpose for us. Jeremiah 1:12. Thank u again for this website it great. I am going to check out your book also it could be helpful in this time of need.

  27. 2763
    Angie Beacham says:

    To be honest, I am seeking the right scripture. We are trying to pull the intimacy back into our marriage. But he is so busy trying to make up for my job loss. I am 61 am having a hard time trying to find a job, and not sure that’s what God wants. I feel inadequate. I am lost.
    I am doing a bible study on turning negative into positive. But I get negative back from him. Help me.