Lysa TerKeurst _{Leading Women in the Adventure of Faith}

It is very early in the morning. Not many people are stirring yet.

Though my body begged me just to roll over and go back to sleep, my soul was stirring to get up and go sit with Jesus.

Though I can’t physically see Him, my heart feels His presence.

I decide to open up my Bible to the Psalms and use the verses I read as prayers to start my day. And the more I pray those verses out loud the less I hear all the nagging things of the world. A beautiful melody of truth starts to rise up and suddenly my worries fade in the light of God’s truth.

His perspective on things that are troubling me starts to overshadow my anxiety. Like shade on a hot summer’s day, I feel relief in His presence.

I know that He is preparing me for what I will need throughout this day. He is already standing in every minute of my day and He sees what I will face. So, He’s equipping me to be able to handle what is ahead of me with His gentle boldness, quiet strength, and loving grace.

In Psalm 81: 10, God instructs me, “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” He will give me what to say today. What to say in happy moments. What to say in aggravating moments. What to say in moments where I feel insecure and what to say when I feel completely confident. What to say in disappointing moments. What to say in response to questions.

He also reminds me that sometimes it is good to keep my mouth closed and say nothing at all.

All the words that rumble about in my brain and those that will proceed out of my mouth, Lord, you be the author of those.

Psalm 84:1 reminds me that God’s dwelling place is lovely. So, I ask God to dwell in me richly. I want Him to be what radiates about me. I want Him to be my pretty today.

Not my hair… or the lack thereof. Not my outfit. Not my efforts of adornment. But simply Him and His spirit dancing invisibly about me… shifting a wrong attitude, guarding my words, and whispering constant truths into my heart.

Psalm 86: 11 is what I ask the Lord to give me. “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart…”

Lord, may nothing separate me from You today. Teach me how to choose only Your way today so that each step will lead me closer to You. Help me walk by the truth today and not my feelings.

Help me to keep my heart pure and undivided. Protect me from my own careless thoughts, words and actions. And keep me from being distracted by MY wants, MY desires, MY thoughts on how things should be.

Help me to embrace what comes my way as an opportunity… rather than a personal inconvenience.

And finally, help me to rest in the truth of Psalm 86:13, “Great is your love toward me.”

You already see all the many ways I will surely fall short and mess up. But right now, I consciously tuck Your whisper of absolute love for me into the deepest part of my heart. I recognize your love for me is not based on my performance. You love me warts and all.

Have mercy, that’s amazing.

But what’s most amazing is that the God of the Universe, the Savior of the world, would desire a few minutes with me this morning. Lord, help me to forever remember what a gift it is to sit with You like this.

What is one thing you are asking for from the Lord today?  Leave a comment and I’ll join in praying this with you.  Tomorrow I’ll announce the winner of the book from yesterday’s post. 

Happy Wednesday~

Ten years ago I sat in a seminar listening to a very organized mom talking about how she parented her kids.

She was amazing.

A super-mom in my eyes.

I held up my feeble efforts with my three toddlers and determined I stunk as a mother. I thought that maybe if I went home and imitated her, I could enter into the world of super moms.

I mentally listed out what I discerned must be her secret to success and set about to be just like her.

But it didn’t take long to become absolutely miserable. I mentally beat myself up for not having what it obviously took to be a great mom. What was wrong with me?

I begged God to make me just like her- that really good Mom.

And then one day in Bible study I read the story of Mary, the teenage mother of Jesus. My heart beat fast as I realized she didn’t meet the standard of super mom I’d set for myself.

Somehow, just as she was, God chose her to be Jesus’ mother. And the only qualification that she seemed to have was her willingness.

I made the choice to try and let go of all those expectations I had for myself as a mom. I let go of the comparisons to other moms. I laid down the measuring stick of perfection. And I simply bowed my head and gave God my willingness.

Nothing more.

Slowly, I started to see my own unique qualities as a mom instead of always focusing on the places I felt I fell so short.

I may not be the most organized mom, but I’m a fun mom willing to drop my to do list in the name of spontaneity.

I may not do sit down devotions with my kids every morning, but I’m good at helping my kids see God working in situations all throughout our days.

I may not sew a lick, but I know where to find an alterationist that is the bomb.

I may not always keep my cool in the everyday aggravations of life, but throw something big at me and somehow I’ll be the most calm person in the room.

Sure, I have a lot of room for growth in my mothering. God and I work on things daily. But over the past ten years I’ve learned how to embrace who I am and the beauty of living fully as me.

And while I still fall short at times, I’ve finally learned that being fully me is so much better than an imitation version of someone else.

I have the exact qualities God knew my kids would need in a mother. So, each day I hold up my willingness and ask God to make me the best version of me I can be.

Have you ever struggled with this? Whether it’s in the arena of motherhood or your workplace or one of the many places we unfairly compare ourselves to others- realize your great qualities and be fully you.

As a special encouragement to you, I am giving away one copy of my book, ‘Am I Messing Up My Kids?‘ Just tell me why you or a friend of yours needs this book!

If I won the lottery today I would seriously offer to take whole mess of y’all on the Girlfriend Getaway Cruise with me.  I would.  And we would eat the yummiest food and laugh until Diet Coke snorted out of our nose.  Good times.

But I don’t play the lottery nor have I acquired a bundle of extra cash this weekend.

So, I can only take one lucky winner and her friend.  I posted the winner on Friday beside the cruise button but I want to make a bigger announcement today!  Sweet Valerie Post—- call your mama, you were randomly selected from all the many, many entries!  Of course if you aren’t taking your mama, you’d better not call her.  But you and your friend are CRUISING!!!

And if you happen to be one of Valerie’s friends, you might want to be extra sweet and start dropping hints about how much you love to go on Cruises.

Oh happy day.  And if you’ve signed up to be one of the nearly 100 cool chicks joining us on this year’s cruise, we’ll be emailing you soon about some special P31 get togethers exclusively for you.  I can’t wait.  Maybe we could even plan some sort of mad four square game.

Have y’all ever played four square?

It is seriously fun.  Holly’s family and my family have been getting together and letting the competitive sparks fly with this simple playground game.  We won’t talk about how I’ve pulled a muscle in both my arm and my back.  No, we won’t talk about that because that makes me sound old which I am not.  40 is the new 30 you know.

While it may not be good for my aging body to try and master the art of only letting the playground ball bounce once in my square before totally trying to slam it into one of my opponent’s squares, it is good for my family to play together.  I’ve heard it said that a family that prays together stays together.  I agree but I also think it’s important to play together as a family too.

We’ve been talking a lot on the blog lately about raw emotions and the crazy emotional situations that can happen with those we love the most.  I think processing these things is good and important.  But I also think getting the family outside and beating the tar out of a playground ball together can help help ease many an emotional situation.

What about you?

Do you have a favorite game you play with your family?

What are some other creative ways you’ve found to bond with your family?

And if any of you are masters of the four square game do tell me your version of some of the rules.  My people can flat make up some rules y’all!

Have mercy!  And happy Monday.

Welcome to the P31 “Encouragement for Today” devotion readers.  I’m glad to have you visiting today!  Just to catch you up a bit we’ve been talking a lot about raw emotions here lately.  You can read more about those by clicking on these links:

Raw Emotions

All Twisted Up

Untwisting

Today, I’d like for us to collectively create a journal of sorts by leaving comments below about things for which we are thankful.  I am convinced more than ever, being thankful changes everything.

One thing we must always remember is Satan’s name means, “one who casts something between two to cause a separation.”

Satan wants to separate us in every way.  He wants to separate us with conflict, hurt feelings, misunderstanding, and frustrations of all kinds.  He wants to separate us from our neighbors, our friends, our co-workers, our parents, our spouses, our kids.  He wants to separate us from God’s best.  He wants to separate us from God.

One of the best ways for Satan to start these separations is by luring us into a place of grumbling and complaining.  If he can get us to focus only on what is aggravating and negative in life, then little cracks of distance start forming in our relationships.  The grass starts looking greener everywhere else except where we are standing.

I can see this so clearly when I look back on the first five years of my marriage.  Somehow, I became so hyper focused on all that was wrong with my husband, I became blinded to all that was good.  I grumbled and complained and nagged and set out to change him.  And I almost destroyed my marriage in the process.  Satan had a field day as the separation between Art and I kept ever widening.

Then one day as I was in a fit of tears asking God to make things better, I felt challenged to start listing out things about Art for which I was thankful.  And slowly, it changed everything.  It was if the clouds of negativity lifted and I could once again see his good qualities.  There were so many good qualities, I was shocked how I’d gotten so blinded.

How sad I spent five years thinking the grass would be greener with someone else.  Not true.  The grass is always greener where you water and fertilize it.  And being thankful…. really intentionally listing out things for which we are thankful…. is a great way to start watering and fertilizing and changing everything.

So, what are you thankful for today?  I am inviting each person who reads this, to stop and pause and take time to list just a few things in the comments below.  For those of you reading this blog via email, hop over to www.LysaTerKeurst.com so you can comment as well.

And for each person that takes time to help create this thankful journal in my comments today, I’ll enter you to have a chance at winning my book “Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl.”

Happy Thursday sweet friends.

Yesterday we were talking about how our emotions can sometimes be like the ratcheted up tension of a twisty knob car.  When twisted up and let loose, Katy bar the door.  A saying which means trouble looms ahead. 

And just for the sake of oversharing in case this question should ever arise in your next game of Trivial Pursuit, there are two possible origins to “Katy bar the door.”  Some say it’s from a poem written in 1894 by a man with the last name of Riley.  Others say it is from a Scottish song written in the 1700′s that never mentions Katy at all-  only that there was a door needed to be barred.  Just a little Wednesday morning meaningless tidbit for those of you who love meaningless tidbits.

So.

Back to the twisty knob car.  It is possible to have the knob twisted and the car not run rampant in a most buzzerk fashion. 

You can hold the tension filled car up in the air and let the wheels spin away their energy in mid air.  The tension releases, the car calms down and no one gets run over in the process.

That’s what I’m in search of with my raw emotions.  I’m in search of ways to release that twisted up tension without jamming into and over others with my run away emotions.  For me, tension breaks are crucial.

Tension breaks are little blocks of time where I pull away and allow time for my logical brain to catch up to my run away heart.  Kind of like time out for the toddler, this is time out for grown ups.  I will sometimes literally say to myself, “Self, you are about to say and do some things you will seriously regret later.  Walk away.  Seriously, walk away.  Leave the tension sitting here.  Go find some logic and then come back and calmly fight this battle.”

Let me show you how this plays out.

Mornings used to be seriously rough around our house.  It used to be that I chased everyone around reminding them, “It’s time to go.  It’s time to go.  We’re going to be late.  We have 3 minutes to get out that door.  I mean it.  I mean it!  You have to get your little self to that car right now!  Now!  Now!”  And there I would go, the twisty knob hearted woman zipping and zapping and snapping and yelling and wearing myself out to an absolute frazzle. 

By the time I dropped the kids off at school, I was haunted by all those poems we moms are given through the years… if kids grow up with screaming, they’ll grow up and scream.  But if they grow up with grace, they’ll grow up graceful.

Ugggggh.  I bet the writer of that poem never had to get 5 kids ready for school morning after morning.  If she’s got grace to spare, she needs to come on over to my house and help a sister out for heaven’s sake.

But then one morning it occurred to me, the world wouldn’t stop spinning if I simply said what time I was leaving and then simply left.

So I tried it.

And it was the most empowering tension break I’d ever had.

Several kids missed the mommy bus.  But instead of screaming all the way to school I chuckled and felt so incredibly empowered.  Logic kicked in and I left the tension with the tension creators.  They would have to figure out whether to beg a ride from their sleeping Dad or bargain with the promise to do extra chores to have me come home and take them later.  And they’d have to deal with the school’s consequences for unexcused tardiness.

Meanwhile I remained calm.  Calm.  Calm.  Incredible.

What kinds of tension breaks work for you?  How can you translate this into a situation that is getting you all twisted up lately?  Inquiring minds want to know….

I once had a toy car that had a twist knob on it’s bumper.  With each twist the tension inside the car ratcheted higher and higher so by the time I released it on the floor, the car went buzzerk.  It shot across the floor with no regard to anything in its path.  It jammed into things only to reverse its direction and ram into something else.  Nothing stood a chance in its wake until the tension knob inside untwisted completely and the car slowed to a halt.

Sometimes I feel like I have that same kind of twist knob inside my heart.  I let things build inside until I’ve been twisted one to many times and then wham!  Off I go in an emotional fit with no regard to anything in my path. 

You won’t see this in me because I’m good at managing this with the world at large.  And even if you do some things that twist my knob three or four times, I’ll probably just have a simple conversation with you where things can get cleared up.  And if they don’t clear up, then I’ll reason we’re too different to be in close community and I’ll just quietly distance myself from you while the churning emotions subside.

All of this is totally hypothetical because you know of course this would never happen to you and me.

But it does happen with those I live with on a daily basis.

Take my amazingly handsome, chicken flipping, pick up truck driving, patient beyond measure husband.  We try to have a date night every Sunday.  This worked without a hitch until I started doing a special diet plan over a year ago that required me to be done eating each night by 7pm.  This meant we’d have to start our date each Sunday a little earlier than normal to accommodate my new eating schedule.

But things kept interrupting that plan. 

Art’s workout on Sunday afternoon would run a little long- twist. 

Someone needed to be driven to a last minute youth group event- twist. 

Art had something he had to do for church and he was running late- twist. 

The playoffs were on and they went into overtime- twist. 

These things kept twisting every Sunday until one afternoon all that tension let loose in a fit of frustration and disappointment.  “You always make us late!  Date nights aren’t important to you anymore!  Why don’t you treasure our time together anymore?!  I’m starting to wonder if you still love me!  ”

Lovely.

I can’t think of a more endearing conversation to have right before a date.  Sigh.

And because Art hadn’t been aware of my mounting frustration, my run away response seemed to come completely out of left field.  One minute he’s watching the game in overtime about to take his wife on a date and the next his wife is zipping around the room accusing him of not loving her anymore.  Hunh???

It seems so silly to me now.  But at the time, my ratcheted up feelings had truly hushed any and every logical thought.  Suddenly, I’d reached a tipping point where it was no longer just about running late for our date, it was a marriage defining moment of epic proportions.

Do you ever struggle with this? What causes your tension knob to twist, twist, twist?  Have you found any simple, practical strategies for releasing the tension of the twisty knob before it sends our emotions ramming and jamming into those closest to us?

I have a few thoughts about this I’ll share tomorrow but I sure would love to hear what you have to say first.