Lysa TerKeurst | 2011 March

Thursday, March 31

I was her

I saw her coming across the arena. Deliberately. Intentionally. Her eyes fixed on the stage… on me… on what I must have represented in that moment, a woman who might understand.

Through the crowd. Up the stairs. Across the stage. She stood next to me pressing her shoulder against mine as I was speaking to 6500 women.

And there she was staring out at thousands. But pressing into one. Needing more than words.

Later she explained she needed to feel God and thought if she stood close enough to me, she just might be able to feel Him.

I didn’t have time to carefully plan what to do. I’ve never had this happen before. I’ve never seen this happen. It wasn’t even on my scope of possibility. But there she was. And there I was. Two women who simply and desperately need Jesus.

And because I am so hyper aware of my own desperation for Jesus every moment of every day, I simply wrapped my arm around her and kept on speaking.

It was a wrinkle in time. Something that wasn’t supposed to be and yet was. And I think I now know why.

I needed to remember that ravenous longing I once had to press against somebody who knew Jesus. I was her. Looking at other people’s faith wondering how to get that. That depth. That closeness. That unswerving conviction.

I truly thought if only a person with that faith would let me close enough, I’d discover their secret. I’d learn their routines. I’d mimic their obedience. I’d follow them to the ends of the earth until I got it right. Then, then, then, I’d feel close to Jesus. I’d understand the Bible. I’d pray powerful prayers. And all would finally make sense.

However, there is a big difference between being close to people who love Jesus and being close to Jesus Himself.

I can certainly learn from people. “He who walks with the wise, grows wise.” (Proverbs 13:20)

But if I want closeness with Jesus, I won’t find that in following anyone but Jesus Himself. He is the One who must be pursued.

There have been a thousand whispers from my heart, “Show me, Jesus. Show me how to follow you, be close to you, press into you, be more like you… show me. Show me today. Show me in this minute. Show me, please Jesus, show me.”

A thousand whispers. And there will surely be thousands more. For Jesus isn’t One to be figured out. And closeness isn’t something that can ever be explained.

He simply says, “Follow me.” And those who dare to whisper and then walk, find Him.

Yes, there she was. And there I was. Two women who simply and desperately need Jesus.

And they got their pants in a wad

Hi sweet friends. Don’t you wish we were gathering together for coffee this morning?

Me too.

We have a little thunderstorm brewing here in the Carolinas and it just feels like the perfect morning for coffee with friends.

In heaven, I hope to have the biggest sticky farm table you’ve ever seen and you’re all invited… every morning. I’ll serve the best tasting coffee cake you’ve ever put in your mouth… except it will have the molecular structure of avocados which are super healthy. But it will taste like coffee cake because that’s how we’ll roll in heaven.

Bliss.

But, you’ll have to bring the coffee because I stink at making it. I know. It’s a mental block of some sort.

I also stink at crafts. Oh, I used to subscribe to the mommy magazines that were all “do it and your kids will be so happy.” I have one word to describe the reality of a TerKeurst crafting moment… DISASTER.

Ask Marybeth about the time we tried to make ancient ship replicas out of paper mache. After two days the mold had grown so thick on the bottom of our ships, her whole house smelled of rotten cheese. Lovely.

There’s also the time I attempted to grow sea monkeys. I am guest posting about that monumental moment over at InCourage today. If you have ever felt you were missing the crafting, cooking and cleaning mom genes, click here.

You’ll feel much better about yourself. I promise.

It’s good to know we’re not alone.

And if you have a moment more, would you pick one commenter from yesterday’s post (click here) and write a little prayer for that person in the comments today? Or, write a prayer for a friend of yours who is struggling with feeling far from God. You can keep their name anonymous if you need to… God knows their name.

It’s just such an important topic, I feel the urgent need to get all my bloggy friends praying today.

And pray for me as I turn yesterday’s post into a devotion that will go out to over 400,000 people right before Easter.

There will be some people who get their pants all in a wad about the topic of the “unsaved Christian.” But, honestly, there are so many women who call themselves Christians out of tradition or association but have never received Jesus as their Lord. I’m stepping knee deep into one of Satan’s most cruel deception tactics to breathe freedom into the lives of many sisters.

I just need to know you’ll be praying.

Like I said, it’s good to know we’re not alone.

The unsaved Christian

At the conference on Saturday I met a beautiful woman about my age. I don’t know many details about her life. I don’t if she is single or married… if she has kids or not… if she works outside the home or in her home. But what I do know is she’s been going to church for a long time.

Not only has she been going but she’s been involved serving, giving, and doing all the right church stuff.

But, something was missing.

“I never could quite put my finger on it until this weekend,” she whispered. “I never knew what it really meant to have a relationship with Jesus. But hearing you explain it, something clicked. I walked forward today. I gave my heart to Jesus.”

She brushed her long dark hair away from her eyes and I could see the sparkle, the joy, the realization of salvation. Scattered pieces of faith coming together to make the picture of Jesus more clear, more solid, more applicable in her life.

A fresh vision of hope.

And I wondered what part of what I shared made this profound click happen in her soul?

Of course, it was the Holy Spirit moving… but somehow in the midst of me sharing the broken places of my life, things came together in hers.

It got me thinking about us doing life together here on the blog. A few moments whispering truths back and forth over the internet learning how to navigate life as Jesus girls. But all that we talk about is for nothing if our hearts stay far from Jesus.

It’s not about momentary motivation to make it through today.

It’s not about spiffy quotes to ponder and put into practice.

It’s not about relationship tactics and turnkey solutions.

It’s not about bite-size pieces of peace to make life a little more manageable.

It’s not about making our lives look and feel a little better.

It has to be about Jesus.

And drawing our hearts into His reality. His grace. His love. His hope. His forgiveness. And most of all the free gift of salvation because of Him.

If there is even one of my bloggy friends like this woman from this weekend who can’t put her finger on what’s missing but is just bouncing from one religious activity to the next… sweet sister can we chat?

God doesn’t want us to have a religion. A religion is where we follow rules hoping to do life right, and we serve God out of duty because we think we have to.

God wants us to have a relationship. A relationship where we follow Him. And we serve God not out of duty but out of delight because of the realization of who we are in Him.

For years, I defined myself as the broken child of a broken daddy. I went to church to get a little “God goodness” in my life. But it was like putting fresh paint on rotting wood. I was living just like those talked about in Isaiah 29:13, “The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’ ”

It wasn’t until I realized I didn’t have to be defined by the circumstances of my life. I could be defined by the reality of who God says I am. I wasn’t a broken child of a broken daddy… I was a forgiven and loved child of the Most High God… my Heavenly Father.

I didn’t need a little “God goodness” to rub off on me… I needed God to invade the deepest parts in me.

I didn’t need to be just following the rules. I needed to be following God Himself.

So, I knelt down in the midst of my messy, chaotic, confused life… and started a relationship with Him by simply saying yes.

Yes, I am a sinner in need of a Savior.

Yes, I acknowledge Jesus Christ as the son of God, sent to die on a cross and be resurrected on the third day to save me from my sins.

Yes, I want Jesus to be the Lord and Master of my life.

Yes, I am a now and forever will be a forgiven and saved child of the Almighty God.

Yes, I will follow Jesus today, tomorrow, and every other day I’m blessed with on this earth.

Oh sister, let me quiet the voice of Satan screaming to resist this process because you won’t be able to live this out perfectly. Jesus has never ever asked for us to be perfect. He simply wants us perfectly surrendered. I often pray, “Oh Jesus… I am such a mess but I am Yours. Show me… help me… forgive me… reassure me… and pour your tender mercy upon me.”

And He does.

And He always will.

My imperfections are safely tucked within the reality of His perfection.

And I simply press on by continuing to say YES moment by imperfect moment… day by imperfect day.