In light of the message I gave this past weekend at Elevation Church, I’m reposting this from a year ago. Let’s dialogue today about how we can remember our reactions determine our reach- even in the everyday moments of life.
Like Pastor Steven says at the end of my message, it’s all about making that next step of progress. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts and advice today.
I once had a toy car that had a twist knob on it’s bumper. With each twist the tension inside the car ratcheted higher and higher so by the time I released it on the floor, the car went buzzerk. It shot across the floor with no regard to anything in its path. It jammed into things only to reverse its direction and ram into something else. Nothing stood a chance in its wake until the tension knob inside untwisted completely and the car slowed to a halt.
Sometimes I feel like I have that same kind of twist knob inside my heart. I let things build inside until I’ve been twisted one to many times and then wham! Off I go in an emotional fit with no regard to anything in my path.
You won’t see this in me because I’m good at managing this with the world at large. And even if you do some things that twist my knob three or four times, I’ll probably just have a simple conversation with you where things can get cleared up. And if they don’t clear up, then I’ll reason we’re too different to be in close community and I’ll just quietly distance myself from you while the churning emotions subside.
All of this is totally hypothetical because you know of course this would never happen to you and me.
But it does happen with those I live with on a daily basis.
Take my amazingly handsome, chicken flipping, pick up truck driving, patient beyond measure husband. We try to have a date night every Sunday. This worked without a hitch until I started doing a special diet plan over a year ago that required me to be done eating each night by 7pm. This meant we’d have to start our date each Sunday a little earlier than normal to accommodate my new eating schedule.
But things kept interrupting that plan.
Art’s workout on Sunday afternoon would run a little long- twist.
Someone needed to be driven to a last minute youth group event- twist.
Art had something he had to do for church and he was running late- twist.
The playoffs were on and they went into overtime- twist.
These things kept twisting every Sunday until one afternoon all that tension let loose in a fit of frustration and disappointment. “You always make us late! Date nights aren’t important to you anymore! Why don’t you treasure our time together anymore?! I’m starting to wonder if you still love me! ”
Lovely.
I can’t think of a more endearing conversation to have right before a date. Sigh.
And because Art hadn’t been aware of my mounting frustration, my run away response seemed to come completely out of left field. One minute he’s watching the game in overtime about to take his wife on a date and the next his wife is zipping around the room accusing him of not loving her anymore. Hunh???
It seems so silly to me now. But at the time, my ratcheted up feelings had truly hushed any and every logical thought. Suddenly, I’d reached a tipping point where it was no longer just about running late for our date, it was a marriage defining moment of epic proportions.
Do you ever struggle with this? What causes your tension knob to twist, twist, twist? Have you found any simple, practical strategies for releasing the tension of the twisty knob before it sends our emotions ramming and jamming into those closest to us?
Discussion