Tuesday, February 28

A complete waste of time

Brooke got in the car the other day and sighed. It was one of those sighs that said, “I’m going through something, but unless you ask me, I’m not freely revealing this information.”

I casually inquired, “Tell me the high from your day and your low.”

“Mom,” she groaned letting me know she secretly loved that I was asking but all the middle school in her was making her play it cool.

I waited quietly knowing she’d eventually tell me. And she did. Something hard had happened at school that day.

I put my hand on hers, “I’m sorry sweetheart. I know that makes you sad.”

To my surprise, this normally emotional child said, “Actually no. I’ve decided sometimes being sad or mad over stuff like this is a compete waste of my time.”

And just like that she smiled and was ready to get on with her day. No tears. No tirade. No lamenting and wearing herself out with a tidal wave of emotion while over-processing this situation.

Just a 13 year old’s decision that this wasn’t worth all that. The child turned tutor. The young one doling out wisdom.

Sometimes being sad or mad over stuff like this is a complete waste of my time.

I’ve mulled her statement over in my mind a hundred times. It’s good. It’s truth.

Indeed there are things to be sad about… but so much of what pulls at my emotions isn’t worth the time and energy I give it.

I love this verse from James 1:19-21 in the Message:

Post this at all the intersections, dear friends.  Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation garden of your life.”

Is there something you’ve been sad or mad about that maybe is a waste of your time?  Ask God to help you have a different perspective. Leave a comment today letting me know how I can pray for you… it would be my honor.

Discussion

  1. 101

    Such wisdom in one so young!! :D

    I have found that worrying is a complete waste of time. I just put it all in His hands. The only thing we CAN control is HOW we react to something (or someone). When someone says something mean or hateful to me now, I pray before I respond.

  2. 102

    Loved today’s wisdom. Prayers for my youngest son and getting a career job in the field he graduated in two years ago. He is able to get internships to expand his experience but the pay is pennies. He is feeling down on his luck and I have concerns over that also. I’m questioning my own faith and feel as if were out her all alone. ~ Thank you

  3. 103

    I loved this, such wisdom from one so young. Tell her Thanks and give her a hug from one who needed to hear this today, and yesterday and tomorrow! God bless you both!

  4. 104

    Love, love, love that translation of James 1:19-21. Need to let Him landscape me with His Word. Beautiful. And sooooooo need to let anger straggle behind. I have been particularly frustrated/irritated/worried over two of the most important people in my life who are in a strained place with one another right now…and that strains me.

    Thank you for sharing…your daughter’s beyond her years wisdom, the truth and beauty of James 1:19-21, and your offer of prayer. Praying for you today, too.

    Love,
    K

  5. 105

    I had one of those days yesterday. Shouldn’t have let it get me as frustrated as it did. I’m glad I didn’t say anything stupid to anyone but I could have been nicer.

    ps. Did you get Brooke’s statement in writing so you can remind her she said it later :o)

  6. 106

    I needed this today. Please pray for my insecurities and reveal that the people in my life really do love me!! =)

  7. 107

    My Son :0)

  8. 108

    Would appreciate your prayers in support of me turning over a new leaf. Keep trying to, keep praying about it, but before the day ends, I fail. I start the day out strong & end it weak, lazy, depressed, & not surprised, that once again, I’ve failed. I start my day w/ a long prayer asking for help, guidance & help thru the weak moments. But, by the late afternoon, my weakness for food, laziness, and negative feelings are stronger & I keep failing over & over again. :(

  9. 109

    Please pray for me and my husband. We have a lot of different issues that we need to work out, please pray for God guidance to lead us where He wants us to be. I can’t handle the fighting anymore and constant yelling it isn’t good for us or our kids.

    Thank you

  10. 110

    My insomnia. I have prayed for so many years, seen specialists…have done all I know to do, and still my days pass in zombie-like exhaustion. I am failing my boys, both of whom have disabilities.

    • 111

      I have insomnia also, and have a son with Asperger’s.
      I homeschool and sometimes feel like my kids would be better off in public school.
      I feel like a failure too, but that is what satan wants. We can’t let him win.
      I will pray for you Lee.
      I see that your post was 6 months ago. Hopefully, things have gotten better for you.
      If you need a “friend”, I am here.

      Norma

  11. 112

    Oh Lysa, this is so appropriate for me today (and always). I love this verse and I thank you for sharing. Yes, there are things I am mad and angry about that are a completely waste of time. The wisdom or a 13 year old had to open my eyes to that fact… I love the way God works… God bless her !

  12. 113

    Oh Lysa,
    Thanks so much for this reminder. I have been sad/mad over a situation that really does
    not need the time of day! Blessings to you!

  13. 114
    August Ross says:

    Lysa, this reminds me of two divorces I went through. I regret both of them. I have a hard time forgiving myself. How could I not know these two guys were liars and deceivers? I struggle greatly with this esoecially because my children were hurt by their deceptions. August Rose

  14. 115

    This is so true. I need to implement it more in my own life. I’ve been trying lately to identify things that annoy me and, where I can, trying to reduce their presence in my life. Results in a lot less wasted time :)

  15. 116

    Thanks Lysa for the wise and encouraging words. It reminds me of my situation – I am married with two beautiful daughters, but my husband does not appreciate us at all. I use to keep blaming myself but this year I decided to take care of my daughters and I while still praying for him. Your words were a God send, please pray for my family, especially my husband that we can be a family again. God bless you.

  16. 117

    Dear Lysa,

    Thank you for posting this. What a great reminder. I am awake because of a co worker leaving me feeling belittled today and I’m praying “how to handle it”. After reading this, I’m praying for God’s perspective. Please keep me in prayer. Concerning myself over these scenarios is a waste of my time – I shouldn’t have to prove myself to anyone.

  17. 118
    Patricia Simon says:

    These words are so true. Some things are best let go of and not allowed to dwell in our hearts to ruin another day. I recently moved in with a roommate, a friend I’ve known since 1989. We have had some issues come up between us that eventually get worked out, but I ask for prayer to better discern what is best not hanging on to or getting angry over. I’ve never been good at facing or handling conflict and I need prayer helping me to discern what is worth dealing with and what should be let go of. I tend to “stuff” everything which is also not healthy so I am going to take you up on your offer to pray for me and to thank you so much for doing so. God has been so good to me in putting the right people into my life that I need and today you are the one. Thank you for being there and thank God for placing you in my life today.

  18. 119
    Tondala Smith says:

    Your word today was so on point, it home very hard, thank you for your encouragement.

  19. 120
    Charlene says:

    I am trying to do this; not waisting time being sad, so many things have gone wrong, my marraige, been laid off work 4 times. Now I found a good loving place to be then I make a hugh mistake at work, it did not create a hardship other than people needing to change some entries. But I cannot get over the fact that I 1) make the mistake 2) did not catch it when I reviewed my paperwork. I’ve asked for God to lift me up and remind myself that I am only human, but that does not move me from my shame.

  20. 121
    Mechele says:

    God is so good & timely, He always lets me read things @ the right time. This message is very appropriate for me right now. I’m struggling with work issues, & I just want God’s will, & not my up & down emotional rollercoaster that I find myself on so many times. Lord, help me to hold on to you & not the baggage or the garbage!

  21. 122

    Thanks for always being so real, Lysa. Reading this blog today couldn’t have been better timing. I am having some issues at work & get really mad at myself for letting it get to me like it does. I know it’s God’s feeling about me, not another person, that matters most, but sometimes, during the moment, it’s hard to remember. I just need to be like your daughter & choose not to let it affect me.

  22. 123

    Thanks for always being so real, Lysa. Reading this blog today couldn’t have been better timing. I am having some issues at work & get really mad at myself for letting it get to me like it does. I know it’s God’s feeling about me, not another person, that matters most, but sometimes, during the moment, it’s hard to remember. I just need to be like your daughter & choose not to let it affect me.

  23. 124

    Lysa,
    I always read your sites before I start my day. What a help. I am resentful that my husband will not take just any job. He was let go six years ago from a bank ( I think it was age discrimination, he was 56). Since then he has been working part time. That job was phased out before Christmas. He is 62 now, and won’t get just any job to help us get out of debt. He keeps applying for things way out of his reach. I am resentful of his stubborness, nothing that I say or do helps. He is just in denial and too proud. I don’t know where to get help I have prayed and prayed, and he still remains stubborn. I want to forgive him, but I have gone back to teaching and I resent that he basically does what he wants all day but says he is applying. He hasn’t had an interview in 6 years. I pray for a miracle as a “perfect job” has opened up and he is applying for it. If God does not think it is right for him, I just wish he would take something else to help us make ends meet. I don’t want to feel so resentful and angry, but I do. Please pray for me.

  24. 125

    Lysa. I have been going through an emotional rollercoaster that never seems to end. I was in a relationship I was hoping would be the last, well it didn’t end well and there are so many unanswered questions and it just seems to rip at my heart and soul everday. I pray alot about it but nothing seems to happen please pray for me i don’t want to hang on to this anymore

  25. 126
    Michelle says:

    Lysa,
    You have a very beautiful daughter. She’s wiser than I am!
    I’ve been angry at my mother all my life. Pleasing her was never good enough. Now that I have become better than what she expected of me, she despises me. I am dead to her. I’ve been trying to move on and forgive her but it is hard. Her hurtful words linger in my heart. I would never do that to any of my kids. This is such a waste of time! Being angry at me and vice versa. We should be enjoying life! But, I can only trust in the Lord that He will lead the way and help us through this.
    Thank you for your prayers.

    God bless you.
    Michelle

  26. 127
    Michelle says:

    Lysa,
    You have a very beautiful daughter. She’s wiser than I am!
    I’ve been angry at my mother all my life. Pleasing her was never good enough. Now that I have become better than what she expected of me, she despises me. I am dead to her. I’ve been trying to move on and forgive her but it is hard. Her hurtful words linger in my heart. I would never do that to any of my kids. This is such a waste of time! Being angry at me and vice versa. We should be enjoying life! But, I can only trust in the Lord that He will lead the way and help us through this.
    Thank you for your prayers.

    God bless you.
    Michelle

  27. 128

    Thanks, Lysa, for sharing your life as you walk in the Word. I need to plaster this story on my mirror to view it often. I’m struggling because I fell on the pool deck going to water aerobics class…breaking my wrist and pulling a muscle in my leg….making walking difficult at times. I’ve been blessed with an attentive husband, a sister-in-law who came to help for the week and receiving cards from friends. Even though I’ve had blessings, sometimes I will have a pity party as I crawl to the stairs to bump down because my legs aren’t strong enough to walk down….and all those tasks I can’t do because it takes two hands. I needed to read your post…and learn from your daughter’s wisdom. Tell her “thanks!” Catch ya later…decided to go write a “blessings list” of all the people who have reached out to me during this time….and focus on the list when the next pity party raises it’s ugly head! God bless and KEEP SHARING with us!

  28. 129
    Judy Blunt says:

    Could you pray,not for me,but for a friend of mine who lost their two year old to drowning? His name is Matt and the mother’s is Megan. They have three other children, too.

  29. 130

    I love reading your posts, I always get them 7 hours late because of the time zone, but the messages are always new. I have 3 daughters two of them 7 and 8 years and the last born is 1 and a half years. please pray for me to have God’s wisdom in raising my two daughters, they always compete with each other and there is strive between them. I have tried different forms of discipline but am going no where. please pray for me and advice!!

  30. 131

    A great lesson for me to learn from a 13-year-old. :-) I would like to ask you to pray for God to heal the hurt and anger in my heart that I have toward three individuals. Without going into specifics, some actions and decisions they made affected my husband and in turn me and I am having a hard time forgiving them. I am tired of wasting my life ruminating over it. Thank you for your prayers.

  31. 132
    Beverly says:

    Wow this is exactly what I needed today! I want big things to change in my life and it takes time……. in the process the sadness can be overwhelming. So my decision is not to stay mad or sad any longer. I need prayer that my mom sells her house in Tucson and moves to New Mexico where I live. Her name is Mona………..thank you very much!

  32. 133
    Patti Valliere says:

    I have been sad, angry, and anxious for over 2 years now, and after reading this devotion today I heard God tell me “Enough”. I have been living in a broken marriage that has been eroding at my character for years. I have been taken to the very bottom and end of me and did something that I will have to carry the consequences of for the rest of my life. I wanted so desperately for this marriage to work that I completely lost sight of God and stopped living the life He intended for me. I am finding the strength and courage to move forward and learning to put all my trust and hope in the only One who can save me. I know I will have sad moments but no more sad days for years at a time. Thank you.