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Monday, May 14

The Crayon Masterpiece

I have never been a member of the perfect mom’s club. Never. But if I ever was, I’ll tell you about the day my membership would have surely been revoked.

It was Brooke’s big “Let’s Celebrate Mommy Day” at the church preschool. All the mommies waited excitedly in the hall for little hands to put last minute touches on the well-decorated room.

I was already feeling off as I stood with all the other moms who’d actually taken time to do their hair and wear outfits. My wet hair was slicked back haphazardly in a banana clip. My black yoga pants had some sort of smear across the thigh. And my tennis shoes looked clunky standing with all the other cute sandals and well pedicured toes.

Finally, the teacher came to the classroom door and welcomed us inside.

A room full of cupcakes, giggles, claps and sparkling preschool eyes greeted us.

The highlight of the room was the clothesline with pinned artistic treasures. Each child had been asked to draw a picture of their mommy’s favorite place. Then the teacher wrote below the crayon masterpiece what the child said when drawing the picture.

There were pictures of beaches and mountains and even a grocery store. The preciousness abounded. Until. I got to the picture featuring my favorite place.

“My mommy’s favorite place is in bed with Daddy.”

Oh have mercy on my soul that could die a thousand deaths right here in the preschool room.

Yes. I kid you not.

So, in a little effort to redeem myself all these years later, I offer you a little motherhood poem I wrote on twitter yesterday. And if you happened to be there on that preschool day when wore I wore my hair in the banana clip and sported the reddest face in the room…might you kindly replace that memory with this little poem? Oh thank you.

Mommy treasures

warm hugs. messy kisses. tangled hair and childhood wishes.

princess twirls. superman leaps.

and crayon masterpieces I will forever keep.

These are the treasures motherhood is made of.

Happy day after Mother’s Day.

Discussion

  1. 1

    What better place could there be, this side of heaven?

    • 2

      My thoughts exactly. For if that place is warm and cozy, then there will BE trips to the beach and trips to the mountains and walks around the block!!!!

  2. 3

    Okay. I laughed. I laughed HARD. They keep us humble, don’t they?

    Happy Day after Mother’s Day, sweet Lysa.

  3. 4
    Heather P says:

    Did not laugh really hard. I would have been red as well! Happy Mother’s Day and the Monday after Mother’s Day!!

  4. 5

    Oh Lysa!! I WISH Mummy could spend the day in bed with ‘Daddy’!! Sometimes it is so hard being a single-Mummy … especially Father’s day, or when DD starts talking about her Daddy and asking when he’ll come home … but then little funny things like your little anecdote that just show how much she notices me and loves me for me make things feel so much better .. for a little while at any rate! … Happy Mother’s Day Lysa! Your poem perfectly puts into words all those precious treasures that make mummy hood so darn special!!!

  5. 6

    Happy Monday, and Happy Mothers day Lysa.

    Our kids do keep us humble. Thank You God.

    Enjoying that new office? I bet…Its beautiful So happy for you..

  6. 7

    Happy Day after Mother’s Day to You too Lysa. :) My kids are (almost) 21 & 23 and they still never fail to make me laugh or embarasss me but I just laugh it off..We are a family of high humor. Have an awesome week my sista’ God Bless You.

  7. 8
    Dumbo_Dave says:

    “The Perfect Mom” is a real mom. I think you have always been a Perfect Mom Lysa.

  8. 9

    Oh Wow! I just let the most mortified laugh for you. :)) I’m sure it was your child’s way of telling everyone how much you loved Daddy. Still…

  9. 10
    Georgia says:

    Thank you for shaing that! I laughed so hard I cried. I am sharing this one with one of my besties. :)

  10. 11

    Thank-you Lysa for that today. I needed a little laugh and a great memory of things gone wrong in my life. What a joy you are to so many woman. Thanks again for all the Laughs, Pick-ups, Prays and just for being there. God bless you and all the other Mothers today, and thru out this year.

  11. 12
    lisa halloran says:

    Parenting sure changes us, and humbles us,doesn’t it? I’m sure it’s meant to do that and more! Our oldest shared on tape at church, that I gave my husband a plaque that said, I knew I married Mr Right, I just didn’t know his first name was Always! That’s exactly what the plaque said, then she added (and this was also the truth), “but my daddy didn’t think it was that funny”. It was a funny and truthful moment! I love how one pastor said, believers have the best parent possible, God, and looked how messed up we continue to be! Even with the best parent, we make bad decisions. My prayer is for us all to know how much we’re loved this MOther’s day.

  12. 13

    Out of the mouth of babes!!! LOL It is a wonderful place and I’m sure all the other moms agreed! But I totally understand, I never look perfectly coiffed either, I’m me, just the way God made me! They either accept me or they don’t! He loves me and you just the way we are!

  13. 14

    This reminds me of when my daughter was little, and the preacher had all the little kids come up and gather round as he sat on the steps to the alter and he gave a little “sermon” just for the kids. My daughter decided to interrupt him right in the middle of it and said, “My mommy and daddy sleep together and they won’t let me in there with them!”…out of the clear blue sky! The preacher, having the devil sitting on his shoulder, said, “Well, Dena, why do you suppose that is?” And he just egged her on as she expounded on the situation! I was up in the choir loft with a very red face for all the congregation to see.

  14. 15

    Lysa, you crack me up!! Our children keep us humble and keep life interesting! Hope you are feeling better, I’m continuing to pray for the ringing in your ear.

  15. 16
    Sharon Werner says:

    Oh Lysa I have one even better! My husband and I were head of the children’s ministry for a couple of years and when Mother’s day came around we filmed the children taking about their mommy’s favorite thing to do on her day off. We had 3 of our own children that were taped along with the rest of the children. My youngest child was last the one who teaches me humility every chance she gets! When the question was asked she answered lay around in her underwear!! My my how red my face was in front of the whole congregation. Then I had to lead everyone into prayer blessing the Moms!! :-P

  16. 17

    I love our children as they are so always honest, i remember my son early this year starting grade 2 and they had a presentation at school about what they did during the holiday, most children had gone to very nice places for xmas holidays, and he was the last to speak. He said Me and my dad went to the cattle post and we were running behind some bulls. Everyone in the room stood up and clapped hands for him. I really felt very proud and joy to be a mother.

  17. 18
    Miss Pamela says:

    I love it – wonderful!

  18. 19

    Too Cute! Too Funny! LOVE IT! :)

  19. 20
    Cathi S. says:

    When my (now grown) daughter was in about second grade, her class made scary Halloween puppets out of lunch sacks. My daughter made one of ME, with my baggy-eyed, early-morning look, complete with a ragged piece of terry cloth wrapped around it, depicting my housecoat! I still have it on my workroom bulletin board. I love it.

  20. 22

    Lysa, I loved your story! Reminds me of when my then 4th-grade son made his 4H project for the county fair. The club was going to a place to make their ceramic pieces for their arts & craft entries. I could not take my kids, so my mother did. They spent the afternoon making plates, cups, banks, and other cute items. When I asked my son what he chose, he proudly announced he had made a margarita glass – painted as if it were full – and even remembered the salt and lime! I didn’t even remember ever having one around him, or when I had even had one last since we do not drink a lot. That’s when I learned that you never know what your kids will remember – and when!

  21. 23
    Barbe Wolfe says:

    I bet that there were a lot of moms that were jealous of you that day!

  22. 24
    Ashley Galbraith says:

    I had to pick myself up off the floor from laughing at that one! Thank you for the comic relief! Our children are fabulous at putting us in our places even if embarrassment is the end result! Can’t help but to love their spirit and take on everyday life.

    Thanks again for sharing!

  23. 25
    Ann Kite says:

    What a blessed little girl Brooke is…
    I hope that’s always one of your favorite places!
    Continued blessings over your home!!

  24. 26
    Cynthia says:

    Love it!

  25. 27

    I laughed so hard i almost wet my pants. Thank you so much for making me feel normal.

  26. 28

    This was a great post. I especially love the part about superman leaps, as I’ve started to experience this with my 18-month old son. What I read about your daughter made me look forward to our future with our children and all the funny, crazy things they’ll continue to do.

  27. 29
    Sandi in MN says:

    Made me laugh out loud! Way to teach “red hot monogamy” :)

  28. 30

    as the preschool teacher who gives these parties for the past 11 years, we do a tea party for our mom’s, we could care less what you wear or what your hair is doing, the fact that you came is all that matters. Seriously, we just want to honor you! And they LOVE preparing everything, we make gifts, learn songs and play hand bells for our moms. It is very special, wears me out as a teacher, but in a good way. We LOVE our tea party and our preschoom moms! We do Dad’s day in April, during bug week and we have a live worm demo, and play with worms with dads! they like that too! :) By the way, we interview them too, and when asked, what does mom tell you everyday. Most say… “I love you” but one little girl told me she says… “stop teasing your sister, more than anything” I had to write it! No comment from her mom at the party last week.

  29. 31

    You made me laugh out loud. :)

  30. 32
    Christine Marie says:

    LOL!! The office is wondering what in the world is wrong with me? I can totally relate, my daughter’s preschool days are filled with similar stories. The kind that make you want to crawl under a rock.

  31. 33
    Shannon Cook says:

    Too funny and so cute! Memory to be cherished.

  32. 34

    Great story……needed a laugh on a tough Monday! Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day!

  33. 35

    Oh.my.gosh!! This just made me bust out laughing! God Bless those little children. :)

  34. 36
    Shirley says:

    Out of the mouths of babes! But after all that is a pretty nice place to be.

    It reminds me of one day when I had driven to pick my husband up from work, with my kids. It was a nice warm spring day and the kids were on the back seat with the windows open. I was reading a book while waiting and suddenly I became aware that everyone was laughing as they walked by the car. Just then I saw one of my sons lean out the window and say to the fellows walking by, “Do you want to come home with my mama?” Needless to say I was pretty red-faced too and we still all laugh about it today. I’m now 77 years old and the son is 53.

  35. 37

    Oh how I needed that laugh!!! Thanks for always keeping it real!!!

  36. 38

    This just made me laugh right out loud. HILARIOUS.

    Wow. That’s awesome.

    Still laughing,
    Kate :)

  37. 39

    Love it! You made me smile… really big =)

  38. 40

    So funny! I bet there were other moms of preschoolers who were jealous! ;)

  39. 41
    Joe King says:

    You know what they say…the best thing you can do for you kids is to love your husband. I love this story. My son is only just now started to talk really well, and I’m just waiting for that day that he makes me want to crawl in a hole. You have a great story to share, though!

  40. 42

    OK, I must have missed this. I was just cleaning out my emails and found it. Hilarious. Can I tell you my son came from Sunday school with a Mother’s Day booklet. One question was what do you like about your mommy. He put “when she dances all silly.” Then he proceeded to tell me, “I didn’t think I should write when you shake your booty!” Oh heavens! I just hope he truly made that decision and it wasn’t the teacher who said she didn’t think he should write that. :)

  41. 43
    Brianna Siegrist says:

    I love this!! :-)

  42. 44
    Judy Blunt says:

    Lysa, I think it is awesome that your child would draw that! Ok, I do not have children and maybe I do not understand, but I do know that any picture from a child that shows a loving close relationship between their parents would be awesome. So what is there is a sexual hint there! God created it and children should grow up knowing sex takes place between their parents and that it is good and godly. No, I don’t mean anything explicit. I say, Way To Go Lysa! God was honored in my opinion because relationship took center stage.

  43. 45

    I love to hear your stories. That made me laugh so hard. Oh the things that kids will say. I’m sure your husband loved it! Thanks for sharing.

  44. 46

    LOL! My husband and I went to my daughter’s Christmas Concert. A couple we knew a long time ago but had not seen in years came up to my husband and said, “I’m so glad you are not in prison anymore.” WHAT? Apparently my daughter had been listening to an Adventures in Odessy tape. The story was about treating a little girl who’s father was in prison, with love and kindness. I guess she thought she would get a lot of love and kindness from the other children if she shared at circle time that her father was in prison. I can only imagine how many other children, whose parents we didn’t know, heard that story at the dinner table…and were appalled! Never to be set straight. We still laugh about it!

  45. 47

    Ha! That’s great! Similar to my story…my 7yo son filled out a questionnaire about his mommy. The one that got me: What’s one thing your mommy is good at? His answer: “bed”. :o When I asked him what that meant, he said putting him to bed, but can you imagine what his teacher thought???

  46. 48
    MomofLots says:

    GREAT story!
    I agree – the other moms probably were envious that your marriage is strong!

  47. 49

    I read your e-mails everyday. This one couldn’t have come at a better time. I have been married for over 20 years and seperated for almost one due to his repeated affairs. He just the other day asked me if I could see us getting back together. And my response was I am a different woman today than when we seperated… I am worthy of who I am.Which my world revolved around him. I would love to read Dr. Clinton’s book, unfortuntly I just can’t afford it.
    Have a blessed day. And may God continue to bless you and your ability to write and touch others hearts.