While it hasn’t been an easy discussion, bringing pornography out from the shadows is an important thing to do. I get a ton of letters from women in devastating situations due to pornography. Both because their husband is addicted, or they are.
Either way, it’s important to talk about.
But first, I want to let those of you who get this blog emailed to you know that I was just as caught off guard as anyone that political ads were attached to my post. The service I use did this without my knowledge. So, I have upgraded my service to the level where there should be no ads attached at all.
If you ever have any more problems with this, please let me know.
And thank you for your graciousness. That’s one of the many reasons why I love you so!
Today’s post will help answer an understandable concern some of you expressed from Monday’s post. If you missed part 1 of this discussion click here.
Here’s your question and Jake Larson, from XXX church, with an answer:
Is it really my husband’s issue, and not about my shortcomings, or lack of adventure in the bedroom?
I think what you are asking is, “If the wife was more creative and adventurous in the bedroom would it solve his problem?” Here’s my straightforward answer, not a chance!
So many women have said to me in counseling sessions, following the discovery of their husband’s addiction, that they have a good sex life with their husband.
I look at the husband and he agrees. By the way, this response by the husband almost sends the wife into an all out rage! It makes no sense to her.
Hear me, your husband’s pornography addiction is NOT about you.
You couldn’t be pretty enough, adventurous enough, or curvy enough to make it go away. Although a healthy sexual relationship will help a husband through recovery, he did not turn to pornography because of you.
The reason why a man turns to pornography is often connected to his own insecurities and childhood. At some point in his life he learned that pornography would give him a reward in the midst of his fears, doubts, pain, and dysfunction.
Pornography became the one thing he could run to for relief when confused and hurting. The key to recovery is learning how to run to relationships of unconditional love.
For other men it’s a temptation of senses. We live in a world saturated with opportunity to connect with inappropriate images.
And this isn’t just a male issue. I’ve received letters from women addicted as well.
That’s why I wanted to provide a step toward getting help. A place to get some more answers. Visit the XXX Church website here.
In the comments below, let’s each pray for men and women caught in this addiction. Pray for their relationships, for healing, and for hope.