Lysa TerKeurst | 2011 February

Monday, February 28

Conformed or Transformed?

The choice is mine. If I want to be a sold out somebody for God, I have to break away from the everybody crowd.

Matthew 7: 13- 14 says: “Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention.”

This is not easy for a girl who wanted nothing more growing up than to fit in.

Don’t cause waves. Don’t stand out. Don’t stand up. Don’t rock the boat of norm in anyway. Just go with the flow.

But somewhere along my Christian journey, going with the flow started to bother me.

Verses like the one above in Matthew 7 and Romans 12:2 started to mess with my status quo existence. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Conformed or transformed? The choice is mine. If I want to be a sold out somebody for God, I have to break away from the everybody crowd.

When I was writing “Made to Crave”. I started to have doubts and wanted to stop writing the book. I pictured women coming up to the book table at my events, glancing at my book, rolling their eyes and saying “um, no thank you. You can mess with my insecurity, my pride and my anger… but not my food.”

Giggling, they’d bee-line over to the conference refreshment table and mock me by putting 6 doughnuts on their plate.

And oh my heavens the thought of that scene made me sweat.

Suddenly, I was feeling like that girl in middle school standing at her locker who just realized everyone had been invited to Mike’s house for a party- except me. I’d even worn a new Izod to school that day. The pink one with the green alligator. The one I just knew would be the secret to acceptance and popularity. I twisted my toes inside my jelly shoes and willed the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

Now, here I was a grown women imagining the same feelings of rejection and shame. I was going to invest so much time, effort and heart into a project that no one but me and my friend and assistant Holly cared about. (Do you see how twisted up Satan can make us?)

Conformed or transformed? The choice is mine. If I want to be a sold out somebody for God, I have to break away from the everybody crowd.

My new getting healthy plan was all part of breaking away. This was not just a diet. This was not just another quest to get thin. This was a spiritual journey that would yield great physical benefits. It was not easy but it was good.

God made me to consume food, but food was never supposed to consume me. If I wanted to grow closer to God, I would have to distance myself from consuming distractions.

What’s your distraction? What’s the one way you can start to break away from the everybody crowd?

Oh sweet sister, I know this is tough stuff for a Monday morning. It would be so much more fun to chat it up about a sale Target is having or what color toe nail polish will be in for this spring. And while we will discuss the toe nail polish thing soon…. today is reflection day. A locate your soul and ponder day. A good day for honesty.

Conformed or transformed? The choice is ours. If we want to be a sold out somebody for God, we have to break away from the everybody crowd.

The three things wife

When I first got married I was determined to figure out how to do this “wife” thing well. Desperate to be a good wife, I made note of what ‘good wives’ did.

* She cooks meatloaf.
* She vacuums every day so there are lines in the carpet indicating its cleanliness.
* She sticks love notes in his brief case.
* She buys and wears lingerie.
* She likes wearing lingerie and wears it three times a week.
* She gives him his space when he gets home.
* She hangs up the phone when he walks in the door.
* She learns facts about football and watches games with him.
* She prays for him everyday.

And the list grew and grew.

Eventually, the list in my head of what a good wife does, so completely overwhelmed me I cried. I felt inadequate. I started to shut down.

I assumed the list in my head was in my husband’s head too.

I grew bitter. And in a moment of complete exhaustion, I yelled, “Your expectations are ridiculous!”

To which he replied, “What expectations?”

“The list… the list of hundreds of things I need to do to be a good wife,” I sobbed through the snot and the tears.

His blank stare dumbfounded me. He had no such list.

I had so broadened my scope of things to do, I had diminished my vision of simply loving him.

Do less. Be more.

“Honey,” I said feeling the entanglements of expectations loosening their grip on me, “I can’t do everything good wives seem to do. But I can do three things. So, tell me your top three things and I will do those well.”

After all, I could spend a whole marriage doing a hundred things half-way with a bitter attitude and an overwhelmed spirit.

Or, I could do 3 things whole-heartedly with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

His 3 things were simple… Be an emotionally and spiritually invested mom with our kids, take good care of your body and soul, and keep the house tidy. (Notice it says tidy- not perfectly clean.) That’s it.

He could care less about home cooked meals. He is fine with me hiring someone else to vacuum lines into the carpet. And he’s totally okay if I watch 48 hours mystery while on a different TV he watches the man cub events.

Now, he didn’t say anything about lingerie. But, he could argue that it is a subplot of me taking good care of my body. The problem is I’m much more of a sweatpants kind of girl. Yes, Victoria has a little secret and I haven’t a clue what it is.

But that’s a topic for another day entirely.

For today, I’ve narrowed my scope to three things which has broadened my vision for a great marriage.

I am a three things wife. It’s simple. But simple is good.

I love a great quote or two

I’m guest posting over at (In)Courage today and would love to have you pop over for a visit by clicking here.

Yesterday, I had the privilege to hear my pastor, Steven Furtick, preach it up at the Chick-Fil-A seminar. Did y’all know my husband is a Chick-Fil-A operator? If you’re new visiting here, you may have missed that. Seriously, I love this company.

I especially love that I can attend business meetings all day with the amazingly smart people who run this company while my dress is on backwards and they just smile and love me anyways. Of course, had I know my dress was on backwards I would have fixed it. But, alas the whole day scooted right by before I realized this small little factoid.

I am such a fashionista.

Anyhow, I thought I’d just share a few of the amazing quotes from my pastor’s business sermon yesterday.

Amazing.

Inspiring.

Worth pondering.

“If the size of the vision for your life isn’t intimidating to you, chances are it’s insulting to God.”

“Sometimes God allows us to see the miracle. Sometimes God allows us to BE the miracle.”

“If you are going to ask God to make the sun stand still, you better be prepared to march all night.”

This one was to the single guys in the room but it made me laugh so hard I snorted… “If you want to meet a godly girl, don’t be going down to the club on Thursday night. Put some product in your hair and go serve on the greeter’s committee at church.”

“When you do what you can do, then God will do what only He can do.”

I love quotes.

And I love dresses that can be worn both ways. Never mind the tag stitching totally giving away my secret.

And I love giving away prizes… The winner of yesterday’s 5 book giveaway is…Becky J. !! Please email Holly@Proverbs31.org to claim your books!

If you live in, around, or near Tulsa, OK, I will be speaking at the Mabee Center on March 4-5. I would be so honored to meet you at my book table! Please click here for more info on this amazing event.

Happy Wednesday y’all. Eat more chicken.