Twelve years ago I was stuck in a rut of want. There was an opportunity that looked so promising. A publisher expressed genuine interest in my writing. It seemed to be right. It felt right. I wanted it to be right. It must be right!
But it never came to pass.
In my most mature moments I reasoned, “It wasn’t meant to be. I trust God and believe in His perfect plans.”
In my not so mature moments I wondered, “God, this isn’t fair. Why do you keep saying no?”
And in my immature moments I whined, “God, do you care this hurts me?”
Have you ever been there?
Ruts of want are tough places to be stuck.
When God says no, we are sometimes tempted to wonder if He loves us. In reality, it’s because He loves us, He sometimes says no.
Read that last sentence again and rub it into your heart. The hurting part. The part that throbs and aches when you see others getting the exact opportunity you want. You fake a smile to hide the pain.
God brought this change of perspective to me through a baking disaster that happened to my youngest daughter, Brooke. She came to me a 9pm one night and asked if she and her friend could bake a cake.
Hope, Brooke’s older sister, had offered to help and I was too tired to argue the incessant pleas of a nine year old.
Brooke measured and poured, whipped and stirred, and carefully placed a batter-filled cake pan into the oven. Then she turned on the oven light and watched the cake bake. Her cake became her whole focus. She couldn’t stop looking at the cake and grew increasingly impatient with the slow-passing minutes on the timer.
Nothing kills patience like being solely focused on the object of your desire. And tragically, impatience becomes the breeding ground for compromise.
About 30 minutes into the 45 minute baking time, the cake looked done. It smelled done. Brooke and her friend wanted it to be done. She reasoned it must be done!
Hope helped retrieve the cake and place it on the counter to cool.
And it wasn’t long until the cake imploded.
The cake couldn’t withstand the pressure of an undone center… and neither can we.
If we obsess over the cake and make it our whole focus, character atrophies. If we make growing in godliness our obsession and keep our focus on God, our character matures. And a mature character makes for a solid and well done center.
I thank God everyday for the no’s He’s graciously allowed and continues to allow in my life. I used to pray, “God, let me, let me, let me!”
I now pray, “God, please never let my success outgrow the character necessary to handle it.”
Indeed, it’s because God loves us, He sometimes says no.
What ‘no’ have you thanked God for lately?
Leave a comment and I’ll randomly pick two of you to win both my book, “Made to Crave” and my friend Craig Groeschel’s book “Weird.” As a matter of fact, I’m so honored to have Pastor Craig joining us via video blogs the rest of this week. You will love these interviews! I can ‘t wait.
Also if you missed my inCourage post from last week, click here. But first… leave a comment about your ‘no’ below.
Wow that was good. Its nice to reminded that we are God children and he will always know what’s good for us. Also reminds me of the many times I have stood there throwing a temper like a teen ager just to realize later how lucky I was that He said no. Thanks Liza
I will be listening to your wisdom for the rest of my life. I always wondered why God was not speaking to me, but he is through you, I just did not have the eyes to see it and the ears to hear it. Now I do!
My husband and I are in a period of respite from ministry. God designed this but it is feeling like a rut now and not respite. Waiting on Him to lead us anew in a new direction…
Believing Him~Pamela
I thanking God that he has said no to my pleas for children so far. I’ve been so consumed with this desire and everytime I see someone else getting what I want (which seems to be EVERYONE I know right now) I get upset that they are getting a family and I don’t yet have one after 7+ years of waiting. It’s hard and it’s difficult. I keep thinking that God doesn’t love me because He hasn’t granted me this great desire, but lately I’ve come to realize that if I had children right this very moment I wouldn’t be able to focus on me and on my marriage (which needs a lot of prayer and attention right now). So I know there is a reason God is saying No right now, and I thank Him for that… even if my heart still manages to be upset over it sometimes.
I have to ‘nos’ to thank God for and I do actuallyon a regulary basis. The first one has to do with my husband. I was with another man first and I knew it wasnt right but wasn’t listening to my heart or to God and wantedhim to be ‘the one’. Luckily God knew better. I’m know married to the most amazing man. I never actually believed that you could be married to your best friend thought everyone made that up…..but I’m here to say its true and its amazing. Second one is that we thought we were done having children so we got my husband fixed(lol sorry just like to say it like that) but God said no again. And acutally I was two weeks pregnant when he had the procedure. And am I ever so thankful. Once again God knew best. I’m in a want rut right now and look at these two things to remind me that God knows way better than me. I have NO patience so this is what he is teaching me right now but looking back I know I can wait on God for its so much more glorious than anything I could do on my own!
This is funny. I was just in one of my sisterchick’s office whining about when it would get to be my time — I was also whinning because I am not going to get to attend She Speaks this year. This past year has been a very strange one for us. I Thought I was going to have a ministry that God was preparing me for and then our house burned and we lost everything, we had good insurance, but it was still a step back. I was able to attend last year’s confernence, but it just ain’t happening this year.
So my friend laughed and told me about your encouragement for today. I needed that! I don’t know why I don’t get these, but I am signing up now so I will. Thank you for all you do and for the reminder that I don’t want to implode before God chooses to use me.
I want to know the next steps and get moving. I have been a stay at home mom for over 5 years now and I want to get out and find a job, something different to do but he keep saying NO so I wait sometime not so patiently. I am also often reminded that they grow so fast and I must stop and enjoy. When I put my focus on God than it does not matter what I do after that, I simply have to keep my chin up and trust him. He knows best.
Ah, goodness, I needed to hear this today!! Lord, do with me as you please!
My husband is currently unemployed. He did a position transfer within the company and upn trying to transfer back to his old position he was told he would need to wait 3 months! 3 unemployed months are rounding into 4 and the door seems to only be closing more. How!?! did any of this happen. While God has been saying no to this, another door is opening for us to move to our home town of which we have been desiring. Timing never seemed right and it still doesn’t but I am having Faith.
God seems to be saying ‘no’ to me a lot lately. Yet, I’m embarrassed to say I don’t say ‘yes’ to Him like I should.
I try to Thank God for a No as many times as they come up!! I am certain that I have missed a few, but I learned the HARD way that it is not about my wants but what he has in store for me. My most recent Thank You for the No was with an opportunity for a house. We have had a rough couple of years and now are living in an apartment – seriously wanting a house. Opportunity that seemed perfect came about – but the answer was No (again) – I am thankful for whatever reason that is … I am certain that our HOME is in the near future.
this is one of the best things I’ve read lately – such a fabulously good reminder! thank you
Weird is sounding better and better….win a copy or not, I plan on getting this book.
Thanks for sharing.
Tasha
Lately I’ve thanked God that He didn’t remove me from a past trial as quickly as he wanted me to. Just recently I’ve seen evidence of lessons I learned in that hard season that I would have missed if He’d removed me when I first wanted Him to. The reminder to thank God for His no answers was timely–and the image of the imploded cake will stick in my mind for a long time. Thanks!
Long story short my husband was unfaithful and I wanted to leave him. I couldn’t because even though I knew I had every right to divorce biblically, I also knew God hates divorce. My husband and I are working on our marriage and trust again. I thank God for telling me ‘no divorce is not what you need’
I’m the second oldest of all five kids in my family. Three of them are married and the baby of the family is engaged to be married this year. God has not brought the right one into my life yet and I have to daily trust that He will take care of me. We’ve had a great journey together, me and Jesus, and I know he has my best in mind. Thanks for talking about this topic..great reminder.
So true…and getting to the point where your center is done is not for this life! Always a message that I can use, Lysa! Thank you!
So true Lysa. Friends of ours from our former church had asked if we would “be partners” with them in building a restaurant they were sure would be a huge success. The property was in a “great spot” and the food would be “superb.”
I was so excited and so wanted to be on board with the plans. My husband however, told me to get on my knees and seek God. I thought, “well, surely God’s hand is all over this—it’ll be a huge blessing!” Next morning while I was seeking the Lord, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart with “this is not for you, it (the restaurant will fail!” I was crushed. My husband had already heard that from the Lord but wanted me to seek Him for myself. We learned later the the eatery “failed miserably.” We would have lost “everything!” Thank God for the “no’s” in our life!!!
Wow….that is one of the best analogies I’ve ever heard and I’ve heard some very good stuff! Thank you, Lysa – that really reasonated in my heart. God has put it on my soul to also write a book….I know it is Him because I don’t really want to and He even gave me the title….hmmmm..?? Have a blessed Easter! He is risen indeed!!!
God said ‘no’ to getting my master’s degree in education. It all seemed right, I was accepted, it was the desire of my heart and would further his work but He said ‘no’. He let me know that it is not my knowledge that will get this job, it is His heart.
What a wonderful message, Lysa; thank you!
I’ve been dealing with exactly this in the last few weeks. It seems God had something special for me to learn during Lent this year. I keep wondering why, why, why He won’t pave the way for my boyfriend of over two years and I to just FINALLY get married. He has spoken to me about my own heart’s condition. Am I ready for such a commitment? Is Christ the center of my life, as He must be in a marriage? Is my boyfriend becoming my focus? My mind screams, “No, I want it now!” but my soul whispers, “Jesus, all I want is You.” He is working wonders in the hearts of His children.
God has said no in regards to a ministry I have REALLY enjoyed this passed year. Thankful for a husband who loves me enough to say – enough.
There is a country song out there that goes: “……….sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers……….some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers…..” My prayers were not unanswered. I just received a “no” when I wanted a yes. 19 years ago, in my early 20′s, I thought it should be “my turn” to meet the man of my dreams and get married, like so many of my friends were. But God planned otherwise, and allowed me the privilege of experiencing 2 years of ministry in Germany. It was during that time that God drew me into a very deep relationship with Him and brought me to a place of true contentment. One year after returning home, I was walking down the aisle in a white wedding dress, where a good friend of 5 years, was waiting for me………and we became husband and wife. We have now been married for almost 15 years. I’m so thankful He said “No, not yet” and had me wait and go through some amazing experiences as a single woman before surprising me with the wonderful gift of my husband.
Talk about “NO” hurting…………… I applied for a supervisory position at work. I didn’t get it and the person that did get has no clue about what we do. It wasn’t fair that I didn’t get the position. I knew the job, the programs, the procedures, etc….she didn’t. I was so hurt! Then God reminded me, haven’t I always taken care of you. I know what’s best for you. So, I received peace from God and put in His loving hands and trusting Him to help me be the employee for my new supervisor that He wants me to be.
Accepting infertility (God’s No to a child of my womb) I went through the mature, not so mature and the immature moments. I couldn’t love the daughters of anothers womb any more if they had come from mine. It is such a miraculous story and I still get misty eyed thinking of how God blessed me.
I am in the rut of want. I am the divorce mother of two teenage girls. I really WANT to find Mr. Right. I just started dating a man that I really like and I WANT this to be ‘the one’. At times I find myself obsessing over him and whether he could be it. Several times I have had to step back from myself and ask God for the patience to let this work out however HE is planning it to. It is very hard. I pray that if God says ‘no’, I accept it as His will and go on. Very timely message for me. THANK YOU LYSA.
i was in a rut of not living the risen life. God spoke as resurrection sunday aproached, He said resurrect the Christ in my. roll away the stone frome the tomb i put myself in. Jesus rose from the tomb to save the world. i needed to rise out of self to save those around starting with my house hold. God said He has risen and so can i. Thank you for your encourageing words blessing to you and yours.
I AM JUST STUCK ASKING GOD WHAT MY PURPOSE IN THIS LIFE IS. I HAVE BEEN MAKING FOOD MY GOD, AND THIS ONLY LEADS ME A LIFE OF DEPRESSION AND DESPAIR. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE BEYOND THE FOOD, AND INTO A LIFE OF GLORIFYING GOD OVER EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE
I work as a teacher’s aide and sometimes find myself with “dirty” jobs…the jobs no one wants to do, and yet, they have to be done. I had worked with older kids, doing higher math and other more difficult classes, but I was unexpectedly moved from a middle school setting because there was a much needed opening at the elementary school level (I wasn’t even asked). I want out…desperately…I didn’t go to college to babysit at 150 kids at lunch hour AND at recess (while teachers eat THEIR lunch in peace), and then have to deal with the other pressures of my job (doing duties my teacher requires of me, sitting with students who can NOT be in the “general” public, escorting students to the restroom, wiping bottoms, doing repeated addition and money problems with children who will NEVER “get it”). BUT, the LORD, in HIS infinite wisdom, has put me there for a reason. “How” I react to the treatment I get IS being “watched”. Teachers’ jobs are stressful, too, and although I do not often get thanked, I am doing a MUCH needed service in our schools. If I don’t do it, someone who might treat the kids badly MAY get the job. Thank You, Jesus, for saying “no” to me. Sometimes I don’t like the “no”, but I realize it IS for a reason!!
I work as a teacher’s aide and sometimes find myself with “dirty” jobs…the jobs no one wants to do, and yet, they have to be done. I had worked with older kids, doing higher math and other more difficult classes, but I was unexpectedly moved from a middle school setting because there was a much needed opening at the elementary school level (I wasn’t even asked). I want out…desperately…I didn’t go to college to babysit at 150 kids at lunch hour AND at recess (while teachers eat THEIR lunch in peace), and then have to deal with the other pressures of my job (doing duties my teacher requires of me, sitting with students who can NOT be in the “general” public, escorting students to the restroom, wiping bottoms, doing repeated addition and money problems with children who will NEVER “get it”). BUT, the LORD, in HIS infinite wisdom, has put me there for a reason. “How” I react to the treatment I get IS being “watched”. Teachers’ jobs are stressful, too, and although I do not often get thanked, I am doing a MUCH needed service in our schools. If I don’t do it, someone who might treat the kids badly MAY get the job. Thank You, Jesus, for saying “no” to me. Sometimes I don’t like the “no”, but I realize it IS for a reason!!
I work as a teacher’s aide and sometimes find myself with “dirty” jobs…the jobs no one wants to do, and yet, they have to be done. I had worked with older kids, doing higher math and other more difficult classes, but I was unexpectedly moved from a middle school setting because there was a much needed opening at the elementary school level (I wasn’t even asked). I want out…desperately…I didn’t go to college to babysit at 150 kids at lunch hour AND at recess (while teachers eat THEIR lunch in peace), and then have to deal with the other pressures of my job (doing duties my teacher requires of me, sitting with students who can NOT be in the “general” public, escorting students to the restroom, wiping bottoms, doing repeated addition and money problems with children who will NEVER “get it”). BUT, the LORD, in HIS infinite wisdom, has put me there for a reason. “How” I react to the treatment I get IS being “watched”. Teachers’ jobs are stressful, too, and although I do not often get thanked, I am doing a MUCH needed service in our schools. If I don’t do it, someone who might treat the kids badly MAY get the job. Thank You, Jesus, for saying “no” to me. Sometimes I don’t like the “no”, but I realize it IS for a reason!!
Thanks you so much Lysa for this lesson. It totally talks to my heart right now at this point in my life. I am struggling to find a job and on unemployment and God has a plan out there somewhere for me but I just have to wait on him for the right one. I am wanting to relocate but am waiting for it to be his will and not mine. It is very hard sometimes waiting for the him and not reacting to my emotions. My heart needs to know that wherever I am at in life Jesus is all I need and everything will work out just fine.
i’ve been stuck in a psuedo relationship for 3 years where the guy and i would depend so much on each other, be each toher’s special friend and yet not be a couple . we said we were christians , btu yet we depended more on each other than on God. finallyl God gave a verry very firm “no” to what we were doing, and because of circumstances my heart got broken into many pieces and i though ti lost my best friend forever. but its through the heartache that i see God so vividly and expereince the comfort that only He can give. that to have God say no was such a life changing experience, that i could share my testmiony and have the privilege of leading someone to Christ. that through my mistakes God being so gracious can allow it to turn into a privilege to share in His ministry.
God’s No – always the best answer
Thank you for the message, Lysa. I have been widowed for almost 8 years. Last winter I met a man and fell very deeply in love. One day the Lord opened my eyes, very widely, to this man and showed me he would go back to his old ways. I told nobody about this experience, but I became very angry. Needless to say, the Lord let people interfere, and ultimately, it “ruined” a chance for us. He no longer wants anything to do with me. I have cried like a baby, many times since then, but I know that this was good for me. I’m doing much better now, and I know it was for my own good. I didn’t expect to fall in love again, but it happened. Your letter today reminded me to thank God for what he did. He didnt want me in another bad relationship, and he saved me. Had he not let other people interfere, I would be with him still. Yes, even after he showed me what where this man would go. Falling in love can mess with your mind, if you’re not careful. Thank You Jesus for caring so much. It still hurts, but not as badly as it would have down the road! What did I learn? Always look to God in everything, and listen to what he says. Its for our own good. That’s how much he loves us!
Hi Lysa! You are always so inspiring! GOD said a big NO to us on adoption, but allowed us later to get pregnant with our 2nd child, another beautiful girl! My story is a long one, many ups and downs as I went through 2 neuro surgeries in between each child and lost my mom in the middle of all this, and trying to adopt! GOD told us no in many ways, only to prepare us for HUGE blessings! I would love to tell my story one day to other women. Don’t know how to get started. I want other women to know that there IS hope in Jesus no matter your circumstance. GOD is SO good all the time and all the time GOD is SO good! GOD Bless you and your ministry! You always have an apt word, words that I SO need to hear at that particular moment. Thank you!!! Julie
Proverbs 3:5-6
Lysa, I love to read your devotionals. God really speaks to me through them. I am experiencing a ‘no’ season. I am a school nurse and several of my colleagues have been let go b/c of financial cuts and I’m left alone in my profession in my little district. The others have landed great jobs. As you know, school nursing compared to other nursing isn’t on the greatest pay scales. Somedays I’m grateful I have a job….other days, I’m whining b/c God hasn’t dropped an exciting, well paying job in my lap, but has left me holding all the upcoming ‘potential’ problems for next year. Again, overwhelmingly He has whispered to my spirit that He has gone ‘before’, that He has this thing worked out, that He has not finished with me yet in this place…..even as I type all these words, I wonder why I have such little faith if the God of the universe loves me so much to whisper calming words to my spirit. I’ve learned alot about me through this season, in the hard times I just want to be picked up and be moved to an easier task. I don’t like the word no. On some days, I’ve been all over the internet looking for a job, how unusual it is for an RN not to find one.
Not really. I know who holds the key. He has another plan. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Thank you again for your encouragement. I first heard you in Longview, TX at the Feminar and then a friend sent Proverbs 31 devotional to me. You have ministered to me more than you know during this time. Coincidence? I think not!
My “No” was the healing of my 3rd child, Caleb. I found out at 11 weeks into my pregnancy that he would be born with his intestines outside of his body. I researched what that could mean and panicked. Iprayed frantically for God to heal him. At every single doctor’s appointment they seemed to discover more and more problems. The doctors began giving me a long list of things he would likely never do. I struggled with every visit to the doctor, but God kept reminding me HE was in control. Long story short, Caleb was born at 35 weeks–with the host of defects predicted and then some more. All the plans we had laid for his care were changed when he was sent to a hospital four hours away–and I could not go. The list of nevers grew again. God’s still small voice said “trust me”. Except for incotinence, Caleb has accomplished everything on that long list of things the doctors said he would NEVER do. He has an indominable spirit. Caleb makes everyone around him feel encouraged. I cannot think of a bigger blessing than being Mom to him.
Lately, all of my friends seem to be either engaged or married. I find myself suffering from wedding fever. I had to make myself stop watching Say Yes to the Dress. I can’t seem to stop thinking, “When will it be my turn???” But God keeps saying, “No. Keep waiting.” But after I read this blog, I’ll take this moment to thank God for his no.
Through the Proverbs 31 Ministries email I was so comforted understanding someone else lived my life. I believe these are like hugs we receive from Jesus that he never leaves us or forsakes us. My No, in my life which I am still living, started 2 years ago. I worked at NYPH in NYC for 17yrs and was picked after a 300 word essay describing why I wanted to take Neurology and train as an EEG technician. It was a free scholarship for 15months. I was so grateful because I thought an open door to excel. I went to school and received my degree. I waited 1yr and didn’t receive a new position. That meant to go back to my old department where I dreaded going because I felt I was going backwards. I then took a part-time job very far from home and worked as an EEG tech so I wouldn’t lose what you don’t use. The commute put a lot of strain on our family. So I stayed at NYPH and finally I received a call within our facility. I received an interview and was told I had the job. The very next day I called to pick up my transfer and I was told because of funding there was a freeze on the position. Talk about getting a door slammed in your face…. I questioned God why are you allowing this to happen? Was going to school just a waist of time? I started to have this heaviness about going back to work. I told my husband about it and he said we wouldn’t financially make it without my income. About 7 months later our church was organizing their first trip to Israel and our Pastor Bill was supposed to renew our 15yr vows in NYC. That didn’t happen the Lord opened doors for us to renew our vows in Israel. Praise the Lord. Also, a co worker came with us to Israel that didn’t know the Lord with her father and they both got saved. When we came back my husband sat me down and told me the Lord gave him a peace for me to leave my job. I then was able to dedicate all my time homeschooling our two daughters which were 13yr-14yr. I was happy but a little nervous. When I gave my resignation letter to my director she looked lost for words. She is not a Christian and I gave her a brief testimony of what was happening in my life and I was lead by the Lord to leave my job. She said the economy is very bad, and I’m vested there and should give it another thought. I left leaving “The Fathers love letter” to every co-worker in their mail box. Yes, to everyone over 60 people. You can retrieve it at http://www.fathersloveletter.com This amazing letter moves people because it is all scriptural. I later learned my director left her position and went for a less stressful position. My relationship with my daughters and husband has changed drastically. It has given my husband the head of household position that I couldn’t let go of before. I felt guilty in the beginning because I felt I wasn’t contributing the way I should. Then I was lead to read Genesis 3:19 and understood the sweat of the brow belonged to my husband and I was to be his helper. This may not be for everyone but this is where the Lord has me now. The Lord has provided for our bills. I have been able to spend more time with my mom who has manic schizophrenia, bipolar, since her teens and she is now 60. The Lord has built in me a patience and love that wasn’t their before. I started writing a book 3yrs ago about how merciful a God we serve. He has delivered me from many demons in my life just because of His mercy. Obedience and prayer have so much power through Him. Jesus saw how weak we were through the disciples, 3 times he went to see if they would watch and pray and they failed. Matt. 26:36-46,Mark 14:32-42,Luke 22:40-46. Then had to go to the cross. The Lord placed it in 3 different books so we can see, it’s through his mercy. Our obedience and prayer is power in our walk with God. We live our choices and reap what we sow. He gives us this warning in His word. So my No, is His yes. I’m learning His No with understanding He loves me more than anyone. He knows what I need in order to make Him Lord overall in my life. Thank you for your testimony, Lysa.
Lysa,
Thank you so much for this! I get the daily devotional and it led me here. I can identify with this very well. I have been looking for a job for over a year now. In some cases I’ve applied and not been chosen for interviews, but in others, I interviewed but wasn’t offered a position. I have run the gamut of emotions–I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve whined, I’ve even laughed about it at times. I’m in that place of wanting and waiting, and I am not a patient person by any means, though I am getting better. I have dealt with disappointment after disappointment, had my highest hopes dashed because God has said no to me. Like you, in my mature moments, I’ve said it just wasn’t meant to be, and I truly believe that. But I feel like I’ve had more immature moments than anything else in the last year. I will keep applying and praying, hoping and waiting. Whatever He has for me will be beyond what I can even ask for, I know that much. He has provided for me over the last year, even though I’ve been frustrated and angry for most of it. I am so thankful He loves me anyway
. I am also thankful He led me here today. Thank you so much and God bless you!
I had to grin at some of the words you’ve put here
so true, and so me!
I’ve been stuck in that rut of want but didn’t know what to call it. Thank you for your words of wisdom. My brain knew better, but I still do a lot with my own strength. Wish i’d have found this a couple weeks ago!
I am n a no season right now. We live 12 hours from my family and sometimes it seems so hard to have to live life without them with us. We had an opportunity to move back home-4 hours from my parents. We accepted the offer(long story) and then it was given to someone else. For 2 weeks I had dreamed about being in a warmer climate, spending all holidays with my family, my kids having their grandparents around more often and it was swooped away in one phone call. I know God has a reason for us to be here and I trust His plan, but there is still the sorrow and loss of His no. I am now having to patiently wait and see what he has in store for me.
I am 36-years-old. Single. In fact, I have never actually dated. Just recently I told my sister that’s it my fault that I’m single. Yet, later I cried out to the Lord and begged Him to show me that it wasn’t my fault at all. I realized that, if I believe my marital status is “all my fault” then I have taken God completely out of the picture. I’ve never purposefully or willfully tried not to find a mate and have always thought I believed God could bring him into my life at any time….yet even friends and family have hinted that I haven’t done enough and should try “this” and “that” to find a boyfriend/husband. Honestly, I’ve never really thought God was saying “no.” I have always believed, underneath, that I was/am, indeed, doing something wrong. That it’s my fault. My defect. My punishment. But….just yesterday God brought to mind that He wants me to focus on healing from years of depression and a recent mental health diagnosis as well as the renewing of my mind. This post speaks directly to this…..thank you. I want to believe that God IS saying “no” because then the weight of condemnation can be lifted from my shoulders. His “no” would be freeing…..but I keep holding back…thinking and believing that it is I who needs to take full responsibility for my actions, decisions…life…that it is my fault that I am here, approaching 40, unmarried and without children. Is it really okay to believe that God has brought me here because of His “no?”
Lysa,
Thank you so much for your blog. I start my day at work with them and they always speak to me. Just like one of your other readers, I do not like it when God tells me “no”. I look around and see others who have what God is telling me “no” about or “not right now”. I’ve spent months, if not years feeling really sorry for myself and shedding many, many tears. It’s not fair, I whine. I didn’t choose all my circumstances that have contributed to where I find myself now. But, I know God can polish up all the waiting, into gems. I like to think that I’ve had to go through spiritual rehab during the last 6 months. I then started spiritual boot camp. I know He has plans for me and He’s preparing me. A couple of months ago, after my world changed; I found myself in a city I didn’t want to be in. I woke up one morning praying, whining, crying out to the Lord. Then dried my tears and picked up HIs letter to me for my quiet time with Him. This is what He responded to me with,
The Lord says, “Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it?
I will make a road in the desert and rivers in the dry land.” Isaiah 43:18-19
Isn’t God so awesome?!
So I’ll stay here in the desert (New Mexico) and keep my eyes and ears open for what He wants me to learn during my Spiritual bootcamp. And watch for what He has in store for me that’s better than what I had to leave behind.
Renata
Hi lysa
you really inspire me in all your messages and yes on so many occasions God has said no to me and like most of us i have wondered if he is even listening and after i have given up on the whys and whens he shows me that had he given me what i had requested for at the time i wouldn’t be happy so lam learning to wait on God in everything and the daily devotions from the proverbs 31 ministries help during those long waits.
God bless you immensely.
Dear Lysa,
Your post, “Escaping the Rut of Want,” speaks to me on so many levels!
I can completely identify with wanting my dreams to come true and wanting to make it happen now, not later.
Thank you for reminding me of the importance and necessity of relying on God’s wisdom and plan for my life and waiting on and trusting in His timing!
It is SO important that I have a “done” center so when my dreams do come true, I won’t like the half-baked cake, implode!
May God continue to bless you, your family, and your writing ministry!
Sincerely,
Alexis
I hate the word “no”. I hate saying NO and definitely hate hearing it. But unfortunately for me, “No” is a word i hear a lot. Or at least it feels that way. I have been praying for years to find a husband, and have a family. Like you said in your post, “When God says no, we are sometimes tempted to wonder if He loves us. In reality, it’s because He loves us, He sometimes says no.” I have often wondered if he really does want the desires of my heart. I have prayed for wisdom, and focus for years in regards to this. Even in the letting go of my desires, i was often left feeling misunderstood by God. This often lead me to a mistrust of who He really is in all areas of my life.
Most recently i left my job (my security) to pursue my artistic desires of photography and writing. To the world this step looks premature as i don’t have solid leads and very little to go on. I definitely don’t have promise of income. But this time, i am ready for the “no”. Not because i am setting myself up to fail. But because i am excited about the journey God is taking me on. I have never sought him with such fervor before because without his guidance, i won’t be able to take a step. I have felt an overwhelming pull from the Lord for a while now to take risks and to join him with a sort of reckless abandon. Self sustained security has always been a struggle for me. Letting God take the reigns and to truly give into his callings has been extremely difficult. This recent job status change is forcing me to rely on Him and him alone. Its turning my world view on its head. I am thankful now for God’s No’s. Its in those No’s that i am learning about his provision, his growth in the resting, and his desire to be my shepherd.
THank you for being a vessel for God’s wisdom.