How My Highlights Saved My Life

So, hello.

I promise we really are going to have a special guest coming our way soon to talk about Apologetics in an everyday person way. I talked with him this week and I would have been able to get it together to post today but then I went and got my hair highlighted.

Now my brain can’t produce a deep thought to save my life. All thoughts are of the surface variety.

My girls think my highlighted hair is the best thing I’ve ever done. I believe one of them said I look like a teenager. Seeing as someone at a recent speaking event guessed my age somewhere between 45 and 50, being called a teenager is like a healing balm to my shallow ego.

My son Mark said, “Oh you did something to your hair. It looks good.” I explained that I had gotten some highlights put in it and I was still trying to decide if I liked it or not. I told him sometimes I’ll walk past a mirror and think, “cute.” But then five minutes later I’ll find myself staring in the mirror thinking, “oh, dear.”

He was then quick to add that he really didn’t like it at all but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Coming from a boy wearing jeans with red and white paint designs down the side of one leg, I highly regard his fashion and hair advice.

I think the thing that is tripping me up is that I’m a rule follower. And well, earlier this week I talked to Shari Braendel… color expert and fashionista extraordinaire. I thought she would be so excited that I was actually stepping out into the highlighted world of women’s hair. But no, no, no.

She told me that I am the color type “clear” and of all six color types only the clear should stay away from highlights. But I’d already made the appointment. So, I then had a crises in my little rule following heart.

In my book it was against the rules to cancel the appointment for the next day. But then it was also against the rules to go ahead and have my hair highlighted because I’m a “clear.” Which obviously only applies to my coloring and not the state of my brain.

I showed up at the appointment and the sweetest hairdresser in the world named Dawn patiently discussed my options… she is the bomb and cuts most of the Proverbs girls’ hair now. Anyhow, she encouraged me to try it and if I didn’t like it, we could fix it.

And here we are with highlighted hair.

So, this morning I sit down in my nice little air conditioned house… which by the way doesn’t have any live plants in it because I’m good at killing things that are green. No live plants… did you get that detail. That means no trees, no ferns, no live anything that can hide creatures okay? And I’m all thinking about my highlights and my blog post and I’m running my fingers through my hair and what to my wandering fingers should appear???!!!!???

I can’t even type it without gagging.

I’m serious, I’m gagging right now.

Oh my stars, I can’t even say it or write it.

So, that’s where you come in… finish this story in a sentence or two and I’ll pick one of you to win a copy of my book “The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained… how to defeat mommy stress.”

And you’ll be happy to know that I wrote that book back when “clear” described my thoughts not my color scheme.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend sweet friends.


  1. says

    Oh my goodness, I’m dying here…and I keep running my fingers through my own hair too! I first thought bird poop…but now…I don’t even want to think it could be a tick or some live creature…you poor dear!

    We must know…and see photos! 🙂

  2. says

    and what did I find? A roach. I jumped up in a rush to crush it I must. I ran to the john and cried, what has to be done?

    A beauty I felt before that bad site of the roach that fell out of my fabulous mod hair style.

    Oh Lord I did say as I stood in the john, You are the king and humbly I will continue to sing!

  3. says

    A dead wood tick burried in my scalp! I haven’t quite figured out if the highlights is where the tick came from, or if the the highlights killed this rotten creature!

    It couldn’t have been a spider. We all have themin our house, plants or no plants. But, I did find a bug in either my hair or my kids hair once. I had the same gag affect. Chills, dryheaves, the works. Please post a picture of the new do! Now I have to find out what my color type is???

    Happy Mother’s Day!

  4. says

    My 2nd guess:
    It certainly wasn’t eight tiny reindeer! It was brown and gross, yes, it really looked “ick” – a great big, ugly, vampire Tick!
    My 3rd guess is based on my biggest nature fear in life:

    Im thankful that I didn’t see, that scary, hairy, monster Bee!

    Whatever it was, we’re having fun at your expense.


  5. says

    Buy my wandering fingers fling it far, that six-legged critter.

    I can’t write it. I can’t say it. I can only search and search through my brown shag carpet that that “gag.”

    Oh what if it reproduces before I find it??? How will I ever get the eggs out of this carpet?

    Where, oh, where has the little brown spider gone??? Where, oh, where can he be?

  6. says

    (*corrected version*)

    But my wandering fingers fling it far, that six-legged critter.

    I can’t write it. I can’t say it. I can only search and search through my brown shag carpet for that “gag.”

    Oh what if it reproduces before I find it??? How will I ever get the eggs out of this carpet?

    Where, oh, where has the little brown spider gone??? Where, oh, where can he be?

  7. says

    “When what to my wandering fingers should appear….” (I’m scratching my head as I write this!!)
    …a slug
    …a louse ( is that the singular of lice?)
    …a worm
    …a cockroach!!!:) lol!

    Happy Mother’s Day! Karyne

  8. says

    You dilemma was obviously the HIGHLIGHT of our day!

    Anxiously awaiting pics of the tics, as you grouse about the louse, squirm about the worm, or cried about the spide(r).

    Happy Mother’s Day. Hope they treat you with the royalty you deserve.

  9. says

    a catepillar, you know they have a highlighted look to them, maybe it was attracted to your highlights!!
    and those thigns are all over the place here! And oh, we were sitting on my friends’ deck and one was hanging onto the railing with its back legs and reaching out for her with its front!! oh it was so creepy!!

  10. Squirrelly Mom says

    I’m running my fingers through my hair and what to my wandering fingers should appear???!!!!???

    but my handsone husband to tell me how much he still loves me after all these years!! Just like back in high school.

  11. says

    A nasty spider was on your hand. After you screamed and jumped around and furiously shook your hair, you ran to find someone to confirm that you did not, in fact, have any more creepy crawlies. You then dispatched that person to go kill the spider you left in the other room.
    🙂 Eww…I have similar creepy stories, I just got goosebumps. yuck!

  12. says

    I’ll be different and say a tiny tree frog. One of those litte ones that may be cute on a leaf in a greenhouse but found anywhere else like hair…. sorry animal lovers, he would deserve certain death. (By someone else’s hand!)

  13. says

    I squeezed down pinching with my two fingers….and there it was, a LOUSE!!!!!”OH, NO….”not me Lord, not me”. The telephone started to ring and in a panick i ran to look at the caller id. It was Dawn the hairdresser. Explaining to me how sorry she was and that other clients were calling her as well. Somehow a young boy had headlice and brought it into the shop. Dawn had thought she sanitized it all and cleaned it well. Now, since I do follow my rules. She has offered to treat my hair for me after hours tonight and…..I get to get rid of these highlights..and go back to “clear”..Keep following your rules girls!…..God bless.

  14. says

    a slug?

    Ok, I’m grasping for straws here, but that’s the only really yucky thing that comes to mind right now.

  15. says

    I gave away two of your books – My Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained – during Rocks In My Dryers carnival a few weeks back. I got lots of comments for people to win – so many would LOVE this book!
    Anyway. It has to be a cockroach. They are the absolute nastiest creatures on earth. And I can write about them because I have a big, strong husband that will kill them anytime I scream. Sorry all you insect and animal lovers out there!
    Anyway….. do tell….
    An Uncluttered Life

  16. says

    I’m guessing a spider… a black, fuzzy, jumping spider! EWWWW

    Please, show us your hi-lites! And I had no clue there was a color-type “clear”. I think I learn something everytime I read your posts!

    Thanks! 🙂 jen

  17. says

    Okay, I’m going to try this again! (I posted yesterday at 50 comments, but it didn’t appear. Must’ve done something wrong. ???)

    “A sticky, greenish glob. Oh Yuck! A great big booger. Totally stuck.”

  18. says

    Ok, I don’t have time to read through all the comments, but it appears everyone else thinks that it is a LIVE thing…but I think that it CAME FROM a live thing.
    My guess is…
    Bird Poop.
    *That* would soooo make me gag.