Thank you sweet sisters for praying me through this week. I have to admit, heading into this taping I was scared. Beyond nervous. Slightly having a little internal panic session.
It wasn’t a lack of preparation. I knew the material for this “Made to Crave” project. I wrote it. I live it. These weren’t prepared speeches I had to memorize. These were messages burning and churning and demanding to be delivered.
But there was this desperate feeling inside of me. Sometimes I just wish Jesus would sprout some skin so I could see Him and touch Him and look into the face of all certainty, you know what I mean?
I guess that’s why our relationship with Jesus is called faith. Coming to know ‘certainty’ without ever physically seeing it. And simply letting the eyes of our soul lock with His.
It reminded me of this story with Brooke…
Many times throughout Brooke’s childhood, I’ve come to realize the importance of my mother’s touch to her especially. All of my kids like a hug, a pat on the shoulder, a hand of comfort on their back, but to Brooke these gentle touches seem to be a lifeline.
Recently, she had a performance with her praise dance team from school. All the girls looked especially beautiful dressed in all white, their hair pull gently back from their faces, and an extra measure of grace in each of their steps.
I couldn’t wait to see Brooke perform these dances she’d been working on and talking about for weeks. She loves getting up on a stage so I expected her to be full of smiles and giggles. But just a few minutes before the performance was about to begin a very distraught Brooke made her way to the audience to find me.
With tears streaming down her cheeks, she explained that the teacher had moved her from the front row to the back row and she didn’t know the back row’s part. I assured her everything would be fine. I whispered, “Honey just get up there and watch the other girls for cues and follow in step. You know this dance Brooke. You’ll be fine.”
She sobbed back, “I won’t be fine if I mess up and I know I’m going to mess up.”
That’s when it occurred to me. She would need my touch to get through this. But she and I both knew that it would not be possible for my arm to reach all the way up to the stage.
So, I quickly whispered, “Brooke, lock your eyes with mine and mommy will touch you with my smile. Don’t look at anyone or anything else. Don’t even look at the other girls dancing. It doesn’t matter if you mess up. What matters is that you keep your eyes on me the whole time. We’ll do this together.”
“The whole time Brooke,” I replied as I watched my brave girl walk away to take her place in line. Several times during the dance, Brooke fell out of step. Her arms would go down when the rest of the back row lifted theirs up. She would go left and bump into the others headed right. She knew her steps weren’t perfect so her eyes brimmed with tears.
However, the tears never fell. With her eyes perfectly locked on my smiling face, she danced.
She danced when the steps came easy. She danced when her steps got jumbled. She danced even when her emotions begged her to quit. She danced the whole way through. She danced and I smiled.
I smiled when her steps were right on track. I smiled when they weren’t. My smile was not based on her performance. My smile was born out of an incredible love for this precious, courageous, little girl. As she kept her attention focused solely on my smile and the touch of my gaze, it was as if the world slowly faded away and we were the only ones in the room.
This is the way God wants me to dance through life.
Though I can’t physically see Him, my soul pictures it so clearly. In my mind’s eye He is there.
The touch of His gaze wraps about me, comforts me, assures me, and makes the world seem so strangely dim. As long as my gaze is locked on His, I dance and He smiles.
The snickers and jeers of others fade in the strangest way. Though I hear their razor sharp intentions, they are unable to pierce my heart and distract my focus. Even my own stumblings don’t cause the same feelings of defeat. My steps so often betray the desire of my heart. But it is not my perfect performance that captures His attention. Rather my complete dependence on Him.
He then whispers, “Hold on to Me and what I say about you,” He says. “For my words are the truth of who you are and the essence of what you were created to be.” I then imagine Him pausing and, with tears in His eyes and a crack in His voice, He adds, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
His truth frees you from the chains of doubt and despair. His truth frees me from feeling too unable and inadequate to try and pursue God in an all out way. His truth washes over me as I tentatively whisper, I want to be a woman who says yes to God.
And in that moment, with my eyes locked on His, I am.
This story about Brooke was taken from my book, “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.”
I have tears streaming down my face, your words are so beautiful…
I just love the visual of locking “soul-eyes” with Christ. I can do that, even when I crave the flesh and bone. He is just as real as what I can touch and focusing on Him makes the rest of the world dim. Thank you, thank you!
All I can do right now is sit here and cry. As I was reading this your words written on the page, turned into God’s voice speaking directly to my ears. HE reminded me who I was in HIM.
Beautiful story. I want more than ever to have a heart that will always think of Jesus and not myself. I want a heart that will think first to pray for those who hurt me or disapoint me. Thank you Lysa. This brought back a lot of memories when my daughters were small. Wish I had known then what I know now, especially about handling situations!
Ms. Terkeurst, I saw you on TBN talking about “What Happens…” and have been eyeing the book in CBD and was led to invite women for a Christian book club with your book as the first one. I have invited women at all levels in their faith and walk with God and am contemplating even inviting some LDS women. They are considered Christian so do you think they will be able to fully relate to your book as well? Or will it need special care? I am a 35 yr old mom and wife and do not really feel qualified to lead a “ministry” per-se but I hope by getting these women together to share, they will take home some more of what God has for them. Thank you for your time and it is a blessing to discover the work the Lord is doing through you. I am so excited to read your books and blog and learn more.
Dear Lysa:
I was reading the online magazine Kyria and saw your ad for your book, Becoming More. I want to thank you. I order from christian book.com the next day. I like want you have to say about serving God and how our daily lives impact us so much. Thank you for the videos. They helped me figure out a way to serve my church and God with child care, cooking and singing. (all of which I’m not very good at) I enrolled in the grief ministry program to help help deal with the loss of someone. I’ve lost someone in my life and I care about sharing stories and helping. This is my place. Thank you Lysa for all that you do. You have made a difference in my life.
I find this story so compelling. I’ve heard it said many times that we so often seek Jesus’ hand when we should seek his face. I pray that all of us will seek his face, to lock our “soul-eyes” with Christ and know He is real and He is the truth. I know I need to seek Him more. I need to look for his eyes so that I am more able to show Him to others.
I loved this Lysa! I am going to forward it to my daughter-in-law who leads an expressive worship (dance) group at her church. They have been practicing for months, and this weekend they will perform at church. I think this will encourage them to keep their eyes and heart focused on Jesus. : )
Blessings,
Carrie
keeping my eyes locked and fixed on the One who made me to dance…
Beautiful post.
Blessings to you this weekend.
peace~elaine
New reader, perusing old posts… “Then I think about this rationalization process with my teenage son. I don’t even want him to flirt with the idea of drugs or sex or driving way too fast. I don’t even want him to put one toe on this path of rationalization.” Lysa, I am torn between “Ahhhhh, Lysa! We can be friends!” I could have written almost every word you write…oh, wait…I already have…in my journals…for YEARS! And torn between wanting to tell you (like I’ve told God, shaking my fist), “You can’t change me even if you want to!!!” As I read through your posts, I realize that my eating “Behaviors” are similar to indulging in and being addicted to pornography. Just like sex, food and eating is a glorious gift from God, good and necessary, as long as it is enjoyed according to HIS design. And now I’m singing to the choir, right sister? I’m praying that space will open “in the loop”…God bless you this day!
WOW Lysa, So glad I found you and your blog!
Lysa, one of my most favorite stories you have ever told! Thank you for leaving me with a most powerful visual of what my Father desires of me.
And so very thankful the Lord answered the prayers of so many last week. Now He will receive all glory and honor and praise as His Words spoken from your mouth bless, encourage, and transform so many!!!
Blessings,
Wendy
I have believed so many lies about myself. This is so freeing! Christ’s love is unconditional and he is smiling. My focus is readjusted. Thanks,Lysa!!
There are a lot of people I see, that are going through the fire these days. They have come to a place of HALT. I have been there, I know that place.
In that day God spoke to me and said “Now in you, I live and breath and have My being” This was the day I said “Yes” to God. The breath of Eternity was breathed into me that day and, a ressurection did take place. Living Word will do that very thing.
The same way you saw the moth take flight, I see HOPE return when His precious people breath His Breath of Life.
Thank you for being obedient. Your testimony has blessed my heart.
Honey, I am happy this makes you happy. Jesus will not touch you because he cannot. He won’t smile at you because he cannot. He is pictured perfectly in your mind because that is where Jesus resides, in your mind. So you have emotional experiences, and your daughter is lucky to have such a wise mother who knows just how to support her. This is due to YOUR mothering prowess. Jesus is not real, but you are.
Oh Lysa – as I read this a huge lump was forming in my throat. We’re foster parents now, I don’t know if you know that, foster parents of 2 little brothers (3 and 1) and just today we added their 2 year old sister to our family. Satan has been bullying me with fears because I know my inadequacies but the Lord has been speaking His truth to my soul. And I know that I just need to remain in Him and keep my eyes focused on Him. I know that He will abundantly provide (as He has done countless times in the past). I know that He will fill me to overflowing when I keep my eyes on Him. Thank you for this post. I feel it was straight from the Lord to me! You are a blessing Lysa!
Wow, why does it awe me when Jesus takes me exactly to the place where I will hear exactly what my heart needed? I am choked up and just need to praise a Father who not only can teach me to dance but can help me continue on when I am failing and falling and want to give up? Today I wanted to stop and give up. I don’t want to fail in front of people, I want my walls back and I want to hide. But tomorrow I will get up and I will go where He leads. I will keep my eyes on Him, the one who has never failed me, and I will keep dancing just for Him. I can see his loving eyes as I write this and I thank you for sharing the words I needed to hear.
Oh my goodness – I should never had read this at my work – as I sit here fighting back the tears! My daughter just started her first year of college and she is not adjusting well at all. As a matter of fact, she wants to quit and come home but I have remained strong and consistent and told her she must complete the semester. I have done everything humanly possible to encourage her and walk through this difficult time with her with not much success. But, your writing above has blessed my heart beyone belief and I think I will share it with my daughter. As a side note… a song that is very near and dear to my daughter and I is “I Hope You Dance” by Martina McBride – how fitting!
This was exactly what i needed. Loved the story and the truth about God. this genuinely put some realization in view. thank you! Praise God for all the encouragement i receive.
You wrote this in Sept and I came upon it this morning in November. Lord I love you. I needed to hear this this morning. Every word spelt out for me. Just keeping your eyes on God, doesn’t make me perfect, but the fact that He is perfect, makes me perfect. I will still make mistakes and will fumble and fall. But the fact that He loves me inspite of my imperfections, even when I goof up. Thank you.
Wow, Lysa, your messages make me cry sometimes.
That was beautiful. I’m so blessed with your words, and all because you “say yes to God” and write these words.
Thank you!
You always seem to have the words to encourage me and lead me in the right direction. Thanks for all you do! God Bless
Beautifull, how true.
What an awesome analogy. Keeping your eyes on Him when your’re unsure or know your messing up is a good way to avoid doubts of who you are – only trusting in His truth.
I invited Jana jdsmom0307@aol.com to come aboard. You have wonderful encouragement for all women!
Thank you
Blessings, Deanna