Several months ago Ashley was flitting around the house singing everything “Annie.” Our home was filled with songs, dances, scripts and the proud announcement she was trying out for the school musical.
The day the cast list was posted the singing and dancing and rehearsing of the lines stopped.
She hadn’t gotten a part in the play.
There was a smile and a quick, “Who cares,” that hid a thousand tears daring to flood the scene if she said much more.
But a few days later, the director did request that Ashley and one of her parents attend the all cast meeting where Ashley was told she’d been given the job of student director. That sounded exciting until the director explained that job basically meant Ashley would be a behind the scenes errand runner for her and the cast.
There would be no shining moment.
There would be no spot light
There would be no audience applause for her performance.
Just hours and hours of behind the scenes work.
As a parent, I could see the character building potential. I have done my fair share of behind the scenes stuff in life and it helped shape me for the better. I get that. But to a middle school heart who loves to sing and dance, it was hard.
We went home that night and Ashley toyed with the idea of dropping out. And I let her toy with this idea. But by the next morning, Ashley surprised me by deciding she would embrace this role of serving.
And embrace it she has! It turns out Ashley has quite the knack for choreography, set design and a keen sense of how to make scenes flow more smoothly. The director quickly found Ashley to be quite capable and turned over many responsibilities to this little sprite of a girl.
What once seemed like a huge disappointment became a gift of revelation. Ashley was born to be a leader. Put her in the right environment to lead and she’ll thrive.
I asked Ashley the other day what she thought of this whole experience. She beamed and said, “I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else than the role I’ve been given Mom. I love being the student director. I love it so much.”
Later this month, the curtain will fall to the thunderous applause of proud parents cheering for their child’s performance. And though I won’t see my little brown eyed beauty, I know she’ll be bossing somebody backstage and I’ll be clapping like crazy while letting out a few hoots that will embarrass the fool out of my other kids.
And when the mama sitting next to me leans over and says which one is yours? I’ll reply back, “the one who is right where she should be.”
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,” (Colossians 3:23).
What disappointment are you processing today? How might this be a gift in the making? What assignment might God have right in front of you that He wants you to fully embrace today?
Monday, April 5
wow…great reading…wonderful way to start the day, with very insightful thoughts…
blessings:)
love to read your blog everyday!! thank you for posting!
I don't really know how to put my comment to words. Your post was simply beautiful – a wonderful lesson with a wonderful ending. "The gift of dissapointment." – what a reminder that God really does know what he's doing! :0)
At the risk of sounding sappy, I have to admit that I often prefer the "behind the scenes" serving where only God sees my heart and my joy in obeying and serving Him. Those treasured moments where He smiles and winks at me to tell me He is pleased.
Praying for Ashley and her special role as "student director". Ashley, your behind-the-scenes work will make the stage and actors shine! God is smiling and winking at you. He is pleased.
Hushed and humbled,
Sharon
Beautiful and thought provoking as always. Thank you Lysa!
Once again, your blog was what I needed to hear! Last week, my 15 year old daughter tried out for the varsity dance team at her high school. She did not make the team. She will be on the JV team next year like she is this year. She is actually dealing with the loss better than I am. I know that God knows best; but it was something my daughter really wanted. I look forward to the new school year in August to see how HE will use this for good.
This morning, God was reminding me of who I am. In His Word He calls me by so many TENDER names…His friend, His daughter, His BRIDE! These are names of those whom you love. Those you would do ANYTHING for.
He is always acting towards me with love. He acted towards Ashley with love, knowing what HE had placed in her to begin with and what would truly be the best for her. We can trust Him. We can trust His love.
So proud of your girl! How much she would have missed out on if she had not trusted Him. I don't want to miss out on all that He has for me, either!
A heart learning to trust,
K
What a great, encouraging story to start out the week with. Thank you Lysa!
such a great positive story I really enjoyed reading…
Thank you for your encouragement today… It reiterates; His ways are higher…Our Lord is faithful… He equips us for every good work… I thank God for equipping you to make more disciples for the Kingdom through your family… God Bless you!
Jennifer Pettiford
That's a great revelation for Ashley. As for me… everyday has little gems of disappointment and revelation. Nothing significant at the moment.
Oh, Lysa, this is big! This is important — this is ministry. Our God is up to something! I am so blessed at this reading! Time will tell.
So looking forward to the weekend in Pensacola.
Holy Hugs, Kathie
Oh, how I so can relate to your blog… Several years ago I perceived God dealt me one of biggest blows of disappointment by allowing my husband's job to relocate our family from Charlotte, North Carolina to Charleston, South Carolina. We had been in Nort Carolina for 18 wonderful years and loved it dearly and never dreamed the Lord would move us. North Carolina was where our heart was, where we got married and raisied our two beautiful girls. As we sought the Lord, He made it virtually impossible for us to stay. He sold our house in the middle of a recession, and provided for all our needs every step of the way. I, however, struggled very deeply with why the Lord was prying us away from our family, our friends, our church, and my comfort zone. Three weeks after we moved, we received word my husband Dan was slated to deploy to Afghanistan for 5 months. Another big disappointment. But God….In His magnificent grace, He knew what He was doing. What seemed to be the worse time of our lives, has truly turned out to be one of the biggest blessings we could ever receive. We just did not realize it at the time. After months of grieving the loss of our former lives, we continued to trust and walk, and seek. I thank you for reflecting on the gift of disappointment. Our gift has surely contained far greater treasure than I would have ever experienced.
needed this. There are a gazillion reasons why and i think i might have to link back to you and this post and blog about it. This is wonderful Lysa.
Thank you!
I recently had to let go of a very significant friendship. I was getting ready to go through a difficult healing process and had expected her to be at my side. It was devastating when the friendship fell apart and I didn't understand why God would take away my support.
And now, a few months later? I still miss that friend and wish she were a part of my life… AND I am grateful that losing her forced me to stand on my own and let God be my support.
Yes, we need people, but I needed to find my own strength in Him rather than relying on someone else. This is a lesson I could only learn by letting go.
~Bethany
Hi Lysa,
I have a sign in my office that says WORK HARD – Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you! I've worked for the same company for 26 years and have relied often an that sign. Godd luck to Ashley, and my sister and i are coming to see you in Chatttanooga on the 16th! I can hardly wait!!
Still trying to process not being asked to be on the praise team at church. I used to be on it, it dissolved, and now it was started back and I wasn't asked. I still feel very called to be a part so I'm not sure what God is trying to teach me. I keep praying that if He is not going to allow me to be on the praise team to please take the desire from my heart.
What a thought-provoking title! Honestly, I don't usually think of disappointment as a gift. My current disappointments include not winning last week's scholarship to She Speaks, too many rejection notices, and no current paying job.
I love this post. How wonderful that Ashley accepted the challenge and thrived in it. I tend to be one who enjoys the spotlight and needs the affirmation of others. How wonderful to be satisfied in your own ability and not need the spot light. Great job!
A beautiful post, beautiful story. He is truly developing her character into something that will be used mightily by Him for Him. Disappointment can truly be a gift, thanks for showing us how that is true.
I resonated all too well with this post. Being a 27 year old, Christian actress in Houston at a Christian theater, I've had my own share of 'disappointments.' My heart goes out to sweet Ashley.
There have been MANY, let me emphasize MANY, times in my career that I didn't get a role I wanted, but in God's perfect plan, He always knows how to place me in the exact spot that I'm needed to best grow in Him, not in myself or my talent, but in Him.
Congrats, Ashley, on your hard work. It will pay off, because now the teacher/director knows how reliable you are and will most likely consider your hard work when casting the next show.
My recent disappointments have occurred at work. The Lord has spent the past year or so breaking me of everything I thought I deserved there: information, special treatment, certain perks, decision making, inclusion, etc. The breaking led my husband and I to follow His lead in resigning from my position – one that I've held for the past 12 years. As I have given what some would feel as an absurd amount of 'notice' (5 months), I am once again starting to have some of the feelings listed above. I am just needing to pray through it and remember that the Lord has a wonderful plan for our family and continue to look forward to June 1!
Thank you for your post today – I need to reprocess and digest this lesson.
Lysa:
As always an inspirational message. You daughter is amazing. I am thinking as I read on the internet about the mystery man who saved the little girl in New York who fell off the pier over the weekend. He jumped in and saved her and then left before anyone could acknowledge him. What amazing humility. I can only pray for such as well. Your daughter is a shining example to all of us of Christ's service.
Blessings,
Candy
Lysa:
As always an inspirational message. You daughter is amazing. I am thinking as I read on the internet about the mystery man who saved the little girl in New York who fell off the pier over the weekend. He jumped in and saved her and then left before anyone could acknowledge him. What amazing humility. I can only pray for such as well. Your daughter is a shining example to all of us of Christ's service.
Blessings,
Candy
I'm struggling today with the disappointment of my family and I being left out, once again, on a holiday. We have shared our home and holidays with many friends over the past several years (we live a long way from family and know many others who do as well) and each time we don't extend the invitation to others we are not invited anywhere for the holidays. Yes, I'm head deep in self pity today but it hurts when your left out over and over.
Trying to seek Jesus and feel His love and strength through this disappointment. Yes, I know that it isn't about me. But it still is disappointment and it still hurts!
Amen, and amen. Thanks to you and Ashley for sharing this today!
Mine is the job that I have. I am struggling to find the purpose God has for me here. I am a Leasing Consultant and feel so ugh about this job. It has me finding all of the negative things and none of the good today. I really needed the Scripture today Lysa! Thank you!
Love,
Diema
rLrdnw426@yahoo.com
Hi Lysa. We must have been thinking in the same wavelength this morning. I wrote about my train of thought in my blog this morning. I hope you'll have time to pop by. http://katmastakins.blogspot.com/2010/04/winning.html
I just love you to pieces!
Kat
Lysa,
What a wonderful inspirational entry to start our Monday. Blessings on Ashley…thank you for sharing!
Lysa,
What a beautiful story and reminder that God always has our best interests at heart!
We may not always see what He has in store because we have our heart set on our own agenda; however, God is ALWAYS working behind the scenes to ensure we are right where He wants us to be!
http://shellysc.blogspot.com/
Ashley is an amazing young woman. I can just imagine how God is going to use her in the future.
Hi Lysa~ What a great way to view those "disappointments" God allows to come into our lives. And what a wonderful lesson your sweet daughter is experiencing.
I've seen your name around the blogosphere, but this is my first visit to your blog. I'm already blessed, and look forward to reading more.
May the Lord bless you and keep you…
Jennifer Walker
Lysa –
This post takes me back to chapter 7 in your Becoming More book where you shared your major fit in Sears because your daddy was taking you shopping with the charge card as opposed to cash. THAT story I could relate to today because my daughter and I BOTH had a meltdown. We so desperately want to talk and share…after four boys I was finally blessed with the girl I always wanted and she wants to communicate with the "mom" everyone gravitates toward. She's 12, still loves and adores her mama, and I DO NOT WANT TO BLOW IT!!! So I keep claiming Deuteronomy 30:19 and praising Him for her beauty, good manners, love, health, and kindness that He instilled in her! The disappointment I'm processing is my own…SHE is a BLESSING!!!!
Oh Lysa!
Your blog is a difficult pill for me swallow today. I've been coping with disappointment for several years now as my husband and I try for a baby.
At first, I dealt with sickness and doctors. Then I dealt with bitterness and despair. Next it was rejection as family and friends began to chip in their 2 cents as to why we hadn't gotten pregnant. Very few people are willing to listen and be there for us. It's much easier to pass judgment. Only true friends share the sorrows as well as the joys in life.
Thankfully the Lord has been with me through it all and has shown me (slowly) that bitterness separates me from him. It's not the person I want to be.
It still hurts! I still get disappointed, but I'm trusting in God for everything! Nothing is impossible for God! Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire realized is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
Faithful to trust God, work hard, and wait on Him – that's what Ashley did. I love that she accepted the "no glory" role and then found God's pleasure in the midst.
To Heather in Dublin –
I don't know if you'll get this comment, but I just felt prompted to respond. While I don't know the pain of waiting for a child, I know the pain of losing children through miscarriage and newborn death. I run a ministry (Mommies with Hope) that supports women through such experiences, including infertility. I wrote a post on our blog about this several months back and pray you will be encouraged by it. The link is here…
http://mommieswithhope.blogspot.com/2009/07/waiting.html
Praying for you as you rest in the "wait".
Many Blessings,
Teske
Well I guess I had better be honest! I read this yesterday and had a tiny freak out moment. I have been waiting for Christ for the Nations to call me to let me know if I had been accepted or needed to wait a little longer. I read this and began to wonder if I was being set up. God and I had a good chat for a few minutes and I calmed down because I knew that just because I read about disappointment doesn't not mean it is headed my way.
Turns out it wasn't at all. I got my call today after work, and I have been accepted! Praise the Lord. He is faithful!
Hi Lysa. I'm a little behind on my blog reading, but that's okay because God knew I needed to read this today. Not yesterday, not Monday when you posted it, but TODAY, because today I am dealing with the disappointment of God telling me "not yet" to something I really wanted. It's not even that I think He is saying "no," merely "not yet." Still, I am feeling it keenly, and I needed to read this today to remind me that all His plans are good and He knows best. Thanks, Lysa!
Love and Blessings,
Dawn
Tears in my eyes. At almost 40, I have yet to embrace this. Wow.