Summer is upon us.
I have evidence of that all about my house.
The kids have cleaned out their lockers. Tall stacks of weary and worn notebooks and half used pencils await my unorganized approach as to what to do with all this stuff.
And since the kids have no more homework, they have taken to busy themselves with things that make me tired already. Here is a glimpse of yesterday:
Brooke: Mom can I make a banana smoothie with ice cream in the blender or would you rather me just have an ice cream bar from the fridge?
Me: (Recognizing her brilliance for phrasing this question the way she did and not wanting to deal with the mess of a nine year old’s approach to using the blender…) I’d rather you have an ice cream bar.
Ashley: Mom, would it hurt worse if a knife fell from the sky and hit your stomach or your arm?
Ashley: Would it hurt worse if a knife fell from the sky and hit your stomach or your arm?
Me: If knives start falling from the sky, we are going to have worse problems than trying to strategically make them strike us in the most less hurtful places. (Yes, I confused even myself with that one… can you have a “most less hurtful place?”)
Art: Brooke, please take your ice cream bar wrapper out of the toilet and throw it in the trashcan.
Me: Mark, honey, you made a mess in the kitchen that you will need to clean up. You got rice and something else all over the floor. What are all these little things?
Mark: Oh, uhhhhhh, well, uhhhhh, those are the toe nails you have to cut off the chicken feet before you cook them.
Me: OH MY STARS, OH MY STARS, MARK!!!! I JUST TOUCHED THOSE THINGS!!! Please get them up and throw them away in the bottom of the trash can… not the top… the very, very, very, bottom…. GAG!!!
Brooke: La, la, la, gross, gross, gross, la, la, la (she’s singing while dripping toilet water from her ice cream wrapper through the house.) La, la, la…. TADA! (and on top of the chicken toe nails it goes.)
Me: Mark… Brooke… did you wash your hands?
Mark and Brooke: Hunh? Mom, it’s fine we’re going swimming.
Me: (Note to self… add extra chlorine to the pool.) You might want to consult Ashley about the condition of things falling from the sky first.
And it’s only the first day of summer y’all.
Summer is upon us.