Want to know one of the worst days of the year for some guys? February 15th.
Because on February 14th at 6:37 p.m. they entered the grocery store in a panic looking for roses and candy. Oh and a card too. And all that was left was what nobody else wanted. The wilted arrangement. The dusty candy. The cheesy card. Happy Valentine’s Day.
At 7:04 p.m. they got home and proudly presented their gift as if they’d been planning it for days.
Their girl smiled. And said thank you. But there was this hesitation in the way she smiled. A catch in her voice. Something wasn’t right. So he asked, “Everything okay?”
She replied with the classic, “I’m fine” that really means she’s not fine at all but you better figure out why on your own. And make it right. Right now.
But he doesn’t pick up on the clues. Doesn’t know what to do with the subtle not-so-subtle attitude. Until the next morning. February 15th comes on the scene with a chill in the air that has nothing to do with the outside temperature.
He didn’t make her feel special. Instead of adored she felt ignored. Women know when there’s been very little thought put into a Valentine’s gift. And they’re highly disappointed when they don’t have anything to humbly brag about their man to their girlfriends that February 14th afternoon.
While she was making heart shaped meatloaf. And hand-made doilies. And red-sprinkled cookies that almost made her lose her ever-loving mind when the kids insisted on dumping said sprinkles in each other’s hair. But by golly she’s been planning this day with great intentionality for her man. And not even kid covered sprinkle disasters were going to stop her.
Plus, she’d been getting up the gumption to wear something other than flannel sweatpants that night. Yes, she was all prepared. And happy. Until.
The obvious grocery store leftover gifts were what she got in return.
Wait a minute. Why am I writing a Valentine’s Day Post in January? Well, I want to help avoid that dreaded February 15th relationship chill. That makes women go quiet. And that makes men scratch their heads in complete and utter dismay.
Here are 3 Valentine’s Tips for the Misters:
1. February 13th is a great day to give a little pre-gift. Something little that says, “You are special enough to be celebrated a little before everyone else. I adore you and couldn’t wait until tomorrow.” Okay, maybe a guy’s thoughts aren’t that mushy, but a gift a day in advance certainly speaks wonderfully tender sentiments on your behalf.
Remember a simple dandelion on a no name day means more to a woman than a dozen roses on a Hallmark holiday.
But we still want the roses on February 14th too. Even if we say we don’t. We’re nothing if not wonderfully complicated.
2. Give a gift in line with her love language. (Thank you Gary Chapman!)
When I surveyed women on Twitter and Facebook about advice they’d want me to offer the misters, the ideas were incredibly varied from a night on the town to a hunting expedition. I kid you not, one sweet gal wanted to get her Duck Dynasty on and head to a shooting range. But that’s her unique thing… please don’t go all Duck Dynasty on your girl unless you know for sure this is her thing.
Here are some other ideas that came in through social media that are right in line with the 5 love languages:
Encouraging Words- Michelle said, “Just do a small gesture you wouldn’t normally do- like write a poem.”
Physical Touch- Kalis said, “Bubble bath for two complete with candles and soft music. Make sure the kids are sent to Grandma’s.” Oh la la. Of course, if you’re not married do this idea sans the bubble bath. Sorry, I guess it’s the mama in me that just felt compelled to throw that little obvious tidbit in.
Quality Time- Kent said, “Unplug that day. My wife would love to throw my iPhone in the lake at times.”
Acts of Service- Kassie said, “Can I get my house cleaned, please?”
Gifts- Melissa said, “Pay attention to what she likes to buy herself, and then take that idea up a few notches for a gift.”
3. Ask your wife an important question on this day of love: “What’s something I could do to love you better?”
Valentine’s is a great day to get intentional with loving your girl. But why not let this intentionality continue to linger a bit? Commit to doing this suggestion she gives. Write it into your calendar. Make it a priority. And please remember when she gives you this answer, this isn’t a criticism of what has been, but a call to action for a stronger relationship in the future.
So, February 15th doesn’t have to be a dreaded day now. And I thought I might offer one more thing… a giveaway!! Yes girls, you can comment and enter too. I knew you’d be sneaking a read here
Leave a comment below sharing any Valentine’s ideas you have for the misters or the girls. You’ll be entered to win one of three gift packs containing my books:
“Capture Her Heart- for husbands”
AND “Capture His Heart- for wives!”
Happy February 14th and 15th!!! Whew, I think I need one of those red sprinkle cookies right about now please. And for my sweet single friends, I have an article coming just for you in the near future!