Kind? True? Necessary?

If you are visiting today from the my P31 Devotion called “Words,” welcome! 

I’m giving away my book “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” to 2 randomly chosen commenting friends.  To participate in today’s give away, click on the word comments below and follow the prompts.

If ever there was a day I needed to preach to myself, today is that day. 

Now that school is back in session we always seem to be running on a tight schedule.  And when demands are high, and time is low I can be tempted to just squeeze Jesus into my schedule rather than really focusing on what He wants to teach me that day.  Then I wonder why my fuse is short and my words more edgy.  Can anyone relate?

Well, my “Words” devotion today talked about making the commitment to ask ourselves 3 questions before speaking: 

“Are my words kind?” 
“Are my words true?”
“Are my words necessary?”

I’m convinced the reason it’s so crucial I spend a little time with Jesus each day is so that He can prepare me for what He sees I’ll be facing that day.  Inevitably I’ll read a Bible verse that sticks in my brain and softens my heart.  And a soft heart is able to hear when Jesus whispers, “Pause.”

He reminds me to think before reacting when I face that situation for which He already prepared me.  When I stop to pause, ask those 3 crucial questions, and let Jesus untangle my natural flesh response, everyone is better off.  Boy, does that save me from having to go back and mop up emotional messes later.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is even on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord” (Psalm 139: 1-4). 

The Lord perceives the thoughts we’ll think and the words we’ll speak in response and He wants to prepare us, interrupt us, and maybe even rearrange us. He loves us enough to desire to protect us from ourselves.

So, who wants to commit to spending a little more intentional time with Jesus?  And pausing before speaking?  Leave a comment below making a commitment about your words.  I’ll announce the winner of today’s drawing for “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl” and the other drawings from this week on Monday’s blog.

Have a kind words weekend.  Again, preaching to myself today.  Smiles.


  1. Sherry Greene says

    Wow I had just finished reading an e-mail and I was praying about my response and then I read this devotion. I think I will wait on my response…thanks for the challenge!

  2. says

    I wish I had read this earlier in the week, it is always good to ask, are these words kind, true, necessary? Believing this will work well in all our relationships, not just friends, but family as well!!

  3. says

    My five year old grandson came home from “kinder” today and we talked about “words”….he told me that we must always watch our “reckless” words. The ones that we speak in haste, anger or when we have not listened, and just respond without thinking. Since I had just read your devotional on “Words”, I think that the Lord was truly speaking to me. Thanks

  4. Becky Mashinter says

    We are studying Becoming More… in our weekly women’s Bible study right now. This week I had an experience at the Deli counter in our local grocery store. I was next in line. When it came time for me to order my meat, a very rude man pushed in front of me and announced he was next! Fortunately I am becoming more than a good Bible study girl and I went with my second response which was to operate reflecting God’s love. I just love this practical stuff! Thanks Lysa 🙂

  5. Tanya says

    Oh Lyssa how very true are your “words”. God has filled you with the sprit to reach out to us so that we may be reminded to take time for our Heavenly Father. Without him, nothing else matters. When I take a breath and reach out to scripture, my entire being softens and everything around me benefits. Love is God is Love is God…

  6. says

    God bless you Lysa. Being honest i always having problem with spending more time-quality time with Jesus and also controlling what comes out from my mouth.
    But as I read your sharing today, God really spoke to me that its not too late for me to change and make new commitment before Him.

    “Dear Lord,from today onwards help me to spent more time with You so that I will able to understand what You really want to teach me in my spiritual growth. Guard my mouth and my heart so that I will learn to control myself when I talk to others. Let everything comes out from my mouth be a blessing to others.In Jesus’ Name I pray.Amen”

    God bless!

  7. Barbara Martino says

    Today, my husband, our kids & I took our annual trip out to a lovely little town with lots of little shops. In one of the shops I saw a plaque with these EXACT words “Don’t say anything unless it is kind, true and necessary”. The necessary part really stuck as I often say things (particularly about an individual) that are not necessary to say. When I got home & found this in my mailbox I thought “Oh, yes!, this is no coincidence, God is speaking to me about this!” Growth time!!

  8. Teresa T. says

    Wow! As usual God’s timing is perfect! Just this evening my husband and I got into a disagreement over how much screen time our 10 year old son should. I tried to keep my mouth shut but his words cut to the bone. I wanted to express my frustration over his misunderstanding and hurtful comments. I kept my comments to a minimum and spoke what was truth while “attempting” to be kind. I pray that God will work on both of our hearts so that we can be on the same page when it comes to the parenting issues. I also pray that God will give us eyes to see how our words spoken in anger can hurt those you love. The hard part is forgiving and letting go of the hurt but I know that it must be done.

  9. Lisa Jones says

    Thank you for sharing a word that I needed to hear as I seek wisdom in parenting my 3-year-old.

  10. Christina Thompson says

    Taking the time to talk and listen to God is a real challenge for me as I homeschool my 8 year old and struggle to keep a very busy 3 year old out of trouble. I know I need to make time for Bible study but have a hard time making the commitment. Thanks for the reminder…love your devotions!

  11. Lois Spaay says

    WOW…every post that comes to me each day is SO right for that day! I have been the guilty party of this particular issue…choosing my words wisely! Thank you for the profound and EASY way to “check” myself before I speak!!

  12. says

    Lysa, thank you for your words today. It is important not just for the kids to heed these words, but sometimes (in my case) for the parents as well. I really need to consider my words before they come up and possibly stop them if they’re going to be harmful. Thank you!!

  13. Tammy says

    Hello all my sisters in Christ!! I would like to say we are well, however we are struggling. We are obeying Gods word and by His grace we are surviving right now, Praise Jesus!! Please, please, any of you who reqad his, please pray for us. We know there is power in prayer! We are both, my husband and I, looking for work. I have a 2nd interview with AFLAC! I want it to be in Gods will. We are behind 380. on Sept rent and now October! Our gas is still off. We need 300. and a reconnect fee to get it back on. We have shut off notices for our electric and water bills now. Our car has no spare, it needs to be fixed; and a slow leak in one of the tires!! Among other things we need to get it registered and inspected for NJ. Still has VA plates! Sooooooo……… 🙂
    PRAYER and FAITH!! We do have so very, very much to be thankful for and somhow God has met every need every day: so we continue to just wait on Him as we do whatever we can do. One day at a time. God is great!! Thankyou for praying for us.
    Thankyou, God Bless, David and Tammy Goff…and Kyle too!!! 😉

  14. Tina says

    As I read your words today I was reminded of the words I hear daily at work. I am an elementary school teacher, and even though it is a public school, I am fortunate that my principal is a christian. He is very big on the idea of watching our words, and has 2 mottos or creeds that he reminds our students of each morning on our announcements.
    One is: Think before you speak. Think before you act.
    The other is an acronym for THINK:
    Before you say something, ask yourself:
    T – Is is true?
    H – Is it helpful?
    I – Is it inspiring?
    N – Is it necessary?
    K – Is it kind?

    What a better place our world would be if we all put these ideas into practice in our lives.
    I pray daily that I will remember these words as I go through my day.

  15. Denise says

    Did I need this today! I am going to choose to pause before I speak and ask myself those questions you mentioned so I don’t react and or say something wrong. Thanks for the post!

  16. Sha says

    This is refreshingly true and if we al spoke these words we would’nt have unspeakable conflicts or misunderstandings when it comes to work, school, or even at home. And I believe it couldchange the way some people speak an dtheir attitude they sometimes deny having.!


  17. debra says

    I needed to have read this many hours ago… Many times I feel the Lord tugging at my heart when I am about to say something I shouldn’t, but I CHOOSE not to listen. Now,I am going to choose to listen. I want my words to be pleasing to him!

  18. Natalie says

    Would love to win your new book. And yes, I have been having to bite my tounge over and over with some family (sibling) issues, and it is very hard. would be nice to have some scriptures to recite to myself to help me keep my cool. Psalm 141:3 is a current favorite!!!

    Psalm 141:3
    3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
    keep watch over the door of my lips.

  19. says

    I commit to asking the three questions…kind? necessary? true? There are certain people in my life for which i need to work on me especially. I don’t have children to teach or anyone to let disorder in my home but me. So here i go.

  20. Jessica Coe says

    Very true words, I really needed to hear this today and found your page! God works in mysterious ways!

  21. Nikki says

    Thank you, this is a great reinforcement of a practice I haven’t truly implemented. I’ve tried to spend at least a few quite minutes every day, praying to the Lord that he would heal my heart and fill it with his love, replace my “worldly thoughts” with his thoughts, and guide my every word that they would be his words. I ask him to come into every part of my being that I might reflect his way and not my own. When I actually do this my day is so much more calm and peaceful, and filled with the fruits of the spirit. I really like the three easy questions to ask ourselves (and possibly God) before we allow our own words to be released on the world “Are my words Kind? True? Necessary? “

  22. Gina says

    Kind, Necessary and True! These can apply to the office as well as our homes! Thank you for sharing!

  23. says

    Unfortunately, I have a tendency to engage my mouth before my brain. Your “kind, true, and necessary” tests made me squirm. Thank you for such a real reminder of how to live out God’s challenge! Hugs to you! Dee

  24. Terri says

    I already have this book…and 4 others you wrote. You inspire me to want to dig in to His word. You make me feel like I’m coming over for coffee whenever I open your books. What Happens When Women Say Yes to God set me on a path of being on fire for God. I am finally understanding what it means to be joyful in serving and not feel like it’s an obligation. God is stretching me more than I ever thought possible, and your book started the process. I give ulitmate credit to my Jesus, but your words and encouragement and raw honesty helped open me up to the possibility that my life could be so much more. Thanks for taking the time to be a missionary for God through your books.

  25. Vickie Haller says

    Precious Lysa,
    It was a blessing to hear you speak at the Metro Center in Rockford, IL. yesterday. Nov. 6th
    I get Encouragement for Today from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Now I know who you are! You have blessed my life. Love in Christ, Vickie

  26. says

    Have a kind words weekend. I like that challenge at the end of your post, especially as I work in a call centre at the weekends, which is always challenging.

    Psalm 139 was a favourite Psalm of mine before I became a Christian and still is the Psalm I turn to when I need encouragement.

    I am so glad, I dropped by your blog to catch up on being a Proverbs 31 woman.
    God Bless