Why I’m Breaking Up With My “Quiet Time”

I’m taking a break from having a quiet time. Because sometimes I can get in a rut. Even with good things. And having a daily quiet time is a good thing. Until it becomes more about routine than actually connecting with God.

When God becomes routine rather than revival, it’s time to switch things up.

Otherwise, I might start seeing this time as less important. It becomes the second or third thing I do. After other things. Seemingly more pressing things. Before I know it, it’s been days since I connected privately and personally with Truth.

And then my soul feels a bit off and sluggish. Like when my stomach has been denied food, a desperation starts creeping over other parts of the body. That happens with soul hunger too.

Only the triggers for stomach hunger are much more apparent. My brain quickly reminds me, “You feel awful because you need to eat.”

Sometimes my brain isn’t as quick to pick up on soul hunger. So I just lumber forward but wonder, “What’s wrong?” I think of a list of reasons… I’m tired, I haven’t had enough fun, girlfriend time or my butt looks big in these jeans.

And while some of those things may be true — it’s not why I feel off.

I need more time with God.

Not more quiet time.

More listening time.

This morning as I sat with God with nothing but willingness to listen, three things popped into my mind. I can’t say “God spoke to me” but it felt right. I need to do some new things as I listen. Listen. Listen.

* Study wisdom by reading a chapter in Proverbs everyday.
Ask God to reveal “my verse” for the day and think of ways to apply it. I listen.

* Read something from someone I admire.
I need to study leadership right now. So, I pick up a book written on this topic by someone I admire and glean from their wisdom. I listen.

* Read something from someone I trust.
There’s a book I’m reading right now that is whimsical and grounded all at the same time. It makes me feel like this writer gets me. They get my struggles and offer up advice I know I can trust. I listen.

Maybe you think all this still sounds like a quiet time, but to me it’s different. It’s a listening time. A time to shake things up a bit and get outside my normal routine. A time to listen to God speak. And He does speak… through His book of wisdom, through someone I admire and through someone I trust.

And this morning? My soul felt that thrilling and comforting full feeling. Complete. Satisfied. Deeply nourished.

What do you need to break up with so you can connect more closely and listen more intently to God?

If the topic of relationships and conflict is something you’re wanting to study right now, my book, Unglued, will help you have better reactions. This might be a really good thing to study as the holidays are approaching. To find out more, click here.


    • Rachel says

      I am currently doing the online Unglued Bible Study and just wanted to say Thank you for your gift of writing! God is really using you to help me in my life and to help my spiritual growth. My first encounter with your writing was when I signed up for the daily devotionals from the Proverbs 31 Ministries and your devotionals just seemed to really stick out to me and was just what I needed to hear at just the right time! (Love how God works that way!) And through that ended up doing the online Bible Study and just love how God is really working in my life with changes I need to make and the writing that is just so real! So, Thank you for serving the Lord!

  1. Billie says

    Lysa I just love your creative writing! Thanks for all your transparency and authenticity in your blogs and in Unglued! It has blessed me and my OBS group greatly. It gives them permission to not be perfect and share with the group. What a gift!

  2. says

    “Chances are, my friend Lysa is standing on a stage in a big city right now talking to thousands of women about Jesus.” Greater pg 57

    I can only imagine just how true those words were tonight. Thank you for the legacy you are creating. The trail of hearts forever changed for Jesus. You will probably never know the full impact you have had on women around the world. The impact you are making on women like me. Thank you Lysa.
    <3 Heather

  3. Angela says

    Thank you Lysa,

    This article is right on time. Lately I’ve been feeling the need to switch my standard 4am prayer time with God. It become much more of a routine, rather than a time of renewal with God. I’ve discovered He really doesn’t care when in the day I spend time with Him just as long as I do spend time with Him.

    It’s refreshing to read someone else is going through something similar.

  4. Loretta Pearson says

    Thank you for all you give! I’ve been praying for you since you had the eardrum problem and the screetching in your ear. I’m still praying for you to have healing, strength, more of God! Blessings to you, Lysa! You are very special!

    Thank you!

  5. kyndra says

    Thank you for all you do! You are such a blessing to me. This message is right on time for my life. Definitely a God send.


  6. Kelly says

    You have been such a blessing to so many lives. You can see God through you when you speak and write. I haven’t met you in person but I know I will be seeing you in heaven

  7. says

    Hi Lysa,

    Thank you so much for, well, everything you do. You mentioned in one of your posts that you were reading something by an author that “gets you.” I am too – Unglued. During my quiet time these days I am listening to God thru your words. I am praying to continue to be a passionate woman reined in by Gods grace. I am also praying for you.

    Many blessings to you!

  8. Heather h says

    Lysa i love you. I am inspired by you love and devotion to your children and husband (even when he gets you a diet coke) i have had some one say to me that i dont act like a christain because i struggle with resentmant and total dislike for this one particular person. You have taught me that you dont have to be perfect you just have to let it go and put it in God’s hands. I love want you do and who you are Thank you so m

  9. Cacy says

    Just wanted to thank you for all you do. You have been such a blessing to me. I have read Made To Crave and I could SO relate to you. As I read it I felt like we had been seperated at birth! Lol! I am currently doing an Unglued OBS and it has been AMAZING!!!!!! You truly have a gift. I look forward to my emailed devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries and I can’t wait for your next book!! May God bless you and your family!

  10. Rachelle Bonifer says

    Lysa- I met you at this years 2012 She Speaks. I loved hearing you speak at the conference. Thank you for being such a inspiration, for listening and obeying God. I love how real, raw & open you are. Seeing you you speak and reading your books truly encourages me to pursue my dreams. Thank you for being who you are and for sharing your heart with us everyday! Love and hugs to you.

  11. Barb Truman says

    Lysa, you make a difference in so many lives each and every day. I thank the Lord for leading me to your ministries. You need to slow down though because I’m trying to catch up by reading all your books LOL! Love the OBS of Unglued and looking forward to the Greater OBS. Every day I’m inspired and encouraged by Encouragement of the Day from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Today was my last day reading through Proverbs, one chapter a day. God showed me a verse a day to focus on and I have those written on sticky notes and posted on my computer. Thank you for all you do and Praise God for all our blessings!

  12. Maria says

    Lysa You are a wonderful women of God you have been such a blessing in my life with your books and your blog. I love how honest and real you are may the dear Lord continue to bless you and your family.

  13. Michelle says

    Dear Lysa,

    I became acquainted with you 11 years ago in a book store in Wisconsin. I was aimlessly looking around the book store praying God would help me find a book for my hurting heart. I was in a midst of hurt back in 2001 mainly from choices I had made but also from childhood wounds that I never healed from and life as I knew it was unraveling. This is when I came across “Who Holds The Key To Your Heart?”. I honestly thought this book was written specifically for me. Page after page your words in this book poured into the deepest recesses of my heart and slowly began the healing process that I longed to begin but didn’t quite know how. From that moment on I’ve always felt a close connection to you. Although we have never met your transparencies in your books and on your devotionals from Proverbs 31 have over the past 11 years been such an encouragement and blessing to my life. Thank you Lysa for sharing your life with us. Thank you for being real. Thank you for being a friend even if we’ve never met. Thank you for always bringing us back to the healer and Savior of our souls….Jesus. Your life is being used for greater things and I want to thank you for being a willing servant. Unglued is just another gift to encourage my faith journey. May God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry!!!!

  14. Jamie says

    I just want to thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to speak to so many women. So often we feel so alone in our feelings, and reading your writing or listening to you speak, you get it. You don’t try to sugarcoat your life. You are real with us. Thank you for that. I heard you speak almost 2 years ago at a retreat in Iowa. From June to beginning of October of that year (2010) I was in the lowest point of my life. I had just lost (another) baby in pregnancy and really felt off with God, questioning Him, my faith, etc. I was finally beginning to come back “around” again in October when I was then able to come and hear you speak with fellow mommies from Mommies with Hope! Your words resonated in my soul and comforted like a blanket. Thank you for blessing me. I am so thankful I was able to attend that retreat and hear you speak. I know it was no accident and I know w/out that time I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today. I’m so thankful to be reading your book Unglued and taking part in the OBS. Thank you, Lysa, for being a light for Jesus.

  15. Karen says

    Dear Beautiful Lysa, I thank God for your willingness to answer His call. Your prayer life, conviction, faithfulness, strength and courage have been such a powerful force in my life, and I want to thank you for revealing all these qualities to me. I discovered P31 after hearing your daily devotional on the radio… so long ago that I can’t remember when! I knew there was a real love of God that you held; it gave me comfort and encouragement. When I moved out of state 2 years ago, I signed up for the P31 devotionals in my email… What a blessing they are!! So often the message that arrives in my inbox is exactly what I need to hear, a truth that applies directly to my life at that moment. And I am humbled that God cares so much for me that He asked you to speak to my heart! Each time I read one of your books, Made to Crave, and currently Unglued, I am in awe of how brutally honest you are about your experience, your struggles, and your determination to live God in your life! You willingness to be so genuine with us has given me such encouragement, and helped me stretch to find new ways to open my heart to Jesus Christ, and walk His path for my life. I was stunned, and honored, to be considered as a small group leader for the OBS of Unglued! that Melissa Ross Taylor is leading, and am so hugely blessed by being involved in this study! So many women in my group are finding hope from the insights your book gives them! Thank you for sharing yourself and your path with us, Lysa. May God bless you abundantly!

    OBS Small Group Leader

  16. Angie Stewart says

    Hi Lysa: I first “introduced” to you by one of your radio broadcasts on KLOVE several years ago. Ever since then, I have read Made to Crave and listened to Unglued about 10 times since August when I downloaded it. Listening to you read the book “to me” has been life changing to me – you have helped me look at myself in a new perspective and I just can’t thank you enough. Right after I downloaded Unglued, my husband emailed me (yes you read right) that he wanted a divorce. It has been 60 days since he wrote that email and he is still living in our house with me and our 9 year old son and has not taken any of the steps he would said he would take. Listening to your book helps me to focus on getting me well so I can be strong for my son during this awful time. I just can’t thank you enough!!!

  17. says

    Hi Lysa I’m doing the ONB with Melissa on Unglued – which let me tell you has been just what God wanted me to do right now and I can’t tell you how encouraging it has been to know I am not alone in this and that it’s okay to make imperfect progress and that I’m not the only Christian woman in the world that BECOMES UNGLUED – I have hidden this part of my life because I am ashamed, and doing that have not dealt with it. Thank you for showing me I can!
    Also, I get your P31 daily devotion at work which is so encouarging, blessing, challenging and I share them frequently with fellow Christian co-workers – so needed during the day!
    Thanks for all you do!

    Love your sister from So Cal.
    Karen Wilson

  18. Melissa H. says

    I just want and need to say thank you, Lysa! You and your ministry have changed my life. About 2 1/2 years ago I found myself in a very deep depression and could not find my way out on my own. I had been listening to a Christian radio station in my area and would hear your short devotions and they always moved me. The only time I really get to listen to the radio is while I am in my car and I always thought to myself, I need to check out that Proverbs 31 website but somehow lost that thought by the time I got home to my computer. Finally, one evening while my husband and son were doing their “devotions for home boys” I found time to get on the computer and remembered to check out your website. I signed up to receive the daily devotions and began doing them regularly. I also asked for some of your books for my birthday which was just around the corner. After starting to read one of your books and reading the daily devotions I realized that I was severely depressed. I had known that for years but finally had the courage to admit it and seek counseling. At the same time I was beginning to work out again and stick to my healthy eating plan. Shortly after this your book Made to Crave came out and I asked for a copy for Christmas. Since that time I have lost nearly 40 pounds and I am at a weight that I hadn’t seen since college (25 years ago). I still have 25 pounds to go but honestly I didn’t ever think that I would get this far! I have been overweight all of my adult life – coming from a family of people with eating disorders and terrible body images (even though they are very thin). I promised myself that I would never starve myself to be thin but I didn’t know how to get thin in a healthy way. I have found my way and God is at my side every step. The weight is not coming off quickly but I believe that is God’s plan – He wants my image of who I am to change also. When I have lost weight quickly in the past – the weight always came back on because I was never comfortable in a thinner body. I know that sounds crazy. I feel crazy to say that. I am getting used to a smaller body size and believing this is the me that God created me to be. I am getting healthy for Him – not to get the attention, approval, etc. from my family. I have you to thank for this! If it hadn’t been for you and your ministry I am convinced that I would still be stuck in my depression and slowly eating myself to death. Thank you for your faithfulness to God and His calling on your life. God’s blessings to you!

  19. Deb Stevens says

    yeah ok .. the “When God becomes routine rather than revival .. ” seriously got to me. feelin like this applies especially right now because im trying to get back into the swing of things since we moved. and its just different for us being in a brand new place. its like i gotta get my “routine” back that i had before the move. but was it really THAT good? ..

  20. says

    Lysa-I wish I could find the right words to let you know how much your words have meant to me. I am not really sure how I “found” you but boy am I glad God lead me in whatever direction it was! You are truely a blessing to so many. Thank you for listening to God and being willing to be so open and honest! You my dear are a true Princess of the Farher!

  21. Paige says


    I am one of the women reading your book “Unglued” with Melissa. Thank you, Lysa. for being open and allowing God to use your imperfections to help us with our imperfections. It helps so much to know there are others out there going through the same things I am. I have always been a stuffer, but I see now that it is okay for me to express my feelings and hurts; I just need to do it in the right way at the right time and that it is not “ungodly” to do that.

    God bless!

  22. Lori says

    I have already started to make some big and necessary changes in my life, just from reading two of your books while taking part in Melissa’s OBS. First, “Made to Crave” and now “Unglued.” Thank you for always being so real in your books. It makes it so much easier for me to relate to the subject at hand.

    I need to rework my “quiet time.” Actually, I need to make sure that I have my “quiet time.” No more flybys.

  23. Saquonna says


    Thank you so much for your book Unglued. I am currently doing the OBS and loving it. You are so real, and encouraging. There are times when I think I won’t ever get it right, but I know that with God’s help, I can be the woman he created me to be instead of this unhinged woman that can snap at the littlest thing. I’ve also read your book More than a Good Bible Study Girl, I downloaded it to my Nook and I think I’m going to read it again. Thank you again and I hope and pray that I do more than read your book, but apply it to my life.

  24. Chris Hannah says

    Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself!! I had heard you on K-Love with your “devotionals” for Proverbs 31 and I receive the daily devotions. I had never read any of your books before until I started reading “Unglued.” I love to hear you speak or read what you have written because you can tell it is truly from the heart. You aren’t afraid to be “naked” in front of all of us and share your struggles. It makes me know that I’m not alone. When I read something you’ve written, 9 times out of 10 I will say “that’s me!!” Thanks again for all you do. I want to be you when I grow up!!! 🙂

  25. Julie says

    What a difference you have made in my life! I simply can’t get enough of your writings. Sometimes it feels like you are writing about me- my struggles and insecurities. Thank you for giving me the tools that I need to overcome difficult situations. You are an absolute blessing!

  26. says

    Hi Lysa,

    I just wanted to send a thank you for Unglued. I am so the stuffer, and I’ve realized in the past week that I’ve stuffed all of my anger about our country into the last 4 years, pretending that certain things haven’t been happening or that they don’t affect me. Something truly evil happened in my community a couple of weeks ago, and it broke me–it’s scary stuff–it affects how I go about my day with my kids and the man who did it is still at large. Where I’ve been tempted to be afraid, the Lord has moved my heart to pray for the girl’s family and my community, and the Lord has shown me that in stuffing all of my anger concerning politics, I’ve missed an opportunity to fight for God’s truth through prayer the past 4 years. I’m really grateful this book has come out at this time that the Lord used it to help me realize this…it feels like in many ways that you are being used in my life (and I don’t doubt countless others) the way that Mordecai insisted that God was using Esther–for such a time as this. Thank you for your faithfulness in following God’s calling on your life, and I pray that I have the courage to do the same.

    ~Elizabeth Farr
    Broomfield, CO

  27. Leslie F says

    I just wanted to say the way you communicate helps me face myself honestly but always from a place of love. Now that is a wonderful gift to give to many and I thank you for that. Leslie

  28. Rhonda says

    Lysa, Thank you for letting God use you. You have inspired me to make imperfect progress on being a better Mom. Your stories have taught me that I’m not alone, it’s not just me, and thank you will never be enough. I know my husband is glad I’m doing this study. He thinks no one should yell or make a scene. Well I’m making that imperfect progress to rein it in. I hope God bless’s you 10 times over for your openness and love that you have put into this book. I see me getting other to study when I’m finished with this one. Thanks again 🙂

  29. Diane says

    Lysa, THANK YOU sooo much for your honesty in your book “Unglued”. I am a part of Melissa Taylor’s online Bible Study and got to chapter 6. You were writing about ME!! I’m a stuffer..not just a stuffer, but a stuffer barrier builder. It was such a revelation of what was going on in my life. Seems so obvious now. I am so grateful for you and Melissa. I am now moving forward with imperfect progress and am excited because it is PROGRESS!!!

  30. Christen says

    Good Evening Ms. Lysa! I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for being the amazing person that you are and carrying out the amazing path that God has for you! You bless so many on a regular basis! I can’t thank you enough for blessing me! I am participating in the online bible study. Having this study is a wonderful opportunity! Ms. Melissa Taylor is so helpful! Keep up His wonderful work through you! Have an amazing night!!!

  31. April says

    Hi, Lysa! Just leaving a note to tell you that I really appreciate your promotion of Pastor Steven Furtick’s book “Greater,” as you both discussed your recent book “Unglued.” Loved them both! And, I’ve been watching Pastor online, too. God’s Word is absolutely amazing coming out of his mouth! Thanks for the info about Elevation Church!

  32. says

    Lysa- I could never adequately state how much your ministry has meant to me! God has used your teachings in amazing ways in my life! You make Romans 12:2 “… but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” a possibility for so many Christian women through your books, speeches, blogs!

    I am still pinching myself that I got to have lunch with you last Wednesday! Melissa was so right when she commented that when we are with you we forget you are a New York Times Best Selling Author, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, and well known speaker/author. You are just a fun Jesus girl that keeps it real!

    Thank you for being honest and transparent in your books. Thank you for being obedient even when Satan throws attacks and obstacles your way. Thank you for standing firm through all your personal struggles and sacrificing your time to bring us your story. “Unglued” is so needed by Christian women. My home “Unglued” Bible Study continues to grow- we are at 29 now! I have women from late 20’s to late 60’s and of many denominations! I get phone calls, texts, and emails every day about how this book is changes people’s lives. I can’t wait for the next book! Thanks again for the awesome lunch and for sharing your time with me! Be so blessed in all that you do!

  33. says

    Great words. My new stab at blogging has begun to muddy up my direct line with God. I spend so much time thinking about how to craft words around my thoughts that I notice I’m missing out on hearing His voice. After posting my 5th blog yesterday (yay) this really hit me and I turned off my computer. Had a great afternoon as a result, for real.
    Anyway, thanks for this word. My new personal motto is “Say less. Pray more.”

    God bless you.

  34. Barb says

    Good morning Lysa! I discovered KLOVE radio station just a few months ago and heard your devotionals and the station’s endorsement of PROVERBS 31 Ministry and all the hype about this new book called UNGLUED! God truly led me to both the radio station and to your website! I’m not sure how you knew what God was calling you to do, but I am glad you listened and followed your calling! I am addicted to both! The more I explore the website and read about the bloggers and authors the more I want to read and learn. I feel like a sponge that can’t be saturated. I want to order all the books and read, I want to do all the Bible Studies, I want to attend SHE SPEAKS & SHE WRITES, I want to be in communion with God all the time…..now the reality is I am learning to make imperfect progress. You are such a blessing to me and God led me to you for a reason. Your teaching has already improved my work environment tremendously, because I am different, I pause & take everything to God (not becoming unglued). Others have seen some errors they have made and actually come & apologized for their part! I am still searching for what God is calling me to do…..and you know I may be searching too hard – because I’ve also learned from you that God will get His point across! Thank you for all you do and may God to continue to favor and bless you and your family!

  35. Kristy says

    Thank you for this post. I’ve been wondering why my quiet time has been rather quiet, shall we say. After reading your post, I realized that I too have the same problem. I’ve been getting up every morning, reading my bible and praying, but I haven’t really heard from God. Now I realize I need to change things up and really concentrate and focus on hearing from God. Thank you for helping to open my eyes.

  36. denise says

    OK, I am late to this party, just catching up on all my blogs. I went back to work and my time is a little off right now.
    Thank you for writing this. For years I have felt like a bad Christian because I do not get up at 5am and read the Bible. I just can’t…I am too tired at that time of day to read anything. My “quiet time” for years has been more like you just wrote about. I talk to God a little, ask him to direct my day, sometimes I will try and learn a verse but other times I get a lot out of reading what others have written and how I can apply that to my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Word and studying it, but there are so many other ways for me to “be” with God. I always ask that I will be a light to someone, that He will use me for His purpose that day. I am involved in a few ministries at church, but they are ministries that have a monthly commitment and I don’t feel bad about that. My ministry at this time in my life is my husband and kids yet I always listen for who God wants me to help in the course of my day…He never fails and it is exciting to be His hands and feet on earth.

  37. Chelsea says

    Hi Lysa,
    I was just wondering, what are the two books that you are reading? I can’t thank you for using your gift of writing for God’s glory and to encourage young women like me! I am in college and reading your blog has been just what I’ve needed the past few days. You’re an awesome example of a woman of God!