Lysa TerKeurst | 2009 April

Thursday, April 30

When life falls apart…

If you are visiting here from the Proverbs 31 devotion today, welcome. I’m glad you’re here. If you’d like the list of verses about God’s provision, please e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org and she’ll e-mail them to you. If you’d like to see the story of my family, click here. But first, I hope you’ll read this…

I have a friend whose life used to be like a treasured love letter. Each day she’d open up the well creased paper and live out the gentle familiarity with great joy.

Her life read of love, purpose, tradition, stability, respect, and faith. Day by day, layer upon layer her legacy decorated the edges of her love letter with strokes of consistent beauty.

Then one shocking day, she awoke to find that someone she trusted very much had knowingly and willfully torn her love letter in half. Shocked and hurt she asked this someone to tape it back together.

Though the letter would never quite look the same, eventually a heart of forgiveness and eyes of grace allowed her to see the letter as lovely once more.

Her little letter had been through a lot, but, strangely enough, didn’t seem as fragile as it had years before. The paper felt more stable then it had ever felt. And she found that good could even come from the rips and tears of life.

Healing days turned into healing years and soon the paper’s scar faded so much you could hardly tell it had been torn.

There was joy. But then sorrow returned.

One morning she awoke to find her letter missing. Frantic and desperate she threw open her front door gasping for air. And there, to her great horror, she saw bits and pieces of her letter swirling and being carried away in the wind. Her letter, her life, everything precious and seemingly protected, was never to be the same again.

This time it wasn’t just tattered and torn. It was shredded beyond repair.

She collapsed in a heap of tears. Grief like she’d never known overtook her. She went to bed and thought she’d stay there forever.

The days were suddenly dark. The nights were way too long. The hours seemed to creep along in torturous spans. Each minute so painful she wondered how much longer her heart could continue its beat by beat rhythm.

Then one day she willed herself out of bed. Maybe it was the longing for her letter of old. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe it was the purest form of raw hope. She walked outside among the pieces and parts of her life’s letter.

Ragged edges on each torn piece spoke loudly of the state of the circumstances she couldn’t escape. But looking closely, she discovered something wondrous. Though the torn apart letter couldn’t be read in sentences and paragraphs, the individual words were still clear.

Piece by piece she picked up the fragments of paper and read them one word at a time. So many of the words were glorious. Absolutely glorious. Her life was still there.

And though the letter would never be read exactly the same as it had, for the first time in a long while she saw beauty. Gathering the pieces together, she starting lining them up in rows. Old words- new sentences.

The letter of her life took on a new meaning. All the truth that seemed to be shredded with the old letter, was still there.

Truth still meant truthful. Full of truth.

Grace still meant graceful. Full of grace.

Joy still meant joyful. Full of joy.

And beauty still meant beautiful. Full of beauty.

Which is exactly what God kept whispering to her but she couldn’t seem to understand how anything so broken could ever be made whole again.

Sometimes whole doesn’t mean put back together the exact right way. For if someone discovers fullness within each broken piece, each part takes on a wholeness of its own.

So, for the first time in a long while she smiled. And while she never thought she could be happy with a letter read in pieces one word at a time, she found the fullness in each word and rediscovered her life.

She closed every door to her old life, picked up her pieces, and in complete fullness walked on.
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Hey, sweet sisters. Thanks for hanging with me through some tough topics this week. I pray that something shared here on the blog has been a blessing to your heart and healing to a hurting place in your soul.

I wanted to let those of you who live in the Charlotte, NC area know of a wonderful conference my husband is hosting at our home church next Friday, May 8th. It’s the Maximum Impact Simulcast. You can read more about it here.

I’ll be there. Art will be there. Chick-fil-A will be served for lunch. And we’d love to meet you!

If you’re interested in attending, tickets can be purchased by calling Adrianne at 678-464-9599.

Daddy is near

Welcome to the Encouragement for Today Devotion readers. Today, I want to share just two verses that can be a great comfort to us when we need to be reminded of God’s provision.

In the corner of my bedroom, behind an overstuffed chair, there is a stack of blankets. Soft blankets. Welcoming, warm, and well used blankets. Blankets that speak of safety, security, and sweet surroundings.

The other night, my youngest daughter had a bad dream and sleepily made her way to my bedside. “Mommy, I’m scared.”

That’s why I have that stack of blankets.

A soft stack of evidence that everything is going to be okay. Not because the blankets themselves are safe; it’s where the blankets are placed that comforts Brooke’s heart.

They’re near her Daddy.

Though Art sleeps like a rock normally, something stirred his heart awake as soon as I’d gotten Brooke settled into the make shift bed of blankets. He got up and went to snuggle his frightened little girl.

Daddy is here. Daddy is near.

And Brooke’s heart was comforted.

Not because Daddy went upstairs and checked under the bed, behind the door, and in the closet. Not because Daddy chased away the object of her fears. Not because he did anything about the source of her fear.

She was comforted simply by her Daddy being near.

This reminds me some verses in Philippians that I love.

Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I like that verse but without quoting it in context, it’s stripped of it’s power. The last 4 words of Philippians 4:5 are the power source that unlocks the peace of God that transcends all understanding.

Those four words are, “The Lord is near.”

Daddy is near.

And because He’s near, we don’t have to be anxious- we can have peace that rises above any circumstance. Any circumstance.

Daddy is here. Daddy is near.

Don’t get paralyzed by pornography

Sweet Sisters-

I know this is a heavy subject but as you can see from the heart ache woven throughout the comments yesterday, it is, unfortunately, necessary.

A big thank you to Clay Crosse. Clay, I so appreciate you sharing your heart, insights and advice today. What a gift to us to have a man so openly answering our questions. Thank you!

One thing I feel I must share sisters is don’t get paralyzed by this issue. Yes, pornography is big but we serve a much bigger God who is ABLE to help anyone rise above this pit. Keep praying sisters! Keep praying.

Ask God to make you wiser than you’ve ever been. Ask Him to show you any open doors of help you are supposed to walk through. (A great first door might be to order Clay or Renee’s books by clicking here.) And ask God daily to help you see that Satan is the enemy here- not your husband.

Don’t be a woman of accusation, be a woman of prayer who is not afraid to do battle on behalf of her husband- her sons- and herself in the spiritual realm. It’s time to fight sisters! Fight for those you love so dearly.

And fight against the bitterness and hopelessness than can so easily go hand in hand with this messy issue.

I love you sisters. That’s why I think these posts are crucial to address. And please know I am praying for each of you.

Now, here’s Clay’s wife, Renee~

“We Need to Talk…”

What is it about the sound of those words? When I hear them, I automatically hear ominous music playing in my head. The words are usually followed up with bad news. Or at least, that’s my personal experience.

Such was my experience with them in the summer of 1998. Clay turned to me as we sat in church and asked me to get a babysitter for our girls, because “We need to talk.” See what I mean?

Clay and I spent that afternoon in the family room of our home. It was that day that Clay confessed to me his struggle with pornography. To say that I was shocked is an understatement.

I knew that God was dealing with Clay about something, but I never expected it to be, pornography. I was so confused and angry. But just as quickly as the anger arose, another emotion came into my heart and mind. I blamed myself.

If he were satisfied, why would he need that material? Satan was seeking to destroy! He was going after my husband with this secret sin, and he was going after me, filling my head with doubt, anger, blame, and fear.

Clay told me that he had rededicated his life to Christ and wanted to come clean about this sin and he was asking me to forgive him. What I have come to realize in the years that followed this moment, is that the porn was just a symptom, not the problem.

The problem was a Christian man not fully committed to the Lord. Clay began to draw closer to God through his rededication, and I saw the impact that had on his
life.

I forgave Clay when he asked but it took years to heal and rebuild trust. Clay started meeting with an accountability partner and studying his Bible like never before. I saw growth in my husband’s life.

Through this season of our life, God allowed us to write a book sharing our testimony. “I Surrender All- Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography”.

I have to admit, it would be a lot more fun being the poster children for “Got Milk” but God had a different poster that he wanted us to stand in front of.

Psalm 34:5 states, “Those who look to the Lord are radiant, their faces are not covered in shame.” While there is shame in the sin, the victory comes when you release this to Jesus.

God has also allowed me to write a Bible Study for women. “Reclaiming
Stolen Intimacy-When Your Marriage is Invaded by Pornography.” It’s designed to be completed in a small group setting but individuals can also complete the study on their own.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers to this problem. And, it is surreal to see that God has opened up the doors for us to develop a ministry, holyhomes.org.

Through this ministry, Clay and I speak to Christian homes about the importance of being set-apart and holy. So much of our teaching and conferences have very little to do with pornography, but we always tell our testimony.

Why? Because we hear from hundreds of families who are being torn apart by this sin. We must continue to tell of the victory we have experienced and what God has done in our marriage.

He stands ready to do the same for you.

Renee Crosse, is the wife of Christian Recording Artist, Clay Crosse. They have 4 children and reside in Arlington, TN. She is a speaker and author and co-founder of HolyHomes Ministries.

Thank you, Renee, for sharing your hurt, your hope, and your healing journey. Just like yesterday, feel free to ask Renee questions today in the comments. And of course, you may post your comment as anonymous.