Thank you for taking time to submit your questions yesterday. As I read through them, Mary C’s question stirred my heart. She asked:
I hope this question isn’t too serious, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I’ve heard quite often that we can go to Jesus with our pain and suffering. I’ve heard that we can do this because he knows exactly how we feel because he suffered all that pain on the cross. Here’s my question about this idea, Jesus chose his pain. Jesus had the option to choose. But I didn’t get to choose. I didn’t want my baby to die, so how can I turn to Jesus thinking he’ll understand when the situations are completely different? Jesus gave his life whereas my child’s life was taken. How can I turn to him based on him knowing how this feels when it’s not the same?
First sweet friend, let me say there are no easy answers to your honest question. I have personally walked the deep valley of grief and I hated when people tried to comfort me with well meaning Christian cliche’s. My questions were so raw that their answers felt more like slaps than healing salves. So, today I’m not going to give you a well packaged answer but rather a few more thoughts with which I invite you to wrestle.
And I pray somehow through my simple tangled thoughts, Jesus’ most tender mercies wrap about you. For sometimes, it’s not the answers that give us peace but rather the assurance that Jesus is really there with us.
This is from a blog I wrote last year…
It’s hard when we know God is big enough and mighty enough to save someone but doesn’t.
I’ll be honest this is something I have had to personally wrestle with and while I don’t have all the answers, I have a soothing thought I’d like to share. But first let me let you peek inside my personal story.
I know the cavernous grief that can sweep over a person in the midst of tragedy. My baby sister died due to a set of circumstances that all started when a doctor gave her some medication no child should ever be given.
One thing led to another and eventually her liver failed. While Haley was fortunate enough to receive a liver transplant, complications after the surgery were too much for her tiny body. I’ll never forget getting the call from my mom telling me Haley was gone.
I’ll also never forget the pink roses covering Haley’s casket and the way my mom laid across them and wouldn’t let them move Haley for hours after the service. It’s was too much to watch my mom’s heart being ripped from her chest and lowered away with that casket.
Caskets should never have to be made child sized.
So there I stood on the hot September day. I should have been at school eating lunch, laughing with my friends, planning my outfit for the dance Friday night.
Instead, I stared at the grass poking around my black shoes, wearing a black dress, listening the guttural cries of my mom. Fully realizing life as I’d always known it was over. A line had been drawn that would sever our normal description of time. Things would be categorized as ‘before Haley died’ or ‘after Haley died.’
I hated that.
And I hated feeling guilty when I caught myself laughing at something 2 months after she died. But the worst thing of all was reliving the grief every morning when sleep would give way and the realization that Haley was gone hit me just as fresh and raw as the first day I was told.
Wounds such as these take a long time to heal. And during that time we will feel anger, betrayal, sorrow, and 100 other emotions we wish we could whisk away by reading a few good books and praying just the right prayers.
But I found there is no secret potion for grief. No easy answers to suddenly make all things better. And no pat answers when our soul cries out, “How could a good God let bad things happen?”
That’s when we have to make the choice to stand on what we do know in the midst of so much we don’t know.
I finally understand this now. It took me years of running from God, feeling angry with God, and sometimes doubting God even existed. I was so consumed with my question of ‘why’ that I lost sight of the answer God had already given.
Jesus. God suffered as he willingly allowed his Son to be taken, and beaten, and killed so that the brokenness of this world would be temporary.
Can you imagine the restraint it must have taken for God to watch and not step in? As a parent, I can’t imagine.
The restraint was His deep love for you and me and my sister and my mother and every other sufferer of grief. I’m convinced on the day Jesus hung on that cross, God saw us. God saw my mother draped across Haley’s casket and with the deepest guttural sobs said, “I will make this right sweetheart. I will make this right.”
God is loving. God is kind. God is merciful. God designed this world without tragedy and grief and cancer and death and mothers having to bury their children. God didn’t want us to know this kind of grief. But he did want us to have the free choice to love. And in that free choice, we brought sin into this world and broke God’s original design.
In the end, it is His suffering that provides something greater than answers. Hope. Pure and unrestrained hope. Death was not the end for my Haley. It is but an interruption of time.
And with that, I turn my face to the sunshine and with full confidence whisper, “I’ll meet you where the pink roses grow wild and free Haley. And we’ll laugh the thousand laughs we missed out on before.”
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If you would like to read more on this there is a chapter in my new book, ‘Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl’ called When God Hurts My Feelings. You can order a copy for yourself or for a friend by clicking here.
Mary C. I would love to send you a free copy of this book if you’ll send your address to Holly@Proverbs31.org.
Lysa
How powerful this message is–we just buried my brother and two days later found out that my mom’s cancer has returned–she is in stage four of breast cancer. We are all trying to keep her spirits and God alive, but I beleive we are failing. She also questions why? She can’t understand why God didn’t take her and leave my brother. So her doubts are falling fast about GOD–
I can’t wait to go over today and explain to her your message that you sent to me today. Tomorrow will be her last radition treatment and we can only pray for the best, even through they told us it more then likly it won’t cure her. But let’s pray that it does.
Thank you so much for all your kind words.
Blessings on your days
Pam
That is a good response to her question. I remember when I was unsaved and had a miscarriage and people tried to comfort me with lines like, “God wanted that child more than you.” or “This was God’s plan.” Trust me, the wedge those well-meaning comments made (and I know they were well-meaning) served to push me away from God. I am praying for Mary in her grief.
This post deeply moved my heart this morning. Thank you.
I have also lost a child, her name was Tiffany. She was 4 month old. We lost her to SIDS. I blamed everyone around me & the only way I dealt with sad to say was drinking. My ex-husband’s grandmother told me after the afterwards that an angle appeared to her & told God had choosenTiffany to come live with him. At the time this did not help, but now I take comfort in those words. My daughter would have been 31 in Feb. I am still at times in denial & still have hard time taking about her. But I do know she is in a better place & that I will get to see her again one day.
Oh, Lysa, your words here comfort and console and help and bless not only in the grieving of our temporary separations from Ones we love so much but for anything and everything else that is ‘torn’ from us. Amen and Amen. DADDY GOD is GOOD and KIND in ALL He does. Psalm 145:17 and 18.
Holy hugs, Kat…
My heart goes out to this woman and anyone else going through this right now. I can’t imagine it. I don’t think I would have any words for to offer in this situation. Your words are a comfort Lysa, because you speak what’s good and true. Much love and prayer.
To Pam. Have prayed for you and your Mom and shall each time the Holy Spirit brings you to mind again. Holy hugs, Kat…
Yes, powerful Lysa. So in the pain we learn to rest in Him as it is what He ask of us. I received Deut 33:12 at the cross a couple of years ago when I attended She Speaks. That verse has carried me and I frequesntly give it out to other when they are being challenged emotionally, physically or spiritually. I leave it here today…
“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long,and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders.”
Mary C, you are in my prayers today.
Believing Him~Pamela
Lysa, and Mary C, I am so sorry for your loss. May God continue to give you his peace.
“I’ll meet you where the pink roses grow…”
I say something similar to my baby sister, Tami, who also lives in Heaven. Something about daisies. She was 27 when she was fatally injured in an auto accident. Sometimes, there is no “why”. Some circumstances are just accidents.
Mary C. and Lysa, I am so sorry for both your losses. Peace to you both.
Lynne
Mary C & Lysa,
Thank you for sharing your stories. I have not lost a child, but I did lose my younger brother at age 10. I’ve seen my mother go through her life for the last 19 years asking these same questions. Lysa, your words are words I will share with her and take comfort in them myself. I have also found so much comfort and a desire to be close to the Lord with your book. Thank you for sharing your stories and guidance. He is truly working through you.
Mary C, I think the fact that you are asking these questions is a huge step. My mom has asked them for so long, they’ve become part of her life. Although I believe Jesus has worked to ease her pain, I think she doesn’t accept it very readily. I pray you find peace in Him and take his gifts of time and hope. I do believe time is a great gift in the healing process.
God bless you both. You’ll be in my prayers.
I have to admit that when I opened my email and saw the title of the post, I closed it immediately!! I couldn’t even go there this morning, it is like the one thing that grips my heart as a Mom.. I often pray to God to please never, ever let me bury my children and to see this this morning I thought, this is too deep.. As I began to read, it was a relief in a sense, a way to breathe and pray for Mary C. and Lysa who have suffered a death of a young person.. I have read it in a different light, basically it isn’t always about putting it in my life, but showing compassion for those who have..
God bless each of you today and always!!!
Lysa, Thank you for your story. I too have lost a child. I lost a son about 18 years ago. The only way I made it through (and still make it through) the tough days is knowing that my precious son is in heaven and I will see him one day with no pain and suffering and we will be together for eternity. Thank you Jesus for that opportunity. Days can be long and nights can be longer but prayer can get you through.
Whoa. I read the title of todays blog and just sat and stared for a minute. The pain of losing your baby is too much and there is no way to put it into words. I lost a baby boy at 21 weeks gestation, born already asleep. It was the most painful and heart wrenching thing that has ever happened to me. Just days before I had felt Jackson move for the first time. He would have been 6 years old on June 18. The pain never goes away and sometimes is still more than I can express. I lost a child, 12 months later my husband left because he wanted to forget, which all mothers know – you can’t. I turned away from God. I was sooooo angry. Then I met a wonderful man. In 2008 I gave birth to my miracle daughter. The one the doctor said wouldnt happen. She is the most wonderful thing in my life. God has blessed me so richly and I am so undeserving. I appreciate every new thing she does and revel in every day. Through loss I have learned to appreciate every day and know how blessed I am. No, caskets should never be child sized and no mommy should ever have to bury a child, but Jesus will help us if we’ll let him. 6 years ago I never would have thought that iwould be happy again but my Jesus, my baby girl, my husband, they all make my life shine with happiness.
Mary C. – like the ones who have posted before you I too have lost a child. It has been 12 years now and the deep pain is mostly gone; but the sense of loss is always there. My daughter was born with severe disabilities, so I always knew in the back of my head that she wouldn’t live a full life, but that didn’t really lessen the loss.
When she went to Heaven it was painfully difficult. I lived in a fog for a long period of time. People would try to comfort me by telling me that she was in a better place, that she was now healed. But quite frankly that wasn’t a comfort to me at all – in fact it actually made me mad. How could anyone, God included, think that my daughter was in a better place than she had been when she was in my arms??? I fought my anger at God, but all the while I struggled with this God loved me still and offered me comfort. I know now that He offered me comfort because He in fact understood fully how I felt. I remember the day vividly when I fully realized that God completely understood. It was Father’s Day 1998. One of the wonderful men in our church sang a Father’s Day song about being a father. Then he sang the lyrics from God’s perspective – “I’m a Father too.” In that moment I understood it all. Our Heavenly Father was also a parent, a parent that grieved as I had been grieving, because 2000 years ago He watched His Son die on a cross – die for my sins, but die so that I — and my daughter — could have life eternal. That day I gave my daughter back to God to care for her until I could join her in Heaven.
I still miss my daughter, but I am now comforted by the picture of her running, playing and laughing with the angels in Heaven. See my daughter never did that on earth; but she does that now —– with our Heavenly Father lovingly watching over her.
Mary, you will be in my prayers that God will comfort you.
Kathy
Sweet Sisters, I am right there with you. I have three babies in heaven. God has used their lives to change me in ways unimaginable and for that I am grateful. Through my losses, He birthed a ministry, Mommies with Hope, that I pray will be a blessing to each one of you.
A fellow grieving mommy who lives with the hope of Jesus,
Teske
Lysa,
Such gentleness and compassion in the words you have spoken in this post for today and I pray God will use them to comfort precious mothers who are grieving a loss. I, too, understand the questions as I experienced 3 miscarriages between my 1st and 2nd child. “Why me, God?” “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Through months of spilling out my heart to God and digging into his Word, He gave me comfort with his peace. A peace that passes all understanding. You are right ~ there is no secret potion. I believe the healing process is different for each one and is customized by God to lead you through that season. Praise God, I was able to pass through that hard and hurtful season and eventually was blessed with 2 more healthy baby boys. Those boys have brought back laughter and joy into this mama’s heart. I’m continuing to trust my God and his purposes for my life.
Sweet Blessings ~
Pam
I understand the feeling that caskets should never be child-sized. I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. My husband and I went through infertility for 4 1/2 years and were told we could not have children. We decided to adopt & 2 weeks before our initial adoption appointment we found out we were pregnant. We consistently pointed to the God of miracles as we told anyone who would listen that God gave us what the dr never said we would have.
My pregnancy was completely normal until my 38 week OB appt. The dr had trouble finding a heartbeat, and when she did it was very low. She sent me to Labor & Delivery. It only took 5 minutes to get there, but when we arrived there was no heartbeat. I had an emergency c-section, and the neonatologist and her team spent 20 minutes on my Mikayla girl before they got a heartbeat. After much testing we found that her liver and kidneys were in failure and she had no brain function because she had gone so long without oxygen. After 36 hours we made the painful decision to remove her from life support. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do is physically let go of my little girl; I wasn’t just letting go of her, but letting go of my dream of motherhood.
I’ve asked why….A LOT, among other questions. Why did he allow me to get pregnant only to take my beautiful girl? What was the purpose in Mikayla’s death? Where was God during all this? And I struggled with feeling like a failure as a Mom because my child died.
There are two reasons why I am here today: 1) My personal relationship with Jesus Christ and 2) My Christian counselor who has walked with me through the roller coaster of infertility, grief, and motherhood. I’d like to try to answer some of the questions I mentioned earlier:
Why did God allow this to happen? I don’t know. But I’ve come to accept that sometimes it’s better not to know why. It may sound weird but stick with me – if we knew the why we would most likely say that the price was too high, it wasn’t worth it. It may be that someone came to Jesus because of the testimony of Mikayla’s short life. Who am I to say that their eternal life is not worth it? Thankfully, God did not put that choice in my hands.
What was the purpose of her death? My counselor has helped me to refocus this question into what was the purpose of her life? More than semantics, this gives me reason to find out what can come of Mikayla’s life – how can I use the short time I had with her on this earth to impact others? How can I honor her memory? God has given me a heart for women who have experienced loss through IVF non-implantation, miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death. He has grown me in ways I never expected, especially in developing a Bible Study based on the book Grieving the Child I Never Knew as well as my experience in receiving Christian counseling.
Where was God? God was all over it! If my dr appt had been any earlier or any later that day, I would not have gotten 36 hours with Mikayla. A lot of moms don’t get this time. In the OR there was one nurse who all she did was hold my hand and rub my arm. All I remember about the Anesthesiologist was that he was a tall, skinny man with braces, but he wiped my tears as I lay on that table being prepped for surgery. Even then, I knew that God was using Him to minister to me. The neonatologist worked on Mikayla for 20 minutes; they usually stop at 15, but God prompted her to continue, and I am so thankful that He did. My Christian counselor was there when I woke up from anesthesia, and she fed me ice chips. A little thing, but so meaningful to me. God worked out her schedule such that she did not have any clients at that time. There were nurses who couldn’t leave their shift without saying goodbye, giving hugs, and crying with us. One even came to Mikayla’s funeral. Our fridge was full to overflowing from our small group the day after we got home. We had meals every other day for over a month. I could go on, but you get my point – God was in everything that happened. I often wonder how much worse it could have been had God’s hand been removed from the situation.
As far as feeling like a failure as a mom, God gave me a message at the reception following Mikayla’s funeral. People stood in line to give hugs and their condolences, but there was one woman who hugged me, cried and said those precious words, “You’re such a good mom.” God knows what we need when we need it; sometimes we have to open our eyes to see just how involved He is in every step of our lives.
I also firmly believe that there are facets to God’s character we only see through grief. While grief comes in many forms (loss of a parent, loss of a relationship, loss of a job, etc.), God has hand-picked me (and others who have lost children) to know Him in ways that others will never know. If I choose to allow Him to show Himself to me in this way, He will show me more than I could ever imagine. Is this road easy? Absolutely not, and I do not wish it on anyone. But it is possible for God to use it for His glory if I allow Him to.
Another thing that God has shown me is that the Bible is full of promises. When I was going through infertility God showed me Isaiah 54:1: “‘Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,’ says the Lord.” I remember after losing Mikayla saing, “Okay, God, where’s my promise now?” It took almost a year, but he gave me Isaiah 49:20, which starts “The children born during your bereavement….” God has promises in His Word for each one of us in whatever situation we are in; we need to ask Him to show us His promises and then be patient. In my experience, it was when I wasn’t looking for it that I found it.
My motherhood story does not end with Mikayla. (We had her in November of 2002.) We tried to get pregnant again, even tried IVF again and were unsuccessful. God led us to the Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption Program, and we had our son Matthew in October of 2006. We were trying to decide when to do the next frozen embryo transfer when God allowed us to get spontaneously pregnant and we had our son Andrew in October of 2008. (That’s the very abbreviated version.)
Sorry this is so long, but I felt led to share. I will pray for Mary C. as we continue on this journey of grief. Thanks for listening – God knew that I needed this today. =)
I haven’t lost a child but I have struggled with these thoughts because I have a son about to be deployed to Afghanistan. I struggle with the idea that he is put in harms way for so many undeserving and ungrateful people. Something that is completely out of my control. We mothers like to have control over the safety of our children. Then I think about another mother. A mother that wasn’t asked before going through the pain of seeing her son die cruelly for so many undeserving and ungrateful people. Then I remember the Father that sent him to die for me, an undeserving and too long ungrateful person. I know that I’m not good and deserve death but He did that so that we would have hope and not fear death. ……”In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Mary’s son was perfect. My son is just my son and I love him. While I’m not a Mary worshiper, I am a Mary sympathizer and am looking to her example. The LORD didn’t leave her alone and I know that He won’t leave me either. We know that death isn’t the end.
There is no love or peace like that which comes from Christ! Thank you to sisters who share their grief with other hurting mothers/sisters.
God, we long to be with you and those we’ve lost to death. Thank you that we have that assurance. Heaven is really our home! Amen.
I love your answer here, Lysa. It is the answer God gave me when, at age 14, I read the familiar words of John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that He gave . . .” He willingly GAVE His son so that I would not die. It is the harshest of answers to the harshest of questions.
What a great discussion today!
I have not suffered the loss of a child, but my heart aches deeply for the parents who have. Lysa, your words touched me as usual, but I want you to know that for me it was a special message. Yesterday, I learned that my father (a good, loving man), who has battled prostate cancer for 15 years, will not be able to take part in any more treatments. He was given the option to try another form of chemo (hard on the heart and minimal results) or to just stay comfortable as the cancer takes over. He is going with option B, with our blessing. I still have the hope that the Lord will heal my dad anyway, but your blog today has helped me come to terms with the other “option B”. Thank you for being real. Death is not easy for us who are left behind. Please pray for my dad to believe in Jesus so I can see him on the other side when this is all said and done.
Oh Mary how I long for great words of wisdom and comfort to share with you, but none come to me. My heart aches for you and your loss. Oh, sweet sister I so wish I could share something that would lift your grief and make you laugh, but I have nothing.
This is when my ‘fix-it, take charge’ personality wants to step in and make it all better, but I can’t. And I don’t think all better will ever happen, your loss is something that will never be ‘all better.’
I will lift you up before the Lord and ask for Him to make His presence know to you. Lord, give Mary a measure of peace today. Lord let her feel your presence right now, at this time. Lord, she needs You now, draw close and let Mary know the comfort that only comes in your presence.
Praying for you sweet sister.
Mary C……I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that God will hold you close to His heart and give you peace and comfort until you see your child again. This world is just temporary and we are not of this world if we are born again so we have hope from God’s own words that we will see those babies again in Heaven. Jesus is part of the Holy Trinity and since He said “I and my Father are one”, then Jesus truly knows what it is like to see your child suffer and die. Much love to you in Christ
Mary C. and others,
This one hit very close to home. I have wrestled with the same questions and have fought this fight. All I can say is that Lysa’s response is the same as what I finally came up with….. God loves us and we have to hold on to that no matter what happens! I also look and find the “good” that He brings from the pain. After my son died, there were obvious things that happened in my husband’s family that only God could have done… and it was through the death of my son that He was able to complete the good work that He started in those lives. My prayers are with you, Mary.
Lysa, what a beautiful message of the God who created us and who loves us more than anyone else ever could. I have no words of wisdom for Mary, but I love this scripture…..”Draw close to God and He will draw close to you” James 4:8
Thank you for a reminder to all of us that God is sovereign and even though we don’t understand now, someday it will all be clear.
The first time I remember experiencing gut wrenching grief was when I was sixteen and sitting in Spanish class after lunch on a very stormy spring afternoon. My Mama had been sick for a week or so and was being taken to a large hospital in a city 80 or so miles from our home that day. When I heard a knock on the schoolroom door and looked…as did all the students…I saw it was our family doctor and knew immediately something was wrong! Mama had died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I remember balling both hands into fists and clenching my teeth as our doctor/friend drove me to our home. He even commented that I should “let it go” and cry….but I couldn’t. That pain gnawed at me for years and years. I became the “woman of the house” and had cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc to do on top of being still in highschool. When other girls’s mothers were pampering them and buying clothes for them, I was just struggling to get everything done on my own. It was years down the road after I got married and then later got saved that I finally was able to face that tragedy and put it in God’s hands!
Thanks Lysa for all that you do !
Marilyn…in Mississippi
Tiny caskets do involve such gut wrenching issues of life. I’ll never forget the call from a friend who had taken her 6 week old to the doctor because his head seemed too large……6 1/2 months of fighting a brain tumor and the precious boy died…you feel like you can write a book. I walked through this with her closely as her husband was a farmer and so often could not travel to the city where little guy was hospitalized. In the end….God is God….holy and worthy of praise….we live in this fallen world and we don’t have to understand..although our flesh cries out for it. So we choose to deal with all the emotions and set our gaze on the throne….this life is short, He carries us in the palm of His hand when we don’t realize it….He gathers our tears…He is intimate with our hearts, our minds, our very essence. It sucks and yet He is still on the throne and able to do all that we can not imagine. 10 years later I still wonder then I turn my gaze to Him….it’s all that makes sense in this world.
Oh Lysa I found your words so comforting and I pray that Mary does too. Pain that deep is something only the Lord can give comfort for and your words to me were of the Lord. Blessings!
Wow. I feel so amazed and overwhelmed by your kindness and prayers. Lysa, when I posted that question I didn’t think you do a whole blog day on it! It seems like every time I start to sink into despair and feeling completely alone, God sends people to remind me of his goodness. I never thought about viewing the crucifixion from God’s point of view. She died on Father’s day, which to me seemed like such a cruel joke, but thinking about God as a dad who has felt this pain too does help, like I’m not alone. It’s hard not to cry when reading your reference to pink roses – they are my favorite flower- but I do believe that that image is a gift from God for me to hold on to. Part of me so wants to get healing and be close God and another part just doesn’t understand. Things like this show me that it might be possible to heal.
Kathy- “How could anyone, God included, think that my daughter was in a better place than she had been when she was in my arms?” – TOTALLY.
Thank you so much for prayers. I think they are the only things that have kept me breathing. I really like that verse from Deut 33, i think I’ll post it on the bathroom mirror tonight. God bless. <3 Mary
Oh Mary, I am so very sorry for your heartache and profound loss! Next month will be 2 years since my youngest son passed away, just a few months shy of his 4th birthday. I think it is wonderful that you are voicing your questions and feelings and hurt out loud. Tell God ALL about it. He wants to hear your heart, He wants you to cry to Him… Trust me, He can take it!
It is the sin of this world that has brought death and heartache. I am so thankful that God has brought us a way OUT of this despair. You are right, a child size casket is wrong. But we cannot let our life’s circumstances let us be bitter. It is our RESPONSE to our circumstances that will determine how it ultimately effects our life. For better or worse. We both have a sober reminder that this life is not all there is. It is but a vapor and death is the doorway to our REAL life, the one that really matters! It is often a daily choice to choose joy, to choose to trust God, to choose to serve Him and figure out what to DO with our circumstances until God calls us home. He alone knows the number of our days. It will not take Him by surprise.
Grief changes over time. For me, it has gotten less hard in some ways and a little more hard in other ways. I do take comfort in the thought that my son Christian lived every. single. day. that God had for Him! God is in control and will never forsake us. Look for Him every day, in the little things, in the big things. And know that He cares for you.
As the mother of both Lysa and Haley, thank you for reading this article. My heart is full of thankfulness that Haley is remembered and that her story is read by millions of people. I know that it touches many hearts and God has a plan for that too. Haley is with God and we will see her again. My sweet lLysa is here and doing wonderful things for women all over the world and God smiles on this. God is so proud of Lysa ,his good and faithful servant. Love Mom
Lysa, thank you for your encouraging words as I too have lost a child and also feel Mary’s pain. I recently a message about celebrating my son’s 12th birthday when my daughter never lived to see her 12th birthday and how bittersweet it was. Ultimately there are some things in life that we just have to walk through, no matter how painful it is, and just trust that God has great plans for all of us. I love you all for your honesty, for your true expressions about how you feel and your compassion for each other. May God continue to richly bless each of you!
I love to see and experience the encouragement of Christian sisters who although we have never met our kindred spirits have met on line.
Take care Mary C… I am still praying for you.
Lysa your open ness in sharing your loss was amazing. Isn’t it difficult when children see and observe deep intensity and have no way to ‘explain it to themselves?’ You saw and heard your moms pain and you internalized it somewhere in your little heart. I hope it has found a place of healing today.
Your blog is a blessing to many ,,, God Bless you.
Lysa, I stumbled upon your site by “accident” and suddenly realise that God was giving me the comfort I had been needing all week. Fifteen years ago my only child died in his mid-teens of muscular dystrophy. He was a wonderful kid, who loved the Lord and who I know is with Him now. However, this week all the pain of losing him (and the grandchildren I will never have around me) came flooding back as fresh and painful as before and I didn’t know how I was going to survive it. But God is faithful, even though I can be as thick as a plank about recognising His voice around me, and here He provided you and Mary C. and all the other ladies on the other side of the world to share their hearts with me. Thank you all. Lysa your words about ladies and ministry kinda jumped out at me too. Always been too much of a tomboy I guess
Anyhow, God bless and keep you. Thanks again.
Deb