The past two days I’ve been sharing the story of my boys. The timing of telling this story is quite intentional. Jackson started college this week.
Seven years ago this week, I was sitting at my kitchen table crying.
I’d just been handed the test results confirming at the tender ages of 13 and 14, my boys needed to be in kindergarten. Kindergarten. And no kindergarten class would take them- not any public school, not any private school.
As if that wasn’t scary enough, there was another reality with which I had to come to grips. My sons would age out of school and no longer be permitted to attend past the age of 21. I would only have 7 years to get Jackson schooled K-12. I would only have 8 years with Mark. That’s it.
Me. The woman who skipped pages when reading every bedtime story I’ve ever read. Me. The woman who only felt I could handle one child and then suddenly woke up one day to the reality she had 5. Me. The woman who is emotionally allergic to flashcards and who still uses her fingers to count.
So, there I sat in the midst of impossibility too tired to get a tissue. I swiped my sleeve across my nose and wondered how in heavens we’d ever climb this mountain before us.
I begged God to remove the mountain and let me wake up one day to discover my boys’ heads full of knowledge and ready to board the beautiful yellow bus that passed by our home day after day.
We serve a God who most certainly can move mountains.
But sometimes the greater revelations of God are discovered when He doesn’t move the mountain. Instead, He takes our hand and helps us climb up and over impossibilities one step at a time. And that’s the path God had for us.
I learned, to be a true woman of faith we must live lives that actually require a little bit of faith. I didn’t have the luxury any longer of saying I had faith but finding comfort in my little back up plan. We women are so clever with that.
Instead, every day I had no choice but to admit my absolute desperation for God.
I lifted up my tiny bit of willingness and revealed my great spiritual maturity as I prayed, “Lord, you have seriously gotten us into a mess.
I mean a real mess. And I sure hope you have some kind of secret knowledge about my abilities to teach. Their inability to grasp multiplication today is about to get on the last good nerve I have left. And we all know a mama with no good nerves left ain’t a pretty site. Amen.”
Those long days turned into years. The years turned into miracles. The miracles turned into a high school diploma and a chance to go to Union University in Tennessee.
As I helped Jackson move into his dorm this past weekend, I found myself taking mental snapshots of where his feet will tread this year. The patchy grass. The linoleum in the classroom halls. The cement stairs leading to his dorm room. The floor of his room which I’m sure will only be swept clean this one day. And I prayed.
“Lord, his precious feet have traveled so far to get to this place. Guide every step he takes on this campus. Help him to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you so obviously have on his life.”
I hugged him goodbye and walked to my car alone. I once again swiped the sleeve of my shirt across my nose and wondered… how in heavens could I miss those days at the kitchen table so very much.
Lisa, I can so relate to taking your boy to college. I did that weekend before last and felt the same things, even down to wondering how on earth I could miss certain things about homeschooling. It was beyond hard to leave him there and come back to his empty bedroom, but once again God is faithful.
Way to go, Jackson- and Mom- and God!
Lysa, thank you so much for your words here today. A few short 8 months ago. God called me to homeschool two of my girls. I have four children and the youngest two are twins. They are in our local neighborhood public school and loving every minute. Little did I know this mountain that you speak of would not be taken away but an infinately powerful God showing me the way up the mountain. How grateful I am for your words over the last 8 months and your book Am I messing up my kids, God used you to convey His will and love to me. Praise God!
Absolutely beautiful.
moving and encouraging… thanks for the wise words. There is nothing quite like reaching for God when the obstacles seem too big, too insurmountable, too scary, and knowing He is your first and last hope, and in fact your only hope! Amazing grace, amazing God who gives us the courage to take that journey one day at a time, the skills needed and enough information for the moment. But what results for you and your family…. putting your trust in God to follow his course however uncomfortable and hard …. and the journey continues for you all! I pray for Jackson’s success and blessings for your family as the next part of the adventure begins!
Lysa, a beautiful and wonderful story! What a blessing God has been and given to you and to us all in not always moving those mountains!
Wow, you are an inspiration to me. We have been blessed w/the opportunity of raising our grandson & he recently moved to a new school (5th grade) and the subjects are a lot different than say 40+ yrs. ago. So thank you for your prayer as this I will be saying as he walks at his “new” school. God Bless
Lysa, Thank you for sharing this post today. I am the adopted mom of two beautiful gifts from above, I share your heart. I also live 10 miles North of Union University in Tennessee. Jackson will truly be blessed there and it will be an awesome experience for him. Please keep my email and if Jackson ever needs anything, anyone or any help we would be glad to step in and bless him in any way we can. God Bless and I am so thankful for your encouraging words!
What a path God has led Jackson on these past seven years! When he wanted to play soccer and went inside instead to sing to the glory of the Lord. He has a lot of Mama’s praying for him and we look forward to hearing much more about his time at Union University! Thank you for this very moving post!
Lysa, I love you. Thank you!
Sue
Lysa, this story has moved me into tears..Thanks for sharing this beautiful story
Thanks so much for sharing this story. I love hearing it! We’re taking our oldest son, whom I also homeschooled and took one year to catch up on 2 along with dyslexia,to Impact 360 next week, so these last 3 days have been such a blessing to me. Your footsteps and Jacksons will be followed by us this week. Thanks for sharing your blessings with us and for letting your blessings become ours.
While I don’t have any college bound kids, I really enjoyed reading about Jackson’s transformation. My little boy is 10 months old and I am doing my best to cherish even the crabby days. It was just yesterday I was worried about starting solid food and now we are just weeks away from celebrating his 1st birthday.
I read and and I wept an wept and wept. And then I prayed and will continue to keep jackson and his mama and family in prayer! Gods blessings to you all!!!!!!!
Lysa My heart goes out to you but you can walk away with God’s peace in your heart knowing that all his promises are true. He will take care of Jackson and he will give you the strength to walk through this new phase of your life with grace and dignity and all in HIS strength. God be with you and blessing and prayers to you and your family……Love and prayers….Kathy
So beautiful. Thanks again for putting your thoughts into words and sharing them on your blog. I’m so blessed and encouraged by them again and again.
Love you!
Lysa,
Wrenn and I praise God with you and Art that Jackson is beginning Union. It is so exciting to see God’s plans coming to fruition. Being 3 years away from your weekend now, I can only imagine how you felt driving away. Why is it us Mamas think about that day years in advance? We look forward to hearing what this year holds in store for Jackson.
Love,
English
My daughter and I read your testimonials and find ourselves in similar spiritual circumstances, such as this story you presented so beautifully. We don’t have two boys who needed a miracle, but we have other lift situations that DO need miracles and we are sometimes hopelessly faced with the same challenge to take one step at a time, and no short cuts or instant fixes. Thanks for the story, it brings tears to the eyes!!!
Hey Lysa,
Thanks for sharing those stories about your sons. That’s so beautiful. I sponsor a 11 year old boy on compassion and I know it’s not exactly the same situation but I feel a love for him that I never thought possible. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. And also, I just watched the movie “Blindside” or whatever and was thinking the stories were similar.
I too left a child in a dorm this last weekend. The last of my three children, a girl and the highlight of my life for the last several years. So bitter-sweet. I know that I will always be her mom and that she loves me with all her heart… still, driving away.. was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Just one question, Lysa. Will your Jackson be playing soccer at Union or will he be in the choir? Praise God maybe this time he won’t have to choose and he can do both! Love you for so eloquently telling us the story of your family. Keep sharing and we’ll keep on growing closer to our God.
Dear Lysa
I was depressed today and your email just spoke to my heart. I am facing a impossible situation in my life. And your email really lifted me and I felt God speaking to me asking me not to worry but JUST TRUST HIM !! Yes, as you said we may face mountains, but our God is greater than anything, He does moves mountains or else He will be give us strength to overcome the mountain of our lives. Thank you Lysa once again and May God Bless you
Thank you so much for this today. As a homeschool mom of 3, ages 10,6, 4 and pregnant with #4, I have suddenly felt the impossibility of the task before me. But God, I have sought Him out so much more and somehow relish in the fact that I can’t do it without Him. Knowing that I don’t have all the answers but He does, is very comforting to me. I trust that one day I will look back on these years, just like you have, and see the miracles God has performed in my life and the lives of my children as I walk in obedience to His direction. Please pray for my willingness to follow even when it requires more from me than I think I can give. God Bless you and your family. It has been a true inspiration to hear your story as you walk by faith and not by sight. I’m sure it wasn’t easy but you encourage me.
Thank You ,Lysa!!!
I cried when I read this, Lysa. What a beautiful testimony of how powerful and big our God is! I’m certain He has big plans for Jackson, and I’m praying that God will lead him during these tender years of college. Thank you for sharing this today.
I had just dropped my 14 year old son (who has autism) off at his new high school and was fighting the tears when I read your post. Needless to say, the tears flowed. But I had just read that morning about Abraham’s obedience to God when he took Isaac up to be sacrificed. So God used His words and your post to give me strength for the day. When I picked Ben up from school, he was happy and had a good day. And later that day, he gave me a spontaneous hug, which happends very rarely! I considered it God’s gift to encourage me for the days ahead.
Lysa,
Thank you for sharing. My 15 year old daughter has been at the same small Christian school since she was 4 years old. This year she left the security of that school and friends she has known her entire life for a school four times as large where she knows no one. She is a sweet but very shy young lady. She has tried so hard to be brave and stand strong.
Last week, after her fourth day, I picked her up and she cried for the first time. After much prompting she finally admitted she had eaten lunch in the bathroom stall so as not to have to sit by herself. A girl in her chemistry class had been laughing and pointing at her and she did not want to endure the ridicule of eating alone. She took her lunch into the bathroom, went in a stall and waited out the lunch wave.
I dropped her off at home, drove down the street and cried my eyes out. I tried to figure out every way to get her out of that school and back to the security of what she knew. I spent the afternoon crying and trying to figure out how to fix this. Then out of nowhere, I remembered a Proverbs 31 daily devotional about the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel. I ran and got my bible. I read that story 10 times. God spoke to me right there, “you have to give her to Me.” It was that simple, I had to trust God with my sweet daughter instead of trying to fix things. I hit my knees and prayed to God, releasing my daughter to His care. I prayed that He would make her certain of His love for her. That he would let her know she was never alone and that He would introduce her to good Godly friends
The days since have been better. We take one day at a time. I continue to life her up to God, her Father. She is meeting nice girls and has not eaten her lunch in a bathroom stall since.
Lysa, you are absolutely correct about our back up plan to faith. As Mother’s, we try desperately to fix things for our children. God made it clear to me, I needed to completely trust in Him, once I did, He poured out the grace.
By the way, I send her scripture texts during the day too!! I keep expecting to get a call from the principal about the use of cell phones in shool!!
Thank you so much for you faithfulness in sharing God’s love in your life. For being so real. We need more real!
I am praying for Jackson (a special one that he will call his Mama too!)
Blessings.
What a Great and Awesome God we serve !
You should have prefaced that tissues were required to read this one
One minute I was laughing at your great sense of humor. I brought my own 4- year-old daughter into my lap and laughed and tickled, then finished reading when she got down. That next minute, I was in tears to read the ending. Emotions. My goodness.
funny that I would read this today. I have been praying for God to move the mountain that is my 6 (almost 7) year old son’s developmental delays. Now God has placed us in Rwanda for 9 months & my choices were private school or homeschool. He has been in private school for a few days & it is already becoming quite clear that they are unable to handle/help him with his current behavior. I was quite depressed about it & discouraged because I have invested so much prayer into asking God to move this mountain. So, you did homeschool your kids throughout their high school years & managed to do so in 7 or 8 years? I would love to hear the details of this story.
Just one word on your story. *Amazing”"
I cried also reading this and the other blogs, and wished my son was near. He is off in a war torn country of Afgan. The mom in wants to go and get him and bring him home, but, I know this is not possible. I feel for him, and what he is going through. But, I turned this over to God and him, and remind him to read his Bible. May God also bless you.
Lysa,
Thank you so much for allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and real, so that our hearts could see Jesus, and the wonder of heaven! I don’t get to read the posts everyday, but I am so blessed when I do!
Lysa, what an inspiring journey you have been on. I just love how the Lord works. Thank you for sharing this look back at the tapestry God has been weaving in your life. It is such a God glorifying, God honoring thing to see. Thank you for sharing it with us. It makes me want to raise my hands to the sky and praise Jesus!
peppermint foot lotion I used – he would try lick my feet at night, if I had socks on he would still go crazy for it. This was a cat who also LIKED the vaseline we gave for
Thank you for sharing your heart, and the heart of God, with us.
o they grow up so fast don’t they….but, he trust us enough with them to be blessed enough to be called their Mom…thanks so much for all you do:)
“Lord, his precious feet have traveled so far to get to this place. Guide every step he takes on this campus. Help him to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you so obviously have on his life.” Oh, my heart jumped when I read those words! I will be saying them to God myself one day when our little girl from Ethiopia goes off to College. Thank you so much for sharing these deeply personal and beautiful thoughts.
I’m experiencing this now with my son. He is in highschool and we have a meeting on Thursday Sept 16th. Please pray. I desperately need God for this because I work fulltime as well. It is very difficult and yes, math is one of his week points (and mine). He must pass highschool assessments in order to graduate and he decided not to go to college…
Lysa, my daughter is at Union. A friend just shared with me that you’re son was there also. As we have dealt with dyslexia for the past 12 years, so I know how hard you have worked to get to Union. I’m over at Union pretty often (live 3 1/2 hours away in Huntsville AL). If you ever need a ” momma” to check on your son I will be glad to. My prayer for your son and my daughter is that God will use their struggles to bring Glory to Him.