Sitting At Home, Alone

They were laughing in their matching neon pink t-shirts with the words “Bethany’s Birthday Girls” printed on the front. They were going bowling after school. Then to get pizza. Then a sleep over.

When Bethany passed out the shirts by her locker that morning I pretended to be too busy to notice. I stayed hyper focused on unpacking my book bag into my locker. And then I hurried off to my first class.

It was clear. Bethany had made a list of her friends and I hadn’t been included.

I thought I would be. We’d gotten together before. I’d invited her to my pool party.

No big deal, I tried to tell myself all day. I had plans that night too.

To sit at home. Alone. And wonder why I hadn’t been chosen.

It’s been years since I watched those neon pink shirts all pile into a station wagon after school and drive away.

But it hasn’t been years since I’ve heard the negative inside chatter that ensued afterwards.

“You’re not liked.”

“You weren’t invited.”

“You weren’t chosen.”

Here’s what I wish I could have told my little sans pink t-shirt self back then…And what I need to remember when those same feelings creep in today…

Don’t put the whole of your identity into the smallness of this situation.

Not getting a pink t-shirt that day felt like a defining moment. And maybe it was for that day. I wasn’t invited to Bethany’s party. And that stunk.

But it wasn’t a defining moment of my identity.

It was a moment. And moments shift. People are fickle. People shift.

In the moment Bethany made the list of who to invite to her party, I wasn’t on the top of her mind. Not because she didn’t like me, but simply because she hadn’t thought about it.

It was a small situation.

And I can’t put the whole of my identity into the smallness of this situation. Or any other for that matter.

My Pastor used a verse in his sermon this week that echoes these same thoughts, “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, AND YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN FULLNESS IN CHRIST,” (Colossians 2: 9-10).

I have been given fullness.

In Christ.

I can place the wholeness of my identity in that reality… and see everything else as small in comparison.

I want to invite you to join Women of Faith’s Sheila Walsh and me tomorrow, January 29th, at 9:00 p.m. EST for a FREE webcast on how to combat negative inside chatter.

You can sign up to receive a reminder about the webcast by clicking here. We would love to have you with us!

And there are prizes!!! We’ll be giving away 2 adorable, tiffany blue Women of Faith bags packed full of all kinds of goodies during the webcast.

– a copy of Unglued

– a copy of the Unglued Devotional

God Loves Broken People by Sheila Walsh

Stumble Into Grace by Lisa Harper

What Women Fear by Angie Smith

– Pink Women of Faith T-Shirt

– Necklace and bracelet

– Women of Faith bag

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post stating what you’ve learned about “Inside Chatter” in your life! We’ll be discussing your insights and announcing the winner tomorrow night on the webcast, so go on and get to commenting 🙂

For this party, everyone is invited!


  1. Veronica says

    I learned that inside chatter can be a setback. Inside chatter can cloud the God free thoughts in your mind, It can be a setback to have the freedom to win the battle in the mind. I learned a few years back i can win the battle in the mind by a changed mind… so the inside chatter may come but i can overcome. It is a learning process but God is able.
    #Godisable #winner

    • CcnIndy says

      Lysa, Thank you Thank you Thank you- for being real! Your book spoke to me at a time in my life where I needed someone to understand me- when no one else would “get me.” You came when I needed a friend. Your real life experiences and words in your book- Unglued, where as if you were writing my life story, my unglued moments, my thoughts when I could not find words to express what I was thinking or going through. Thank you. Love the book, and ABSOLUTELY love the Unglued 60 day devotional! First paragraph of Day 1 in the devotional book, and I knew this is what I needed at just the right time. Thank you!

  2. Sue Matrunola says

    I’ve had a entire committee in my head since i was a little girl! The committee never chatted about positive things, only negative. As an adult Ive learned that the committee consisted of everyone in my life that had ever picked on me or tore me down. These were the voices in my head! They were so loud I couldnt hear anything else, not even God. Until….. I learned His word and that I could create a new committee, a committee of ONE! He is who I mostly hear now and if the old committee sneaks in I boldly tell them to be silent!! Praising God that the voices in my head are HIS!!

  3. Kelly says

    I left you an email. Didn’t know how to respond until now. I hear a lot of negative chatter. Telling me that I am not good enough, not worthy. I have never been good at counteracting Satan’s lies with truth. I have had a long battle with bulimia. The scripture that really speaks to my soul is Psalms 139:13-16. I know that I was created for more than to continue this battle. But I know that God is still in control. And I am working on turning that control over to Him.

  4. Kelly says

    I left you an email. Didn’t know how to respond until now. I hear a lot of negative chatter. Telling me that I am not good enough, not worthy. I have never been good at counteracting Satan’s lies with truth. I have had a long battle with bulimia. The scripture that really speaks to my soul is Psalms 139. I know that I was created for more than to continue this battle. But I know that God is still in control. And I am working on turning that control over to Him.

  5. Allana H says

    I’m so glad I got to see this webcast. Inside chatter is always going on in my head. Negative and positive. Being a women it is constant trying to be a good Christian wife, youth advisor and friend. Inside chatter keeps going and going. I need to learn to control it and become positive. Pray positive and hopefully the chatter will start to be quiet! Until then thank you for your positive website and helpful words!

  6. Christine says

    I am also very bummed I was unable to connect to the webinar tonight. .tried for an hour! I’m finally giving up. Please let me know if this is offered again — I desperately need this!

  7. Cipriana Arias says

    I’ve learned that I need to discipline my thinking, in accordance to the word of God and praise him continuously in all I do.

  8. Jessica says

    Inside chatter is not from God….When I start thinking negative thoughts, I need to cast that down…. and ask myself why I wold think that! I love that they say to take 1 verse a day from the Bible…because I know I have struggled about how “read the bible”. This is great! I am a bummer sheep….running to my shepard!

  9. Allana H says

    I left a comment not sure what happened. Enjoying the webcast and learning how to make my inside chatter positive!!!

  10. says

    Inside chatter is the number 1 battle I think most of us face that we don’t even realize we are fighting. It is so easy to fall apart at the words within our own minds. Inside chatter was the #1 way that Satan kept me from understanding who I was. Once I came to understand that the inside chatter within my head were ALL lies, I experienced a freedom I never knew. ONce I came to understand that my identity was not in who I used to be but who I am in CHRIST, I realized that I truly was called, I truly was qualifed, and I truly was worthy. There was no more quitting…no more holding back and a fire within me was stirred that nothing can fully quench! Now instead of allowing my inside chatter to bring me down, I use it to motivate me even more to press forth because I know that it only comes when I am walking in the will of God. I now get to share my story with others and teach them about the lies that destroy us silently. Thank you for your message and being a reminder that my identity comes from Him and nothing else!!!

    Kristy <3

  11. Nancy S. says

    I’m loving this webcast! My inner chatter is so confusing! I am so blessed to be hearing the 3 of you tonight. I know that God is using the 3 of you in my life.

  12. Julie says

    Lysa had me in tears because I could relate to everything she said about hanging our identity on the fickle opinions of others, fragile choices of our children and faulty comparisons of our insides to the shiny outsides of others. Lysa speaks the truth in such a way that really speaks to me. I am going to start my day tomorrow with one verse so that I can combat that chatter. I have been wanting to begin memorizing verses and this would help me so much in my every day for the sole purpose of remembering who I am in Christ. I want to stop swerving!!! Also, Sheila’s story was so compelling, so moving. This webcast had such perfect timing for me. Thank you Lysa & Sheila!!!! ♥

  13. Katie Deaderick says

    What have I learned about inside chatter? It can be destructive, it can be ruthless, it can be hard-hearted. Inside chatter makes my teeth hurt, literally. I have struggled with it my entire 39 and1/2 years. I long to be free in Christ Jesus of it forever. He already paid the price, except I keep thinking I have to pay a ticket.

  14. Deborah says

    Awareness of owning too much of what I don’t even know to be true is yucky but truly a blessing..

  15. Beckie says

    Thank you for the post! I haven’t read in awhile and really needed it. This is always me…. As a young child, as a teen and even as an adult being excluded of feeling excluded. I’m thankful I’m fulfilled by God not people

  16. Lori says

    I’ve struggled with negative self-talk my entire life. It’s only when I am active in my church, around Christian friends, and daily studying my bible that I am more able to fend off those condemning thoughts. If I stray from the things I know I should be doing, I tend to believe the enemy when he tells me I’m worthless. Love my God!

  17. Patricia Renderos says

    Well, I thank you for givin us the opportunity to watch this free on line, unfortunately I missed it because all I got was the page and all the info and asking you how to subscribe for remainders of webcasts, and I though I was on time after spending 15 minutes then I see that it said in one of the pages we hope you had a good time watching, And I am like “What?” “what do you mean? if it is only 9:10pm and I live in San Francisco>” So, I was very dissappointed. I hope next time I can watch it. God bless you.

  18. angie dedora says

    I’ve been learning lately that my inside negative chatter has been dictating my moods. So, I’ve been trying to erase the negative thoughts and replace then with truth. Its really been helping my moods improve!

  19. Marianne says

    I have learned that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
    He knows my situation and is in all of them.

  20. Brandy Outon says

    I’m thankful I stumbled across your blog! It’s been a blessing… speaks to me and reminds me of who I am in Christ.

  21. says

    I noticed on twitter last night that some people could not connect. I got on, but soon had trouble and tried to refresh. I had to refresh 2 times and it froze, so I missed it!
    I’m glad I can give it another try.

  22. Carolyne says

    I am new to this website and to Lysa’s books, teachings etc. Not sure how I stumbled across the website but here I am, so I am sure it was Gods plan 🙂 Although people tell me they see me as a very confident , outgoing person, – I have always struggled with negative inside chatter, to the point of some anxiety, … it would sometimes keep me from social events, or from befriending those that I felt like I might not measure up to. I am always afraid that when others really get to know me, I won’t be “enough” . I am in my late 40’s, and I have always felt this way. Now, I find myself worrying about my son and how others perceive him, and if they will think he is enough, etc. This webcast made me realize that others feel those same feelings :/ but more importantly , it made me realize that I am “enough”! What a reminder that God knows exactly who I am and he still loves me, flaws and all 🙂 I am adopting the daily repetitive verse idea and will be praying for all of you who experience negative chatter. Thanks for the webcast!

  23. Heather Simonelli says

    I only know that “inside chatter” can and will hinder God from doing in us what He wants. This is something I definitely struggle with.

  24. Toni says

    Dear Ms. Lysa,

    I wanted to take a minute to tell you THANK YOU for writing Unglued and to share an experience tha had this week.

    During the recent Christmas Holidays I had a complete meltdown with my family (i was really unglued!)… I think it was: the holidays, a retired husband who drives me totally nuts, over-spending on gifts we didn’t need, disappointment with extended family and much more, it all piled up and I just lost it over the dumbest thing. It was not pretty at all!

    Thankfully I have a wonderful daughter who puts everything in God’s hands (and I’m sorry to say I did not teach this to her – she is teaching me). One of her friends suggested your book and my daughter purchased it for me.

    I am slowly reading it. I am still a work in progress as I try to remember your words when things happen. I wrote a prayer from the devotional guide (Proverbs 3:5-6) and I read it many times every day. I had an experience yesterday I wanted to share with you.

    One of my Christmas presents from my husband was a Kindle Fire (which I really did not need). Last Sunday evening I left it on the end table in the family room. While I was at work the next day, and my husband was out running errands, our lovable dog decided she wanted to learn to read and she chewed up the protective cover and cracked the screen, so it is totally ruined.

    (Side note: I also have a Nook Reader this dog got her teeth on a few years ago and luckily she only damaged the cover for the Nook. I do know better – do NOT leave anything on this particular end table because.. a hair clip, paperback book, candy or whatever, she will chew it up if she is left alone).

    I am thanking becasue I did not freak out, yell, scream, cry or come ungluded. I just sat on the couch and prayed that I would not freak out, yell, scream, or cry. And I realized that it is done and over adn I can’t change it, I can only change myself. The dog didn’t mean to destroy my expensive toy, she was just bored.

    Your book is speeking to me on every page and came to me at a time when I needed to understand why I get unglued and to bring me closer to God.
    I Love the book, and ABSOLUTELY love the Unglued 60 day devotional! First paragraph of Day 1 in the devotional book, and I knew this is what I needed at just the right time. Thank you again!

  25. sheila says

    I have been battling mean old inside chatter for life!
    And it has caused me to make some poor choices over the years.
    I let the inside chatter spew out and its effects touch my family.
    To the point that it cost me my relationship with my middle child.
    She has alienated me from her life and is hurting badly herself.
    This loss caused even more chatter until just this year I faced my demons and realized if God can forgive me who am I to hold a grudge against myself!
    I so encourage women to squelch the inside chatter.
    Start believing what God has to say about you ASAP!
    Before you have to live with the consequences that could affect the rest of your life.
    Set your self free to be who God knows you are! And live it! Thank you Lysa for sharing your wisdom. God bless you.

  26. Gerri Arevalo says

    I recently found Ann Voskamp which, actually today while on her website and listening to the music, found you. Getting ready to listen to the January 29th Sitting at Home Alone – and going to sign up to listen to other events. It is so amazing how the Lord, if one sits quietly and listens, leads you to where you need to be.

  27. Brandy Thompson says

    Thanks Lysa! The reminder of how to find our fullness in Christ is effective for me. You see I often feel alone because my husband is active duty military living hundreds of miles away and just about all my girlfriends have husbands that I wouldn’t dare take them away from…and I shouldn’t have to. In Christ I am NOT ALONE, and I find fullness in his presence and love. I reminded of that in your sharing of scripture and when I bow my head crying out for my heavenly father to hold me. I cannot find my fullfillment or acceptance in friends or even my husband…that love and acceptance only comes through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

  28. Toni says

    Dear Lysa,
    I have heard so many wonderful things about Unglued. I hope to someday read it. My life is a merry-go-round with a disabled husband, responsibilities at a full-time job, being a caregiver and trying to take care of myself as much as possible. Your daily readings and blogs are so special to me. They lift me up and help me look at the world in a different light. It pulls me through each day as I struggle with sadness and delightfulness being in the light of God. My spirituality has helped me get through each day for the last nine years and your daily blogs and devotions send me into a never ending day of bliss. Thank you for helping me find my fullness in Christ!

  29. Tamatha Knauber says

    Hi Lysa, You’re a Godsent! Thanks for your website it is truely upliftinging (which we could all use more of!) . Anyway, recently had sugery for my parthyrorid, and half my thyroid remoived due to high levels of calcuim. The group MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers had been helpful deliveiving meals to my home; Also my chuch the following week provided meals also. I”m just so gratful and thankful for all the prayers and help we recievied. Aside, from that I would truly like to just rest and have peac alone for a time (since I lead a very active life with a 4yr., and a 7yr.alone with my dear husband that we have been married for 9 years. I’m also in the Sunshine Club (where I sent or call a person when they are sick, or had a baby, etc,)Anyway alittle down time alone (with the Lord) or just in my thoughts would be deligithful! Take Care, and Live One Day at A Time BY GoD’S Grace’s. Tammy

  30. Ashley W says

    Thank you for this article. My marriage has been struggling lately and before I started reading this I was having conversations in my head about all the things going on instead of turning those thoughts into a cry to Jesus.

  31. says

    Inside chatter can determine your outlook on life. You can be positive or negative with what you tell yourself. It can determine your countenance. It can change relationships, perspectives, and how you react to everything around you. It’s important to align your inside chatter with what the bible says and how God see’s you, not how the world see’s you.