Lysa TerKeurst | 2012 July

Tuesday, July 31

I’ll Be At BlogHer 2012 and Chick-fil-A Arboretum…Let the Awkwardness Begin

There is this girl who doesn’t pluck her eyebrows or shave on a daily basis. She waits until things like this are urgent. Like you can’t possibly go out in public one more day in this condition — urgent.

And she doesn’t like to cook. She wishes her people liked soup from a can and cereal from a box everyday. Every now and then she gets her fancy on with a grilled cheese sandwich or green beans cooked in chicken broth. But for the most part she gets take-out.

The smell of mint gives her a headache but the smell of a fresh cut lawn makes her heart sing.

She skips pages when she reads children’s books and starts non-fiction books in the middle.

She loves to practice her dance moves in the kitchen when her kids have friends over. Yes, they roll their eyes but in their hearts she knows they are giving her a standing ovation. For sure.

Hand her a deck of cards and she’ll cut it with one hand. But ask her to raise her left hand and she’ll still pause for a second trying to figure out which one that is.

Maybe you have some funny quirks. Oh do tell in the comments below. Seriously, I must know I’m not alone.

And while you think up which quirks to share, let me slip you one more little tidbit. So this girl with a list of quirks a mile long is about to release this book. Maybe she’s mentioned it a time or two hundred. Anyhow, Unglued comes out next week and, well…that makes this girl want to hide in a bathroom stall and wish she’d plucked those eyebrows before going out in public.

And there may or may not be some book signings coming up.

Book signings are great when there are actual people that come.

But book signings with no people are hands down the most awkward situation in the entire world-I kid you not.

Anyhow.

If you happen to be going to the BlogHer Conference in New York this Thursday, I’ll be in booth 316 from 6-8 pm. I’d love to see you. And if you can’t come, you can follow all my awkwardness on twitter @LysaTerKeurst.

I’ll also be at my husband’s Chick-fil-A Arboretum in Charlotte next Tuesday, August 7th from 6-8 pm. Rumor has it he might be giving out some free coupons if you happen to be in the mood to eat chicken for dinner that night.

Which works really well for this girl that doesn’t like to cook. Or shave. But I will on these days. Just so you know.

Thursday, July 26

When It Feels Better To Blame Someone Else

You want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? “I am wrong.”

It’s so easy to point out wrong in others. It’s so easy to want it to be someone else’s fault. It’s so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives.

But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I’ve been challenging myself on this. I recently had to correct one of my children for trying to blame someone else for something my child needed to own themselves. I could clearly see the pride, the insecurity, and the fear all wrapped around her blaming words. And why could I see it so clearly?

Because I see it in myself.

Bummer hunh? I know, it would be much more fun to talk about fashion today. I recently found a pink and green necklace that is so cute, let’s just pause and take a quick look:

Okay, now where were we?

Oh yes, my conversation where I explained to my child something I’m learning myself. About blaming. And the dangerous path blaming can take us on.

I explained that in most conflicts I have two ways I can choose to travel:

The Path of Pride-I can blame the other person, focus only on their flaws, and refuse to own my part of it. That response will increase my pride and decrease the Lord’s blessing in my life.

The Humble Way-I can honestly assess what I’m contributing to this conflict, admit where I went wrong, and ask for forgiveness. That response will lead to humility and increase the Lord’s blessing in my life.

I see this principle woven throughout the Bible:

James 4:6, “That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Proverbs 29:23, “A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.”

Matthew 23:12, “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

I know this. I believe this. So, why do I still find it hard to implement sometimes?

Well, here’s where my head wants to go when I start examining certain conflicts: “But what if it really isn’t my fault? It’s not fair to assign the blame with me when this person did this and this and this.”

But that’s a wrong direction to head in. Don’t try to assign the blame. Just own the part you brought into the conflict. When I approach a conflict with a heart of humility, I’ve yet to see where I haven’t added something to the issue.

And if the other person doesn’t own their issues-the Lord will deal with them. (See the verses above.)

There are gifts hidden in the tough stuff of conflict. There is grace and honor to be gained. But I’ll only see those gifts if I stop blaming others and start examining myself.

Maybe the next time you’re in a tough spot and feel pulled toward blaming, pray this, “God, I want to follow Your teaching in this. But it’s so hard. I’m mad and frustrated and hurt. The last thing I feel like doing is examining where I am wrong. But I know that’s what I need to do. Will You soften my heart? Will You give me eyes to see beyond my hurt? Will You help me cut through the assumptions and wrong thinking? I want to honor You in this, I really do.”

Think of a recent conflict with someone. Which way did you travel? Remember, it’s never too late to go back and go the humble way. And it might make it a tad bit easier if you’re wearing a cute necklace. I’m just saying.

The winners of the Unglued Bible Study kits are: Ashley Preston, Heather Frederickson and Erika Myette. To claim your study kit email jennie@proverbs31.org.

Tuesday, July 24

No More Unglued Mama Mornings

I’m making a bold commitment: No more unglued mama mornings. In other words, I want our mornings to go better this next school year with less frustration, yelling, and chaos.

I started thinking about this last spring when we had a string of really hard mornings. One day, as I pulled up to the front of the school, the atmosphere inside the car was thick with tension. Not wanting the last words spoken to my middle-school daughter to be harsh, I tried to change the course of our conversation before she headed into her day. “Listen, I love you. I’m sorry we had a rough morning.”

“We always have rough mornings,” she shot back before getting out of the car and slamming the door.

Well, nothing quite makes a mom feel more successful than a little dialogue like that.

As I rubbed the stabbing feeling in my chest, I thought to myself, “Something has to change. Each day I promise myself I won’t yell at the kids in the morning and yet every day I do. I don’t want to. But each morning something happens that triggers me to just lose it.”

Ever been there?

It’s not like we wake up in the mood to get frustrated with our people, right? I mean honestly, I usually wake up in a pretty good mood.

But then the stress of getting everyone ready and to school on time makes the crazy creep in.

This one can’t find her shoes. That one needs a report printed, and we have no ink in the printer. The dog just had an accident on the new rug because no one listened to my instructions to let her out. The bread for sandwiches is still sitting on the grocery store shelf because I forgot to buy it yesterday. And to top it all off, I have no cash to give the kids so they can buy their lunch at school.

The whining. The complaining. The feeling that I just can’t ever get it all together. It all just escalates and sends me over the edge.

Well, I want mornings this school year to be different.

Do you want more calm and less chaos this school year too?

If you want to join me for this free 5 day challenge, enter your information here:

And don’t worry, our goal is imperfect progress. I’ll still mess up and you might too. But I’m giving this my best shot and can’t wait to enjoy more peaceful mornings.

After you sign up for the challenge, leave a comment below and tell me your best tip for more peaceful mornings. I’ll randomly pick 3 comments and give each winner a free Bible Study kit for my upcoming book Unglued … that’s the Unglued book, a 6-week DVD curriculum, and a workbook.

This isn’t your typical Bible Study. I’m not the hero of this teaching. I’m a gut honest girlfriend who is in the process of learning a lot about making wiser choices with my reactions.

Care to join me?